The mission to find and use the Grand Seal on the Heart of Citadel is proceeding forward with the same kind of finite precision that you use in all your Dawnchaser plans.

You set free Sun and Cai, the two Phoenix Empire spies, putting them under the charge of the Freed Citadel-Things, so that they could help the Shadow Company. Mainly in securing more supplies, rescuing people, and making sure that their new position is as stable as possible.

It's a gamble, to be sure. The Kingfisher's people have stabbed you in the back before. However, this time it seemed to be different. Sun and Cai really did seem to be highly upset that Kingfisher had not only left them out to try in the different Citadels, but also was planning on using the power of Citadel to do something wide-spread and possibly horrid. Either way, Sun expressed his feelings that once that happened Kingfisher would view his people as 'expendable' at best. Which was a fact he took exception to.

Still, having the people of the Empire running around inside Citadel was a poor tactic, so you pursued reports from the Freed, about Deviances in Citadel's perfection. One led you to the Citadel dedicated to the joys of Youth.

Citadel here was a bit of a madhouse. Children ran loose everywhere, playing games, breaking things, fighting, having overly elaborate tea parties, and basically being kids (or adults who now look/act like kids) in a city with no rules. So far none of them have turned into donkeys, or were taken underground during the night by morlocks, but knowing Citadel, there's probably worse.

Either way, after avoiding some sticky pies, and dealing with stickier fingers, you've found out that there's a big to-do at the Courthouse. Some spies have been caught, and there's a trial set, along with an execution after.

Woo, time for the newest episode of snaketrain. This time starring: too many children.
And morlocks.

>>26964373
The Courthouse looks pretty good. There's graffiti and food mess here and there, and mustaches have been drawn on the statues. However, no one's defaced the grand doors and it's a bit quieter here than in the rest of the city.

There's even a few kids sitting on the steps sleeping, having a quiet meal, or just reading. A few look up at you for a moment, and then go back to what they were doing before.

There's muffled sound coming from WITHIN the courthouse though, and even though there's no broken windows, the inside of the place looks like there's either a giant food fight, insane painting project, madhouse riot, (or all three) going on inside.

>>26964436
Oh joy, this is going to be like one of those old TV shows with the children saying to execute them all.
Oh, you've interrupted the proceedings, that's execution!


OUTLANDER! We have your woman!

>>26964436
I'm surprised these kids don't give a shit about snake ladies. I'm also surprised those other not-kids aren't back with our darn meat pie yet.

"You know, I think we'll need to go in there. Is it silly that I'm dreading this more than many of the things we've been doing lately?"

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Alright. I've thought about this and come to the following determination:

1. There is going to be a Citadel Paladin as the judge. A fucking clown, most likely. If we go defense attorney, he will distract the "jury" (mob of children) with antics. He will call in reinforcements if he sees a group of adults enter the room.
2. Lea has been revealed to be extremely good with children
3. The Not-Kids are illusioned adults.

So... Here's my plan:

Ssen and Tricia go on distraction duty as not Kid lawyers for PE. They do this by reliving their childhood friendship, not by pie-throwing or whatever other game Citadel uses to cause chaos. Tricia plays defense with "hey look at this cool bug"

Lea plays nanny for a bit. Threats with the bag and promises of candy are fair game. It should be enough to bring Ssen back to her senses.
Mage uses a stalking spell on himself and MariPeri. Mage sneaks in and does his thing, MariPeri are on overwatch just in case, with a whisper flute in hand.

>>26964524
>reliving their childhood friendship
A. aren't we usually doing this?
and B. would a good argument be enough for it? We have always been arguing about dumb things.

Like whether a sphere of corpses is a monster.

>>26964578
By "reliving their childhood friendship," I mean the very scene pictured. We talk about our childhood, play the old forest games we used to play, find a wagon, get jars, fill them with fireflies. Write "witnesses" on the side.

Make a big game out of playing defense attorney for PE. It should be enough to get us in the right mindset and a sane one at that.

We get through the door, pass the Citadel Paladin's intruder check, and then commence with the trial as a distraction for Mage. The better we defend the PE, the more the clown judge will have to focus on rigging the trial. That gives Mage a huge opening.

The other option, walk in as adults, leads to a fight scene in a room full of children. Which should be fun. Fighting a mob of children.

>>26964524
I called #1 in the last thread.

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>>26964688
I know. And all I can think about is the ways that fucking clown judge is going to be worse than Pennywise.

>>26964524
>>26964578
Acting like kids will mean we buy into Citadel. We'll certainly have to be clever like to suggest, and play to what children (especially spoiled ones) will listen to and like, but we're not going to act like kids.

Rolled 6, 1, 6 = 13

>>26964699
Oh god
nightmaresforaweek.jpg

"You know, I think we'll need to go in there. Is it silly that I'm dreading this more than many of the things we've been doing lately?" You say.

"It might just mean that you're finally achieving some sense of pattern recognition and a form of self-preservation." Lea says.

"Uh, hang on." A voice says. A kid is sitting on the stairs reading a book. Your eyes aren't blurring, so this is ACTUALLY a kid. "You're going inside there?"

"Yeah." Tricia says.

"Okay," He gets up. "Then I'm going to have to ask you for five gold for my services."

"Services for what?" Mage asks.

"Your lawyer." He says. "I'll tell the others you're not guilty inside, so you wont end up on trial accidentally. I'm a good one too. I know twenty First Age words, and a few phrases. 'Cogno egro sum' and 'Memory two mori.' I'm one of the best." He says with a grin. "The old bald guy went in with his two friends, but...well...dumbass move on his part. Cheap bastard too."

>>26964699
don't give Echo ideas man.

but yeah I don't think we should get ourselves kidified if at all possible. Nobody trusts the kids that help the adults, don't' you remember grade school?

>>26964706
I think an important factor is that, unlike the pie throwing, the interaction between Ssen and Tricia will be something Citadel doesn't understand.

We were "dirty children," not loud and bratty children.

>>26964723
See? We go in there and we're all in the same boat as the PE. Maybe even worse. It's kids only.
Plus, this lawyer dude proves not everyone here has been overtaken by the warp.

>>26964723
"Actually, we're that guy's lawyers."

>>26964724
And they'd trust adults helping other adults so much better.

>>26964723
"Fair enough, let me check to see if we actually have any gold left. We started using these Isen things, so gold is a bit harder to actually find."
While searching for pocket change,
"So, how do things usually go in there? We're sort of hoping to get that old baldy off of whatever dumbass thing he's doing."

>>26964764
Bonus as adults is we can actually wield our weapons if need be.

Also kids love us.

>>26964792
we just need to offer rides. It's our emergency exit plan.

Well, for everyone else. It'll be one of those "No! Run you fools! Leave me behind!" situations, while we get swarmed by a dogpile of kids yammering "Me first!" "No me!"

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>>26964792
The clown will turn them against us. Look, I'm warning you guys. But you won't listen.

