You've finished your work in Stone Hall. Ensuring that Isen's new Parliament-Council focused on preparing for the actual threat, instead of just squabbling with each other. You gave your goodbyes to Granny and Paladin Avery and made for White Tree.

You arrived at White Tree and secured Mari's comatose body, as well as erasing the teleport gate that the Dramatae had been using to get there from their hideouts.

That night you discussed the Fey Court with Peri. The only way you'll find the Dramatae's Apple Grove is if you can navigate the woods, and if the Fey Court is gunning for you, there's no way you'll be able to do that without being filled with arrows.

Peri revealed that the 'Queen Mab' ruler of the Fey Court had an...interesting history. They all claim to be the original Mab reincarnated, and while the last few Mabs have been capable leaders...the first one was a lunatic who believed that she was the reincarnation of a fictional character.

This was bad, because, if the long missing elf princess Thisleblossom was also the Dramatae known as Comedy...then she had historical, mythical, and traditional precedent that allowed her to control the Fey Court.

Peri suggested that the current Queen Mab knows that marching an army on Citadel is suicide, but she's bound to obey the wishes of her daughter.

However, two can play at the tradition/reincarnation game. There's one role that has greater clout. If you can pull it off, the control of the Fey Court will swing to you, or at the very least, back to Mab who will (hopefully) call off the suicidal march.

The only snag is that Mage has to become Queen Mab's reincarnated husband.

He is...not overly enthusiastic about this Dawnchaser Plan.

I feel a bit bad about lying in the whole "he's totally a resurrected elf prince guys", since paladins really shouldn't lie.

But if we pull this off, we will have the best story forever. Also, mage might be married. We might need to come up with another dawnchaser plan to get him out of that.

Right time for travel! To the Fey Woods!

To the First Woods! We must get Mage properly dressed first after all.

You know, mage talks about running away a lot, to himself. Does Ssen know about that at all, or it all internal monologues?

>>24909354
Pfft, Mage won't follow through on any of those plans. He knows he can't escape.

>>24909102
Ask Mage if he lightning bolted Beacon, would that cause a whole bunch of anti magic, cause if it does, we plant Beacon and let the enemy charge us, Mage zaps Beacon and BAM! the mind control is gone.

>>24909378
Ssen's adventures, much like Mr. Bone's Wild ride, are inescapable.

>>24909399
The entire continent, in fact, wants off Ssen's wild ride.

>>24909409
Citadel is now Ssen's Funhouse. Lightning wielding Lamias and all.

>>24909224
"Okay, so, what's your soul-name." Peri asks as the wagon goes along the road.

"Dagda the Good." Mage says.

"What's Lightmare's true name?"

"Acein."

"And your staff?"

"My magic club." Mage says. "I remember. I remember. I'm good and just, my wisdom is beyond question, I ruled the Fae Court with my scales of Gold and Pearl. I love Queen Mab with all my hearts and have no eyes for any but her, for her soul and mine were intertwined before we were even born, and I am but half a person without her by my side...and don't get weirded out by her hair or Beozar collection."

"Good." Peri says. "We might not get instantly turned into pin cushions." She looks at you. "You know this plan sounded a lot better at dinner."

"That's because we had half a pint in each of us by then." Lea says.

"You know," Peri says. "It would be good if we could promise the Fey something other than 'you wont die and will be able to continue being terrorists' if they come to our side."

Tricia nods. "Any ideas?"

>>24909508
What, exactly, do the fey... want?

>>24909508
"It DID sound more clever when we were just taunting Mage with it, I agree. Do we still want to try to go through with this if comedy or thistleblossom or whoever didn't actually come forth?"

The thing they are fighting for is seperation from Citadel right? Give them what they want. The Fey Court is once agian its own nation. Though I see conflict in the future. Once Citadel is gone for good seeing even one part split off will start a dynamo effect.

bah domino effect I mean.

>>24909634
CAN we give them that? How long ago was their land joined with citadel? Back when peri was a little wee baby, right?

>>24909483
Explains the dodging.

>>24909547
"What, exactly, do the fey...want?" You ask.

"Land, independence, money..." Peri sighs. "Stuff they already have via Citadel." She scratches her head. "They want to be elves, and have everyone treat them like elves. Mysterious, etherial, slightly above humans, and respected for their ancient and wise culture that's superior to humans...they dislike it when the world shows them to just be just as flawed as humans, only with pointy ears." She shrugs. "They aren't the good guys, haven't been for ages."

She shrugs. "They want respect, and they don't want the same respect that humans get. That's the best way I can put it."

>>24909686
History: For the first two ages of Citadel, the elves were mysterious and unknown. Then the Moonrise War lasted for ages, with a schism between people who were pro-Citadel, and those who weren't. A few years before Mari was born, the war ended and the Moonrise Accord was made, giving elves a lot of power, First Wood, and full citizenship status within Citadel. That's when the Fey Court changed from Loyalist Supporters to Terrorist Group.

Ugh. Can't really give them their mysterious persona back. Its hard enough arguing Lamia can be people. No way are we gonna even try to convince em elves are better then everyone else.

"Alright thats what they would want. What would they settle for in todays world?"

>>24909751
"Do you think they would settle for having their own nation once again?"

>>24909818
"Alright thats what they would want. What would they settle for in todays world?"

"I guess territory they can exclude people from." Peri says. "Nothing says independence than the ability to exclude people from your home."

"Isn't that the exact opposite of what we're trying to with Stone Hall and Bronze Peak?" Tricia asks.

"Yes, but we're crazy. They're just jerks." Peri says.

>>24909751
"I have no idea how to make elves more mysterious. I mean, they're familiar now, you can't just make people forget. Respect I can understand, but the ways of gaining it are either slow or dangerous."

Give them the Grove. A place no one can reach unless you know the way and have a key. Perfect for a palace... and a good revenge on Thistleblossom after she is dead.

>>24909866
"Do you think they would settle for having their own nation once again?"

Peri nods. "Yeah...and I can't wait to see them come crawling back to us when they discover that life without trade goods really sucks." She grins. "Then comes the vengeance fueled price gouging."

"And then comes the terrorist cells again." Tricia says.

Peri sighs. "Yeah. I know. But I do want to make them beg just a little."

"Let's not put the wagon before the nightmare." Lea says.

I know Lightmare like some of the party more than other, but hoe does he take to mage?

Now now, we need to check to make sure exactly how assholish these people are before giving them a country.

also we don't have a country, where are we gonna get one?

>>24909946
>the grove
That's a great idea, but only if it's big enough.

>>24910032
they are staging an army in it. I think its big enough.

>>24910047
You can stage an army in a few warehouses, if you're a tactical enough genius. Running a nation takes a bit more. Still an extremely viable plan though.

>>24910006
They already occupy an area near First Wood, simply give them a large swathe of land around there, or possibly the Apple Grove.

all you really need is land and you can turn basically anywhere into a tiny nation.

>>24909963
"I wonder how much space it takes to house an army of monsters, along with included mer-filled lake."

>>24909963
"I think we have a better offer for them than Citadel as far as the 'treating them like elves' thing goes. Citadel will, at best, treat them like a caricature of elves, just like it treats other creatures as caricatures, dolls in its little plays. Without Citadel, they're free to actually *be* elves. As for their own nation, I have a feeling that they'll be a long reconstruction after Citadel falls, and I see no reason not to let them carve off a chunk of it.

Can't say "dolls" in this quest now without creeping out. Well done Echo.

>>24910006
They're not that big a people; having a nation just requires that the surrounding nation respect their sovereignty. Seems reasonable enough.

>>24910405
>>24910469
well, citadel has been weakening sure, but who are we to promise it will fall, and that there will be parts to carve off? Though, the grove isn't official citadel- it's a sssecret place known only to the dramatae I think. Which means it's perfect, the elves would LOVE being super mysterious in their hidden homeland.

>>24910598
They already have part of it, the only question is whether anyone will take it from them. That much I think we can reasonably try to make sure doesn't happen. Keeping the peace seems well within a Paladin's purview, and we're working closely enough with those in power that we can try to advise against it. But yeah, no promises we can't guarantee, just statements of what we'll try to work towards.

