Welcome back Echo.

The war against the Phoenix Empire is swinging in your favor. You've rescued your friends (and secured their knowledge, guaranteeing your technological advantage in the war.)

Also, you've managed to capture Kingfisher's assistant, Shiroshotu, who turned out to be Karen Newgate, Isen's older sister.

Of course, whenever dealing with Kingfisher and his cronies it's never that simple. Especially since you've discovered that Kingfisher's goal isn't conquest, but rather independence from the Empire and the Emperor and Nobility's rule for the Phoenix Colony.

The only problems are that Empire citizens are notoriously speciesist, and Kingfisher is no exception. Also, he has no desire to do anything that benefits the UFK, clearly doesn't trust anyone save himself or anyone he has total control over, and a large part of his plan requires the war to extend as long as possible, casualties be damned.

As an added wrinkle, the Noble House of the Heron has developed a process that allows a person to reshape a person's soul. They can change personal likes/dislikes, install fears and loves, and change almost everything about a person. Their goal is to do this en-mass, turning countless numbers of people into a race that will want to be slaves to the Emperor and the Nobility. Never questioning, never desiring, finding pleasure and contentment in servitude. They need the magical power contained within Citadel to do this. Kingfisher opposes this plan, and is trying to stop it, but, just like the war, he refuses anyone else's help unless he's in full control.

Woo, it's back. I believe last time we left off on lea being stabbed. That really ruined our planned day of mermaid scalp scraping.

We should get back to that then.
>>26436612
I worried for a moment that echo was torn apart by ravenous coyotes. But he wasn't!

File: 1375665339419.gif-(622 KB, 375x211, awwyeah.gif)

622 KB GIF

>Hmmmm. I wonder if there are any good quests on.
>Lamia Quest
>MFW

Let's get to Paladining. And doing zany antics.

>>26436600

Let's see... I believe our plan goes something like:

> Step 1: Blow up Citadel
> Step 2: Blow up the Phoenix Empire
> Step 3: Semi-retire

That seem good?

>>26436762
no, we can't blow up the phoenix empire it's mostly dudes who are kind of depressed with their jobs and racist.

I say we pass out ryan's manifesto to them. Get a revolution going over there why not.

>>26436762
Less blowing them up and more killing the gods involved

>>26436840
less a killing and more a deporting to spirit zone for violating their immigration agreement.

Lea needs a little bit to recover, but she should be fine in a day or two.

"So," Mage says as he chops the vegetables for the stew. "Are we going to try to help with the war, or talk to Isen's crazed sister and see if there's ANOTHER overly complicated plan we can smash to pieces?"

"We do that constantly." Peri says.

"Well, Mab sent a message that says she'd like to talk if we have a chance." Tricia says. "Also, the Paladins sent a message too. Neither of them seems too high priority...well as compared to everything else at least."

>>26436880
"I think right now we should be working on the war. That mermaid goo takes a long time to cook I hear, and I've got a long day of hair scraping ahead of me. I can read the letters at my leisure while I'm playing barber.

Wonder what they want now. I need to talk to Mab at some point about the citadel army showing up once I open that wall."

>>26436832
While we do have some time to complete sidequests and maybe have some R&R (Lea is definitely getting some), I think it's vital we participate in some behind enemy lines missions to discredit Kingfisher's allies. He wants an independent colony, which I don't really have a problem with, but we need to become vital to the establishment of it. Only when he is out of allies will he let us help him.

Furthermore, we should probably test the mental protection with the Bliss Mace. It's the closest to what Citadel would throw at us. And we'd need before and after tests too. To see how unrestrained mindrape affects them and in what way. If the protection fails, we'd have to fight it with willpower alone.

>>26436880
Let's see our mail.

>>26436880
I do want to check up with our fellow paladins, see what they are up to

>>26436880
Mailtime. Let's see what else is going on before we commit to anything else.

I do love me some mailtime.
We've never had a mailtime I didn't like.

>>26437105
>>26436997
>>26436954
"I think right now we should be working on the war. That mermaid goo takes a long time to cook I hear." You say.

"Working on it." Mari says. She hands you the letter.

- - -
Lady Paladin Ssen Patrick,
The progress of the war is going well, however we need to assure our people that is the fact. A display of solidarity between the Paladins is needed.

With that said, we are having an issue. We believe that the ettin are not all loyal to the Empire. If there's a chance we can free them, despite their long term animosity with the orcs, they'll retreat back to their caves, rather than continue to press the offensive.

Also, some delegates from White Tree have arrived. Their defensive wall work, and modifications to Blackpowder cannons have been their salvation, and if we can convince them to share that knowledge with us, it would be a useful coup, also helpful for future negotiation. You know Her Illuminated Self and High Father Billings, so your presence a negotiations would be welcome.

-Lord Paladin Balles.

P.S. Bring your brother if you're helping with White Tree.
- - -

- - -
Paladin Serpent-

Have a lead on some of Kingfisher's people and maybe a way to cause some strife in the slaves. Let's talk.

-Mab

P.S. Bring my Dagda with you, it's been a while and I could use some fun. Don't tell him, I prefer it when he squirms.
- - -

>>26437352
"Oh the poor bastard. Well crew, we've been requested in diplomatic talks with white tree. And we've been asked to free the ettins somehow. We'll learn more about it at the conference.

Oh, and apparently the paladins are going to do some kind of display of solidarity, whatever that means. My money's on it being embarrassing in some way."

>>26437352
I'll be back, the damn coyotes are regrouping...

>>26437352
Well, Mage is totally shafted.

Let's go help out White Tree.

File: 1375667678755.jpg-(33 KB, 336x445, echos_life.jpg)

33 KB JPG

>>26437558
Powerful little guys.

>>26437619
Actually, I think someone in proximity to mage is going to get shafted, at his expense. That's how it usually goes.

>>26437352
"A display of solidarity?"

>>26437352
if we do one of these we should go see Mab, rather give Mage to her over HIS.

>>26437741
I thought we could do both. So much so that I got confused and thought they were at the same place.

File: 1375668221752.jpg-(22 KB, 352x375, 1332969486757.jpg)

22 KB JPG

>>26437352
So, itinerary while we're waiting.

>PE
Free Ettin (which probably will cause the orcs to get bored)
Discredit person in charge of Ettin and speciesist policies(?)
Erode Kingfisher's unwillingness to allow us to help him(?)
Solidarity mission(?)

>WT
Delegation (Lea's presence certainly required)
Solidarity mission(?)

>FW
Ettin rebellion (Mage presence recommended)
Help publish a pinko commie book
Solidarity mission(?)

>SH
Hunting trip!
Isen and Shiroshotu
Reveal personal weaknesses with Bliss(?)
Test mind protection with Bliss(?)

Sound good?

>>26437549
I forgot to mention the kingfisher thing entirely, what a dummy I am. Let me make an altered version.

"Poor bastard. Well crew, we've been invited to two diplomatic talks, one in white tree and one in first wood. White tree one is about freeing the ettins and some kind of paladin solidarity show, and the first wood one is about some kind of kingfisher lead.
Neither of them seem the most time sensitive, you guys have any preferences?"

>>26437352
I think we should go to White Tree. A display of solidarity would hearten the free peoples of the United Free Kingdoms. And yes, bring Mage too. We also might want to let Lea sit this one out if she wants to rest.

>>26437647
If that were the only criteria I'd agree with you, but I think showing solidarity with the other paladins is important too.

>>26437352
Between Mab and HIS, I'd rather see Mab.

>>26437851
I would be extremely hesitant to split the party.

>>26437856
Oops, meant to reply to >>26437741 not >>26437647.

>>26437831
sounds about right, that's all the officially important things.

I also sort of passingly want to check in on adahn and ava, aya, the snake trail members, the glass assassins, tallow, and a bunch of others.

Let's go to first wood, get the ettin and kingfisher info, then use that info in the white tree talks to explain to the paladins how to free the ettins.

Sound good?

>>26438042
Agreed, but I'm afraid that removing the ettin from the fight will also remove the orcs (and them marching back to the north will not be pleasant without our direct observation).

