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>>25267452
It has....

It has a man's eyes.

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I love the ocean. I'm sure as shit never going near it but I love it.

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>>25267491
It's ok, anon. Not everything is horrible in the ocean.

Sometimes it comes up on land.

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Don't worry about this picture it's not very scary.

>>25267718
Oh. God. What the fuck is that?


Note to self: No canned goods from Russia. EVER.

>>25267817
>Successful anal circumference roll

>>25267889

Pineapple.

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>>25267718

This is why Asians are only afraid of ghosts, they eat everything not ethereal.

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>>25268047
>>25267718

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Best thread on /tg/ right now. Pic tangentially-related.

>>25267941
>DC 140 Escape artist check

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>>25267452

Lemme tell you about the ocean man.

Fuck the ocean.

There's no place in the world more imicable to human life. If you want to live in the ocean you have to bring your environment with you.

The reason why is because the ocean fucking hates you and tries everything to kill you.

Fall off your ship, I give you a half-hour before you freeze to death, drown, are eaten by sharks, raped by dolphins, or any combination of the above.

The weather comes in two varieties, cold and shitty, or hot and shitty. Don't think having a more stable ship will help you, that just pisses the ocean off more and makes the weather worse. God save you if you have motion sickness.

I don't know what the fuck the ocean is made out of, salt and some other shit, the oceanographers tell me. Fuck them, the fucking ocean hippies, and their damn rapey whales. I've seen people get pulled out of the ocean dissolved by that crap after they died and fall in piles of goop and clothes that smell like rotten fish and sea-gull shit.

If I ever wanted to kill anyone I hated I'd dump them in the ocean when the sea snakes are spawning. At least, I would if their screaming wouldn't make every ship and aircraft in 20 nautical miles find them.

I don't know what all I'm saying but what I really mean to say is:

Fuck the Ocean because the Ocean fucking Hates you.

Giant isopods posted yet? Nope? Alright, got through the thread without that shit!

Hiding now,

Noooooo. I can't not look at this stuff and it WILL give me nightmares. I'm already terrified of open water. Fuck you, planet.

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hey guyth.

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The thing I hate most about the ocean is how unbelievably, naturally, terrifyingly BIG it is. ANYTHING could live in that space. I know there are limits on how big something can get because it would need a ridicules amount of energy to operate, but god DAMN, it's like the ocean is just waiting for someone to go down deep enough to release the fucking Kraken.

>>25269542
Is that a seamonster...EATING a B-52?

Bueno
Reminds me of that one Sci-Fi original movie.

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Commencing sea monster art dump!

>>25267452
If I didn't hate the ocean before, I do now. Thanks OP

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You know that feeling when your halfway through a dump but really want to go do something else but you feel like you need to finish? Yeah.

...I like the ocean...

>>25270486
I did. Not anymore...

>>25270573
This is cool

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>>25270486

This is a coconut crab. It lives on many islands in the southwest Pacific and Indian Oceans. It is not only the largest extant land arthropod on Earth (weighing in at up to 4.1 kg), but it might be the largest an arthropod could theoretically grow in our current atmosphere. It can get as large as a dog (1m long, counting the legs, and 20cm wide) and support over 10kg of weight.

It can't swim. In fact, it takes its name from the fact that it travels by sea by floating on coconuts. If it is knocked off, it will drown in a couple of minutes.

Ocean to the rescue.

>>25270663
I wonder if you could keep one as a pet or something

>>25268534
Who drowns in the ocean? It's salt water. You can float on it forever.

>>25270718
Undertow, man.

>>25270710
It's an edible cockroach, why would you?

>>25270663
>as large as a dog

Jesus christ. And here I thought that Australia had a monopoly on giant, creepy shit

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>>25267452
That picture can never stop reminding me of the Eraserhead baby. It doesn't even look that much like it.

>>25267817
That's just an innocuous gif of a crab molting played backwards.

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>>25270776
If it makes you feel better, they can show up in Australia. But only on the north coast where no one lives.

Fuck off I love the ocean. I lived in Hawaii for 12 years and California for 3.
Someone once thought I was an otter when I was 9 and swimming with a wetsuit. Good thing it wasn't a shark

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WHO LIKES BUBBLEGUM?

>>25270932
That guy isn't scary. Look, he's even smiling!

>>25270994
They're gonna need a bigger boat

>>25270953
>>25270953
Not anymore

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>>25271044

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Don't look.

If you look, it's already too late.

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>>25271083

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>>25271151
Whoops, didn't mean to spoiler that one.

>>25271129
"What, those? Just some harmless marrow leeches. No, I don't know why they're called that."