>>24910405
"I think we have a better offer for them than Citadel as far as the 'treating them like elves' thing goes. Citadel will, at best, treat them like a caricature of elves, just like it treats other creatures as caricatures, dolls in its little plays. Without Citadel, they're free to actually *be* elves. As for their own nation, I have a feeling that they'll be a long reconstruction after Citadel falls, and I see no reason not to let them carve off a chunk of it." You say.

"Depends on the size of the chunk," Tricia says. "And if they end up wanting more."

"Okay, so back to the Dawnchaser plan...what exactly am I going to be wearing?"

"Nothing too bad." Peri says. "A deep green shirt, a sash, and a kilt...oh and bright yellow boots."

"What?"

"The boots are important. Iconic!" Peri says. "I swear I'm not making that part up. They'll notice something's wrong if you aren't wearing the boots."

"Fine." Mage groans. "Yelow boots it is. You sure we can get all of this stuff?"

"Oh yeah." Peri nods. "Shouldn't be that hard."

Mage sighs and looks at you. "I'm all for any plan that has us not getting shot...but man alive..." He shakes his head. "This is something for the records."

>>24910705
"Don't worry, we'll rescue you before you have to see any horrible elf queen boobies or god forbid have sex."

>>24910705
"Just remember, Mage, confidence is the key. You can get away with almost anything if you're confident you can. How do you think we pull off the impossible so often? We know we're going to make it happen, and from that foregone conclusion we work out how we'll get there. You're going to need an Old-One-sized ego to pull this off. Just remember, you're the foremost magic researcher on this continent, and you have every right to feel proud of that."

Then give an exaggerated bow to Mage.

I don't think it beats the riding the wild boar. Or the ice bridge. Or convincing a Dragon the Light is a Dragon. or...

>>24910705
"Don't worry mage, you'll be laughing about how easy this one was when we come up with the plan to get you out of the relationship with mab we got you into."

>>24910705
"Have we worked out our own cover stories? I mean, obviously we're Dagda's entourage/escorts, but how did we end up doing so?

And did Dagda have magical powers? Because that'll give our Dagda a distinct advantage in the role."

>>24910748
"Just remember, Mage, confidence is the key. You can get away with almost anything if you're confident you can. How do you think we pull off the impossible so often? We know we're going to make it happen, and from that foregone conclusion we work out how we'll get there. You're going to need an Old-One-sized ego to pull this off. Just remember, you're the foremost magic researcher on this continent, and you have every right to feel proud of that."

You bow to him.

Mage sighs, shakes his head, and smiles. "Okay. I've watched you enough to try and fake it."

"Don't worry mage, you'll be laughing about how easy this one was when we come up with the plan to get you out of the relationship with Mab we got you into."

"That's what I'm worried about." Mage says.

>>24910793
"Have we worked out our own cover stories? I mean, obviously we're Dagda's entourage/escorts, but how did we end up doing so?"

Peri shrugs. "I was going to leave that up to you, maybe we were so stricken with Dagda's presence that we just KNEW we were bound to follow him. I've heard worse excuses."

"And did Dagda have magical powers? Because that'll give our Dagda a distinct advantage in the role."

"I'm not sure." Peri says. "It won't hurt though. Elves like superiority, and magic is a leg up on normal people."

Mage wags his hand back and forth. "Yeah, but you don't have to worry about blowing up your bedsheets if you have a nightmare...or other day-to-day inconveniences." He sighs. "Be glad I have a vegetable diet. Meat eating mages can be...unpleasant...to travel with."

"Once more, I learn things I never want to know." Tricia says.

"I had a thought." Lea says. "They have Paladin Julian, right? Any ideas on how Dagda's going to talk them into not killing him? Let alone releasing him."

"Sorry about saying this Ssen," Mari says. "How do we know he's still alive."

"They would have sent his head or something." Peri says. "They'd let us know if they'd killed a Paladin."

Arriving late here. If we do give them their own country/territory there should still be provision for the highway currently going through it from Purple Sands toward Citadel.
Any taxation of the highway would be jointly agreed upon and it would be up to both sides to ensure it was swept for bandits.

Most likely Comedy is hoping I'll give something up in return for his life.

I wish they would stop doing that. I really do. It hurts.

>>24910954
"If they've killed Julian, 'Dagda' is going to have to talk us out of killing them, not the other way around.

But seriously, though: politics. We've still got that list of the Paladins on our side and on Citadel's side. That ought to be evidence enough."

>>24910954
>"I'm not sure." Peri says. "It won't hurt though. Elves like superiority, and magic is a leg up on normal people."

Good point. I wonder how much Mage has practiced cantrips? We have him do earth-shattering things on a regular basis, but for impressing people he'll need more of the glowing lights, magical trumpets, flying doves, billowing cloaks, and other such magical frippery.

>>24911009
>But seriously, though: politics. We've still got that list of the Paladins on our side and on Citadel's side. That ought to be evidence enough."

(And whatever we do, we keep that list out of Comedy's hands.)

>>24910954
>"Once more, I learn things I never want to know." Tricia says.

Oh, sure, and Tricia's never woken up to find that her skin has eaten the sheets?

>>24910954
"Well, if they DID kill Julian, someone did a mighty good job keeping it secret. That kind of thing tends to send the rumor mill spinning."

"On the topic of being "stricken with his presence", we DID sort of help him right from when we met him, even though he technically might not have been on our side. That should count for something. Or are we just fabricating our entire pasts? How will we gloss this over?"

>>24911116
er,
>gloss this GHOUL thing over
Missed a word

>>24911116
"We're well-known enough that we don't want to go fabricating any more than we have to. But Mage's history pre-Dawnchaser is murky enough that nobody can argue he isn't Dagda the Good reborn. Beyond that, let's stick to the truth; it'll be more consistent and unbelievable than any lie. The truth of Dagda's heroism will be quite sufficient, I think. And yes, Mage, I'm trying to give you a big head, but that doesn't mean I'm lying."

"Well, if they DID kill Julian, someone did a mighty good job keeping it secret and 'Dagda' is going to have to talk us out of killing them, not the other way around.

"On the topic of being "stricken with his presence", we DID sort of help him right from when we met him, even though he technically might not have been on our side. That should count for something. Or are we just fabricating our entire pasts? How will we gloss this Ghoul thing over?"

"I think the less we make up the better." Peri says.

"I mean, we're well-known enough that we don't want to go fabricating any more than we have to. But Mage's history pre-Dawnchaser is murky enough that nobody can argue he isn't Dagda the Good reborn. Beyond that, let's stick to the truth; it'll be more consistent and unbelievable than any lie. The truth of Dagda's heroism will be quite sufficient, I think. And yes, Mage, I'm trying to give you a big head, but that doesn't mean I'm lying."

Tricia snaps her fingers. "I think I've got an idea." She says. "Isen's told us that Princess Mumei came up with this story about you that made you make sense to her...he..didn't quite get the translation right, but it was something about asking for a challenge? Right?"

>>24911358
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/23894372/#p23896873
>Congrats, you are now fluent in Phoenix Tongue, Princess Mumei is gobsmacked that a King Snake can sing a song. She says that you must have been a crazy bird in an earlier life that soared in the winter storms because you could, and when you passed, you dared the Great Phoenix to give you a challenge...so It made you a Snake in this life.

>>24911358
"Yes, she said I must have asked to be a snake for an extra challenge. Might work the same for being a ghoul instead of an elven prince, eh?

On an unrelated note, how much will we need to know about the summerlands for this? Apparently there's some reincarnation deals going on here?"

>>24911358

Are you suggesting that "Dagda" asked to be reincarnated as a human to test his ability to get through a lesser being's life? Lesser in their snooty and high-storied terms, that is.

"Yes, she said I must have asked to be a snake for an extra challenge. Might work the same for being a ghoul instead of an elven prince, eh?"

"Exactly, why don't we make a story like that? The great...what do you have Peri?" Tricia asks.

"Ancient Elf Elders. Enlightened beings that transcended mortal form." Peri says.

"Yeah, okay. So they wanted to put Dagda through a trial or make him better. Something like that." Tricia looks at Peri. "Would that work?"

Peri nods. "Maybe."

"How DO the Summerlands work anyway?" You ask.

"Elves die, they go to this eternal land of summer where they rest and restore their souls, they let themselves be washes clean by the endless sunlight, and they rejoice in the fruits of the ethereal. Then, when they bore of idleness, they return their souls to this world." She shrugs. "That's the short version, anyway."

