My DM has a string of dick moves going on right now.

Pretty much goes like this.

((I don't know how to green stuff))

>Max roll to convince enemy to retreat instead of fighting us in a completely unfair fight were we would murder them.
>Said enemy casually kills two NPCs who we've invested in protecting just for the sake of it.
>Max roll to disarm a city's built in self destruct sequence.
>Villain who fled burns down our base while were busy. We show up in time to fight him in the burning building. Little girl NPC who lives to be there is trapped behind fire.
>Not allowed to attempt to save her.
>Literally pray to established goddess who has the established power to save peoples lives by teleporting them to her realm. Starts to pull in party.
>Leaves little girl.
>Retconned that she wasn't able to get her before she was mortally injured. Given the option of braving afterlife in order to save her.
>Do so.
>Oh what's this? Yeah, that soul you retrieved is some unrelated ass hole.

Really getting sick of this shit.

Huh. Evidently I do know how to do the green stuff.

I posted this before, but right now is the only thing that comes to mind
>3.5
>Level 7
>Party is formed by Fighter (Medieval Paladin), Barbarian (Stronk with oversized great axe and power attack), Kobold Spiritual Shaman, Monk with TWF for maximun atatata (my first monk ever) and Rogue/Fighter/healer princess mononke special snowflake character
>Evil guy mind rapes the barbarian so in this encounter he's under evil guy's command
>Fighter decides to go all in against the barbarian, I decide to help him
>Rest of the group is dealing with minions and mooks
>Roll initiative
>I go first
>Move into barbarian's possition
>Stunning fist...I miss
>Fighter goes second
>Charges, Hits, deals damage
>Barbarian attacks me, hits, deals enough damage to worry me
>I go again
>Flurry of blows with Stunning, grapple, grapple, trip, trip
>Miss everything
>Decide move back 5'
>Oh, boy, greatest mistake ever
>Fighter attacks, hits, deals low damage
>Just so you know, fighter has more AC, HP, better attack than me
>Barbarian rages, Power attacks, Nat20, confirms, rolls damage dices, hyperhigh (not maximun, but almost), deals damage x3 plus flametongue great axe or something like that
>Instant kill the fighter even though he had all his HP, fuck he could almost double kill the fighter
>DM and Fighter player look at meç
>Fighter player is ubermad
>"What the fuck dude?...why did you fleed?, the fuck is wrong with you?"
>"B-but I just m-moved 5'..."
>"Well, that was a dick move, anon, I'm thinking I should change your alignment from LN to chaotic at least"
>DM and Fighter player leads the conversation
>"B-but...I just..."
>Manage to convince everyone in the table
>Either I roll a new PC, because mine is untrustworthysmith backstabbinson or I leave the table

To this day the Fighter player still has a grudge against me, if we were playing roll he is suspicious of every action I make, and has counter plans to kill me.

>>25151318

Your DM is shit.

>>25151013

Your DM is shit.

>>25148048

Your DM is an asshole.

>>25151415
Well, that's kind of the point for this thread.

>>25151318
Release your inner monk
Punch them in the dick

>>25151318
And this one also with different group
>Pathfinder
>Lvl 5-6 I believe
>Me, a Half elf rogue
>Kingdom maker campaign
>Following a little cunt blue creature that looks like a goblin with glowing eyes (don't remember the name)
>It's a trap
>A gargantuan centipede comes out of the ground
>Roll initiative
>I go first (improved initiative)
>Cast acid splash (minor magic to get magic shield 3 times per day)
>I miss
>Druid goes next, attacks, deals damage
>Druid's bear goes next, attacks, deals damage
>Paladin goes next, Smite Evil, creature isn't evil, still his and deals damage
>Bard goes next, Inspires courage
>DM "For the centipede attacks I'm going to roll a dice to see who attacks, because it's a stupid creature and attacks at random"
>We're more or less ok
>Rolls...the rogue
>Attacks me, deals lot of damage
>Next turn, I cast shield
>Everybody attacks some deals damage others miss
>DM Rolls...the rogue again
>Hits and buttfucks me. I'm unconscious
>Next turn. Paladin heals me, rest attacks, some deals damage others miss
>DM rolls again...the rogue fucking again
>Unconscious again
>This for 4 more turns until the paladin is out of healing
>Every "random" centipede roll ends attacking the rogue
>End of encounter: Everybody OK, not a single wounded not even 1HP, except me...I'm dead

I must say the party in general was being fucking mean against my character, denying me flanking, letting me deal with incredible dangerous situations while they went against easy targets (Once we were trapped and slaved, sold as gladiators and we had to fight against 2 ogres and one human archer...they left me with the ogres and they went against the archer) and going mad if I do the opposite (go against easy targets) because "hurr durr you deal more damage!"

The only decent player was the paladin.

Later I discovered they group hate rogues, but they decided not to tell me and go full passive agressive on me.

>>25151607
Fuck your group. Rogues are useful.

>>25151607
>Hating Rogues
>Hating Rogues
>Hating a god damn Skill Monkey class who can help the Party in most situations.
Maybe it's because I like Skill Monkeys, maybe it's because my first good character was a rogue,but I get angry when people hate rogues.

>>25151607
Wow, an entire group of shitheel losers.

>>25151318
They were right, anon. 5' means nothing, if the barbarian wanted to hit you specifically he could have move and hit you, so moving 5' and not doing it means nothing, you just did it hoping the barbarian might attack the closest target, the fighter.

>>25151607
>DM says he's going to do something at random
>Every body agrees
>PC complains because the result wasn't favorable
Wut?

>>25151687
If the DM was rolling behind a screen, then you know the rest.

>>25151658
>>moving 5' and not doing it means nothing
He specifically said that he attacked that round before moving.

>>25151013
Your DM is a shitweasel. Crush his nuts with a meat tenderizer.

>>25151687
>This monster is dumb and going to attack randomly
>All attacks go to the same target

>>25151695
Even if he wasn't rolling behind the screen, you can't call something a dick move if everyone had agree to do it.

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>3.5
>Friend and I playing twin bards in lesbians
>Other guy playing halfling rogue
>Classy as fuck party, travelling from town to town putting on shows while the rogue picks pockets.
>New guy joins, wants to play an orc. Full orc. Oh. He can't speak or write.
>mfw
>DM: "Okay."
>mfw
>Orc rapes the twins and kills the rogue within 2 hours of the session starting. DM does nothing despite several (very direct) complaints that we are feeling uncomfortable.
>DM says it's our fault for not speaking up.
>mfw

>>25151701
>This monster is dumb and going to attack randomly
>All attacks go to the same target, who didn't damage it at all, ignoring all the other threats
Dumb indeed

>>25151711
Uh... Three of you couldn't handle one orc?

>>25151720
Being that dumb I have no idea how it survived until that point. However if you witness a monster concentrating all it's effort on one target of many, would you call it random?

>>25151726
House rule is that PC-to-PC RP's not handled via dice. Orc stronk.

>>25151726
Not too hard if he killed the rogue first, then got the sisters one by one.

>>25151711
How would the orc even get to the party or be with them in any capacity beyond fighting? It can't speak and it's an orc, that's the thing you kill.

>>25151746
Well, at least a rule like that can't be easily abused.

Oh wait.

>>25151711
Maybe it's just me but even if it's a game I'd knock the living shit out a player that joins midgame and pulls that shit.

>>25151803
This.

I imagine the DM had some sort of problem with how the game was progressing to allow it to be so completely derailed and destroyed like that.

Also PC-on-PC rapes, super classy right there.

>>25151803
Same
Take one of those heavy ass rule books. Stand up. And just smash the guy's face with it.

>>25151607
And the last one
>Anima BF
>DM comes with an original idea
>"Lets play from level 0"
>Us "Mmmmokay?"
>Do characters
>DM says NO to almost everyone
>Me "Ok, how about if you do my character seeing that none of the ones I made seem to fit this campaign?"
>DM "Ok"
>Oh boy
>Character seems awesome, but that's the problem, It looks like an overpowered dude, who actually can't do shit because all powers go against each other. Basically he was like those guys from Naruto who copy techniques, all points were spent in that, but he hadn't "ki" to copy, like a wizard without mana. Doesn't matter you can copy everything if you don't have the mana to copy.
>Campaign starts with inquisition attacking our village
>We escape through a cave, but inquisition was also there trying to steal a magic book
>We "tried" to ignore the book, but DM directly railroaded so we had to go for the book
>"It was a trap all along"
>The book desintegrates my right arm (DM specifically asked me if I were left handed or right handed so I have penalties from that)
>And fuse with my heart
>Now everybody is against us, EVERYBODY
>We are level 1
>People of level 7 or so are our monday encounters
>DMPCs all over the place
>One of them attacks me for shits and giggles
>I respond
>"What? You're hostile against him?"
>He rapes me
>We can't die
>We can't roll new characters
>We are stuck there forever doing nothing and being irrelevant
>Basically I'm just a mcguffing in a group of DMPCs

We complained and complained, until we said "ok, so long" and left, DM stopped being our friend, thank god.

