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>>25552460
PRAISE HIM!

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Bumpin

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Bump

>>25552533
You beat me to it

>>25552485
>100% princess!

every time

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>>25552460
H-hey Dad? It's my birthday. You said we'd go do some crusading

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>>25554713
Horus for fuck's sake can't you go five goddamn minutes without the man's attention?

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Through my deeds, do I praise him. Through my survival, do I thank him. Through the blood of my enemies, do I revere him.

>>25554760
Can't YOU go five minutes without dissapearing into a brooding darkness and muttering "I'm Batman..."?

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>>25552460
LAUNCH THE MACRO-ATOMIC BOMBS AND READY THE LANCES FOR A THIRD BOMBARDMENT!

PRAISE HIM ON EARTH!

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>>25554780
Yes!
No.

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>>25554713
It'll be O.K man, come on, lets go cause some chaos over there.

>>25554778
Until some hot piece of xeno ass comes along

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I LOVE THE BIG HUMIE WARBOSS!

WE'Z GONNA KRUMP DEM POINTY HUMIES, AIN'T WE BOYZ?

>>25554815
Has anyone seen Lorgar? He said he had something to show me. Also everyone, stay away from Sanguinius. He's acting weird. I think he's on his period

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>>25554854
Well, er, that is to say...

Look, I remove the enemies of man from the field of battle one way or another, and that's all that counts in the end.

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>>25554866
I saw him over there. Or was it over there? Or maybe I am Lorgar? You'll never know...

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>>25554872
No.

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>>25554872
That's not how it works young man. Straight to the penal colony, and no supper.

>>25554894
Will you two stop talking at the same time!? It's really freaky.

Also, if I open another astropathic message from you and it's just a projection of Rick Astleius again, I swear I'm gonna punch one of you in the face.

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>>25554896
>>25554906
Awww man... Can I keep the cool mask at least?

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>>25554936
HORUS! IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU! SHALL WE GO DRINKING!? LET'S GO DRINKING! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DRINKING CONTEST!

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>>25554960

HORUS! LET'S GO BOWLING!

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>>25554960
Oh fuck, not this drunk asshole again.

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>>25554979
WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I KICKED THE CRAP OUT YOUR PRIMARCH BACK IN THE DAY! JUST BECAUSE I'VE HAD A LITTLE TO DRINK, YOU THINK YOU CAN SPEAK TO ME!? *Falls over*

>>25554960
Sure! But I swear to dad, no more trying to get me black out drunk and fuck a wolf again.

Also, did Bjorn ever wash out the vomit from that dreadnought chassis he vomited into? I feel bad for whoever's gonna be stuck in that thing for a couple centuries

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>>25555023
*Pops up again* NOW I DEFINITELY WON'T MAKE YOU FUCK A WOLF! THERE ARE BEARS ON FENRIS TOO. BJÖRN IS STILL SLEEPING OFF THAT HANGOVER. IT'S OKAY, HE'S YOUNG AND NOT GOING TO SUFFER A TERRIBLE FATE ANY TIME SOON.

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>>25555022
...somebody go get the damn wheelbarrow and pour His Majesty's Most Sozzled Executioner back onto his battle barge.

>>25555055
Alright, My legion could go for some drinks (and you do have the only alcohol in the galaxy that can get an astartes drunk).
Plus it's always hilarious to see you pull some drunken pranks on Magnus... and watch him retaliate.

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Ave Imperator!

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>>25555093
YES, MY PRANKS ARE FUNNY. LIKE THAT TIME I PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE FOR NO REASON AND THEN RAN AWAY. CLASSIC! OR THE TIME I SET FIRE TO SOME OLD LIBRARY. HE WAS ALL "Russ, those books are millions of years old!" AND I WAS LIKE "QUIT BEING SUCH A BOOK READING FAGGOT MAGNUS!" SO FUNNY!

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>>25555137
Hey babe. Want to get your heretic on!? I've got some warp dust and booze from Russ's personal stash!

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>>25555172
mfw a heretic was a heretic near me

Fuck this and fuck you. I don't give a shit if you 40k retards want to jack off in your corner, but making retarded topics for your retarded literal worship of a retarded fictional dead guy is a pain in the ass.

Yes I can (and intend to) collapse this so I don't have to look at your stupidity anymore, but when I have to collapse 3/4 of the topics because it's fucking sperglords like you taking a joke seriously and making topics about it that serve no goddamned purpose and are just going to be remade in an hour from now, then it's a serious fucking hassle. I barely get any decent topics on the front page and collapse doesn't work on the catalog.

Basically, clean this board up by killing yourself. Thank you. With much love, someone who isn't stupid to go for the 40k lore.

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>>25555144
I heard Lion was quite infuriated about that as well.
You might want to cut back Leman, or you could return to Terra to find Dad and us standing below a banner that says "INTERVENTIUM."

>>25555193
>Other people having fun?
>Fun with things I don't know about?
>NOT ON MY WATCH!

