AWWWWW YEAH BABY

IT'S DICE TIME

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>>24326141

-----------------------------------------------
Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)
-----------------------------------------------
Population: 153/153 ogres (6 dead), 84/84 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies
- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]
- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)
- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles
- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]

- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books
- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage
- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters (1), Rockkits (0), Riders (0), Heallusionist (0)
- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)
- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL

- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]
- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography
- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0
- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit
- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best
-----------------------------------------------

ROLLS
>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>60-90: Successful
>40-60: Adequate
>10-40: Not So Good
>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>1: LUCKY STUPID

(Cont.)

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>>24326173
After quite a few weeks of build-up, preparation, and some unexpected hitches, the battle between the ogres' very first allies and their mortal enemies is finally underway.

Led by their great prophet, the Yellow Ant, the roiling, eerily synchronized mass of Formichroma warriors charge toward the waiting ranks of the Scaratone. Here and there, squads of ogres stand tall on the front lines, towering over their beetle-men allies. Behind the front lines are the Felpowder Elves, who compensate for their smaller numbers by wielding the only (real) firearms to be found for miles. Behind THEM are the ogres' wild-card spellcasters, who are guarding the Scaratone Queen from harm. And somewhere underneath it all are a small group of dwarven engineers, who have left many nasty surprises for the Formichroma to find the hard way...

... and right now, Boss Bawss Fistboss, boss of the ogres, is ignoring all of that as he glares daggers at the Yellow Ant, clear across the battlefield. Just before the prophet retreated behind his ranks of soldiers, he revealed that he wields the cursed sword Coreweaver, which is in fact some kind of terrifying spider demon who once lived in the bowels of the earth.

The only problem is that this is a terrifying spider demon that Boss Bawss Fistboss thinks of as a nice person, and a new friend ("friend" being best described as "someone who Boss Bawss was willing to give a happy ogre-ish hug to.") Boss Bawss is also reasonably certain that Coreweaver isn't exactly happy about this state of affairs.

To Boss Bawss Fistboss, an ogre leader of many morals, that just rustles his jimmies like nothing else.

(Cont.)

Haha! Time for Ogres!

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>>24326192
Currently, Boss Bawss Fistboss is piloting his Ogretek Armor, and is command of a small squadron of vulture-like Patchwings and Solar-Powered Skeletons (it's complicated).

The Formichroma have just started charging, and have yet to reach melee range; the Scaratones (and everyone else) are holding their positions.

[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
[ ] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.
[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.
[ ] [HOBNOB] Remotely talk to your squad leaders.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
Ogres gotta ogre

>>24326214
[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.

Let's hold back for now. The Yellow Ant will get his, but only at the right time.

>>24326214
>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.

KRUMPIN' TIME, MAH NEGROES

>>24326214
[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed. And if everyone's doing fine:
[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.

[X] HOBNOB
[X] MAGIC
[X] OTHER: Challenge the Yellow Ant to single combat to free Coreweaver!

>>24326214
>[x] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
Give them the stick.

>>24326214

Well. As soon as we have the chance, we need to charge the Prophet, grab the Coreweaver sword, and use Ogre-ness to release Coreweaver from imprisonment by binding her to the Ogretek armor instead. Thus, Coreweaver and Bawss can lay the beatdown on the prophet together.

Of course, we'll let her out immediately after the battle. We're friends, after all.

But for now, we need to use our wits.

[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.

>>24326214
>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
>[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.

Gubbins, help me fuck this guy up, he took our new spider-friend!

>>24326214
[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.

We end this. Here. Now. On turn one.
Roll your 99s my Ogre brothers! Then we'll cash in our Lucky Fate Chip, and SUPERKILL him DOUBLEDEAD!

>>24326214
[X][OBSERVE]Hold the line, give dem dorfs to work a lil' of their magic before we lay the smackdown.

>>24326214
[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed

Actually, what are the odds Gubbins can finagle up something to free Coreweaver right here and now?

>>24326214
[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.

Time to go save our new friend.

Last Second encouragement for our Boys
"BOYS! THESE FORMICHROMA HAVE HURT OUR FRIENDS AND KILLED OUR BOYS! ARE WE GONNA STAND FOR IT?!
((Boys answer: NO!))
THEN WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!
((KRUMP THEM))"

>>24326214
>[x]Tell Gubbins to summon Ruoumoko to the party.
>[x] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.

We could break their entire war effort with one alpha-strike. Take out the prophet and crush their morale.

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>[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
It's all ogre now.

>>24326492
Pretty low, since any plan will have to be a little more specific than "pump magic energy in their general direction and hope for the best"

>>24326585
>any plan will have to be a little more specific than "pump magic energy in their general direction and hope for the best"

That sounds like a challenge to me. GET THE MAP!

Seriously, that map is insta'win. Use the map!

>>24326652
How in the hell would the map help us free Coreweaver?

>>24326702
Easy. We draw Coreweaver on the map. She can't be in two places at once, can she?

>>24326702
By drawing a giant spider demon on the map and name it Coreweaver, we just might free her.
Or summon another giant demon-spider.

>>24326775
>>24326746
This could backfire horribly or just not work. A good krumpin' should do the trick just fine.

