>>27034668

"TTTIIISSS AAA FFFAAAIIIRRR PPPOOOIIINNNTTT III SSSUUUPPPOOOSSSEEE!!!" Mr. Glub acknowledges. "LLLIIITTTLLLEEE MMMOOORRRTTTAAALLL TTTYYYPPPEEESSS DDDOOO TTTEEENNNDDD TTTOOO DDDOOO TTTHHHEEE WWWHHHOOOLLLEEE GGGIIIBBBBBBEEERRRIIINNNGGG TTTHHHIIINNNGGG WWWHHHEEENNN III'MMM AAARRROOOUUUNNNDDD. SSSEEEEEE YYYOOOUUU AAARRROOOUUUNNNDDD MMMAAATTTEEEYYY!!!"

You are passed from one tentacle to another, bounced along like some maddened and non-Euclidean slip and slide as the proud creature of the deeps moves you right along back to your boat. You are depositted on you chair rather unceremoniously, and with a wave of one of his many tentacles, the Squid bids you adieu.

You're still a bit wet, you think. You...
>Live with it. The worst that will come of it is a cold.
>Ask Hermione if she knows any charms that can dry out clothes.
>Attempt to kill the wetness with your Knife. Or the spear that never stopped being a thing.
>[OTHER]

File: 1378357225030.gif-(2.55 MB, 320x180, What Could Possibly Go Wrong!.gif)

2.55 MB GIF

>>27034676
"Harry! Oh God, Harry!" Hermione exclaims, "Oh Christ, you... you were nearly -eaten- by that... that... that hideous horrible abominal tentacular -thing-! Oh sweet baby Jesus in the manger how could... how could they think to keep -that sort of thing- in a school? A school that teaches young girls how to be -magical-!"

"Actually he was pretty chill," You say, flipping up from you unceremonious landing. "In fact, I think he was a little lonely - must not be all that many lake squids for him to talk to around here. He was actually just really happy to have someone he could chat with." You grin. "Besides, no doubt if I was in any real danger, the Magical Girl Kaleido Pink would have come to save me."

Hermione turns an amusing shade of pink.

"H-h-harry!" she gasps, choking on each syllable. "Y-you should know by now. Tentacle creatures are a hard counter to Magical Girls - there was nothing that I... she would have been able to do. Not... not without being subjected to a horrifyingly gruesome counter attack."

"Fair enough, I suppose," You admit. "I'm not really all that familiar with the mechanics and rules of Magical Girls, so I'll take your word for it." You look down at your clothes, which are currently leaving a large puddle on the deck of the boat. "Would you mind holding on to Illya for a second? There's something I want to try, and I'll need a little room for it..."

Hermione nods, and you help her move Illya off of the front bench and on to Hermione's lap. You vaguely hear her mutter something about whipped cream, strawberries, nuts, and cherries - you imagine that she must be dreaming of a dessert lanf or something. She always did like her sundaes fully loaded, you recall, though for some reason her words only make Hermione turn an even brighter shade of red.

>Field too long.

>>27034676
continue

>>27034676
>>Ask Hermione if she knows any charms that can dry out clothes.

>>27034690
Hopefully, what you're about to try won't make that even worse.

Normally, you'd do this with your knife, but the more you thought about that, the less you figured it would be a viable option. Killing the wetness soaking your clothes would require a series of strikes faster than any water would be able to seep into an undried segment of your outfit. Which would require precision, speed, and self reach that your knife is ill suited for.

You pull out the baton that you have snuggly fit into your belt Wand Holster. It's a bit bigger than most wands even in its smallest form, but you're not planning to use this to perform any magic.

A twist and a spin changes its shape to the one you've had the most practice with - a simple training glaive, the dulled blade of a curved shortword sticking out of the hilt of a quarterstaff. And then you begin spinning.

>[ROLL 3d6]
>>27029450 Rolled: 6, 6, 6

>>27034676

>Ask Hermione if she knows any charms that can dry out clothes.

There was acually a lot of support for this last time.

>>27034694
late, like waaaay late

just wait for a bit, op got some coming

>>27034708
was beaten by 1

for the shenanigans

>>27034707
>Things go to hell in 3...2...1...

File: 1378357390748.jpg-(425 KB, 740x1043, Harry James Potter 3.jpg)

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Your eyes are on the ball.

It is not an abuse of your powers, you think, to use them in a way that shows them to have a mundane utility. To fulfill your origin, in which you are The Death of Things, in such a way that no one and no thing of any significance comes to irreversible harm. Indeed, it is commendable that you have found such an outlet! Most who succumb to a violent origin do so in a violent manner, selfishly burdening others with the brunt of their impulses. To have such mastery over death, and the impulse to bring it into the world, to be able to direct it in a manner that could even be called "constructive" - such self restraint is praiseworthy!

Unfortunate, then, that your control over your "self" is not matched by your control over your "body". It would be an injustice to say that your natural talent with any of the three spears - Hasta, Verutum, and Lancea - was anything but prodigious. But talent is not training, and "self" control is not self-control; a desire to show off in front of your girls your friends is not something that a young boy can easily douse. Not when he sees that there is no harm - not when he can make the mundane into something truly -special-.

And you are, of course, a young boy.

You snap into the first standing form that Mr. Kiritsugu taught to you for pole weapons - a formation variant on the fifth flowing spear-form, translated from Latin as "Adder Nips the Fox". In and of itself it is a flashy set of maneuvers, meant as a bone thrown to impatient novices and the bread and butter of the Arena Lancers. You arms whirl around like fickle winds, the Hasta in your arms whipping about like a windmill caught in a tornado.

>Field too long

>>27034707
OH BOY. HERE WE GO.

>>27034668
For anyone coming in late: the start of this thread is a repost of a derailed thread...

>>27034707
... and this roll was terrifyingly legitimate.

>>27034719
By two, and then the vote swung the other way after he stopped counting.

Fucking HUEfags, I swear.

The motion, for all its swirls and flashiness, is something that you have practiced for hours on end, as punishment when you did not perform to Mr. Kiritsugu's expectations. The moments are remembered and precise, easy enough to adjust to the dancing Lines of the water that weighs down your robes.

But this is not enough, of course. Your boyish pride demands that you do something -more- than this dull, boring maneuver that you have done a thousand times over. You may well be taken, but something deep down within the pit of yourself demands that you ensure that by the end of your tenure at Hogwarts, every single heterosexual female in the school will be -jealous- of Illya for having such an amazingly awesome boyfriend.

Your clothes are now dry. The dangerous part of this is over; no more risk of cutting any of your own lines with a slip of the hand. With a wild spinning flourish, you twist around, gently rocking the boat, and reposition your footing into that of the flowing form "Heron Slaughters Eel", a more advanced variation on "Adder Nips the Fox".

Unfortunately, there are several things that you forgot to take into account.

First! Heron Slaughters Eel was meant to be used by a half naked gladiator, and thus its body hugging spins are less then practical when wearing a robe!

Second! You are on a boat with minimal space, turning towards a pair of girls whom are either seasick, or believe that your spear spinning shenanigans are an absurdity of the highest order! More importantly - they are moving and so is the ground which you stand on!

Third! You cannot turn off your Mystic Eyes of Death Perception! Not without replacing your pair of Mystic Eye Killers, which you did not have time to do!

>Field. Too. LONG!

>>27034748
These unaccounted factors collide the moment that a wave ripples against the boat, sending a slight shock to your foot that causes you to misstep. You lose control over your spear for a little more than half a second, during which it arcs over the length of the boat, tearing through a series of lines near your female compatriots that your eyes had filed away as "Not directly causal to the death of any living thing." Then, as you bring the spear back under your control, you short sell the distance between its edge and your armpit, causing it to rip through a set of superficial lines floating around your self.

You do however, -nail- the landing.

Of course, your robes - as well as Hermione's, Anne's, and Illya's - all blow up into a thousand pieces of cloth.