>>25555193

I don't think your understand just how horribly demented you are. You want multiple people to kill themselves so that the image board you (possibly) frequent will have fewer people who do whatever they feel like doing?

That's fucked up.

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>>25555184
That's it, play hard to corrupt! Have you heard the word of Slaanesh? It's a sort of Orgasmic shriek. I can show you how to make it!

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>>25555193
Shit, forgot to post the pic with my post.

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>>25555256
> Hi, I am heretic. I am so very flammable. You should set me on fire at once!
If you insist.

>>25555199
WHAT DOES THAT WORD MEAN? DOES IT MEAN ALCOHOL?

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>>25555312
FORGOT PICTURE!

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>>25555193

Ok, you don't like 40k. That's been made apparent. I'm not particularly crazy about all these quest threads or pseudo-/d/ threads popping up myself, but I don't storm in and take a shit in the punch bowl. Know why? It's a free board. Go find a thread that does interest you, or make one. Nobody's stopping you. Disrupting an existing thread because you don't like it accomplishes nothing for anyone. And, I might add, leave for a time and go do something relaxing, as you are clearly full of Mad and that's no good for any involved parties.

Thank you. With much love, a well-balanced elegan/tg/entleman

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>>25555312
No, Lema-... *sigh*

Speaking of Magnus, has anyone seen him or Lorgar? Lorgar wanted to show me something. Must be very important if he managed to take the time to stop preaching about our Father. (and wipe the brown from his nose)

>>25555193

>retarded fictional dead guy

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>>25555358
This. There's no point in getting mad at people on here. You're not going to change anybody's mind on the matter. All you're doing is putting negative feels into yourself for no real gain.

Best /tg/ is the threads that you like. Stick to those, and you'll enjoy the board much more.

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>>25555385
That stupid Viking isn't around is he? I can't stand be anywhere near him. He smells like a wolf orgy marinated in mead.

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>>25555460
Our dear sister speaks true. Only the fools and the irredeemable give into rage and madness

>>25555193
Hmn what this guy said: >>25555358
But if you'd like to suggest mass board scouring like you are implying.., I do suggest all the aforementioned fucking quest threads or pseudo-/d/ first.
And second
Then third
before we bother with the warhammies.

>>25555460

I wish more people understood this.

>>25555480
With a hint of vomit.

So, how goes the crusade with your legion. I heard about the restrictions on all of your... abilities.


Son of a bitch!! That little upstart Abbadon went joyriding with my Battle-Barge again!! Whole thing reeks like a rave at Fulgrim's place

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Sup, guys? How's it hanging?

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>>25555548
Pic

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>>25555556
What is this, and why is it greeting us?

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>>25555548
>>25555563
Yeah, dad's being a complete kill joy. He says I'm too young to physic. I think it's because everyone is better than him at something, he needs this to feel useful. I might keep it up on the down low. I heard rumours that you were thinking of moving out?

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Is the Omnissiah also welcomed here?

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>>25555607
Yeah, Lorgar said I could crash with him and his legion. Dad's too busy in his fortress with his "experiments."

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>>25555586

I'm a God Emperor much like yours. I have come to save mankind, and I must be the bad guy in order to do so. Because I can take it, because I'm the hero mankind needs, but not the one it deserves. I'm a dark knight.

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>>25555666
KILL IT WITH FLASHLIGHTS!!

>>25555665
If you can call getting hight in the basement with that freak Malcador an experiment. That stupid oath Russ says he might check in on Prospero sometime soon. He said he was bringing guests as well. I hope it's not another of his pranks.

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>>25555702
Pic

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>>25555666
I strongly doubt that for some reason.

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>>25555695
>>25555712

Do what you must then. This is only one step you could have taken to find your salvation. Mankind must not be allowed to stagnate.

Would your god fuse himself with a xeno and become the enemy man needs in order to find your salvation?

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>>25555747
No, because that's heresy.

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>>25555702
I heard he took a bunch of stuff from mars right before he left, and at the last party on Fenris I saw a crudely drawn blueprint for replacing all his ships guns with shaving cream. So... yeah, that's a possibility

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>>25555747

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>>25555747
If he had to become the enemy of mankind, he wouldn't be the god-emperor then. He'd just be another malignant force out to kill the Imperium. And that's heresy and treason!

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>>25555799
One of these days... How's Lorgar by the way? Still dad's little pet?

>>25555804

Is that really heresy and treason? If one becomes the enemy that mankind needs in order to survive and thrive for millenia to come is that heresy? Is becoming the enemy treason if it helps man realize he must never rely on one power alone and this sparks his further conquest of the universe in the name of mankind?

Your people are so shortsighted. Would it be better to let mankind become reliant on spice and Arrakis for mere survival and allow them to stagnate and die? I chose the path of life for man, why don't you?

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>>25555864
Yeah, though lately he hasn't been as preachy. Saw him outside the palace a while ago, pouting with his book smashed against the wall.