So while it weakens the PE, it weakens us as well. We went through a shit ton of trouble getting the orcs here, so I'd hate to not have them press the advantage while the PE are regrouping.

We might have little choice but to free the Ettins and let the orcs go, but we should still recognize that we could, say, lead a mission that will be the orc's swan song. After all, we haven't destroyed the gun and flyer prototypes.

>>26438151
I dunno, I think the orcs will keep fighting even without the ettin element. It was more of a value added bonus for them.

>>26437352
"Well, we've got two places to be. First wood and white tree, probably more. I'm leaning towards first wood first, because the information they have about ettin slave riots might be helpful for the white tree plan on freeing the ettins."

Do we plan on doing anything with Isen's sister, other than letting Isen deal with her?

>>26438197
So, I'm seeing a lean towards the White Tree talks. Or should I take a vote?

>>26438633
I'd prefer not White Tree, but it should probably get done at some point.

>>26438633
Well, I'm leaning towards the first wood talks now, but the dialogue I posted is in exact opposition to that.

So, you know, standard wishy-washyness.

>>26438711
we should CERTAINLY do both.

>>26438633
Depends. Is Lea well enough to come with us? If not, I say no.

>>26438756
could you restate that in a white tree/ first wood tense, as opposed to a yes/no one.

For the slower members of the crowd like myself.

>>26438756
Lea needs time to re-coperate. She can come, but she's not combat capable.

Also, for clarification, Mab is talking about the human Empire slaves. Not the ettin.

>>26438633
I'd rather not deal with white tree just yet. Her bitchyness hates us last i checked and I'd rather hang around and figure out about that pally buisness

>>26438809
I think that depriving PE of some of its workforce might be worth our attention. Plus, it's less likely to get Lea worked up.

>>26438836
Yeah. We need to know what they meant by "showing solidarity."

>>26438966
I'd like to visit the solidarity show, lord knows we need some good PR.

but I'm still for first wood first, since kingfisher info is time sensitive info.

I already voted, so this is not a vote please do not double count me.

It occurs to me that the guard we bit is probably the only one alive.

Poor traumatized guy.

>>26439024
yes, I am almost certain he's the only one left alive. our teammates aren't as keen on non-lethal as we are in times of war.

Also we fucked up with that wine toss.

>>26438836
White Tree is linked with the pally business. If we don't have time to do both I say do White Tree rather than First Wood since it would involve working with the other paladins and showing solidarity.

Either option gives us information on removing the ettins from PE control, but only one throws in a morale booster for our side as well.

>>26439047
That is sound logic.
I propose this resolution pattern:
If we can do both, first wood then white tree. If we can only do one, then white tree.

>>26439043
The fucking up is a matter of perspective. Not like we knew black didn't play nice with the other poisons.

>>26439105
yeah, I still feel bad about it though. Didn't mean to facilitate a triple assassination and all.

>>26439205
I'm cool with it as it pretty much destroyed a buch of plans

Fuck i had an idea

Can we see if the princess bitch has the same way of contacting the kingfisher as the other spies have?

>>26439082
And if we can't do First Wood, I'd suggest sending a message to let them know that although we'd much prefer to meet with Mab, the war needs us elsewhere. We should also offer some of the recent intel on the PE's soul-altering tricks, as heads-of-state and paladins are likely at the top of the target list.

No reason not to extend common courtesy to one of the leaders we actually kind of like.

>>26439205
We killed PE bigwigs albeit accidentally causing a ton a chaos in their ranks, showed they can't stop the now flying Wagon and caused a high ranking spy to lose her shit and come and get captured by us. I see no cons in this.

>>26439348
Well, now we've got a known spy and murderer to babysit. And you can bet she'll be a pain in our scaly ass.

>>26439371
Maybe we could get the recipe for rice wine from her.

>>26439307
Well, I had planned on just writing him a letter myself. That would work too I suppose.
>>26439272
>>26439348
I'm more sad about the dude killing, that guy in blue was having some nice soup when allasudden he got KOed by snakebite and then poisoned again, while unconscious, to death. What an unlucky guy.

>>26439371
We might be able to use her to chat up kingfisher

File: 1375672252134.png-(114 KB, 874x799, Citadel.png)

114 KB PNG

>>26438809
Where are we on the map, I thought we were futher south and would have to go near/through First Wood to get to White Tree

it occurs to me, if we can free the ettins before the nobles finish there squabbling it could add some fuel to the fire. how long will the summit at white tree take?

>>26439390
Nono, we need to get the recipe for orc mead.

>>26439399
I think a letter are a more polite form of apology. We shouldn't bother him further through communication methods we don't fully understand.

Plus we need to start a correspondence with the guy. The last mission showed that our failure to communicate causes problems for both of us.

File: 1375672321563.png-(333 KB, 1280x720, 1335288294562.png)

333 KB PNG

>>26439441
I think we'd be better off not knowing what's in that stuff.

>>26439471
Hopes and dreams.

Also probably like 99% proof

>>26439471
We're good as long as we don't drink more than 7 bottles

till we get bigger

File: 1375672427547.jpg-(70 KB, 602x418, Charlie-Chaplin-Best-Spee(...).jpg)

70 KB JPG

I am sad I was not in thread when people started worshiping us. We should have used Charlie Chaplin's speech from 'The Great Dictator':

"I'm sorry, I don't want to be...a Deity. I don't want to rule, or conquer, anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible. Man, Minotaur, Harpy, Merfolk."

>>26439434
>Someone uses my map
>OFRABJOUSDAY.jpg

>>26439508
Your map is on the wiki. And, btw, somebody needs to update the character sheet for that.

File: 1375672693486.jpg-(79 KB, 321x428, moonshine_kit.jpg)

79 KB JPG

>>26439471
>>26439495
>>26439506
it's made out of the kind of alcohol that makes you good and blind.
If you don't have poison resistance.
>>26439508
good enough, we told them to cut that shit out. and first wood IS closer.

>>26439508
You made a nice map, what can we say?

>>26439627
Alright, so I'm still seeing dissent and no real decision, so I'm calling for a direct vote.

White Tree Alliance
Mab & Human Slaves
Ettin Freedom
Karen Newgate

Voting opens now.

>>26439907
White Tree Alliance. That could be fun.

>>26439907
Karen

>>26439907
Karen Newgate

>>26439907
mab's closest, I pick that one.

Just watch it be a completely split decision. If it changes anything, I'm just fine with going to white tree too. Karen can wait, she's got a whole war to cool her boots.

>>26439907
Reluctantly, White Tree negotiations and hopefully a paladin publicity stunt.

Although I really must insist we send a return letter to Mab detailing the nature of the PE mind-control threat as well as discussing potential ways to embarrass "Dagda". I'd also like to have Ms. Newgate moved with a blindfold to a secure location.

It feels that we can get the most accomplished by hitting Stone Hall first. Plus we can get Isen's opinion on which would be the bigger factor in the war: human or ettin slaves.

So my vote's for Karen Newgate before heading off for the White Tree Alliance.

>>26439907
Karen or reluctantly White Tree.

i just want to see Isen's face when we bring her in.

>>26439907

Sidequests must be done in order of efficiency. I vote whichever's closest.

>>26439907
>>26439996
Here, changing vote to Mab & Human Slaves


>>26440052
>>26440096

convinced me to switch

>>26440052
Wait, so are we to the West of First Wood?

If so, we could stop by Mab on the way to HIS, then drop off our prisoner at Stone Hall.

Rolled 1

>>26439907
I can't decide between ettin slave rebellion, or human slave rebellion

1. Ettin Slave Rebellion
2. Human slave rebellion

Rolled 3

>>26440144
The dice gods have spoke, I am in favor of the Ettin Slave Rebellion plan.

>>26440129
Ssen wants an Achievement for full completion.

>>26439907
Mab

>>26440129
Actually, could I get a ruling on this, Echo?