>>25151820

My old group once had a PC2PC sex instance happen once. My character worshipped a dark sex goddess (whose name I can't remember, but the art was cool looking) and was supposed to fuck the first girl he saw in a town. Failed a perception check, and only saw our Halfling Cleric (estoy Half-Elf Bard).

Via some epic dialogue and a roll or two (the DM was laughing too hard to not give it a chance to happen)(Also I nat20'd twice in a row on these) our characters fucked (that was not RP'd).

I rolled for how well I perfomed.

I rolled a 2 (No modifiers).

>>25148048
Should roll up a deaf oracle.
Go for lore or whatever and start with 20AC.
Just to show him that being a cunty dm is not okay.

>>25151831
What the fuck.

>>25151820
Either that or the DM and new player planned it so they could jack it under the table.

>>25151711
I'd beat the living the shit out of the new guy and then rape him twice.

>Join a group where everyone else knows each other
>System is some dumbass skill point setup, each character gets like 5 skill points
>GM allows every other player to have godmode psychic powers for ONE SKILL POINT
>Everyone else bullies the fuck out of my character, who gets robbed, sexually assaulted, beat up, etc. and then mindwiped or emotionally controlled to not care
>Eventually decide "fuck this" and say my character commits suicide due to all this stupid shit
>GM lets them psychically abort that too
>Dipshit doesn't quite seem to understand that that was my way of saying I wasn't showing up anymore, was surprised when I didn't

Fuck the whole world, I am never again joining a game as "the outsider." I have plenty more stories of other groups.

>DM states that I have not died in one of his games for a long time.
>Not 20 fucking minutes later.
>Make a save that is absurd, and frankly not possible.
>Then NPC whom is normally peaceful and gets along with my character kills me.

>>25151877
This with
>>25151826's rule book.

>>25151892
Is it weird that after all the horror stories I hear on /tg/ I bring a heavy ass book with me "just in case"?

>>25151886
It has always baffled me how much PC-death other tabletop groups experience.. I may be new to tabletops, but even after ~2 years of tabletop gaming, I've never seen a PC die in session... Either my GMs are soft, or people everywhere else is just gigantic dicks.

>>25151831
Sorry, I lied I have a few more stories.
>Vampire Dark Ages
>ST says we're going to "roll" humans and then, if everything goes well, we turn into vampires
>ST says the campaign is going to be full interpretative, with almost no combat so we must make characters accordingly
>Me, Italian inventor/mathematician (Homage of Fibonacci) who is also a ladies man. Everything into charisma, intelligence, wits, subterfuge and knowledges
>Rest are Non-Conan the Rape Barbarian, Sir Non-Lancelot the Master swordman ladies man and Non-Vlad Tepes the Slavik Nobleman who is god tier in unarmed combat and fence
>Me "waaaaaaaaaat?"
>Campaign turns into murderhoboing: the campaign
>Average monday is fighting a pack of werewolves
>Everytime I tried to use charisma, subterfuge to evade an encouter people start to complain
>DM went along
>Didn't let me change my character
>I became That Guy
>"Huur Duur, you made a bad character and now you're complaining, stop being that guy"

>Go to local GM's new campaign.
>Hoping to roll a Cavlier.
>Nope, time for 4th Ed; Skyworld Pirates - starting 10th level.
>Roll up a Halfing Warlord with a High Ride and lots of ally healing dailies; ask if I can have a flying mount.
>GM grudgingly gives me it, expects bullshit even though I'm the only non ranged or caster character in the campaign.
>Eventually through the campaign wrangle me a Wyvern during the defense of a elven city.
>GM does everything he can to try and get this thing killed, I'm using my powers left and right to keep it standing and my animal handling skills to keep it from walking into walls of pikes.
>Eventually bullshits me into instantly being knocked off it by a Orc's attack, even though I should get a ride check to avoid that shit.
>It instantly flies off, even though I was forcing it to avoid mulching everything nearby a second ago, don't get to oppose it's initiative.
>GM: "You wouldn't be having fun with it, you'd just get frustrated when you couldn't use it."
>Next session he decides the elves want us to vanguard their counter-attack on the orcs.
>We're just 3 pirates who're getting ported around by an old sailor we saved.
>During the last session we got the plot mcguffin from the enemy and can go back to the human lands to get paid for retrieving it.
>Had agreed with the ranger (Only other player who made it for that session and the GM's girlfriend) last session that was our plan.
>Tell the elf queen thats cool but we're not going, it's their fight not ours.
>Manage to argue the queen into a corner, basically that she'ld go against goodness and freedom to force us into it and that they owe us respect since we helped stop their whole city dropping out the sky like the big rock it is.
>Out of character ranger claims that wasn't the plan, even though we agreed to it.
>GM says the elf queen kisses my halfling and he has to make a will check. The coming Auto-failure was expected of course. Says i'm under a Geas to lead the attack.
(Cont)

>>25151879
How do people think this is okay.

>>25151953
In WoD is ok.
I never seen a WoD campaign in where everybody weren't got tier level dicks, well, me at the begining until I leart that being a nice guy in that game equals instant death/rape/all of the above.

>>25151879
Currently dealing with that myself. I'm just trying to play a rogue, have a good time, and be useful, there's no reason for people to be acting like cunts
>Oh wait, there's girls in the group, that's why! Let's let the princesses run around and do their over-descreptive bullshit with internal monologuing and mary sue lovefest, while we fuck over the guy trying to complete the mission.

>>25151906
My heavy ass book's my anatomy textbook. 4 kgs of pure dead tree in that motherfucker.

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>mfw want to get into D&D, Dark Heresy, Shadowrun & co.
>mfw lurking on /tg/ to nab some advice here and there
>mfw reading about how horrible the GMs can be
>think filename
>Tell myself "Maybe i should stick to my daily routine"
>mfw when mfw

>>25151921
Same anon. My group has had its share. Not a whole lot though. Enough to make you think about encounters. Just with that though, fuck that guy. He could have at the very least waited a week or something but 20 god damn minutes.

>>25151934
Well that's...horrifically unfair.

>the party is attacked by spiders, on a paved road at the edge of a forest
>my turn comes, the only spell I can cast is fire-based
>I hit and kill a spider
>instead of dropping dead right there, it RUNS a good 50 feet into the forest and up a tree, setting the tree on fire
>somehow I'm the bad guy here, as if I made it do that
Why yes, I "should have known" you would pull that exception to the rules out of your ass that one time.

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>join D&D group through college club
>these guys are the most dumbass lolrandumb people you can imagine, it's a wonder we get anything done
>early on I try to keep the campaign moving but quickly realize I'm being seen as "that guy" and just go with the flow
>even so, there are worse ways to spend Saturday afternoons, so I keep going
>eventually have to miss a session due to grandfather's funeral
>GM tells me not to show up from now on
>"If you're not going to attend, you're not really that into the game"
>mfw

>>25151974
There's good games out there anon, really, there are. Before starting to play with a group, hang out with them. If they're constantly trying to tease/mess with you/be immature assholes, deuce out, because honestly, the best game in the world won't be worth dealing with douchebags.

>>25151969
Structure engineering book of more or less that weight, I fucking donwloaded it into my i-book
>You can't use it in exams
fuck you college.

>>25151975
Yeah.. The whole "You haven't died for a long time"-thing is even more absurd to me..
I don't mind PC-deaths, as long as they fit in naturally with the story/plot/encounter..
But just killing characters out of nowhere for shits and giggles is beyond me comprehension.

>>25151989
It's people like these that make me hate everyone but my friends.

This is a really minor one but it was pretty annoying.

>Play in BESM high school game (shut up)
>Decide to make a character akin to Chiyo from Azumanga Daioh
>Take Girl Magnet flaw because other girls find me cute
>GM behaves as if I took Guy Magnet because my 12-year-old female character is sexually attractive
>Constantly get hit on
>Constantly explain to him that this is completely wrong
>Nothing changes

What the fuck, man!

>>25151607

The MITE! I fucking love those guys!
they are basically shit-tier ex-faery with a natural affinity for vermins

I find it unbelievable that groups can be this fucking petty. Holy shit, how fucking much of a meta-beta faggot must you be to hold a grudge against a guy who is ACTING (READ: PLAYING) as another person (the rogue story particularly got me).

I know it's nerds we're talking about but surely there must be something in their brains that actually seperates reality from the goddamn game

>>25151974
I'm this guy >>25151932 >>25151831 >>25151607 >>25151318 and since 3 years ago I have a wonderful group with an awesome DM, he made 3.5 fun again (yeah, seems impossible but it's true), but he DMs other systems too.