Although, he did seem excited the other day and said there was something he really wanted to show me.

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>>25555954

>>25555954
"Thriving" is too strong of word for humanity, probably better described as "being consumed by forces within and without due to way too much war rather than not enough."

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>>25555956
Probably some massive statue of dad. The guys got no imagination. Have you talked to Angron recently? He was a little mad when dad said you were the new boss.

>>25555963
Objectively, the God-Emporer of Dune is fucked in this universe.

Just saiyan.

>>25552499
Gotta say, don't like pictures where he's a skeleton.

How could he be a skeleton? He needs to be alive to keep being a psychic beacon.

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>>25556008
He did seem like he was cursing every other word rather than one in three.

I don't worry about it though. We've always been cool. I'll just keep him busy. He's always happy as long as he's conquering and fighting.

I usually tell Leman that Angron replaced his beer with water whenever one of them bothers me too much

>>25552499
>>25556051
I'd be more concerned that he apparently has two left arms.

thank you god-emperor
you are a wonderful person and you smell like global warming

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>>25556061
Holy terra, wouldn't it be great if they just killed each other? Apart from the whole 'immortal thing'.

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>>25554760
>>25554894
>>25554960
>>25555480
Hey, guys. Family picture's here

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>>25556183
>>25556061
>>25556051
>>25555963
>>25555963
>>25555963

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>>25556205
Really brings out the red in my skin.

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>>25556183
Come on. Uniting the galaxy's hard enough without fighing each other.

Though Leman's really starting to annoy me, and I'm getting tired of Sanguinius' "I'm the perfect balance of our father's traits and the picture of perfection."

*muttering* If only dad knew...

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>>25556266
Can you imagine a crusade without Russ, Lorgar and Angron? We might be able to actually be able to talk to aliens rather than killing them all without a second thought.

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>>25556287
You know what dad says about talking to aliens.

There was that one time Russ and an Ork had a drinking contest. He single-handedly won a planet and redefined "nbeing smashed"

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>>25556378
Dad says lot's. He told Lorgar to stop worshipping him, and look where that went.

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>>25556008
YOURE DAD-DAMNED RIGHT I'M PISSED!!!!!

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>>25556453
Yeah I think that's why he was skulking. Dad finally ripped his lips from his ass

Makes me wonder what he wanted to show or tell me

>>25556493
*Sigh* Hey Angron! Nice to see you. Sorry, just had a ethernet call, must dash.

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>>25556493
>>25556493
Maybe that's why Dad didn't choose you. Do you have any idea how many astartes we lose when you tell them "FUCK THEIR GUNS AND ARTILLERY! RUN UP AND JAM AN AXE UP THEIR ASSES, THEY WON"T BE ABLE TO SHOOT THEN!!"


(Captcha: Cirrisly dickular)

>>25556546
WHY YOU IN A HURRY? ME AND SOME OF ROBS FRIENDS WERE JUST GETTING IN SOME BACKYARD BLOOD BALL IN! COME JOIN US, IT'S FULL CONTACT!

>>25556607
Take Ezekyle with you. He keeps taking the Land Raiders for a spin on Terra because he thinks they're "Babe magnets"

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>>25556588
WELL IF THEY CAN'T SHOOT STRAIGHT, THEN THEY DESERVE A CHAIN AXE TO THE ASSHOLE! AND IF YOU'RE TOO PUSSY TO RIP THEIR COCK OFF, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING AN ASTARTE!

>>25556658
Any truth to the rumor that you're lobotomizing your recruits?

Good thing Dad's too busy in the basement to go looking into it.

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>>25556658
Any truth to the rumour that you spent the first day with your legion killing the captains?

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Greeting my brothers. what did I miss, also is Roboute still writing that ridiculous book of his?

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>>25556702
WE HAD SOME FIELD PROMOTIONS, WHAT'S IT TO YA?!?

>>25554836
wallpaper size of that would be great.

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>>25556772
You know there's a problem when one of your brothers talks like an ork and thinks like on too.

>>25556712
He also said something about making all the legions smaller. What do you think of that?

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>>25556712
Hello, Rogal. Last I heard he was still giddy after receiving his own legion. He wanted to pitch it to me when he finished but I don't know.

>>25556658
Last I checked, only humans and small xenos go running from an astartes with a glorified toothpick. Even my gauntlet has bolters mounted on the top

>>25556813
Don't forget looks like one.

Decimating the size of the legions is ridiculous. There's no way we'd be able to defend the imperium effectively.

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>>25556813
No, that seems like a horrid idea, next thing you know he'll claim to have written the handbook for astartes combat.

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>>25556818
YOLO

>>25556785
I second this notion.

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>>25556866
Or that not following his book is heresy!

>>25556867
You see this? This is why everyone hate you.

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>>25556867
Is that one of the strange chants I've heard that your legion shouts now?