>>24326821
But then Coreweaver can't help with the krumpin'! That's not Ogre Justice!

>>24326775

Hmmm... how to free Coreweaver... gotta think like an Ogre.

Prophet stabs Ogretek armor. Sword gets stuck. Sword, and Coreweaver, are therefore technically part of Bawss's armor, so we can let her out at anytime. Job done.

>>24326843

She can help krump after.

>>24326702
Draw a picture of a giant spider-demon coming out of a broken sword.

>>24326843
well ogre justice is boss knows best first. and we know that this guy needs a good krumpin

>>24326821
Agreed. Let's save map shennanigans for later.

[x] Omni-aggress

We gonna aggress so hard we retroactively created the idea of aggression.

Typical orge shit in other words.

>>24326746
>>24326775
>>24326865
Does the map work for things that do not constitute permanent geological features?

>>24326585
0%? Sounds like 100% to me! By which I mean, INTERVENTION TIME.

>>24326843
We can take Coreweaver from that prophet guy and krump him with her, problem solved.

>>24326821
>This could backfire horribly

The fact that you think this is an argument AGAINST doing something shows me you don't get how Ogre Quest works.

That is an excellent argument FOR something.

Ogres.

>>24326932
I'm more against it because the dice love us enough without outright cheating. Using that map that way feels dirty.

>>24326932
>>24326963

I think we left the map on Ogir Place.

>>24326896
Trees are not permanent geological features.

Seriously, it's a magic map that just says 'FUCK YOU' to reality its self.

This has potential to be extremely Ogreish.

Lead the charge!

>>24327000
Guys, guys. . . It takes too long for Ogres to draw.

Do you really want Boss Bawsss out of the action for twenty minutes while he gets out his crayons and tries to draw Coreweaver?

>>24327050

As funny as that sounds, no.

>>24326963
Oh, c'mon. It'll be fucking hilarious!

Yellow Ant was all "I am the Chosen One"
"I am invincible"
"I wield the sword of Dues Ex Machina"
"Blah, blah, blah, I'm just awesome and great and super special"

Then, before the action even starts, "WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY SWORD?"

That's why you shouldn't make a boring opening monolog revealing the secrets of your magic weapons, dumbass!

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>>24326214
>[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] 'ERE WE GO

Boss Bawss Fistboss narrows his eyes as he watches the Yellow Ant stand stock still, allowing the Formichroma troops to flow past him. It's not hard to intuit the prophet's plan: put an army between him and the enemy. If things start going south, or if there's a chance for him to strut his stuff, the Yellow Ant can jump in and support the Formichroma as needed. More importantly, keeping to the back of the army will just about put the Yellow Ant out of reach for most of the battle.

In an instant, Boss Bawss realizes four things:

1) He simply cannot allow the Yellow Ant to get away.
2) For once in his life, he is very, very mad.
3) Someone is yelling very loudly. To his surprise, it's him.
4) He has already started moving.

"NNNNNRRRRAAAA-"

The battle, barely under way as it is, nearly grinds to a halt as a titanic roar seems to shake the earth itself, sowing momentary terror among both sides and causing everyone to look around for its source.

"- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"

Those with the presence of mind to look UP then can't help but gawk as a rather large ogre clad in even bigger enchanted armor hurtles through the air, almost as if the laws of physics (and any meticulously laid-out plans and strategies) were nothing but an afterthought.

"-AAAAAAAAAAARRRR-"

T-minus five seconds before impact, the Yellow Ant's armored head snaps up, his large eyes widening even further as he wraps his mind around the size, velocity, and the sheer impossibility of the THING headed his way, and starts scrambling away with almost indecent haste.

"-RRRRRROOOOO- oh."

(cont.)

Rolled 93

>>24326141

Awwight lets do this!

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>>24327239
T-minus three seconds before impact, Boss Bawss snaps out of his haze of rage, stares down at the rapidly-approaching Formichroma ranks (and the individual soldiers staring right back at him with mounting horror), and very calmly realizes that he isn't sure if his armor is durable enough to withstand the impact.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

[ ] [BUTTON] Push a random button!
[ ] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!
[ ] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!
[ ] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>24327156
So you're saying that you want Bawss, currently shaking with rage over the treatment of his friend, to stop everything in the middle of battle to get out his map and crayons to draw Coreweaver, actively using the reality warping power that typically works for Ogres because they don't really understand what they're doing?
Bad form.

Rolled 79

>>24327255

[X] Megaton Punch the ground with Mecha Channeled Geomancy

>>24327255
>[ ] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!

And maybe the Goddess of Luck Intervention

[X][EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!

ALL OF THEM!!

>>24327255
[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!

Welcome to Indiana Jones Time, Yellow Ant. HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN!?

[x] ROLLING!

We will become a boulder of justice.

Rolled 17

>>24327255
>[ ] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces!

WHO the hell do you think be are KICK!

>>24327255
you really have to ask.
[ ] [EVERYTHING]

>>24327294
>HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN!?

You just gave me the image of us hysterically and evily laughing while rolling down all the Formichroma, chasing Yellow Ant and yelling "HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?!"

>>24327255
[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!

Rolling rolling rolling! Keep that Ogre rolling!

>>24327255
>[x] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!
>[x] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces!

Randomly hit buttons while charging forward insanely.

