Look for Heloise, I wanna see drunk sugar child. Or Jack, Jacks ok too.

>>24481783
>Look for Jack
This guy has got to be fun to drink with.

>>24481783
>Alek
Need to make sure he isn't getting the shit pummeled out of him fore being an Imp.

>>24481901
good idea

>>24481901
Seconding.

>>24481783
lets find alek

remember guys, Erik must usurp Jager as main protagonist.

>>24482024
no!

>>24482024
if that shit happens I am done with this quest

>>24482024
I like Jager!

>>24482026

why not?

>>24481783
You decide to try and track down Alek. The poor kid is probably freaking out from all of the extra attention. Unfortunately, he's proven to be rather difficult track down, especially with the massive crowd you're swimming through. The fact that, unlike the others, he's not actively drawing attention. You're not quiet sure where he is.

>roll 1d20

>>24482024
Anon your being silly stop it.

Rolled 12

>>24482049

>>24482045
He must remain confined to the sidequest until a dramatic confrontation where ideals are questioned.

Rolled 20

>>24482049

Rolled 20

>>24482049
Get your ass out here Alek.

>>24482066
YES!

>>24482066
>>24482075
Think we found him?

>>24482066
>>24482075
Wow we found the shit out of him

>>24482066
>>24482075
ok something cool is going to go down I bet

File: 1367032442318.jpg-(524 KB, 1162x850, Drow stink of turk smell.jpg)

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>>24482066
>>24482075

Sir Erik Schnee, the Phoenix Knight The arrogant badass shall usurp Jager

>>24482024
Yeah fuck your shit, you want commisar quest make your own cause we all know that's why anon's liked erik.

Rolled 10

Don't worry buddy we will find you!!

Also glad this quest is one today. It is awesome.

>>24482091
Listen man, what happened in the side quest, staays in the side quest.

>>24482066
>therewego.jpg

>>24482091
Nope

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>>24482091
we will take him prisoner and turn him to our cause!

>>24482137
Now this idea i can get behind

Rolled 6

>>24482091
Nope. Jagar is a different kind of badass then Erik. More subtle in a way.

>>24482137

>Phoenix Knight
>taken prisoner

you would have to kill him first

>>24482137
You forget that Jager is an imp hater.

>>24482066
>>24482075
>Jesus mother of christ

Based on a hunch, you push your way through the reveling crowd, towards the back of the pub. Fortunately, nobody seems to notice you, and you easily exit through the back door into the back alley.

In the alley, you are mostly alone except for a few drunk patrons who wandered back here for some "privacy". You ignore them and see that your hunch was right. Somebody had pulled down the roof access ladder, and you can only think of a few people who'd brave the cold to stay up there.

As you climb the ladder and reach the roof, you see Alek lying on his back and looking at the stars.

>What say?

>>24482137
Agreed he shall be our right hand as the Emperor.

>>24482171
"Silent brooding protagonist type, eh?"

>>24482171
You need to drink as much alcohol as the human body can take. Let's roll.

>>24482137
>making Erik a non-playable secondary character

Jesus Christ at least have the mercy to kill the man and not reduce him to that status

>>24482180
"Silent brooding protagonist type, eh?"

and sit next to him

>>24482171
Sit down next to him.

"Nice night out isn't it. The stars are beautiful. Good job today by the way.

Penny for your thoughts."

Rolled 19

>>24482171
Sit down next to him then say. "A beautiful night sky tonight isn't it?"

>>24482171

decided not to enjoy the party?

>>24482220
I like this one.

>>24482256

I would support it without the Penny for your thoughts

>>24482180

Support given.

>>24482171
"Nice night out isn't it? I take it you're the silent brooding protagonist type, eh?" You say, sitting down next to Alek.

"W-what?" Alek sits up, surprised. Clearly, despite being a sniper, he doesn't seem to have very good situational awareness. "I-I don't think I'm any sort of hero, sir."

"Is something wrong?"

"I didn't do anything useful that fight." Alek frowns, clearly troubled at the thought. "I couldn't even hit that guy or anything for that matter. You guys are the real heroes, you deserve all the attention."

He sighs and tilts his head upwards back at the stars. "I think it's better for everyone if I just stay out of the way."

>What say?

>>24482328
Slap him on the back. "Oh please, quit being so dramatic and come drink unhealthy amounts of bad liquor with me."

>>24482328
Yep. You should stay out of the way. Because that's a snipers job, to stay hidden and cover our backs. You did a fine job today and I don't want to hear any more bellyaching.

>>24482328
You missed a couple of shots is your first battle with an unfamiliar squad, against your own countrymen. Those aren't the easiest circumstances to fight in.

>>24482328

" You think you are the only one to ever fall short of being useful? I lost everything my family owned and every thing I loved. Did I get revenge, do my duty? No, I sat on my ass the entire war. Next to me, you're a goddamned superhuman, Alek. And a good soldier besides."

>>24482328
You did just fine i wouldn't have hired you if you couldn't pull your weight.

