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>>27228906
THEN JUST SHUT UP AND FUCK ALREADY!
THE CAMPAIGN ENDS AFTER YOU KILL THE BBEG AND YOU"RE NOT PLAYING UNRESOLVED SEXUAL TENSION ROMANCE "TIL THE EPILOGUE THIS TIME!

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would play the fuck out of pic

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"Dude I know the guy that plays Goku is your friend, but you can't keep pulling bullshit out to bring him back every time and only letting him kill the villian!"

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"OK. Kevin? You're not a bad GM. But how come you just seem to brush over the mechanics and ask me to roll random skills whenever we're in a fight?"

"Do you really want me to get down and use the ACTUAL MECHANICS for Exalted?"

"... ok fair enough."

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Dude, this is the exact same campaign we just finished.

All you did was change a couple names. No, making that a plot point doesn't help.

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this game sucks

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"Damn it Pete, I know you want to get the BBEG first, but stop splitting up the damn party, you're going to get someone killed."

>>27229159
>friend
>implying Goku isn't the most obvious GMPC ever.

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"My 500pt list is 40 basic Hollows, 10 Gillian, and one Arancar."

"My 500pts is Ichigo after he can Bankai"

"Dude, if your gonna bring that powergaming bullshit, I'm not gonna play with you. Go play in a damn tournament with that shit. I just wanna play games and have fun, not watch as you one-shot my army."

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"Dammit Mike, these guys are trying to kill our characters! Pick up a gun and help!"
"I'm playing a cubicle monkey, he's never fired a gun in his life! He's more likely to shoot himself than to do any good in the fight!"
"That's... a surprisingly valid point. Fine. Just, keep your head down and try not to die. We need the Face if we wanna keep getting jobs."

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>>27229365
You..I like you

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"I check for food and drinks"

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"I roll initiative. 17."

"You win, but are you sure-"

"Move action to get to him."

"Look man, for once in your life, hear me out. I gave you plenty of warnings about these guys. This isn't like all those other times where you could just get away with this sh-"

"Full Attack. 20."

"You have no idea what you've just done."

>>27229430
"You're inside the giant maneating monster's stomach!"

"Yes, and?"

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'Okay, so the rookie George gets life creation, Nick gets to summon a mini fighter jet, and Adam gets his wierd surveillance power to go with his ex-cop theme. Bruno, what type of power does your Persona have?'

'Zippers.'

'The fuck? How the hell are you going to make zippers useable.'

'I'll find a way.

'Fine, I've give you some extra character creation points for having such a useless ability.'

>>27229206
I'm insulted and laughing at the same time. Love those stories.

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>"Ok, a gunslinger, a swordsman -which sword I'll check later because those stats look wonky- and a seductress... What about you, Jim?"
>"I got this."
>"But, it's only a sheet of paper with Luck written."
>"Yep."

>>27229584
>implying Lupin relied on luck

Pure skill motherfucker.

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>>27229540
'And the guido has what?'

'Magic gun powers'

'Again? Really?'

>>27229584
Favorite so far, and I've posted.

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>>27229645
>Implying Lupin doesn't have the highest Luck stat

>>27229673
You know, there is a Lupin boardgame.

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>>27229661
'Goddammit man, this is a totally different campagain, you can't go from being a magic gun cowboy to magic gun mafia member.'

'.....'

'Fine, but unlike last time, you don't get an invisible gun with infinite ammo, you gotta manage that shit this time!'

'So Chuck, how's that character sheet going along?'
'Well enough'
'Ok, let's see here... Chaotic good, fine... Gunslinger, fine... Wait- Race: Plant?! What the fuck dude, that's BBEG-tier powerful! You can't play that! And what's with Likes: Sex and alcohol?! This is a trainwreck waiting to happen!'
'But I'm a pacifist, so it balances out.'
'... You know what, Chuck? I guess I'll just let you play as the BBEG's brother too! Oh, and a 6 BILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THAT'S NOT STORY-BREAKING. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SURE A LASER ARM WOULDN'T BE OUT OF PLACE, SO JUST WRITE THAT DOWN TOO."
Chuck then showed up on gameday with the character Vash, and his usual inability to understand sarcasm.

>>27229044
Surely you can do better than just declaring that.

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>>27229540
>>27229661

"Okay, you set up your torture mechanism with the fishhook in the guys eyelid and the magnifying glass. He'll probably be ready to talk any minutes now, what do you do?"

"I start dancing infront of the guy."

"Ok so you-wait, what?"

"Heh, that sounds good, my character'll join in."

"What, why? Why are you-"

"Oh, what the hell, my character starts dancing along too!"

"What!? You guys are retarded...I love each and every one of you."

>>27229770
>6 BILLION DOLLAR BOUNTY
Six billion DOUBLE dollars.
No, I don't know what the fuck that means, you're the one who wrote up the setting.

>>27229485
"How were we supposed to know that Lou punching the guy wasn't going to work?"