Seems like the Ogre thing to do in this situation.

Wait, why not do
[X] [WRITE-IN] ALL OF THE ABOVE

Let's press ALL the buttons while rolling on top of him!! OGRES!!

Rolled 50

>>24327255

Engage the button that says "Stop in Mid-Air."

Rolled 20

>>24327255

Use our latent geomancy to cushion our fall.

Right on top of the Yellow Ant.

While pushing all the buttons.

Wot could go wrong?

>>24327255
Everything!
Stomp!

One of the buttons has got to do something good, but if not we'll just take em out old school.

All of the above!

>>24327255
>and the individual soldiers staring right back at him with mounting horror
The answer is obvious.

[X] [WRITE-IN] Time to play Chicken.
-[X] [MAGIC] Reinforce your armor (with rocks?) to make the point.

[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!

>>24327435
I'm with this guy, Push all the buttons randomly
while doing a rolling stomp into the guy's face.

>>24327255
[ROLL] Because why land on a few of 'em when you can roll over a bunch of 'em and STILL hit Yellow Ant?

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>>24327255
>'hit all the buttons' wins
>MAY THE GODS HELP US ALL

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

>>24327502
this.

Rolled 79

Behold!

Rolled 100

>>24327534

Rolled 26

>>24327534
Oh boy!

Rolled 23

>>24327534

Rolled 16

>>24327534
'ERE WE GO, BOYS!

Rolled 59

>>24327534

Rolled 59

>>24327558

What the shit.

Rolled 60

>>24327558

OH SHIT

>>24327558
Drop everything! We just destroyed them.

Rolled 9

>>24327534

Rolled 63

>>24327534
>>24327558
it begins

Rolled 41

>>24327534
Beseeching the Goddess.

>>24327572
>>24327575

DOUBLES

And the 2nd post has doubles in it's post too.

Rolled 93

>>24327558
>>24327572
>>24327575

Oh good gods.

>>24327558
ITS HAPPENING

>>24327558
Well. Yellow is toast.

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Rolled 82

>>24327558

Well, there goes Blorp's sanity.

>>24327558
I feel bad for Blorp sometimes.

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>>24327558
>>24327572
>>24327575
I'd forgotten how much I missed this.

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>>24327605
>Well, there goes Blorp's sanity.

>Implying he still has it.

Rolled 73

>>24327606

He has to be a masochist man.

Rolled 44

>>24327598

Holy christ.

100, two 59's right next to eachother, and my 59 had a double 75 in the post number.

ALL HAIL THE RNG!

>>24327583
It has already ended.

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>>24327558

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>>24327558
>>24327572
>>24327575
>>24327634

>>24327255

[X] STOMP

Do the Mario! Bounce off of the soldier's heads, and land next to the prophet!

>>24327558
Well, I was going to roll, but OGRES.
We yell 'Aurysix Away!'

Rolled 44

>>24327647

YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS

>>24327647
There, there, Blorp. It's okay. Someday we'll roll badly. Then we'll just call upon the goddess to fix it.

>>24327647
I thought 100 was actually bad?
So brilliant it's stupid and all that?

Rolled 65

>>24327634
>>24327666

I don't even

>served ngsdael

>>24327669
Stupid, brilliant, and lucky are all basically synonyms for the purposes of Ogres.

>>24327634
>>24327666
>there were no rolls in between
FUCK-

Rolled 98

>>24327666

YOU GOT A 666 IN YOUR POST NUMBE TOO YOU BRILLIANT MOTHERFUCKER

>>24327669

See>>24326173
>ROLLS
>>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY
>>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID
>>90-98: Stupidly Successful
>>60-90: Successful
>>40-60: Adequate
>>10-40: Not So Good
>>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT
>>1: LUCKY STUPID

>>24327648

I seem to have been a bit too late.

>>24327558
>>24327572
>>24327575
>>24327634
>>24327666

OH MY GOD.

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>>24327669
Well, I HAD planned it to be more "amazing but not necessarily(?) useful at this point in time." It'd be like trying for a tech advancement and getting something so amazing and advanced that you lack the intermediate techs to make reasonable use of it yet (i.e. discovering nuclear fission at a time the ogres had just discovered dirt farming).

.... of course, with ogres being ogres, who knows?
also why does the luck keep happening THE ROLLS ARE ALREADY OVER-

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>>24327758
>THE ROLLS ARE ALREADY OVER-

THE ROLLS ARE NEVER OVER

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>>24327534
>>24327558

MY NAME IS BOSS BOSS, LEADER OF THE OGRES.

NOW OGRES, TRANSFORMER AND SQUASH THOSE BUGS!

Rolled 95

>>24327758

Hahah. We still love you.

>>24327758
Because the rolls have a love-hate relationship with you.

>>24327863

Ogretron

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>>24328048
This is the only kind of Ogretron I will ever accept as canon.

>>24328048
>>24328088
Meanwhile: Every single one of our allies are face palming. And then we accidentally fall on our enemies and win.

Rolled 23

Inb4 the armour transforms into an Evangelion in berserker mode.

>>24328180

Or Iron Giant gun mode.

>>24328180
>inb4
Armour transforms into either a transformer or a Toa

Rolled 84

>>24328201

But the Iron Giant dies.