>>24911550
Sounds sorta like a mix between the Light and the Phoenix Empire.

>>24911576
It does, doesn't it? The Light's journey and the Great Phoenix's reincarnation.

>>24911594
They're like a bastard combination of the modern-day 'feminist movement' combined with hippies.

>>24911550
"That actually sounds pretty darn great. Hm. Lucky elves.

So, would it be better to declare he's this Dagda in the flesh when we get there, or just have him walk around in the yellow boots, matching all the descriptions, being generally marvelous until someone notices? How does it go in the stories?"

>>24911645
"That actually sounds pretty darn great. Hm. Lucky elves."

Lea gives you a disapproving look.

"So, would it be better to declare he's this Dagda in the flesh when we get there, or just have him walk around in the yellow boots, matching all the descriptions, being generally marvelous until someone notices? How does it go in the stories?"

"Well...it depends." Peri says.

"On what?" Mage asks.

"How soon we get arrows pointed at us when we hit the gorge." Peri says. "Cause sooner or later, we're going to be considered unwelcome."

Mages possible speech.

I was born to a cruel world, that of a ghoul. One I rejected with all my heart and soul. And when opportunity arouse I cast off my shackles with the help of my dear servant Lady Ssen. However no name I thought of suited me and so I called myself Mage. As I could not see myself calling myslef as a lesser being. I travelled with her, picking up my other companions including someone of elven descent and she told me the stories of the Fey Court and I was struck with longing. And with the Stories of dearest Mab my heart seized with joy. I knew I had to join them but how? Then it came to me. I was not Mage.. but Dagda!

>>24911749
We otherkin now.

>>24911749
Dodongo dislike.

>>24911730
>Lea gives you a disapproving look.

"I didn't say I was switching celestial allegiances, Lea. I said it's a nice notion. The Phoenix Empire's reincarnation, the Elves' Summerland, the Light's journey; I refuse to believe there's a fundamental disconnect between such similar stories, nor that the Light would condemn someone to darkness or even a longer journey for following good principles by a different name. We're all working to understand the Light, or whatever people would prefer to call it, in our own way."

>>24911730
"I guess we'll be declaring him right soon, then. I doubt we're very welcome."

Hopefully lea recognizes we're into the light for the way it tells you to live, not how it says things will be after you die.

>>24911877
Religion is about what you think the true nature of reality is, and how to correctly order your life in the light of this belief.

"It's just a good ethical framework" is not pius in the least.

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>>24911909
I like to leave questions like "what is reality" to the philosophers and scholarly priests. I'm a practical man, and they're good words to live by.

>>24911772
The most BORING of othe- wait.
>Half Ghoul
>Half Elf
>Half Dragon Servant
>Good at magic
>Hilariously clumsy despite the above
Oh man he really can pull this off.

>>24911909
Sure, but at the same time, condemning otherwise good people who follow similar principles by a different name is not the sign of a particularly forgiving religion. Ssen should look more kindly on someone like Quentin or Robin, good people who follow something other than the Light, than someone like Odette, who professes to follow the Light but was a terrible person. That should tell you something right there about what really matters.

>>24911961
Yeah, he just needs to turn the Marty Stu up to 11; he has the background for it.

>>24911961
>>24911982
Oh jesus this could actually work.

He's potentially Marty Stu enough to pull an Eragon and be accepted by the elves.

By god.

>>24912031
>>24911982
>>24911961
I am now more confident in this plan. We just need to get mage to play up his tortured past, his self-made destiny, how he killed an army with one swing of his mighty club, how he is a descendant of those whose blood was of dragons...

>>24911961
>Half Dragon Servant

We need to be careful with that one, I think. After all, an elf like Dagda the Good serves no one. But he could play it off as a means of obtaining long life while remaining humble.

>>24912069
Don't forget how he destroyed a mountain.

You write down a speech of what you think Mage should say. As you do you look at Lea.

"I didn't say I was switching celestial allegiances, Lea. I said it's a nice notion. The Phoenix Empire's reincarnation, the Elves' Summerland, the Light's journey; I refuse to believe there's a fundamental disconnect between such similar stories, nor that the Light would condemn someone to darkness or even a longer journey for following good principles by a different name. We're all working to understand the Light, or whatever people would prefer to call it, in our own way."

Lea nods. "I know. I know. Just giving you a hard time." She smiles. "Bu you're not wrong. It does sound pleasant."

Mage looks at the speech you wrote down for him. "I am not saying this." He shakes his head. "This is...I mean there's dumb and then there's this." He frowns. "Don't you think it's a little much?"

Peri looks at it. She tilts her head back and forth. "It's a little heavy, I admit...but it sounds like it could work."

Peri said they enjoyed dramatic speeches and tales. So lets give them one. The best thing is that by and by its true. Well besides the part about you being Dagda.

>>24912105
"Well, you could lighten it up a little, if you like. I'm tasked with reading all kinds of crazy leviathan and dragon books, I think it's fair to have you splice in some flowery elven poeticalness, right?"

>>24912152
well he COULD be dagda. I mean, it's possible.

Who are we to say he isn't?

"Can I ask what the significance of the yellow boots is? Or were they just a thing that he famously had?"

>>24912267
good question.

More to add when they ask why a Ghoul and why 'Dagda' knows almost nothing about elves.

Alas my time in the eternal sunlight made my memories vaheu at best. I can only remember the merest glimpses in my dreams. But the clearest was this. The eldest came to me and offered me a choice. I could stay an elf. And suffer under the Citadel's shackles. Or I could become other and slip the gaze of the Fey Courts enemies. I would find allies and weapons. But I would be the lowest of the low.

Long under those idyllic I tormented myself with my choice. But in the end I could do no less then sacrifice for my beloved. I chose to become less then I was. So I could free the Fey Court once and for all.

>>24912395
vaheu = vague


just don't ask. I have no idea how that happened.

>>24912395
eh, it works. And we have a way to deliver on that via stealing things from the dramatae.

>>24912395

Dagda stayed in the Summerlands for a while, but became agonized and tormented over the Elves' plight. He could not partake of the Summerlands' infinite joys, all of them turning to ashes as he thought more and more of how his people chafed under Citadel's gilded shackles. When he could take no more of Citadel's subjugation of the elven people, he went to the elder spirits/gods, and beseeched them for a way to free his people.

There was a way to do this, they said, but it was not without sacrifice. If he was serious about doing this thing, he would not be allowed to reincarnate as an elf. Instead, he would have to suffer a life as the lowest of the low: a Ghoul slave.

>Other stuff

What should we do if there's an elf that cashed in on this Dagda thing already?

What do we do when it turns out that Mage actually is Dagda?

>>24912584
laugh?

>>24912584
Roll with it. What do we do when it turns out Mage is actually in love with Mab, Dagda or no Dagda?

>>24912584
Laugh.

>>24912602
laugh some more then wish him luck.

>>24912584
>>24912602
laugh, and oh man I cannot wait to see what Echo has in store for us when it comes to that.

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>>24912584

>>24912614
Also start trying to think of a wedding present.
What do you buy the king of the elves?

>>24912664
Three pounds of buttered peanuts and a berry bush.

>>24912664

Peppermint spears/blades. A pastry that is essentially biscotti covered in a soft peppermint candy shell.

Mage is obviously Dagda, in retrospect, given his diet.

Apologies for the delays, there's some drama I'm unsuccessfully avoiding .

>>24912637
The road bumps along as quiet as ever. Finally you arrive at First Wood. Or, more accurately you arrive at the Citadel Army Base that's in the semi-burnt and partially-destroyed village that was known as First Wood.

The Citadel Army is a bit different than the Occuli you're used to seeing. These aren't trained fighters, or people trying to become knights/paladins/etc. These are people given a sword and shield and thrown at the enemy. There are a LOT of them though. And this is only a tiny part of it. You can see the smoke and smell it all the way here. They're systematically rooting the forest for the Fey Court, burning the forest, chopping down trees, and on and on.

A boy salutes you as you approach. He's wide-eyed and awe struck to see the Paladin Serpent herself.

"Lady Paladin...we're honored to have you here." He says. "What can we do to help you?"

"Is Reggie Trust still around here?"