You...
>Continue on as if that didn't happen. Because really, there's no way it could have.
>Hastily take a seat and avert your eyes from the girls.
>Make a joke about spare robes and hope that they actually brought some.
>[OTHER]

File: 1378357591927.jpg-(70 KB, 546x701, Harry James Potter, Age 12.jpg)

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Harry James Potter

[ATTRIBUTES]

[4] Strength - D+ "You're a wiry lad, built for speed more than strength."
[9] Agility - A "You're fast on your feet and quick with your reflexes"
[6] Endurance - C+ "You're cousin's made sure you can take a beating."
[8] Intelligence - B+ "You're no genius, but you're smarter than most."
[7] Luck - B "You've got better luck than most."
[9] Circuit Quality (CQ) - A [13 Prana per Circuit]
[8] Circuit Quantity (CC) - B+ [26 Circuits, one of which has been opened]

Magic Circuits Open - 4/26
Prana Available - 52/52
Wounds - 0/6

[SKILLRATINGS]

[11] Academics (Mundane) [INT] - D
[10] Academics (Magecraft) [INT] - E+
[9 (11)] Academics (Wizarding) [INT] - E (D)
[13] Acrobatics [AGI] - D+
[10] Athletics [END] - D+
[13] Capioera [AGI] - D+
[13] Cooking [AGI] - D+
[10] Craft (Mystic Codes) [INT] - E+
[11] Discernment - D
[10] Mystic Eye Lore [LCK] - D
[10] Origin Magic [CQ] - E
[11] Reinforcement [CQ] - E+
[12] Stealth [AGI] - D
[9] Wandlore [CQ] - F

[TRAITS]

Spiteful - Your stealth rating increases by 2 when you're out for revenge.
Compassionate - Your healing spells cure one additional wound.

[PERKS]

Devil's Luck - You may temporarily reduce your luck attribute by 1 step to negate a critical hit against you.

Practiced Runner - Your Athletics rating is increased by 2 when running.

Multitasker I - Multitasking penalties to skill checks are reduced by 1.

Mystic Eyes of Death Perception - You see the Death of things, and deal additional wounds when using a knife.
[LEAST] - You can discern the difference between lines of concepts and lines of objects, allowing you to choose which to cut.

Mystic Eye Focus - You've grown accustomed to the use of your [MYSTIC EYES], and have unlocked it's [LEAST] secondary power.

Parseltongue - You possess the ability to understand and speak the language spoken by snakes and certain other reptiles.

True Magic Innoculation - Penalties for True Magic vs Sanity decrease by 2.

??? - ???

>>27034755
Just ignore it and move on. Play it completely straight and say nothing.

>>27034755
so, confirmation. are we all naked? or just underpants?

>>27034755
>>Continue on as if that didn't happen. Because really, there's no way it could have.
The disrobing is a lie.

Wand of Maple and Dryad - You heal one additional wound when using Wand Magic to heal.

Spellcraft for Squibs - Up to rank B, add 1 rank to your Academics (Wizarding). Up to rank C, add 2 tanks.

The Threefold Spear - A spear that can take the form of a staff, a baton, a Hasta, a Lancea, and a Verutum.

??? - A dagger that, apparently, only you can perceive.

Mirror Phone - Your first mystic code, it is a clamshell mirror connected to a matching mirror you gave to Illya, allowing you to secretly communicate and stir up all kinds of ruckus.

MARTIN MIGGS Omnibus - Increases Fun Rating to A+.

>>27034755

YOU HUEY HUEY FUCK LOOK WHAY YOU DID!!!

>[X]Hastily take a seat and avert your eyes from the girls.

No more smiles only shame!

>>27034755
dive into the water begin a new life under the surface of the lake we have got at least one friend down there and that's more that I can say for up here

>>27034804
Naked as the day you were born.

>>27034755
>>Continue on as if that didn't happen. Because really, there's no way it could have.
It's dark right? Nothing to see at all! Hermione probably know Reparo....right?

>>27034832
No, we must be all smiles. We managed to completely miss, trip, hit the audience, and then stab ourselves, and the only thing that Died was clothing. We are damn amazing.

>>27034755

>Continue on

This didn't happen. This OBVIOUSLY didn't happen. It's silly to think it did. Those weren't shreds of cloth, that was water escaping back into the lake to avoid its own death. Clearly.

>>27034846
that is awesome, sit down as if nothing happened and look at illya

>>27034847
reparo doesnt work on things that have been killed. read the archives

>>27034847
>Reparo
>Working vs MEoDP

Protip: it doesn't. It isn't "broken," it's "dead."

>>27034847
You cannot repair the clothing, because the clothing is Dead. All that remains is fabric.

>>27034755
>>27034846
>>[OTHER]
Ok, our eyes got us into this mess; they can get us out of it! Naturally, all we need to do now is kill our own nudity!

this is a joke do not do this

>>27034755
>Hastily take a seat and avert your eyes from the girls.

Please god someone know a spell for this. PLEASE. GOD.

Also, kick ourselves for not studying Gradient Air. Even temporary clothes would be better than no clothes.

>>27034832

I don't blame you Chaos you're just the child labourer strapped to the workshop building the chemical weapons.

You didn't order them.

>>27034872
im afriad that by saying that it didnt happen, op will make it do it didnt actualy happen. but we must remain confident at all times, apologize but remain confident

>>27034878
Probably possible, but trying to kill something that abstract at this point would make our brain go kaboom.

>>27034834
this just may be our only hope at this point, or at least once Mr. Kiritsugu finds out what happened today

kissing his daughter and then being naked with her and two other girls...

If he ever finds out about this day one of two things will happen:

1. He will kill us and no one will ever find the body.
2. He will kill us and display our gruesomely mutilated body in such a way that no one ever dares approach his daughter again.

...probably number 2.

Just play it cool. Sit down, pretend nothing happened. Cross our legs, as we are no doubt not the largest in the world from our recent brush with freezing water.

...and just hope that Illya doesn't rape us.

But on the "things we should actually do" front:

>>27034755
>>Hastily take a seat and avert your eyes from the girls.
"This is not how that normally goes."

>[OTHER]
Pray we have our trunk with us so that we can go inside it and hide ourselves in shame. or get our compatriots some temporary clothes, at the very least.

>ALSO [OTHER]
Resist the urge to cover ourselves with Gil; he is a sentient being, and that would be incredibly untoward of us, as tempting as going with the wild-man look might be.

>>27034937

Kerry likes you.

You're going to get put through a lot of TRAINING. So much TRAINING that you'll wonder if you've ever really TRAINED before. Your entire body will be sore. Your bones will have been broken and healed multiple times, in many unique and painful ways. You'll learn to use that spear of yours to catch bullets, even if you're left with a few holes from practice.

And then, when it's all over, when Kerry thinks that you've grown from a lowly worm to someone who may, in time, stand a chance of being -worthy- of his daughter, you'll be given a choice.

Bite the barrel. Or buy the ring.

>>27035007
I like how he puts us through the training from hell BEFORE giving us the option to an hero.

>>27035007
Kill ourselves a tunnel through the dirt and run for it before he realizes what we just did.

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>>27034755

>Hastily take a seat and avert your eyes from the girls.

No-selling this may be the best idea.

Every second that we avoid a general panic is another second Ilya might realize now is the time for her to use magecraft to stick all those scraps of cloth back together in a vague clothes-shape. Or maybe the great hero Kaleido-Pink will show up and help.

Also, IIRC, they take the first year's luggage up to the castle separately. They don't have it with them in the boats, so hopes of a mundane solution or a quick escape into our secret trunk-hideout may be in vain.

>>27035056
>No-selling this may be the best idea.
Wouldn't that be following Gil's example and just ignoring it?

Also, I have to ask. How do the girls look in their birthday suits?

>>27035007
True enough. On the other hand, Iri will be very pleased. And will also threaten/blackmail us into marrying Illya.