Because doing all the things definitely would solve the gridlock.

we should ask mumi if the human slaves, or the ettin slaves leaving would make a bigger impact on the phenixians.

>>26440011
Have we gotten to work on obtaining the Mer mind-protection goo?

>>26440196
Okay, so Karen, then Mab, then White Tree

Karen is locked in a small building that existed here before the Citadel Wasteland occurred. She's bound to the wall by a neck shackle and chain. Her legs are bound in weighted chains and her wrists are in shackles.

The guards let you inside the small cell.

"She hasn't said anything." One of the elven guards says. "We've also got plainclothes scouts surrounding this facility." He whispers to you. "Anyone we don't instantly know, we report and then seize if Propser doesn't give the okay."

He closes the door behind you, leaving you alone with the princess.

She doesn't look at you, and says nothing.

>>26440321
>Have we gotten to work on obtaining the Mer mind-protection goo?
Mari's working on it as we speak.

>>26440338
Good stuff.

Rolled 19

>>26440325
<If you think homosexuality is such an abomination, then why do you work for one?>

>>26440325
>karen was closest
Oh, I guess we've not shipped her off yet. Wonderful.

"So. I heard you like empire food. Got any recommendations? I've heard the rice wine is very good."

Getting her talking about anything is better than silence.

>>26440399
>that comment
>that roll
BOOM, HEADSHOT.

>>26440325

Begin with the good paladin routine.

Ask, with all honesty and kindness we can possibly muster, if she's okay, and if she needs anything.

She WANTS us to be cruel to her, to justify her position. Nothing makes a crim feel like a bastard like treating them nicely.

File: 1375674863429.jpg-(51 KB, 933x569, 1355874480367.jpg)

51 KB JPG

>>26440441
Yeah, get her to talk PE. Throw in a few comments about the Citadel/FK being slightly superior. Forcing her to get defensive will probably get us started.

>>26440325
"Jeez. That can't be comfortable. I can understand the wrist shackles since you're a trained infiltrator, but the neck and feet too?"

"I guess that's why they don't make Paladins like me head of security. Uncle would be much better at it, I have to say."

"Any chance I could speak to Kingfisher? I feel I owe him an apology for the accidental deaths of the Empire nobles. I didn't know that my venom reacts like that with the poison they were using! If it's any consolation, I will forgo the ransom if he wants."

>>26440399
Keep that comment in reserve. That's not an opener, that's a counterattack.

>>26440550
skip that ransom part. We're not giving her back yet, if at all.
She's not even seen Isen yet.

>>26440399
>>26440580
yeah, reserve it. She'll call us a dyke eventually.

>>26440601
>>26440580
>>26440399
Since when did homosexuality enter into this? I remember the Kingfisher has a boytoy, but he also has wife and kids. First of all, that's meta, and second that's probably typical PE culture.

>>26440710
It's basically just going "Your boss is a faggot."

>>26440399
>>26440580
>>26440601
Do we even know in character that Kingfisher is gay?

>>26440710
oh, she used it as an insult last time we met. I figure she probably will again.

Though I can't recall if we learned in character or through a MEANWHILE: whether or not the kingfisher is gay, so nevermind if we didn't.

>>26440761
Yeah. We've heard rumors in-character.

>>26440710
She called us a dyke when we siced the orcs on her

>>26440837

If she's a homophobe the best thing we could do to unnerve her would be to act very nice and forward. She'll be flat-fucking TERRIFIED if she thinks we fancy her.

Rolled 7

>>26440761
We heard rumors that Kingfisher likes men, and she called us a dyke as an insult. So since Citadel culture doesn't think of homosexuality as an intrinsically bad thing, based on how the religious zealot Lea was a romance option, we can ask that question without any insult to kingfisher.

>>26440790
Fair enough, but I'm still not exactly sold on using the insult. She did call us a dyke, but I'd imagine with the same breath she'd go on about how the PE's far superior culture allows for that kind of relationship between nobles and their servants. It might just be a men only thing.

They could be like the Greeks.

>>26440837
Actually, it was Tricia she called a dyke abomination, but she probably doesn't have anything nice to say about us. (Looked it up just now to be sure.)

after we get her talking, do we have anything we want to ask her specifically?

We could ask her why she thinks we're such a demon. See if the phoenix reason is any different than the citadel reasons.

>>26440950
I misinterpreted it then.

Still

>>26440906
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_China

Or maybe just like the Chinese themselves.

>>26440973
We're a snake and they seem themselves as birds.

Nothin to ask her about, Mumei can do better there.

>>26440325
"Nothing? I'd have thought you'd want to yell at me or something."

>>26440973
We know why she thinks we're a demon. She's Citadel raised and a PE aficionado. It's probably a mix of the two.

What we could learn are things like what exactly the Kingfisher has planned after he has his city. I think she'd be happy to describe her master's grand vision.

>>26440761
Jesse-May has intel saying that Kingfisher is gay. He has a wife and kids, but that's more of a political thing. He cares for them, but he doesn't love them.

>>26440550
"Jeez. That can't be comfortable. I can understand the wrist shackles since you're a trained infiltrator, but the neck and feet too?" You say. "I guess that's why they don't make Paladins like me head of security. Uncle would be much better at it, I have to say." You pause. "Any chance I could speak to Kingfisher? I feel I owe him an apology for the accidental deaths of the Empire nobles. I didn't know that my venom reacts like that with the poison they were using!"

She rolls her eyes and looks away.

"So. I heard you like empire food. Got any recommendations? I've heard the rice wine is very good." You say.

"It's beter than good. They also have lots of lovely things that you and all you other monsters can't eat." She says. "It's one of the few things that I can take comfort from. You'll never get enjoyment from a sugar iced rice-flower cake with fig glaze. There's no justice in this world, but I can take comfort from that at least."

>>26441210
"I think my snuggle-bug [or whatever pet name for Tricia we feel comfortable using around Karen] would enjoy a cake like that very much. I don't see why I wouldn't be able to have one, either."

>>26441210
The next time we raid a PE camp, we're going to grab anything that looks remotely sweet. We're going to take that sweet thing and sit in front of her, silently eating it as she fumes.

>>26441210
>"It's beter than good. They also have lots of lovely things that you and all you other monsters can't eat." She says. "It's one of the few things that I can take comfort from. You'll never get enjoyment from a sugar iced rice-flower cake with fig glaze. There's no justice in this world, but I can take comfort from that at least."

That sounds almost as good as ice cream with honey.

Rolled 17

>>26441210
I'm sure tricia would love that. I'll have to get her some.

>>26441210
"I may now have a ransom idea, thank you."

>>26441210

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that Mumei would know how to cook that, if I asked. Does hating me really give you that much satisfaction?"

>>26441210
>sugar iced rice flower cake with fig glaze

"Sounds too sweet for me. I've never really been a desert person. Could we start with breakfast? I bet the Empire's cooks know a mean scrambled egg recipe."

File: 1375676881365.jpg-(16 KB, 300x225, delicious_victory.jpg)

16 KB JPG

>>26441210
"Ah, what a shame. How about entrees? I've never had much in the way of dessert anyway. Well, unless it's got honey, or cream. Or honey and cream, I tell ya, freeze those together and it's like magic."
>>26441289
Remember when we tried to eat some candy to show adahn how good it was?
We are going to have a SERIOUS hard time making it look like we are enjoying that sweet.

>>26441210
Ehh, I'm not a fruits and veggies kinda girl. Tricia would probably LOVE that though. She has a bit of a sweet tooth.

About justice, you're half right. Justice isn't something that just HAPPENS. We have to make it for ourselves. It exists, and you can find it, but it doesn't grow on trees. It's kinda like roads. Or clothes. Speaking of which, I do really like Empire fashions! The robes are just about perfect for someone like me. Hopefully when this is all over I can buy some.

>>26441359
It might have just been the shitty candy. I can't remember the description Echo gave us

>>26441210
"You and I have much different definitions of 'justice': yours is simply whatever is best for you and people like you. Mine is about equality among the races and freedom from slavery and oppression."

"And when my brand of justice spreads to the Empire, I think I'll try one of those cakes."