>>25555286
that's hot.
heheheheheheh

>>25556866

Is it me or does Rogal Dorn in this picture look like Tom Hanks?

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>>25556904
He might have picked it up from his days as a gladiator...

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>>25556904
THATS THE MOTTO! EVERY DAY, FUCK WHAT ANYBODY SAY!

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>>25556933
Maybe that's why Dad thought about leaving him there. I'm sure he said it right before all his friends were slaughtered by the slavers

>>25556919
just a bit actually, get the real hanks to build some muscle and we might get a movie if its done right.

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>>25555193
>Being this mad at your God Emperor
Someone wants a super spanking

>>25556992
WHAT DAD, DID THAT LITTLE SHIT MAGNUS TATTLE ON ME? HE THINKS HE'S SOO COOL JUST CUZ HE READS ALL THOSE DAMN BOOKS "YOU'VE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF"

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>>25557170

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>>25556941
>>25556933
>>25556884

I apologize my brothers. It is wrong for us to fight in the service of our Father. When so much of the galaxy belongs to each of us to conquer.

>>25554894
Shut up guys, you're drunk again. What did I tell you about hanging out with Leman?

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I worship the one true ruler of man

captcha: obvious schaeyst

>>25555325
>>25555312
Seriously, Leman, if you're going to drink that much, stay on your damn ship. You're making a fool of yourself.

This is the best thing ever

>>25555491
HA! Listen to this jackoff. What are you going to preach next; don't be a glory-crazed fool and insist on being at the front even though you've got half a million soldiers to direct?

>>25555556
How's my brotha from anotha galaxy?

>>25557297
Well....

>>25556712
>>25556813
>>25556818
>>25556844
>>25556866

I am not writting a "book", I am writting a CODEX! LEARN THE DIFFERENCE.

And you bet your sorry ass that in the future my CODEX will be used as a reference by every chapter!

It's as certain as the fact that I can beat both Lograr and Angron simultaneously.

>>25555799
You'd think with his psychic powers Dad would be able to handle Russ's booze. At least he didn't call me his "pretty little princess" again.

Hey guys, what's going on her-

Aw ork turds...

>>25556008
>Angron
>A little mad
How is this anything other than "Wednesday"?

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Seriously! Has ANYONE seen Lorgar!?

He said he had something to tell me and now he's nowhere to be found.

>>25557297
I know, right? It just screams"Hey, I'm the leader, shoot me!" At least Alpharius and Konrad know how to stick to the shadows. Though Konrad is getting a tad carried away with that whole "Night Haunter" bit.

>>25557383
*cough* Batman *cough*

>>25557346
Fulgrim, nobody calls you like that.

We all know about that incident on Luna. Ferrus told us about it. If you want us to call you a Princess just say so.

>>25557381
Think he was heading to some backwater near that odd nebula... Think the planet was... Cadia, maybe? Said he had to do some "soul searching."

>>25557381

Lorgar said he was gonna do some sort of "Pilgrimage" or something like that, must be back by now.

Why don't you just call him ?

And stop making fun of my Codex

>>25557403
Remember when Leman taped that paper that said "Bitch, I'm Fabulouuuuus!" to the back of his armor?

>>25557396

You better stop annoying your brothers or I'm afraid I'm gonna have to whoop your ass like I did back when your father instructed me to.

And also during that time you challenged me to a wrestling match.

>>25557413
>>25557422
Alright I should probably go check on him. This shouldn't take long.

Soon as I find where Abbadon's run off to with my Battle-Barge. He's probably joy-riding somewhere around Terra.

>>25557422
I, for one, don't mind the Codex, Roboute. I think the idea of one big blob of Astartes just begs for a planet-killer to the face. With these "Chapters" you propose, we could have a wider coverage area, and be able to make smaller, more precise strikes.

>>25557432

How could I forget that ? I laughed so hard I almost crashed my battle barge on the Imperial Palace.

But I think he really gave it away when he coloured his Legion pink.

PINK ASTARTES.

Say, whatever happened to the 2nd and 11th legion?

>>25557422
>>25557468
At the cost of dividing our forces. There's a fine line between healthy competition and outright conflict that we must be aware of.

I joke, but the Codex is very well written, Robuete. So long as it remains a flexible and adaptable guideline rather than stringent rules.

>>25557468

Thank you brother, and thanks again for reviewing that draft I sent you, your insight on hit and run tatics will surely gain a few chapters on their own.

If only I could get Alpharius to read it... maybe he would stop with his non-sense tatics.

>>25557499
We don't know. And from Father's tone we don't want to.

I hope [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] are alright. Wherever they are

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>>25557381
Sorry brother, I was hanging out with some new friends of mine. You should really meet them. We are having a barbeque at their lodge on Saturday. You should come!

>>25557518
That could be the big flaw, couldn't it. Imagine if some great, incredibly adaptive, I dunno... Space... Bugs?- were to invade, and the initial tactics only worked once. We would need to be able to think on our feet.

