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A century or so ago Fizzlebang the Mad, formerly known as Fizzlebag the Wise, Formerly known as Fizzlebang the White, formerly known as Fizzlebang the Red, formerly known as just Fizzlebang, formerly known as Ted from up the street; constructed an insane laboratory in the dungeons beneath his towers. It was truly a mixing bowl of all the things that God forgot, and he slung and wove together creature, machine, plant and element into truly pants browning creations. Fizzlebang had little use for the creatures other than haphazard guards for his greater magical works, and creating horrifying chimeras was a hobby that simply coincided with his other two hobbies: frightening tourists and uploading unlikely conspiracy theory videos to youtube. For a time Fizzlebang's hobbies converged, like three sweet lovers who met at a club and decided to keep that thing going all the way back to the hotel, but then the next morning woke to find they had more in common than they thought. Then later two of the lovers insisted that the three should totally go to Paris, but then once the joint bank account was opened, the other two ran off with all the money and left the last one holding the bag. Anyway, that sort of happened. Whether through meddlesome children and their blink dogs, wandering adventurers, or just Fizzlebang's old age turning his truly decrepit and dusty boned ass to worm food, it has been a century since the withered husk of graverot limped down all those stairs to his dungeons. In that time, word began to spread. It was a word of fiery lit gold and back breaking riches that would take at least a dozen camels or perhaps a few very large horses to carry out, and one morning, the long slumbering inhabitants of the long dark dungeon awoke to a very strange sight.

It's been a long time. Creature has inbred with hideous hair-whitening creature until the product of their backwater intercourse produced you. Much has changed since you were shat into the dark world and left to live on a steady diet of gold coins and delicious mineral water. For all you know you have two butts and a hundred eyes. You've never even seen yourself in the light. What does your foreign body look like after all these years of hapless mutation?

[Two animals, one plant, one element]

Rolled 2, 3 = 5

rollin the first

Rolled 4

woops misread the instructions. lets try this again

>>23935425
>monter

Rolled 4

right, reptile

>>23935561
Reptile. We need 1d4 to find out what kind

I want to play a green, striped rabbit with two butts.

rollan' second anima

Rolled 4

First animal part is a turtle!
Lets go for the second.

Rolled 3

My dice likes 4s
Reptile the second

Rolled 4

Rolling plant type

Rolled 2

so we have part turtle, part snake... looking interesting so far. Time for the plant part.

>4
>4
>4
>4
You fucking guys.

Rolled 1

Tree!

Rolled 3, 2 = 5

Time to be a bulbasar I guess

>>23935654
So we have a snake / turtle / willow so far. Element's the last thing.

Rolled 2

>>23935632
>>23935654
nice, we're a willow snake turtle. Probably more flexible then anything else

Rolled 3

>>23935699
Here we go...

Rolled 6

>>23935706

Rolled 8

>>23935706
that was for element btw

interesting we're an icy plant lizard. poisonous vine whips and snapping jaws with biting cold fangs.

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Well bless my nippers. You don't look half bad.

Your eyes hurt from a lifetime of disuse, and the torches now lighting your mostly empty room sting them like an eyeful of bear mace. You're not sure, but you're almost certain you can get sunburned from torchlight. That's what other monsters say anyway. When they're not trying to eat you.

What do you do?

examine barrel

>>23936218
Chase tail.

>>23935762

Stare into the torch light

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>>23936249
This barrel contains delicious mineral water, and is just one part of your cozy dungeon home- and holy BALLS is that another you? You stare for a minute, but that water-thieving pissant stares defiantly back!

>>23936306
ATTACK!

drink some water. then freeze the miscreant.

then lets go explore

>>23936306
Slap his shit.

>>23936306
DESTROY HIM

NO WAIT! Its your own clone! Now neither of you will be virgins!

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Your glorious means of sustenance has been tainted by this encroaching asscrack. Her beauty is a shadey image of the ripped looking reality that is your chiseled ass bodacious body. You decide you can take this slobbering shyster down. Forgoing your normal means of frosty reprisal in an effort to conserve your strength you unleash a flurry of Street-fighter-esque punches that are sure to leave a smouldering shitstain where once its head rested. But lo! The intruder's visage blurs, and she totally freaks the fuck out just like you!

>>23936744
Fighting failed! Make love not war! We need a peace offering!

>>23936744
Fight harder, not smarter! Fuck that shit up!

>>23936744
Freeze that asshole!

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>>23936800
After a series of hammering blows and frost breath that would send a frost troll into shock, the barrel containing your water bursts and drenches your room, sending every drop of your golden nectar of the gods across the floor, and exorcising the almost certainly type VI demon that had sunk her foul fangs into it.

>>23936831
victory pose!

>>23936831
Drink as much of it as you can before it's gone!

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>>23936837

You showed that fucker.

>>23936854
now quickly do this before its to late

>>23936912
Now go stare at the torch

>>23936912
Claim territory.

>>23936912
Take a piss thus marking my territory

>>23936912
We are a reptile so find something about our size, eat it, then sleep for a day.

>>23937029
We're also cold blooded and therefore die to our own powers therefore.

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>>23936933
The water crystalizes quickly. In an effort to drink as much delicious mineral water as possible, you start to lap at the icicles. This is met with limited success, and you find your numb and pained tongue can't even say your glorious name.

[What is your name?]