Echo even outright said that Lea could keep us under control and we could go in without any problems. But instead you guys want to trip the alarm.

This is the point in a lot of movies where the kids know what's going on and the adults don't listen.

>>26964876
>"No adults allowed"
>"What are you talking about? Kids love us!"

>>26964854
Walking into traps is what we do.
>>26964876
We ought to exploit this tho, citadel is a sucker for bullshit like that.

>>26964887
So...are you renting a 'lawyer' or not?

>>26964906
Yeah. Might as well rent kid Ace Attorney since we don't want to be one ourselves.

Expect a guilty verdict.

>>26964928
look, I'd like to try being kid ace attourney, but that will most likely just wind up making us look like silly adults.

Also I would be hiring the kid lawyer either way, since there's nothing saying your legal team can't have some additional members on it.

>>26964957
Oh yeah, having him alongside Ssen as a legal team would be great.

>>26964906
YES! Definitely yes.

Also, can Meri help? She must know lots of old languages. Hell, if she teaches the kid a few we might get a discount on saving Team PE's asses.

>>26964973
His "old language" skills are all junk latin phrases that are ultimately meaningless.

>>26964906
I want to do so to show up as a legal team for Kingfisher.

>>26964906
we've decided to hire him regardless of whether we're going to try to be childish ourselves.

And I'm not opposed to the acting childish with lea as a support idea, I just have no idea how to do such a thing and cannot provide the logistics help I usually do. On you other anons for thissun.

>>26965031
Well the idea is for the whole trial to be a distraction for mage. The PE guys are secondary objectives. We want that magical location that the judge is going to be standing next to.

It's more of a concern whether Mage can do his job rather than whether we can do our jobs. We can be like this kid lawyer; a good enough distraction.

Rolled 1

>>26964906

Sure

>>26965074
oh, that part I understand. It's just the actual becoming-children thing. No idea if it will work, or how to go about it, so go nuts.

>>26965133
Well apparently it's easy. Just act like a child.

The problem we're going to have is some place like Aged or Peace. Those places could suck us in if we're not careful. It won't be a pie throwing trap, it'll be a "act like a reasonable and mature person" trap.

"Fair enough, let me check to see if we actually have any gold left. We started using these Isen things, so gold is a bit harder to actually find." You say.

"Isens?" He asks.

"New coins." Tricia says.

"Oh, cool...okay yeah. I'll take those." He gets up and puts his book under his arm. "I'm Leslie."

"Hello Leslie." Lea says. "You're very kind to be our lawyer. You're a good one, right? Smart and clever and everything?"

Leslie puff himself up and nods. "Yep!"

"Well then we're in good hands." Mari says.

Leslie blushes.

"So, how do things usually go in there? We're sort of hoping to get that old baldy off of whatever dumbass thing he's doing." You ask.

"Eh...it depends on what kind of court you get and if it's a boy-boy judge, a girl-girl judge, or a girl-who's-like-a-boy judge." Leslie says. "Also depends if it's a REAL kid or the Not-Reallys." He motions for you to follow him and you go inside the Courthouse. "You'll see when we're inside."

Instantly, you're facing down a room of kids in piecemeal armor with crossbows held incorrectly.

Leslie holds up his hands. "These are my clients and they're with me, so by the terms of ipso facto sayso, and bogus mentus. They're not guilty, and umm here with me."

The kids lower their weapons and make a path.

Leslie pauses. "Uhh, where are the spies being tried?"

"Which one?" A 'bailiff' asks. "The bald guy, the girl, or the guy?"

Leslie looks at you. "Umm...the bald guy?"

The bailiff shakes his head. "There's only witness room left, unless you wanna fight for the honor of being his defense lawyer guy. There's a lot of competition, everyone wants to make sure he's REALLY guilty."

"Okay, so main room then?" Leslie asks

"Yeah."

"Okay, thanks." He walks on with you all following. "Sorry about that, wanna try the smaller courts? Those usually just have rats or pigs as defense lawyers. I think we could bump them out of the way."

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>>26965165
>Leslie

If there's a Professor Fate, I'll die laughing.

>>26965165
"I was hoping they'd be all tried as a group, having to stop three seperate trials is going to be troublesome.
How do the defense attorney fights usually go? I would sort of feel like I was cheating, If it was actual fighting, and I only like doing that on purpose."
"Because we might have to be their defense team. All of them."

>>26965234
Seconding this

>>26965165
"Isn't it a better idea to try them all at once? If one person is guilter than the others, then they'll all have to be found just as guilty as the guiltiest one there."

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>Lamia Child Quest 92
>92

at this point, just make a book.

>>26965253
You can blame the dice for ensuring this thing would last longer back when we fought Peace.

IIRC Echo expects this to last till 150 or so.

>>26965248
Really like this as well

If we're going to try for the childishness plan, we need to start setting up for that now. No idea how to do that, other than our standard joking and arguing. Maybe the kidbattle will clear things up a little.

>>26965299
actually, I think it'd make a fair decent book with proper editing and some changes.

>>26965367
It's obvious that this kid lawyer isn't the most trustworthy person ever. We'll need to help him, as a kid or as an adult, if we are going to win.

I really like the idea of Tricia pulling a huge centipede out of her robe if the clown tries anything funny. Nothing distracts a child like a giant bug. Seriously. That clown needs to be shut down at every opportunity.

>>26965299
>IIRC Echo expects this to last till 150 or so.
We are NOT getting that high. If need be, I'll pull the plug and do a synopsis.

>>26965248
"I was hoping that they'd all be tried as a group. Isn't it a better idea to try them all at once? If one person is guilter than the others, then they'll all have to be found just as guilty as the guiltiest one there." You say.

"Yeah, but not everyone gets to have the fun of being the judge." Leslie says. "And well, it's whoever has the badge."

"So, is it actual fighting?" You ask.

"Nah, that's no way to prove that you're a good lawyer." Leslie says. "Maybe a little shoving, or arm wrestling, a twist-burn or two, but the best way to show that you can be a good lawyer is to prove that you're the smartest and toughest. Nobody wants a crybaby as a lawyer. One tear, and off comes the badge!" He smiles. "I'm great at opening arguments and insults." He frowns. "Anyone who has to PUNCH their way to being a lawyer, probably isn't very good. Especially since you can't punch Judges or Prosecutors without Penalty."

>>26965253
But it would be too long, Anon.

>>26965461
"Tell me about these judges and prosecutors."

>>26965445
>bugs
>ultimate kiddistraction
I don't know, I think that would probably be Tricia's stash of unspeakably sweet things. Or cool fighting. But the bug IS a strong distraction, I agree.

>>26965461
"One tear gets people kicked out? Do tears of fear count? Also is spitting a penalizing offense?"

>>26965461
"So the goal is to nab the badge without crying and without having to punch a guy to do it?
Do the judges get badges? Can I just get theirs?"

>>26965520
We -are- a good spitter.

>>26965558
>>26965520
>spitting
>"NERF SNAKE LADY! SNAKE LADY OP!"