"I told you guys that punching him wouldn't solve anything."

"You say that all the time, though. And every time, Lou punches a dude and solves all the problems. How were we supposed to know this time was any different?"

"....You have a point. Alright, give me some time to think of a way to end this that doesn't end in with all dead."

>>27229743
It's not that good.

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It's a game about using bluff, disguise and diplomacy to fool native.

>>27229485
I'm near that part in the anime right now. Oh god yes.

>>27229809
While it might have referenced Double-duty Dollars it most likely meant Dead or Alive as most bounties offered different amounts depending on whether the subject was dead or living.

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>>27229802
"Having gotten a full night' sleep, you notice two large mecha marching slowly towards your encampment. The villagers are armed with machine guns and are prepared to to hold it off long enough for the charges they set to go off. You have to hold them off for about five minutes probably, maybe try and wittle them down to the point where the charges will kill them"

>Player1 turns to player2, his younger brother whose just learning how to play tabletop

"Take me in. I'm gonna steal that thing"

DM: "Wut"

[Eight sessions later]

"Well............that was something. You took out one of my major NPCs, stole his fucking ship, killed half an enemy army, and totally derailed my plot. All thanks to that hot-blooded son-of-a-bitch you have the gall to call a PC. Reroll, and this time NO hot-blood. If I see so much as a speck of hot-blood you're out of the game. Freaking ruined my whole plot with that bullshit"

"Ok. I roll up a little girl"

DM: "Wut"

"Also she's a Princess"

DM: "But the only King is the BBEG"

"Oh thats cool, I'll just play as his daugther"

DM: "I hate you"

>>27229914
I want to do something like that now

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>When are you guys going to actually get to Jurai?

Just tell that bitch to stop moving in on my man.

>It's just a game, for fuck's sake.

I don't care. When are we doing another dream session? That 1920's stuff was fun.

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>>27229771
I couldn't think of anything, and don't call me Shirley!


cigarette?

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The game just hasn't been the same since Caska's player left in a huff over that rape thing. It makes me uncomfortable how much the GM keeps implying or having enemies threaten rape, too.

The fights, though... god damn is he good at running fights.

>>27229926
Double dollars are what they sound like and are a currency on that planet.

>>27230055
Yes I know

>>27230074
Also, the motherfucking GM keeps getting distracted with his stupid anime game for pedos.

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"Hey, I'm glad I caught you. I just want to say thank for agreeing to run this campaign while our regular GM is moving."

"No problem. Happy to help."

"Just one thing though. We usually run a more, well, 'realistic' game and I was worried that giving us this many points to build our robots might cause the others to go little crazy."

"Robots? Those are are for building your pilots!"

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Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

>>27230084
Can you explain this to me? Cig are ette doesn't make any sense to me.

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>>27229860
"So Adam, this game uses a totally different system than the last two campagins, unlike the pervious ones which were like Fist of the North Star and Kung Fu, you're basically fighting with Persona's."

"Okay, cool, I make a Muslim guy, he's a fortune teller, and he can use fire."

"Sure, okay Peter, how about you?"

"I'm going to make this French guy, his Persona's skill will be super fast fencing, and his backstory is basically Inigo Montoya"

"Goddammit, can't you go one fucking game without a Princess Bride refrence? Fine, Jake, you go."

"Five words: Indiana Jones meets Spider-Man."

"Is that Five our Four words? After the mess you made of my last campaign, I can't see how you can do worse. Anyways, Kyle, you go."

"Uhh, my Persona can unravel itself like string, and can shoot really fast projectiles? His personailty is really cool and reserved."

"Yeah sure, it's your first game, now Hugo can't make it for the next few sessions, but he already submitted his design, cowbow with a magic gun, suprise suprise, Josh, your turn."

"Okay, my guy's Dirty Harry, his Persona is a melee type, but his power is that he's super strong, faster than Paul's character, super percise, and he can eventually unlock chronomancy later on."

"What the fuck, lemme see that sheet! How the hell did you manage to take 'Autistic' and 'Charismatic at the same time? Fine, you can have your character, but I'm locking your chronomancy until the final fight against the BBEG"

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>>27230075
Well then it's another occasion of Japs gonna Jap.

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GM, we gotta talk. I'm loving the game, but why don't you ever give us any damn loot?!

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GM: "Okay, she's looking at you. Sawako, roll for cuteness, with a bonus die from sitting so close to him. Kazehaya, roll composure against Sawako's result."

>>27230262
He does give us loot, Steve. It's not his fault that YOU always cause so much collateral damage that we don't get to keep any!

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>>27230218
'Okay Kyle, your character has locked himself in a jail cell after beating up some punks and the parties here to bust you out. What do?'

'Shotgun a Heine, listen to some tunes.'

'Really Kyle? Really?'

'Don't make me shoot myself in the head and study marine biology.'

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"Mitch, The waddledees all charge you, what do you do this round?"

