>>26506066
Are you coming here for sympathy, subbie? Go hang out with the rest of your freakish ilk at rpgnet.

File: 1375968109260.png-(9 KB, 405x344, 1366574554400.png)

9 KB PNG

>>26506066

I think I'd rather have a faggot for a son than a multiclasser.

>>26506066
> Multiclassing
> Monk
You're a horrible person and you should feel bad.
At least you're not a Truenamer.

>>26506142
Hear hear.
if he's a faggot at least i can always have another son to replace him as the favourite. But a multi-classer? That shit's contagious!

>>26506157
Too far.

File: 1375968576250.png-(49 KB, 545x202, dnd_corpsehide.png)

49 KB PNG

>"Mom, Dad, I need to talk with you for a second."
>"What's up, son?"
>"I'm... I'm not a wizard."
>"We already knew that. The spellbook you carry around is always empty, and you're always casting the same spells over and over."
>"You... you knew I was a sorcerer? Well... I'm not just a sorcerer. I'm multiclassed into Escalation Mage and Wild Mage."
>"Son, so long as Gygax, Lord of the Dice favors you, you'll do well. But, uh... why Escalation Mage?"
>"The free quickening, mostly."

Have you ever been to a multiclass bar? It's like stepping onto a horrible alien world where everything is made of glitter and shame.

>>26506142
What type of faggot? A pitcher or a catcher?

>>26506202

Pitcher, obviously. If you're a catcher, you're not even human anymore. You're an elf.

The father's a heretic for not burning him on the spot. Claims to be a follower of Gygax and didn't even port him to the Tomb of Horrors? Bah. Heathens these days.

>>26506210
Hey now, no need to go that far. It doesn't even count if you're an elf, might as well be fucking a log.

File: 1375968856642.gif-(500 KB, 400x234, tumblr_mcz81fnWLd1rfkogxo1_400.gif)

500 KB GIF

>>26506210

>>26506224
the fathers a heretic for existing in a 3X universe when everyone knows being true to Gygax means only playing 1X

>>26506236
True Gygax is 2nd Edition AD&D, there's nothing more lethal and expansive. It's the way he would've wanted it.

>>26506066
But but aren't all we all equal roleplayers trying to play characters from different D&D classes?

In this analogy, are effective/optimal multiclasses hot lesbians?

>>26506271
Yes.

>>26506267
SCUM IS STILL SCUM. You can make your character interesting, without power gaming or turning him into a trainwreck.

>>26506290
What about Gestalts?

>"Mom, Dad, I'm a half-orc.
>"We know, son. We've always known."
>"Oh, yeah, I guess you would. Huh."

>>26506315
Aryan supermen.

>>26506315
Goddamn gifted people. Never having to struggle with a bad save or BAB.

>>26506066
OP's image sums up my feelings on multiclassing.

Unless you take a dip in Fighter for the weapon proficiences and feats, that's okay I guess. Just don't push your luck.

>>26506334

So, bisexuals?

>>26506339
What if you're a bard dipping into warblade for the Diamond Mind maneuvers that let you use Concentration checks for saves and shit so you can combine it with Undersong and do all your fighting by the power of music?

Being a single class fighter is like being straight, but wearing a fedora and watching MLP. It'd almost be better if your son was gay instead.

File: 1375970114331.gif-(497 KB, 500x379, homermelting.gif)

497 KB GIF

>>26506375
GET
OUT

>>26506419
How else do I play a non-magical mercenary-turned-Hedge Knight?

>>26506469

Oh god, I just threw up in my mouth a little.

>>26506469
Just accept that you will not be a productive member of murder hobo society, and of course no dragon/princess will jump on your dick.

File: 1375970616420.png-(44 KB, 1000x1000, sad.png)

44 KB PNG

>>26506519
Oh.

>>26506419
What's a straight guy who watches MLP but keeps it quiet and doesn't into fedoras?

'Cause--uh--I know a guy...

>>26506327

I kind of like the idea that the kid is somehow managing to hide the fact that he's a halfbreed. Like his human parent thinks he's pure human, the Orc parent thinks he's pure Orc.

File: 1375970708438.gif-(1.49 MB, 346x261, 1371780373036.gif)

1.49 MB GIF

>>26506345
>bisexuals
>anything but attention whoring teenagers

>>26506551

>straight guy
>watches MLP

Pick one, then come out of the closet.

>>26506551
>watching MLP at all

You're just broken, man.

>>26506345

You mean sluts?

>>26506551
Sorcerer. You're no alpha jock wizard, but at least you aren't a fighter (or a multiclasser).

>>26506551
A respectable person with odd tastes.