>being afraid of giant, ocean monsters

HERE is your new nightmare, /tg/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQWgUht-ObI

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"It's fine. There's nothing to worry about, I promise. Just look at this little guy he--"

>Crack

"Okay, now I'm worrying."

>>25271237

nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope

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>>25271366

>>25267817
crabs are just spiders that live in the ocean and aren't poisonous

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>>25271440

>>25271440

>Implying crabs are not poisonous.

Don't worry Australia has those too.

http://www.nevillecoleman.com.au/underwater-marine-life-journal/dive-travel-survival-tips/poisonous-reef-carbs/

>>25268535
You don't like giant isopods?

>>25271541
Dammit Australia, why the fuck do you have so many things that can kill you?

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>>25268535
Man, what's so scary about giant isopods? They're cool looking in an alien sorta way and are sometimes kinda cute.

>>25271628
Its one of the few places you can actually level up. Most regions animals don't give as much experience

>>25271237
Just don't piss in the amazon.

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>>25271658
Yeah, they are pretty cute.

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>>25271658

>>25271719

What a beautiful symbiosis.

>>25271528
>inb4 IT IS REAL?

no guys, it isn't

>>25271743
What? It's just a bit jellyfish. Why wouldn't that be real?

>>25271738
It's not symbiosis. It's straight up parasitism.

>>25271762
Jellyfish are adorable. Except when they sting. In which case, fuck them.

>>25271719
What's that? Wikipedia implies that giant isopods only eat very slow moving prey. Mostly corpses, the slowest moving prey of them all. Also, the adjective giant seems to me to imply they are bigger than the average fish's jaw.

>>25271738
it isn't symbiosis when the fish dies

>>25271762
because they never get that big

>>25271738

>beautiful
>symbiosis

A namefag gets it all wrong, again.

Need a good scare? Search "The Bloop"

>>25271743

No, it's totally real. That's a lion's mane jellyfish. Biggest jelly in the world.

>>25271778

I was being facetious. Mind you as far as I know the thing doesn't actually hurt the fish - it replaces the tongue, but the fish can use the parasite as a fully functional new tongue, and the parasite never drains enough blood to harm it. So I guess it's more like... a commensal relationship?

>>25271835
wasn't that some random noise no one found the source for

>>25271835
Interestingly enough, the Bloop came from a spot very near where R'lyeh is supposed to be...

>>25271872

Was most likely tectonic or ice shelf movement, last time I read.

>>25271872
One random, extremely loud, and low frequency sound that must've come from something huge. The kicker? Lovecrafts R'lyeh coordinates are very close to the sound.

>>25271872
For some reason, the phrase "something something something biologicals something" comes to mind. Not sure why. Maybe I just have submarines on the brain

>>25271890
It's also close to the Ice shelf that cracked there too, which sadly may be the answer to this awesome mystery...

>>25271908
48721spooky.

>>25271802
That's not a giant isopod. It's a parasitic louse called cymothoa exigua or simply a tongue-eating parasite. They're sorta unique. They extract the fish's blood through the claws on its front, causing the tongue to atrophy from lack of blood. The parasite then replaces the fish's tongue by attaching its own body to the muscles of the tongue stub. The fish is able to use the parasite just like a normal tongue. Once it's replaced the tongue, the louse feeds on either the fish's blood or its mucus, depending on the what species the louse is. It is the only known parasite that is known to functionally replace a host's organ.

>>25271934
Or, it could be a giant, invisible space turd.
...
...
Yeah, I like the R'lyeh explanation better.

>>25271967
I think it would be hilarious if Cthulhu caused an ice shelf to collapse on him while awakening, burying him even deeper. That monster has some shitty luck.

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>>25271981
Much more eerie when it's walking.

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You see this thing?

This is a Bobbit Worm.

The worst motherfucker that wants to ruin your day for even looking at it.

Hell, you don't even need to fucking look at it. Just being in the general area makes it want to wreck your shit.

These motherfuckers grow up to ten feet long.

Not that you would know. You only ever see it for a brief second as it sticks its head out of the sand, with a pair of jaws big enough to make you never look at a pair of scissors the same way again.

And it's terrifying maw isn't even the worst part about it. It's covered in bristles that cause permanent nerve damage. PERMANENT nerve damage. That means if it so much as stings you once you'll get permanently paralyzed there for the rest of your life.

These monsters hunt by sitting in a hole waiting for anything stupid enough to wander nearby. Then they grab it in those gigantic pincers. And what do they do? Drag it down? No, they fucking SLAM whatever they caught so hard that they rip it down under the sand with them.