>>25151020
the magic is in the ">"

Not really an unfair thing. Just kind of sad and unlucky.

>party is at the end of the dungeon
>DM reveals that there is a white dragon waiting for us
>being the silly guy that he is our mage runs in and decides to tank the dragon
>I spend all of the encounter healing and buffing our mage so he doesn't die
>I end up guardian countering the dragon to take damage for the mage
>bloodied
>mage backs up and decides to try and hit the dragon with a spell
>critical miss
>kills me
>spend the rest of the encounter stabilized but not being able to do anything

We killed the dragon but, I felt so betrayed.

>>25151934
(Sorry if it's a bit long winded, hard to cut things down without missing important things)
>To end the diplomacy if you can call it that the sorcerer says he kicks my halfing in the balls because 'Hue hue, funny' and the GM ok's it immediately.
>Decide to get my own back on the elves, since i'm a Chaotic-Neutral Halfing (I rolled my starting alignment FYI) and nobody steals my freedoms.
>Gather small kegs of cannon powder for my plan from the elven warship.
>Take my mount, pick up orcs, drop orcs at the elven battle lines then throw explosive kegs at the falling orc.
>Point out my logic that while I wouldn't be able to attack elves directly I wasn't bound to not hurt elves through collateral damages.
>GM gets butthurt, starts to spout about how I don't help the party.
>I am literally a healbot with my current setup and I have always played the party healer for this group since it loves rogues and fire-based sorcerers more than living.
>It's around about now I notice how handy a wyvern would have been for attacking this city considering I have free reign of the skies.
>party breaks the orc lines, I regroup with them rather than blowing up more elves and we have an encounter with the BBEG.
>Suddenly Kracken.
>We flee because it's obvious we can't fight it.
>Chase drags on, GM insists that because I have the lowest initiative for the party that i'm in last.
>Kracken is doing 3 attacks a turn all against me even though it's moving to follow us.
>Each hit is about 1/3'd of my HP.
>Naturally they get to the escape-ship as soon as I die.

I decided to leave the group after that, it'd been part of a long consistent chain of bullshit only I seemed to have to put up with. Next time GM sees me he takes the time to boast about how good a player my 'replacement' is.

>Later I clocked it up and i'ld been paying about £40 a week in transport costs, snacks for people, wine bottles to share with the party and paying for everyone's takeout when I didn't bring food.

This would be too damn long to greentext. Also I've posted it before, like 3+ years ago, so if you recognize it then there you go.

The GM told us that this would be a pirate campaign in a high-powered fantasy setting, so all of us were encouraged to make very powerful characters. Everyone but me made so-beautiful-it's-a-curse mary-sue magic-users; I decided instead to make a really good fighter. He was a middle-aged, retired master swordsman whose wife unexpectedly died, leaving him needing a new job to provide for their daughter. I ended up with one measly skill point left over after tricking out my sword skills to the max, so I put it in the cheapest skill available, cooking - a single dad needs to be able to cook, right? (This may sound munchkin-y on my part, but I made this character with the explicit encouragement and approval of the GM.)

So each of us roleplays our introduction to the NPC captain and joining the crew. The other five players basically all had the same discussion: "What can you do?" "I'm a magician." "Great, we need those! You're hired!" Then it comes around to me:

GM (as the captain): "What can you do?"
Me: "I'm a master swordsman."
GM: "We already have plenty of swordsmen, can't you do anything else?"
Me: "I'm better than all of them, I assure you."
GM: "Don't care."
Me: (long silence while it sinks in that this game probably won't go well) "I can... cook?"
GM: "Okay, you're the cook."

(con't)

>>25152063

Oh well, I think, I'll have a chance to show off when we get in a fight. Except we then proceed to have four sessions of literally being The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything. We never committed any piracy at all, or even met any other ships; it was four three-hour sessions of "character interaction" that would put a soap opera to shame. Imagine if Twilight was set on a boat in the middle of nowhere, and you have an idea of all the stupid, convoluted romance that went on with all the other PCs and NPCs. Nobody was interested in the forty-year-old, unattractive single dad cook, and there wasn't any kind of overarching plot for me to try to advance, so I didn't get a whole lot of screen time. Oh, and just to add insult to injury, none of the other PCs had to eat. So I didn't even get to see them at meals. I would just pipe up now and again that I was spending time with my daughter when I wasn't cooking, and other than that I was pretty much the audience. Yes, I know it was stupid of me not to quit after the first session of this. I was new to it and didn't know better.

(geez, this character limits are kinda strict. Ending to go up momentarily)

>>25152074
The last straw was when we docked for shore leave. The PCs all split up on the island we were at, and I decided to explore the island with my daughter and try to find some kind of actual plot hook. Then the GM relates the following to me:

GM: Okay, you meet three teenage boys walking the other way as you're walking through town with your daughter.
Me: I have places to go, I ignore them.
GM: They stand in your way. "Hey old man, we want to date your daughter! Stand aside!"
Me: Uh, she's nine years old...
GM: Whatever. What do you do?
(At this point, I've literally never rolled dice for my poor master swordsman since the campaign started, and I decided he was ready to hand out a beating.)
Me: I quick-draw my sword with a flourish. "Sorry, but if you want to bother my daughter, you'll have to go through me first!" If that doesn't scare them off, I'll just hit them with the flat of my blade if they come at me, GM.
GM: Yep, they come at you!
Me: (I start to reach for my dice)
GM: Oh, no need to roll, wouldn't it be funny if they kicked your butt? So they do! You're left in a heap at the side of the road, and your daughter is so impressed that she leaves with them.
Me: ...

(fin)

>>25151932

>Homage to Fibonacci
>hurr dhurr Non-Lancelot

>>25151969

Do you by chance use the Grey's anatomy?

>>25152080
Sorry, but isn't the same, I made an non combatant character for an interpretative campaign when he made a full metal plate british knight master swordman who only roleplayes if there're orgy involved for an interpretative campaign.

>>25152032
Here's the thing.
The game is meant to be fun for all involved. Ruining other people's fun is not cool. Nevermind the fact some people are cunts OOC

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>>25152079
>MFW

Holy shit, that rustles my jimmies something fierce. I want to find your GM and punch him as hard as I can, again and again, until he stops moving.

>>25152097
This

>>25152079
>Oh, no need to roll, wouldn't it be funny if they kicked your butt? So they do
Wat.

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>>25152079
That actually made me mad.

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:3c

>>25152079
Please tell me you're an elaborate troll.
I don't think my belief in humanity can take a beating like this if it was true.
Please tell me it was all a lie.

>>25152079
I cannot even begin to express how angry that story just made me.

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>>25152117
Pffft, that's nothing compared to B.B. Blue.

Fuck that guy. Fuck everything. THIS LAND MUST BE PURGED IN CLEANSING FIRE, BLOOD FOR THE-

>>25152079
Anon Let me repeat
Grab a heavy ass book. Stand up. Apply repeatedly to the face(of the other guy).

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>>25152079
>No need to roll dice
Speechless. You should've told that guy that his DMing would be better suited to writing shitty graphic novels that only a small demographic of retarded 10 year olds would buy

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>>25152079
>You're left in a heap at the side of the road, and your daughter is so impressed that she leaves with them.

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>>25152106
Don't do that.

>>25152079
>mfw

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>Ruin GM's previous games with spellcaster character that GM let get away with too much shit
>Rather than restrict me as a player, he restricts all spellcasters when we switch to AD&D 2e
>All mages have a random set of spells they can learn at first level
>Mages also only have a 60% chance of learning the 7 spells the GM rolls for them randomly
>New players who barely know how to play are only ones to roll well enough to be mages
>One mage isn't even present when his spells are being rolled, and basically fails to learn about 4 of 7 possible spells
>He now can't learn some basic spells needed to survive low levels until next level
>GM is confused when new player who has a gimped mage sulks all game that he can't really do anything or contribute in any meaningful way
>Meanwhile I ruin his encounters with my shiny new gambler dart-slinging fighter modeled after pic-related

>>25152165
My apologies, I shall not repeat it.

>>25152048
>kills you
>Rest of encounter stable
What?

>>25152174
You're a dick. But you're the lovable kind.

>>25152191
Sorry I'm still new to D&D what I meant was that he brought my HP down to 0 and one of the party members was kind enough to walk over and stabilize me.