I don't care for MLP myself, but given the sorts of anime I watch, I feel I'm in no position to judge as long as we're talking about interest in the show per se.

>>26506551
A single class fighter wearing a dress and hiding his sword in the closet.

>"Mom, dad, I need to be honest with you two."
>"Whats wrong honey?"
>"I'm joining a monastery. I'm going straight monk."
>"Son, look, I know it seems like a great idea right now, but are you sure about this? The first 10 levels are going to be hell."
>"I know dad. I can do it if I know you guy's support me."
>"You'll always have a home here honey. We love you."

>>26506576
He comes back home for a visit and there is a for sale sign in his yard.

>>26506558
>>26506572
Given how much pussy I eat I must be in deep...

>>26506558
Hey, don't you dare compare bronies to gays.
Gays can be vaguely respectable when they want to be.

File: 1375971026155.jpg-(25 KB, 320x240, we're so old.jpg)

25 KB JPG

>>26506586
Hohoho.

File: 1375971045267.jpg-(7 KB, 200x200, 1373103542653.jpg)

7 KB JPG

>Dad... there's something I have to tell you... I... I play 2nd edition

>>26506607
Why do you eat cats? Cats are pets, not food.

>>26506622
>"GET OUT! I HAVE NO SON!"

>>26506607
>liking real women
Now I know for sure you're beyond help. Might as well kill yourself bud.

>>26506586

Like a month after he first left.

>>26506607

You know you're not supposed to actually chew and swallow the vagina, right?

I mean, you would know that if you weren't such a faggot.

>>26506622
>>26506636

What kind of scrubby babyfag would disown their son for playing the best edition?

>>26506622
I'm...cough...proud of you, son.
2e is still...caugh....retch....wheeze.....the best edition, and better than.....wheeze, wheeze, wheeze....any of those new, .....cough, spit.....plastic, soft, errrrr......where was I?

File: 1375971268248.png-(44 KB, 293x490, 1356600362533.png)

44 KB PNG

>>26506656
>second edition
>even being remotely salvageable

>>26506656

2e is only the best edition if your native language is Middle English.

>Mom.. dad.. I.. I'm.. not a wizard. I'm a.. mystic theurge/truenamer.

>>26506673

>needing to 'salvage' perfection

Sorry if it doesn't have Healing Surges, you casual faggot.

>>26506649
Maybe he's a Cannibal Corpse fan as well.

>>26506692
>>26506157
>>26506174

>TRUENAMER

File: 1375971524624.jpg-(39 KB, 292x400, hipster.jpg)

39 KB JPG

>Dad... I have to tell you something... I play Mummy: The Resurrection

>>26506692
I'd rather have a gay juggalo son than a truenamer.

File: 1375971557973.jpg-(40 KB, 435x480, baby_27.jpg)

40 KB JPG

>>26506066
>Oh Pelor, how did this happen?
>Implying two human min-maxing wizards would care about Pelor

>>26506722

>"I HAVE NO SON."
>"Actually, I've been meaning to tell you something else too.. do you know what 'genderqueer' means?"

>>26506692
Oh i'm sorry. i was under the impression I was raising A SON! NOT A DAUGHTER!

>>26506722
> I play Wraith. FOR FUN.

>>26506727
Athiests still say "oh god"

File: 1375971673020.png-(62 KB, 212x250, 1352093514643.png)

62 KB PNG

>>26506745
Where did I go wrong?

>>26506722

YOU WHA- Oh...oh, okay...well, it's okay, son. We can work through this. Sweet Caine, I thought you were going to say the Curse, there. I'm sorry, son.

>>26506722
Atleast it's not the first edition of Little Fears

>Defiler
>King of Lust

>>26506745

>I play Wraeththu

>..Mum? Dad? Look. Sit down. I've got something to tell you. I've been pretending.. I'm not a spellcaster. I'm.. a samurai.

File: 1375971850245.gif-(431 KB, 500x281, 1358641541405.gif)

431 KB GIF

>Mom....dad... I use an Infect deck

>>26506066
Were you at Yeppoon Little Theatre.....

>>26506789
shamefur dispray

>>26506789
>>26506793
I'm writibg you both out of the will. Your grandfather would have just shot you.

>>26506810
errr... writing.

>mom, dad... I play CoC unironically. I also donated

>>26506196
>rolls nat 20
skills dont work that way

god these stories annoy me

>Mom,Dad... I fight I war on two fronts...

>>26506793
you either go to rehab or get the fuck out of this house right now, son.

>/tg/ I have something to confess. I only come here for quest and custom card threads.

>>26506554
Or maybe his human "father" was cuckolded by an orc, and his mother lied and said her grandmother was half orc.

>I.. I.. play mono-red burn.. and.. I play Eldar. And not even the current edition. I'm so sorry.