Thinking they aren't scary yet? They only ever show you their head. Not so tough right? Just cut the head off, right? WRONG, THEY WILL JUST GROW IT BACK MOTHERFUCKER.

Fuck the ocean.

>>25270718
You. Are. A. Fucking. Moron.

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>>25271719
'The parasite destroys the fish's tongue, and then attaches itself to the stub of what was once its tongue and becomes the fish's new tongue.'

NOPE. DONE WITH YOUR SHIT NATURE. KILL EVERYTHING.

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>>25272143

>>25272038
Awwww, I wanna hug it. Can I hug it?

>>25272160
Kinda an interesting, if somewhat used idea for a druid. Druids that protect civilization from nature because nature be scary yo.

>>25272160
There's a book where giant invisible spiders do the same thing to humanity.

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>>25272173

>>25270424
Why does something that large need teeth?

>>25272270
It tears chunks out of even larger monsters.

>>25272210
NOPE. NOPENOPENOPE.

I'm outta here

>>25272270
Because why the fuck not. You're already colossal, and terrifying, why not just finish it and add enormous teeth.

I almost considered going back to the beach this year.
THANKS GUYS. Now I need clean pants.

>>25272190
stealing this idea

"damn it druid, we need to chop down those trees for the lumber"
"if you go any deeper into the forest you'll all die"
"that some kind of threat? you think just because you can use magic you can threaten us you fucking druid?"
"you know what? go ahead and cut down the trees, i won't stop you"
>10 minutes later
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! MY ARM, IT ATE MY ARM"
"i told you not to cut down that tree"

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>>25268345

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>>25272283
It's called "This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch it."

>>25270710

Yes, some people do.

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Because there's other large things, many of which have teeth.

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>>25267452

>>25272345
laughingsharks.jpg

>>25272333
God.
Dammit.

On the otherhand, I can *probably* use this to our my arachnophobic friend.
So on one hand, thanks. On the other, you sir, can fuck right on off

>>25272270
Because there's always a bigger fish...

>>25272390
This things are too hilarious looking to be afraid of.

Seriously, that one on the right is like "Man, why you gotta take my picture?"

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Behold, the goblin shark.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-JWkiIozGI

don't watch this guys

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>>25272533
Goblin shark! Yay!

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>>25272560

>>25271839
Those exist, yes. No they don't grow that big. And if you actually know that's a lions mane you also know that. So shame on you.

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>>25272581

>>25272553
AAAAAAAAGH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>related videos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM2mwDW8gDM


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH

>>25272234
>Kilroy was here.

Deep Sea/Underwater Cavern horror game

Play in a dark room(use some aquarium-type ambient light to see char sheets with) pull out a tablet and flash a picture of whatever underwater creature has suddenly appeared from the depths, player shitting bricks.

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>Kongo Fish

>likes to take bites out of crocodiles, anything that falls in the water, and people

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>>25272656
That's a pretty good idea. There aren't enough undersea games.

>>25272143
>>25272173
>>25272215
Here's a video of a bobbit worm preying on a lion fish
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3H4J5QDQeA4

>>25271835
>>25271872
>>25271890
>>25271908
>>25272024
Something else that's quite interesting to note. In the last.. I think it was five years, something like 30-40 tagged whales have just flat out disappeared in that area.

>>25272424
No, the biggest things on the planet are Mammals.

And they have baleen, not teeth. It takes energy to be enormous, and even more energy to be a predator. The only they they could eat would be whales.

... Though blubber is incredibly high calorie...

>>25272553

>tail is still wriggling

>Wikipedia says it can grow a new head

this is some Lovecraftian horror right here

Jesus fucking Christ, this was the absolute worst thread to decide to look around in before going to bed.

I'll never sleep again.

>>25272717
The biggest things that we know of, you mean.

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>>25272633
>They like to eat your dick

>>25271151
That's fake right? o_o

>>25272908
That little fish thing in the amazon would like to have a word with you.

If you urinate in the river, one can wedge itself into your urethra, and it's spines means that you either have to have it surgically removed or....just rip it out.

>>25272923
Nope, totally real.

>This whole thread

FIS PLS.

STAHP FIS.

>>25272923
Nope.It's real alright.

I had to fight one of the damn things earlier. Bastard was trying to eat my house

>>25272717
Quite so, but think about this.