Fuck that gave my 8 year old self the feels.

>>24328180
It transforms into a butt, and we sit on the fucker.

>>24328180
Obviously we locked the missiles onto Yellow Ant, fired our jetboots to land, as we painted all nearby formichroma in flamethrowers, burning them to death. Their screams muted by the heavy metal elven music from the future about how Ogres burn all their enemies and destroy the world (because Ogres, fuck yeah, melting your brains and burning your world away!) and launching the pyrotechnic display to create a wall of fire between the two armies.

And then the missiles launched.

Shock and Awe.

>this time between Blorps next post
>that irreplaceable yearning and anticipation

>>24328257

No he doesn't

>>24327534

(While I do know that you need time, it's been about 46 minutes)

>>24328369

Really? I could have swore he went kaboom when he launched himself into the sky with The Bomb. It's been over a decade since I've watched it.. memory is fuzzy.

I'll haft to rewatch it now...

>>24328428

The last scene is the remaining bolt rolling out of Hogarth's room to link up with the Giant's other pieces. His head is in the Arctic Circle or some shit and it shows his eyes open and him smiling before credits roll

>>24328456

Huh. I had even forgotten Hogarth's name it's been so long.

Downloading. I need to relive my childhood. Might as well grab Titan AE and Atlantis while I'm at it.

>>24328532
>Titan AE, Atlantis, Iron Giant
Mah nigga!

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>waiting for dis next post

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>>24328532

Did Blorp fall asleep?

Or did he finally have that aneurysm that's been building up?

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>>24327534
>>24327558
>>24327572
>>24327575
>>24327634
>[X] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!
>roll all the numbers

In an instant, Boss Bawss Fistboss makes his decision. And at that moment, the larger ogre mashes both hands against every single button on the dashboard for the armored suit that he doesn't quite recall how to duplicate, having slapped together mundane and magical objects and ended up with a sum far greater than its component parts-

Years later, no two veterans of this battle will be able to accurately describe what the Ogretek Armor did at that moment. No matter how close the veterans were to the scene in question, no matter which side or faction they belonged to, and no matter how much alcohol the veterans imbibed while telling this part of the story, NO two people could ever agree on a single, unified description of Boss Bawss's actions.

Thousands of miles away, certain esteemed magi or those with a certain magical/psionic sensitivity very nearly passed out as the very fabric of reality seemed to rip itself apart and sew itself back together in the very same instant. Even those without any talent in magic stumbled, feeling the ground beneath them shudder AND remain perfectly still AND jump a few hundred yards to the left, all at once. The highest echelons of certain civilizations, already mildly terrified by that inexplicable dicking of the time half of the space-time continuum, nearly went into conniptions as the space half suddenly decided to step out for a quick jaunt to the metaphysical convenience store, taking along its good pals physics, Euclidean geometry, and sanity.

(Cont.)

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>>24328748
Elsewhere, a good many two-bit evil cults took this as a cue to ramp up their nefariously annoying, mildly evil plots, opening a lot of jobs for many rookie adventurers over the next few weeks. Elsewhere ELSE, one group in particular also took reality's shitting itself as a cue to ramp up its own nefariously annoying plot, refining it into something liable to give most civilizations a pretty big headache somewhere along the line... but that's neither here nor there, of course.

Here and now, those unfortunate Formichroma standing in the way of Boss Bawss Fistboss's Ogretek Armor are absolutely entranced and terrified by the way reality seems to fracture around the ten foot tall mech, splits along the seams revealing shrieking drill bits, strange metal boxes unleashing thousands of cloud-trailing missiles, charging beams of pure light, and more bizarrely-articulated blades than anyone has room for, /all of these space-intensive weapons impossibly sharing the same amounts of space on the robot/. Everything is impossibly jutting out of the Ogretek Armor, making it look like blades on the Swiss Army Knife to end all Swiss Army Knives.

Having barely managed to scramble away from the chaos, the Yellow Ant is flung away like a rag doll as the impact site actually detonates in a fiery cataclysm, hurling wailing Formichroma soldiers every which way. The prophet, wincing and shielding his eyes against the glow and the smoke, struggles to regain his footing-

- only to gape as the smoke cloud /bulges outward/, framing two pairs of eyes- one pair glowing and mechanical, and one pair ogre-y and really quite grumpy.

Bereft of his guards, and any backup close enough to run interference, the Yellow Ant swiftly draws Coreweaver and aims a slash at Boss Bawss Fistboss, moving again with that terrifying burst of speed he'd shown in the depths of Daphnaia.

[ ] [DODGE]
[ ] [PARRY]
[ ] [COUNTER]
[ ] [ALL THE FUCKING BUTTONS AGAIN]
[ ] [WORDS]
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

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>>24328732
>>24328748

Hah.

>>24328759
[X] [DISARM]
-[X] [LITERALLY, IF NECESSARY]

>>24328759
Disarm, literally take his sword arm and remove it from him. Fuck Yellow Ant, he does not get to keep her.

>>24328759
>[ ] [DODGE]

Dodge, then drill Yellow Ant's head in.

Lady Luck Intervention Roll!

Is Yellow Ant an insectoid, Asian Anthony Cumia?