>>27035007
i honestly support him forcing us to do this over winter break for what has happened and also to toughen us up a bit

>>27034755
Say the wrong thing, "I totally meant to do that!"

>>27035056
Right, Illya is still asleep.

It's cool; I figured out an adorable way to wake her up without compromising our integrity.

>[OTHER]
Call Illya discreetly on her mirror-phone while still looking away red-facedly.

"Sorry to bother you during a pleasant dream, but there's been a bit of an incident."

>>27035084
Well, underage, for one.

Ask again in several years and there might be something worth caring about.

As of now we've gained an as-of-yet unspecified amount of pain, both in the short and long term, and gained nothing.

>>27035167
Thought she woke up when we fell overboard

>>27035173
>Ask again in several years
I, for one, don't want Ilya to grow up. It's a terrible idea and I can't stand for it.

>>27035173
>Ask again in several years and there might be something worth caring about.

I'm just going to say that that guy and I probably aren't the only one who has issue with that.

And that I really don't want to derail this quest with an argument about the subtle differences between lolicon and pedophilia.

>>27035227
If she ends up looking anything like Iri, I think I can live with it.

Mostly because her always-young body was a byproduct of her being a not-gonna-live-past-25 homunculus. Which is bad. Very bad.

>>27035256
>>27035274
>>27035173

Shit. Forgot that we were first-years. MAH BAD.

>>27034755
Get robes for them. Sneak a peak if possible.

Because, seriously, Harry's just discovering girls and isn't going to just ignore this chance.

>>27035309
>Get robes for them
I don't think he carries a sewing kit.

>>27035309
To clarify, no details please. I'm talking IC only.

>>27035295
Its ok. Sometimes I forget too, we act so much older... most of the time anyway.

Probably a byproduct of Kerry's hardcore training and Irisviel's complete lack of bashfulness regarding things first years shouldn't be forced to think about.

>>27035340
There's also the fact that we're all probably older teens and twenty-somethings, and we're controlling him. OP too.

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>>27035227
You're so hopeless, anon-kun~
Eternal Youth Kit!
>Kill her and she'll never grow up.

>>27035374
NO! Bad Seihai-kun! No murdering childhood friends!

>>27035327
Oh, yeah...just panic, look, blush, look away and see if we have any robes for us.

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>>27035374
Thanks, Grail-kun!

You always have the best ideas, Grail-kun!

>>27034755
>>Continue on as if that didn't happen. Because really, there's no way it could have.
Straighten up with a flourish, "Nailed it!".

>>27035374
I don't know what to say, Sehai-kun. You've given me troubled feelings, but she's useless as a corpse, isn't she?

Is she?

File: 1378360505546.gif-(615 KB, 500x281, Yeah. That went well..gif)

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You are really tired of fate's shit today.

Honestly, honestly, you really can't bring yourself to give two and a half shits about the fact that you've just stripped yourself, your girlfriend, your newly promoted best friend, and some girl that you just met to complete nudity. You can't. You've had to deal with that ginger brat calling you evil. You had deal with a bunch of bully twats and get pressed into an older girl's boobs (not as fun as it sounds). You had to kill some psychopathic freak with a violet bloody turban when he tried to off you, Illya, and some other students. You -just- got finished having a chat with Cthulhu, who turned out to be a pretty swell bloke.

And now you're fucking naked. In front of trio of naked chicks, one of who you love dearly, one of whom is your closest non-romantic friend, and one of whom is busy trying to hide appreciative glances at said friend's now bare chest. Honestly, you can't really blame her - you had no idea that Hermione was hiding that much... confidence... under those baggy sweaters she like to wear.

Give her a few years, and she might even come to rival the Head Girl.

But no. You don't give any fucks right now, because all the fucks that you have to give have been given to more important causes at the moment. So you do as you would, and calmly carry about your business, not really paying much attention to that fact that everyone on your boat is naked. At least you don't have to deal with having wet clothes anymore, that would be a fucking pain in the arse.

"H-harry..." Hermione chokes out. "What did you -do-?"

You turn around.

"I dried myself off, and then put on a little show with my spear," you state succintly, turning around to talk to her. And no. You really don't care about any possible innuendo that could be derived from that. "I figured that you gals might find it cool."

>Field too long.

>>27035544
"Wh-what!" Hermione keeps her voice down, as she -really- doesn't want to draw anyone's attention. Her face - and yes, that's where you're looking - turns a bright, bright red in the pale moonlight. "You thought... what!"

"And then, completely on accident, I killed our clothes," you finish. "Whoops!"

"Whoops?" she asks. "Whoops? WHOOPS? You... you... you saw... you -saw-..."

"I saw too!" Anne points out happily.

"You're a girl, you don't count," Hermione snaps.

"Awww..."

"Yes, I saw," you say, "And we're what, eleven. We're not even supposed to think of each other in that sort of way until we're at least thirteen and have all of those mid to late teenage hormones flowing through us." You shudder. "And then apparently we're supposed to do stuff with ropes and ball gags and I -really- wish I didn't miss that section of health class."

"So what are we supposed to do when we land?" Hermione asks, covering herself with her arms.

"Oh, I know!" Anne pipes in. "We decided to go skinny dipping with the giant squid, and lost all of our clothing!"

You...
>Agree wholeheartedly to this plan of action. What could possibly go wrong?
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.
>Point out that it's a short swim to shore, and that with the ceremony going on, you could probably sneak to whereever the luggage is kept.
>[OTHER]

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

GLORIOUS ALCHEMY, PASSED DOWN THROUGH THE EINZBERN LINE FOR GENERATIONS!

>>27035554
[X] Skinny dipping with Ilya

>>27035554
Go for the swim. This can only end hilariously.

>>27035554
[Other]
Kaleido Pink is a magical girl, right? Do enough transformation sequences and there'll be enough dresses for everyone. Even if the dresses are maid outfits

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

Lets not do an amphibious commando (hue) raid on Hogwarts when we can just use perfectly good magecraft to solve the problem.

>>27035613
Do you really want us to sit through the sorting in mahou shojo lingerie?

>>27035613

You know what Huefags, have it your way.

[X] This I am past the point of caring.

But no really >Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

>>27035554
>"We decided to go skinny dipping with the giant squid, and lost all of our clothing!"
"That makes it seem like my new friend Glub is some sort of giant cephalopod pervert; so no thanks."

>>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.
"I think Illya could probably put it all back together, but she likes all sorts of complicated old-timey clothing and when she's done we'd probably all look like we came from the middle ages."

"...which is actually probably par for the course for wizard clothing, so we're good."

Time to wake Illya gently.
>>27035167

>>27035633
We'd probably insist asking for something closer to Tuxedo Mask, but still, not exactly inconspicuous.

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>>27035613
I actually like this option best, and if there isn't a clear winner by t+15 mins, I'ma go with this. Here, have a best girl.

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

>>27035633
Well, we're already going to have a reputation as a scary dude. A little casual magical crossdressing in front of hundreds of vindictive students couldn't POSSIBLY ruin our social life, right?

>>27035651
If the Kaleidostick doesn't dick us over, I guess it's an acceptable consolation prize.

>>27035666
I'm all for this.

>>27035666

This post is Satan.

Fine go ahead it's comedy quest after all.

Why am I torturing myself by staying?

>>27035554

> We are not too proud to ask Ilya for help.

R- right?

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

Hopefully Ilya won't exercise creative license with the outfits. She's got that kinda old-timey fashion sense that even Wizard children might raise an eyebrow at.

>>27035726
I bet it's more like we can't wake Ilya up.

>>27035719
>Why am I torturing myself by staying?

Because I bounce between comedy and serious business like some sort of maddened trampoline? Seriously, one/two threads ago Harry was having a mental breakdown because he just killed somebody, do you think we're going to stay in wacky rom-com territory for too long?