"The ragman?" The kid asks.

"Yes. The Ragman."

"I think his 'store' is still down by the river." He points. "But...Paladin Serpent, there's plenty of goods and clothes at our camp. We even have a few specialist tailors following us in the civilian camp."

>>24912878
Smile. "Thank you, but I'm not here to shop. I'll be sure to check around if that changes. What's your name?"

>>24912721
You know, thinking about it, you don't bake peppermint but you DO bake a sword...

>>24913054
"Thank you, but I'm not here to shop. I'll be sure to check around if that changes. What's your name?"

He salutes you. "Jim, Private Jim of the Eagle Street Regulars." He blushes. "May I say, your Ladyship, that your painted portrait doesn't do you justice...but...umm...why aren't you wearing your...other...armor?"

Oh by the Light...it's that damn painting come back to haunt you.

>>24913141
As much as I'd love to wear that set it doesn't travel well.

>>24913141
"Why, because I need my armor to -work-. Hardly ever have time to look pretty or wear a dress these days, which is a shame."

>>24913141
"The painter used quite a bit of artistic license when he made that painting, this is far more similar to what I was actually wearing at the time than the artists rendition."

>>24913141

I will answer your question with a question, Private Jim. If you were wearing armor that was similar to that portrait, how well would it protect you compared to your current suit?

>>24913315
he's got a sword and shield man. He'd probably love some titplate.

File: 1368941931230.jpg-(191 KB, 760x596, breastplate.jpg)

191 KB JPG

>>24913337

>>24913141
Either use a witty line on him, or laugh and pat him on the head and proceed on.

Depending on how flippant we want to be about this.

>>24913270
This. Citadel already hates us now, so no reason to pretend that painting conveys reality anymore.

>>24913503
no need to openly let everyone know though. Public opinion and all that.

>>24913533
We're not openly talking about Citadel hate, we're just griping about a painting.

>>24913552
>>24913533
what I'm worried about is our statue.

i wonder whose soul went into making that.

>>24913617
you know, I don't think EVERY statue in citadel has a soul in it. Just like, some of them.

Since they specified people who wore the masks went to citadel when they die, not just everybody in citadel. Right?

>>24913651
Citadel will eventually no longer need the lightbringer sacrifices to grow. That means the souls\power have to come from somewhere. I have a feeling those who worship Citadel WILL be consumed by it. Right now thats not enough to do more then slowly cause it to grow. But as it gets larger and larger it will eventually reach a critical threshhold... and start becoming the amoeba Rage described.

>>24913718
You know, I'm fascinated by the life cycles of these land spirits.

I wonder how the light plays into all of this. Very diffuse, low level, low upkeep spirit? Actually the spirit of the sun, but from very far away?

"I will answer your question with a question, Private Jim. If you were wearing armor that was similar to that portrait, how well would it protect you compared to your current suit?"

"Uhh...well..."

"The painter used quite a bit of artistic license when he made that painting, this is far more similar to what I was actually wearing at the time than the artists rendition.

"I need my armor to -work-. Hardly ever have time to look pretty or wear a dress these days, which is a shame."

"Oh...uhh, yes your ladyship!" Jim salutes you and takes off.

Peri sighs. "Come on, Reggie's probably going to be a bit on edge with all the soldiers here."

You follow her down to the river, to a small little house on the bank. A small sign next to the door proclaims it to be 'Trust Second Hand Clothes.'

Peri does a special rhythmic knock on the door.

The door opens a crack. "I never saw you, and unless you're suicidal, you'll be long gone from the town by the time I finish this sentence." A voice says.

"It's Persephone, Reg. Let us in, we need some stuff."

"Persephone?" The voice says. "Now I most definitely didn't see you."

"That was a while ago Reg." Peri says. "You know damn well that I'm with a new outfit."

"Yeah, but the old one's not too pleased with you. You mutilated Donovan, and worse...you've caused a bit of an uproar among the rank and file." The voice says.

"Huh?"

"Well, after Donovan blabbed about what he did to ya, a bunch of Court members went through the old laws. They...had issues with a bunch of them, and petitioned for them to be stricken from the memories."

Peri shrugs. "And?"

"Well, the traditionalists were against any changes, and the radicals wanted their own changes made, and the isolationists had their own say as well. Pretty soon everyone's fighting each other about what should or shouldn't be changed. Court's been at a standstill...or was at least."

(cont)

>>24913887
"So what does any of that matter?"

"Cause all of the parties blame you." Reg says. "Say you and the Paladin Serpent were sent to fracture the Court, make it weak and ripe for conquest." He sighs. "At least that's what the girl said when she showed up."

"Girl?"

"Aye..." He sighs and opens the door. He's a grey haired elf with a small set of spectacles and a sour glare that could do more than peel paint, but probably also peel walls off of houses. "Come in. Might as well hear the full story about what the fuck happened." He shakes his head.

You all come into the shop. It's little more than heaps of old clothes piled high on tables. Reggie gets out a pipe and stuffs it with tobacco and lights it. He doesn't seem to care that the shop has poor ventilation.

"This girl shows up about last month." He says. "Claims to be the one and only Thistleblossom." He shrugs. "She passes every single damn test they throw at her, she even knew the ancient tongue."

Peri snaps her fingers. "Damnit...forgot about that!" She waves her hand. "Never mind, go on. Everyone else, start looking for those clothes I mentioned. Save the boots, you should find stuff here." She nods for Reg to continue.

(cont)

>>24913900
"So, she then comes before the court and she calmly asks for the leaders of the factions to come before her and her mother with their grievances.

"They come forward, say their peices. Then the girl nods, draws a flaming sword from her side and SWOP! One swipe and their heads all hit the floor." He shakes his head. "She gives a speech on how she and her mother are the ultimate authority to elves. The laws are perfect, because they are perfect. There will be no dissension, and THEN she orders their familes to be brought up...and she executes them!" He shakes his head in horror at the memory.

"The leader of the Moth Cell protests, and he, his cell, and his family all get slaughtered. By now, no one questions this girl. She IS Thistleblossom...you remember how she was in the stories, as beautiful as she was cruel?

"So, she orders the cells together, and has them march on First Wood...and right before they strike. The little demon summons a horde of monsters, naga, lamia, mer from the lake, orcs, minotaurs, harpies, you name 'em. They appear. The whole place is ripped to shreds, then she orders everyone back to the court."

He sighs.

"They've been raiding towns ever since, more and more severe by the day." He shakes his head.

"We're finally winning...but...I don't want it like this. We're supposed to be in the right...hard to say that when you're killing children and feeding them to la...uhh...harpies." Reg says. "That's what's been going on in the court."

>>24913927
>goes for lamias first
Great, they not only have lamias but are feeding them children. Great. Thank you, citadel, for that wonderful bit of good PR.

>>24913927
Fucking Comedy. Now I'm really glad we didn't take up the deal to spare her.

"Trust me, if this Thistleblossom is who I think it is, she doesn't have the best interests of the elves in mind. She considers you all tools."

It seems that there's a villain for the Lightbringers already. I guess imminent doom and collapse of one's entire power structure-god-thing will do that.

>>24913927
"I'm not going to be offended if you say 'lamia'. Did they have white scales, by any chance? This so-called Thistleblossom is one of a group of powerful sorcerers, and excels at corrupting others; these days they have enough power and desperation to do even against their will.

In any case, it sounds like Dagda will have his work cut out for him, getting his family back in order."

>>24913927
"Ugh, babies. A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

>>24913927
"Well, thanks for the heads up at least. Good to know that there's a thistleblossom in the court, and that everyone's scared out of their wits."

>>24914004
Okay, you made me laugh. Though, it might not be so wise to actually say.

"So, you wanted to know 'exactly what had happened'? Well, go on, ask. I don't know which parts of what story you want the truth on until you ask."

>>24914004
now is not the time.

>>24913927
"Did you notice the coloration of the monsters? All White I would bet, which means they have been corrupted, some even against their will by powerful magic."

>>24914004
Save this for after we leave, keep it an in-joke with the party.

>>24914083
>In-joke
Well great, now they'll be trying their damned hardest not to snicker next time someone mentions baby eating.

>>24913927
"Sounds like Dagda needs to take his daughter over his knee."