"Gee, I dunno Phil... I guess I'll just suck up the enemy LIKE THE LAST 10 ROUNDS!!!!"

>>27230315
Well excuse me Ms. "I lost it all at the horse races." At least I don't keep critfailing.

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Rolling initiative. I'm just going to try blasting it.

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I don't even know how you minmaxed hard enough to have a Gangrel with Disciplines this high and STILL be a super-hot chick. I'll let you start like this, but you're getting taken down a peg by next session.

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>>27230466
Why does nobody fucking listen to me?

>>27230404
JUST FUCK ALREADY!

>>27230402
Kirby setting would be great.

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"You know I was hesitant to play this at first but John is a WAY better DM than Bob. "

"I'm really loving the monster designs and references to TOHO movies."

"What happened to bob anyway?"

"Quit in a huff when John told him he could run a better game with 2 hours of preperation and nothing more than the game book, some graph paper, and some crayons."

>>27230505
Not our fault you used charisma as your dump stat. You want people to notice you maybe you should pump some points into it like Makoto's player did.

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EARLY GAME
"It's too bad that Kain's player won't be able to player for a few weeks. He said he'll come back and keep track of his level, though, so I guess he really does plan to come back."

"Wait, a little girl character? And she's level WHAT? Ugh, this is gonna be rough until the other guy joins. What was he playing, again? Some kind of mage?"

"How come he's the only guy who gets to class change?"

"Okay, so he can only show up for like one session and then he's gotta run again, but I think you'll like what I have planned for Kain. His player and I worked this out behind the scenes, trust me, you'll love it."

MID GAME
"Holy shit, with a paladin and monk in the party we are kicking all kinds of ass."
"Excuse me? My endgame-level spells are doing most of the heavy lifting here."
"Yeah, and you're why we're always out of ethers."

"Kain's player is back again! Hooray!"

"Kain betrayed us AGAIN? God damn dude. I get that your schedule is spotty but you don't have to pull this every time work gets in the way."

LATE GAME
"You seriously named the spaceship The Lunar Whale?"

>>27230575
would totally play with

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"WHY DO WE HAVE SO MANY GODDAMN PLAYERS"

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>>27230588
I knew these would come in handy for something.

>>27230191
As in "this is a cigarette".

>>27230575
That's a lot of fish.

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>>27230646
I know right? I think we should kill one off in the next campaign.

no savings throw. instant death

>>27230718
That's stupid. We have revive magics.

>>27230718
>you are now aware that she played the rest of the cast, and Cloud in particular, like fucking fiddles

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>>27230647
Are there any guys here? If there are I wanna do them!

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>>27230466
There is actually a Sailor Moon rpg.
http://www.nobleknight.com/ProductDetail.asp_Q_ProductID_E_13178_A_InventoryID_E_0_A_ProductLineID_E_725_A_ManufacturerID_E_169_A_CategoryID_E_12_A_GenreID_E_0

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>>27230774
>implying I don't have it
>implying this isn't a link to it
http://www.mediafire.com/download/s2kbhqd8q2ucwh0/BESM_-_Sailor_Moon_RPG_%26_Resource_Book_.pdf

>>27230619
>>27230686
>TFW you play a game trying to kill "godzilla" as a bunch of normal humans
>TFW "godzilla" is just an iguana
>TFW DM is haughty asshole
>TFW french secret agent player insults crappy DM and takes over
>TFW you have more fun on maps drawn with crayons fighting alongside Son of "Godzilla" than you did fighting his dad

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>>27230755
And then she became God.

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"So you took how many disadvantages?"

"Pretty much all of them."

"And you put the points into what again?"

"Playing Go."

"You realize this is a hardcore beat em up game right?"

"I figure with Charisma being my only non dump stat I'll find a way to manage."

"By playing Go?"

"You realize this group includes a clown with cartoon bubblegum powers, and a Kuwabara rip off who can punch someone into being haunted by Jews right?"

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"Congrats Tim! you just hit level 5! time to pick your new feat!"

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>>27230830
>implying I don't appreciate you

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>>27230894
"I choose beard"

>>27230852
It was a very fun campaign, shame that we never got to finish it.

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>>27230894
>Beardless Riker
Wut.

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>>27230915
It's okay. I've got an idea for a new campaign. You guys will love it.

>>27230961
First season, bro.

>>27230915
Better to have participated in an incredible game as a group of Kaiju Researchers/Giant Monster Hunters than to have never played at all.

Also its cool that the GM reduced his PC to a fairly competant NPC who showed up every now and again to deal with our french operator character than going full DMPC.

>>27230986
I am intrigued. Please, continue...

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>>27230986
I can't believe I crit failed ALL my saving throws.

>>27231049
I can't believe you didn't opt in for any kind of escape system. You brought this on yourself.