>>27035743
It's more like asking Ilya passes up both skinny dipping and magical girl fetish clothing.

>>27035666
As long as Harry doesn't end up in a skirt.

>>27035745

I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos, I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos, I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos, I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos, I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos, I love you Chaos, I hate you Chaos...

Please Sir may I have another?

>>27035791

He lives up to his name atleast

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.
Come on guys, we need to have at least some reputation left if we want to use it as leverage.

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.
If no, then [X] MAGICAL GIRLS REPRESENT

>>27035554
>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.
I'd like to compliment the girls on taking all this VERY much in stride.

>>27035666
Doitdoitdoit

>>27035554
Whatever we go with, we must say:
[X] "No matter what happens, NOBODY must know of this. Ever. And I'm not saying that because its embarrassing. If Illya's dad ever learns about what happened tonight he will murder me. Like, actually, for-real kill me."

>>27035613
This.

>>27035891
I never got why people said this like this. It doesn't seem very funny, just a bit stressful.

>>27035868
Well Ilya is still asleep (Jesus girl, does ANYTHING wake you up?), and I think Hermione is just getting used to our shit by now. She might also have a somewhat degraded sense of personal shame, on account of being forced to parade around in the godawful Kaleido-Pink uniform with a barely-working mental redirection enchantment.

Rolled 77

>>27035666
No. Just alchemy up some new dope ass robes.

>>27035924
>barely-working
Even people who don't know who she is will come to understand that she is very specifically 『Not Hermione』. In other words, it basically tells them exactly who it is.

>>27035989
Which is obviously Zel's intention.

>>27035989
Something just occurred to me...

If she puts one of her magical girl outfits on someone else, will it retain the 『Not Hermione』 effect?

Because at that point it becomes not only effective, but downright misleading. Not in any way that benefits poor Hermione of course.

>>27035909

Really, I think it's more in the delivery of the line, though I can understand where you're coming from. And, let's face it, text just doesn't quite express some subtleties of words well at times, such as sarcasm.

>>27036024
It does benefit us when people look at us parading around in whatever shit costume Kaleidostick is about to gives us and only see 『Not Hermione』, but I assume the effect wouldn't work if you actually witnessed the donning of the costume.

>>27036024
>Illya goes full-Irisviel while being "Not Hermione." The next day...

Rolled 42

>>27035554
>>Point out that Illya's alchemy could remake all of the clothes.

>>27036078
Poor little Hermione is going to be not only a massive whore, but also a bipolar lunatic, before her first day. She needs it, though; at this rate, I don't think she can really catch up to us in the race to insanity.

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"N-no!" Hermione stutters. "N-no! No one else -sees- anything. We... we either find a way to -fix- this, or, or, or we dive out right now and we sneak into the castle and get our trunks!"

"Awww..."

You give Hermione a look.

"Oh no," you drawl. "If only there were some sort of Magical Girl, like Kaleido Pink, nearby, who had the power of magical transformation sequences that instantly changed her outfits. Then we would be able to get away with our modesty intact, even if the raw frilliness of the granted outfits would prevent us from escaping with our dignity."

Hermione snorts.

"Even if some sort of hypothetical magical girl were around," she says, "She wouldn't necessarily be able to provide all that much help. First, there's the matter of Kaleido Pink's secret identity remaining intact, which would be destroyed the moment she revealed herself."

"Hermione," you say, "The 'irrecognition amplifier' built in to the Kaleidostick broadcasts 'Kaleido Pink is most definitely not Her-"

"SECONDLY," Hermione interrupts, "Her Magic Wand - the Kaleidostick - is not conductive to assisting one in preserving their modesty. It... always constructs outfits with 20% less skin coverage than normal... stupid perverted stick."

"Fair enough," you say. "Illya!"

At the sound of your voice calling her name, Illya springs awake from her nap - a sunny smile on her face and not a care in the world that she hasn't a stitch on her. She looks around a bit, and a mischevious grin splits her head in two - for a moment, just a moment, you think you can see her sprouting devil horns. And a heart-spaded tail that's wiggling -indecently-.

"Ohohoho~" Illya says. "Did you all strip down for me~? You're too kind!"

"No," You state.

"Nuts," she pouts, "Are we all at least getting ready to -get to know one another- in -that- sort of way?"

"No."

"Double nuts," her pout turns into a frown. "Naked cuddling, then?"

"NO!" This time it's Hermione.

>Field too long.

>>27036152

"Triple nuts," she looks at the floor, noting all the tattered remnants of the clothing. "Let me guess. Harry decided to show off with that spear he likes to play with, and managed to hit you all with it. This of course ruined everyone's clothes, and you need me to use my alchemy to fix it."

You palm your face. You're -certain- that that was intentional.

"Okay, I'll do it," She states. "On one condition."

You..
>Ask her what the one condition is.
>Ask her to just fix the clothing, it's getting windy.
>Ask her to direct all requests at Hermione instead of you.
>[OTHER]

>>27036160
Tell her that if it's Hermione has to go in as a mahou shojo, we're way ahead of her.

>>27036160
>>Ask her what the one condition is.
OPERATION: DEAL WITH THE adorable DEVIL IS A GO

>>27036160
Sure thing, but all prices are payed evenly by all involved.

>>27036160
>Ask her what the one condition is.

I GUARANTEE Kerry taught us never to enter in to any undefined contract.

SHOW ME THE FINE PRINT, LITTLE SHE-DEVIL!

>>27036160
"Anything for you. Well, anything that doesn't reasonably destroy my reputation in the proccess. Amy worse than it already is, at least."

>>27035651
Dost thou think the there be a man stupid enough in this earth whom hath the nerve to insult the carb of the esteemed house Atreides?

>>27036160
>>>Ask her what the one condition is.

>>27036160
>Ask her what the one condition is.

>>27035666
Well you do have a good taste in best notes

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"What's the condition?" You ask.

You dread the answer. Illya was a very apt and quick student of her father's legalesse, and had come into the habit of wording any agreement she puts down on paper with much the same terminology and loopholes Mr. Kiritsugu put into any Geass he wrote. Which was to say, the contracts were all extraordinarily one sided, and had a thousand different ways for her to escape from actually having to settle her side of the account. And, of course, a hundred different ways with which she could reneg.

At least she doesn't have access to any paper here. She's no where near as good at talking her way out of her spoken obligations as she is at writing herself fifty different loopholes.

"All you have to do..." She claps her hands, and touches the side of the boat. The pale green glow of alchemy works its magecraft, and from the wood she pulls a scroll of parchment. Fully inked parchment, the wording of which she shows off with a happy grin. "... is sign this! And all your worries regarding silly nudity taboos will disappear, and your clothes will be remade!"

You take a very close look at the wording, just to be sure; and you are surprised at how -extremely straightforward the contract is.-

>Field too long.

>>27036510


===ILLYA'S CONTRACT===

BE IT THAT the signatories of this contract will fulfill their obligations as defined within the following paragraphs in a timely manner, all parties shall be held to this agreement.

ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN, in return for PAYMENT, which shall be defined in the following paragraph, will render SERVICES to the parties of HERMIONE GRANGER, HARRY JAMES POTTER, and ANNE CHOI. SERVICES shall be defined as the repair and/or remaking of the articles of clothing destroyed by HARRY POTTER in a SPEAR TWIRLING ACCIDENT. SERVICES shall be rendered with sufficient time before coming to port that the parties will not be in violation of cultural nudity taboos upon rejoining their fellow classmates.

HARRY JAMES POTTER, in return for SERVICES rendered, shall provide the party of ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN with PAYMENT for said SERVICES no later than 8:30 AM of the day after ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN's sixteenth birthday. PAYMENT shall be defined as the mutual end to both parties' virginities, to take place within any one of the following locations: a Bed belonging to either party, a Bed belonging to one of either party's roommates, a Locked Broom Closet, an Unlocked Broom Closet, the Gryffindor Common Room, the Hufflepuff Common Room, the Slytherin Common Room, the Ravenclaw Common Room, any location on the Hogwarts Grounds, any location within the Forbidden Forest, an abandoned hallway, an occupied hallway, the Great Hall, or any other location deemed suitable by both parties.