>>24328795
this

>>24328759

"SHE IS A CUTE SPIDER THAT I HUGGED AND YOU PLAN TO USE HER AS A WEAPON AGAINST ME?"

GIVE

COREWEAVER

TO

ME

All the buttons.

>>24328759
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]

Catch it and rip it from his hands.

>>24328759
[WRITE-IN] Ignore the attack; punch Yellow Ant in the face.

>>24328795
>>24328818
Seconding these. Can we use the Luck Intervention to free Coreweaver?

>>24328759
[X] [DISARM] Literally. Even if not necessary.

If fact, ESPECIALLY if not necessary.

>>24328759
First and foremost we're freeing out new friend!

[X] DODGE
[X] GIT DAT SWORD!

>>24328759
Bear hug the yellow ant to death, ogres give the best hugs.

>>24328759
>[X] [DISARM] Literally. Even if not necessary.

[X] [DISARM] Literally, if necessary.

>>24328855
And stab him with Corewaver.

>>24328852
Let's see how we roll first, then we'll decide whether we need to pull out the INTERVENTION.

Sorry for that delay back there, had to take care of a few things!

>>24328826
>>24328852
WELP, the intervention was always meant to reroll a bad roll, not like

do everything

which just make things more terrifying than they already are

who is Anthony Cumia, google is not giving me information things

>>24328759
That little bug got hisself the attention of Boss Bawss, he done fucked up.

>>24328884
Yes.
In fact, forget the dodging. Just grab the sword and stab him with it!

>>24328795
What this guy said, Disarm him!

Release the Machine Spirit from it's bindings. Let it back us up as we take Yellow Ant in single combat.

It's Ogre-o-Bug now. Time ta krump 'em.

>>24328759
Would Disarming count as a Combat Roll? Will we get a +30 bonus for it? 'Cause if we do, I'm voting for it.

>>24328759
>[x] [WORDS]

Say hi to Coreweaver.

>[x] [DODGE]
>[x] [MOVE LEFT]
>[x] [PARRY]
>[x] [COUNTER]
>[x] [MOVE RIGHT]
>[x] [LUNGE FORWARD]
>[x] [SPIN ON THE SPOT]
>[x] [JUMP BACKWARD]

All. At. The. Same. Time.

We already broke reality. Might as well have some fun with it. Let's see how many places we can be in at the same time.

inb4 we break his mind, leaving him defeated and weeping on the ground, without ever touching him.

>>24328759
Disarm.

>>24328906

Aww...

Anthony Cumia, co-host of the Opie and Anthony radio show.

>>24328906
How about if we use it on a good roll? Would we just, like, add to the luck?

>>24328759
Dodge, dip, dive, duck, and... [X]DISARM

>>24329038
I think it really just replaces the result with something amazing and mind breaking. Goddess of Luck just looks at reality and goes, "Naw that's not what happens. This is what happens."
So really it would be a waste to use it on an already good roll unless we need it to be batshit crazy amazing.

>>24329038
Basically, >>24329074 has it right.

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>>24328748
>>24328759
>mfw Bawss achieves CHIM
Dragonbreaks, dragonbreaks all ogre the place.

>>24328759
>[] [ALL THE FUCKING BUTTONS AGAIN]

Press ALL the buttons!

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>>24328759
>[X] [DISARM] by a landslide, with a side order of
>[X] [CATCH-TAKE]

damn, Yellow Ant doesn't get a break, huh

LET'S DO THIS

>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)

Rolled 33

>>24329179
INITIATE IT
WHATEVER IT IS

Rolled 70

>>24329179
Rolling.

Rolled 5

>>24329179
Are you feeling lucky punk?

>>24329179
Don't fuck up!

Rolled 36

>>24329179
The best hugs!

Rolled 35

>>24329179

Time for a fail. I can just feel it.

Rolled 29

>>24329179
Another good roll?

Rolled 78

>>24329197
Yes!

>>24329179
So hey, do we get a combat bonus or what?

>>24329197
Babeh.

>>24329197
Ha.

Rolled 78

>>24329197

Dohohohoho.

>>24329197
>>24329209
lel

>>24329197
Well that was over quickly.

>>24329197
Oh you, sorry Blorp, but that bug is gonna get squished.

Rolled 71

>>24329197

Rolled 30

>>24329179

Rolled 81

>>24329197
Great!

Rolled 52

>>24329197

We gotta take his severed arm and beat him with it.

Stop hitting yourself!

Rolled 66

>>24329179
Alright, gents. Let's be heroes.

Rolled 87

>>24329229
>>24329237

Yet again, same rolls back to back. Truly Luck hates this bug.

>>24329197

Aw yissssss~

Ogres.

>>24329254
If you were there sooner.

>>24329197
My first ever roll in ogrequest.
This satisfaction will never fade.

Rolled 49

>>24329265

And you reversed it.

>>24329197
Hmm.
33. Not So Good.
But Doubles, which are lucky.

So. . . Adequate?
Hmmm. That might get us Coreweaver, but I REALLY want the arm he summons her with, too.

Anyone else want to burn the token? Because I really want to act a necromancied arm to Bawss's hat, so it can tip itself at the lady-bugs.

Rolled 83

>>24329179

>>24329091
I'd like to think waifu mods are actually seperate alternate worlds that are Vivec's personal fantasy

including the ZZ cup tits

>>24329308
Doubles override everything.