>>26506798

The fuck is that?

>Emperor, Primarch... Do you have a moment to talk about the word of Slaneesh, yiff be its name

File: 1375972320781.gif-(197 KB, 221x197, 1374241817132.gif)

197 KB GIF

>Dad... I play a Gangrel

Son, I am so proud

>>26506841
>custom card threads
Well, son, that's alr-
>quest threads
YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE THIS INSTANT.

>>26506886
>yiff be its name

"Oh, Leman Russ, you scamp, you got me again. Run along now and tell Lorgar to come out of his room."

>"Mom, Dad, I have a confession to make... I'm the faggot who made those minotaur wet nurse threads"

>>26506821
But Call of Cthulhu's a fine game! I don't see why you would be ashamed of--
Oh. Ooooh.

>Mom, Dad.... I'm a CE paladin

>>26506841
I will find you and I will make you pay for what you and your kin have done.

>>26506841
LEAVE THIS PLACE AND NE'ER RETURN.

>>26506684
>2e is only the best edition if your native language is Middle English.
Is... is this not normal?

>"Mom, Dad - I'm a transmortal."
>"Harold, what is he saying?"
>"Oh god, Margaret. It all makes sense now. His aversion to garlic. How he stopped going to church. The dessicated hobos under his bed."
>"Harold, you mean - Honey, is it true? Are you a vampire?"
>"OH MY CAINE MOM AND DAD THAT'S A HATE WORD CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE CISMORTAL SCUM"

>>26506556
It's like I'm really on /lgbt/!

>>26506785
So do I. There can only be one.

>>26506841
You make me fucking sick.

>>26506933
>A cisscum spouting transgender vampire
Godbless, I think I have found my next character. He/She (wait no, uh, Xe?) will only feed on white male cis scum.

>>26506570
...uh.

I enjoy the show, but hate the overemotional self-entitled fandom that comes along with it.

>>26506878
If you don't know, you don't know

>>26506918
Run. Run until your soles bleed and your body can run no longer. When you pass out under the harsh sun, only then will it be time to rest. Then, when you awake, you must run again.

>mom, dad I'm a sonicchu

File: 1375972894983.gif-(500 KB, 500x381, 1359599924749.gif)

500 KB GIF

>Mom... dad... there's something I have to tell you... I almost exclusively play blue control decks
>Haha, alright, son. You're always such a joker.
>I'm not joking, dad!
>mother breaks out into tears
>LOOK WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR MOTHER, STOP THIS PRANK IMMEDIATELY
>THIS IS WHO I AM, DAD
>GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE, NO SON OF MINE COULD BE SO HORRIBLE.

>"Mom, dad... I have something to tell you... I... I'm multiclass Monk/Wizard/Cancer Mage. And... and I'm an Ashkeru Illumian."

>>26507017

>"Go forth, my son, and zap to the extreme!"

>mom, dad stop railroading me into being your son. I'm a dragon born were panda hermaphrodite and my name is Tiffany

>>26507032
>thank you father. I must go now and find my one true girlfriend

>>26506933

>The dessicated hobos under his bed

Lost it.

>>26506157
>At least you're not a Truenamer.
At least truenamers with Truenaming skill check modifier of around +200 can spam some things and degenerate the game that way.

>>26506960
This.

>Dad! I got a twenty on my skill check!
>So?
>B- But dad-
>Do you know what I did today? I finally managed to unite the noble houses against the Dog of the South through political manipulation and sheer cunning. There were great successes and horrible blunders but it all culminated in this day.
>But I-
>What? What have you done with one check that deserves my attention?
>I- I picked a- uh- rare herb in the trails. It's for you.
>get out.

>>26507053
>dad shoots mom and then himself. the shame caused by their failure to bring up a proper son was too great to bear.

File: 1375973323054.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 55 KB, 625x351)

55 KB JPG

>>26506960
I know that feel, my friend. I know that feel.

>Mom, Dad likes to ERP as you with me.
>Son I am dad

>>26507095
There's a note:
>This is entirely your fault, TOM. My life was perfect in every way and you are the sole reason we are dead. You shame us, your ancestors and your peers. Your existence is a blight on the world and I hope your death is slow and painful.
>Dinner is in the fridge.
There is no signature.

File: 1375973410792.png-(87 KB, 608x580, HARHARHAR.png)

87 KB PNG

>>26507067
>>26507032
>>26507017
Excellent Work. A+

>Mom, dad, I must admit something to you, I stopped playing RPG
>Daughter, you can't do that what will you become
>I'm a DM now
>...

>>26506955

Their best friend is a werewolf furry whose fursona is another, slightly different and faggier, werewolf.