>>25557531

You can take your Codex and cram it. Writting all your tatics and strategy on a book only makes you so goddamn predictable!

If I wanted to go to war with you all I needed to do was look at your book and know all about the strategy you were using.

>>25557531
I've talked with him, and he's been thinking of sending some of his men around to the different legions to gauge what type of tactics work best. I think your talk with him might have had a positive effect after all.

>>25557550
So long as our legions are together, and our strategies varied, I think the only ones who could theoretically stand against us would be each other.

>>25557518

Of course Brother, it is just a guide after all.

I pitty the marine who thinks the Codex is a rulebook set in stone!

Can you imagine that ? Such fool would probably even have a silly name, like... Leandros or something like that.

>>25557558

Emperor-damit Alpharius!

All I want to do is help you! Your tatics are far too complex and complicated! There's too much webbing, secrecy and planning! One day you are gonna lose yourself inside all your veils and secrecy and infiltration work.

>>25557585
I thought I overheard you and Sanguinius saying something like that the last time you- er... WE met. Wouldn't want to see the results of your two legions going at it... wouldn't be pretty.

>>25557601
Or Marneus...
Seriously, who would wish that name on their kid.
Especially if they had an equally ridiculous surname, like Calgar.

>>25557601

Bla bla bla bla.

I swear to god. One of those days I'm gonna march agaisnt you just to prove your stupid Codex works for nothing!

By the way, you aren't even arguing with me! Or are you ? You'll never know!

>>25557548
Alright, I'm sure it will be interesting to meet whomever has brought you out of your emotional divot.

I can trust my legion in the hands of Ezykiel. Maybe...

>>25557621

Indeed, those would be silly names. I laugh myself at that thought. Marines such as those would undoubtly have very poor decision making skills and wouldn't be very far-sighted.

They'd probably allow a Space Hulk filled with bug-like carnivore Xenos to invade their own planets!

Hey guys... Just so you know, I am here...
Not that any of you care...

>>25557630
It'd stay way from Lorgar brother...

He has been acting very... "shadowy" lately... and that Erebus fellow doesn't look like he's up to something good.

>>25557647
And they would probably lose entire companies to said Xenos. The name also implies incompetence, so I am willing to bet that such an idiot would count such losses as a resounding victory.

>>25557623

WHY YOU LITTLE... *sigh* Calm yourself Robouette, he's young, he still has much to learn...

>>25557602
Sanguinius has always been close with me. It seems we don't fight as much as some of the rest of us.

I would hate to fight against him but as we know, knowing your enemy is the key to victory.

Especially their darkest secrets...

>>25557668
Well, ya kinda did raze an entire planet he had taken over. Granted, he was in the wrong for building pops up as some sorta god figure, but still man... you may have gone a tad too far. Hope that Erebus and Kor Phaeron have talked him down off the proverbial ledge.

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>>25557630
Indeed brother, they have shown me the way. Really, you could say they CHANGED my outlook on things.

>>25557664

They care Mortarion, they care.

You should stop putting yourself down my brother.

It's just that... you insist on using these old garbs... and your legion smells like rotting fish...

>>25557713
Yeah, Erebus and Kor Phaeron introduced me to these guys. A real PLEASURE to be around

>>25557711
Yeah, but he isn't the enemy, so if he's going through some problems, you should give him a hand.

>>25557713

I only did as father instructed brother.

It's not like I forced his entire legion to sit down and look at my legion burn all the priceless works of art they had creat... oh shit, I did that.

I hope Lorgar won't be too pissed for long.

>>25557664
Greetings, brother!
How goes the crusade in your sectors?
Perhaps you need a break? go to one of Fulgrim or Leman's parties... Just keep an eye on who touches your drinks....

>>25557749

HA-HA!

SOMEBODY PISSED OFF THE POPE!

>>25554872
im pretty sure love can bloom on the battlefield

>>25557718
If I can ask you, please keep your troops from testing their flamers next time they're aboard one of my ships. Some of those toxic gasses are kinda flammable, and I don't want to lose any of my ships to internal combustion.

>>25557714
Will Erebus be joining us, my brother? He has been an intriguing conversationalist of late

Perhaps a change of perception will lead to new insights on this war.

>>25557403

YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA TELL ANYONE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED ON LUNA YOU GIGA-SMURF SON OF A-

I mean... nothing happened on Luna... nothing that I need to be ashamed of... because... yerr... HEY WHO WANTS TO LOOK AT SOME NAKED ELDAR PICTURES ? THEY ARE SURE HOT, THOSE FEMALE ELDARS!

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>>25557804
Me!

>>25555199
why does horus look like vin diesel

>>25557790

Brother, no offense, but... there would be no Toxic Gases on your ships if you hadn't replaced your Legion's rations with Plutonian Beans.... if you know what I mean.

Seriously, we can't stand the smell, that's why we turn on the flamers so much.

