>hard mode
Worldwake packs
>Impossible mode
Unopened Alpha/Beta packs

The packs were carefully opened to appear unopened. But there are no cards inside.

>host a draft
>three packs of Fallen Empires

Break into sleeping mans house
Place dragon dildo beside him and leave

>>24497248
"you know what you must do"

break into a fatbeards house

rearrange his miniatures so they are out of formation and rub cheeto dust all over his books and character sheets

>>24497291
he would never notice

>>24497318

then get a drink drink some of it and place it on his table

without a coaster

Then grab his magic cards and proceed to bend the edges

Break into a sleeping man's house.

Leave a briefcase containing $20,000 in counterfeit money, a photo of someone in your town, and a note saying he has 24 hours to do the job.

break into a house with sleeping children
leave random toys under vegetation in the main living area
>hard mode
don't use a door or window

>>24497343
>without a coaster
fucking kill yourself

Print and cut out hundreds of 2" paper squares of the Emperor's face

Hide them all over someone's house

>>24497343
You could spend your entire life becoming a master of medicine for the sole purpose of raping small children and turning them into quadruple-amputees at the same time, and you'd still never even get to experience a trillionth of this level of evil.

>>24497560
There's worse.
Like breaking into a woman's house, drugging her drink, and then when she's asleep on the couch... stealing the coaster from beneath the glass.

File: 1367106648218.jpg-(19 KB, 741x308, 1323129813362.jpg)

19 KB JPG

>>24497643
I envy the safe, sane people that can sleep soundly at night, free from the idea of these horrors.

>>24497643
You are a monster. Death is too good for you.

File: 1367106907314.png-(260 KB, 874x892, 1356722620939.png)

260 KB PNG

>>24497343
>>24497643

That's it, I'm done. Goodnight everyone except these two degenerates.

>>24497643
I came here to get away from the horrors of b/.
It seems only the dead can know peace from the evil on this site.

>>24497371
Wow. That's something else.

>>24497686
>>24497694
>>24497756
>>24497796

Evil only succeeds when good men do nothing, you know what we must do, we must suit up, grab some coasters, and spent the rest of our lives also silently breaking into peoples home and re-coastering their beverages.

File: 1367107591341.png-(212 KB, 361x361, No penalties to age category.png)

212 KB PNG

>>24497421
The Druid works too.

File: 1367107822898.jpg-(95 KB, 500x600, 2395872936.jpg)

95 KB JPG

>>24497870

I accept this quest.

File: 1367107918717.png-(431 KB, 615x535, 1336924629725.png)

431 KB PNG

>>24497870
You are beautiful, anon. You shine like a beacon in the greasy abyss that our world has become. I had gazed upon the condensation pouring forth from the mouths of demons, and lost hope. But no longer.

You have my sword.

>>24497870
You have my axe.

To break down doors with of course.

>>24497870
and my axe.

>>24497973
fuck you fucker ,fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just for this ,im going to take your coasters ,rape them ,raise the children as anti Semites ,rape them ,paint them with unthinned paint ,and cover them in cheeto dust!!!

>>24497973
And my doily.

>>24497999
HA! You forgot to bend the edges!

>>24497999
Learn to use commas correctly, or no one will take you seriously.

>>24497870
And my Accordion!

File: 1367108321088.jpg-(16 KB, 255x255, 1353297982148.jpg)

16 KB JPG

>ITT: the old gods stir, the land cackles, and the sea reclaims the sky as once more the last battle between all that is good and all that is evil breaks across the multiverse

>>24497870
I will follow you to the ends of the earth my leige

File: 1367108478835.gif-(937 KB, 160x240, 986.gif)

937 KB GIF

>>24498038

I have never had any coasters at all in my house and none of the furniture is marked. What the hell is wrong with you guys?

No, no. You have to drug a man's drink, wait till he passes out, and then slide his coaster out from his drink - but leave it on the table.

>>24498088

BEGONE FOUL SABOTEUR WITH YOUR WICKED LIES.

File: 1367108580815.png-(22 KB, 213x200, 1362595248185.png)

22 KB PNG

>>24498088
>never had any coasters at all
>none of the furniture is marked

>>24498100
The joke is he's too poor to afford furniture.

>>24497999
Thou villinay has rendered you foolish.
A true servent of evil would bend the edges.

File: 1367108648904.jpg-(1.88 MB, 3264x2448, 20130427_182145[1].jpg)

1.88 MB JPG

MWAHAHAHAHA KEEP THINKING THAT YOUR COASTERS WILL STOP ME

>>24498105

No, I'm being 100% honest.