Rolled 3

>>24482328
"We need you as much as we need everyone else in this squad. Don't let it bother you today your not used to this squad and Even the best has days where things don't go perfectly as planned. I would trust you with my back any time."

>>24482328
Flick him on the forehead.

"I want you to repeat this after me.

Today was a good day. We fulfilled all the mission objectives and then some while suffering no casualties or taking any injuries. I should be happy. Got it.

Alek, don't be so down on yourself, today's mission involved assaulting a cottage, chasing a car with a tank, and then assaulting a submarine. You didn't hit someone who was swimming and trying to hold onto a rocking submarine, it wasn't a good shot. Sometimes people's skillsets aren't meant for a particular mission, just like some missions tanks won't be useful or me running up to people and shooting them in the face isn't an option.

You lived through today so there's always tomorrow, and I guarantee there'll be a day that your actions will turn the tide of battle. I trust you, I know that you're good, I wouldn't have hired you if you weren't good at your job.

Now you have two choices, having me send drinks up here so you get happily drunk, or forcing you to come down and party with the rest of us."

>>24482354
I'm gonna go with this, short and simple.

Give the man a hug

>>24482354
Sounds good to me. Though we should probably throw in some kind of encouragement.

File: 1367034391261.gif-(534 KB, 320x240, gibbs slap.gif)

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>>24482328
You smack Alek on the back of the head. Not hard enough to hurt him, of course, but definitely with enough force to grab his attention.

"I want you to repeat this after me.

Today was a good day. We fulfilled all the mission objectives and then some while suffering no casualties or taking any injuries. I should be happy. Got it.

Alek, don't be so down on yourself, today's mission involved assaulting a cottage, chasing a car with a tank, and then assaulting a submarine. You didn't hit someone who was swimming and trying to hold onto a rocking submarine, it wasn't a good shot. Sometimes people's skillsets aren't meant for a particular mission, just like some missions tanks won't be useful or me running up to people and shooting them in the face isn't an option.

You lived through today so there's always tomorrow, and I guarantee there'll be a day that your actions will turn the tide of battle. I trust you, I know that you're good, I wouldn't have hired you if you weren't good at your job.

Now you have two choices, having me send drinks up here so you get happily drunk, or forcing you to come down and party with the rest of us."

Alek is at a loss at what to say. His mouth opens and closes several times like a fish, but no words come out.

>Wait for a bit. Let the speech sink in.
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.
>Other

>>24482580

>Fuck it, just kidnap him.

JAGER STURMFUHRER parties as hard as he fights.

>>24482580

>Wait for a bit. Let the speech sink in.

>>24482580
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.
Because we are the best commander.

>>24482580
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.

No time for explanations. The booze awaits.

>>24482580
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.

"TIMES UP!"

>>24482580
Excellent, we pulled off a Gibbs slap.

Stare him right in the eye, if he doesn't snap out of it within 5 seconds pick him up, kidnap him, and take him down to the bar.

>>24482580
Place arm around shoulder and just say "Come one lets go drink then to our first mission together."

>>24482580
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.
Rule number 5: You don't waste good. And he's good.

Kidnap. And try to find him a nice girl to sit on his lap.

>>24482689

If he passes out we throw him in the room with Sam.

>>24482703
Are we going to keep stockpiling drunken squad members in the room?

>>24482703
This then we threaten him about touching women who we consider our little sister.

>>24482715

Personally, I do not see a possible negative to this course of action.

>>24482718

Patrician detected.

>>24482703
>The whole squad wakes up in our room in a pile, not remembering what happened.
How do you accidentally an orgy?

>>24482740
And we're sitting nearby watching their mutual confusion while sipping a cup of coffee and trying to stifle laughter.

>>24482750

Change the coffee to a morning glass of brandy and sure.

>>24482580
You count to five to see if Alek would get the point. However, he's still stunned by your little speech so you decide at that point it was best to stop wasting time.

"Well, Alek, it's time for you to have fun and get drunk. And you are going to ENJOY it." You say, wrapping your arm around Alek's neck and locking it in place.

"I-I think I'm much rather stay up-"

"SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW MUCH FUN WE'RE HAVING." You drag Alek to the edge of the roof and motion him to climb down the ladder, giving him your best "if you try to run I will hunt you down" expression.

Still keeping your grip on Alek, you forcefully drag him into the pub, where you stand up on the bar and yell, "ATTENTION EVERYONE! This here is Alek, the best damn sniper on my squad, and he says he can outdrink every one of you posers!"

A mighty roar roar fills the pub as the Albionese respond to theirmanhood being challenged. You grab a large mug of beer from the bar and shove it into Alek's hand.

"DRINK." You command.

>roll 1d20

>>24482750
Casually comment "Man, I've never seen someone use their tongue like that." Whilst reading the morning paper.

Rolled 15

>>24482771

Rolled 7, 7, 17, 18 = 49

>>24482771
GO GO DRINK!

Rolled 12

>>24482771
Chug, chug, chug!

Rolled 6

>>24482765
>drinking before noon
No. Just no.
>>24482771

Rolled 19

>>24482750
>>24482765
Compromise, it's an Irish coffee.