>>23937213
Nort.

>>23937213
Nigel Slithersworth

>>23937213
Crinkle.

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>>23936218
>Dat Monster

Just like Kyoryuu...

Yeah we need to find this monster (albeit smaller) and make it our Waifu.

>>23937295
But we're a lady. Our reflection was female.

>>23937252
This

>>23937345
how is nort ladylike!? how about lady slithersworth

>>23937213
Yesiel

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>>23937370
After a few tries, you manage to say it. Whew. Lady Nort Yesiel Crinkle Slithersworth... You silently curse your unforktongued mother for her strange but apt last name as you stumble over the obscene number of S's in it. Granted, in the dank abyss of unlit mineral water paradise, you never knew how fitting a last name you had. Not that anyone really knows. Most just call you "Lady", because your fuckbig name takes a half an hour to pronounce.

Now down to the real business. These torches look shadey as fuck. Or maybe not so shadey. Is this fire? Damn that shit's bright. While you wait for the fire to get tired and slow down, you find that it can in fact burn your eyes.

Suddenly, you hear a familiar voice from your doorway.
"Heyo Nort! Uhow Ya doin?"

It's your buddy, Fargle. Your vision clears, and you get an idea of what he looks like for the first time.

[1 Anima 1 Element 1 Techne]

>>23937465
Rollin for Anima

Rolled 4

>>23937465
Rolling for Anima

Rolled 2

>>23937527
And I failed that

Rolled 4

>>23937538

>>23937541
For variety's sake, let's go with the 2.

Someone wanna roll 2d6 for insect?

>turtle quest

Rolled 1

>>23937541
>>23937557
>4
>4
The dice gods sure are mocking us today.
Rolling for element

Rolled 3

>>23937582
>fire

And...

Rolled 4, 5 = 9

>>23937576

>>23937620
>>23937592
Caterpiller / Coals and Embers. And Techne?

Rolled 4

>>23937635
Lets find out.

Rolled 2

>>23937741
4 again.

Machine and...

Rolled 6

Machine type

>>23937635
>>23937741
>>23937748
Caterpiller / Coals and Embers/turbine

>>23937762
>steam powered turbopiller

Holy shit Fargle is awesome.

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Sweet tits, your buddy looks like a steam powered pimping machine! Is this really the nerd you've pushed around your whole life?

>>23938064
Give our beta buddy a noogie, and try not to burn ourselves.

>>23938064
Congratulate him on looking sick as fuck.

>>23938064
maximum bro fist

>>23938064
Warm our cold blooded body on his back, and sleep for a week.

Or ask him what brings him over here. Y'know, whatever.

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>>23938064
>Nerd
Bitch, dont you dare talk shit about this catapimper. In fact, I want to play as him now. Fargle is fucking GOAT.

>Fire and ice bffs
It almost feels planned.

>>23938064
that is one awesome caterpillar i see here.

>>23938111
[Lost our collective shit]

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>>23938064
I totally hope he evolves into this.

>>23938111
I prefer Lady since treesnakes.

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>>23938064
>>23938164


What?
Fargle is evolving!

Congratulations!
Our Fargle has evolved into Warthog!

Warthog has learned BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTT!

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>>23938105
You actually don't give your buddy any shit today- he looks super badass. You give him a hofist just for being dirty good looking. He doesn't really get why you're suddenly nice to him, but shit dudes, you tell him that's life. Turn out good looking, and people are all over that cockerpiller.

After an immense bout of blushing that leaves his coals glowing, he asks you why you're still here, and why you destroyed your precious mineral water?

>>23938359
Oh shit, we have destroyed our mineral water!
Lets see if he wants to help us go out and get some more, along with another barrel

>>23938359
I was drinking from my barrel and lo and behold in the mineral water there was another snake turtle ice thing, and when two of our kind come in contact, we must fight to the death for territorial and mating rights!

It was a great battle and my barrel was a causality of war.

>>23938359
brag of our noble victory, then ask Fargle whats up?

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>>23938408
>>23938411
Oh that's... a weird story. He's sure you were the only very lovely snake turtle ice thing in here. But if you're already fighting, that's good. The lights are on! You'll both be lucky to get to the front of the dungeon among everyone else who's hurrying to kill whatever walked in without any-

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>>23938441
-Trouble

Like this large, odd, burly affront to god taking up the doorway.

[One Anima, One Techne]

Rolled 5

>>23938455

Rolled 1

>>23938488

Rolled 4

>>23938488
Rolling for Techne

Rolled 4

>>23938499
Rolling for Machine

>>23938499
>>23938525
>Rolling fours the RPG

So we got a ripped as fuck clockwork duck...
http://birdswitharms.tumblr.com/

>>23938596
dear god yes

>>23938596
Give him a single beefy arm and a clockwork arm oh please give him a beefy arm and a clockwork arm.

>>23938627
>Trogdor

Rocket Space Princess Quest upd8t, and now this? today is a good day.

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"You quacked in the wrong neighborhood, motherduckers."

[Boop. We'll stop for the night here. See you next Thursday, same quack time, same quack place.]

archive?

>>23938929
we be waiting

>>23938953
archive

>>23938960
How archive?

>>23938997
This thread has now been archived.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/23935425/

I fucked up the title a bit, sorry

>>23939041
Thanks! And it's fine. See you guys next week.