>massive creature
>cold blooded
>lives in the abyssal
>extremly slow metabolism
>evolved to detect, or possibly lure large cetaceans from mile away.
>using a minimal of energy, slowly float to shallow water.
>quick burst of energy to snag a tasty sperm whale, or blue whale and gobble it down in 1-2 bites
>gently drifts back down to the bottom, bringing any uneaten pieces with it.

tl;dr yes, massive predators require massive amounts of energy, but what if they're not active most of the time. Hibernating, so to speak.

>>25272962
You're just messing with me right?...right?

And here we can see how the entire ocean floor appears to move as thousands of creatures descend upon the corpses drifting down from above

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG17TsgV_qI

>>25273001
Real or not, I'm gonna have nightmares tonight

>>25273004
That is a very happy looking gross shark-thing.

>>25273027
Yeah. I was going to have nightmares starting about...oh, here:>>25267718

>>25272683
They're freshwater, though.

>>25272038
It reminds me of one of the monsters on that "AAAAH! Real Monsters!" show.

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>>25273069
yep, no sleep for me tonight.

While I'm at it, might as well throw in fuckign Basking Shark.

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As long as we're talking creepy fishes, have a snakehead

Fun fact, they can be found here in the US. Also, they can walk. Have fun~

>>25273105
Those guys are totally docile.

>>25273105
Good thing it only eats plankton.

>>25273007
if you think about it this is actually how dragons work. really big ass predator, sleeps for 80% of the time, lives in the middle of nowhere, lures in adventurers (horde), eats the food, adds to lure, naps more

Because of how some of these fishes look, I tend to think of them as different paths of evolution that we as a species could have gone... I have no basis for this theory beyond appearance so take it as you will...

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>>25273131
>>25273135
Yep.

ALso, when they're mouths are closed, they have a perpetual look of Derp.

>>25273123
That doesn't look scary, just really really pissed.

>>25273123
Oh god, that's so cartoony looking. It's like a scaly goomba with a fish tail instead of legs.

>>25273123

that fish's expression

>I am just so miffed right now!

I've got an ocean story for you guys

Here's some minor backstory; I'm a good ol' Florida boy, I've lived near our beaches for most of my life and I love every part of them. That being said, I've learned to respect the ocean over the years thanks to it sending "reminders" to me that things live in it. Scary things.

About a year ago I was fishing off of the coast in Tampa Bay. Great place, excellent for catching huge fish like Tarpon. After a long day of fishing without catching anything I decided to take a break with my family and hit one of the beaches around the coast. At this particular beach the tide was out really bad and there was a sandbar about 20 feet off of the shore where a bunch of people had parked their boats and were dancing in the ankle high water. Me, my mother, and my father all decided that we would swim out there because hey, party's a party right? As I said before, between us and the sandbar was about 15 to 20 feet of deep water; the kind where if you look at it it's almost black. We swam over there no problem; my mother and father made it there a couple of seconds before me and I was slowly making my way to them when a couple of people who were there kind of stopped and looked at me. At first I thought it was because I was wearing a dorky looking life jacket ( mother knows best, even when I'm 22) but then I saw the fear on their faces and that made me nervous. I got to the sandbar and reunited with my parents without thinking too much about people giving me weird looks. A couple came over to us and asked me " Are you ok?" I was a little bit confused as to why they asked me this and asked them what was wrong with me.

" With you? Nothing at all, but everyone here saw a Hammerhead swim right underneath you, must have been like 10 feet!"

We asked the couple if they could ferry us back to shore on their boat.

>>25273162
Yeah.

Until you pull one that's three feet long out of your lake.

Yeah, a machete to the neck was the most expedient means of ridding myself of THAT unwanted intruder

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Everything's bigger in Texas.

Also note: Freshwater fish.

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>>25273246

>>25273205
I had a land experience like that once, except I was 2 feet from a Black Bear waving my flashlight around randomly in the middle of the fight, and my family were freaking out at me to get into the cabin(quietly of course). They were glad I didn't turn around and freak out, lol.

>>25273281
Cute!

>>25273281
Looks adorable.

What kind of life-threatening secret is that cuteness hiding?

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>>25271696

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>>25273338

>>25273325

It's poisonous most likely

>>25273281
> U avin a giggol m8? I'll fukken deck u in, swear on me mum

>>25273325
Aren't most blowfish incredibly poisonous?

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Fish shouldn't have hands.

>>25273325
It is actually toxic enough to kill you very quickly if you eat the wrong part

>>25273123
>That really rustled my jimmies!

>>25273408
Still don't understand exactly what the fuck Evolution was thinking with this ugly bastard

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>>25273162
They're an extremely aggressive species; they kill all the other fish in the rivers and have been known to openly bite humans. We hate them over here and kill them any chance we get.

and yes, they do get big.