>DM decides to do mystery campaign
>Have us investigate mysterious masked men who keep coming into town at night
>All attempts to investigate fail, we turn up nothing more than than "well they come through around X pm..."
>When we complain to the DM, he blames us for roleplaying it out instead of calling for gather information rolls
>He stages an encounter where one of the masked men walks into the inn we are staying at and throws the naked, unconcious bodies of two of our party onto the floor
>The masked man who did it refuses to answer any questions and leaves
>DM acts dissapointed when we don't attack him
>Later reveals the masked men are a group of high level spellcasters that are important to the plot
>Nevermind, we persist and continue to discuss plans
>He keeps interrupting us to say "Oh wow you guys are so going to die"
>Ask DM whether he is trying to railroad us because none of us find it amusing or entertaining
>He insists he has an awesome plot thought up, starts blaming us for not moving the campaign along fast enough

>>25152219
Uhh.... you don't need to be stabilized at 0 health.

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Dick moves aren't always a bad thing.

>Have a super powergamer in the group
>Constantly lectures others about optimal point spending
>His topic of the day: How could you guys waste so many skill points on extra languages, totally worthless
>Couple of hours later, we meet up with the plot NPC we've been looking for
>He speaks basically every language but English
>Every other player's face when

>>25151932
>Do what DM asks
>Rest ignores the DM and do whatever they want
>Don't allowed to change character
>You're That Guy
What the fuck?

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>>25152174

I like the cut of your jib.

>>25151865
What didn't you understand?

>>25151652
>Ninjas are useful.
Fixed that for you

One time my DM did several dick moves in a game.

Literally, he kept moving his dick around.

>>25152247
>Being a Bard
>Spend skill points only in instruments, dance and extra languages
>Everybody speaks common
Well, wouldn't matter, my attributes were low enough and we only played until level 6 so...

>>25152221
>"Oh wow you guys are so going to die"

God I hate that so fucking much. my regular DM and good friend of mine does a horrible fake laugh whenever he gets out the stats for the monster we're about to face.

we usually steamroller it within 4 turns thanks to my brothers elf magus and my bear obsessed druid

>>25152272
B-but speaking every language with max bluff is the most useful thing you can have!

>>25152255
How a DM stupid enough to come up with that sort of shit manages to drink a glass of water without drowning.

>>25151921
our dm seems to like to pull the "fuck your party over or die instantly" card
my pc got a magic artefact bound to him that will incinderate him the moment he strays from the BBEG's plan. i know this because another pc had an identic artefact bound to her arm. didn't turn out to well for her. i rolled for wisdom and courage, got a crit fail and a crit success, and so my pc is looking foreward to go out in a blazing act of defiance. litteraly

>>25151658
The squishy, low defense monk wants the plate armoured fighter to get hit? Nah, ya think? That attack was killing whoever it hit. Why would a character based around mobility take the hit when the class famous for holding the line doesn't get attacked?

>First time playing DnD.
>First time RPGing, ever.
>Roll up character, and join low level (about L5) party.
>I don't know any of them, was introduced through a mutual friend.
>Be some sort of fighter or something.
>Basically hit things with a sword, and roll what they tell me.
>We reach the end of the dungeon, no problems.
>"Are you ready to fight the evil beast?"
"Sure, go on [DM]"
>He whips out his cock, and whacks off.
>Apparently, he'd been doing it under the table.
>Because suddenly jizz.
>All over the table.
>
>nobody else seems to think this is weird.
>
>Calmly get up, leave, and never speak to them ever again.

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>Campaign is going to cap off with an epic war
>Spend whole sessions rallying troops, hiring mercenaries, securing loyalties
>GM is oddly uninterested
>Declare you're well and truly ready
>"Okay, so what are your final numbers? I'll build the encounters off that"

Current DM :

>Railroads our party whenever we do something he doesn't want
>If we go down a corridor he doesn't want us to go, the corridor mysteriously becomes inaccessible or we find ourselves back at the starting point
>Doors he doesn't want us to use cannot be opened by any means
>Introduces "awesome" puzzles that nobody has any idea how to solve and refuses to explain the logic behind them after it is all over

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>>25151969
I use an old dictionary of English and Spanish words my parents got my aunt got me when I was eight, rougly 17 pounds of book with about 45 different words for fucktard.
>Mfw I once used it against a burglar.

>DM hates casters
>Hates overpowered classes and PCs
>Low point buy attributes
>We do mediocre PCs until he agrees
>Meatgrinder campaign
>Fucking hardcore encounters
>One or two of us dies in every session
>TPK every 3 sessions
>We try to be strategic as fuck, but magic items (low powered also we don't have any money) like grease, bag of roots (or whatever) and stuff
>Still dying hard
>Somehow he doesn't undestand the problem
>"Maybe, just maybe, is that the encounters are settled for more powerful characters?"
>"No, you just simply don't know how to play"

>>25151845
"that was not PR'd"
taht was IRL?! u sick fucks

>>25152329
oh i forgot he also doesn't get roleplaying.

everytime we try to roleplay he stares at us blanky and us to clarify.

we have to resrot to saying things in game terms like "i check this door for traps instead of roleplaying it.

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>>25152360

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>>25152323

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>>25152360
You'll notice that he didn't say, "And then we fucked on the table."

They did not roleplay the act of copulation, anon.

>>25151974
just be a better gm yourself. pathfinder rules are free, google pfsrd
and watch the spoony one's videos about gm-ing, have fun

>>25151974
well, not every gm is like that, just like how not every vidya gaem sucks

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>>25152016
<3

>>25152322
wat

>>25152350
Maybe he was right, maybe you can't into tactics

>>25152079
>>25152132
>>25152323
It's shit like that, that causes mass-shootings. Or at the very least booktotheface-ings. Go on, anon. No jury in the world would convict you.

>>25152322
That, on the other hand? That never happened.

On a totally different note, are there actually codified rules for kingdom-maker games? I always just thought they were freestyled, as that's the way my group has always done them, but the way they're being talked about makes me think we're missing something...
(They were never particularly good anyway, which is why we hardly ever do them, these days. Maybe some structure would help.)

>>25152669
>That never happened
His name is Pete, and I won't say any more because I know that at least Adam is an elegan/tg/ent, but I'm unsure of the others.

To be honest, I think they'd just gotten used to it by then. Apparently this kinda thing is normal for him.

>>25151803
>>25151826
You know, generally I don't advocate IRL violence to solve problems at the table, and mock of people who do, but in this case I have to agree. That's the kind of dickery that calls for a black eye.

Besides, you can yell "smite evil" as you smack him and use whether or not you do extra damage to tell if you secretly have paladin levels. It's a legitimate experiment, seeing as that douche is clearly unadulterated evil.

>>25152707
If this is indeed true, you must take revenge. For the sake of neckbeards everywhere, man! This fiend cannot be allowed to tarnish our reputation further! PURGE! IN THE NAME OF THE GOD -EMPEROR, PURGE HIM! USE FIRE! AND POSSIBLY KNIVES! KNIVES THAT ARE ON FIRE MAY ALSO BE INVOLVED!

God dammit; it's 1:15PM and I'm going to go and drink myself into a stupor in the hope it dulls the pain.

>>25151963
How sad.
My group was awesome
We had a pair of Giovanni Twins acting the part of the overly eloquent thugs trope, discussing Decartes as they laid onto people with nailbats.

A Nosferatu Vet with a swarm of rescued ghouled strays, from rat-sized dogs, to dog-sized rats and an overcoat full of potenced up normal rats in case people get too close for comfort.

A Toreador with Potence or heavily social-skilled Brujah with as a angressive punk-rocker anarchist rabble rouserc who
teamed with our Malkavian to turn disgruntled youth mosh-pits into raging hormone-fuelled battering rams/distractions.

I the nossie might have accidentally broken the GM's plot when i used my animalism power call up the local rats to ask for basic knowledge of the area (abandoned hospital in the deep slums).
Rolled 7 successes and the BBEG spying on us fled in the face of every rat in a 5 square miles radius ratting his position out and gnashing their teeth hungrily.

>>25152313
Then the alignment change is right, that's not legal, that's selfish

>>25152284
Haha, nope, full BAB, high strength and dex, as well as a good composite longbow are most useful things you can have.
Deal with it social mechanics faggots, you're only useful when your GM let's you and it fits the tone.

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>>25151711
Lol'd hard,
you got what you deserved faggot.

>>25152761
Yes, I'm sure that combat twink will be so useful in court, trying to win the trust of the king; or in front of the council of nobles, trying to win their support for the war against the arch-lich; or calming the princess, terrified to the point of suicide, just as you're about to save her from the dark tower; or getting the information you need out of the grizzled old veteran in the tavern; or convincing the big bad's fanatically loyal, but unknowingly betrayed second-in-command, to tell you where his master is conducting the Ritual of Endless Night.

Deal with it, combat mechanics faggots, you're only useful when your GM lets you and it fits the tone.

>>25152761
>Full BAB, strenght
Not quite, right now I'm rolling a medium BAB with nomal strengh and dex and he's by far the damage dealer of the group, and he can do it at distance against touch AC at will.