======

You...
>Agree to these terms and conditions.
>Disagree to these terms and conditions.
>Point out that if Mr. Kiritsugu sees this document, he is not going to be pleased.
>[OTHER]

>>27036519
>Point out that if Mr. Kiritsugu sees this document, he is not going to be pleased...while signing the document.

>>27036519
Why is she so hung up on the school?

>>27036554
Because anywhere else and her dad's assistant will be stalking them armed with a tranq rifle.

>>27036519

We it could be so much worse, sign up lads we're not gonna get a better deal than this one.

>>27036551

Agree with this, but complain that we are the only one who has to provide payment

>>27036551
>>27036568
>Entering into a Geas

I know it's Ilya, but this had "bad idea" written All OVER IT. In fact, the fact that it IS Ilya makes it WORSE.

>>27036519
{Other}
Remind her that it prevents any hanky panky before her sixteenth birthday and remind here what half her nationality is and how they roll with child hood friends, Then finaly remind her that if Kerry saw this he would throw you both in to a forest and have Maiya snipe you with paintball rounds for a full week until he deems you learned your lesson.

>>27036519
Well, it does mean that we can't get laid with any other girl until we get it on with Illya.
>>27036554
She is something of an exhibitionist if her locations are anything to go by.

>>27036568

> Non-lethal weapon
Hahaha

Unless they are going to beat us to death with it.

>>27036519
Agreed. We'll hold off until sixth year, but it's a contract that benefits us without any detriment.

Tell her this is the most obnoxious suggestion she's ever made and that Kerry can never find out. Specifically, I'm still not convinced by Hermione's arguments.

>>27036600

Fuck phone posting fuck it right in the ass, ment to reply to>>27036563

>>27036614
Actually, and I looked this up, Ilya's birthday is in May, so she'd turn 16 at the end of our fifth year.

>>27036582
Oh, yes, good idea. We shouldn't pay Mione's way on this.

>>27036614
>We'll hold off until sixth year
All it says is that it has to happen by her sixteenth. It can be cashed out at any point between now and then.

>>27036519

>Look deadpan at Illya raise one eyebrow slowly, then calmly sign and don't say a word.

>>27036600
>Unless they are going to beat us to death with it.
No, we're just woken up by a bucket of water over the head tied to a chair in a cold room, clad only in our underwear and with a bag over our heads.

>>27036647
I meant by choice, to minimize creepiness for readers. Earlier is fine as long as Kiri doesn't find out, IC.

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>>27036519

>pokerface.jpeg

"You do realize, aside from me not knowing how to lose virginity, that Kiritsugu will likely belt our hides raw if he happens to see this. Oh, who am I kidding, he wouldn't do that...he'd do worse."

Sign anyway.

>>27036585
>>27036614
For what it's worth, it's worded as "no later than 8:30 AM of the day after ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN's sixteenth birthday" rather than "no later than 8:30 AM ON the day after ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN's sixteenth birthday".

The latter means it has to take place on the day listed, while the former means it just can't happen AFTER the stipulated time. Any time before that is acceptable by the terms as they stand right now.

>>27036660
The worst part is that waking up in that position doesn't exactly rule out it being Illya deciding to cash in early.

After all, Iri's tutelage was QUITE thorough.

>>27036702
Don't actually specify the terms. That way, we can coerce the other two in doing us favors in return for the unspecified payment we had to offer forth.

>>27036519
>Point out that if Mr. Kiritsugu sees this document, he is not going to be pleased.
But...
>Agree to these terms and conditions.

Oh jesus I'm laughing so hard at those terms and conditions...

Kerry taught her well, even if he never intended these skills to be misused in such a manner.

>>27036723
Excellent idea.

>>27036585
This. Perhaps suggest alternative wording?

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"Illya..."

You don't even know where to begin on this girl. Between the precise nature of the payment for services rendered (do guys even have one of those? In a less than abstract manner, you mean.), the various locations that Illya has deemed it acceptable to cash in, you are left somehow dumbstruck. It really doesn't help the way that Illya is positively -preening-, as just because the offer stands to restore all clothes to previous conditions doesn't mean that anyone is any less naked.

It's god damned distracting, that's what it is. Especially when the thoughts of how much rope you would need to tie her - AND HOLY SMOKES NO. NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. ENDING THAT LINE OF THOUGHT RIGHT NOW. Bad brain, bad brain, god damnit brain you're not even twelve! You're not supposed to be thinking of your girlfriend that way just yet - it's supposed to be hugs and kisses and cuddles and none of that icky terible stuff.

-Why does Illya like all that icky terrible stuff, damnit!?-

"Illya, you realize that if your father ever finds out that I signed this, he's going to kill me, right?" You point out. "And then you won't ever get your... payment. Wow. Seriously, isn't this supposed to be the other way around?"

"Harry," Illya sighs, "Do you really think that I'm stupid enough not to burn this the moment you sign it? Like hell am I letting papa know about my designs on you, for both of our sakes."

"That's... good, I suppose."

>Field too long.

>>27036947

You sign the contract. Your fate is sealed - you won't be forgiven if you hand in your V Card to anyone but Illya now. The contract is burnt to ash, followed by a quick clapping, and a restoration of all of your robes back to their pre-death states. Everyone is quite pleased that the awkward ordeal is over, except for Illya, but she didn't seem to find it all that awkward. You're so relieved that you hardly pay attention to the old crone lady's speech about the Sorting, and nearly bump into this posh looking blonde fellow.

>Oh, sorry about that, wasn't looking where I was going.
>Jesus Christ where the hell did you come from?
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
>[OTHER]

>>27036960
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

>>27036960
That kind of ̶h̶a̶i̶r̶ ̶g̶e̶l̶ arrogance is nearly unmistakable. Ask him if he knows us.

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>>27036960

>Jesus Christ where the hell did you come from?

I imagine we're still out of sorts after signing that contract

>Gone to catch some Z's
>Thread's archived here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27034668/

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>>27036960
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Malfoy? Who's Malfoy?

(Hilariously, isnt Illya older then Shirou? Who is 16/17 in FSN? Arry' yer gonna get statuary raped! )

>>27037062
We're like a good number of years before that point in the timeline. She is actually the same age as us right now.

>>27037062
It's been only 3 years since Grail War Four ended with Arturia wishing for a Redo, Kerry wishing for Irisviel to return to life, and Gilgamesh successfully wooing Arturia.

Things are different, yo.

>>27037044
I hope so.

>>27037062

Actually, Illya's pretty much the same age as Harry in this setting, thanks to Kiritsugu pretty much saying "Ah, fuck my ideals" and being a good husband to Irisivel. Also, the Gilgamesh in this war turned out to be Prototype Gil, who it turns out was a bro, and wound up banging Arthuria. So yeah, Kiritsugu more or less wished to retcon Saber into Saber Lily, Queen of all of Britain. Guess it helped that Angra Manyuu wasn't in the cup this time around.

>>27037094
>Gilgamesh successfully wooing Arturia

...This quest...

Well at least Shinji isn't the hero of the story.

>>27037163
Actually, that was Saber's wish, not Kerry's.

I figure Gil taught her the pleasures of being a woman.

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>>27037094
>Gilgamesh successfully wooing Arturia
>>27037173
>Well at least Shinji isn't the hero of the story.

I can't actually decide which is the more distasteful option

>>27037173
It was that stated that it was Fate:Prototype's gil instead of the asshole we all know and love or love to hate

>>27037239
Again, this Gilgamesh was MUCH MUCH MUCH less of a bastard.

We should have pointed out that she is rendering free services to Hermione and Anne and that she should include them in the payment.

Oh well, too late now.