>>25273408
...I can't even imagine how that mouth is supposed to work.

>>25273408
Why did all the metal species have to die?

>>25273429
To the degree that biologists will wipe out entire lakes just to get rid of the fuckers

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>>25273281

>>25273400
And yet, to hear the Japanese tell it, the non-poisonous parts are delicious.

>>25273424
lower jaw takes a lot of abuse over the years, this guy just keeps growing more jaw to abuse

...probably, the other plausibility is that the spiral tooth formation serves some nefarious evolutionary advantage

>>25273500
I've been able to deal with everything else in this thread just fine...

But this fucking image makes me want to NOPE all the way to the fucking desert.

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>>25273443
Actually, nowadays they think it looked more like this. The spiral actually included reserve teeth that were supposed to replace lost ones. Only instead of rows like with modern sharks, it was all one long line.

>>25273566
That's still goofy as hell looking

>>25273566
Hm. Better, but it still looks...odd :|

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>>25273500

>>25273577
>>25273585
Evolution has its dead ends.

>>25273577
precursor tech ussually does

>>25273585
>>25273613
>tfw you realize the human brain is programmed to look at evolutionary structures and intuitively notice flaws in the designs

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>this entire thread

GRABBING ASSAULT HARPOON

MOVING TO DESERT

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Freeze. or he'll get you

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>>25273613

>>25273650
>"Help me! Something horrible is chewing on my ass!"

>>25273637
Sure, there's poisonous snakes and arachnids everywhere, but on the bright side, peyote!

>>25273659
Saving this for a rainy day.

>>25273637
I think you mean
>Grab APS
>Go innadesert

>>25273671
Thank god for the Precambrian die-off

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Another freshwater fish.

>>25273408

I could actually see that being feasible. Some muscles attached to it could allow it to be used like a tongue to grab food. The teeth would ensure it couldn't get away, and deliver it to the mouth for consumption.

>>25273719
>tfw a fish has better looking teeth then you do.

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>>25273637
>MOVING TO DESERT
You're going to want this instead then.

there is a chance I will be working on an oil rig this year /tg/, doing underwater welding work


you guys are not making this easy

>>25273659
i know that porn

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Yet another freshwater fish.

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>>25273761
All I've got is this, how screwed am I?

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>>25273789
This crustacean has hollowed out the gelatinous, barrel-like body of a salp. She will lay her eggs inside and will take it with her and watch over it even after her young have hatched.

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>>25273822

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>>25273785
Hey buddy

Whatcha doin?

Weldin?

How u weld unda da sea?

Imma bite you, see if you taste good.

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>>25273785
try not to think about what may be lurking hundreds of meters below you as you hang on a cable dangling over an abyss

>>25273604

Apparently Mola Mola are technically plankton, in that they don't have enough swimming power to move on their own. They just sort of float along on currents.

>>25271397
Is there an artist source for this one? This looks awesome.

>>25273555
Imagine sticking your dick in it.

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sea critters are all fine and terrifying, but what really scares me is the thought of something from beyond lying on the ocean floor for eons

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2197489/So-Baltic-Sea-UFO-alien-saucer-underwater-Nazi-base-No--just-rocks-claim-debunkers.html

>>25273846
>It was but a ruse!

>>25273928
Looks like one of those flower/vagina paintings.

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Isn't it adorable?

>>25274072
It kinda is, yeah.

Mermaids have it rough, huh

>>25274119
There's a reason they're extinct.

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>>25273637
Uh, dude...

Bad news.

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>>25272683

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>>25274134
It's not our fault they were delicious.

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ITT a bunch of people who don't watch River Monsters and think they should only be afraid of the ocean. Best to stay about 20 ft from any body of water, including mud puddles

>>25274187
OH GOD FUCKING WHAT

>>25273123
>>25273162
I agree, for some reason I saw the image and thought "the average New yorker on any day of the week."

>>25270663
That looks fucking delicious.

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>>25272143
So the Hebikera from Nausicaa are flying bobbit worms

>>25273500
What? No. That's not a thing. Is that a thing? A turtle?!? That's not a thing.
OH GOD WHY IS THAT A THING?!?

I'm fine with everything else in this thread, but this fucking thing is getting to me.

Dunkleosteus

>3 ft long and weighed as much as 4 tons

>tank with fins

>>25274215

Fucking LOVE River Monsters

>>25274296
I call it Freshwater Fangly Fish.

>>25274283
>3 feet long
>weighs 4 tons
What the fuck? It'd have to be made of solid lead to be that heavy.

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some of these are alive today