File: 1367108678491.jpg-(161 KB, 1280x1024, 1247368914354.jpg)

161 KB JPG

>>24498097
How about I drug his drink and when he falls asleep I steal the drink from beneath his coaster?

>>24498113
WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
CAN'T YOU SEE THE BLUE BACKGROUND
SPOILER THAT SHIT ATLEAST

>asked if you want a beer
>assent
>homeowner goes to get a beer
>collect every coaster on the table
>as your host comes back with a refreshing beverage for you, cut them into pieces with a tiny pair of scissors

We must break into Warhammer player's houses and remove the arms from Abbaddon.

File: 1367108813847.jpg-(261 KB, 1024x878, 1348712793894.jpg)

261 KB JPG

>>24498043
Well put old chum.
Tonight the fire's of war burn bright in our hearts.

>>24498113

AW DUDE SPOILER THAT SHIT.

File: 1367108842868.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 29 KB, 550x366)

29 KB JPG

YOU.
CANNOT.
STOP IT.

File: 1367108844771.jpg-(70 KB, 326x264, The decoastering.jpg)

70 KB JPG

>>24497870
YOU FOOLS! NO ONE CAN STOP THE DECOASTERING!!

>>24498097
Die VILLAN!

File: 1367108876828.jpg-(54 KB, 500x600, 1355683642930.jpg)

54 KB JPG

>>24498148

>>24498148
Oh dear lord.

>>24498148

ALL TABLES SHALL GAIN THE MARK ! NONE SHALL BE SPARED! GLROY FOR THE DECOASTERS! GLORY TO THE RING

>>24498148
See, the problem here is that you've got the wrong *kind* of furniture. Just don't use unvarnished wood. As long as it's decently finished and/or painted, no worries.

>remember i have one of the few fostoria glass coasters left

this went from funny to terrifying in moments

/tg/ - coasters are a big fucking deal

File: 1367109011825.jpg-(81 KB, 683x476, 1358766865420.jpg)

81 KB JPG

>>24498148

>>24498148
I want you to die a horrible and painful death

File: 1367109083926.jpg-(41 KB, 500x500, TOOLSOFEVIL.jpg)

41 KB JPG

>>24498183

YOU THINK A LITTLE VARNISH OR PAINT WILL SAVE YOU BWAHAHA

/tg/, have I ever told you that I love you stupid sons of bitches?
Because I do.
No homo. I think.

>>24498149
DEUS VULT!

>>24498189
Of course, dude
What do you think /tg/ stands for?

>>24497421
My little brother does this to fuck with me, only with a life-size cut out of Bear Gryll's head from the newspaper. He'll do stuff like replace the faces on posters around the house with Bear Grylls.
Our fridge has a little door in the front of it which folds down so you can access drinks without opening the fridge itself, and he hid Bear's face in there so when I got a drink he was staring me in the eye.

>buy a used table
>seems pretty good, but when I bring it to my house, realize it has a stain on it
>just one single stain
>every time I set down my drink I try to put it in that exact spot

File: 1367109243047.jpg-(12 KB, 350x350, I am I Don Quixote the lo(...).jpg)

12 KB JPG

>>24498183
>>24498179
>>24498149

Hear me, heathens and wizards
And serpents of sin!
All your dastardly doings are past,
For a holy endeavor is now to begin
And virtue shall triumph at last!

File: 1367109313922.jpg-(565 KB, 3264x2448, 1367108648904.jpg)

565 KB JPG

>>24498113
Thy villany has been defeated!

File: 1367109331817.jpg-(152 KB, 319x679, you have my axe.jpg)

152 KB JPG

>>24497870

What if we made a table out of coasters?

File: 1367109361162.png-(178 KB, 827x588, tabularasa.png)

178 KB PNG

break into sleeping mans house and leave a table and chair set, fully stained and varnished

>>24498241
Are those... coasters made from tables?

>>24498119
Overreacting to something mildly frowned on for the sake of humour.Though some tables will indeed get permanent circle marks if you don't use a coaster.

File: 1367109467285.jpg-(33 KB, 298x417, 1356715065821.jpg)

33 KB JPG

They will call it the End Times. Ragnarok. Armageddon. Kralizec.

And it started here.

>>24498270
Now that's just cheating.