>>26965581
their shouting only gives us open mouths to spit black into.

They can't argue when they can't move

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>>26965605
And all they can do is cry! It's almost unfair!

I am a bit leery about childhood poison usage. Sedation should really not be as easy as it is for us.

>>26965653
Plus we kinda ran into problems with it once before... arguably a situation which Echo responded with "Just as planned."

He knew we'd use black at the dinner party. He knows we'll use black here.

>>26965681
i think our problem is dosage, too much kills the actual kids and too little doesn't work on the not!kids.

We need to advise our lawyer before spitting

>>26965712
Maybe we should just play fair. I'm sure accusations of cheating will fly. Nobody likes a cheater.

>>26965740
but but but we LOVE to cheat!
We could challenge the kids to a cheating contest, but those always end in blood.

>>26965740
people who accuse us of cheating are just crybabies who we can keep spitting on till they can't move or cry

>>26965461
"Has there ever been an adult defense attorney? Or judge?"

Let's see how tough the waters we're wading are.

>>26965756
But it might be kids on the sidelines who do this. They never had or no longer had a stake in the matter, so they can bitch about a game they aren't playing to their heart's content.

>>26965796
I actually kinda doubt they've had an entire legal team for someone.

>>26965816
Nobody cares about them

"So the goal is to nab the badge without crying and without having to punch a guy to do it?"

"Eh, it gets a bit more complicated than that...but...yeah. That's the basics of it. Things can change according to what laws are in effect."

"Do the judges get badges? Can I just get theirs?" You ask.

"No, the judges have their gavel, and no one takes a judge's gavel." Leslie says. "You GET a gavel, and then you get to be a judge."

"Well who gives the gavels?" Tricia asks.

Leslie shrugs. "Dunno, just the kids who are the best lawyers sometimes show up, banging their gavels and making laws. If it's a real gavel, then their laws are real. If not...then we can break the laws, and then usually break the liar." He grins. "I'm hoping for a gavel of my own soon, but ummm...it's hard. I've lost a few cases and my temper."

"The name?" Mage asks.

"Yeah. Don't...don't start on how it's a fine name, or how you know cool people named Leslie. It's still a girl's name...or my name. But, I'll get better and I come back twice as mean anyway." He says with a grin. "I know eight different ways to insult a girl's teeth, and twenty-nine dick insults for boys." He shrugs. "I know my legal portfolio isn't the best, but I'm one of the few actual kids here. It's HARD when a Not-Kid starts spouting off a dictionary they didn't REALLY read at this age!"

>>26965939
So, badge or gavel?

Ask what are some of the laws going around right now.

>>26965939
"Yeah, competing with them must be tough, I've learned all sorts of tricks since I was young. Know what makes someone a not-kid like that? Where they come from, and all that. Oh, and is there a list of laws somewhere? That might be handy."

This walk to the kingfisher is taking a while. Are we just sort of waiting outside the door?

Also, I'm just waiting for those not-kids to show up with pies at the least opporotune time.

>>26965939
"I think you're the first person I've met named Leslie. I got a few more questions though. Can you tell who is and isn't a kid on sight? What laws are in effect? Can I spit on people? Does scaring people into tears count?"

>>26966046
I agree with these questions.

>>26966057
they're good questions. We have a lot of questions, hope leslie doesn't mind. Got a whole kangaroo court legal system to learn.

>>26966106
Oh yeah. And with kids making the rules, you never know what we'll be facing. We might have to all stand on our heads for all we know.

And that must be hard for Ssen to do.

>>26966130
Or really easy, if we're allowed to grab something with our foot.

"Yeah, you're the first person I've met named Leslie, competing with them must be tough. I've learned all sorts of tricks since I was young, though." You say.

"How long are these halls?" Mage asks. "We've had to have made at least three left turns...we should be walking in circles."

"I don't think geography can be trusted to be standard in here." Lea says. "No windows, no clocks."

"Great." Peri says. "That's just great."

You continue your questions to Leslie. "Do you know what makes someone a not-kid like that? Can you tell who is and isn't a kid on sight? What laws are in effect? Can I spit on people? Does scaring people into tears count?"

"Dunno; yeah, cause they act stupid and they're all blurry where their heads are supposed to be; depends on the judge, what room you're in, if it's day or night, and if it's cool or funny for the law to be in effect; I guess, I spit on people, they'll spit back or swing at you though; and yeah, I scared my way into a win a while ago." Leslie pauses and frowns. "How long ago WAS that?"

"Leslie, how long has it been since you became a lawyer?" Lea asks.

"Dunno. I mean...yeah. That's weird. I mean it's...I never really thought of that." He looks around. "I mean, I've seen the sun come up and go down, but...sometimes it's really fast, and some days the afternoon just lasts forever..." He looks at you, concern on his face. "Something's wrong, isn't it?"

>>26966318
"Yes, but it could be worse. You should see War. I owe some people for what they went through in War."

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>>26966130
It's going to be like Calvin Ball isnt it?

>>26966318
"Oh yeah, way wrong. There's all kinds of magic crap making this happen. We've already been to war-citadel, snow-citadel, and a citadel I can't mention to kids. Time seems to be wonky with 'em.
We're working on unraveling all of this so things go back to normal. And stopping some folks who want to abuse the crazy magic stuff. The situation is more complicated than that of course, wars and such going on outside, but I don't want to talk so much I miss the trial."

>>26966417
I hope so. I love Calvinball.

>>26966417
signs point to yes.

>>26966318
>"Something's wrong, isn't it?"
Yes, but don't worry about it too much right now. Unless you know who's in charge of all the judges, in which case we might be able to take a shortcut and win all the cases at once!

>>26966318
"Yeah. Wouldn't the not-kids seem to point to that? Something is rotten in the City of Citadel."

Hmm. If the NOT-kids liked riding us, and kids think not-kids act like idiots...


Will the genuine kids give much of a shit about a ride?

>>26966596
Depends on the kid. Leslie is too professional for it to work, but the average kid who is caught up in the fun of Youth wouldn't be able to pass it up.

It won't work on the judges, though. They'll be having too much fun bossing people around.

Deliver news to child. Hope he's able to take it well.
You never know with kids.

"Oh yeah, way wrong. There's all kinds of magic crap making this happen. We've already been to war-citadel, snow-citadel, and a citadel I can't mention to kids. Time seems to be wonky with 'em.

"We're working on unraveling all of this so things go back to normal. But that's for us to worry about, not you. Unless you know who's in charge of all the judges, in which case we might be able to take a shortcut and win all the cases at once!"

Leslie fidgets. "He's not here. The Headmaster stays at the school."

"Headmaster?" Tricia asks.

"Well, we...the real kids...figure that he's the one who runs things, makes sure there's new food, that messes get cleaned up, and sends the Bad Kids away. Everyone tries to be every job...but no one's trying to upset the HEadmaster over at the school." He stops at a door. "Here's a trial for one of the smaller spies."