>>25557747
He and his legion have been going through tough times of late. But he handles it better than most.

>>25557790
You should be careful of those toxins brother. Even the resistant bodies of our astartes aren't impervious to disease.

>>25557751
It goes. Long and grueling, as usual. Typhon has been getting on my case lately, keeps complaining about aches and pains, don't see how he could be suffering from any of that...
Also keeps talking about his grandfather. Didn't think he had one. Gotta ask father when next I see him.

Why has no one tried to clone the emperor?

>>25557804

Oh c'mon Ferrus! I know you liked it! Don't do this to me, my poor heart can't take it.

>>25557849
Umm... We're all standing RIGHT here.

>>25557849
They're called space marines.

>>25557849
>>25557868

Yeah... all 20 of us... and not one more!

Nope! Not another unknown brother that happens to be my twin which I'm conviniently hidding from you guys. Nope. Not at all.

>>25557862
Ferrus, I heard that you won a beauty contest with those "Dark Eldar." Is this true? Was that how you sent their raider fleet packing?

>>25557893
Derp, meant Fulgrim... Dad DAMN Russ brews a mean drink.

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>>25557849

>>25557839
Indeed. Perhaps I should look into all those whispers I heard last time I visited Manus, Alpharius, and Omegon's legions.

Something about "...As planned..."

>>25557893

WHO TOLD YOU - I mean... I know not of which you talk about, brother. What you imply would be most unmanly, and I am certain that most manly of us here. Manly, very manly. Yes. Yes I am. And there was no funny business with Fulgrim either.

>>25557862

Shut up you or I'm hitting you with that hammer I made for you.

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>>25557889
Yup.

>>25557909

And how the hell do you know about Omegon ?!

Not that there's a Omegon... maybe I just wanted you all to think that.

>>25557889
even the lost two? WHERE ARE THEY? THEY OWE ME SPACE MONEY.

Why does everyone always forget about me?

>>25557906
Careful. Next thing you know he'll convince you to go "Dreadnought Jousting"

>>25557932

*whispers*Omegon goddamit, they are gonna find out, go pretend you're one of Corvus marines.

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Yeah, real grateful Dad. Thanks a lot for splitting my Legion into tiny bits. Real happy about that.

>>25557947
Nobody forgets about you, bro. You just have a habit of going off and doing your own thing. By the by, Russ was looking for you, wanting to discuss something about Wolf Cavalry, or something.

>>25557975

Can't you go a single moment without complaining about something father did to you ?

Go play that tabletop game you like to play.

>>25557947
We never forget you, dear brother. We just figured you were out hunting again

>>25557959
Did you say something, brother

>>25557975
>>25557988
Will you two go 10 minutes without fighting. I swear we never go to the beach because we know you two would get into a fight about who's sand-castle is better every time.

>>25557999
Nope, didn't say anything.

>>25557975
>>25557988
Okay, don't the two of you go starting shit again.
Here's an idea, why don't you each build a fortress, and have the other lay siege to it. Whoever holds out the longest, or inflicts the higher 'casualties' is the winner.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6c5RZL9Skw&list=RD02dNv1ImIa1-4

>>25558015
Just checking. Who was that guy, anyway? Your new Legion Champion?

>>25558009

Fine...

but he better stop calling himself "master of defense", that's clearly a title that belongs to me.

>>25558017
This is why I suggested sand-castles. You just know they're gonna want to do it at the Imperial Palace

Hail the Empra full of grace.

Slap a chicken in the face.

>>25558037

Oh nobody, just a neophyte whom I've taken under my wing, poor guy can't find the shooting end of a Bolter. He admires me a lot apparently, even tries to look like me.

>>25558043
Yeah, and knowing Perty, he's going to have a sign over his that says something like "Iron Cage" or something...

>>25558041

Why do I feel that one day your temper is gonna get you neck deep in trouble and I'll have to bail you out ?

>>25557849

No I mean a LITERAL clone. Yes its heresy but at the same time can you really claim that after all this time not a single zealot remained among the ranks of those ruling over tera?

>>25558062
I know that feel a bit, bro, people idolizing you. But getting his face reconstructed to look like you... Be careful, I saw this ancient holo once, called "Unattached Caucaisian Female" or something, where the roommate of the main character tried to become her, even tried killing her and taking her place.

>>25558068
With clearly defined entrances and exits. And a glowing gold sign above it.

You'd have to be a fool to attack a fortified position head on....

>>25558090
Cloning... Hmmm...
You still shouldn't be talking about our dad like he's some corpse on a chair. But cloning...

>>25558107
Or Angron... Though same thing half the time...

>>25558129
The man has a penchant for ignoring bullet impacts

>>25558149
Least he's not as bad as Russ on a full bender. Ran with him one time, and he was trying to HEADBUT BULLETS.
The scary part was he was SUCCEEDING HALF THE DAMNED TIME!