>>25151963
You were/are playing WoD with assholes.

>>25152834
I don't know, too much groups being assholes led me to the conclusion that the WoD fanbase is full of assholes.

>>25152031
My pathfinder GM has fluffed them as all incredibly foul mouthed. It's pretty funny, when in the midst of a high fantasy game with REAL HEROES! doing REAL HEROES! stuff, you fail a stealth check and hear "SHIT! BIG'UNS. FUCKIN' LEGGIT."

>>25152853
Oh it is, just like the DnD fanbase is full of number-crunching minmaxers and hospitals are full of cancer patients.

It's just a small part of the community, generally the most visible one, but that's the price at the entrance, have to drink a lot of bad beer before you find one you do like.

>>25152892
Well, I can tell you I'm boring of looking for good WoD groups, so far I've been in 8 differents and unless for 1 or 2 guys, all of them were dicks with capital D, tonnes of s and exclamation marck.

>>25151318
I remember this story

>>25152917
Just random "pugs"?
Ya gotta get a group of tolerable people and then move on from there.

>>25152031
Ain't they Nac Mac Feagle?

>>25152868

We fluff them as little smurf berserkers that hate everything they see. You usually hear "I HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE MAGE ROBES" then you get a centipede-riding smurf screaming on top of his lungs and faling around

>>25152754
Today I learned that monks have to be tanks or lose all class features.

>>25152322
Cool story that never happened. Got any more?

>>25152917
If you were in my area (No-one is in my area.) I'd run a good game for you. Just to prove it can happen.

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Summary of group:

>Wife and I meet up with two guys and start a weekly game.
>I play a Soulknife (shut up, I don't care how shitty the class was, I liked it), she plays a Paladin.
>Other player plays a broken ass Druid that specializes in summoning plant animals. Also has a warrior cohort.
>GMPC (this should have been my first clue) plays a Blue (psionic goblin), who's a Psion AND a Mage. Also has a cohort.
>Every battle is the same; my wife and I take a combined total of 5 minutes to resolve our turns, then we wait over an hour while the druid, his plant-animals, his cohort, the GMPC (who could cast two spells and two powers EVERY round), his cohort, and finally the enemies all perform their actions.
>I realize my wife and I are only here to observe two guys' 1-on-1 game.

The final straw

>Fighting a giant tentacled undead horror.
>I'm a melee focused character, so of course I attempt to stab it.
>It grabs me with its insanely high Grapple modifier.
>GMPC fires at a ray spell at it, hits me instead, killing me.
>GM blames me for my characters death. Says I should have known better than to send my melee character in melee with such a tough opponent.
>Asked if the GM expected me to sit there and twiddle my thumbs while the magic guys did all the work, and also why couldn't you have just cast a spell that required a saving throw instead of an attack roll?
>Next day, GM emails my WIFE telling her that he doesn't want me back because I'm not contributing to the game.
>Pic related

>Pathfinder
>Group's fighting a low level Demon that casts Ring of Fire.
>GM says the ring of fire effects everything on the inside as if they were standing on the acutal Ring of Fire high damage part.
>This guy's been GMing for well over 10 years at the time and has never pulled anything like this, assume something's up. As expected, TPK.
>Ask the GM, after the fight and subsequently the end of the game, to take off his wedding ring and put it on the table.
"What is that?"
>"A Ring. I know man, I know. You guys were just getting too powerful."
>We were level five with no magic items other than a Wand of Detect Secret Doors with 9 charges and less than 200 gold combined between the four of us in a 16 point-buy game.
>Tells us as we walk out the door to go home and reroll characters that our new characters are to have level one starting told and he'll be doing character audits before we start the next session.

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>>25153164
I played once a Soulknife Kalashtar.
He had the mind shield and the soul armor feat.

Pretty much looked like this.

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>>25152739
Godspeed.

>>25153183
It sounds like he needs a break from DMing. He's getting PTSD or something.

>>25153395
Or he got a idea that urgently necessitated a reboot and sperged out instead of just saying it.

>>25152754
>Self-preservation
>Intrinsically CE

>>25153476
>self-preservation
The guy just moved 5', that wasn't going to save him.

>>25153590
So he was still in combat then? Still within reach of the mind controlled barbarian? Equally in danger as the fighter he supposedly betrayed?
Tell me, what was LOST when he chose to move?

>>25153590
>"He stepped away so the fighter would be hit!"
>Self-preservation is CE
>"It wasn't self-preservation, the five-foot step did nothing!"
>Alignment shift for nothing

You can't have it both ways.

>>25152016
In a game like BESM, you do need to kind of explain these things with the DM if it's something other than what it says on the tin.

>>25152248
By definition That Guy is the one who goes against the group's fun, so he's a that guy.

>>25152754
No that's tactical. If I were the fighter, I'd have supported the move "Get out of the way little buddy, I'll handle...*Splat*" Not a tactic that always works out but a perfectly reasonable one, and especially given the roles of certain classes. Concept of Fighter = meatshield has been around a long time.

>>25153633
because this is like arguing with woman, you can't win and clearly you did something wrong, so brace yourself and hope for the damage to be low.

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>>25151711
>Orc rapes the twins and kills the rogue
Got as far as here before I shit myself laughing. Your DM and that player are awesome.

>>25151746
This is when you roll anyways, and demand your result be accepted.

>>25153709
Except that's bullshit. This is a group of people playing a tabletop game not a damn relationship.The monk player didn't do something wrong, he did something ineffective. His actions had no positive and no NEGATIVE impact on the outcome of the fight.

>>25153793
>No negative impact
>Fighter died horribly

>>25152748
>ratting his position

Oh you.

>>25153818
And... what? Someone was going to die horribly in either case. If the barb had gone after the monk it wouldn't have mattered.

>>25153818
Oh well?
The Monk made a reasonable and tactically sound decision to back away from the crazed Barbarian.

It's not his fault that the fighter died.

>>25153818
>Expecting the Fighter to fight is Chaotic

If you say so.

>>25153829
It wasn't even on purpose, I just couldn't think of a synonym.

>>25153818
>>it's the monks' fault the fighter died.
But that's fucking wrong. The 5' move did jack all to the fighter. The barbarian could have still chosen to go after the monk. He didn't. The fighter died, then threw a bitch fit and blamed the monk player for the way the dice rolled.
Essentially the fighter's player blamed the monk's player for his character not dying in the fighter's place. THAT'S selfish.

>>25153990
Then the fighter player is CE, but we're talking about PCs not IRL people.

>>25151318
Do you play D&D in a gay strip bar?

Because I can't believe how many dicks you surround yourself with.

>>25154045
>>Thread about That guys.
>>We're talking about PCs, not IRL people.
what

>>25151318
>>25153990
>>25154045
>Monk has tanked 3 hits, hasn't died, but the next hit will probably kill him
>monk moves back, fully expecting the fighter to be able to tank better than him
>due to lady luck, fully healthy and armoured fighter gets instagibbed

The monk had every reason to believe that the fighter could stand a couple of hits. If he KNEW the fighter would get gibbed, it would have been his fault.

He didn't.

>>25151974
Not all DMs are fags. I'm pretty heterosexual.

Remember that most of these stories come from people who have lots of positive experiences too.

>>25152079
>Wouldn't it be funny if we played a game instead of being immense idiots? SO DO IT, FAGGOT.

>4e
>Defender marks a monster, potentially with no damage.
>Striker completely jacks up the monster with amazingly powerful hit.
>Monster still attacks defender because defender marked it.

Damn it! I can mark 5 monsters at a time, and I never get to enforce ANY marks! instead i just get beat on by 5 guys at once!

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>DM ruled it so that he takes control of my Frenzied Berserker whenever all enemys are down

He almost killed our wizard 3 times and the cleric 2 times, i also get the feeling he lies about the will saves

>>25154079
Like I said, I changed over the years quite frecuently of groups, and I found pretty hideous creatures out there.

>>25154260
>Welcome to a game with "Taunts"

>>25154260
A creature marked is aware of the mark and it's effects.

So the choice is (for a intelligent enemy)
a) Swing at the striker, suffer a -4 or greater penalty to hit and suffer the defenders ability regardless of sucess of attack
b) Try to swat the defender so he can later death with the real threat.

It's like hunting bears/boar with hounds.

>>25153683
He's part of the group. They're not letting him have fun. They are all "That Guy"?

No. His group was a bunch of asshats.