>>26441395
it was a grain based chew candy. Low quality, yes, but similar in rough composition.

>>26441445
>lecturing her
We want to keep her talking.

>>26441445
lets not do this

If all we get out of this conversation is a list of things to try once we make peace with the PE, I'll be happy.

>>26441210
"You wouldn't think it, but I really don't have that much of a sweet tooth, actually.

The better half is pulling double duty in that regard."

>>26441527
Yeah. This conversation is about how genuine a weeaboo Karen is and perhaps why. We might pick up tidbits of Kingfisher and his plans if she gets on a roll.

>>26441210
Oh wow, she really has gone full phoenixaboo

>>26441570
we've got Tricia to eat all the awful sweets and Mage to eat all the nasty vegetables, saving the meat for us.

Peri/meri and lea don't really factor into the equation.

>>26441359
The exact phrase was:
>You pop one of the barley sticks in your mouth and you try not to wince. Ugh...maybe Tricia, and other humans, thinks these things are okay, but you are NOT a fan. You'll stick with honeycomb when you want sweets.

If we like honey, then we'll probably like fig glaze and icing just fine.

Or just let Tricia have it.

For extra rubbing-our-abominable-lifestyle-in-haters'-faces points, Tricia could take a bite, disassemble her arm, and share the rest with her swarm.

>>26441675
I'm more worried about the rice-base than the fig glaze or icing.
But enough carnivorous concerns, we'll just let tricia have it once we get some. Maybe try a slice(?) ourselves for curiosity's sake before spitting it out.

>>26441616
General Tsao's
Beef short ribs
Shrimp foo yung

Man we are gonna love the UFK bastardized version of Phoenixian food. All sorts of greasy meats and spicy sauces.

>>26441722
Echo stated we can live off of non-meats but it doesn't make us happy.

>>26441751
the terms were closer to it would make us sick, but whatever, not a big issue. Regardless of how fascinated I am with fantastical biology.
>>26441724
I think I might go make some bacon and eggs soon, you guys are making me hungry

>>26441724
Also when we find out that they have a soup whose chief ingredient is a runny bird's egg poached in broth, we are gonna plotz.

>>26441210
"Well, I'll probably try one at any rate. You're probably right that I won't enjoy it, but curiosity overflows and all that. Though, don't think that I'm completely bereft of sweets- I know this lady who makes these mean bone marrow sweetbuns, she refuses to share the recipe, but I could eat a million of 'em."

"Sounds too sweet for me. I've never really been a desert person...or a fruits and veggies person. I'm sure my dear one, Tricia, would certainly like that. I'll have to ask Mumei to make it, if she can." You say.

She sneers at you and shakes her head.

">>26441378
>About justice, you're half right. Justice isn't something that just HAPPENS. We have to make it for ourselves. It exists, and you can find it, but it doesn't grow on trees. Also, you and I have much different definitions of 'justice': yours is simply whatever is best for you and people like you. Mine is about equality among the races and freedom from slavery and oppression.

"And when my brand of justice spreads to the Empire, I think I'll celebrate with a dessert and a new dress. I do really like Empire fashions! The robes are just about perfect for someone like me."

"Don't you dare!" She snarls. "Those are designed to be worn by those who..." She shakes her head. "Ugh, I don't know why I'm bothering. Whatever my brother Trevor has told you, in between him fucking you, or a mer, or whatever kind of deviance he's sticking his dick into this week..." She takes a deep breath. "Whatever he's said, it means nothing. He doesn't care about your new kingdom. He's just like the rest of my pathetic family. He's just taking what he can, and he's going to be nowhere to be found when your kingdom burns." She nods. "And it will burn. THere's going to be a fight, or some irreconcilable difference, and it'll all come crashing down. If not this generation then the next. Only through perfect order and control can ANYTHING last...and the Empire is the only place that has it. Also, the Empire has better food."

She takes a deep breath. "There. I've said my piece. You can leave."

>>26441722
Maybe we could lick the icing off of a piece with our >lamia_tongue.png.

Or off of Tricia...

>>26441210
"There's all sorts of ways you can enjoy something. I myself might hate sweets, but if I can share a good recipe for them that people adore, I'd enjoy it quite a lot."

Rolled 15

>>26441944
"Trevor? Itzak is the one in charge of the UFK."

Or my comment above.

>>26441944
>Trevor

I feel like telling her Isen is the one in charge now. More for the chock value than the intel.

"what exactly is your definition of monster by the way? I don't think any of my actions have been particularly monstrous."

>>26441944
Trevor? You mean Itzak? Well, he's certainly tried but he's actually got a steady thing going with a nice Minotaur girl. We had to about nail the damned crown to his head and his ass to the throne.

Or, we tell her none of this an wait until Isen meets her to see her reaction.

>>26441944
"I'm afraid I've not met Trevor, but Itzak sits on the throne now, and he will not abandon us for he has as much loyalty to the people as he has affections for other women. Did the Kingfisher not tell you that?"

>>26441944
"Enlighten me, if you would, please. Why ought anything last forever? What's so bad about a change in the structure of a Nation? I honestly don't get what you mean."

>>26442102
Guys, we can make her see the hole in her brainwashing if we introduce her to doubt about her preconceptions of change as irrevocably evil.

>>26441944
"when you say ultimate order, do you mean like the plan to reshape the souls of everyone in the world into perfectly obedient slaves?"

File: 1375678845878.gif-(2.78 MB, 302x200, 1372950384527.gif)

2.78 MB GIF

>>26441944
>Trevor
?
"I know King Itzak Solomon Elegante Newgate the Audacious is a really hard thing to remember, but nothing in that spiel begins with a T.

Why did you think 'Trevor,' who I have not heard of and I hope you'll be my pardon for that, was on the throne of the Free Kingdom?"

>>26441944
"of course Isen'll be gone in a generation, old age is a bitch. If times change, then we'll just have to change with the times and keep living, regardless of government. Part of that, I think, will include getting some good cookbooks from the empire. Your confidence in their food makes me hungry. I'll leave you to do your thing. If you wanted, to help with that cookbook thing, I could have a guard take down some recipes for you, but you probably don't want to help and instead want to trick us into eating ground glass pies. See you later, light willing.

Oh, and Isen's with a half minotaur now. He has been for a while, they're pretty serious. She's a wonderful gal."

>>26442146
>[...the Audacious]
>-The- Audacious
>The
>nothing in that spiel begins with a T.

Would not put it past Isen

>>26442183
Yeah, I forgot the "the."
But the point still stands. There's no way you can confuse Itzak for Trevor.

>>26442059
>>26442045
>>26442084

nononono

We gotta keep it until she sees it

I wanna know why she thinks its trev in charge in any case...

It'd be hilarious if the PE doesn't even know whose in charge

>>26442209
I want to try to turn her against the kingfisher

>>26442201
Lose the 'the Audacious' then. He's not audacious when he's being the king anyways.

File: 1375679128126.jpg-(66 KB, 250x233, 1375549664068.jpg)

66 KB JPG

>>26442209
Wait, everybody.

There is a thought. If we don't tell her... no, if we actually played along with it...

We need to say something along the lines of:

"That's too bad, I'm sure King Trevor loved you very much. I've traveled with Itzak too. And had a chance to talk to your father. All spoke of the good work you were doing in the PE. What a shame it will be for them to learn you're a traitor."

We're not in stonehall right?

so outside of Deus Ex Laughimous theres no way to do anything like:"Does this look like Trevor to you?" and then Isen comes bursting in with his theme song playing like a an Adam Sandler flick

>>26442245
no, but we could have lea play Isen's theme song.

Or heck, get a BIRD to play Isen's theme song. If granny came through on her deal.

>>26442245
No, we're near the front lines, but I don't know where on the map we are exactly.

we don't tell her anything about who's in charge. for all we know the king fisher is listening in on this.

Rolled 19

Oh better idea:

"Trevor?" Break down laughing.