>>26507017
>Son, I am Jerkop.

>>26507151
>Yes lord, I will kill the child.

>>26507151
That's... a bad thing?

>>26507161
>Jerkop father, I am tomgirl now and become my own one true girlfriend

>>26506911

No, son, I did.

>Mom, Dad... I... I buy my 40k models directly from Games Workshop!

> Mom. dad. I... I am a trallherd.
> That is fine, our son. We love and respect you, our son. You are one sexy motherfucker.
> I knew you'd say that.

>>26507240
You monster.

>>26507151
>You walk a dark path my child. We will pray for you. May Gygax, Pratchett, and Gaiman light your way.

>>26506649
>>26506633
Ooops...

>>26506642
Right? I'm too normal to hang with pony autists and too different to hang with people who hate ponyfans because of said autists.

FOREVER APONE.

>>26506570
>>26507124
>>26506960
Y'all seem like bros (or sisters, whichever). Rock on.

>>26507295

>Pratchett forgets the light

>>26507319

He doesn't have that kind of Alzheimer's. Yet, at least.

>/tg/, I have a confession to make
>I lurk this board despite not knowing shit about roleplaying
>I only contribute when information pertaining to history, science and mythology is necessary
>I also fancy Channelball and my favorite mtg videogame is the microprose one

>>26506247
That's heresy. Gygax was against 2e and said as much. True Gygax is 1e/UA, with 1e-ites and followers of Holmes, Moldvay and Mentzer being "tolerable" heretics.

>>26507390
> my favorite mtg videogame is the microprose one
You are my brother.

>Mom, Dad, I have a confession to make. I just lost the game.
>YOU FUCKING CUNT SON

>>26507425

GODDAMNIT MAN. IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE I LAST HEARD THAT. FUCK.

>>26506622
>Give me your books, son.
>"Wh-what are you going to do?"
>WE are going to burn these.... things. Then WE are going to roll up a First Edition character for you. Then you're going to the Village of Hommlet.

>>26507425

I hope you shit out your own lungs.

>>26506826

A lot of groups house rule crits and crit fails on skill checks. You act like this is a new concept.

>>26507516
in my group the power of friendship only works on nat 20s

What's the worst possible build in 4e?

>>26507608

Playing 4e.

>"Mom, Dad... I'm 4th edition."

>>26507608
Dont listen to this >>26507630 faggot.

It's the vampire class or anything from essentials really. You still be able to contribute, just not well.

File: 1375975993935.jpg-(290 KB, 1280x969, 1353307415028.jpg)

290 KB JPG

>"Dad, you know the times when I go out and said I was going to my friend's house play L5R?"
>"Yes..."
>"Well, I was playing d20 Oriental Adventures, instead."
>his face when

>>26507727

Shamefur etc.

>>26507740
The most shamefur kind.

>>26507686
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDevd7O2fq8

>>26507053
8/10

>>26507727
>"Dad, I gotta tell you something toon. When Anon-kun was getting into d20 Oriental Adventures... I started playing Blood and Honor."

>>26507686
>You were adopted. Now get out.

>>26507785
>Dad its not an avatar, ITS MY TOON! RESPECT MY CHOICES!

>>26507019
Make the two parents gruul guys and it's okay

File: 1375976603412.jpg-(173 KB, 1500x1500, bokken - practice wood sword.jpg)

173 KB JPG

>>26507785
Here, see this? Commit seppuku now. I'd like to see you try.

>>26507390
You're a good person.

>>26507840
>"You're not the Daimyo of me!"

File: 1375976859881.jpg-(171 KB, 400x474, today on history channel.jpg)

171 KB JPG

>"Dad, I dont actually play RPGs. I only pretend to so I can look at fantasy images to fuel my imagination so I can think of crazy shit while walking around my room"

>>26507900
Aw yeah. This is the reason the Monk class exists.

>>26507900
>son, This is just a fantasy too. Your real dad is making you his wife in the real world. Hope you rolled a good anal circumference

>>26507390
>favorite mtg videogame is the microprose one
Oh nigga, my nigga.

>>26507020
>Cancer mage
>We still love you

File: 1375979058448.gif-(887 KB, 480x268, 1370932170430.gif)

887 KB GIF

>>26506556
>not being a little girl
do you even /a/

>>26508224

Can't the Cancer Mage get near-infinite strength through some kind of loophole?

>>26509888
Yes. With some kind of disease.

>>26509942
Cancer Mages ignore all negative effects of the diseases they have. Book of Vile Darkness, where the Cancer Mage is from, *also* contains diseases with beneficial side effects.

However, the only one I can think of off the top of my head grants the Cancer Mage limitless AC, not limitless strength.