>>25154328
>>25154318
This reminds me
>Playing 4e
>Mute Avenger human
>Only know one language and it's not common. I couldn't only understand one of the PCs
>DM was always telling us that powers aren't magic, unless magic classes, so martials do martial shit, not supernatural shit.
>Guy marks me
>Me "How?"
>DM "How how?"
>Me "Yeah, how?, I pretty sure I don't understand his language..."
>DM "He gives you the middle finger..."
>Me "How?"
>DM "Not again..."
>Me "He's wielding a tower shiled and a katar thing"
>DM "He takes off the katar and gives you the middle finger"
>Me "Then why isn't an AoO when he puts it back"
>DM "Ok, it's fucking magic, you're agry at him just because..."
>Me "But you said..."
I was messing with him, so I deserved all the punishment I recibed before.

>>25154371
That Guys are always less than the half of the group. There can't be 4 That Guys and 1 sane player, if that situation exists, the sane player becomes a That Guy.

>>25154433
No. Then you just have a bunch of assholes a guy that should go find some friends.

>>25154433
Actually, there's a rare case where entire groups can be individually That Guy, where NO-ONE has fun, e.g. minmaxing powergamer who cheats at dice, a over the top melodramatic dramafag who gets mad OOC at IC things that happen to their special snowflake characters, the guy who doesn't pay attention to the game, watches youtube while the game occurs and comes in stoned, and the GM who puts in his hour long rape torture fantasies in every game and still gets mad at everyone for not playing along with his railroad rape.

And you, who just wanted a normal D&D session and can't get away because you're all roommates.

This isn't the case though.

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>>25154079

>>25154433
Or its That Group

>>25154260
Funny how that works. I mainly play defenders as well and I'm always eager to use my ability that punishes people for not attacking me. At the same time though I want to get hit so my flimsy little striker doesn't get smacked down in two hits.

Luckily my GM is smart about having npcs not always attacking me (most of the time though.) I usually have to do an intimidate check to get them all to attack me though.

>>25151932
>Me, Italian inventor/mathematician (Homage of Fibonacci) who is also a ladies man
I lost it at this part

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>>25154470

>cheats at dice

Oh boy

>Fight a group of mobs
>quickly dispatch of them thanks to my barb and dervish player
>happens all the time
>DM is angry about how no fight lasts for long enough
>he gives us a Megaraptor
>one shot him thanks to Leap Attack and good rolls
>he is almost frustrated
>next fight
>he rolls about 20 times for 2 attacks you can see his anger the whole time
>Yeah anon you are totally at -7 HP hard luck i hope you don't die

Do DM's hate Barbarians or something?

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>>25152322
When I reads stories on tg I accept them as real unless they are obvioustroll or can’t get details straight(like mixing online and PnP terms). Plus, I have met people this messed up. It sounds like a form of initiation joke he always does. However, if it’s not the sort of thing you’d like to see again and again, good move walking out. I would have done the same thing without a word to any of them. Now to the really disturbing part….
Assuming all these stories are true, am I the only one that thinks this DM isn’t even the worst DM described here? I’d still walk out, but, as written, I’d rank this beastmaster as better than this DM >>25152079 or this one >>25151831
And that is disturbing. Am I alone in this?
To clarify: a better DM, probably much worse person.

>>25154587
What's funny about that?

>>25154591
Seeing as barbarian jump randomly between awesome kill-machines and worthless sacks of flesh, Yes.

It's like Superman, when 70% of everything has Kryptonite.

>>25154609
Thinking of Fibonacci being a ladies man

DM story.
First up I had a 5 person party, me, and 2 couples.
> DM makes slutty female npcs to hit on the boyfriends of the girls, which was weird enough as it was.
> Whenever I tried talk to a female npcs he made them degrade me or try and kill me
> always talked over the girls when they tried to rollplay or engage in the story
The best however
> was once, me and the other two girls fell into a hole trap thing and while we figured out how to get out, the DM decided to ERP by having hot fembot like things seduce the male characters.
> This was going on for apparently 8 hours in the DMs world, he said we must be getting desperate and may need to eat soon, which he ment, kill each other. The girls devoured me in the end, and one of the guys had to have sex to "distract" the bots...

We all quit after that session now i DM, but im tempted to bring back those sex bots for some fun times.

>>25152063
I actually really like your character. I have a thing for swordsmen and the whole being also a cook sets up a lot of roleplaying opportunities. Shame your group sucks ass.

>>25154318
>>25154328

*grumble* I need to invest in more powers that push / slide foes away. I have crap initiative and always get stuck at the deployment zone, holding up a swarm of minions and brutes, while the rest of the party gets to charge out into the board and use powers.

Terrible thing, I've taken some wallops from brutes that could have one-shot our strikers.

>>25154421
He spits on you. He thrusts his pelvis in your direction suggestively. His eyebrows waggle in a manner you find offensive. He is paying extra special attention to your actions. He is up in yo' grill. His shoes are garish and offend your fashion sense. His shield has a list of "your mother" jokes, written in multiple languages, some one of which strike too close to home. His mind may say "no" but his body is telling you he's gonna fuck you up.

Your GM is just shit at describing it.

>>25154591
>Megaraptor
And thanks anon, I remember another one

>3.5 once again
>Doing some hunt (Monster Hunter Style) to get a nice trophy to decide our possition in an incoming tournament
>Lvl 4 group formed by this group>>25151318
>Fighter, Barbarian, Kobold, Monk and Mononoke princess
>Gather information, maps and stuff
>There're velociraptors, masticores, griphons, T-Rex and other shit in the area
>Decide to go for the raptors because that could be the only thing we can dig into
>Travel several days to a marsh, swamp thing
>Near water, eating an iguanodon, a pack of Velociraptors
>"That was quick..."
>We prepare ourselves
>Too late, they have spotted us
>Roll initiative
>One of them go first
>Charges at me (Monk)
>"This is going to hurt, but they don't seem that scary..."
>Charges
>5 attacks, tonnes of damage, drops me to -9
>"WFT?!"
>DM "Your turn, anon, roll..."
>Roll dice I bought the same day, fucking 10, I'm stable, thank you jesus
>Battle continues
>Our group is taking damage pretty fast
>Me "DM, are you sure these are velociraptors?"
>DM "Yeah"
>Me "The ones that heigh less than 1,5 meters?"
>DM "Yeah, look..."
>Shows me (because my PC is unconscious) the monster manual
>Clearly in big letters "MEGARAPTOR"
>DM "Welps...ok, from now on they are velociraptors"
>Me "And me?"
>DM "you're unconscious so don't worry"

Not much of a dick, just lazy.

>>25152116
Oh god. I know this one. because i was in that group

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Something I did once:

>DM'ing for a bunch of power gamers.
>I want them to roleplay for a change.
>"Okay guys, you can make whatever you evil characters you want. I will fit them into the story. Any feat, any book, any character class, you're set at level 20. You can have any item that you could buy with gold."
>They gleefully get to work
>They finish their characters; one guy is a succubus, one is a lich, one is an undead half minotaur, half dragon, half ogre, I can't even remember the other two.
>"Okay... cool concepts guys!"
>I put those character sheets away in a seperate folder
>"Thanks for making the bad guys for my campaign. Now roll up level 1 good-aligned humans, 3d6 for stats straight down the line, class and gender will also be rolled."
>Mfw the highest stat among the five of them is a 15.

>>25154591
DMs hate it when players breeze through hours of planning a couple minutes. Good GMs play throught the pain.

>>25151932
This doesn't even sound that bad, no That Guys or That DM. A bit of Those Players for them all bringing combat PCs to the game. A good DM rolls with it and bends to the majority. The only reason to not let OP change his character is to not waste time, which was a serious mistake. If he had another reason, probably a dick move from the DM.

>>25154421
All playable races know Common.

>>25154718
>He spits on you
>He thrusts his pelvis in your direction suggestively
Well, the first one is my fetish and the second only confirms he wants to mate...so why should I kill him?. I kill the rest and then I try to hit him.

>>25154754

It's not my fault really i am the one who likes to plan and rp the most and whenever i play a rogue or bard i use to be talking and planning a lot DM asked me if i can roll someone who isn't much into thinking and talking so i went with Barb. It's pretty fun really i get to talk if we need to Intimidate people

>>25154797
If he makes you want to hit on him, then he's clearly marking you out and you should hit on him.

>Pathfinder
>initiate back ground info
>group buys slave that supposedly leveled an entire kingdom before having mind sealed.
>group comes across a lich that wants to die after after a 100 years of nothing after losing a battle to another lich
>Slave knows Meteor Swarm
>Lich knows Power word: Kill
>I get left in charge of slave
>"alright, should be able to leave them alone during a normal battle and use them if things get back"
>every enemy we've come across with them in tow has been no less than level 6
>group was level 2 when we got them
>level 5 today
>Dm made sheets for them to keep better track
>Last battle against 3 level 9 paladins
>slave and lich couldn't touch them because of high saves and ac
>paladins near tpks us in first round including slave and lich
>on a ship during this battle so no escape
>me and other players are like "sure why not, this campaign's been bullshit anyways."
>DM has paladins retreat for bullshit reasons so we don't die

Having to manage the slave in battle without actually controlling him has been more difficult than I thought, especially since he can't handle commands more then 2 words. If he's gonna give us over leveled characters and have us fight enemies we can't alone with them, at least make the enemies small enough for the npcs to be able to handle them. Or just kill us so we can do something else...