>>24482771
Dice for the dice gods.

>>24482790

> Not drinking before noon

What are you, Mormon?

>>24482795

Deal.

Rolled 9

>>24482788
FUCK SHIT PISS!

Rolled 19

>>24482785
....

Rolled 8

>>24482771
Rolling, and hoping he gets drunk enough to give some really good drunken rants

>>24482805
Damn, looks like Alek couldn't hold his liquor.

>>24482771
After several rounds, you have to tap out. Alek is surprisingly resilient to alcohol, but now that he's completely hammered, he seems to have completely forgotten how shy and introverted he was. At least for now.

With your head and vision starting to spin, you think you're only good for one more round before you pass out.

>Who do you see next?

>>24482832

Let's drunkenly command Ramirez to do things, should be fun.

Rolled 16

>>24482832
Talk to Heliose.

Yes that is a drunk mispronunciation of a name.

>>24482853

Sheliothz?

>>24482853
This for the lolz

>>24482832
Heloise.

>>24482853
>Not Hello-see

>>24482580
>Fuck it, just kidnap him.
Are... are we Gibbs now? Cause' that would be awesome.

>>24482863
"Helios the light-bringer. How 'bout a drink?"

>>24482882

I dont think Gibbs has ever been as loud as Jager generally is.

>>24482832
Heloise

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>>24482832
You stumble around, looking for your engineer. However, she's actually not hard to find, as she's actually usurped one of the bartenders and is actually serving cocktails.

"Oh! Captain! Whatsup?" She asks, her head bobbing, lollipop rolling around in her mouth. Yeah realize that makes her look way younger than she should be.

"H-hey! Heloise. Heliose? Hellsee? Sheliothz?" You slur, jumbling up the letters as you try to say them.

>What say?

Hug her in your drunken antics

>>24482971
"Gimme your most homosexual cock...tail."

>>24482971
"Where'd yah hide the sun?"

>>24482971
Gimme a drink. And why did you join up with us?

Hey, since were drunk, can we climb in bed next to Sam just to freak her out?

>>24483018
Assuming you can actually make it back to base unassisted.

>>24482971
"You know.....I can't feel my liver...where is it at?"

>>24482971
"I need a drink, you wonderful wonderful, person. Something with pizazz! Pizazz I tell you."

Give her a hug. "You are a beautiful woman in a tank, you truly are. Why did you join up with us anyways?"

>>24483029
>You are a beautiful woman in a tank, you truly are.

I was about to point out that Heloise is the engineer, not the tanker, but I realized Jager would be too drunk at this point to know the difference.

>>24483029
That's Julia, not Heloise. Heliise is the engineering/medic.

>>24483029

I support this given light of >>24483063

>>24483063
I blame sympathetic drunkenness on getting names mixed up like that.

Guy who wrote Alek here, so because I'm OCD, I've decided to rewrite part of his character sheet because there were some bits I wasn't really satisfied with. Hope it's acceptable.

Name: Aleksandr Petrovich
Gender: Male
Class: Sniper
Personality: Quiet and a loner by nature, he prefers to stay out of the way away from everyone else. Not fond of Imperials.
Background: Born as a bastard son of a prominent noble house in the frozen eastern reaches of the Alliance, Aleksandr was orphaned at an early age, and what little inheritance he received was barely enough to go by. Eventually moving to Gallia to try and escape his origins, he had his hard-earned livelihood destroyed in the Second Europan War, forcing him to seek a living as a soldier. He is highly resourceful as a result of his difficult past, but has little experience at interacting with others because of his nature.

>>24482971
"I need a drink, you wonderful wonderful, person. Something with pizazz! Pizazz I tell you."

"Um, by pizazz, I assume you mean sugar, which is fine by me!" Heloise mixes a few oddly colored liquids you can't quite recognize anymore and serves it to you. You take a cautious taste, and as Heloise had said, it is sickeningly sweet. Figuring what the hell, you down the whole glass in one gulp.

Hoped up on a combination of alcohol and sugar, you lean across the bar and lock Heloise in a very sloppy hug. "You are a beautiful woman in a tank, you truly are. Why did you join up with us anyways?"

Heloise is about to correct you and point out Julia is the driver, but realizes you're way too drunk to really notice the difference.

"It's... actually kinda embarrassing." Heloise shuffles nervously. "You gotta promise not to tell anybody!"

"...and you can stop hugging me now." She adds.

>Respect her privacy and drop the issue.
>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!
>Other

>>24483198
Stop hugging her and look sad.

"I won't tell anyone, I can keep secrets.

And this is assuming I even remember in the morning."

>>24483198
>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!
>You can stop hugging me now
"Nah nah, it's fine. I don't mind."

Lift her up and attempt to drunkenly find Alek and bring the two back to your quarters

>>24483198
>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!

You can thrustz me, Ima JAGER STURMFUHRER, hahahick.

>>24483198
>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!

We won't forget. Jager is one of those drunks that can recollect the previous night with crystal clarity. Every single detail.

>>24483198
"Pro..mise"

Stop hugging her but fall back slightly before catching self. While saying "Why are you backing up for?"