>>26510153
>>26509942
Festering Anger is the disease.

>>26507295
I get Gygax, but who are the other two?

>>26507067
>gf
>not sweetheart
cmon step it up

>>26506841

I will dedicate my life to pissing on you and everything you hold dear.

>>26506327
why is it worse to be gay than black?
you don't have to tell your parents you're black

File: 1375994215940.jpg-(8 KB, 194x259, images (2).jpg)

8 KB JPG

>>26506754
"-Oh me..."

>Mom, Dad. I'm a level 24 Fighter Demigod
>But neither of us are divine...
>I switched to 4e

File: 1375995317905.jpg-(509 KB, 1654x3443, Muscle Wizards Full Edition.jpg)

509 KB JPG

>>26509888

>>26506722
>oh thats fine, at least its not changling the dreaming.

Are those that defend SKR's ivory tower ideals and hatred of the crossbow or water balloons basically the subop-agenda?

>>26511918
The one post in there about carefully reading the effects of No Light throws me for a loop. How is this abusable?

http://dndtools.eu/spells/book-of-vile-darkness--37/no-light--249/

I'm not sure if I should tell my dad that my first D&D character was a full on necromancer.

Should I be ashamed?

>>26512247
Maybe it has to do with the darkvision?

>>26512247
It's a fucking 0 level spell.
You are a dorf. You go to your dorf wizard and ask him for your coming of age badge of no-light. It costs something like 1k, which you have by the time of 2nd level. You walk around constantly surrounded by a 20ft sphere of darkness you can see through.

>>26512518
And no, I have no idea how that is OP. Almost everything that wants to kill you has Darkvision. Only humans and fucking good-aligned races don't have it and even they can just bring out a similarly priced item of Light.

>>26511583

What if they're both blind?

>>26506607

Being Korean doesn't matter one way or the other, bro.

>>26506566
Bisexuals aren't necessarily sluts.

I mean, two people isn't sluttery, is it?

>Dad, I have a confession...
>E?
>I'm...
>Ek?
>I multiclass.
>Ee?
>I'm a druid/bard...
>EEK EEKEKEKEKEK!
>Dad, no! You don't understand!
>KEKEEKEKEEK!
>No, it's not like that!
>Eek! Kekek!
>I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!
>EEEEEEEEEEK!
>WELL MAYBE I'LL JUST GET A MORE OPEN MINDED ANIMAL COMPANION, DAD!

So what about

Hybrid characters

>"Mom, Dad...I have to confess"
>"What is it, son?"
>"I...I tpked a whole adventurers party"
>"That is my son! Sure you had lots of back up from the rest of the tribe"
>"No dad, I soloed the whole party"
>"Wha...?"
>"I have levels in character class"
>"By Kurtulmak! *sob*"
>"And...that is not all...I also...I also have a template"
>"GET OUT OF THIS LOW LEVEL DUNGEON! YOU ARE NOT MY SON ANYMORE!!! GO SPEND YOUR DAYS ON A TAVERN GETTING QUESTS!!!!"

>>26506142
>>26506173
>>26506339
Multiclassing is perfectly acceptable for classes that aren't full casters.

A Wizard going Monk/Ranger though? Disgusting.

>>26508325
Shit, I was listening to Close to the Edge and that .gif matched up so perfectly with the beat.

Sage ofr offtopic

>>26514647
*off
>>26513912
By the way, that's sort of the plot of Goblins

>>26514042
What about Wizard/Cleric/Mystic Theurge? Or does that not count because the inclusion of a paragon path? And I'll admit that I'm thinking of Pathfinder here, but I could swear the Mystic Theurge exists in 3.x

Sooo.....


What about sorcerer/wizrad multi?

10 spells a day (not including int and cha bonuses) is pretty cool.

>>26515247
Mystic Theurge is actually suboptimal in 3.x compared to a number of other paths you could take.

File: 1376010146919.gif-(133 KB, 800x1395, minion.gif)

133 KB GIF

why be a wizard at all? that shit gets tedious.

>"Greetings, my family. I must be honest with you. I know you wanted me to be a strong, fearsome half-orc. But.."
>"But what, Son?"
>"I've been a bard since my first adventure"
>Diplomacy Check Success
>"We suppose that is fine, Son. Just don't be sleeping with any of those damn Elves"

>>26515347
Same problem as Mystic Theurge (I assume you're talking about going Ultimate Magus or whatever the sorc/wiz crosscasting PrC is). You have to drop four whole levels of wizard and three levels of sorcerer before you get in, meaning you're constantly behind. Early levels are hell, because when everybody is screaming at you 'Summon something to kick ass!' you can only respond with 'sorry, would you like another magic missile?'