>>26442245
Fuck. Now I can't unsee dumpy middle-aged Adam Sandler as Isen. Fucking crown, mantle, scepter and mighty ducks jersey.

>>26442288
The kingfisher already knows. He bloody went to stonehall when he was pretending to be a criminal.

File: 1375679312006.gif-(560 KB, 400x328, 1363424802637.gif)

560 KB GIF

>>26442288
So what if he is?

>>26441944
"...Who the hell is Trevor?"

>>26441944
"Really, it's a nice theory, on paper. Perfect order - Everything happens how and when you want it to happen. Unfortunately, there's this little thing called free will, and that tends to get in the way of things. Or, at least, Citadel thought so. And the Cold Dark Man thought so. Some people within your precious Phoenix empire seem to think so as well. They want to create a world of absolute order, one that will last forever, and to accomplish this, they would destroy free will.

But... Nothing lasts forever, Shiroshotu. It's because things are so fragile that they have meaning. A world without chaos is a world that doesn't change, a world of stagnation. I would barely call it life.

And so, I guess I am an agent of chaos. A champion of freedom, a paragon of choice. That you are able to make the choice to hate me just proves my point."

"Enlighten me, if you would, please. Why ought anything last forever? What's so bad about a change in the structure of a Nation? I honestly don't get what you mean." You ask. "Also, when you say ultimate order, do you mean like the plan to reshape the souls of everyone in the world into perfectly obedient slaves?"

"We're trying to stop that." She says. "No thanks to you. Also, I don't expect you to understand, but...you cannot understand what it is to see something you create, something you love, wither and die." She sighs. "People die, but all we can do is try and get SOMETHING that last, SOMETHING that's worthwhile...but...ugh, forget it."

"Alright. But, umm...I'm afraid I've not met Trevor. I mean, Itzak's certainly tried, but he's actually got a steady thing going with a nice Minotaur girl."

She pauses. "Wait...it's NOT Trevor? Itzak...Itzak...wait...Itsy-Bitsy is the ruler of the UFK?!" Her eyes go wide. She chokes back a laugh, and then fails. She bursts into peals of laugher.

"Oh...oh that's too rich. Little snotty nosed Itsy-Bitsy, running around the castle with that toy sword of his...his tantrum about how nanny would tell stories 'wrong,' and his endless ENDLESS tantrums about how the Itzak name was just 'two pages.' HE'S the one you've put your faith in?"

"You didn't know?"

"I was told that one of my brothers was ruling. Trevor was the only one who fit the bill...oh...oh please tell me that he's not still calling himself Isen The Invincible Hero That's Better Than Any Other Hero That's Ever Been!" She laughs again. "Itsy-Bitsy grew up and got his own kingdom...did he write a new anthem that has you cheering his name? How big is his statue?" She laughs again. "Oh, and here I was WORRIED!"

>>26442373
"It's not that funny! Oh, who am I kidding, it totally is."

Then crack up.

>>26442373
Learning that his nickname was "Itsy-Bitsy" is well worth revealing that bit of info.

Rolled 9

>>26442373
"I think the girl you stabbed made the anthem actually." Tell her how big the statue is.

>>26442373
"Actually, he calls himself Isen the Audacious, has an entire harem of hulking gladiator women, and you kidnapped his wife."

Rolled 2

>>26442353

No, the real problem with "perfect order" is the question of who gets to decide what that means.

Also, change is inevitable, I bet if we stuck around the Pheonix Empire for a good 300 years we'd see a shitton of change that Karen doesn't want to admit to.

>>26442373
laugh wither her
"And did you know we practically had to tie him down to do the job? It was great, you should have seen the look on his face when we told him he was the only one who could be king with all the newgates missing."

Wipe a tear from your eye
"He makes a wonderful king. And his statue is actually smaller than my lighthouse."

>>26442373
(You had too much fun writing this)
"If you are now so free of worry, let me tell you this. He is competent and loyal to the UFK and I will see you brought before him personally if need be. Your ransom will be even less than the arrogant agent who broke into the prison of Stone Hall"

>>26442373
"He goes by Isen the Audacious now, and we had to stop him from naming the country Isenopolis."

>>26442373
"Yeah, his statue's pretty fair-sized. But he's grown into the role. Sort of. Well, at least the kingdom hasn't caught fire yet."

"And I'll have you know that I probably saw more death and loss by the time I was four than you have, and by the time I'm in my mid-thousands I'll have watched everyone I ever knew and loved die. But I'm okay with that. Because I'd rather see them live to their fullest potential for a century or so than to live forever as a slave. Because what you propose for us all isn't truly living."

>>26442373
"It's exactly that flamboyance and gigantic ego that made him immune to Citadel's mindcontrol, ironically enough. He was one of the few sparks of freedom in that twisted kingdom.

I wouldn't be so quick to mock him. As eccentric as Isen, Itzak, whatever, is, he's a good guy at heart. Wouldn't have thought it when I first met him. Actually, I almost slapped him. But, time and time again, he's proven that when push comes to shove, he can be trusted to do the right thing."

>>26442373
No, when I first met him he was calling himself Isen the Audacious, I didn't find out about his being a Newgate until we traveled to Citadel for my Paladin ceremony.

>>26442373
Itsy-Bitsy? I am SO using that the next time I see him. Yes there is a statue, and yes he has a theme song. In fact Lea, the woman you stabbed, was the one who composed it!

I remember the first time I met him. I almost belted him one. Makes for a pretty good king though. Most of your family was Citadel thought-slaves, except him. His ego was just too big. In fact, it's because he didn't want the job that he's so good at it. He doesn't care about playing favorites or getting favors, just getting court over a quickly and efficiently as he can so he can take the damned crown off! You should have seen the look on his face when we told him he was in charge.

You simply HAVE to tell me what he was like as a child!

>>26442373
"As dubious as his persona is, he's certainly grown into his own. I've seen him stand against a swarm of thralls at Purple Sands, clash swords with ghouls in the undercity of Stone Hall, forge an alliance with the tempest tossed harpy race, raise a city out of the ashes to become a capital of a fragmented kingdom, and now he leads his city against an invasion from the south.

Did you know I nearly gave my life for your brother? And it was a painful and dangerous act of duty, too. I nearly lost my friends to obsession and madness and myself to poison and fever.

But your brother was worth it. And I shall defend him, as my friend and my king."

>>26442373
Yes, it's not too bad on the ears, and large enough to be an eyesore. But back to my earlier point, do you really think that when someone dies, they are gone? My father is dead, but all the years of his life he spent raising me have had their effects perpetuated throughout the world even after his death. Every life, large and small, leaves an indelible mark on history with its every breath. Whether recorded in the annals of man or not, the ways we live our lives have consequences which branch out eternally and only grow in magnitude as the years pass. Armies, cities, empires, religions all may rise and fall, but information never dies. Instead of seeking to perpetuate a single state of one empire, instead of attempting to make sure that no change comes to a single brick of its walls, you ought to do all you can to direct the inevitable, rising waters of change, that they might irrigate the crops of our childrens' children, not drown them in their cribs.

>>26442573
Oh shit this is good.

Hopin Echo is waiting for the speeches to come through

>>26442573
A few corrections:
>now he leads his city
now he leads his country

>I nearly lost my friends
I almost lost my companions.

A few repeated words in the second part had me annoyed.

File: 1375680368182.gif-(937 KB, 500x283, 1371699536899.gif)

937 KB GIF

>>26442512
Just a formality, but I have to exclaim this after someone mentions the fact of our longevity.

>>26442629
>>26442606
Me too. I don't wanna find out I wrote too much and posted too late for it to be considered. :/
Oh god I'm so wordy.

Rolled 4

>>26442606
I like this.


>>26442573
This is also good.

>>26442655
Headmistress Ssen and her bees.

>>26442684
Exactly.

WE HAVE TO COMMIT THIS TO MEMORY.

Isen's TRUE BABY NAME is Itsy Bitsy. We can use this horrible secret to make isen experience unlimited humiliation.