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>>27230125
>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

>>27231049
dude, you went nine battle without spicing your combat doctrine up against an adaptive and ever evolving foe. Eventually they were going to over come "Punch it till it dies"

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"What the hell, Joe. You were the one bitching about how you wanted to play a campaign as ordinary people in a low-fantasy setting. Now you're telling me you made a--made some sort of underage wolfgirl shapeshifter?"

"She's a pagan harvest deity. She just chooses to take the form of either a giant wolf or an underage naked girl who likes to drink."

"Seriously?"

"It'll be fine. Really."

>>27231126
I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my piston-boosted tesla fists.

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>>27231102
>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

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>>27231169
>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

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It's not racist! Beetles love watermelon.

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>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

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>>27231251

"What the hell do you mean he hit me with baleful polymorph?!"

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>>27231245

>stop hitting on my mom

No.

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"Ted, YOU WANT TO DO WHAT WITH THE GIRL AND THE DOG!?!"

"Just lemme roll for it Greg."

"Fine..."

"4. Fuck!'

>>27231251
too soon you fucker

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>>27231070
If Just ONE of those throws had passed I'd have survived. Escape systems are too expensive for the advantages they give.

>>27231126
MY COMBAT DOCTRINE WAS PERFECTION!

If Crimson hadn't crit failed his dodge throw I'd have made it to the end and maybe we wouldn't have lost ALL our jaegers to that giant whore monster.

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>>27231370
See, you say shit like that and then you die. Even my old busted piece had escape pods.

>>27230125
Oh god... right in the feels

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>>27231352
>>27231314

"Ted,you fucked up.. big time. I'm sorry but my character is CG, I can't stand for this shit."

"Don' be a fag Jim!"

"Break it up you two!....I gotta call the session here. gotta fix this. Ted,shift you alignment to chaotic evil."


"Aw c'mon! It would have been awesome!"

"Not up for debate Ted!"

>>27231218
GODDAMMIT WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK?!

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>>27231427
>>27231442
>>27231352
>>27231314

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>>27231251

>mfw I cried like a bitch watching that

>>27231491
You're not alone, anon. I wept like a little girl with a skinned knee when his daughter started shouting "Daddy has to go to work" over and over.

>>27231475
Still makes me laugh.

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>>27230646

"That's a pretty small number, don't know what you're complaining about."

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>>27231402
You had 2 Kills to my 9 and even with those fancy swords you spent your brownie points on you STILL lost one of your swords.

I can't believe you bought a self destruct system for that thing...

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>>27231491
>>27231512

"Alright guys I know Hugh was a great role-player but you guys need to get over i.... Russ are you crying?"

"NO....It's just raining is all."

>>27230115

>I was worried that giving us this many points to build our robots might cause the others to go little crazy.

>Robots? Those are are for building your pilots!

That sounds like a game I ran once. In GURPS. With some of the most game-breaking bastards I've ever had the pleasure of knowing playing. No balance survived.

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>>27231512

>The mom managing to keep it together until her kid starts freaking out

oh god that scene

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>>27230125
>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

>>27231532
To be fair you had 6 years to get those kills.

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>>27231532
Can't hear you over how alive I am

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>>27231251
Motherfucker.

Now I have to go drown my sorrows with some Real Folk Blues.

>>27229926
I'm pretty sure it was just the type of currency used. Perhaps 2 dollar coins were common at one time or something, and over the years since planetfall it eventually became the baseline currency, since there's obviously not a strong central authority to regulate it.

tl/dr: it's just part of the setting, don't nitpick

>>27231592
No, you stayed behind to activate the self destruct, remember?

>Bet you a natural 20?

To hell with it, I let you get away with the boat, you're on

....FUCK!

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>>27231592
Nice ride, but my old one was more American.

"So Jeff you are."

"A buttmonkey who wants to get into alice's characters pant's as well as anything with a vag."

"And alice is?"

"A Lizard slut."

"And kevin?"

"My character is the last of a race of artist warriors who beat the BBEG once before, however he was enslaved by the BBEG after being resurrected to be an assassin."

>First combat encounter.

"Okay you are on this stolen ship and are approaching a planet what do?"

"We blow it up!"

"Wut."

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>>27231645
forgot pic

Okay guys, it's post-apocalyptic *island* style game of swords and sorcery. Tidus' Player, Yuna's player and I have been working this out extensively. What did you guys roll up?

Cute and quirky thief! kawaii!
I throw balls at people. Hurr hurr
Magic bitch, emphasis on bitch
Lancer cat-folk

Okay, I know you guys can do some amazing stuff, so I'll let that all fly for now. Though, cat-folk? Seriously?
Tidus, start off the game in the past...
This is my story...
Fucking hell

A little later: "You're surrounded by the monsters, Tidus, when-
Are we even showing up this session?
Shut up. When suddenly a man with a giant sword and a kick-ass coat appears!
Oh fuck, he has DMPC too!