He opens the door. It looks like there's been an explosion of paper. Shreds and pages fill the air, and there's a faint smell of fried pork. You see a Phoenix Empire woman, who you've never seen before, strapped to a chair, facing a corner. She's bound and gagged with an amazing amount of ropes and overly complicated looking knots.

A dunce cap is on her head.

"Up, looks like we were a little late." Leslie says.

He goes up and taps a kid who's throwing around the paper. "How long is she in 'jail' for?"

"Uhhh, that much." The 'kid' points at an hourglass on a table. It's about three-fourths empty, but the amount of sand that's gone already...judging by the rate of sand falling...she's had to have been sitting there, trussed up like that, for hours. Her hands are pale and near blue.

{I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BRATS!} She screams through her gag. Phoenix Tongue translates rather easily through a gag. Funny. Either way it looks like she can't turn her head away from the corner.

>>26966790
Break the hourglass.

>>26966790
"{Hey little bird, Need some help?}"

>>26966790
"Are we allowed to adjust her ropes? They're a teensy bit too tight I think. Making her grumpy."

>>26966790
"You know, this isn't the worst sentence. A lot better than all that talk of executions I heard."

Track the fried pork smell, now that I think about it.

Because wait, what?
Excuse the moderate samefaggotry.

>>26966991
Yeah. Where is that coming from?

>>26966991
Seconding this, human flesh has such rumored properties

>>26967014
>rumored
It tastes like pork. I don't think it smells like it.

{Hey little bird, Need some help?} You ask.

A noise of someone trying to talk around a cloth gag. {Cai? Memai? Is that you? I can't turn my head, magic or these ropes.} She hasn't seen who you are yet. {Get me out of here, these little shits have the Master and Wakari!}

"Are we allowed to adjust her ropes? They may be too tight, making her grumpy." You ask.

The 'kid' playing in the mass of papers shrugs. It's obvious that he doesn't care anymore. He's having fun.

{Wait...who are you? Memai can't speak Citadel, and Cai doesn't use Noble Song. Who are you?} The woman asks.

>>26967052
Laugh for a moment. "Oh, you'll find out in a second. Your name first."

>>26967052
"{The Paladin Serpent. Now who are you little bird?}"

>>26967098
No, she might freak out if she finds that out. We need to know if she's on the nice list or the naughty list.

>>26967052
loosten up her arms a bit. They really shouldn't be blue. Get Lea to help, to ensure you only loosten and don't release.

{Oh, you know, just a snake in the grass. Nice to meetcha.}

>>26967052
I am the Serpent that Eats the Cage and Spares the Nightingale.

>>26967121
That should totally be Ssen's PE name.

>>26967121
needs to be in pe tongue

>>26967152
nah, it's more dragon-y than phoenix-y.

>>26967112
she's tied up. Wouldn't getting her to freak out be the ideal method of finding out if she is on the good/bad list?

Perhaps not tell her directly, but flick the tail at her while we're loosening up her binds maybe.

Voting this >>26967255
with a combination of >>26967118 and >>26967073

Also, Echo, what do you plan to do after this quest finishes?

What is the good/bad list anyway? I swore I had the list of names, but I can't find them anymore.

>>26967052
{Teo-Has I presume? Well, you know me, I think. We haven't met, but you do have orders about it. Which is why I'm not letting you up just yet, just helping a little.}
I had to take a minute to use reasoning to figure out which one it is by which one she was not.

>>26967318
he said he's hanging up his quest hat for a while.

I hope he comes back later with a new one.

>>26967325
teo-has and wakari are suicidally loyal to kingfisher, do, memai, cai, and sun are the ones we might work with.

This one is Teo-Has, and will freak out, but that is fine. We can just free kingfisher and get her orders changed.

>>26967374
I do too. I'mma miss this when it's gone.

>>26967325
From Q91, post 26908942

"Alright, so can you tell which birds are which? I'd rather gather up all the spies before I take on Kingfisher. You guys think he'll owe me more for rounding you all up?" You ask the others.

"There's four more of us." Cai says. "You remember Dao. She's the one with the crystal staff. Then there's Memai, Teo-Has, and Wakari. And Kingfisher and the Herons."

{Dao and Memai you can mildly trust, they're as 'corrupt' as we are. Teo-Has and Wakari will obey Kingfisher even if he ordered them to slit his throats.} Sun says. You translate for the others.

>>26967374
Same here. This entire quest has been a masterpiece.

Rolled 6

>>26967121
I second this.

Rolled 9

>>26967052
>these little shits have the Master

Wait, missed this first time through. The kids have Kingfisher.

>>26967409
So she's not Dao or Memai, which means she's either Teo Has or Wakari.

So she's loyal. So basically fuck her.

>>26967052
{Oh, just the new defense attorney for kingfisher. Or I will be at least, if things go according to plan. Can't have anyone dying in citadel if I can help it.}

You notice that there's the remains of what look like a set of ribs on one of the table. Huh, must have been a REALLY bad defense. {I'm just another snake in the grass. You'll find out in a second. Your name first.} You say.

{I'm not saying a word.} She snaps. {Untie me!}

{Teo-Has then, I presume?} You say.

Her back stiffens. {Oh...YOU.}

You laugh some more. {I suppose you DO know me, and I know about your orders regarding me. Which is why I'm not letting you up just yet, just helping a little.}

You look at the mass of knots and ropes that make up her restraints. Knots on top of knots that are tied within knots...lets see if you can find the end of any of this.

Roll 1d20

>>26967052
'{If you don't want my help, I'll just...walk out of here.}'

To Leslie 'Who is their Lawyer?'

Rolled 15

>>26967476

>>26967460
not fuck her entirely. Just we have to play to her loyalty of kingfisher. Which means we can't use her too much right now, unless it's directly related to kingfisher freeing, and she'll still stab us.

So, leave here until we get the fisher.
The other one the kids have is memai though, so she might be friendly.

Rolled 20

>>26967476

Rolled 6

>>26967476
"Lea, come here and give me a hand, this is more your speed"

>>26967502
Okay then

>>26967502
Leviathan brain in action, I see.

>>26967476
Why are not following the one who untangles the Gordian knot? By this I mean Cut the ropes Peri.

Rolled 20

>>26967513
What, and waste the 20?

>>26967513
because we only want to loosen the knots a little.

Also because apparently leviathan brain just sort of unties gordian knots with little fuss.

>>26967460
>So she's loyal. So basically fuck her.


BAD PALADIN

SIT IN THE CORNER

>>26967476
So Echo, can we take her along for the ride while tied?

>>26967535
I think we could tie her to our back

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>>26967502
>master knot untier
As expected of Ssen.

>>26967535
We should bring the hourglass too, so as to know when to free her.
Ask the kid if he minds.

>>26967502
>accidentally tighten the knots in all the right places
>turns out Teo-Has is indo BDSM

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>>26967502
>Disapproving Paladin Glare

>the knots untie themselves

>>26967525
Sure, seem to have plenty of them.