File: 1367109495228.jpg-(12 KB, 266x189, The Mark.jpg)

12 KB JPG

>>24498241

YOU THINK A SIMPLE PIECE OF MATERIAL WILL STOP US? YOU MAY STOP ONLY ONE OF US. BUT WE ARE WITHOUT NUMBER WE SHALL WIN IN THE END

Break into a man's house, take his table and furniture, replace with stuff that looks exactly the same, but is an inch lower or higher, mix and match which is which

File: 1367109579404.gif-(415 KB, 426x309, Bailey's Panic Dance.gif)

415 KB GIF

>>Break into sleeping peoples' houses
>>Put new tables next to their current ones, made out of hundreds of coasters expertly and stylishly secured to one another

Chaotic Good.

File: 1367109708414.gif-(1.73 MB, 400x225, what has been seen.gif)

1.73 MB GIF

>>24498148

File: 1367109914194.png-(65 KB, 355x328, 1351549587285.png)

65 KB PNG

There is an image in my head of people waking up screaming as their home is overrun by murderhobos doing battle while piling coasters/refreshing drinks on their furniture.

And it is glorious.

File: 1367109970647.jpg-(53 KB, 519x700, 235346356886.jpg)

53 KB JPG

>>24498300

Hear me now
Oh thou bleak and unbearable world,
Thou art base and debauched as can be;
And a knight with his coasters all bravely unfurled
Now hurls down his tankard to thee!

>>24498088
>not having teak tables
Enjoy your plebe furniture.

Break into a fa/tg/uy's house.
First, assuming they live in a house, not a flat, and they have at least a moderate level of security, use a power drill or a propellant to open the lock on their door. The propellant can be used Chihurgh style with a bolter. Then, disable the security. Do what you have to. Once you're inside, remove your sack of holding from your pack. Inside you'll find bananas, monkey wrenches, and doughnuts. In every possible orifice you can find, insert bananas. Replace all actual bananas with coasters, which you'll find near the place where the glasses are kept, or near the cutlery drawers. Use extra bananas to place in remaining orifices. Insert all monkey wrenches into the doughnuts. Place each one near a banana. If the homeowner has a breadbasket, stick a monkey wrench into each and every baked good they own. Then, prepare the bedroom. Gather some scented candles, and place them about the bed. Hang purple-velvet curtains, and paint each wall plum. Make the bed, and lay a banana, and a monkey wrench inserted into a doughnut, on it. Then, sneak into the bedroom of the person who is living in the house, and do the same to their bedroom. Place an alarm-clock-cd-radio to wake them up at 7 am. Inside the clockradio you'll find a Mersbow CD. Get naked. Wait in their room until it is 6:59:59. Scream in their ear, PRAISE SLANEESH. Have an orgasm. Leap out the window. Run away.

Never change, /tg/. Never change.

>>24498395
Be me
Wake up on couch in underwear after all night fapping session to my collectable miniatures
There not collectable anymore.
Strange, I can’t see my limited eddtion elf wafu pillow skin
Get night light shaped like fairy girl.
Switch is in the crotch.
Suddenly light
There are body’s all over the house
Blood everywhere, piled around the table.
Scattered amongst them is broken glasses. Thousands of them. Far more then you could possibly own.
And coasters. So many coasters. Torn to ribbons and bits.
On your table stained by your love spunk and miniatures there are two objects
On one side, a cup without a coaster.
On the other 20 cups with coasters.
…….Fuck my table’s ruined.
Through table out.
Fucking tg/

File: 1367110606368.jpg-(22 KB, 800x583, Wat.jpg)

22 KB JPG

>>24498498
I.
Um.
I.
Yeah.
Just...
Yeah.

>>24498537
Praise Slaneesh!

>>24498395
The Order of the Coaster has long fought on battlefields all o'er the world against the fiendish cultists of the vile Ring.

In truth, a whole crusade was hijacked as the invading army was composed completely of those evil Ring worshippers, removing and burning all the coasters in Jerusalem.

>>24498575
Their influence was what made the city of Tyre fall!

>>24498498
i would honestly be okay with this

mostly because i am a slaaneshi but also because i would admire the work that would go into doing this

>>24498606
I'm so happy ;_;

>drug your own drink
>place coaster on top of cup
>place coaster underneath head of house
>pass out on table

>>24498755
Dude, stop posting. You're too drunk for this WORLD SHATTERING CONVERSATION.

>>24496481
>10 months later, he has sunk a considerable amount of money into his LGS.
>He exclaims, he had the cards so he might as well start playing.
>You give a knowing nod to the LGS manager.
>Another unexpected victim of /tg/ related hobbying.

File: 1367115328489.jpg-(10 KB, 188x200, 1360902418746.jpg)

10 KB JPG

>>24498498
>>24498565
>Slaneesh

>>24498498
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. WE HAVE A WINNER.