What do you mean you want to PLAY blitzball? It's just a plot point for Wakka! ...Fine, I'll pull something out of my ass for next week! Happy?!

Y-yuna will DIE if we finish our quest! I LOVE her, but WE must DEFEAT SIN!!!
Oh god, ham it up more!
Oh fuck off, you're just mad because Lulu doesn't have a cool love story!

You guys finally got your own airship! Isn't that great? I've been preparing for this! Remember those ODD writings you found places?
Yeah, we do. Here are the answers. What do we get?
More mini-quests!

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Dammit Jack, I know he's the last of his kind but stop making fun of Liara all the time!

>Fuck your dmpc ahahahaha

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>>27230125
>Bad news, guys. I can't keep playing. Tonight will be my last session.

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>>27231592
I still say you cheated on your combat rolls.

Also how did you know to buy Aniti EMP equipment?

I call shenanigans!

>>27231566
Not my fault GF's player took a break after he lost a pilot and his machine got trashed.

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"So let me get this straight. This campaign started as a one shot about a dude, who got abducted by aliens and turned into a futa, and all the other players are chicks he turned into futa, and there's a conspiracy of some kind going on between the aliens and the Illuminati? Am I missing anything?"

"Hypnosis sperm, super strength/stamina/etc, iodine is your secret weakness."

"Iodine?"

"Krokodil's a hell of a drug."

"You know what, fine, can I play a loli with a horsecock?"

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>Wow, John you're character is pretty damn awesome.
>I know right, I'm never gonna stop rolling 20s. Not like these angst-ridden fuckers do anything, amirite?
>Hey! We try our best...
>Huh, OK. Here's a quick minor encounter for you, nothing you can't handle. Some guys are trying to escape.
>Wait, what....Triple 1s....roll again...oh god...
>I'm...sorry John, you'll have to roll a new character.
>You are coming back, right John?

>>27231691
>Liara is a DMPC
>Javik is a That Guy counter trolling the DM
That...actually explains a lot. Especially Liara's....*ahem* Charisma boost between 2 and 3

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>>27231251
But what a last session it was.

Kromgol is pleased.

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"How many times are you going to play this same fucking character?"

>>27231700
Lead lining, baby. Keeps me from going sterile. Being better than you is just a bonus.

>>27229326
You know, a Bleach miniatures game could be really badass.

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>>27231721

"Fine Okay. I'm going to play a Lawful Evil motherfucker whose scottish and will shit over everyone. Happy?"

Sure is weaboo as fuck in here.

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"But he had a girlfriend!"

"But did your character fuck her?"

"....No."

"Did he fuck anybody else?"

".....No."

"Write '75 year old virgin' on character sheet"

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"So I know your last DM was running this as a slice of life game, but I was thinking we could maybe try having a bit more combat."

"Don't worry, it won't change the tone of the campaign."

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Screw it. They're right.

>What?

They're right. I love fighting. I love killing. I'm still going to stop them, but I am going to kill the fuck out of all of them.

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Fucking hell, Tim...

Why'd you have to go and do that?

>>27231711
oh you mother fucker

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>>27231728
I see no possible way that would go well.

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>>27231767
Hey man, its not so bad!
I got this rad helmet with the points from that disadvantage!

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(Entire table falls silent, as all players simply stare at the GM for 15 minutes straight.)

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>How many fucking times are you going to make us roll new characters, John?

>Dale didn't have to roll for a new one this time, you know.

>Yeah, but the rest of us did. This is the second time and it's only the third session.

>Trust me, none of you will have to roll new characters again after this... Besides you, Tom.

>Fuck this, I'm out.

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Double crit. Is there anyone left?

>>27231645
>>27231661

Hey cut that out, only I remember LEXX

>>27231781
That bloody cat my GF brought trashed all my character sheets, figured this was the quickest route to a re roll

>>27231699
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-

>>27231475

Could someone explain this?

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>>27231724
I've seen your character sheet you have an iron core skeleton with titanium plating. Not an ounce of lead anywhere except as reactor shielding, rule book says it wouldn't stop EMP Either.

Lemme see you dice.

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I set up this entire awesome fantasy world with awesome stuff, give you crazy powers like you want, AND THIS IS WHAT YOU DO?

>>27231699
B-but we just did all that stuff to save you. We need you, Alice. You started this campaign.

>You'll be fine. Look how far you got without me.

>>27231851
a guy fused his daughter and their dog together to keep his military funding.

he did the same shit with his wife.

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Well...you won the quick draw, and critted on your attack role. I guess Johnny Ringo flops to the ground, spasming in death.
>He weren't no daisy. He weren't no daisy a' tall.
>*Wyatt's player shows up. Amazing dialogue ensues*

Best Aces and Eights campaign ever.

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"Ok Gean, you got one good role left in you, but frankly, I don't think there's a way out of this. He's got your entire team down to the single digits."