And int/cha bonus sounds nice, but it turns out to be far more efficient to just focus on one stat and continue boosting that, because the return on investment for increasing a single stat is more than linear in practicality.

>>26515458
>not wanting to be the best class that can pull a win card out of his ass in every sotuation

>>26515513
Yeah, Artificers are awesome.

>>26515484
Well I figure I'd focus more on support in the lower levels (shit like blur and mage armor) as I still retain usefulness, because +4AC is ALWAYS useful.

And int/cha would be my two highest scores to start with anyways, but then I'd have to actualy put something in wis because wizard.

And yeah, early shit sucks, but when you get later, it gets fun.

>>26515476
>>"We suppose that is fine, Son. Just don't be sleeping with any of those damn 'X'"

He already failed.

>>26515476
Bards are p. Cool. I like to interpretive dance my way out of encounters

File: 1376010634483.png-(41 KB, 1235x475, The Power of Interpretati(...).png)

41 KB PNG

>>26515564

>>26515529
>+4AC is ALWAYS useful.

You would be surprised.

>>26507900
I... I thought I was the only one..,

>>26506955

Best Malk I've ever heard of.

>Mom, Dad, I...I've got a confession to make.
>Sure, son! What is it?
>I...I'm not going to cast any more Conjuration spells. Or Illusion spells. I'm becoming an Evoker, and they're my opposed schools!
>But son, what about Dimension Door? Ghost Sound?
>NO DAD, I WANT TO CAST FIREBALLS AT THINGS, OKAY?

Even wizard families have their problem children.

>>26515661
Friends don't let friends pick evo.

>>26515689
Do you or your friends memorize Evocation spells that are not Magic Missile, Wall of Force, or Forcecage?

Do you ever think "it'd be fun to roll dice for damage instead of summoning all the monsters or forcing save-or-die situations"?

If yes, you're a miserable failure of a Wizard and need to put that spellbook down right the fuck now, but there IS help available.

>>26515484
Heavily Archetyped Sorc 1 / Wizard is the optimal blasting build in PF.

>>26515723
What's wrong with memorizing permanency?

>>26515921
It's a Universal spell, not Evocation.

>>26515958
Huh. Haven't read through the PHB for a while. Don't know why I thought it was evocation.

You know what should be evocation though? Healing and Conjuration (creation) spells.

Father.

I play...Monk. In the 3.5. As a full blooded Orc.

Father.

I love you so much. Please...Stop...Beating...Me....

File: 1376012545736.jpg-(23 KB, 300x309, rage.jpg)

23 KB JPG

>>26506066
>"Mom, Dad, I have a confession to make."
>"What is it, son?"
>"I'm playing a dragonborn."
>"I...I see son, is that all?"
>"No, she's a half-elf, half-dragon dragonborn."
>"You...why, how did it---"
>"Stareyze Mircle-Beambow has 3 wings and two tails."
>"Stop this son, stop this..."
>"She was born on TWO DIFFERENT PLANES! He has extra powers and abilities at will, and can only be hurt by Godslayer! A sword in my personal possession!"
>"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...."
>"I'm sorry dad, I don't know where it went wrong, but I played a mary sue, and I liked it."
>"Just...go, I need some time alone, you're mother is going to be in tears."
>"My character's blood cures sadness..."
>"...pic related"

>>26515484
My 3.x mystic theurge only dropped one level. Just take alternate source spell.

>>26507900

Goddamnit I do this.

>"Mom... dad... I optimize my characters mechanically before writing their backstories or coming up with the slightest bit of personality."
>"Where did we go wrong? Did you do it to spite us?"
>"No, it's not like that! I roleplay them to the hilt and justify every last broken ability on my character sheet in ways that completely make sense!"
>"Bullshit! Get out of my house!"

File: 1376014814251.png-(393 KB, 625x692, flour.png)

393 KB PNG

>Mom, dad... I tried to buy flour
>I HAVE NO SON. OR FLOUR, FOR THAT MATTER. NONE AT ALL.

>>26506607
Unless you're a dyke, in which case the closet thing is kinda academic, you're supposed to get oral, not give it.

>>26516226
PF Theurge is probably a little better. Every level of Mystic Theurge gives +1 to your arcane caster AND divine caster class levels, they can mix-and-match prepared spell slots from either class so you can have a whole lot of cleric spells, whole lot of wizard spells, or a point between the two... And at Mystic Theurge 10 they can cast two spells as a single action. When Wizard and Cleric have pretty great spell lists. Seems decent, though more geared towards making the multiclass feasible, rather than making it exceptionally powerful.

>>26516615
Flour?