>>26442684
oh god why did you mention the bees

"It's not that funny! Oh, who am I kidding, it totally is." You laugh. "Actually, he calls himself Isen the Audacious, has an entire harem of hulking gladiator women, and you kidnapped his wife."

"Oh...oh that's RIGHT!" She laughs again. "That Princess WAS set to marry one of them."

"And did you know we practically had to tie him down to do the job? It was great, you should have seen the look on his face when we told him he was the only one who could be king with all the Newgates missing." You say. "And his statue's pretty fair-sized."

"Oh, man...and here we came up with all these plans. Nights and nights up packing up and down the boat. Worrying about how Trevor or Julius would react...and it's Itsy-Bitsy." She laughs. "I could have just walked up to him and said I was taking over and he better give it to me or I'll put him in a headlock!" She laughs. "We had a more difficult time with the ettin and those pheromone drugs." She laughs. "Itsy-Bitsy has a kingdom, a queen, and a war. Oh, thank you monster. I needed that."

>>26442697
And once a year, on the same day each year, at dawn she actually gathers honey from those bees she so dotes on. Just a tiny bit, and she locks herself in her chambers for the rest of the day and evening, having a cup of tea and a long, tired sob.

>>26442726
follow up with
>>26442573


Please

(more coming)

>>26442755
add
"Oh, and thank you for telling me about Itsy-Bitsy. I'll see to it he never lives it down."

>>26442726

"Oh I would be celebrating just yet. Strange as it is he is becoming a better king than I had even hoped for. Also I wouldn't try that headlock thing....His girlfriend almost broke me in half, and she LIKES me. "

>>26442743
we should harvest the honey midday. We have to pour out a bottle of good alcohol in the morning, preferably into the ocean or off a cliff.

Unless you want to seperate your remembrance days out throughout the year. I find it's easier to get them all over with simultaneously.

>>26442712
As tempting as it is, I wouldn't give Karen the satisfaction.

>>26442726
It seems she's nostalgic of her brother a bit.

I guess get serious with >>26442573 (my post), but she might get defensive as a result. Or somber.

>>26442824
Who cares about Karen's satisfaction? We now have something to tease Isen about for the rest of his life!

>>26442824
>>26442845
yes, this will never die. We will outlive you Isen. We could theoretically tell everyone in the future your baby name.

>>26442818
We'd see the last days of so many people we love that we'd only have one sin we can never feel at ease with in our hearts: losing count.

We'd never get out of bed if we spread it out throughout the year.

>>26442726
"pheromones! oh good now we know how you're controlling them ill just get my people on that. because you know i have people who do pheromones, like my favorite bug girl"

>>26442861
So this is why our race is called monsters...

>>26442726
Thank you for the pheromone - Ettin information.

>>26442882
>>26442902
Don't tell her that! She might stop talking.

Or Kingfisher might find out. I do care about the whole "he knows that we know that he knows that we don't know that he doesn't know that we know" game.

>>26442882
>pheromones
Oh shit, I didn't notice that. You're a goddamn detective.
>>26442887
Yes. We can tell you all the humiliating secrets of your super badass ancestors.

>>26442917
We might end up going insane though...

Shit I had a bad thought about some distant ancestor of one of our friends deciding we needed to be put down but being unsure due to the fact we never let go of beacon and everyone is a bit afraid of it due to the whole smiting thing it gots going on.

>>26442917
Your great great grandfather? Lord General Hightower? Repeller of the Blight? Savior of the Realm? Uniter of Kingdoms?

He pissed in the shower regularly and was terrified of spiders. He also wore a toupeé, couldn't hold his liquor and his middle name was Marian.

"As dubious as his persona is, he's certainly grown into his own. I've seen him stand against a swarm of thralls at Purple Sands, clash swords with ghouls in the undercity of Stone Hall, forge an alliance with the tempest tossed harpy race, raise a city out of the ashes to become a capital of a fragmented kingdom, and now he leads his country against an invasion from the south. Successfully."

She rolls her eyes. "Alright, fine. I admit the last time I saw little Itsy-Bitsy he was bragging about how he had conquered the toilet."

"Did you know I nearly gave my life for your brother? And it was a painful and dangerous act of duty, too. I nearly lost my friends to obsession and madness and myself to poison and fever.

But your brother was worth it. And I shall defend him, as my friend and my king."

She nods. "Fine, fine. So he's not as worthless as the rest of my family. That's like saying a pile of horse dung is better than a pile of hippo dung, either way they're both heaps of shit."

"But back to my earlier point, do you really think that when someone dies, they are gone? My father is dead, but all the years of his life he spent raising me have had their effects perpetuated throughout the world even after his death. Every life, large and small, leaves an indelible mark on history with its every breath. Whether recorded in the annals of man or not, the ways we live our lives have consequences which branch out eternally and only grow in magnitude as the years pass. Armies, cities, empires, religions all may rise and fall, but information never dies. Instead of seeking to perpetuate a single state of one empire, instead of attempting to make sure that no change comes to a single brick of its walls, you ought to do all you can to direct the inevitable, rising waters of change, that they might irrigate the crops of our childrens' children, not drown them in their cribs.

(cont)

>>26442999
"And I'll have you know that I probably saw more death and loss by the time I was four than you have, and by the time I'm in my mid-thousands I'll have watched everyone I ever knew and loved die. But I'm okay with that. Because I'd rather see them live to their fullest potential for a century or so than to live forever as a slave. Because what you propose for us all isn't truly living." You say.

"Living is a curse." She snarls. "It's what you do when you're waiting to die. Even monsters that live like you will die. Everything dies, and everything you create dies, or it gets twisted. Change is probably the most vile seditious thing in the world? It's the same thing as entropy. How you can even be calm in the face of death...it's disgusting. Revolting. You preach death, you celebrate death, and once it happens, what do you have to show for it? Nothing. It all gets swept away." She shakes her head. "Even your fucking stupid Light is all about embracing the 'Last Sunset.' You look FORWARD to the end of everything? You even had the gall to steal from the Empire with your 'Next Dawn.'

"They have the right idea. The Timeless Time. When all of our souls are purified through the flames of the Phoenix, and we will live in a world where there is no death, no decay, and what we do MATTERS." She rolls her eyes again. "I'm simplifying it, my master tells it better. But I will work for a world where I can create, where I can live, and where I don't need to constantly worry that a wagon might swing around a corner from a broken wheel and kill Callie and Harry again!" She sniffs. "Fuck you, monster. We're done. Thanks for the laugh about Itsy-Bitsy. You can go now, go choke on whatever bloody slop you eat."

>>26442961
>need to be put down
Honestly, all they have to do is get a petition of a bunch of citizens telling us to retire nicely.
We've been wanting to retire for like, three centuries now. We'd take it.

>>26443013
>callie and harry
Should we ask her about them, or Isen? I'm not sure if he'd know or not.

I want to talk to her, shift gears a bit

>>26443013
"...Tell me about Callie and Harry."

>>26443013
>Callie and Harry

Oooooooh, so she's just being a whiny bitch because she's incapable of coping with loss like any sane and rational human being has to do every day of her life.

>>26443055
>>26443013
*coil up in front of her*
"I think I will stay a little longer."
then
>>26443069

>>26443076
Yes, because all humans cope perfectly with strife in all its forms, except for a few who are to be derided for their failings. Lrn2paladin, man. Show some compassion. The world breaks all people; afterward, some are strong in the broken places. It's not a sin to be weak in the broken places, you know.

>>26443013
We should break this off for now.

"Well, I'm glad to hear your side of things. I think you misunderstand me though, Change is how I fight Entropy. A thanig can be unchanging, but decay, rust, time takes its toll. By Change, it can be reborn again and again. And yes, death is sad, but without it there is no need for birth either. Perhaps I'll ask Kingfisher about it the next time I talk to him. And you have my sincere sympathies. I know you won't value it much, but it's real."

"Heh, Itsy-Bitsy..."

Rolled 5

>>26443076
Or she suffered the trauma of loss in a rigidly authoritarian place like the Pheonix Empire, and embraced that because it gave her enough comfort to pick up the pieces.