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>>26967578

>>26967552
>>26967601
I dunno, I think a lot of this might be lea-support in action.

>>26967535
She want's to get off Ssen Patrick's wild ride

If one of Kingfisher's lackies is in here, maybe the big man himself is too.

Should we be so lucky.

>>26967667
oh, he is. He certainly is. Probably one of the next rooms.

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>>26967578
>Nat 20 on Rope Use

>Lea's face when

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>>26967689

>>26967689
Oh please, we're living rope.

You look and then you see her hands...and you don't touch a damn thing.

Her hands are limp, and nearly blue, so are her wrists.

{Can you feel this?} You ask as you sharply poke her wrist.

{No...why?} She asks.

It's not that you can't untie her, it's just that if you did, she'd most likely fall down dead before she left this room.

Maybe Mari knows the precise term for it, but you know from Father's lessons in combat, that if blood stays still in the body for too long, it can go bad. If it's released into the heart suddenly, that can be possibly fatal. It's even worse if there's magic involved as well. Father had a prisoner die on him like that, and he's never forgotten or failed to pass down that lesson.

"Oh...oh no." Lea says. She sees it too. "Oh dear. What are we going to do?" She looks at the hourglass. "When that time runs out, the magic holding her in place is going to stop. She'll get herself out."

{What? What's going on? What are you talking about?} Teo-Has asks.

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>>26967701
>instinctual snake knot knowledge on getting yourself out of knots

Rolled 6

>>26967709

{Your blood has gone bad. We can't untie you or you'll die}

>>26967709
"{You might just lose your wingtips. Unless you starting singing.}"

>>26967709
{Your arms seem to not have... ANY blood going through 'em. It's probably dangerous to untie you now.
Sadly, I've only heard of that happening, not how to fix it. Give me a moment to consult with our team's doctor. Oh, and your opinion on such matters as your arms possibly being full of dead blood.}

>>26967709
"{How fond are you of your hands? I'd assume you are, so I'm going to find some way to untie you without killing you or amputating your fingers.}"

Would draining the hands of blood work?

>Cosgrove is familiar with Shineiz's work as well.
If not, this isn't the first time he's accidently into /d/ territory.

oh, I forgot to say

"Tricia, get over here. I hope you've seen something like this. Maybe like an animal trap gone bad or something."

>>26967823
Eh, I dunno how effective that would be. It's likely not just the hands but much of the arms and we cant drain those without untying her... well maybe.
Leeches anyone?

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>>26967865
>accidentally

>>26967975
tricia doesn't do leeches.

>>26968000
She could do mosquitos or horse flies. Anything that sucks out blood would work.

Plus they'd have an anti-coagulant.

>>26968022
yeah, I was just bustin' your balls, that could work.

The arms still might be fucked though, even if we do get the blood outta there. Watch for gangrene.

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>>26967865
>>26967996
Should I dump some awesome lamia kid pics I found a few hours ago, btw?

>>26968057
nah, no need, this aint a picturedump. Maybe after the thread is done.
Also I saw that thread, I think you might have some of my collection now. Kudos!

>>26967709
If safe, untie her slowly. If not, drain blood w/ tricia's help + healing.

>>26968077
There were some awesome pics there, thanks for dumping and posting a dropbox for them.
>>26967709
Also, we MAY want to do this quickly, as the others might die soon as well.

>>26968095
we've GOT healing potions.
I wonder if there's enough trollishness in there to deal with this.

>>26968117
oh, that was the other guy, I was an auxillary dumper.
Or I'm thinking of another thread.
Either way, I agree, do this quickly.

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So the plan is a swarm of bloodsucking creatures + healing potions.

"{If you hate us even more for what we're about to do, I won't blame you. But it's better than dying by being tied up or losing your hands entirely. Just... don't pay attention to the buzzing sound. Or how itchy it's going to be.}"

>>26968177
Poor poor Teo

>>26968177
yep. This is about the size of it.

Get the OK from tricia and lea first, because this might be a stupid idea.

{Your arms seem to not have... ANY blood going through 'em. It's probably dangerous to untie you now.

{Sadly, I've only heard of that happening, not how to fix it. Give me a moment to consult with our team's doctor. Oh, and your opinion on such matters as your arms possibly being full of dead blood.}

Teo-Has scoffs. {Really? Again?} She gives a huff of irritation. {I am getting so sick of that happening. Hang on.}

You hear some rather disconcerting pops and her shoulders slump. {Alright. Now, you can untie me...actually hold on...}

Another pop and her waists twists oddly. {No sense in taking undue risks, as master says. Now, can you pull my limbs free, please?}

>>26968401
{Only if you tell me how that's actually going to, uh... keep you from dying. And I'm just loosening you up a bit, we'll untie you once we save the kingfisher. Or the time is up, I guess.}

Rolled 14

>>26968401

Huh, she just self-dislocated. Does dislocation stop bloodflow? If so, untie her.

>>26968401
Okay, woah, shit. Either A she's about to fucking die or B she's got some kind of immunity to that problem.
Like being undead but that seems unlikely.

>>26968401
I don't want to waste any more time with her. Either suck out the blood or leave her there.

"Oh, my blood's clotted from the restraints? Hold on, let me just DISLOCATE MY FUCKING ARMS"

Teo's a hardcore bitch

>>26968480
the plan is to loosen up the binds if we can to prevent such thread in the future. You know, make things a bit easier on her. Then getting the fuck over to kingfisher, or the other spy. whichever is in the worst straits.

>>26968401
{"Now now little bird. You're one of the real loyal ones, what says this isn't your suicide ticket? I must warn you, the citadel will take your soul here."}

{Only if you tell me how that's actually going to, uh... keep you from dying. And I'm just loosening you up a bit, we'll untie you once we save the kingfisher. Or the time is up, I guess.} You say.

There's a pause. {Master's in the grand hall, follow the red tiles. Don't worry about me or Wakari. I'll be fine when the spell is over. Thanks for the tip. I owe you, it would have been horrific if I had to replace my arms again. But, I'm not important, you need to help save my master. Go.}

>>26968556
{"What happened to Wakari?"}

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>>26968556
>master's in the grand hall

"{Well, if you insist you'll be alright... I'll go save him. But I hope you aren't lying to me. He's in over his head and will need you if he's going to come out of this alive.}"

>>26968556
{Er, well, if whatever you did helped, then I guess I'll be off. Can't have any of you folk dying in here, citadel makes claim on anyone who does.}

"Okay Leslie, this one looks like she's going to be fine. Assuming she's not lying. Take me to the next one- I hope the baldy hasn't been sentenced yet."

I am assuming kingfisher is the baldie.

Rolled 1

>>26968556

{I'm a paladin, I have to worry about Wakari too.}

>>26968626
I told you that pressing the "I'm saving kingfisher" button was the way to go.

>>26968631
ooh, I like this one. Throw it in there somewhere.