>>27037094
Kotomine never went full rejoice if i recall, does that mean we may see Caren around

>>27037253
I didn't want to bring it up but I'm pretty sure there are a lot of problems with that that just switching out to Prototype Gil doesn't really cover.

Besides, Shinji is a tragic character, and he deserves a chance to shine.

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Well really, all Gilgamesh had to do to get into Seiba's pants was...well, not treat her like an object. He can be a really cool guy when he wants to be.

>>27037296
Guys we've been over this.

As in, your points have actually been brought up before in an earlier thread. Please don't make "But Proto-Gil and Arturia can't get together!" the new "But Origins don't lead to MEoDP", please and thank you.

>>27037296
I'm pretty sure this isn't a Corrupted Grail either. Nero's roundabout explanation of the last war should be in the archives from before he abandoned the quest.

>>27037296
>Besides, Shinji is a tragic character, and he deserves a chance to shine.

Pour gasoline on him and light it then!

>>27037337
Topic dropped, I will return to lurking in the shadows.

So are Illya and her mother this lewd in the original materials?

When Illya first learned the things that she learned in the Health Class she seemed to be horrified and shocked, now, just few months later she's totally changed her mind about that. Why? Did she have some extra 'Health' lessons with her mother or something? Did she hit puberty already?

>>27037361
>So are Illya and her mother this lewd in the original materials?

Illya didnt mind telling Berserker to rape Saber if he wants to, after he cut her limbs off. It never happened but it does show that she is aware of whats what and that she's a sociopathic little monster

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>>27037361
Ilya could get pretty lewd. Lewd Iri was mostly fanon, though. Maybe Carnival Canon at worst.

>>27037173
It was ProtoGil. ProtoGil still has an ego the size of PLANETS, but he has a basic understanding of tact.

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>>27037253
Ah, so a not-jerk Gil treats Seibah with love and respect and is rewarded for his efforts.
That kind of tale really touches the heart.

>>27037253
And much less fun.

>>27037361
The whole bit about being horrified was a joke stretched thin.

>>27037386
Gil always had massive Charisma, though. There's a difference between apathy and ignorance.

>>27037387
I know what that pic is without even having to click it anon. You are a terrible person.

>>27037361
Maybe her homonculus ancestral memory is getting worse as she ages. By the time Harry fulfills the contract, Ilya will probably reminisce about the gold old days exploring Shinto with Saber.

Maybe the characterizations have been slowly becoming more and more caricaturish as the quest continues.

>>27037323
>"Apparently Gil's personality is heavily influenced by the era he's summoned into. He was a jerk in FSN because the world (his property) was being sullied by the consumption society of the early 2000s, which rubbed him the wrong way. He's taken a liking to the virtual world of 2032, though, so his personality is more stable and closer to how he actually was in life. Wada says he reminds her a little of Hollow Ataraxia Gil."
>This hero, from the beginning to the end dictated only "himself." His loves are treasures, tools; people were only things that would disappear.
>...Even if he recognizes how much it deserves to be loved.

>>27037400
Ah, but is it from the VN or from the movie?

>>27037410
Source on all this? I was always under the impression that Gil was such an asshole because of the tainted Grail, which also explains why all of his other appearances are so much nicer.

>>27037361
Ilya in Fate/Stay Night was a complete and utter sociopath. A cute one, but a sociopath nonetheless.

We don't have all that much on Iri beyond her relatively limited screentime in F/Z, but its safe to assume she's at least mildly insane by human standards. She's an Einzbern Homunculus after all.

>>27037415
>>27037400
>>27037387
Alright, I've helped the derail along enough, time to get back to the quest. Apologies, Nrvnqsr.
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

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>>27037410
>This hero, from the beginning to the end dictated only "himself." His loves are treasures, tools; people were only things that would disappear.
>...Even if he recognizes how much it deserves to be loved.
...Goddamn. Dat emotional scarring.

>>27037424
Fate/Extra CCC. He's totally fucking awesome in it, to the point where he says to the Moon Cell "Fuck your shit" and takes the protagonist to space with him to have awesome adventures.

>>27037433
She wasn't a sociopath, she was just a bit twisted. She obviously felt betrayal at Kerry's abrupt disappearance, felt a familial bond with Shirou after getting to know him, and cared about Bahsaka.

>>27037437
He's gone for the night. As long as we don't burn through the remaining 120-ish posts until the bump limit before he comes back in the morning, we can get off on whatever tangent we want.

>>27037439
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGPg3bq-5ZI
Gilgamesh da best.

>>27037424
The tainted grail never corrupted him; it can't. It's just that Gil got to gauge just how rotten mankind had become from his stint inside of it.

>>27037439
CCC has in-game comments about the difference between it's Gilgamesh, the Gilgamesh from F/SN, and the Gilgamesh from F/HA? Who said those obviously out of character lines and where?

>>27037466
I mean that the Gil summoned by Tokiomi was a bigger asshole because he was summoned via a tainted Grail. Like how the Grail allowed things like Assassin and Rider to be summoned in the fifth war.

>>27037492
But anon, regardless of the war, rider is always the best servant.

>>27036960
>Jesus Christ where the hell did you come from?

Oh hey guys just got home, how's the thread goiOH BLOODY HELL.

Eleven years old and already the perfect model of a professional Magus. Good job Ilya, you've made your ancestors proud. Why bother with all the normal teenage romance shit when you can just strongarm Harry into a binding geas by threatening to withhold vital services? And pulling it off five years preemptively no less.

So, does this mean we won't waste time chasing after every skirt that swishes by?

>>27037466
Yeah, his goal was to burn away the lazy, corrupt lifestyle that humanity had fallen into by forcing hardship upon them.

>>27037492
No, modern society just pissed him off to no end. He was basically in a constant state of irritation during Zero/SN.

>>27037474
The bit about the difference between the versions was from an interview. The bit about how he feels that people will only disappear was from his Secret Garden.

>>27037535
I saw no exclusivity clause in the agreement. As long as we don't lose our virginity to anyone that isn't Ilya we're good.

>>27037552
Do blowjobs count?

>>27037424
>why all his other appearances are so much nicer

He pumps you full of swords several times in CCC if you say the wrong thing. His mini-game practically consists of him killing you repeatedly for very little reason (and a couple of times, none at all).

He's a bigger bro in the long haul, yeah, but even FSN Gil wasn't this trigger-happy.

>>27037552
> implying this isn't routelock

>>27037424
Well, look at it from Gil's point of view. Lets just pull up a little bit of info from CCC...

>How do you spend your free time?
>Pleasure trips. (No matter what kind of age it is, I cannot cease wandering around the land. Well, I did sleep until I returned to level one though.)

In the Holy Grail War, Gilgamesh is forced to:
>Stay in one location rather than being able to wander the world freely wherever and whenever he wants
>Stay in a location that he hates (modern society)
>Forced to serve someone who's very much his lesser (Tokiomi, who's both holding a sword of Damocles above his head while excessively sucking up to him)
>Interact with people he hates (basically everyone in the city with a handful of exceptions)
>Use his incredibly precious treasures to fight mongrels

>>27037582
I could be wrong but during my playthrough of gil's route in CCC all the landmine options were very clearly rude/would offend anyone.

You're pretty right about the minigame though, he basically kills you for trying to wake him up on a saturday morning

>>27037582
>His mini-game practically consists of him killing you repeatedly for very little reason (and a couple of times, none at all).
While the first few times are basically him being an ass, after that he realizes you just come back if he kills you and does it for fun.

>>27037581
That is an excellent question that warrants investigation.

>>27037585
It isn't, at least in the sense that we have to do Ilya route and ONLY Ilya route. I'm not saying I want to be Harry Potter: Male Gigolo, but I at least want some Triumvirate of One of the option presents itself.