"I use my last Break"

"Alright, but even a 20 won't be able to why do you have a brick Gean. Gean no GEAN I JUST FIXED THE TABLE DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE"

>Gean smashes the d20 with the brick, shattering it into several pieces


"Well would you look at that. I just rolled a 76."

"I hate you all so much"

>>27231788
I freely admit I'm not smart enough to crunch numbers and write rules, but the power levels of anyone that isn't Ichigo is all spelled out. Wouldn't be too hard to translate that into point costs I imagine. But I could be talking out of my ass.

>>27231877

Look, it's not our fault you decided to turn this into some grimderp bullshit. Maybe next time don't kill off all of the NPCs we're getting attached to, and we won't do crazy shit like this.

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"We're going to roll for a handshake."
"Dave, it's a handshake."
"A DIPLOMATIC handshake."
"Fine, whatever."
>20

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"Okay, so we're all ready for the space pirate game?"

"I rolled a schoolgirl."

"Hey, me too!"

"I rolled a princess. Is that okay?"

"God dammit, you guys."

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Roll San

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>>27231871
GM said it was fine, so it's fine. Why are you two so salty about this? Mad you died before the final battle?

>>27231886
And then a dirty fucking kebab blew her to pieces at the atomic level with his magic arm.
Anime is weird sometimes.

"We take the dog with us."

"Whenever Steve gets back, his character isn't going to like that."

"We. Take. The. Dog."

"Fine. It could be interesting, I guess."

>Later

"Jesus H. Christ. You statted it."

"I don't see a problem here. I said it could be important."

>>27231680
I know you guys liked that campaign, and you played that Ronso really well. So, for the next campaign, I was thinking-
We want to play a magical girl game.
W-what?! But, there's only going to be the three of you for a few months? Fine, give me the rules. What classes did you guys have in mind.
All of them, we want to switch. And, we want to continue in the last campaign's setting.
...
And, we want to keep the airship.
...Fine, I'll figure out a way to put Yuna, Rikku and Lulu back into adventuring.
I don't want to play Lulu anymore, I'm going to play a swordswoman.
And I have two guesses about her personality. What happened to Lulu?
She's... pregnant. Yeah.
...By whom?
....Wakka.
Fuck it, I'll make it happen. Just don't expect miracles.

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>>27231962

Captcha ate my image.

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>>27231925
>Hey guys can I play too? I wanna be a space cowboy!
>That sounds ok...
>..Wait, im not finished! He has a Magic Gun! And his Ship has robot-arms for fighting in space!
>....Godamnit, Gene.

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"Guys I think Dave just had a stroke"

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>>27231925
THIS IS THE BEST GAME OF ROGUE TRADER EVER!

>>27231711
You son of a bitch

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Just another day in Exalted Modern.

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"Dammit Tom, I told you this was a heavy cyberpunk game full of espionage and action and you blew all your money for Augs on a Mateba?"

"Well yeah, I need a gun that won't jam."

>>27231701
>"You know what, fine, can I play a loli with a horsecock?"
Enjoy the DM forcing you into coma and stealing half your character traits.

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I stop fighting. I detected his endurance and figured out that I can't fight as long as he can. So, I just stop

>>27231948
>sometimes

>>27231929
Your filename just made me crack the fuck up for like a solid minute, dude. Good show

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>>27231923
Jesus fuck, what the shit did you guys do to my modern espionage game!? Did...did Jack just suplex the military surplus death robot!?

>>27231877
I wanted the fucking spoon okay! I wanted the spoon, but it was all the way over there!

Stop railroading me!

>>27231661
The ancient song thing will never get out of my fucking head

>>27232064
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3472Q6kvg0

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Ok dude cut back the food descriptions we've been breaking for snacks like every ten minutes this whole campaign

>>27232041

>Hi! All the anime I've seen is casual shit from Toonami!

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"Andy what the fuck were you thinking when you let over 30 players in this game? I have no idea what the fuck is even going on anymore"

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"So you find a model aircraft engine, and your neighbors come to visit."

Best session ever!

>>27232064
>surplus
That the military has a SURPLUS of death robots is disturbing in the extreme.

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"What do you mean your character can just make anything 'nothing'? So he can just make anything not exist?"

"Pretty much. and don't make me redo this guy. You owe me."

"FUUUUUUU-"

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>Ok I'll be filling in for your GM now. You've played 2 campaigns as some kinda monster tamer/collectors things so far, right?
>Yep we got our characters all rolled up, more of the same please.
>Oh, well, I mostly do Adeptus Evangelion and CoC games, but I'll see what I can do...

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Why are you guys always meeting up without me? Is there something you're not telling me about this campaign?

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So... you all rolled ninja, huh?

>>27232112
TIME TRAVEL NEVER TURNS OUT WELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK TIME TRAVEL COULD TURN OUT WELL

>>27231917
There is a problem of timing.

What with Zaraki leveling up (well down technically) every time he almost dies for example.

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>"You're not a psyker, Spencer."

>"Yes, I am."