>>24483240
Yeah, but SHE doesn't need to know that.

>>24483198
>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!
If we do remember we can keep it quiet.

>>24483198
>>You'll probably forget it by the morning anyways. Ask away!

Hick!

>>24483198
"Well, you seeeee." You slur a bit before chasing down Heloise's sweetened cocktail with a fresh beer. "Chances are I'm not really going to remember what happened thish night, so lets taaaaaalk!"

"O-okay." Heloise looks side to side to make sure there isn't anybody nearby. She then takes a deep breath before speaking.

"IjoinedupbecauseIwantedtofindaboyfriend!" She yells, her face getting redder after ever letter she speaks.

>Whoa, slow down there. You should like, calm down, girl.
>Is that it?
>Other

>>24483397

> other

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

*passes out*

Rolled 3

>>24483397
is that it?

>>24483397
> Other: Freeze and stare.

Because this is hilarious.

Seriously, she joined up with a mercenary outfit where she has a very real chance of getting killed to find a boyfriend?

>>24483406
All my support.
All of it.

>>24483406
Muahaha, yes.

>>24483406
I support this action.

>>24483406
Thirded. Violently thirded.

>>24483406
This so much this.

>>24483397
"Huh, nhice girl like you should be able to find a good, good, good guy anywhere. Jusht takes some confidence. No need to join with crazy mercs.

Thatsh how I found my girl way back when, confidence, then she dumped me by setting my house on fire. So don't take advice from me."

>>24483406
This is a great plan. I'm excited to be a part of it!

>>24483406
The only option.

>>24483406
No alternative.

>>24483406

Before doing the above pause for a moment and just stare for about five seconds.

>>24483406
I like this.

Followed by this: >>24483473 before passing out.

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>>24483397
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" You start laughing uncontrollably. It was just so... so ABSURD.

And then your copious alcohol consumption catches up with you and you fall face first onto the bar.

----

>Jager...

>Jager.....!

>I SEE YOU, JAGER!

---

"GAH!" You wake up in a cold sweat. Looking around, you see you're back in the hotel. You're not certain what time it is, but it's definitely still dark. As your eyes adjust you can see most of your squad didn't even make it to their bunks. They're all just sprawled in a pile at the foot of yours, most snoring rather loudly.

"You're up early, sir." Tarin says, handing you a glass of water.

"How long was I out?" You ask, trying to shoo away the headsplitting pain in your skull.

"About three hours." Tarin shrugs. "It's not even daylight yet, but it's close."

"Mmmbrkgl." You grumble as you down the glass.

>Still feel like shit. Let's sleep it off.
>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.
>Lets go meet Lynch.
>Other

Rolled 14

>>24483722
BALLS!
>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.

food. now!

>>24483722
>>Lets go meet Lynch.

>>24483722
>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.

>>24483722
>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.
We're in Albion, time for a traditional Albionese fry-up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_breakfast#Full_English_breakfast

>>24483722

>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.

JAGER needs STURMFUEL

>>24483722
oh fuck, not going back to sleep after that. We are the Jager, we can survive on three hours of sleep. let's go to breakfast.||

>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.

Tempted to have him forget he dropped Samantha in his room and then pass out on his bed.

>>24483722
>Still feel like shit. Let's sleep it off.
Double down, roll over and cuddle Sam. COMMIT TO THE JOKE.

>>24483722
>>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.

Merc, did you see my rewrite?

>>24483769
oh balls to sleeping ever!

>author karlia

>>24483791
Yeah, I'll add that to the pastebin afterwards.

>>24483824
Ah good, thank you.

Sorry for any trouble I might've caused.

>>24483722
>Maybe some breakfast will help make you not feel like shit.
It's FOOD time.

>>24483194
I like how no sooner I asked about this I realised that there is something I forgot to put in.

Name: Aleksandr Petrovich
Gender: Male
Class: Sniper
Personality: Quiet and a loner by nature, he prefers to stay out of the way away from everyone else. Maintains a cool demeanor within battle, though he can be lured into an icy rage if pushed. Not fond of Imperials.
Background: Born as a bastard son of a prominent noble house in the frozen eastern reaches of the Alliance, Aleksandr was orphaned at an early age, and what little inheritance he received was barely enough to go by. Eventually moving to Gallia to try and escape his origins, he had his hard-earned livelihood destroyed in the Second Europan War, forcing him to seek a living as a soldier. He is highly resourceful as a result of his difficult past, but has little experience at interacting with others because of his nature.

File: 1367041167738.jpg-(227 KB, 500x375, full english breakfast.jpg)

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>>24483722
"Tarin, have you eaten breakfast yet?"

"No sir." She shakes her head.

"Well, I am STARVING. Let's go see what they consider for breakfast here. That's an order." You get and stretch to try and get rid of all of those new sores you picked up sleeping on the floor.