"I'm not going to be offended if you say 'lamia'. Did they have white scales, by any chance?" You ask.

Reggie shrugs. "I was hiding the moment those things showed up. I wasn't too keen on looking at them too closely."

"This so-called Thistleblossom is one of a group of powerful sorcerers, and excels at corrupting others; these days they have enough power and desperation to do even against their will." You say.

Reggie shrugs. "I wouldn't doubt it. Anyone with that much juice has to be connected."

"In any case, it sounds like Dagda will have his work cut out for him, getting his family back in order."

Reggie looks up. "Peri, are you actually trying to pull the Dagda con, again?"

Peri nods. "With him." She points at Mage.

Reggie stares for a while. Then bursts out laughing. "Oh...I always knew you had a bigger pair than Donovan...actually." He walks around Mage. "He's a mage?"

"Yes. He is." Mage says.

"Okay...height's about right...hair's good..." Reggie sniffs the air. "You don't smell of red meat."

"I eat mostly vegetables." Mage says.

Reggie laughs. "In some ways, he's actually a better Dagda than Donovan was." He grins. "I'll get the boots."

Reggie heads to the back. Peri looks at the rest of you. "We have a problem...Donovan was the one who knew the Ancient Tongue when we did this scam before...we might be screwed."

Mage I forget the details. Anyway to make it so your translation spell will help here?

>>24914130
"You tried to pull this stunt before? You, personally? That's the kind of detail you should share."

(Here's hoping Mage just says <You mean like this?> in the Ancient Tongue and solves this problem.)

>>24914162
Good thinking!

>>24914130
"is it that vital? he is a non-elf after all, possibly lost the Ancient Tongue when he reincarnated?"

oh yea, doesent Mage have a translation spell?

she specializes in mind control magic, and has a grudge against me. Honestly i'd be more surprised if she wasn't going out of her way to make the Lamia under her control act as monstrous as possible.

Another concern: If this Thisstleblossom is a Dramatae plant (or the real thing) and is forewarned against any of the Dawnchasers plans, what should we do if they just decide to get it over with and have Thisstleblossom try to kill us when we attempt the Dagda thing?

>>24914192
We kill her back twice as hard.

>>24914130
"Well, might be screwed is one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is a chance for rapid scholastics on mage's part.

Though, we've no idea mage doesn't already know the language. It's not like he's ever tried. I didn't know I spoke lizard until I talked to one. Anyone who speaks ancient elven we could talk to?"

>>24914192
pretty sure Thistleblossom is Comedy herself. Been strongly hinted at it anyway.

>>24914130
Don't forget that Comedy and Donovan have a past, too:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24158237/#p24165060
>"Personal issues don't count." Comedy says. "I didn't bitch about my baby Donnie!"

>>24914192
>thistleblossom tries to kill us
The obvious answer is to disarm her, toss down our beacon and clang, and demand we have a "proper go at her".

Then punch her to death.

>>24914192
I assume because it would look bad if she straight up murders another "famous" mythical elf hero, especially if she does it before they can prove or disprove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. The elves are really only still following her out of fear, not out of any real loyalty.

>>24914192
Doesn't work; Comedy still has to keep the story going, both Citadel's story and the Thistleblossom story, and killing someone who might be Dagda doesn't fit into either of those stories.

>>24914130
Wait a second, Who was Donovan's teacher for the ancient tongue? Do you know, Reggie?

>>24914278
probably Thistleblossom if she claimed to know him.

>>24914278
This is because I think Comedy taught Donovan to be her hand in the Fey Court.

In thread 26
>"Personal issues don't count." Comedy says. "I didn't bitch about my baby Donnie!"

In thread 50
>"The guy that trained Donovan knew and he told him, and...pillow talk." Peri blushes.

And now Donovan knew the ancient tongue. It smells funny to me. Comedy funny.

"You tried to pull this stunt before? You, personally? That's the kind of detail you should share."

"How do you think I know about the boots and a bunch of little details that'll help us get in the door?" Peri says. "True...I never played this con on Mab...but other than that stupid language, I can make this work."

"Well, might be screwed is one way of looking at it, another way of looking at it is a chance for rapid scholastics on Mage's part.

Though, we've no idea mage doesn't already know the language. It's not like he's ever tried. I didn't know I spoke lizard until I talked to one. Anyone who speaks ancient elven we could talk to?"

"No...just Mab, and Thisleblossom apparently." Peri sighs.

"I need someone to actively talk the entire old language for the translation spell to work." Mage says. "That's why it took so long to set up. I needed an entire phonetic range of human and lizard first."

"Well...maybe..." Peri says. "Maybe we can work around it...or we'll think of something."

"Is it that different from the current elf tongue?" Tricia asks.

"Think about the difference between Citadel and Phoenix tongue." Peri says.

>>24914394
"Any way to make her thing you're speaking the tongue when you're not?"

>>24914394
Curse in phoenix tongue, and hope Mage has a sudden burst of linguistic knowledge when he hears someone speaking the Ancient Tongue.

>>24914394
"Great, so we just throw in some... tree metaphors?"

>>24914394
I wonder if Mage ought to take the one dose of mind-protection potion we have before we visit the Fey Court?

>>24914382
Welp. One more reason why we're not sorry about killing Donovan.

We should probably tell Peri.

>>24914427
>cursing in phoenix tongue
Obviously, we curse in lizard tongue.
>>24914394
"I don't suppose Mab is the kind of person to just speak old elven at length, perhaps in a monologue, is she? We could just sort of sneak mage into a cupboard and have him hide until he overhears enough of it."

>>24914462
we... didn't kill donovan.

He was SENT TO BE PRISONER AND TRIED AT A LATER DATE!

We can go ask donovan! Maybe! Assuming citadel wanted him alive for information before execution!

>>24914419
"Any way to make her just 'think' you're speaking the tongue when you're not?" You ask Mage.

"I think...actually..." He says. "Well...as long as we aren't in a crowded room, and I'm JUST talking to Mab and NOT interrupted...I can pull it off. Maybe. It's a mix of illusion, the translation spell, and a LOT of prayers to the Light or the Phoenix, or the Elders or whomever you'd think work best in this scenario."

>>24914462
I thought he got sent to Grand Citadel for torture and trial/execution at a later date.

>>24914489
Actually we never did find out what happened to him.

Fucking hell he might actually still be around.

>>24914489
Assuming the Dramatae haven't just freed him.

>>24914489
>>24914507
Oh shit.

Now I really wish we still had access to that teleport network.

>>24914502
"That might be useful, if we're desperate. But only if it turns out you're not really Dagda reborn and miraculously speak the language. Stranger things have happened."

>>24914516
>>24914535
he was captured near here.

He was sent to JULIAN'S prisoner area for interrogation.

He would still be captive around here, if we're lucky.

>>24914516
>>24914533
In which case Peri gets to kill him and we tie up that loose end.

>>24914578
...Julian.

Who's now wearing one of those fucking masks.

FUCK

>>24914502
"What do you think the chances are that Donovan hasn't been executed yet and is still in prison? We could always look him up and ask him for a helping hand."

>>24914578
Pretty sure Julian said later that he'd been sent to Citadel.

>>24914427
>>24914472
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaZmdZACMNo#t=42s

captcha: Grand Citadel
Seriously.

>>24914597
Don't even *think* about suggesting that in front of Peri.

>>24914597
>>24914635
okay, fine, don't suggest it.

>>24914502
"OK, so you've got a solution for pillow talk."

Well lets call that plan B. Plan A would be to see if Donovan is still alive and nearby.

>>24914764
Mostly so we can fix one or both of those problems.

>>24914683
"OK, so you've got a solution for pillow talk."

Mage groans.

Reggie comes out with a small black box with lots of drawers. "Alright, so...what do we need?"

"He was born among the Ghouls. But we still need something that says he was born during a waxing gibbous moon." Peri says.

Reggie nods and takes out some papers and inks. "I can put something together that looks like a Ghoul made it."

Peri is listing things off her fingers. "The birthmark we'll tattoo on."

"Wait, tattoo?" Mage says.

"I have the kit in he back, we'll do that last." Reggie says.

"And of course, we need the Seal of the Elders." Peri says. "That he found under a great tree that he saw first in a dream."

Reggie tosses Peri a coin. "I make 'em by the dozens now. Cheaper."