>Look up Gil's Fate/Extra profile
Gilgamesh

Height: 182cm
Weight: 68kg
Blood type: Unknown
Birthday: Unknown
Image Color: Gold
Talent: Golden rule
Likes: Himself, Power
Dislikes: Himself, Snakes
Natural enemy: None

>Likes and hates himself
Curious.

>>27037581
Probably should have asked that before we signed the agreement, because now thT we have I guaran-fucking-tee the answer would be yes. Even if they don't count she'll probably just lie and say they do anyway, because its not like we're going to risk breaking the contract on the off chance she's lying.

We are essentially at her mercy in that regard until the completion of the contract. Best just put it out of our minds for now and spend our brainspace on more productive stuff.

>>27037615
He hates, and loves the world. As he hates and loves himself. Gilgamesh's life, is a sad story.

>>27037610
Since it's Death and Void, then wouldn't attempted murder be the best interaction?

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Well, Blackheart, I hope you're happy. You somehow managed to derail this thread into a discussion about Gilgamesh.

>>27037607
Only with Gilgamesh could that possibly be warped into an improvement.

>>27037629
Or just fuck her as soon as possible and not have to worry about it.

To be clear, I'm not advocating that just yet. Just saying it's an option.

>>27037632
And yet has no natural enemys

Guys, if we reach the point of being able to kill Concepts before the contractual date comes up, we can kill our way out.

>>27037668
>Gilgamesh
>no natural enemies
But what of the Red Crested Faker, that mimics the treasures of the wild Gilgamesh as a part of it's predatory methods?

>>27037641
It is the habit of mongrels to discuss excellence, fool.

>>27037680
>It is the habit of mongrels to discuss excellence, cholo.
ftfy

>>27037679
He is of little concern, for how can the great king fall to imitations and forgery such a thought is blasphamy

>>27037669
>Kill the concept of illyas virginity
>Run like a madman and pray we get enough of a head start, as both kiritsugu and illya will be out for blood

>>27037680
Blackheart~ I was just rereading that first Lace thread and thinking of you

Sage for adding nothing.

>>27037615
He probably hates himself for spurring on Enkidu's death.

>>27037688
I meant kill the concept of the contract, actually.

>>27037688
If you're miffed about the contract, you could try Killing her orgasms for a bit of retribution through denial play and see what happens.

>>27037703
If we do that we need to work out how to undo killing things.

Like, practice killing the killing of something.

>>27037703
Mystic Eyes of Death Perception: the ultimate BDSM sex toy.

>>27037696
I think my idea is more amusing
Illya tries to bind us with legalise? Sure we'll honour the contract, just a other in the way you were expecting

>>27037712
We need to go deeper.

>>27037703
>>27037715
>La petite mort, French for "the little death", is an idiom and euphemism for orgasm.

>>27037712
Don't kill the overall concept, just the concept of each individual instance.

Also... can we stop talking about this? Please?

Its giving me way too many ideas.

>>27037669
>Guys, we can break Ilya's heart and ruin her trust in us if we want to waifu someone else.
>>27037610
>Guys, this doesn't mean that we can't just waifu multiple women at once, even if this is something that no eleven-year old would think of doing.
>>27037552
>Guys, we can go around the spirit of the agreement to betray Ilya.
Fuck waifuism.

Shit, the contract doesn't even have any penalty written in. We can break it if we want.

>>27037735
That was indeed what I meant, and no.

>>27037747
That's some neato hypocrisy you got goin' there, anon. Where can I get some?

Whilst we're on the concept of killing concepts, how about we kill draco's smugness? Or bellatrix's devotion?

>>27037759
>Voldemort's evil

>>27037756
Which part is hypocritical?

>>27037747
Geas contract, look it up. There is a penalty as I recall. And it isn't pleasant.

>>27037774
The part where he's bitching about waifuing, while waifuing.

>>27037759
That might still be quite a bit beyond our capabilities.

Not to mention force-modifying someone's personality is not a nice thing to be doing, even if it would make them a better person. And thats not even taking in to account the fact that spontaneously killing a part of someone's personality might cause serious psychological damage as their mind tries to figure out what the shit just happened.

>>27037785
Which kind of Geas? Celtic lore, or Nasu?

>>27037786
I don't care which girl we ended up romancing. Hell, the fact that this is even a discussion during year one is fucking retarded. It's a shame that so many quests get so wrapped up in shitty romance. It's an even bigger shame that it's so often to the complete detriment of the story and characters. Look at Fate/Stay Again. So much interesting shit going on, and most of the screentime is Shirou claiming to be putting off romantic shit while simultaneously romancing half the cast.

>>27037785
As far as I know, the only Nasu geas that gets any detail regarding it's specifics is the one between Kerry and Hot Wheels, and that one went so far as to spell out exactly what breaking it did. I don't think Rin ever explains exactly what hers with Shirou will do.

>>27037874
I just went and looked it up, apparently when Shirou attempted to go against the geas, his body literally won't move any more.

http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Geas#Geis

>>27037893
Yeah, but we don't know what exactly the terms of that geas were. Shirou just agreed to let her put a geas on him, compelling obedience for the duration of the war. They never actually wrote out or agreed to specific terms.

>>27038089
I'd presume 'obey my orders for the duration of the war'

>>27038120
Right, but we don't know what kind of penalties it incurs. The F/Z geas spells out exactly what happens if a party breaks the contract. Presumably, Cu Chulain's multiple geases didn't freeze him solid, as he was able to go on and break others. Hell, if all geases froze you as soon as you tried to break it (like Rin's did), there'd be no real need for penalties since you can't break them.

>>27038179
Well Cu's were Celtic Geasai[?] plural form of geas, anyway, which when sworn gave you powers, but when broken stripped you of said powers. I think they may strip you of all powers irrespective of where you got them.

Take this with a grain of salt mind you, I'm not an expert on Celtic lore.

>>27038202
I don't think the Nasu-verse has a separate set of geases for the Celts.

>>27038251
>Chaos
At least it's not teenage megalomanicas with a bad case of pinkeye and Lancer-grade luck.

>>27038202
So you're saying if we break the contract everyone's clothes will shatter into nothing?

>>27039091
The clothes Ilya reconstructed, yeah. At least from my understanding of said Geas, alternitavely, we'd be literally unable to not bone Ilya, as stipulated by our Geas,

>>27039158
I see no problems.

>>27036960
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

Do we know if the contract can be altered?

From a legal standpoint, mundane contracts can be changed or voided if all parties voluntarily agree to the changes.

I assume a magus wouldn't be stupid enough to make a contract that she (or he) couldn't rework if necessary, but do we actually know if this is possible?

In general, at least. Not that Ilya's going to be letting this one go.

>>27039453
Not a Geas contract. Once signed they're rather binding, otherwise what's be the point?

>>27039453
I'm sure she has a contingency to void the contract entirely if need be considering she has already upheld her part of the bargain so it stands to reason she could choose to refuse payment, but its so straightforward that I doubt she would include a way of altering the terms after the fact. Doing so would just run the risk of us coercing her into more favorable terms at a later date.

>read thread
>people blindingly go sign an LOLnasuverse geas contract
>people immediate start wondering how to get around it
face it mongrels you all are stuck with this whether or not you like this idea.

>>27039543
>>27039572

The coercion angle's a problematic one, I'm not sure how'd you get around that and still allow for a change. Normal contracts cease to be binding if everyone involved decides they don't want them to be.

A more extreme example might be if person A and B made a geas contract to help each other kill person C for C's horrible deeds against them, and then discovered that person C was framed by D. Are they permanently screwed into killing C, even if C's innocent and both A and B now have no reason or desire to kill him?

Being able to void a contract would get you out of this one, I guess. But being able to void a contract and then make a new one wouldn't be much different than rewording the existing contract, in terms of the end result.

>>27039684
Yeah, with a geas, you kill C, you get no choice, it will happen.
Geasa aren't something you're supposed to fuck around with.
Hell, was it actually a Geas, or just an ordinary contract?