File: 1376015271440.jpg-(258 KB, 600x450, NFA.jpg)

258 KB JPG

Ha, I've been waiting a while for a thread like this.

I have a dark secret, I haven't really had time to start a thread like this since the NFA has been on my ass since 2007.

But, I played, 3.5, 4E, and pathfinder, and I HAD FUN

FUCK they're onto me now. Carry on /tg/ I gotta get outta here before those NFA Agents take me down, fight th----

"Carry on citizen, do not enjoy what you are doing, fun is not fun."

>>26516754
>Fun is not fun.

Fun confirmed for not being fun. Fuck this fun stuff, I think I'll go do some high level math homework and have a colonoscopy while I'm at it.

File: 1376015562913.jpg-(81 KB, 400x380, #1wizard.jpg)

81 KB JPG

>>26516789
>colonoscopy
>not fun

>their raphonor

>>26506927
Middle English is Chaucer English. Go read some Chaucer in the native dialect.

File: 1376016162434.jpg-(118 KB, 1048x720, not okay.jpg)

118 KB JPG

>>26516754
Serves you right you sick bastard.

Enjoying multiple editions, THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

File: 1376017615176.jpg-(122 KB, 460x640, dave.jpg)

122 KB JPG

> I have a confession, /tg/.
> I only play Magic to irritate other players
> I love to turbofog and stall
> The visions of rage on my opponent's face when the game stalls is worth it every time
> My new deck will include two copies of Karn Liberated
> If I could I'd run four copies of Schezerade
> I'm thinking of making a deck stacked with swap effects
> I don't even want to win the game, just irritate the shit out of them

>>26517389
Eye of the Storm, instant cards with flashback, Runic Repetition, cards that untap your lands, and a whole bunch of cards that require human interaction to resolve.

Basically, you stick Eye of the Storm out there. You cast a card that untaps lands, it goes on Eye of the Storm. You cast your card with flashback, it goes on Eye of the Storm. Untap your lands. You cast Runic Repetition, it goes on Eye of the Storm. Untap your lands, return the card with flashback to your hand. Cast Stitch in Time. It goes on Eye of the Storm. Untap your lands, flip your coin. Cast your card with flashback. It goes on Eye of the Storm. Untap your lands, return your card with flashback to your hand, and Stitch in Time is on the stack. Run out your flashback card again. And again. And again.

There are now a number of copies of Stitch in Time on the stack equal to Graham's Number. You cannot resolve the game state without individually flipping each coin to determine how many extra turns you have. The only option for all players involved at this point is to scoop, as actually trying to resolve the game state at this point will take so long that the last star in the universe will have burnt out eons ago by the time you manage it.

>>26516709
you missed the timing on that one

File: 1376018739042.gif-(2.96 MB, 300x264, 1346370307232.gif)

2.96 MB GIF

>>26517627
>There are now a number of copies of Stitch in Time on the stack equal to Graham's Number.
Oh god yes
You magnificent bastard
I love you

>>26517733
It works with other things, too. My personal favorite is Time Spiral, since even if someone decided to try and resolve the first couple dozen instances of it they end up putting significant wear on their decks and sleeves and it takes much longer to resolve each instance of the spell than Stitch in Time.

>>26507516
>A lot of groups house rule crits and crit fails on skill checks.
And they are having BADWRONGFUN.

>>26507180
And so Isaac ran to his room, and looked for a way to escape, only to spy a trapdoor underneath his rug that he hadn't noticed before...

>>26514703
Which goblins?

So i'm playing pathfinder, I made a custom race lizardfolk that can shoot blood out of their eyes and I made him a wizard. I'm stuck on what school of magic to pick, i'm thinking of picking Evocation and giving up Necromancy and Enchant, what do

>>26519017
Conjuration man, conjuration into bloatmage. Be the fattest, blood-filled, cloudkilling, black tentacling, acid arrow from the eye's spraying horney toad the west has ever seen!

>>26519073
That does sound great, but I forgot to mention we have a summoner in the party already so i'd like to not share the same job with him. He's playing a half-elf half-orc trap, I don't even know how this is going to work.

>>26519138
Oh and what archetype (if any) should I pick?

>Mom, I... Dad did things to me, mom.
>Wh-what!? Haro-harold wouldn't!
>He did, mom.
>He...he made me played FATAL with him.

File: 1376025265496.jpg-(56 KB, 225x220, Jesus Christ how horrifying.jpg)

56 KB JPG

>>26519300

>>26519300
thats much worse then molestation

File: 1376025449137.jpg-(18 KB, 250x150, image.jpg)

18 KB JPG

>>26507297
>Apone
ANOTHER GLORIOUS DAY IN THE CORPS

File: 1376026000236.jpg-(2 KB, 110x125, 1375917466020s.jpg)

2 KB JPG

>>26507929

>>26513753
In 1e, all bards were druids.