"Thanks, Reg." She squeezes his arm. "You're my favorite Uncle."

"I'm not your Uncle. I'm the only asshole who could stand to sit next to your parents when they bitched about everything." He says.

"You were still their best man, the most important guest at the wedding."

"I was the ONLY wedding guest." He snaps. He's smiling as he says it. "Now be quiet, I'm creating."

"What was that about a tattoo?" Mage asks you.

Any memory-recovery spells? Peri DID hear the old songs sung to her by donovan, we could reconstruct those if we gave her perfect recall for a moment.

>>24914764
We saw Donovan among the crowd of those who were dead and blamed us for it when we were in the Dark Peaks.

>>24914782
Donovan is NOT nearby. After a very long 'confession' given to Julian, he was loaded into a wagon in shackles and taken to Grand Citadel.

At least, that's what you know by way of news via Paladin communications to Avery, Balles, and yourself.

>>24914850
"I don't know what this was about a tattoo. It's a surprise we'll discover together."

>>24914875
Which could mean that he's dead, or it could have been the Dragon Who Was Of Shadow screwing with you.

Either way, he's not a viable option within the timeframe that you have. Had you a month and time to go check in Citadel, maybe...but you've not got the time. Sorry.

Would we get a tattoo? Show solidarity?

>>24914891
Comedy busted him out to counter EXACTLY this kind of bullshit. In fact she outright prepared for this, so NOPE.jpeg

>>24914919
Not now, it would look suspicious if it was the same as Mage's. Later.

>>24914918
fair enough. We might have to go with plan "stick mage in a cupboard", if we don't have any brighter ideas. And memory recovery magic/hypnosis/potions are a real shot in the dark.

>>24914850
"Just remember, you're doing this for hot Elf tail, and to save the world.

My tattooed liege." Bow.

>>24914850
Remember if you ever need to get rid of it you probably can fleshshape it away.

>>24914850
"I gave you my own skin and muscle to eat when we first met, and that wasn't even to save the world. C'mon, what's a tattoo between friends? You're telling me there's no such thing as magical tattoo removal?"

>>24914850
"If you're worried about the pain, I might have a solution to that, thanks to Mumei. Though we might have to start calling it Groom's Milk."

>>24915049
poor, poor mage
>>24915035
guilt tripped into everything.

>>24914861
None that we'd have had the opportunity to learn. Mind-magics are closely controlled.

>>24915206
Poor *us*, if the milk doesn't wear off before the big show. Though perhaps this is the kind of thing not best done sober.

In any case, yeah, no guilt-tripping Mage. He's done far more than enough for us.

>remember copypasta about party spending entire campaign cockblocking an elf

>we are preparing the party to jump through insane hoops to get an elf laid

>>24915242
Forget the elf, we're getting Mage laid. Should do wonders for his confidence, which seriously needs the help. Oh, and stopping the Fey army and the evil Thistleblossom impostor Comedy and all that.

>>24915272
>>24915242
we're just being a good older sister and helping mage on the rebound.

>>24915318
That sentence is too incesty for what is actually going on

>>24915388
Uh, what? Siblings are the best wingmen. Wingsnakes. Whatever.

>>24915035
"I gave you my own skin and muscle to eat when we first met, and that wasn't even to save the world. C'mon, what's a tattoo between friends? You're telling me there's no such thing as magical tattoo removal?"

"No, it's not that."

"If you're worried about the pain, I might have a solution to that, thanks to Mumei. Though we might have to start calling it Groom's Milk."

"Look, it's fine." He sighs. "What does it look like anyway?"

"A maple leaf on your inner left ankle." Peri says.

"Well...that's not too bad." Mage shrugs.

"Told you." Peri says. "Not everything about this plan is built around embarrassing you Mage."

"Could have fooled me." Mage mutters.

Two hours, and a slight-but-significantly painful tattoo job, later...you walk out of Reggies not with Mage, but with a man in green shit wearing tartan sash with matching kilt, who completes the outfit with a pair of bright yellow boots. Behold, the latest incarnation of the great Elf King Dagda.

"I don't feel all that regal." Mage says. "And I'm not taking off my staff shackle."

"Fine." Peri says. "But snakeskin clashes...what do you think Ssen?"

>>24915475
"I think it looks fine on him, the boots clash far more than the snakeskin."

>>24915475
"....I think Mage can make it work."

>>24915475
"I've never seen anybody look more like an elf king."

>>24915475
In his boots I see naught but infinite suffering. As if a thousand fashionable souls cried out in horror and were suddenly silenced.

>>24915475
Yes, why not try out a maple leaf pattern to match the tattoo.

>>24915475
"That snakeskin is never out of style, obviously. If it were, I'd be lost."

>>24915566
This.

>>24915475
"Your call, my liege. I think it works for you, though."

>>24915475
"I was actually thinking we could make a pretty good peppermint sword using candy bits and artful pastry work. Very nice elven hero you have there, by the way."

>>24915475
You can tell the truth. That I gave a piece of myself to help you.

>>24915516
"You make it work, Mage. I think it looks fine on him, the boots clash far more than the snakeskin." You grin. "I've never seen anybody look more like an elf king.

I was actually thinking we could make a pretty good peppermint sword using candy bits and artful pastry work. Very nice elven hero you have there, by the way."

Mage flips you off. "The King is NOT amused."

You head off into the woods now. Peri is leading you on a direction that's directly opposite to where the army is searching. Mostly because this is not a wooded area. It's mostly craggy scrubland that leads into the mountains that separate this area from the fringes of the desert.

"You ever wonder if that desert goes on forever, or if those 'Doomed Tundra Explorers' ever made it?" Tricia asks. "Or if there's land if you go out to sea from Stone Hall?"

"World's a big place." Lea says. "Must be more than Citadel."

"We probably wont have time to see it though, will we?" Tricia continues. "Just dealing with the post-citadel world will be a trial enough."

"Well, we could get lucky and be captured by the Phoenix Empire." Mari says. "Go two for two on beating corrupt land spirits."

Not until much later thank you very much. We all need a break. A vacation. A life!

>>24915743
Didn't the dragon marriage/bond thing increase Tricia's lifespan as well? We're already gonna live a long ass time so I doubt we're not gonna have time

>>24915743
"If I remember correctly, the phoenix empire was just set UP by corrupt spirits, not actually currently run by them. Not looking forward to dealing with the phoenix empire either way, though. On the plus side, I'm hopeful about there being more places out there. Whether by sea, desert, or tundra, there's gotta be something beyond the great impassable regions. Even if it's just a more impassable region."

>>24915743
"Everyone needs a break some time."

Seriously. Make no mention of defeating Citadel.

>>24915743
>>24915803
This. We're can see *everything*, if we want. Or we can settle down. Or both, in alternating decades/centuries.

>>24915833
We've got to spend at least a few decades relaxing on top of the tower in the sun, scaring the piss outta training paladins when when suddenly lunge across the room to interrupt some shit.

>>24915860
I really look forward to that. I also look forward to fighting faster and faster while sparring with them until they just can't keep up. Good times.

>>24915743
"Hopefully we'll stop being busy at SOME point. I mean, it's unfair for one paladin and her occuli friends to take all the heroism, right?"

>>24915803
>>24915833
I don't think it's a matter of time available total, so much as time available VS crisises occuring.

>>24916059
"Become a paladin, they said! See the world, they said!"

>>24916081
And to think, odette was petitioning for us to be sent off to some backwater before she died.

Imagine how restful that might be.

>>24916097
If she sent us off to a backwater we would have discovered a massive plot to take over the world under a cloud of eternal darkness. All her efforts to get rid of us by throwing us at giant evils would have fed our legend, until the day that we are awarded the highest accolades in the realm and thank her profusely in our acceptance speech for believing in us when no-one else did.

"If I remember correctly, the phoenix empire was just set UP by corrupt spirits, not actually currently run by them. Not looking forward to dealing with the phoenix empire either way, though. On the plus side, I'm hopeful about there being more places out there. Whether by sea, desert, or tundra, there's gotta be something beyond the great impassable regions. Even if it's just a more impassable region.

"Hopefully we'll stop being busy at SOME point. I mean, it's unfair for one paladin and her Occuli friends to take all the heroism, right?"