>>25558149
WHAT, YOU THINK A WALL WILL STOP ME AND MY WORLD EATERS?!? I CAN CRUMBLE AND FORTRESS BY SCREAMING AT IT!

>>25558118

Since you mentioned cloning...

I think you should talk to Malcador, he's been talking about creating a new "deep-space" legion named after sharks from your gene-seed

You didn't hear it from me

>>25558195
Dude, seriously, you need some downtime. Maybe get yourself a pet. I hear cats are good at lowering blood pressure, and are pretty easy to care for.

>>25558176
>>25558195
I always wondered what would happen if they had to fight each other with their hands welded behind their backs. So the only action they could take would be headbutting.


Of course this is entirely hypothetical. I would hate to see my brothers fight.

I'm sensing mild hostility towards me from all of you...

>>25558206
Maybe I will, if I ever need it. I mean, right now I have no shortage of troops, but if something were to go seriously wrong... Well... I'd like to have options.

Also, sharks are pretty nifty, so no harm done.

Speaking of new groups of Astartes, Magnus, some of your boys were talking with mine about the symbology of a raven, and just what it was. They seemed to be hooked on the idea of acquiring artifacts by any means. Might want to keep an eye on... Oh shit, sorry. Didn't mean to phrase it like that. Shit, man... Now I feel bad.

>>25558249
SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD TIME TO ME! BLOOD POURING DOWN SKULLS AND ALL!

>>25558259
Nah, bro, you're cool. Been trying to get Konrad to try something with me, it's called "Base Jumping" and basically you throw yourself off of a high place, and see how far you can fall before deploying safety measures. Figure Me and Konrad with our Packs, and you with your Wings, would be one hell of an adventure. Whaddaya say?

>>25558306

Oh, wait, no. I'm just getting the feed off Angron. Psyker powers are weird, yo.

>>25558259
My dear, sweet brother, we mean no hostility towards you. How goes things with your legion?

>>25558306
Look, lord Angron... Yarn... See how it rolls... That's right... Reelaaax...

Sorry 'bout that my lords, he slipped out of his sleep restraints.

>>25558313

So it's kinda like that time y'all got drunk, tied me up and threw me off that tower in dad's palace?

... Good times. Hang on, I'll ditch Azkaellon.

>>25558330
You should talk to Magnus. He said something about weird presences and feelings from his psyker powers

>>25558343

Weird things. One of my boys loves his knives too much, other guys are doing the Johnson and wearing hoods AT ALL TIMES. Then there's my bodyguard doing the weird 'arms outstretched' pose thing... Seriously, whenever he thinks I'm not looking.

Weird times, Horus. But all in all, rather swell.

>>25558373
'Least you didn't wake up next to one of Russ' wolves, naked.
Fulgrim

>>25558281

No offense taken...

>>25558379
So what did Lorgar wanted after all ?

I've been hearing stories about this wound you took and how Magnus got into some shit with Dad and how Abaddon freaked out and took you to a witch or something

>>25558424

And I thought I screamed like a girl. Had to change all the armaglass on board the Tear after that night.

And he's still blaming Russ. Fulgrim's such a dweeb.

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Praisan' the only Emprah that matters.

>>25558379

Sire, I believe Abbadon is returning from his... joy ride.

I think he may have run into some orks, based on the scans.

>>25558453

Finnubar's quite the bro.

>>25558411
I know what you mean. One of my champions thinks he's my clone or something. Erebus keeps convincing my astartes to put up weird sigils. And some of my boys think we should go full Russ and completely embrace the wolf aspect. I don't think their livers could take it. Half of them would be dead of alcohol poisoning within a month

>>25558466
Shit, if it's orks, just send Russ. He'll drink 'em all to death.

>>25558510

No, I don't think you understand, Lord Primarch.

He RAN INTO some Orks. A croozer by the size of the stain.

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>>25558468
Korhil is the bro that will save the universe.

>>25558466
>>25558436
>>25558468
Emperor-damn it! I just had the thing cleaned after the last time. Alright, I better go see what Lorgar and his "friends" want. See you guys later.

>>25558444
yeah, well at least you didn't walk in on him polishing the hammer to pics of those exodite eldar "riding" their lizard mounts. I still have nightmares.

>>25557987
Again? Seriously? A-fucking-gain? I've told him once, I've told him twice, canines don't have the right spine for it. Winds of Chogoris, he's probably just sitting in a pile of puppies with broken backs.

>>25558550

I'm in the Mournival, my Lord.

It's a nightly affair for him.

Still, it could be worse, I've heard that Lucien has taken to cutting himself after I beat him.

>>25558566
He keeps going on and on about how in a few generations he can breed them to be sturdier. Maybe in like 10 thousand years they'll have wolves that can haul a marine around, but I doubt it will happen any time soon.

>>25558585
My sympathies, man. Gotta be hell on the eyes.

>>25558538

AH, Ezekyle can handle it. Boys will be boys, after all.

>>25558585

Something's always been wrong with that boy.