DM can't into balance...

>>25154758
Tower shield also don't exist in 4e, so it was probably homebrew.

>>25154754
>Guy can't do shit in a game full of combats because he made a character for RP for, funny thing, an RP campaign
>He can't change character because "waste of time" so he's stuck there
>Somehow DM did it right
What?

>>25154599
The thing you have to remember: Almost all of us who are here, have far, far FAR more stories of the GM being awesome, or the campaigns running for 6 months... but those big, epic stories come at the price of not being quick, pithy, or strictly related to the topic at hand.

In a conversation with a fellow DM last week, I learned that his campaign had gone so far off the rails that it had recursively looped back, after the party, who were supposed to be subverting the actions of a cult, wound up founding a university by rebuilding the ruined keep that the last miniboss had holed up in, and putting some NPCs in charge, then when said NPCs were murdered by the cult, and a mysterous stranger showed up to help them... they left the mysterious stranger in charge of the university, and went across the continent on a wild goose chase to discover mystery NPC's origin, instead of, y'know, using a sending spell or telepathy or whatever, which they are quick to do in-party whenever there is more than 50' between the members. The players only *just* realized what idiots they are being, and after four weeks of travel time are rushing back to the University they sunk all their party cash into.

>>25154827
I'm afraid to ask this as it may incite an edition war, but what the fuck? Seriously?

>>25151318

Don't worry anon, you did nothing wrong. You were getting your ass handed to you, so you stepped back to let a more martial class take the lead. It makes sense, both in-game and out. Even solely from the perspective of your monk as a character, it would go something like this:

>"Oh, I can't touch this guy despite my advanced training!"
>"Wow, he just practically disemboweled me without having to try too hard!"
>"One more shot, throw everything at it."
>"Oh, I missed? Well, best get out of the way before I'm just a corpse underfoot."

There is no reason for the other player, who chose a frontline class, to be upset about being targeted. There is no reason for the DM to modify your alignment in any way whatsoever.

>>25154848
Because the tower shield Never existed.
Closest was the Pavise which was a inch thick oaken siege-shield used by crossbowmen as cover.
It had a shoulder carrying strap and a tripod but no arm grip

>>25154834
>>25151932

See, what you do then is, between sessions, you create an entirely new character, with the sname name as your old character, (same experience, whatever) and you bring THAT character to the next game, but leave your main character at home.

Roleplay them the same way, attempt to diffuse situations with your (now much lower) diplomacy and subterfuge, and, when sht hits the fan, contribute with your (now much better) fighting skills.

You are now a functioning member of the party, and the GM will not bitch at you.

>>25154902
[screams eternally]

>>25154834
Sorry, I might have been unclear. The DM not letting him change his character is either a serious mistake("No that will take too much time. Just be useless instead, that will be more fun for you than making a new character while we play") or a dick move("No, you play what you roll! No do overs despite the fact that you are the only one who listened!"). The other players didn't listen, but not necessarily jerks. The DM screwed up and ruined one guy's fun, but not necessarily a jerk.

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Barb guy here also here is why i picked a barb

>New Adventure
>We also got 1 more player good friend of us
>Fun times ahead
>DM helps new player nad the some others with Min/Maxing
>I hate Min/Maxing but don't wanna feel left out
>DM doesn't allow me to MinMax a rogue/cleric/druid/monk
>Just give up and say how about a Barb
>Yeah sure
>Mind if i use some alternate class featuress?
>Yeah sure how good can they be
>his face when i got Pounce and Leap Attack

Next time i think im gonna play a Bard/Paladin just to piss him off to the max

>>25154848
Personally, I find it weird too. But then again >>25154902.
The entire armor system had a simplification where the tower shield apparently didn't fit in anymore. If 4e had been more succesful, they might have introduced it later on.

>>25154848
No great loss really. Tower Shields were almost never used, and more often their negative qualities (like being the size of a DOOR) were forgotten by DMs.

>>25154953
I used that quality all the time. I held many a hallway with a tower shield and a short spear.

>>25154848

Having people fighting in melee with tower shields in previous editions was retarded. They were meant to be planted in the ground and used for cover by guys with crossbows.

>>25154921
>Didn't let him change his character
>Change it anyway

>>25154751
You magnificent bastard.

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>>25154902

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>>25154812
Nothing wrong with anything you did. If the PC's chew through the adventure, so be it. As long as everybody is having fun.
My not-poker-face when a PC has taken out my planned BBEG.... again.

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>3.5, Level 5 Party
>Let infrequent player GM again.
>He's a good guy, he has cool stories, even if he rail-roads some minor things we're obviously supposed to do. (ie. "Alright, you guys need to be on this boat, so you're on the boat now.")
>GM us all permission to roll characters from Oriental Adventures in Greyhawk-like setting to role-play as foreigners.
>Roll Crane Samurai Dodge Tank
>Longagoinadistantlandiakutheshapeshiftingmasterofdarkness.gif
>Get shipwrecked on tropical island ("because you just do.")
>ONE WILD, CR2 GIANT SPIDER APPEARS!
>Just one? Must be a filler encounter.
>Spider just charges us and bite spams. No web, charges like a trained bloodhound.
>16 Dex, 4 ArmourB, Dodge & Combat Expertise 5/5 lolololololololol
>This thing can only hit me on 19+
>I slowly shave the hairs on it's face with +3 ab.
>Monk is totally ignored by the spider.
>Monk flanks it and casually gives it a Flurry of Blows prostate exams.
>Spider dies like a bitch.

DM turns red when combat is over in 2 Rounds.

"TOO EASY, NO EXP NO LOOT."

It took like, half an hour to prove to him that the monster was still worth exp with the rewards table, and he shouldn't punish us because he doesn't read CR.

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>>25154902
The dick player who "couldn't into taunt because mute"
The DM said "Tower shield" I don't know how it worked IRL but he describe it as Pic related.
Also depending on the backstory he allows for orther starting languages because things like:
>Never been with creatures who speak common
>Knows common somehow

>>25155044

We were all laughing about it when it happened i didn't thought it would happen but i still bet 200g on it now i can buy my barb some fancy food or something

>>25154981
Just found another historical use, Men-at-arms also had them, strapped to their backs, that along with their kettle helms let them turns ass to arches when fires upon.

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>>25151020
>implying i remember back when i learned to greenstuff

>>25155061
Because Common is... common.
Common is not Human, human salso have regional languages, common used elven loanwords for plants, dwarven for arms and stonework, halfling for cooking, orkish for swearing, it's a linguistic spitoon, like Dutch.

>>25155118
Kid link does the same in one of the N64 zeldas.

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>>25155130

>>25155150
DM used his world, but manual rules, and in his world people with linguistic are useful, not some dudes who decided to waste their life languages they don't need at all.

>>25155195
Bet I know that his major is.

>>25154718
This may be the most hilarious and awesome description I have read in months.

>>25154902
I always thought tower shield was an anglicization of the Roman scutum. Head to knee and with square corners for maximum coverage.

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>>25155118
I thought that a "tower shield" was basically just a scutum, like the roman legions used?

>>25155357
Nice. I need to refresh the page more often, or get something to update automatically.

>>25155379
A tower shield is a tower with an attached handle to be used as a shield. You DO have 90 strength, do you?

>>25154718
How does he know if you move your eyebrows in some way I find that offensive, also how does hi know his shoes offend my fashion sense? I think you're a metagaming DM

>>25155466
DMs can't metagame, they're DMs

>>25155466
It's their job.
DM's are supposed to run the entire metagame.

>>25154797

Because they have a facial feature which you find to be the biggest turn off in the world, one of those things you absolutely cannot stand, and if they read your "adventurer of the month" centerfold stats in "Playgamer" they would know that and have taken care of it before OH LOOK they smacked you upside the head with a flail, take 7.

>>25155466

Because moving your eyebrows in the particular manner used by THIS enemy happens to be a broad-culturally-understood form of disrespect (similar to showing someone the bottom of your shoe is disrespectful in all Islamic territories, and flipping the bird is almost universally disrespectful.) No. I'm not going to do it with MY eyebrows. Let's just say if you saw it, you'd be offended.

>>25155610
As for his shoes: they clash, with yours. Violently., Take 7 points being-kicked-in-the-shin damage.

>>25154751

You glorious bastard

>>25155605
Not the same guy but Yes and No.
This example that happend to me in 5e.