Because Ogres.

>>24329308
Doubles are ALWAYS lucky. It doesn't matter what range it falls under.

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>>24329197
>put up STUPID LUCKY TIME? post
>go to bathroom
>come back
>see what the dice have wrought
>return to the bathroom
>picture related forever

Rolled 39

>>24329308

Nay! Doubles are already awesome!

Save the intervention for when we roll 10-20 or something.

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>>24329322
I don't, because Vivec was a much classier rapist than that who raped men and women alike and invented blowjobs

All the people who like waifu mods have no taste

>>24329328
Well, yes, but it doesn't mean it'll be a time-space rewriting success. Just a success.

And I want that arm. Summon her with that arm, and I'll take it from you.

>>24329384
No, the range doesn't matter. It'll always be STUPID LUCKY.

>>24329384
no, where the doubles lie on the range is irrelevant, they are just awesome.

>>24329384
I think you may have misunderstood, and I apologize if I'm wrong on that, but all doubles are folded into their own separate category. So rolling an 11 nets you the same effect as an 99.

>>24329467
Yes, I knooooow.
Everyone says that. My point is not that doubles aren't good, but that doubles aren't as good as a 1 or 100, which could net us a war win by, you know, ripping all the prophet's arms off and having him bleed to death in one shot, instead of just getting the sword.

I feel pretty bad for Yellow Ant to be honest. In any other place he'd be the hero.

>Unites two warring tribes
>Starts a righteous rebellion against a rebel who's usurped the rightful rulers
>Overcame a cruel goddess who devoured his people and bound her so she can't hurt his race
>Fights off an invasion from a race of Outsiders who have made no gestures to negotiate

>>24329528
The possibility of diplomancy with a rival like this only exists after they have been sufficiently beaten. Until then, it's crump'n.

>>24329525
Pretty sure a 1 or a 100 would stand a better chance of us punching him onto our side. Doubtful on the outright ending the war bit, this is but a small fraction of their empire (I think).

>>24329525
Doubles are better than a 1. 100 is super-effective, but likely with a side dish of hilarious results.

And you've got a gambling problem if you think we'll throw away any doubles.

>>24329590
It would depend, I think, on whether or not the Formichroma's Prophet survives this war.

>>24329587
>Possibility of diplomacy
>Doubtful
But what about....
>Possibility of OGRE diplomacy
>....

>>24329528
Wrong. Dey chose not to be da friends of da ogres. Dat makes 'em evil.

>>24329609
>Doubles are better than a 1
>1 in 100 is not better than 1 in ten
wat

Rolled 90

>>24329528
>I don't, because Vivec was a much classier rapist than that who raped men and women alike and invented blowjobs
>All the people who like waifu mods have no taste
Got in the way of a reality warping butt obsessed blue fat thing with a giant mechatronic suit.

Bawss Bawss Fistbawss is the dmpc of a 14 year old boy.

>>24329655
Ogres.

>>24329655
Lucky stupid < Stupid Lucky

>>24329528
I can honestly see a "OK, we had our scrap. We buddies now" sort of diplomacy going down.

>>24329623
Eh. There are always new prophets or those that will use the fallen as martyrs to their cause (recruiting tools/justification for increased hostilities). Who knows, killing him might well cause the formichroma to double down on the war effort and go out of their way to antagonize the ogres. So you're right, if Yellow ant survives the war but returns home a broken shell of a prophet, the war might well have run it's course. If we kill him the cycle of violence continues.

Rolled 86

>>24329708
NON! IL DEVOIR SANG! Sang! Sang! Sang!

Rolled 7

>>24329761

Has anyone archived this thread yet?

(Sorry, but I don't wanna see it go without being done)

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>>24329179
>>24329197
>[X][DISARM]
>[X][CATCH-TAKE]
>33 - STUPID LUCKY

"The dance begins anew!"

The many-eyed, mandibled sword screams through the air as it arcs right toward Boss Bawss's head, causing the larger ogre's eyes to widen. Perhaps the Yellow Ant expected Boss Bawss to catch the blow on his mech's arm, and the duel would go on from there; maybe the Yellow Ant was channeling magic to make the demon sword sprout a forest of sharp-edged metal legs to impale the ogre on.

What he DIDN'T expect was for Boss Bawss Fistboss to /raise his fleshy arm and let the sword cut into it/.

For one timeless moment, both combatants hand in the air, the Yellow Ant's sword 'buried' in Boss Bawss's arm as deep as a papercut. Frowning in confusion, the prophet exerts pressure, but it's no use- it's almost as if Coreweaver is lodged in stone.

The Yellow Ant's eyes suddenly blaze furiously as he comes to a belated realization. "Coreweaver, you-!"

"NOPE," Boss Bawss rumbles, punching the Formichroma the face with his mech's fist.

There's a frenzied moment as the Yellow Ant is bowled head over heels, a streak of ichor raining onto the ground behind him; the Ogretek Armor executes a ten-point landing, clutching the prophet's dismembered segmented arm in a large articulated fist.

... and Boss Bawss Fistboss, holding a suddenly-sanguine demon sword, finds himself in the midst of the Formichroma army, which has just barely managed to rally itself back together and is staring at the larger ogre with fearful eyes.