>>26521873
Fochlucan Lyrist bards are druids too.

>>26516619
You officially fail at women forever. You are now only allowed to fuck men.

>>26522826
You say that like the alternative was fucking women. Giving oral isn't fucking them.

>>26506551
/mlp/

>>26516827
>buffscale rapes children
Go back to /tesg/ faggot.

>Mom, Dad...
I don't use coasters

>>26506554

There's the Shadowrun feat "Human-looking" for metatypes, see if your DM would allow it as a feat.

>>26525368
>/tesg/
wish we'd have a separate board for that

>>26525443

Alternatively, what if Orcs adopt a human kid and he grows up desperately becoming an Orc Poseur to try live up to his Orcish parents?

File: 1376061605778.png-(11 KB, 450x450, 1336669847597.png)

11 KB PNG

>>26525383
>Mary, get me the shotgun.
>W-why-
>YOU KNOW WHY, JUST DO IT.
>Son we're going to go have a talk behind the shed about proper coaster use.

>>26523957
It's more pleasurable for about 90% of women.

Do you even Dr. Drew?

>>26519369
I guess I'm not so badly off after all...

At least until the aliens.

>>26525621
Yes, and...?

File: 1376073139734.jpg-(142 KB, 446x620, dave2.jpg)

142 KB JPG

>>26517860
It's beautiful.

Right now I've got a theoretical mono-blue setup of Eye Of The Storm, Runic Repetition, Memory's Journey and Time Spiral. The mono-blue helps tie in stalling tactics like counter-spells.
What are some other good cards that require human interaction? How much are EotS and Time Spiral right now? Could I make a reasonably priced brick of uncut Troll with them?

File: 1376076142382.gif-(1024 KB, 260x146, 1364594863675.gif)

1024 KB GIF

>>26507900
God fucking dammit

>>26506197
what were you doing in a multiclass bar?

File: 1376077644399.jpg-(96 KB, 400x346, 1349566085527.jpg)

96 KB JPG

>>26528650
I shouldn't be laughing at that gif.
Why am I laughing?

>>26528002
Eye of the Storm goes for under $0.50. Time Spiral is about $20.

As for cards that require human interaction, you need that interaction to result in a game state outside of anybody's control. So coin flips and library shuffles are good ideas. I recommend going Izzet colors with it since that gets you access to all sorts of coin flippy goodness.

File: 1376079590176.jpg-(10 KB, 155x165, what the fuck man.jpg)

10 KB JPG

>>26519300
>>26525383

>>26506066
Hi, I'm a Pathfinder Paladin. I'm here to talk to you about how a Tier 4 can defeat a Tier 1.

Step 1: Geek the wizard in his sleep.

>>26517627

oh god, this shit needs a screencap.

>>26506339
Taking two dips into other classes for metamagic stuff, it's literally quadrupling my damage. A few cases it's fine too, but admitably there's very limited amounts worth dipping into.

>>26526693
Oh for fuck sake vagina tastes awesome, and you should give head if you ever want to get head.

>>26532287
Why should you?

>>26533803
Because if you won't do it why would your partner.

>>26533854
So you're saying sex with a partner can and should only ever be 1 for 1 trades?

>>26534520
If you're not going to eat your girl why should she blow you.
If you're not going to blow your man why should he eat you.

And I say this as a man with a very fun penis to play with.

Also I love titfucks so no 1 for 1 trades.

>Dwarf comes out to his parents
>Father sits him down and gives him 'The Talk'
>It's about duty, and honor, and tradition, and doing things you don't like because those are things you have to do. Also Grudges.
>There are no openly gay dwarves
>Just dwarves doing their duty. As did their parents before them.
>Occasionally one can't deal with it
>Strips down to his undershorts, dyes his hair orange, runs screaming at giant monsters with an axe until something can kill him.

>>26534520
In events where a corresponding sexual act exists, absolutely.

File: 1376106226728.gif-(922 KB, 400x225, 1375250693916.gif)

922 KB GIF

>>26534843
>Also Grudges
> captial G
Hhhhyesss
Dwarves live a long time for a reason.

>>26525604
>tfw told off by GM for not using coasters

>>26534772
>>26534972
What if either of you views sex as more than a bunch of tit-for-tat trades?

For example, what if you just like pleasing each other? Or if you enjoy giving each other oral?

Are such relationships really so unimaginable that you need to ask what possible reason other than trade you could have for pleasing a partner?

>>26541128
If you enjoy giving oral then your partner getting oral from you is 1 for 1.

>>26528002
bumping for more of this, it sounds good.