>Monk
>Phoenix monastic tradition
>Lvl 5 power
>If someone hits me I can spend one ki point to deal 5 plus my level (in this level I deal 10)
>I have 3 ki points
>Couple of bandits attack our caraban
>Surrounded, Me and the party attack the obvious leader who is also sorrounded by a small group
>One of them attacks me and deals damage
>I spend 1 ki point
>Roll bluff
>"You better watch out, I'm on fire"
>He attacks me again
>I spend 1 ki point, deal 10 damage, guy is on the ground
>Bluff
>"Told ya, I could do this all day"
>Leader attacks me
>Spend my last ki point
>Bluff again
>"Are you really sure you want to do this?"
>DM "Yeah, I know you can only do that 3 times per day"
>Me "What?"

True story
DMs know everything, but they should be careful on how to use that information without forgetting logics.

>>25155620

Someone's played Kingdom of Loathing recently.

>>25152853
We really aren't all like that. I've rewritten huge story arcs to fit the players, removed elements they didn't like and worked with them to add new rules that either stream line or otherwise improve gameplay.
When new players join it's on them to show that they're willing to learn the system over time. Otherwise we haven't had a problem with anything really.

>>25155682
That is a terrible one yes.
I find the hardest part being playing Animals/vermin in combat.

What to they attack.
Biggest threat?
Easiest victim?
Do they know the difference between a Rogue and a Wizard's threat?
Do they change targets if someone hits them hard?
Do they Finish a kill or jump straight to next target?
Do scavenger/opportunists?

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>>25155682
Obviously the bandit leader was at least a level 6 Phoenix Monk... Yeah, that's the ticket.
Bad DM Metagaming.
>>25155700
Good DM Metagaming.

>>25155740
I always do this:
>Move the bigger threats away from the group
>Attack the easiest victim when they're unprotected
>Always attack and escape tactics to separate the group

>>25155740
>Biggest threat?
Yes, or closest. They would go for the obvious one.
>Easiest victim?
Only if it can detect ease through senses, ie: attacking the one that smells the most of fear.
>Do they know the difference between a Rogue and a Wizard's threat?
They could probably sense the spells coming out of the wizard, but that could go either way as far as attacking really. Between armored fighter and naked rogue? No.
>Do they change targets if someone hits them hard?
Unless VERY well trained and ordered to attack current target, hell yes. But only in melee. It's not going to go run down that archer.
Do they Finish a kill or jump straight to next target?
Thrash it until it stops moving(play possum dude!). If particularly frenzied, it would keep attacking until definitely dead(I think).
>Do scavenger/opportunists?
Bite a downed opponent? If it's moving, breathing, or otherwise being threatening, sure.

In general, animals should not be using advanced strategy beyond a pack methodology and never use humanoid knowledge of threats.(it doesn't know what your weapon does). You can fudge and fiat targets if needed(I do this to keep a random encounter from killing a player sometimes).
And of course, all this goes out the effing window if the animal is in anyway psychicly connect to a person.

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>This whole thread

I can't believe there are GMs this bad out there. I won't believe it.

>>25156059
Did I tell you about the StarWars game that was 3 hours of The GM making lightsaber, blaster and droid noises?

Or the one with with a severely stuttering Gm that had extensive descriptions of everything, including a hour long description of the royal castle's foyer, and a DMPC to herd them along and keep therm alive despite their will so they'd hear about everything he'd written for the setting?

>>25156059
Of course there are. The world is full of horrifying evil people doing far worse things for no reason whatsoever. My friend met some guys who honestly bragged about raping a guy because he was gay. There is no reaction image for this.
Doesn't mean you can't give people a chance, find good gamers, and have a blast at your hobby. The world is a dark place, bring light to your corner of it.

I really don't have much to complain about with my GM, just one tiny pet peeve. We play Exalted, and despite the rules clearly stating that 1 success is enough except when it comes to extremely difficult tasks, or when opposed by another roll or a value such as MDVs, 1 success is almost NEVER enough to accomplish what you are trying to do.

Lift a human sized statue? Four successes, I manage to budge it a few inches.
Determine the trajectory of a shot to see where it came from? Three successes on an unapposed roll, no idea where it came from.

Other than that though? Best damn GM on the planet.

>>25156097

Well, that's an "At least you tried."

He fheld only because he lacked ability and not the desire.

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>Make a pushy battlemind
>DM won't stop telling me battleminds suck and I should play a fighter
>Don't take Lightning Rush
>DM tells me I should totally take lightning rush
>Every combat consists of things murdering away 3/4 of my health in one round despite high ac and saves
>Laugh internally because I'm still technically doing my job
>Tells me to take Lightning Rush after every fight
>Group uses power macros because they're lazy bastards
>Replaces my 7th level pick with lightning rush
>Use other powers, tell him to change it back at end of session
>Replaces all other at-wills with lightning rush
>Quit game
For fuck's sake if you keep going on about how the game is so balanced then actually let people pick what they want you cockmongling infernalist assbastard

>>25156148
Oh no, the hour-long descriptions was assuming no stutter.

Tunes out all the dice rolling and time spent with player's talking was really annoying him as it took time away from talking about his setting and the characters he had made for it.

>>25156148
Yes, I am much more forgiving of DMs who suck because of their utter lack of skill rather than their attitude or approach. Several of both in this thread.
Captcha: produces dHelpa
Yes, captcha, we can maybe help them become better DMs.

>>25156189
Ok, prolly can't help him then. I'd still try... once.

>>25154727
>DM "you're unconscious so don't worry"
Not much for reassurance there.

>Experienced DM offers to DM a game for us (group new to D&D)
>we roll up characters for a low level adventure
>"you start in a tavern..."
>"why are we here?"
>"i don't know, i was thinking of running a sand box game"
>*cue an hour of confused players roleplaying eating breakfast*
>Party paladin askes for local information, DM has the barmaid describe fantasy christianity
>Party paladin decides it's an evil cult, starts ranting
>DM tells us that we were on our way back from an errand and we live in the capital city
>as we are about to leave, the DM randomly rolls some dice and declares a thundetorm has arrived
>Cue an hour of half the party refusing to leave because it's raining and the party paladin still ranting
>We get back home, get a new job to escort a gold shipment
>Oh boy, plot!
>Caravan of gold is attacked by...hawks
>Combat takes 3 hours because the DM does not know how to run the hawks
>DM rolls some dice afterwards and decides that we discovered a mysterious hawk egg
>We arrive back at the same tavern, everyone is dead
>Everyone fails perception rolls and is knocked out
>Wake up in cell with no equipment
>Hawk egg is retconned out of existence
>DM PC is there with us
>Party is stuck for 2 hours trying to solve a puzzle and get out of the jail cell, DM just sits and watches us
>Finally handwaves us out of the cell
>We go to the next room
>More puzzles
>More confusion
>DM then does rocks fall, everyone dies and say he's running shadowrun next week
>Nobody goes back

>>25151921
I lost 43 characters in one oWoD campaign before quitting.

Probably people heard this before.
>3.5
>DM wants no OP characters
>25-32 points in attributes
>I roll a NON combo kalashtar psychic warrior, only Vigor power, nothing combo-ish else there
>25 points in attributes
>The rest are a Warmage Fire Genasie, Dwarf fighter with Oversized TWF and an a Human Artificer
>DM seems ok with us
>At first I don't use Vigor because It takes a standart action to gain 5x my level in temporary HPs, somehow I end encounters almost unconscious or unconscious
>"Welp, I'm afraid I need to start using this"
>Using vigor, still ending encounters with almost no HPs
>Me "Mmm, this is odd"
>Lvl 4 spending all power points in Vigor
>Fall unconscious near death in every combat encounter
>Me "What the fuck? I can triple the life points of my fellows, what's happening DM?"
>DM "Nothing, just bad luck I guess"
>Lvl 6 every standard action I can gain 30 temporary HPs
>I can have around extra 150 HPs or so
>Still unconscious, still eating tonnes of damage
>Before reaching level 7 my character dies
>My HPs can be twice the sum of the whole group, so, DM should be able to kill two group of players with his encounters
>Still says nothing is wrong there, just bad luck

>>25156485

This sounded good until "hawks".

I mean, the tavern, roleplaying a Paladin (instead off "Hurr, Holy Smite all!"), the omen-like thunderstorm etc.

But then: HAWKS.

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>>25156499
>"Hide behind the mound of dead bards!"

>>25156645
Eugh...
Saying that reminds med of the greasy super sperger I know that can't go 3 sentences without misquoting shit and then spends an extended period laughing so hard at himself that his pants start to falling down.
Fuckers too fat for regular size belts and suspenders.

>>25156718
Nobody is too fat for suspenders.

>>25156718

He should chain together belts then.

>>25156645
Pretty much exactly that.

Except with vampires.