>>26443126
Yes, because someone who has a loving family, hundreds of utterly loyal, caring servants, and who lived in a literal paradise for the majority of her life is SOOOOOO at a disadvantage to Lea, who lost everything over and over again and continues to shrug off the worst life has to offer.

>>26443153
>A thing can be unchanging

derp

>>26442882
No need to rub it in her face. We got the info, and she's being reasonable.

Interrogation is much easier if the person you are trying to extract information from thinks you are their friend, or at least begrudging company.

>>26442882
I'd rather take the emotional approach right now.

Paladin stuff and all that.

>>26443069
We've got time, so let's not push it. I think we've made progress, and pushing her to talk when she's not ready to could undo it.

>>26443013
"Ah, sorry for treading on sore nerves. Thank you for the itsy bitsy thing, Isen is going to hate it. And I was thinking of having chicken or maybe steak for dinner, slop's generally not a favorite."

sorry for the delayed response, I was making eggs.

>>26443165
Karen was born pampered, never learned to appreciate it, never gained perspective, and so she broke readily when the real world hit her. It doesn't make what she does right, it doesn't make it better or worse, it just makes her Karen. There but for fortune may go any one of us. Lea got dumped unceremoniously into a festering asshole of a life and had nothing but a big old shit sandwich to eat for every day of her life. She was bent slowly from day one and it's the only reason she didn't break. She bears those scars clearly though, on her body and her mind.

>>26443165
and that's why lea's a bright shining beacon of light.

Some people aren't, and may need help to get there.

File: 1375682500311.jpg-(156 KB, 652x573, 1334722308257.jpg)

156 KB JPG

>>26443013
More speeches because what the hell.
"That's funny, because not even the PE is resistant to change. I'm not one to rely on hearsay and the matter certainly requires further investigation, but up north they tell of a different PE. Not a race of humans who sing like birds, but rather a resplendent race. A girl up north told me she remembers what they used to look like. Regal and resplendent in their feathers. Their civilization no doubt mirrored their appearance.

And yet, not a single trace of the Birdfolk, the true Phoenix Empire, remains. Time has warped them, perhaps made them less than what they once were.

But that's just what some racist three eyed medical student thought. What does she know?
Still, if it is true... your empire is little more than the bloated corpse of a dead race, diluted to oblivion, teeming with maggots who think their ascent to be like a phoenix's rising from a nest of death and filth.

Goodbye, Karen. I'm sure we can get you dual citizenship."

Rolled 19

>>26443334
NOPE. To bitter and cruel.

>>26443013
"Without sadness, there is no happiness. Without death, there is no life. Without darkness, there is no light.

I'm sorry that you have suffered such tragedy that you have stopped looking forward to the future, but the wheels of change will continue to turn regardless, and trying to stop them is pointless. Bad things happen. Good things happen. It's the things we carry with us that give our lives meaning, and choosing to carry only the bad things will poison the soul."

>>26443334
>>26443367
we're collecting FAR too many ancient secrets.

We're not even trying to keep secrets but we have them and we're not telling people fast enough for them to stop being secrets.

Soon we're going to be having to send heroes on quests for macguffins simply because we're the only one who remembers where they are, and that's a job we want to ditch on some mook.

Two things I've noticed from this: Ettin are controlled by Pheromones and that Kingfisher may be working with the Fifth now.

Anyone else spot anything?

Rolled 14

>>26443397
Where was the Kingfisher working with the fifth?

>>26443013
"Life is only what you make of it, Miss Newgate. Perhaps some time you should meet the woman you nearly murdered today. I feel like you could learn alot from her."

"Anyway, I have duties to attend to."

>ettins are controlled by pherimones
>tricia "does" pherimones
>lamia Identify friend and foe by pherimones
>tricia does pherimones
>suddenly goes from lifelong enemy to love interest as soon as we get on the road and away from "old smells"

Guys I just had a kind of sinister realization of a course of events that could have happened

>>26443367
Fair enough. Maybe we should save it for a dyed in the wool speciesist nobleman.

We should make it an objective to find a racist asshole (preferably one worse than the Kingfisher), shove evidence of the Birdfolk in his face, and utterly destroy every single belief he ever had about non-humans.

Maybe Karen isn't the one to do it with, but it needs to be done at some point. The PE needs to have its nose rubbed in how hypocritical it is.

>>26443458
There is a door you don't let your paranoia open. Ever. You just found it. Your answer lies on the other side and, whether you're right or wrong, you'll find nothing but suffering simply for asking the question. Don't go there.

>>26443458
You're over-thinking things a bit, friend.

>>26443458
Ah, but is it all the same kind of pheromones. I mean, even humans have pheromones. All they are is a chemical smell that is interpreted as meaningful to another member of the species. Anything with a sense of smell uses them to some degree.

>>26443458
She learned pheromone stuff later. Unless...

She was already subconsciously hot for us and when we started spending time together...

>>26443013
"hey i met the gate keeper of death once, nice god actually the rest are dicks, but him he actually trying to make those dicks work, and he told me that souls usually head to the light whether it be my light or your flames, they both lead to the same light source."

>>26443577
"Oh yeah, I see gods when I sleep. Never talked to the Great Phoenix, but he's rather... portly. And of course they're all rude."

>>26443577
So, I'm seing a sway between further interrogation and just packing up and leaving.

Would I be right in that the 'thank you, goodbye' crowd are the dominant ones?

>>26443577
>>26443663
Ssen: Impart the secret knowledge that you are absolutely mad to the prisoner.

>>26443683
I think we need to invoke democracy again

>>26443683
I'm of the opinion that we've broken through once today, she needs some time to re-coalesce before we come back and bother her for more recipes.
We got her talking, which was really our only goal here. We can talk to her more later.

>>26443683
I'd lend my vote to one last parting shot to the effect of "bite my scaly lamia ass", personally.

>>26443683
Yes, but add in the fact that we would like to talk about Callie and Harry sometime though.

>>26443727
Impossible, there are no illogical snakebutts here.
Much to Isen's disappointment.

>>26443683
I'd like one more question.

"If I wanted to contact Kingfisher in secret, how would I go about it?"
We really need to start up a correspondence with him, even if it's just to avoid another ten car pile up.

>>26443683
I do still want to talk about her dead friends

>>26443683
that's fine, tired i will catch up tomorrow, but i agree with >>26443727 do something similar to this


>>26443691
we're not mad were special, maybe even the closest thing to a prophet because we can hear gods

>>26443683
i say >>26443069
ask her gently tho

>>26443742
Don't make us discuss the cloaca again.

>>26443577
>>26443663
Elaborating on this.

"Want to know a secret? Something about the leviathan part of my brain makes it really easy for spirits to talk to me. I've had all sorts in there - Citadel, The Fifth, The Cold Dark Man. Oh, the Pheonix was there once, but I didn't get the chance to talk to him.

And they're *all* dicks. Except one. Maybe he's the Light, maybe not, he doesn't actually know himself - But I'll tell you what he told me, something that I haven't even said to my friends yet: Everyone goes to the same place when they die, phoenix empire, UFK, crafter, orc, ettin, lamia, they all go to the same place.

You can either take comfort in that, or assume I'm entirely crazy. It's your call."

File: 1375684012599.jpg-(15 KB, 300x200, eventhorizon.jpg)

15 KB JPG

>>26443577
>>26443791
Do it. Do it, do it, do it. Tell her the truth just for the reaction. We need to get this stuff off our chest anyway and if Kingfisher is listening then all the better.

>>26443814
Seconding this for the glorious motherfuckering

>>26443791
Voting for this.
I HOPE Kingfisher's listening.
This is one secret I WANT to leak.

>>26443883
>>26443850
>>26443814
>>26443791
I have no problem with telling them about this, but I remind you guys it MIGHT not be true. I mean, new guy could be dicking with us. It's happened before.