[ ] [AGGRESS] Do as much damage as you can to the Formichroma army!
[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!
[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!
[ ] [RETREAT] You got Coreweaver back, now go back and make sure your boys are okay!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>PRESS ALL BUTTONS
>100
>Doubles
>in a giant robot
>annihilate an entire army at once

Fuck yes. There's only one kind of music appropriate here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAi3x5AKM58

Rolled 52

>>24330006
[x] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!

>>24330006
[X] [PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS AGAIN]
-[X] [WHILE CHASING AFTER THAT YELLOW BASTARD]

>>24330006
>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!

Chase that fucker down

Rolled 41

>>24330006
[X] Intimidate and chase the yellow menace!

>>24330006
>Intimidate

Calm yo' tits everybody. Do we REALLY need to kill each other?

>>24330006
[X] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!

It ain't over until Blorp can't deal with the rolls anymore!

Rolled 98

>>24330006

Roight now I's the prophet ya silly buggers.

Apologize ta Queenie for wreckin her home.

Rolled 97

>>24330006
Mutler! Bruler! Tuer!

Chase down the prophet and beat him to death with his own arm. When he's dead, Boss can mount him above the ogretek armour and go about gutting the Formichroma.

>>24330006
>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!

We krumped their boss.

I think that makes us the new boss, logically speaking.

>>24330006
>[X] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!

Their prophet is cast aside in one moment, his symbolic weapon taken from him unceremoniously. All this before the fight has even started! They'd better think long and hard if they want to enter a fight they cannot possibly win.

>>24330080
That's politics for you.

>>24330006
>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!
"the rest o yall stay out of this if yalls dont want to get krumped"

>>24330059
>[X] [INTIMIDATE]
>[X] [CHASE]
I ain't done with ya yet Yellow Ant!

Rolled 71

>>24330006
>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!
>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]

Talk to Coreweaver as you go KRUMP'N.

>So, how do I gets ya outta this thing?

>>24330006
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Say hi to Coreweaver.

>>24330006
>[x] [WRITE-IN]

We got Coreweaver back. See if she wants to come out to play.

>[x] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!

If we can beat sum sense in deh bug, we can end this whole thing. Our Boyz 'ill be safe. Our Friends 'ill be safe. If he stops lookin' for trouble and ends the fightin', even /his/ boyz 'ill be safe!

>>24330006
>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!
>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Use them to beat the prophet to death.

Rolled 100

>>24330006

Bring Coreweaver out.
Sit the Yellow Ant down.

Have them both talk it out while Bawss mediates.

We gotta stick to our strengths and that strength is bone headed stubborness for making friends.

>>24330143
Oh christ

Blorp?

>>24330143
Well, I thought our strength was smashing, but apparently the dice disagree. Diplomancy it is.

>>24330143
Well, I guess we know what we're doing.

>>24330143
This man gets what he wants everybody!

Rolled 94

>>24330143
Hahahahah oh man...

>>24330143
The Goddess of Luck had spoken.

You heard the Lady Blorp.

>>24330143
Lady luck has spoken. When we catch him, this is what we do.

We are going to unite every race on this whole bloody continent.

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>>24330143
B-But I didn't even call for a roll yet
did... did the roll call for me

Rolled 98

>>24330143

The luck singularity is going to split worlds at this point. Good lord.

Rolled 85

>>24330225

The roll knows where you live.

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>>24330143
perfect.

Rolled 48

>>24330225
The Dice Gods have spoken Blorp. I'm sorry, but no one chooses their destiny. When the call comes, you must accept.

Do not ask for who the die tolls... It tolls for thee.

>>24330143
Lady luck has chosen the path before us.
>>24330225
The lady made her vote and her roll.
Your move Blorp.

>>24330225
We have no choice but to accept the path laid out before us.

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>>24330225
don't fight it.

Rolled 43

>>24330225
The Roll can see your house from here.

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>>24330225
Sorry Blorp, you already lost.

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>>24330225
Shhh - shhh - shhh, don't fight it.

Its okay

Go gracefully.

Also, can we change this picture into 'Local Roll ruins everything'?

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>>24330225

Yes

>>24330143
Okay, diceroller. But you'd better not fuck us when it comes time to actually roll for this.

Rolled 27

>>24330225

I'm sorry for breaking your dwindling sanity more.

>>24330312
There was still some hope before now, but you just had to say that.

Rolled 38

HEY.

HEY BLORP.

What happens if call for a roll and we do 1, 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, 99, 100? In order? What happens? You can't say 'brain hemorrhage'.

>>24330427
We win. Ogre singularity.

>>24330427
>>24330435
When that happens, the universe is ogre.

>>24330450

Maybe if that happens, we become the God of Ogres and we continue as a God trying to gain power and influence?

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>>24330427
>>24330435
>>24330450
Everything was ogre and nothing hurt

>>24330450
I love how when is said here, not if

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>>24330450
It was always ogre.

>>24330450
Ogre Quest is love, Ogre Quest is life

Rolled 67

>>24330143
Thus the conclusion that you do not need UN peacekeepers or UN blue helmets. You get UN Plue Peace!Ogres.