Rolled 79

>>26968626
Needs more puns

"{I hope you don't have any trouble while I'm tied up taking care of Kingfisher. Feel free to call if you find yourself in a bind."}

>>26968672
The only one who is good with rope puns is Sideways.

>>26968672
This

and >>26968631

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>>26968556
>replace her arms again.
Oh boy, we've found another weirdo.

{What happened to Wakari?} You ask.

{What?}

{I'm a paladin, I have to worry about him.} You say.

{Pfft. That bastard left me hung out to dry! We get pulled in here, he then immediately pleads guilty, and says he'll turn in evidence against me! Little brats sentenced him to 'washing dishes' and then I had to deal with a pig for a advocate...and then I had to deal with my advocate becoming the court's lunch! I HATE this place SO much.}

>>26968746
"{So Wakari's the snitch. Noted. Don't die. Kingfisher needs you. Be back after I save him.}"

You know, Tricia could actually be really scary.


http://parahumans.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/1-1/

>>26968746
"{Guess that's a loose end tied up. I'll go get Kingfisher out of his bind then we'll see about making sure you all get out here squeaky clean"}

>>26968746
{I've been hating Citadel since before it was cool.}

{I'm going to see about getting Wakari along the way. I know you can appreciate taking care of "loose ends"...}

Rolled 3

>>26968820
I am sick and tired of these motherfucking puns in this motherfucking thread.

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>>26968820

>>26968820
use this. Puns are the way to go.

>>26968846
where the fuck do you think we are?
>>26968866
Hush you

Rolled 3

>>26968884
>Not getting the joke

{Guess that's a loose end tied up. I'll go get Kingfisher out of his bind then we'll see about making sure you all get out here squeaky clean.} You say.

It takes a moment, and then you hear Teo-Has sound visibly ill.

{Oh dear sweet nest mother, it's worse than Cai said it would be...ugh, I'm going to be ill. Just go...please.}

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>>26968811
She's more cute than scary.
>>26968820
"{Guess that's a loose end tied up. I'll go get Kingfisher out of his bind then we'll see about making sure you all get out of the Hangmans noose."}

>>26968922
I had to refer to Wakari's punishment too

Can we all please agree to be 100% professional around Kingfisher. Making fun of his minions is permissible, but not with the guy we want to convince to give up his plans to soul rape everyone.

Rolled 9

>>26968922

I actually read what anon linked to. He's talking about her powerset being scary, not Tricia specifically.

>>26968912
{Yeah sure, see you soon. Maybe your timer will be up before the trial is over. Who knows.}

"Welp, apparently this has happened to her before, and she's fine. let's go grab kingfisher so we can untie her without fear of knives. Apparently the other one got off with a sentence of doing the dishes."

>>26968973
I thought we wanted to be friends with him.

Besides he owes us a favor and even more for saving his little spies

>>26968942
Well, he's currently in some hot water. But I'm sure he'll clean up his act!

>>26969006
We do, but you're thinking of the wrong type of friend. He'll respect us if we show him we're an intellectual equal who care about his dream just as much as he does.

If we convince him there's a better way, that's when we'll become friends.

>>26968973
we're not going to make fun of him, but I can't promise no joking, puns, or wordplay.

>>26969086
You give him clever wordplay, and he'll appreciate it. You give him puns and he'll look at you like you're Dane Cook.

Rolled 19

>>26968973

No promises.

>>26969086
We'll save the Pun Storm if we have to fight him. Remember that he's NOT some flunky that sees they're expendable (I'll try to help with the eloquence, but...).

>>26969121
What about taking similar-sounding words in both languages and using them for full-contact, high-speed, cross-lingual punning?

>>26969121
He deserves some punishment for flaking out on that kid

"Well, apparently this has happened to her before, and she's fine. let's go grab Kingfisher so we can untie her without fear of knives. Apparently the other one got off with a sentence of doing the dishes." You say as you lead your group out of the room.

"Ick." Tricia sticks out her tongue. "Hated dish night."

"Is that why you always change chores with me?" Mage asks.

"I hate that dish soap we use. More so now than before. It's not like good proper soap with animal fat traces. It's flaky and scummy and made up of scum of other soaps." She sticks out her tongue. "It's some of the nastiest stuff found on the planet."

"Ssen, do you know where we're going?" Peri asks.

You point at the red tiles.

"Umm...oh!" Leslie says. His face goes red. "The color thing...right. Sorry. I don't use those."

"You have trouble sometimes with colors?" Lea asks.

He nods.

Lea squeezes his shoulder. "That's fine. We've known plenty of people like that. We know someone who's dating a King who's like that."

"Really?"

"Yep." Mari says. "Minotaurs have color issues too, no big deal."

He smiles and blushes again. "You're really smart." He says.

You can tell it's Mari that's blushing now.

Rolled 5

>>26969212
>You can tell it's Mari that's blushing now.

Oi, not in Peri's body.

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>>26969212
Give her a thumbs up. "I always took you for a Leslie kind of girl."

>>26969212
"Huh, I didn't know that. I guess I'm not the only one with weird eyes.

Oh, and the soap could be worse. I mean, I've smelled some fruity kinds, and that was just awful."

>>26969260
"Oi!" You smack Mari in the shoulder with your tail. "Not in Peri's body." You shoot her a grin. "But I did always take you for a Leslie kind of girl."

"It doesn't matter WHAT kind she is! Not until you and I have had a talk young lady!" Peri snaps. Then she grins. "But dear me girl, I'm in your head and THAT'S the stuff that makes you go red? Oh, I have MUCH to teach you my little co-lich-queen."

"Huh?" Leslie asks confused.

Lea pats him on the shoulder. "It's a very long story, and slightly confusing. Plus it has to deal with the dirty minds of elven women with no morals."

"Hey! I'll have you know that I don't have a LACK of morals, I just actively IGNORE them!" Peri says.

"I'm confused." Leslie says.

"Welcome to being a guy in the Dawnchasers kid." Mage says. "Anyway, back to the trial, any advice kid?"

"Umm...well...there's only three judges today. If she got sent to time-out, and he got sent to dishes then that means that it was Emily and Rad-Brad who were trying those cases." Leslie shakes his head. "Yeah, he makes us call him Rad-Brad...it's stupid, but he's a Not-Kid."

"Okay, so who's the last judge then?" Mari asks.

"He a Not-Kid or a Kid?" Mage asks.

"Umm...oh." He pauses. "Umm, I don't wanna go inside that courtroom if Gus is the judge. He's a jerk."

>>26969212
Boy likes brown elves.

He's obviously more mature than most kids. Still, better be careful there Mari/Peri.

>>26969477
"I'm bigger and I can be scarier. You'll be fine.

He allows spitting right? Cus I can spit people into not being able to move for a while."

>>26969477
"Oh, why's one always have to be a jerk.
Look, is there any way I could get you to go in with me and give a hand? Or, at least, can you tell me what he does that's jerkish?"