Due to the hour, there's not very many people down in the kitchen besides the occasional off duty sentry. However, it's close enough to morning that the cooks have already gotten started preparing breakfast, which means you get first pick. And since you're hungry and starving, you abuse the FUCK out of the opportunity. You stack your plate with as much bacon, sausage, eggs, and hash browns you can possibly cram onto it. Tarin takes her own share, but your pile very clearly dwarfs yours.

"Sir, are you sure-"

"Table manners, Tarin. No talking to a man eating his breakfast." You say before spearing a big juicy sausage with your fork.

You start wolfing down your breakfast, your all nighter fueling your voracious appetite. Across from you, Tarin picks up a freshly delivered newspaper and starts browsing through it casually. You manage to pull your eyes away from your breakfast long enough to see your squad standing on the front page.

Suddenly, the silence is broken by a very loud, very girly, very Sam-like scream.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.
>So, anything interesting in the news?
>Continue eating breakfast.
>Other

>>24484020
>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.
And so the lolz begin.

>>24484020
>>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.

When we see her say. "Oh your up was just getting breakfast."

File: 1367041326810.jpg-(23 KB, 350x292, I'm Just Here For Th(...).jpg)

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>>24484020
>So, anything interesting in the news?
Let the lulz come to us.

>wait a minute
And so it begins

>>24484020
>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.
Gotta make sure to call her "Hun".

>>24484020
>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.

We need to act surprised as fuck.

>>24484020
Get a cup of coffee waiting for her, put on our best shit-eating grin, and set aside a portion of breakfast for Sam and act like we were just about to bring her breakfast in bed.

>>24484020
Oh! Oh! Snag a second plate of food for her.

>>24484020
>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.

>>24484020
>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.

>>24484020
>>Just a minute. I gotta go see this.

Eheheheheh.

>>24484020
>Read about the breakfast
>my stomach demands it's own breakfast
Damn it OP, i'm hungry now

>>24484020
No matter what we do we have to use the fact with have breakfast to screw with her head.

Guys, bring the sausage with us. Then gesticulate with it while we talk

>>24484020
"Just a minute, I gotta go see this." You grin.

Tarin sighs and shakes her head. "I'll save you two a spot."

You quickly scoop what's left of your breakfast into your mouth and grab a second plate, piling a little bit of everything on it. Normally you wouldn't go through the trouble, but this is a necessary ritual for your survival.

Returning to your bunk, you see that fortunately, nobody else seem to be awake despite Sam's ear piercing scream. Sam herself is sitting up in your bed, hiding under your blanket out of embarrassment.

"Good morning, dear!" You say trying to stifle your laughter. "Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"CAAAAAAAAAP!!" Sam squeals. "D-did we..."

"I'm afraid so, Sam." You say solemnly. Her face looks crestfallen. "I'm afraid I held hands with you during the night."

It takes a second for Sam to realize that she's just been pranked. A fear and surprise suddenly turns to a murderface.

"Sam, before you kill me, I'd just like to let you know that I brought breakfast."

Sam glares at you, and then at the plate full of steaming hot breakfast goods.

"You win this time, Cap." She scowls, taking the plate."I'll get you back for this. Oh, just you wait..."

>Lets go back downstairs. Tarin's waiting.
>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.
>Other

File: 1367043134567.gif-(2.26 MB, 500x281, I'M GONNA KILL YOU.gif)

2.26 MB GIF

>>24484369
Forgot my pic.

>>24484369
>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.

>>24484369
>Lets go back downstairs. Tarin's waiting.
if the others miss out too bad, teach them to not get too drunk

>>24484369
>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.
Put the boots to them, medium style.

>>24484369
>Lets go back downstairs. Tarin's waiting.

>>24484369
"I wait with bated breath for your plans, I'm sure they'll be absolutely adorable, I mean devious, yes that's it, not adorable."

Then
>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.

Don't want them to miss breakfast.

>>24484369
>>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.

We're supposed to be responsible weren't we?

>>24484369
>>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.

Also, Heloise.

I totally want to see her reaction to us.

>>24484369
>Lets wake everyone else up before breakfast is gone.

Man, if being an A-grade Merc doesn't work out for us, I think we have a future in comedy, haha.

>>24484495
why not both!

>>24484369
"I wait with bated breath for your plans, I'm sure they'll be absolutely adorable, I mean devious, yes that's it, not adorable." You smirk.

"S-shut up!" Sam stammers, still flustered over the whole thing.

"I suppose we should wake up this sorry lot here." You sigh, looking at the rest of your sleeping squad. A few well placed kicks and some barked orders is enough to get them up and moving, albeit very reluctantly. Fortunately, it should still be early enough that they'd be able to beat the morning rush.

>Let's go get some more breakfast.
>Nah, I'm full. Better see what Lynch wanted to talk about.
>Other

>>24484571

I was under the impression Jager was half comic, who the hell else shouts out their name to their foes?

>>24484589
>Nah, I'm full. Better see what Lynch wanted to talk about.

Fun times over, let's go get hung out to dry by amoral intelligence officers.

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>>24484589
MORE FOOD
WE WILL BE LIKE BIG BOSS

>>24484589
>Nah, I'm full. Better see what Lynch wanted to talk about.