"Thought we were Embers, or Lanterns, or something else instead of Occuli." Peri says. "Feels weird to say that we're one of those guys."

"They aren't all Reds." Lea says.

"Yeah." Peri says. "I know, but you know how it is. People equate the Occuli with the Red...ah here we are." She stops in front of the gorge.

It's...a gorge. Just a natural split in the rock floor. A slope down into it and dust and smaller rocks along the side. You have to admit, that this is a pretty decent hiding spot.

"Just tell me no more Teleports." Tricia groans. "I hate those things."

"No, hidden door...and here we are." She stops at a rock. It has strata in it, bands of different minerals that make up lines across it. "It's our favorite mineral. Normally we have a wand or a enchanted blast stone, but we have his majesty here. Light it up Mage." She says.

"A-hem!" Mage says.

"Sorry, light it up, your Majesty."

"Better." Mage says. "You're making me do this, I'm gonna milk it for all I can." He points his staff at the stone and shoots a lighting bolt at it. The Brillitite lights it up and Peri motions for you all to turn around. You see a clear carved door in the stone.

"Clever, no?" Peri says. "Quick, before the glow fades."

>>24916166
wait, actually, my mistake. the one TALKING to odette was the one who advocated sending us off.

Which I guess didn't pan out? We maybe left citadel before assignments. Or nobody can give assignments to the caligo clarus.

>>24916198
Ssen: Realize how very BAD an idea this is and how we don't have any solution for the language problem.

"Sure, sure. Time to see how many arrows they point at us."

Should we do one of those big introductions for mage, like they do in the fancy balls?

>>24916198
"Remember, your majesty, how Isen would enter a room?"

>>24916246
being Mage's herald might not be such a bad idea.

>>24916266
well, assuming we don't get shot.

And we don't die laughing.

What was his exact title, again? Dagda the good? that's it?

Push for a while before realizing it's a pull door.

Or vice versa.

Whatever we choose, it will be the opposite.

>>24916198
Can Ssen thunderously knock on the door with her tail?

>>24916456
>Can Ssen thunderously knock on the door with her tail?
Sure. If you'd like

>>24916513
Sounds like a suitably grand entrance for Dagda.

>>24916513
negates the "get through, quickly!" thing, but it makes for a nice entrance, so I like it.

Also, we have enough time to tell mage here that he should try, perhaps, whispering the old elvish to queen mab with his spell, so that it won't be disrupted by the other members of the court.

>>24916526
(Unless, of course, the plan is to enter stealthily.)

>>24916513
No point in not doing so. We're pretty much the picture of elite guard mook: We've got a polearm and everything

>>24916542
there is no guard more elite than Ssen.

Well, scratch that. Tara is a pretty damn good elite guard too. She gives us a run for the money.

Rolled 2

I don't see the point of a quiet entry. We're the reincarnation of Dagda and we have come to save our people and our queen from doing a terrible mistake that would destroy us.
Ssen, break down that door

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>>24916614
You know, it'll be fun to be taking the orders for once. We should adopt that cross-armed bouncer pose when not actively in use.

>>24916614
I started to wonder about your use of "we" there, and then I suddenly imagined Echo ending the thread with something like "Ssen knocks on the huge door, and you straighten your armband and throw the door open with a quick spell."

The anticipation might kill us.

>>24916552
>>24916542
>>24916526
"Okay, I will never EVER say this again but...think what would Isen do." You say.

Mage chokes back some laughter. "Okay, I'll try...hoo boy."

"Also, when you whisper sweet nothings into Mab's ear, do it in the old language."

"What exactly does that mean? Sweet nothings? Have any of you girls ever heard sweet nothings before?" Mage asks.

You raise you tail and bang it three times on the door.

Mage takes a deep breath.

"CHILDREN OF THE ELDERS. THOSE THAT DWELL WITHIN THE MOST...GREAT COURTS OF...GREATNESS." He shouts. You think he's using magic to amplify his voice a bit. "I, THE GREAT DAGDA THE WISE HAVE RETURNED TO THE SUMMERLANDS....FROM! FROM THE SUMMERLANDS...AND I AM HERE TO CLAIM MY COURT, MY HOME, AND MY BELOVED BRIDE!"

He looks at the rest of you. "Too much?"

>>24916646
"Under any normal circumstances, yes. But since when have we lived in normal circumstances? You're doing fine, just keep it up, my liege."

>>24916646
"Perfect, m'lord. Maybe even a bit more?"

>>24916646
Prepare to quick-quick block any projectiles that might head for mage

>>24916662
"Under any normal circumstances, yes. But since when have we lived in normal circumstances? You're doing fine, just keep it up, my liege."

The door opens, and three Fey Court elves in camo leather armor come out to look at you. "Okay," One of them says. "Funny joke. I know you mercs like to have your laughs, but trust me, you don't want to be here with that kind of stuff."

"Believe me folks." The other one says. "Take your money that you already got, and go. You don't want any part of what's going on."

>>24916692
Look at Mage, and let him take charge here. Be imposing as needed to back him up.

>>24916692
YOU DARE INSULT MY LIEGE?

(someone roll for brian blessed, I forgot the dice)

Rolled 10

>>24916714

>>24916692
Give mage a moment to take control of the situation. If he falters, move in to assist.
>>24916714
Perhaps start with this though, since it's delicious to me.

>>24916731
maybe throw in a lamia hiss and a wave of Beacon

>>24916714
"YOU DARE INSULT MY LIEGE?" You snap.

"Down!" Mage snaps. "You will forgive my servants. Now. Take us to Mab. I have been gone far too long, and the first thing I must see, now that I have come to my true self, is my beloved." He says.

The trio all reach for their blades. They aren't amused by this.

"Daddy!" A voice says. The three spin around, and immediately go to attention.

Comedy is standing in the doorway. She's forgone with the robes and now wears something loose and white and slightly transparent ontop of solid looking probably-not-normal-metal-chainmail. She's still wearing the mask, but you can see her golden hair and pointed ears now. She claps happily. "Oh, goody! Daddy's come home! Well boys, don't just stand there, bring him in, along with his servants. We'll go straight to the throne room!" She goes into the darkness, and the trio motions for you to go right ahead.

>>24916756
oh, comedy is in on it.

She must agree that this plan is just too humorous.

>>24916756
She's playing along. This is either going to go very badly. Or very well.

>>24916756
Oh, this is so not good.

>>24916756
Advance while maintaining a perimeter around Mage. We're the guardiest.

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>>24916773
>>24916767
>not good
>go very badly
It's fiiine
It's fine it's fine it's fine.

>>24916756
Welp. Break out the wheelbarrow for Mage's balls and follow.

>>24916756
I guess it's time to look as guardy as possible

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>Comedy playing along

I'm going to bed.

>>24916838
oh come on, it's not that unsettling.

Maybe the dramatae want to strike a deal for once that doesn't involve threatening us?

Let's play count-the-bows while we're guarding. It will be good to keep our head aswivel for threats, and it helps for more accurate boasting later.

>>24916847
>oh come on, it's not that unsettling.
nope.jpg

>>24916865
>Let's play count-the-bows while we're guarding. It will be good to keep our head aswivel for threats, and it helps for more accurate boasting later.

That would be quite an impressive act for a guard, indeed. "A hundred and forty three bows. Oh, wait, a hundred and forty four, didn't see you in the back there. That's just gross."

>>24916847
or Comedy is forced into playing along because of the elf story.

we can hope...

>>24916875
Seems like the most likely answer, but I'd expect her to demand proof at a minimum, and be extremely stringent about it. Given that she's supposed to be Dagda's daughter, Mage is going to get the pop quiz of doom, including the practical exam.

I just realized an important fact we didn't put together:

The council of people who would normally be delivering trials to us has been beheading. We're only answering to mab and comedy here.

>>24916885
er, beheaded, not beheading.

>>24916885
And Mab *wants* to believe us, and wants an excuse to get out of this crazy war. "Thistleblossom" is the wildcard here.

>>24916773
You head forward cautiously. You all exchange looks for a moment. You realize that the plan has officially gone sideways. This is bad.

You go through the forest that's inside the cave. Comey is happily humming some meandering tune as she skips ahead. She stops at a large door made of branches and glass.

"This is such a happy day! A day for happy families!" She says and opens it.