>>25558616
I get the feeling he'll probably succeed as well, despite the fact he knows bugger all about animal handling. It's like the less he knows about something, the better he is at it.

*crashes in through a window*
I AM THE NIGHT HAUNTER!
*crashes out through another window*

>>25558714
Good to know, Konny. Good to know.

>>25558700
I know, it's like he doesn't know that he could fail, and that insulates him from failing.
>>25558714
What the fuck was that about?!

>>25558714

When the Emperor assigned be as Chief Custodian, I didn't think I'd be a BABYSITTER for his CRAZY ASS SONS.

Konrad get back in here, time for your meds

*Jumps through window*

>>25558734

He's in one of his moods. One time, he snuck into my room and called me 'Arbiter Commander Gordon'.

>>25558663

Seriously, you lose once because of the unexpected, and then you go emo?

And this guy is a Captain?

>>25558780

Eh, it's not like he was lucky enough to have something approaching parents growing up.

>>25558778
YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THE HAUNTER'S CROWN! I AM THE NIGHT! I AM THE FEAR THAT LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MEN! I AM A TOASTER!

>>25558780
He's not going to start shouting baseless accusations at us again, is he?

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>>25558714
>>25558663
>>25558585
>>25558363
>>25558306
>>25558062
>>25557975
>>25557862
>>25557839
>>25557804
Hey, Everyone...
I'm back.
Alpharius, Angron, Fulgrim, Konrad, Lorgar, Magnus, Mortarion, Perturabo. I believe we have something to discuss......


(I shit you not, Captcha: wicked tterible)

>>25558780
He occasionally refers to me as a foe from another dimension, something like "The Fowl Owlman." Whatever the hell that means.

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>>25558714
Does anyone else get a kick out of picturing Kurze like this?

>>25558835

Ah. Sir, should we prepare for the next system?

>>25558843
Isn't that just Tuesday for him?

>>25558792

It's weird. Russ and Lion didn't have parents and they grew up rather well adjusted. Okay, "well-adjusted" being a relative term.

Also, that Tarvitz fella keeps him more or less in check. I recommended him to Fulgrim for promotion several times, but I keep getting stonewalled.

One of these days, I'm gonna have words with that Commander. 'Eidolon', I think his name was.

>>25558802

GET DOWN FROM THAT BELL TOWER RIGHT NOW KONRAD CURZE OR I'M TELLING YOUR FATHER. GET DOWN RIGHT NOW

>>25558861
Immediately.

>>25558835
Do I have to come? Does it really matter if I'm there?

>>25558876

Saul? Saul's a good guy.

>>25558885

Oh. Well, no rest for the wicked, etc.

>>25558883
NOBODY TELLS THE BAT WHAT TO DO, FOR HE IS JUSTICE AND FEAR AND TACOS!

>>25558835
Is this about the same thing you asked me about earlier?

>>25558898
Your grandfather would like a word with you, I'm sure he has other presents...

>>25558908
Safe travels, bro.

>>25558912

IF YOU DON'T GET DOWN RIGHT NOW I'M GOING OVER THERE AND I'M GONNA BRING MY BELT.

DO YOU WANT THAT ? YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I BRING MY BELT

>>25558932

Wait, the Emperor's father still lives?

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the Emperor into his nth millenium by now? How old is the guy anyways?

>>25558932
Fine, I'll tell Typhon to warm up the Terminus Est, we should be there shortly, barring any unfortunate incidents.

>>25558912

Oh, for fuck's sake... C'mon, Corax. Let's help Valdor.

KONRAD, WE JUST WANT TO HELP! WE CARE ABOUT YOU!

>>25558916

He asked you about something earlier too?

>>25558940
THE BATS BELT IS BETTER, IT HAS MORE UTILITY! NOW I SHALL BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE, FOR THE MIGHTY MOONWOLF HAS SUMMONED ME TO A MEETING OF THE JUST US LEAGUE!

>>25558912
Konrad. There are cookies where we are going. Would you like a cookie?....

>>25558971

THAT'S IT, THE BELT IT IS.

Sanguinis, Dorn hold him down.

>>25558953
Yeah, something about more freedom, less restrictions, an endless hunt. I didn't bite. Seemed like it was going to get in the way of the uniting the stars thing.

>>25558991
COOKIES!

>>25558908
Enough. We depart now, brothers.

See you soon...

>>25559010

H-hey WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ?

AH I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT.

May The Emperor get Malcador to do this, I'm too old and too enhanced for this crap, I'm on the Golden Throne if anyone needs me

>>25559016
Bye, brother! Good hunting!

>>25558953
Dude, the last time I tried to help him, he swung at me and screamed "ZAM." That's about 2 levels of crazy higher than I care to deal with, thank you.

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Just as planned...

>>25559016

Yes... I'll be right there... I just... have to make a choice... kinda difficult one... nothing to do with those Cabal guys... brb

>>25559016
If you need any help just give a holler!