Get another cup of coffee, we should probably bring some people with us as well, Sam because she deals with the stuff we don't want to deal with, and maybe Tarin in case things get dicey.

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>>24484589
>Let's go get some more breakfast.

>>24484609

* Irish Coffee

I picture Jager as a hair of the dog kind of guy.

>>24484590
He is a little of both yeah. I kind of think his screaming is more to terrorize foes though. A guy screaming his name at you while surrounded by a squad of gunmen and holding a heavy machine gun would be a little terrifying.

>Nah, I'm full. Better see what Lynch wanted to talk about.

>>24484628
>holding a heavy machine gun
Oh please, we're a Sturmtruppen, we carry a Schmeisser, the most terrifying sewing machine you will ever hear. Maybe later we'll upgrade to a Sturmgewehr, but for now...

>>24484628

There was that one time he gunned down several men, threw aside his SMG, and fist fought his fiancee.

God, I am so glad I rolled three 19s for that.

>>24484615
Second.

Grab an Irish Coffee and then go and see what Lynch wanted to talk about

>>24484654
So am I.

>>24484589
As your squad files down to the kitchen, you bring out the card that Lynch had handed you the day earlier. The hotel concierge is more than glad to point out directions to the address, though he warns that there really isn't any landmark of note out there. You thank him for his services and return to the kitchen. Considering this is a professional spy that you're dealing with, you decide to bring some backup with you. Seeing as how Sam and Tarin have already eaten, they're your first two choices to accompany you.

"So, this Lynch guy. You think we can trust him?" Sam asks as the three of you make your way to the rendezvous.

"Sam, when has it ever been safe to trust a spy of any kind?" You say.

"Point."

"How about your opinion?" You ask Tarin.

"I've seen his type before. Everything's a pawn or asset to him. No sense of sentimentality whatsoever." Tarin says simply. "A lot of Darcsen hunters that are like that too."

"Well that's encouraging."

As you near the meeting place, you you don't see anything particularly spectacular about it. It just seems to be any regular old office building.

>Knock on the door. Maybe he's inside.
>Wait around for a bit and see what happens.
>Other

>>24484853

"I suspect he is around here somewhere..." Then head to the door.

>>24484853

>Knock on the door. Maybe he's inside.

"Lynch! JAGER STURMFUHRER is here to see you!"

Not because we're stupid, but because fuck this psuedo-spy bullshit.

>>24484853
>Knock on the door. Maybe he's inside.

Knock on the door while standing off to the side, just in case someone shoots through it.

>>24484853
>Knock on the door. Maybe he's inside.
Lynch if you don't open this door I will build a tank out of random bits of scrap lying around out here and smash the door down, see if I don't!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyz_2DEah4o

>>24484853
Honestly, it's too damn early in the morning for you deal with all this cloak and dagger shit, so you decide to cut straight to the chase and start knocking on the door.

"Hey! Lynch! It's Jager Sturmfuhrer! Let us in already!"

There's a brief pause until the door opens. On the other side is a massive and rather gruff looking sentry. Even though he's wearing civilian clothes. it's plainly obvious that he's military.

"The Colonel has been expecting you." He says simply, standing aside to let you through. The sentry then sticks a specially made key into what looks like a solid wall. A loud clicking sound is heard, and a hidden panel in the door swings open.

"That's pretty neat." Sam whistles.

"Already knew it was there." Tarin claims.

You are led down a series of tunnels until you reach an underground chamber filled with desks and office workers milling about. In the center is a huge map of Europa, where clerks were busy setting down and moving around pieces simulating troop movements and positions for both Federation and Imperial forces. You wryly note that Gallia's force disposition is included on the map as well.

You are led to the other end of the chamber, where you see a simple unmarked door. The sentry marches up to it and stops.

"You two may enter." He says, motioning to you and Sam. He then points to Tarin. "SHE stays out here."

"Don't worry sir, I'm used to it." Tarin says.

>She goes with me. Deal with it.
>Keep an eye on these guys for us then, Tarin.
>Other

>>24485130
>>She goes with me. Deal with it.

Our squadron member asshole.

>>24485130
>>She goes with me. Deal with it.
Never leave a soldier behind.

>>24485130
>She goes with me. Deal with it.
"Racism never solved anything, YOU FILTHY SUBHUMAN ALBIONAN SWINE!"

>>24485130

" She goes in, or you can get the fuck out. I'll let you make the decision."

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>>24485154
While this is funny I'd rather not get punched in the face before the meeting.

Just a question, what animu is the OP image from?

>>24485130
>>Keep an eye on these guys for us then, Tarin.

>>24485197
Not an anime, a game. Valkyria Chronicles. Go check it out.

>>24485130
>She goes with me. Deal with it.
>>24485197
Really? You really can't guess, based on the subject matter of the Quest?

>>24485215

It's also an anime, actually. Just not a terribly good one.

>>24485197
Valkyria Chronicles.

>>24485215
There is an anime, but it wasn't very good according to most people. I did like the OVA for the third game.

>>24485220
I-i searched for Valkyrian Mercs and it just gave me /tg/ results...