Rolled 10

>>26969525
Seconding

I wonder if Kingfisher has been assigned an animal for legal counsel already and if so it be something we could eat whole.

Cus that might be fun.

>>26969582
also I'm pretty sure we've not eaten in a while...

>>26969582
>"Sup Kingfisher, see you're having legal trouble."
>swallow pig whole
>"There we go. Now, if there are no objections, I'd like a few minutes with my client alone."

>>26969608
Um, we're trying NOT to eat raw flesh. It's one of those corrupting influences. That said, good idea besides the obvious problem with it.

>>26969582
>>26969608
How embarrassing!

>>26969582
>Kingfishers lawyer is a kingfisher

>Eat it in one swallow in front of him and the court

>I will be representing Mr. Fisher. Any objections?

>>26969632
I'm more objecting to the actual problems with eating something the size of a pig. Also the embarrassment, I am already forseeing the "eat like a pig" remarks brewing.

>>26969692
Who cares? It will save us when we go to Fall of Feasts. We cannot be hungry when we go there.

>>26969692
I did say if it was something we could eat whole

>>26969608
Have you seen a snake swallowing something whole? It's not an instant thing. It can take hours.

So it'd just be a really, really uncomfortable two hours for everyone involved, as Ssen slowly dislocates her entire body. Maybe a few people will vomit, or start lightly sobbing.

>>26969769
We apparently ate an entire wolf pretty fast.

"Oh, why's one always have to be a jerk?

"Look, is there any way I could get you to go in with me and give a hand? Or, at least, can you tell me what he does that's jerkish?" You ask.

"He's big, and a bully, and he gets bored and likes throwing things at people." Leslie says. "Also, he's a judge and changes the rules constantly. Anyone who ever comes close to doing something he doesn't like he just bangs on his gavel and poof! They get sent away. Most of the time they just end up in the lake and covered in tar and feathers...and once with clown make-up." He sighs. "He's a kid, like me. But he's honestly worse than the fakers."

>>26969692
We swallowed a wolf once when we were a child. We're a lot bigger now.

How about this, we'll keep the option of eating it open depending on how big it is.

don't worry, apparently there's competition over who gets to be the defense lawyer, which means no animals, which means no need to worry about embarrassing eating habits.

>>26969645
>>26969692
>>26969712
So, remember. Eating live animals/people will corrupt us into a citadel-controlled being.

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Captcha: picture of someone's house, possibly from one of those google street view cars.

>>26969800
We puked it up afterwards. It'll corrupt us, Granny has said this explicitly.

>>26969815
not actually, it was much more of a wishy-washy don't go nuts on what you eat kind of talk, not a never do this or you'll be opening a door to citadel kind.

>>26969815
>>26969833
Was it eating things whole, or live things, or intelligent beings? Because we're never eating any PEOPLE whole, that's for damn sure.

>>26969878
It's acting like an animal more then acting like a person. A person will not eat a pig raw and uncooked while it's still alive, for example

>>26969878
it was, specifically, "You should probably stick to the food on your plate". More just general advice than anything else.

Okay, here's what we do: if it's an animal lawyer, we spear the thing and have Mage roast it on a fire.

If it's not an animal lawyer, we hope those meat pies are going to be delivered soon.

>>26969894
s'fine if we break the thing's neck first though. The reason we threw up originally was because the thing was alive, and that was horrible.

>>26969790
"I'm bigger, I'm big enough to make grown ups scared."

"I'm bigger, I'm big enough to make grown ups scared." You say.

"Gus is too stupid and mean to be scared." Leslie says. "Everyone knows that he didn't REALLY earn his gavel. He stole it, and it worked for him." Leslie frowns. "And then he was a jerk to Tiff. All she wanted was to find her mommy and dad."

>>26970003
.... if he stole it then we can steal it back. just gotta use quickquick.

>>26970003
"Sounds like a perfect candidate for my 'Spit them in the face so hard they faint' technique"

Rolled 17

>>26970003
Well then, even more reason to set this Gus straight.

>>26970003
"what happened to tiff? And can he do anything without his gavel?"

We should get in there after a few more questions, time is of the essence I guess.

>>26970072
Yeah, but let's enter the room first. Enough chatting with Leslie, let's become Kingfisher's lawyer and start the trial.

>>26970095
we SHOULD get in there soon, I agree.

"Sounds like a perfect candidate for my 'Spit them in the face so hard they faint' technique." You say. "But, what happened to Tiff? And can he do anything without his gavel?"

Leslie shrugs. "I'm sorry. I don't know. I try to never be in the same court as Gus. That's why I hide outside on the steps where it's a Quiet Zone."

"It's okay Leslie." Lea says. "We'll be on your side, and right here with you." She holds the boy's hand.

Leslie takes her hand and nods at her. "Okay, those doors." He points at a large set of ornate double doors.

You open it, and it's a mob scene. In the center, chained to a raised stand s a bald Phoenix Empire man who must be the legendary Kingfisher.

He's on his knees, head covered, being pelted by rotten vegetables.

There's a small mob of boys roughhousing/wrestling with each other, all of the scrabbling over a badge. There's a girl dressed in pigtails and oversized prosecutor's robes.

At the tall judge's stand there's a kid in judge's robes. He's skinnier than you thought he would be. His hair is greasy though. Also he's got a piggy nose and a very dramatic overbite.

"New Law!" He yells. "Now the accused has to be hit by fish, and...and the defendants can't use their hands! Grab the badge with your feet...and the floor is greasy!"

He laughs as Kingfishes is splattered with foul smelling fish guts, and all the defendants-to-be all fall on their asses.

"He's such a jerk." Leslie says.

Rolled 12

>>26970406

So, should we go for the gavel or defend Kingfisher from the fish?

>>26970406
"Yeah, He does seem that way a bit. This is just mean."

Grab the badge with your tail with ease. Hands are for suckers. Also I would say use clang to defend against the fish, but then I remembered what happened to clang.

lets sneak over there and grab his gavel.

>>26970406
{I guess you really are the kingFISHer now? Sorry couldnt help that one.}

>>26970508
we've not considered how these children caught the kingfisher. They could catch us if we do something similar.

Who knows how.

>>26970406
"Lea, there's some days I hate being a Paladin. I mean its a clear shot from here with a bow, the kid isnt that small a target."

>>26970508
This. Use the whole scene as a distraction. We need to give that gavel to Leslie.

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>>26970406
Poor Kingfisher. All he wants to do is prevent his civilization from collapsing.

Grab a badge with Ssen's tail.

>>26970511
No! Can't you tell he's being humiliated already!

>>26970538
and become a god and make all living beings his slaves

>>26970406
I wonder can we get Tricia to get some lice in his hair or some mosquitos on him, so when he's distracted from the scratching we can take his gavel.

going with grabbing a badge

>>26970566
Think of things from his point of view. He believes he's doing us a favor. He isn't, but I know he has everyone's best intentions at heart. We just need to make him see how terrible his plan is.