They make you be Peaceful weather you want it or not. And there is nothing you can do about it. Their really good at smashing things and even better at breaking your mind and destiny with words.

Rolled 61

>>24330524

I love the fact we've diplomanced our way out of practically every major conflict excluding one.

Fucking Ogres man.

>>24330524
>turning people into weather.
>weather can be peaceful.
Only in Ogre Quest

And now the formichroma have learned the error of their ways, failing to dimplomance with the ogres. There's really no other option that doesn't end in tears. A lot of tears.

>>24330656
You ever go out on a nice spring day with a slight breeze? Shit is peaceful as fuck, man.

>>24330643
I've come to the conclusion that ogres never make enemies, just friends.

Sometimes it's just a real roundabout path to friendship.

Rolled 22

>>24330730

Man, I'm still waiting for the update to turn down the brightness during the day. The current settings aren't even editable in the .ini file.

>>24330744
Except for that dragon bone lich think we fought. She was an asshole.

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>>24330006
>[X] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet!
>[X] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!
[X] [???] ... BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO DIPLOMATICIZE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM

For a few quiet moments, no one on either side moves, the silence broken only by the distant sound of Scaratone ranks smashing into the somewhat-reduced Formichroma lines. Boss Bawss Fistboss turns to look curiously at each Formichroma in turn, while the admittedly brave ant-like soldiers stand their ground, not sure what they can do against this- this THING.

Eventually, one of the war-leaders stands to the fore, clearly building up its courage and looking like it's about to rally the troops-

"So."

The mere SOUND of Boss Bawss's voice is enough to break the Formichroma's resolve. But the ogre continues, raising the Yellow Ant's dismembered arm.

"I'm gonna give him a hand now. If you interfere, there is no word for how 'ard I am gonna krump you."

Boss Bawss pauses.

"... okay, there is a word, an' dat word is 'SUPER-krump,' but you know wot I mean. So do we got a deal, or do we got a deal?"

Without waiting for an answer, the larger ogre turns and marches his mech in the direction of the Yellow Ant, the ranks of Formichroma parting to make way for him. Boss Bawss Fistboss only makes it a few steps before he has to block the Yellow Ant's shield-first charge with the Ogretek Armor's arms, the prophet's shield shrieking as metal skids against metal.

"Brute-beast!" the Yellow Ant snarls, his eyes blazing. "This is not how you conduct a war, you, you, /double heathen/-"

He's interrupted as Boss Bawss gently grabs the Yellow Ant's head and holds him down in a sitting position, only letting go when the Formichroma sullenly stops struggling. Then, without a word, the larger ogre sticks Coreweaver blade-first into the ground, right across from the Yellow Ant.

(Cont.)

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>>24330794
"What is this, brute-beast?" the Yellow Ant chitters suspiciously, clutching the stump of its arm. "An execution? How DARE you consider the battle won when-"

"Nope," Boss Bawss rumbles, ignoring the Yellow Ant's sudden tensing-up as it anticipates another arm-ripping punch. "We're gonna have a chat."

There's a moment of baffled silence.

"But- but- this is insane! We're in the middle of a BATTLE!" the Formichroma Prophet all but wails, pointing his remaining arm at the ongoing skirmish. "What do you even want me to-"

"Nah, not to me. To da lady," Boss Bawss interrupts.

"The- what?"

In response, Boss Bawss Fistboss tilts his head at the demon sword stuck in the ground, which seems to be quivering happily at being called a lady. "Coreweaver. We had a nice long chat right before ya came, you know," he continues, completely conversationally. "An' she ain't happy with da way you're running things."

"What? But she is a horrible /god of fear/ that preyed on my- no, wait, how did you even TALK to her!?" The Yellow Ant shrieks, his eyes flicking back and forth as he tries desperately to keep up with the conversation.

"She's a demon spider, an' she's kinda lonely," Boss Bawss rumbles with all the implacability of an ongoing avalanche. "Ever since ya stopped feedin' her your sacrifices like you used to, an' started using her as a tool of fightin' instead of takin' to da temple-"

(Cont.)

>>24330772
But we sold her bones. That's what friends do, right?

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>>24330799
"Those days are over," the Yellow Ant chitters firmly. There's a ring of fascinated soldiers watching the conversation now, their heads tilting back and forth as they keep pace with whoever's talking. Around them, more soldiers continue pouring past, running to reinforce their line against the Scaratones. "We keep truck with no capricious gods! We rely on our own strength, now, and our own prophecies! We are not going back to the dark ages of meaningless sacrifices to fill her- her endless pit of a stomach!!"

Boss Bawss frowns. "Dat's not nice to talk 'bout a lady's weight like dat-"

"WHY DO YOU CALL IT A LADY!?" the Yellow Ant screams, pulling at his antennae in frustrated confusion.

Boss Bawss pauses. Looks like this's a little more complicated than he thought it would be.

[ ] [WRITE-IN!] How SHOULD Boss Bawss diplomance this situation?
[ ] [WRITE-IN!] Or should he abandon this line of diplomancing?
[ ] [WRITE-IN!] Come to think of it, Coreweaver ain't exactly talkative as a sword, is she?

>>24330794
>double heathen
Oh baby.

>>24330815
Get Coreweaver to speak up and ask her if she REALLY needs sacrifices.