>>24485222
I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the anime.

>>24485270
Is it really on the same level of badness as season 2 of Darker Than Black, or the Tsukihime anime?

>>24485130
"Tarin comes with me whether you like it or not. Deal with it." You say, glaring at the sentry.

The sentry glares back.

>roll 1d20

>>24485289
Not really. On its own, it's merely utterly mediocre. If you've actually played the games though, it's a goddamn tragedy.

Rolled 20

>>24485293
STARE OFF!

Rolled 14

>>24485293

Rolled 18

>>24485293

Rolled 7

>>24485293
Time to see where this is going

Rolled 1

>>24485293
Engage the Sturmfuhrer Sturmglare (tm).

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>>24485305

Rejoice!

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>>24485305

>>24485305
The dice gods smile upon us!

>>24485305
THE ART OF INTIMIDATING GLARES HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE STURMFUHRER LINE FOR GENERATIONS!

>>24485317
...Ouch

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>>24485305
>Jesus, the /tg/ dice are truly with you in this thread.

You both stare each other down for what seems like an eternity, but neither of you are willing to back off. Finally, something finally breaks and the sentry loses his nerve.

"Fine. Do what you want." He scowls before sulking away.

"Man, I wonder what the hell his problem is." Sam frowns, making a face at the sentry as he walks away.

"T-thanks, sir." Tarin says, her cheeks reddening slightly. "Nobody's really stood up for me like that before."

>What say?

>>24485411

"Such is the fate of all under the command of JAGER STURMFUHRER. And you're welcome, Tarin."

>>24485411
"You're a Demon Tarin, and we don't leave anyone behind."

>>24485411
"I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some spook's pet dogface treat one of my people like that."

>>24485411
"I watch out for my own, don't mention it."

>>24485435
Is it bad that i can only hear JAGER STURMFUHRER said in the voice of brian blessed?
Like the rest of the sentence is normal but every time his name comes up suddenly its brian.

>>24485473
>thinking anything involving the voice of BRIAN BLESSED can be bad
HA!
Jager's alive!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyFF-jxf7mo

>>24485473

Really? Cause it's Schwarzenegger for me.

>>24485489
And now we need to find an excuse to tell someone to place a cookie back in the place where they found it.

>>24485411

"Don't mention it. After all your one of my squad mates."

>>24485411
We look after our own.

>>24485411
"You're a Demon, Tarin. We all look out for each other." You say. "I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some spook's pet dogface treat one of my people like that."

"Still, thank you. It really means a lot to me."

You see Sam eying the both of you rather suspiciously. No doubt she's wondering if there's any subtext to this exchange.

"Okay, let's get this over with." You say, opening the door.

You have to say, though, Lynch's office wasn't exactly what you were expecting. Whereas most officers seemed to love decorating their offices with medals, decorations, paintings, and generally any sort of memento that displayed their past triumphs, Lynch's office was awfully bare and spartan. There was nothing on the walls. Not a single frame or picture. The only furniture in the room was a single desk with a few chairs, and the desk itself was free of clutter save for a few papers. It was as if Lynch really was a machine.

"Ah, Captain Sturmfuhrer, it's nice of you to come." Lynch says, not even standing up from his desk. "Please, take a seat. This will not take long."

As you, Sam, and Tarin sit down, Lynch slides a folder toward you.

"I have to say, you have exceeded my expectations. Not only have you dismantled the spy ring, you managed to take their ringleader alive as well as steal an intact Imperial u-boat. These are certainly interesting times.

"So is there a point to all of this?" You ask.

"You fail to understand the significance of your actions." Lynch responds. "The spy ring you dismantled were stealing weapons and smuggling them out of the country."

"Why would they do something like that?" Sam asks. "It's not like the Empire has a weapon shortage."

"No, but thanks to those spies, Albion is in the midst of one. Those weapons were supposed to be for the Home Guard. However, spies have been intercepting shipments, putting them on freighters, and sending them out to be sunk. That's why there was a u-boat so close to Albionese waters."

(cont)

>>24485411
Shake your head. "A company cannot survive if its' troops do not look out for each other, I am doing what is expected of any commander."

>>24485678
>any subtext to this exchange
So I take it Sam doesn't know that we haven't given up on our Göttin des Kampfes.

>>24485678
"However, going through the documents we managed to recover, there's inconsistencies. Weapons that were siphoned off but never put on the freighters. I believe that the spies have set up several weapon caches to use when the Empire lands forces on Albion."

You note that Lynch uses the word "when" instead of "if" in regards to Imperial invasion.

"Your next mission will be to hunt down one of these caches. The mission details will be sent to you shortly, as well as your payment for the previous day's events."

"Wait, you didn't call us all the way out here just to tell us that, did you?" You raise an eyebrow.

"Very sharp. Yes there's also the matter of the u-boat you captured. We both know you lack the resources and facilities to properly repair and maintain it, nor do you have the manpower to crew it. I have a proposition for you."

>Sorry, not interested.
>Go on...
>Other

>>24485725

" If you want to keep", I'll have you know I have long dreamed of personal ownership of a long, hard tube filled with sea men."