You follow. Queen Mab, who doesn't look too bad. She's in her mid-50s now, but looks good, if a little grey in the massive amount of hair that hangs behind her. (Granny is prettier though for comparison, Mab tries a bit too hard and the surgery makes her skin just a tad too tight in places.)

"Mommy!" Comedy says. "There's someone here who says he's Daddy, come back to Earth because he loves you so much!"

"That's...nice...dear." Mab says. You can tell in an instant. The Queen is absolutely terrified of Comedy. "I do so miss my Dagda." She looks at Mage with desperation. "Are you he, who is here to love, comfort, and help me?"

Mage nods. "Yes?" He clears his throat. "Yes. I am."

>>24916921
"And it's a super happy day because it's ALL about reunions." Comedy says. She points to the side. "Lovers..."

He's still missing a hand, but the flesh is black and his skin is greyish. You can see on his neck where the branding irons scalded him, and his limbs show the scars of where they cut him, or broke them. His eyes are the color of spoiled milk.

"Hey." Donovan says.

Peri just stares.

"And family!" Comedy says.

"No...no..." Lea says.

"Stand up straight, Lea." A voice says. A man steps forward. His flesh is gone, but his skin is still there, tight around him, like how corpses get when they are left in the hot desert air. He's dressed in loose robes, but he has on quicksilver bracers, and his stance is like Lea's. "I taught you better than that young lady."

"AUGH!" Tricia puts her hands over her ears and you can see her skin start to flicker back and forth between her skin and exposing her hive.

"Little one..." A buzzing sound says. "I always wanted to meet you..." A woman with red hair steps forward, red honey drips from her mouth, and the hole in her throat. You can see the wasps and other insects crawling around within it. "My dear, dear, niece." The woman says, her spoiled milk eyes looking a Tricia with nothing but love.

"And finally..." Comedy gestures. "A special treat...first..."

A light is light and you see Julian, tied to a post. He's been stripped down to his underclothes, and he's obviously been whipped, branded, and his nose has been slit. "Run. Ssen...run." He says.

"But that's not all!" Comedy says as she points behind you.

>>24916925
You turn...and you look at a woman with the same cold, greyish skin as the others. Her eyes are rotten milk in color, and her red hair is slightly falling out. Also you can see that part of her face has been stitched back together. You don't need to look down to know that she has a snake body.

The woman puts a hand on your cheek. Smiles at you, and then kisses you forehead softly, before going to join Comedy and the others.

"What's wrong Paladin Serpent?" Comedy says. "You've always been one for speeches...have you nothing to say to your mother?"

>>24916926
And on THAT note, we close for the evening.

Next thread...and I am SO sorry about this...Wednesday May 22, 3-5pm PST.

Sleep tight!

>>24916933
You motherfucker.

>>24916926
>>24916925
>>24916921
I have to say, the worksmanship on this entire situation is quite good. Comedy does good work.

>>24916925
>>24916926
All of this, and I still hate Tragedy more because of Robin, Ryan, and Jessi. But I have to admit, Comedy definitely managed to blindside us there.

All four of them have the rotten-milk eyes, but Mab does not, right?

>>24916926
>I'm cool with it, time to deal with this shit
>>24916933
>WEDNESDAY
oh no. Oh no but I'm on the edge of my seat again. You bring me to the edge of my seat, and leave me there for days.

>>24916949
>All four of them have the rotten-milk eyes, but Mab does not, right?

Mab and Comedy, yes.

>>24916926
>"What's wrong Paladin Serpent?" Comedy says. "You've always been one for speeches...have you nothing to say to your mother?"

Not to the one who called us Ssaud, no.

>>24916955
OK, then we have some hope.

>>24916955
Oh and Julian has normal eyes too.

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>>24916926
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!

>>24916955
Well, I think Ssen might be pretty dumbstruck by this one. Something along the lines of "I have to admit, this is a new one"

I mean, we've not actually dealt with ZOMBIES. Vampires and ghouls and things-that-were-living-but-are-now-kinda-dead sure, but nothing dead then back.

>>24916921
>>24916925
>>24916926
sonovabitch.

>>24916968
Yup. But at least we know what kind of humor Comedy goes for. Her jokes are long-dead.

>>24916933
By the way, didn't manage to stay up long enough last thread to say it, but: congrats on fifty(-one) threads!

By far the best and best-written story I've read in quite a while, and I don't just mean quests either.

>>24916978
Yes. My vote is we start dumbstruck, and then move onto puns.

Because goddamn if this isn't tragic, and I'm not dealing with that from comedy.

Lots of "the final nail in the coffin"s and "beating a dead horse"s and "She's dying out there" ones.

Well, after all the build-up to what a fucked up individual comedy was, she certainly didn't disappoint.

I would ask if we're still going with this plan, but honestly at this stage it looks like all the elves are so scared of Thistleblossom that even if we can prove Mage is Dagda, no-one's going to switch sides.

>>24916985
I think it could really use an editor for coherent wording, but otherwise, I'm really enjoying it.

>>24916987
Yup. We need to react in full unfazed not-a-single-fuck-was-given-that-day mode.

>>24917000
Note: this is probably an act. Many fucks were given.

Don't tell anybody about it until AFTER we stab comedy right up, though.

>>24916925
I wonder how good Lamia bites work on zombies. I mean they wouldn't be able to move with jellied bones.

>>24916997
On occasion, when we make with the major speechifying in a hurry, yeah. Happy to volunteer where possible (that's how I got my name after all), or for when this gets compiled later.

>>24917013
eh, they also don't have circulation systems, so they'd have to be quite well aimed bites, to important mobility bones.

>>24917013
It wouldn't be that effective due to a lack of pumping blood.

Also we'd probably have to roll to avoid retching when we got a mouthful of rotten flesh.

>>24917007
Honestly, I'm more bothered on Peri, Lea, and Tricia's behalf than I am about Ssen's mother, if it even is Ssen's mother.

And she didn't even try to pull off something against Mari.

>>24916926
>>24916933
I'm just glad she didn't manage to dig up (heh) Mage's sister.

>>24917028
>And she didn't even try to pull off something against Mari.

Maybe she'd planned to include Tragedy, but he's too busy being kicked in the dick right now.

Of course our best bet is a beacon flare to cancel out all magic in the area.

>>24917028
Same. The loved ones from the grave is a low blow. Of course we know they are all puppets but its an effective strategy

Until you take into account that hostage taking has NEVER worked on Ssen.

>>24917028
Do... Do the dramatae not know about mari?

But yeah, it seems to really be getting to our teammates. Also, we're going to make the BIGGEST fucking grave for each of these motherfuckers after we kill them. No crying like a bitch though. We'll blame it on the rain.

>>24917037
Tragedy wouldn't even faze Mari, at this point.

Oh I just thought of something. This HAS to be Thistleblossom's magic at work. Could Mage do a dispell since we know her Name?

>>24917046
>Do... Do the dramatae not know about mari?

Seems unlikely that they don't know, given that Mari was the planned body for Tragedy's wife.

>>24917055
>Oh I just thought of something. This HAS to be Thistleblossom's magic at work. Could Mage do a dispell since we know her Name?

That's what I was thinking about when asking who had the milky eyes.

>>24917055
Perhaps, and he could make some suitably grandiose speech about the insult of bringing such aberrations of magic before Dagda reborn.

>>24917055
if we knew the spell and had the artifact used to cast it, yes.

>>24917039
>loved ones from the grave is a low blow
Also kind of cliche! "Zombie loved ones? Talk about beating a dead horse."

"I guess it's true what they say, your sense of humor is long-dead."

"What's wrong? You're dead silent"

>>24917065
Unless we just want to drop the entire thing. Mab seems suffeciently terrified to take any rescue at this point.

>>24917065
"My own daughter, reduced to necromancy? Don't think you're too old to take over my knee, missy."

So the plan is for Ssen to stand shocked for a minute then start breaking into graveyard humor and puns?

>>24917082
Mab will need the pretense, but only the thinnest veil of pretense.

She was corrupt, called us Ssaud, and killed our sisters. She may have given birth to us, but we had only one parent, and we buried him in River's Crossing.

>>24917094
Skip the minute; we don't have time for it, and the others definitely don't.

>>24917094
A paladin doesn't hesitate.

>>24917097
That's the perfect response.