>>26443899
It's still gonna be funny

>>26443791
Be a bit more descriptive. "I've had all sorts in there: the Citadel with its roaring visage of glass and concrete, the Fifth in his changing (or unchanging, I forget) porcalin mask, the Cold Dark Man who surrounded himself with devilish choirs of icy flesh and the laughter of identical children, and the Phoenix, if that's his name, fat and pampered by its many dutiful servants. And one other, a mystery, even to himself."

>>26443899
The bit about them being dicks is 100% verifiable fact, and they're probably not doing their jobs properly either.

>>26443899
I'm really hoping that this new guy isn't screwing with us though.

Honestly, the last thing we need is to be provoked onto a godslaying rampage by YET ANOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE GOD TRYING TO WORK US INTO HIS MILLENIA SPANNING PLANS.

>>26444006
Does it matter if he is or isn't? What use is an immortal god-buttdevastator who runs out of dickish gods?

>>26444022
hogging holy artifacts and covering warm rocks?

>>26444022
Warm rock cooling device.

>>26444042
"High Paladin Ssen, please give back some of the artifacts."
"NEVER."
"But you're just sleeping on the pil-"
"MINE."

>>26444042
... that sounds nice.

>>26444059
Maybe just ONE artifact?

>>26444006
I'd count on him screwing us, but he seems to be like the Fifth - honest to a fault. We knew what we were getting with the Fifth, we told him we didn't like his proposal, he lied and said he was cool with that, and then threw a tantrum when we Hendersoned a lucky arrow shot that, to be honest, nobody really expected to have the impact it did.

My worry isn't about the new guy's agenda (which he has, there's no point denying it), but rather what exactly he is. I honestly think we created a new land spirit, one which is the patron of the Free Kingdom. He might have always been around, but we probably woke him up and gave him power, just like a Discworld god.

>>26444101
The holiest sunniest rock of them all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dome_of_the_Rock

>>26444059
After the deaths of her friends (or horde as some scholars believe, indicating her age placing her much closer to dragons than modern lamia) Ssen's ability to act as paladin diminished somewhat. She thought to keep the powerful items she'd gathered in her youth with her own body. She isn't wrong, none have manage to steal anything from under her coils without having to dodge Beacon or a poison body part.

>>26444151
Several poor bastards got dragged in and are believe to be buried somewhere within the mound.

>>26444131
>build nice temple
>get many worshipers coming in and complimenting you on your temple
>glorious place for the light to be, yes indeed
>snake starts taking naps on your roof
>won't leave
>petitioners concerned about new decoration
>have to assure them it's a real snake, not a decoration
>just raises further questions

It writes itself

>>26443814
Read the mood. She just let something very personal and important to her slip and says she's done for now. We're making good progress with interrogating her the way that doesn't conflict with our morals. Let's not drop more revelations just because we want to see her reaction.

Sometimes I think we're becoming insufferable in that we don't consider the other person at all and just won't shut up about ourselves and the things we've done or discovered. Kind of making everything about us.

>>26444179
>Send neophyte up with broom.
>Comes back, sans broom.

>>26444179
>cleaners refuse to try to clean under her coils
>are secretly glad for her as the pigeon population is down
>ornithologists complain

>>26444179
Actually, if our current religious following is the start of a trend, it might bring in more worshipers.

>>26444222
>ornithologists suddenly found insane one morning
>keep crying and screaming to themselves about puns and mathematical formulas

>>26444222
>Twenty years later...
>Abbot of Snake Shrine
>Snakes draped over everything, including head.
>Abbot curses day he didn't go up there and kick the damn thing off.

>>26444215
She also said "I don't wanna talk no more" and personally I think telling other religions to fuck off is a pretty big trait of Paladins.

She believes in things we believe are wrong, and have been shown are wrong. We have to correct her.

>she just let something personal and important slip
So are we!

>>26444215
We're following up with something personal.

She's the first person we've told about the fact that we may well have the Light chatting to us in our sleep.

>>26444222
Actually, I imagine that we would keep it clean while we're up there.

And I just realized that with all of our sunning, we're probably a healthy shade of brown in addition to having red hair.

>>26444228
>Pilgrims start coming to see the snake.
>Place is now holy to ore than one faith.
>itbegins.jpg

snake throws roof tiles and loud religious demonstrators of either side

>>26444270
Depends on how long it's been since we've shed and the environment i guess.

Darker skin would help with the sunning

>>26444251
>Snakes draped over everything
>not Snake draped over everything
>There's also HUGE wasp nests out back

>>26444228
Actually had an idea regarding how to deal with our religious following. We (by which I mean all of the Dawnchasers; they're worshiping all of us) should hang out with them when we get the change. Drink with them, tease and tell embarrassing stories about each other, chat with them about mundane things, etc. I think it will be much harder to revere us as gods if we're frequently chatting with them and joking back and forth instead of being all distant and untouchable.

>>26444301
you know that's a pretty good idea. I really wish we had more time.
For someone who is planning to live thousands of years, we really never have any time available.

in short, I think we're firing off one last shot or two, then leaving.

After blowing her mind/informing her we're mad.

>>26444301
This actually a good idea. It'd show us to be adventurers, not prophets. We fuck up too often to be prophets.
Especially that arrowshot with Peace. She was busy talking and we took the shot. No God guiding our hand, just the stupidity of our greatest enemy to stand still.

>>26444301
We kill gods like it ain't no thang.

We're about as far removed from the general populace as you can get. Even if god came to have a drink and a laugh with you, there's only so long you can maintain your suspension of disbelief before it snaps back and it occurs to you that the being in front of you not only has the power to do so, but actively kills gods and turns the tide of wars just by being present.

>>26444301
So whatever city we live in will have more trouble revering us as gods, though some will still be present regardless, while worship builds up throughout the rest of the continent. Doesn't fix a whole lot.

"Look, if you're all so dead set on venerating me then make me a saint and put us all in some windows in a cathedral to His Light. But don't build the whole damn cathedral in my honor."

Toll: "Hell, while you're at it put up images of farmers and crafters. Don't tell me that shit ain't Holy in His Sight."

>>26444379
>Asking to be made a saint

No, dragon brain. Bad.

>>26444266
She may be the first person we tell but that doesn't make it personal. Something appropriately personal if we were even going to press on when she is clearly done for now would be something like the bag story. Something important to us that's hard to talk about.

I think Karen would be rightfully offended if we equated the revelation we're talking about here with what she just revealed.

"Without sadness, there is no happiness. Without death, there is no life. Without darkness, there is no light.

I'm sorry that you have suffered such tragedy that you have stopped looking forward to the future, but the wheels of change will continue to turn regardless, and trying to stop them is pointless. Bad things happen. Good things happen. It's the things we carry with us that give our lives meaning, and choosing to carry only the bad things will poison the soul." You say.

"I hope next time we'll be able to talk about Callie and Harry."

She just turns her head away.

"Oh, want to know a secret? Something about the leviathan part of my brain makes it really easy for spirits to talk to me. I've had all sorts in there - Citadel, The Fifth, The Cold Dark Man. Oh, the Pheonix was there once, but I didn't get the chance to talk to him.

And they're *all* dicks. Except one. Maybe he's the Light, maybe not, he doesn't actually know himself - But I'll tell you what he told me, something that I haven't even said to my friends yet: Everyone goes to the same place when they die, phoenix empire, UFK, crafter, orc, ettin, lamia, they all go to the same place.

You can either take comfort in that, or assume I'm entirely crazy. It's your call."

"What?" She asks. "What are you babbling about?"

"Nothing." You leave.

You head back to the camp to collect the others, but find Mab and Jesse-May already there waiting for you.

Mab is sitting in Mage's lap. Mage is looking at you and the others to make sure that's it's okay for him to be enjoying this.

Lea is up as well, she's got a poultice and a bandage (more bandages) on her side.

"Hey," Mab says. "Get anything useful out of the indoctrinated princess? Man, what is it with princess being absolutely nuts these days?"

"Mumei's not crazy." Peri says.

"She turned her back on her nation and wants to fly. It's a good nuts, and our kind of nuts, but still nuts." Mab says. "Good thing me and Dagda are such paragons of sanity."