>>24485725
>Go on...

>>24485725
Go on...

>>24485725
>Go on...

Might as well hear the guy out ...

Go on

>>24485725
"Okay, I'm listening." You say.

"You have an absolutely unique find, Captain." Lynch shuffles several papers. "You are the first and only person to capture an Imperial u-boat intact. Inside that craft is a wealth of information. User manuals, technical specifications, ciphers, code books, and more. Here is my offer. The Albion Intelligence Service will be willing to pay all associated costs of the u-boat, as well as provide a crew, if you agree to let us thoroughly analyze the craft and its contents. Of course, you're free to try and find a way to fix it yourself, or sell it off at whatever bargain rate the government is willing to buy it for. It's your choice."

>It sounds like a deal.
>Wait, this sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?
>Other

>Wait, this sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?

"And the catch is?"

>>24485874
>Wait, this sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?

" Lynch, this offer stinks worse than my servants quarters did when it was on fire."

>>24485874
>What's the catch?

>>24485874
>Wait, this sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?
"I'm still waiting for the bad news."

>>24483953
> lured

Replace that with 'provoked'.

>>24485926
Also, "lured" is in the personality section.

>>24485874
"Okay, seriously, what's the catch here." You respond bluntly.

"The only catch is that we won't be obligated to share anything we find with you. Any intelligence we glean from the u-boat will belong to us." Lynch says.

"It seems like a good deal." Sam says as she mulls it over. "Otherwise what else are we going to do with the thing?"

"I should also point out that since you still maintain ownership of the u-boat, you may cancel this deal and repossess the u-boat at any time you wish." Lynch adds.

>Okay, you got a deal.
>Sorry I think I'll pass.
>Other

>>24486001
>Okay, you got a deal.

I get the feeling this is going to blow up on us, possibly literally, but the deal as presented is good.

>>24486001
Sell it. We're a ground force, damn it. What the hell would we do with a u-boat if we ever went deeper inland?

>>24486001
This is a fucking amazing deal, take it.

>>24486001
"Hm. Sounds good, but inform me should you find anything about the Belkan Knights that invaded Gallia. Personal grudge. Add this and you have yourself a deal."

>>24486001
Take the deal.

>>24486001
> Okay, you got a deal.

>>24486001
Take the deal, but ask that we be allowed to pick out the crew.

>>24486027
Second this.

>>24486001
>Okay, you got a deal.

>>24486001
whats the bet that if we take the deal theres intel on karla that we wont get

>>24486027
thirding this

>>24486001
> Okay, you got a deal.

>>24486001
[X] I'll get back to you on this.
Go through the intel quickly and see if we get anything of interest before agreeing.

>>24486001
>>Okay, you got a deal.

>>24486132
Yeah, totally this. We aren't going to understand the codes or the user manuals, but we still might find something of interest there.

>>24486132
...Thats subverting the deal, Lynch isnt a moron.

>>24486090
You know that's what is going to happen.

Even if we go with >>24486027 Lynch is going to be type prick to use that against us. Always danging something in front of us to keep us working for him or some bullshit like that.

>>24486001
"Okay, you got a deal." You say, shaking Lynch's hand. "Though, if you find anything pertaining to the Belkan Knights, I'd really appreciate it if you'd share it with me. It's a bit of a personal matter for me."

"I'll see what I can do." Lynch nods, his expressionless face still unchanging. "Processing of the u-boat will take a few days, and repairs may take even longer. However, I'm sure it will be ready by the time you return from your next mission."

As you leave Lynch office, Sam finally lets out her excitement. "Holy crap we're gonna get a working u-boat!"

"It is rather impressive." Tarin agrees.

"Hey, a u-boat counts as a ship, right? Means we gotta give her a name or something!" Sam points out.

"That's true." You nod. "Let's go tell the others. Maybe they can come up with something good."

MISSION 1 COMPLETE
REWARD: 2000 CREDITS, 10 XP
LOOT: IMPERIAL U-BOAT
COSTS: -1250 CREDITS

TREASURY: 750 CREDITS

>And that's it for tonight! Come back Sat night 7-8 PST for the next installment!
>As always, the thread is open for questions, as well as coming up with a name for the u-boat.

>>24486001
> Okay, you got a deal.

>>24486175
At no point in the deal did he say we would not be allowed to look at the documents. Moot point now though.

>>24486192
I propose the 'DRS Revengeance' as our ship name.

>>24486235
I'd be willing to back this, though I prefer just Vengeance.

>>24486001
Okay, you got a deal, but I'd like one of my people to be looking over the intel with your people. That way we can get the intel we need, without having to make a fuss about the chain of command. The things you look for and the things we look for will probably be two completely different things anyway.

>>24486271
Eh, Revengeance was a joke anyway. Vengeance is good with me.

>>24485320
Source.

Now.

>>24486317
Vergeltung.

We are Jager Sturmfuhrer, after all.

Anybody else wanna hook Heloise up with Alek?

>>24488141
never thought of it previously but, sure, why not

>>24486347

I like this name