>"No, you're not."

>"I've heard it both ways."

>"Fuck it. While you two nancy boys are arguing, the Jackal is rolling for stealth mode."

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>>27232122
"You know its fine its fine. Whatever. Here, meet the BBEG. She has...I dunno ....a quadrillion abilities give or take a couple million."

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>Why does your school girl have bracers?

>She got them from her mom.

>Okay, why would her mom have bracers?

>Her mom is Wonder Woman.

>........Alrig-

>And her dad is Super Man.

>................................

>I also took the rival quality.

>I'm gonna regret this but who's her rival?

>Iron Man.

>............Oka-

>Only he's a girl and his power armor is a bikini.

>God damn you.

>>27232115
Exalted Modern.

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>>27232122
"You said one power per person! He only has one power! (For now)"
"What was that?"
"Nothing. It's not my fault if you didn't check our powers beforehand!"

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>>27232147
It shit all over our last campaign. Worse than the space shit.

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>>27232041
Monster is a very mundane story, for one.

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>>27231713
>What do you mean the Reapers save civilizations by destroying them? Don't listen to that bullshit!

Shut up Jack, you aren't there!

>No, that's bullshit, I ran with him to the beam!

Harbinger blasted you, Joker rescued you in the Normandy

>How did it not get blown up then?

Reaper I-

>Then we should have just blown it-

No, you aren't there!

> >what about me?

Shut up James, you're dead! You got killed by the beam

> >what the fuck?

Go ahead and choose John, Destroy, Control, or Combine!

John: I don't know man...

THAT'S IT, YOU'RE ALL DEAD, THE REAPERS KILL EVERYONE AND THE NEXT CYCLE PICKS COMBINE!

> Oh FUCK YOU!

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"We're gonna go look for the legendary sword."

"You guys already HAVE weapons and you're doing really well with them. Why would you want another one?"

"Because you mentioned it, Shin. We're going to go get the legendary sword."

"Okay, you know what, it's in a mountain cave at the top of a waterfall, your character can't go in the water because he's OCD or something."

"I sit on Brad's character's shoulders while we walk through the river in the cave."

"The sword, when it's not busy being a sword, dresses like this little Elizabethan guy. Cane, top-hat, the whole shebang."

"I ask him if he's-"
>the GM puts on his accent
"Fools!"

"Dude let me talk to"

"I know you why you're here! You wish to wield the legendary sword Excalibur, isn't that right?"

"Okay at least you're getting to the point here"

"I'll have you know I am not an easy companion to travel with."

"That's super and it can probably-"

"You'll need to comply with this list of 1500 dema-"

"Hey wait come back"

>>27232176
Not possible. A surplus is having more than enough, and there cannot be enough of anything in Exalted, because the other side is also completely insane.

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>>27232147
>Oh you guys wanna time travel in this campaign huh?
>You wake up in a field. All your equipment is gone. Your younger self is pointing a shotgun at you. Roll for iniatitive.

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>>27232122
>>27232163
>>27232182


Holy shit guys! I've been getting crits all session!

>>27232147
So I can have sex with myself, of course.

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>>27232208
Budget cuts, we've had to outsource a lot of this stuff to this crazy Brazilian guy
He seems trustworthy

>>27232104
You're the one who wanted Brain Jacques to DM our campaign.

>>27229162
Asura would be what Solar Exalted wish they were. He died, and came back just for his daughter. He killed everyone, for kidnapping her and killing his waifu. Then he killed God, yes he killed God, because he made his daughter cry.

>>27232122
Balanced out by his Always Loses disability.

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>>27232226
"What the hell do you even mean, your power is 'Being better at everyone elses power than they are'? Y'know what, fuck it."

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>Wait, HOW many rockets and grenades did we get on that roll?

>>27232098
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LgGeQpzCFs

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"Alright, Dave, you died again."
Wait, what? I was just climbing a ladder. That kind of fall wouldn't kill me.
"I never said the fall killed you."

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>John, why the fuck are there like, a dozen of us here? Do you really think we can manage this?

>Yeah, sure, just give me a moment... Okay, Tom, Dale, your characters are dead. Thanks for playing.

>W-Wait w-wha-

>Yours too, Bob.

>This is bullsh-!

>And yours, Rich.

>>27232246
>Implying that a High-Essence Solar hasn't invested his XP in the Final Ray of Light Charm

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>>27231711

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>>27232112

Jesus Christ, Andy. You're supposed to give the players a basic freaking hint on how things WORK. If not in both in the setting and the system, pick one.

I just said fuck it and picked Heir of Void. It sounded cool.

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"God damn this conversation's boring. I steal the idiots gun and attack"

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>You guys all rolled for dwarves...what...I told you this was gonna be a d20 modern game...
>I rolled for a small human boy, if that helps
>No. It really fucking doesnt. Fine, you guys wanna be dwarves? I may know a way...