>>26970591
possibly. I want to see if we can legitimately do this at all.

Jesus, why are you pelting this man with vegetables and fish guts? Not even the good fish guts either. This is the cheap shit.

>>26970607
you know he is pretty much notasian hitler

>>26970618
>Ssen: refuse to try to lick Kingfisher clean by justifying it with poor quality fish guts

>>26970537
"Lea, there's some days I hate being a Paladin. I mean its a clear shot from here with a bow, the kid isnt that small a target." You say.

"It is a duty that can be quite a weight." Lea says. "So, are you going to try and steal the gavel, or do you want Peri/Mari to try and you be the distraction?"

>>26970660
>Someone suggesting a paladin lick fish guts off of someone.
Did we just get a pack of trolls in here who can't ignore threads in the Catalog?

>>26970710
but I wouldn't pelt anyone with fish guts, not even hitler. Not even the cheap stuff.

I keep my fish guts.

>>26970708
"Peri/Mari is a better thief, Tricia can distract him better. I gotta talk to Kingfisher and get a badge."

>>26970730
We've not eaten in some time and we're a creature is suppose to eat big meals with long digestion periods.

>>26970708
"I dunno. If I'm stealing the gavel, I need a wig. A curly white wig."

If we are wearing the wig, yoink the gavel, and go "Order! Order! Order in the court!" we might steal the court powers.

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>>26970708
Definately PeriMari.

We make a big production of being the Kingfisher's most hated enemy. Maybe taunt him, even though he has been embarrassed enough.

Poor Kingfisher. Let's unleash the biggest flurry of puns we can manage.

>>26970771
either way, the joke was that Ssen could tell the difference between the good fish guts and the bad fish guts. Like she has experience with them or something.

>>26970708
Peri/mari will go for the steal, Ssen and Tricia can be the distractions. Tricia will get that kid itchy so he has both hands busy and Ssen can do for the surprise factor.

>>26970708
"We'll have peri and meri do it. I'll go for that badge and be the defense lawyer. Mage will use his stalking spell and sneakily find that spike. Tricia and lea, you're kidleverage. Hopefully, one of these will work."

>>26970833
Yes! We do the bug bite trick again!

>>26970853
maybe with like, fleas instead. the bugbite was... bloody.

>>26970708
And this is why you always carry trick arrows.

where are the pie-arrow and plunger-arrows when you need them

>>26970956
Yeah, of course. It's a fantasy world, so I'm sure there are bugs with bites far itchier than a regular mosquito.

Rolled 17

>>26970708

I'll be the distraction.

*Get a badge with our tail*

"If I'm stealing the gavel, I need a wig. A curly white wig." You say. "But since, I don't have one, and Peri/Mari's a better thief anyway. I'm going to get that badge, go talk to Kingfisher. Tricia, Mage, Lea you're on distraction duty. Leslie...get ready to put out some justice."

"Huh?"

"Don't worry kid." Mage says. "You're part of a Dawnchaser plan, that means keep your eyes open, your mind sharp, and hang on to the crazy snake lady's tail for dear life if she bolts for it."

You slither down through the gallery onto the courtroom floor. Heh, greasy floor, the feeling of your arms pinned to your side...as if that's a problem at all.

Still it's not a total cakewalk to get the badge. It is a messy kid-brawl of flailing limbs and over sized defense advocate robes.

Roll 3d20 to hit a challenge. It's a give you'll get the damn thing, it's just a matter of how quickly you get it, and how soon Gus notices you above Mage's sparks, and Tricia's lightning bug swarm.

Rolled 18, 2, 16 = 36

>>26971019

Rolled 4, 12, 20 = 36

>>26971019
Rollan

Rolled 12, 2, 20 = 34

>>26971019
No one ever said pimpin' would be easy...

Rolled 2, 10, 1 = 13

>>26971019
haha, your laws work against you children. My feet can pick things up!

>>26971040
>>26971046
Meh

Rolled 15, 5, 20 = 40

>>26971019

Rolled 5, 2, 3 = 10

>>26971048
But it's necessary so I'm chasing spies like Tom chases Jerry

>>26971040
>>26971046
>>26971048

not terrible.

Rolled 5, 14, 17 = 36

>>26971095
You have much to learn about the way of the pimp.

I like mage's helpful advice for the kid. It's weird being the backup semi-vehicle.

>>26971040
>>26971046
"What the fuck?" Gus yells as Mage and Tricia's distractions go off.

You streak across the floor and your tail wraps around the badge at the same moment you hear.

"Your honor! There's a monster in the courtroom!" The 'prosecution' says, pointing at you.

"Really? Oh, wicked!" He says. "A Lamia! Oh wow, she's really ho-"

"A-HEM!" The Procescution says.

"Uhh, I mean, for a snake thing." He says. "Oh look look! She got the defense badge!"

"YOU said I could improve my score by beating one of the BOYS!" The girl pouts.

"Aww, come on...wouldn't this be funny? You could be the first lawyer to ever beat a lamia in court!" Gus says. "Kerri, it'll be great!"

"You better make a law about her hair. Fast. Or we're not going out after!"

"Oh, sure sure! New Law, all Lamia's hair must be scraggly, greasy, filled with pond scum, and...and smell!"

BANG!

You gingerly touch your head and pull your hand away sticky.

Oh...these kids are dead.

>>26971386
>He fucked with our hair
>Last person to fuck with our hair was a Dramatae, one who we melted.
Its fucking on.

>>26971386
I am trying to formulate some way to object to the hair thing.

"Objection your honor, the law says it should be scraggly, greasy, and pond scummy, but it's quite obviously Grangly, sticky, and mossy.

Your gavel must be on the fritz and should be repaired before proceeding further."

>>26971386
>sticky

Oh God... that being said, I think goading him might make for a better distraction.

Get right up to his girlfriend and shake our hair so it's all over her.

>>26971386
We should get tricia to help fuck up the gf's hair

It's revenge

>>26971619
I'm just hoping it washes out. Actually, better idea.

>>26971386
Turn the acid on in your palms, and wipe it through your hair. Should clear up that stuff a little.

"Well, that was unpleasant. I'll be doing the defense, your honor. Llamia Lawlady, lawyer."

"Objection your honor, the law says it should be scraggly, greasy, and pond scummy, but it's quite obviously Grangly, sticky, and mossy.

"Your gavel must be on the fritz and should be repaired before proceeding further." You say.

Kerri and Gus just gape at you for a moment.

"Let me skip this next part. YES! SHE CAN TALK!" Tricia yells from back in the gallery. You see the others taking their seats. Lesile is trying, very conspicuously, to be unseen. There's no sign of Peri/Mari.

{And my nightmare is now complete.} Kingfisher says.

>>26971688
{Kingfisher, what's wrong? I usually win.}

>>26971688
{Don't worry, I've got this case in the bag. Do you happen to know what the charges are? That might be helpful.}

>>26971688
{Good, because my Nightmare could use some company.}