>>27039684
Nope, you're screwed that tends to be how geas work. Also why do people care so much? The way these things go we could very well be dead by then. Why not y'know focus on the now as opposed to our excuse to get an arranged marriage in 5 years?

>>27039770
>The way these things go we could very well be dead by then
As if this quest will run long enough for us all to die. At the rate this quest has been going since it started, we won't even get to the Halloween troll for a few years.

>>27039748
Seems unlikely that Illya could get her hands on a real one, come to think of it. It'd be like geting her hands on a revolver - it's not something a child should be allowed to have access to, because they'd do something incredibly stupid with it.

>>27040353
You make a geas. Rin didn't even need to write hers down.

>>27036704
>no later than 8:30 AM of the day after ILLYASVIEL VON EINZBERN's sixteenth birthday

This person gets it. We essentially have a five year span to get it on. We don't need to wait for five years, we have a five year window of OPPORTUNITY.

>>27041423
Does Illya still have a short lifespan? Is that time her dying day?

>>27041692
I'm fairly sure Kerry used his Grail-wish to make her and Iri have a regular lifespan.

>>27041692
we just need that magic stone and she will be fine

>>27041716
if not long and happy ones

>>27036960
>Wait a tick, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?

So I vote two things on that Geas.

1. We meet the terms on Dumbledore's desk.

2. To pay Illya back for deciding she has to be so manipulative about it by right after we're done we say something to her about how we don't have to do that again now. Let her start to get distraught, then we immediately pull her in and kiss her like she's never been kissed before.

My experiences involving the mindsets and behaviors of eleven year olds have been dramatically different from much of what I've seen in these threads.

>>27043023
I'm more concerned she threw the contract at us after she already won so hard today. We confesses, killed a man because we thought he'd kill her after he killed us, and have her a strawberry flavored kiss.

Unless she thought or had reason to believe the connection between us was in Jeopardy...this was entirely superfluous on her part. She could have gotten the other girls to agree to later being maids...no, she went straight for the thing that put the two of us into some degree of scrutiny after the fact...what is she hiding that has accelerated things so far...

What if she is dying?

>>27043124
welcome to /tg/: Waifus and Murder Hobos

Just remember any time age is concerned, add 5-7 years and everything makes sense

>>27043124
really? you have experiences with children who grew in a cupboard under the stairs in a house of people who barley tolerated them?

and then spent months as the adopted son/apprentice of a mage killer who won a grail war?

who just had his first kill and kiss on the same day and in that order.?

>>27043235
Today has been a rather large ball of traumatic and uplifting experiences...lets hope everyday isn't like this at this school.


Wait, it's a school full of Wizards. We're fated to fight the dark lord who did not die when he was killed, we are friends with a magical girl, and our girlfriend is just as unbalanced as we are...

May we live in interesting times.

>>27043124
Blame Iri

>>27043351
Yeah...her version of "the birds and the bees" talk included inappropriate uses for honey.

We're probably gonna go through with the geas during the Yule Ball aren't we?

File: 1378409655128.png-(389 KB, 515x728, The Prince of Slytherin.png)

389 KB PNG

Oh Jesus Christ nailed to two planks of wood assembled perpendicularly. You're beginning to suspect that your life is some sort of mishmash between action horror and romantic comedy, and that somewhere out there a group of people are watching this and giggling at the trials that life has deigned to throw at you. Your own appreciation for schadenfreude aside, you -really- don't like it when you're on the receiving end. Especially when you wind pulling off RomCom Character Introduction Maneuver Number Four Hundred and Seventy Six.

The Crash Into Hello.

Of course, the guy you crashed into while your mind was busy moping over how your life is comprised of suffering just -had- to be a posh looking blonde chap who wouldn't have been out of place in Mrs. Irisviel's -yaoi-. You sigh. You've given up trying to get your mind off of subjects that eleven year olds should not be concerning themselves with for today. Maybe tomorrow, when you've slept all of this excitement off.

"Sorry about that," you apologize, getting a better look at your victim "I wasn't looking where I was..."

Wait.

That white-blonde hair.

Those silver green eyes.

That smarmy and charismatic air about him that makes you want to embrace him as a brother and stab him fifty seven times in the soul, simultaneously.

That impeccable fashion sense.

"Yeah, sorry about that," you say, offering him a hand up. "Say, you wouldn't happen to be related to Lucius Malfoy, would you?"

"Indeed I am!" He takes your hand, and you pull him up. His palms are soft with eleven years of being a pampered rich kid, and no where near as slimy as his voice is. "Draco Malfoy, at your service! My... rather large companions are Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, though they both prefer to go by their surnames."

You suddenly notice two kids who you don't quite believe are actually eleven years old, glaring at you.

>Field too long

>>27044325
"Don't be fooled by their appearances," Draco says, "They're really a pair of big old softies, those two. Wouldn't hurt a fly."

You...
>Ask if either of them have Giant's blood. They're huge!
>Introduce yourself to the young Mr. Malfoy.
>Make small talk with the -politician- while you wait for the ceremony to begin.
>Look to introduce this -new friend~!- to your -other new friends~!-
>Politely back off, and go look for where Illya, Hermione, and the others got themselves to.
>Rudely back off, and go look for where Illya, Hermione, and the others got themselves to.

>>27044334
>Introduce yourself to the young Mr. Malfoy.

No need to be rude.

>>27044334
>>Make small talk with the -politician- while you wait for the ceremony to begin.

this ask what classes he is looking forward to what teachers..exct..

>>27044334
Might as well be nice. Can we really judge a man for the sins of his father? Well okay, but there's no reason to be a dick yet.

>>27044334
>Introduce yourself to the young Mr. Malfoy.

then politely say that you must find your friends

>>27044334

Friendly but not to friendly.

We don't want to make an enemy but another avenue for Lucy to chase us up through would be inconvenient.

>>27044334
I think that if Draco isn't changed away from being a dick by the nature of this crossover then we should drag him kicking and screaming away from dickheadishness.

Introduce self.

>>27044334
>Introduce yourself to the young Mr. Malfoy.
Followed by >Politely back off, and go look for where Illya, Hermione, and the others got themselves to.

>>27044334

Let's be at least moderately friendly. Sure, he's a Malfoy. We've seen our teacher decide to treat his father politely, we should try to remain on the son's good side, if we can.

If he starts going on about the lowborn or class privilege or something, we can always try to talk him down gently.

Try, anyway.

>>27044482
yeah but he was raised a dick, and he doesnt have any redeemable qualities

IF we are forced into slytherin, THEN we'll reform him. if not then maybe the occasional conversation or set him up with someone who'll change him for the better. but lets not waste our time on that shit cause his fathers a deatheater

>>27044334
>Introduce ourselves. And introduce him to our friends and vice versa. If he talks back about "some wizarding families are better than others, apply logical discourse, because we like most of the redheads family we've met this far. They are interesting people. If he chides NotKaelido on being muggle born; laugh, because Racism is antiquated, thank him for the laugh and carry on.

>>27044601
Don't make me get /pol/ up in here.

hmmmm, should we kill the hat? then just choose our house

>>27044621
>Killing the Sorting Hat

Somebody might need the Sword of Gryffindor at some point in this quest. Might not even be us. I'd like that option to be there if we need it.

>>27044621
You do realize we can just ask the Hat nicely, right? It always takes your choice into account.

>>27044664
yeah but we wouldnt be killing the sword, just the hat. we kill the hat and a sword drops on our head, the we walk over and hand it to ron

>>27044678
thats never a guarntee

>>27044334
>>Introduce yourself to the young Mr. Malfoy.
>>Look to introduce this -new friend~!- to your -other new friends~!-

>>27044697
We'd be killing the hat that allows for access to it anytime, anywhere.

>>27044717
and start a mudblood/mugglefriends versus elitist snobs flamewar? nothankyou

>>27044728
i thought you actually had to reach into the hat and (if it chooses you) pull it out