>TEN SESSIONS LATER
>Jesus christ, you guys just wont fucking die! Imperial Guard, Minotaurs, even a fucking space cowboy! Right thats it, you're fighting the Lord of all Evil, right now.
>But isnt this history-themed...
>Fuck it, I don't care. You're fighting Satan. Good luck, you assholes.

>>27232294
Man I need to finish watching that

>>27232304
See
>>27232147

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Alright. You found a paperclip.

>Sweet.

>>27232311
Wait a few months, the final episode should be out by then

>>27232274
GODDAMNIT

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>Wait, so you're telling me you both rolled Lunars?

>Yep.

>And they're both bards.

>Yep.

>And they're both horse totem.

>No, no. STALLYN totem.

>Okay, then. Fuck it, we'll do it live. Chejop Kejak materializes before you in a Starmetal phone booth with promises of adventure.

>Excelleeeeent.

>>27232286
I'm sorry Ms. Nanako. It looks like I won't be able to take you to the beach like I promised

>>27231900
>Holy fuck that is EXACTLY what Simone would do if he was playing D&D.

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Wait a second. Nobody took any social stats at all?

Nobody?

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Dude, I've been rolling with you for say. . .the past few years now, and this has been bugging me for a while now, but, uh. . .

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

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>Right, another random encounter. A strange, flying, lizard-like beast with a long, sharp tail swoops down to attack you with a screech. Roll initiative.
For fuck's sake, this is the seventh one! We're less then a mile from town!
>I rolled, that's what came up. Roll.
Fine. Four
>Right, let's see... Ok, the beast gets stuck in a tree and screes impotently.
Fuck it. I keep walking.
>Another one comes over the ridge
GOD DAMN IT.

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>tfw your GM and best bro dies

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>>27232364
HNNNGH. Thanks for giving me another fucking cliff racer PTSD attack.

I'm gonna go pray to St.Jiub, and hope the dreams gome away...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4rXsrZRchQ

>>27232377
>tfw your follow up campaign dies

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And as you walk into the bar, you see a TV showing a local news fluff piece about the BBEG

>Frank, what the fuck is this?

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"Ok now I'll use the points I put into balance to go surfing."
"You realize we're in the middle of combat right?"
"And?"

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>>27230871
>Kuwabara rip off who can punch someone into being haunted by Jews

My next character.

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>>27232364
>the random encounter table is just the words "Cliff racer attacks" repeated a hundred times

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>Before you stands the cliff in which the barbarians make their home. Above you, a giant bat circles forlornl--Yeah, that's a pretty steep climb. I don't think you'd be able to climb even with a crit success, dude.

>I'm not going to climb it. I've got a bow, right?

>Uh, yeah. Why?

>I roll to shoot the bat.

>Okay, nat 20. And now for damage, aaaand that's a one-hit kill. The bat lands at your feet. What do now, o genius from the future?

>I use the bat as a hang-glider.

>What.

>You heard me.

>Fucking whaaaaat.

>And I roll a natural 20.

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TYLOR JUST HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU ROLL THAT MANY 20'S!

>"Alright, I have one of our new robots murder Tom's girlfriend, and flimsily frame him for it, with evidence that won't stand up in court, but will be enough to doom him in the court of public opinion."

"You what?"

>"Then I use my control over the average citizen's access to information to make the entire city believe he's guilty."

"Dude, that seems a bit dickish."

>"Then, when he walks, I use it as the leverage I need to put myself in control of the entire city."

"Dammit Al, this is why nobody else wants to fucking play with us."

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>Dude, you can't be an atheist paladin.
>Fuck you I can't be an atheist paladin!

>>27232413
YORSWORLD HESTHEMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

YORSWOOORLD

>we're gonna need alot more hemp before we're through

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"HOLY SHIT JIM YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS THE BEST DM EVER"

>>27232280
>Finally it's the little girl's turn to pilot
>And we never spoke of that session ever again

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>For fucks sake Jim, nothing but hard dice? Really? And- wait a minute. Ennui? Your primary motivation is ennui?
>You know what, fine, but you're starting at C rank.

"The boss waits for you in the church's main chamber. He seems unsurprised by your presence."

"I roll Perform."

"Wait, what?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySY5YMoBp7c

>>27232423
its hard to be that anyways when one of your paladin friends has his face on fire with the spirit of vengeance

>>27232422
Wait, what do you mean Al had a resurrection spell, 'just in case'?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GnkbJ-H4r5k

>>27232493
>"Man, you've got to be close to dying. You've got a sword in your chest, you've been tossed around the entire fight and you just got slammed into a statue."
>"Nah, I still have like fifty HP, says so right on the sheet."

>>27229210
Why the fuck would anyone play this?

>>27232539
"So this blonde chick smashes a bike into your office and just starts wrecking everything. What do you do?"

"I roll to seduce"

"....."

>>27232566
Why not?

>>27232493
>>27232539
>>27232582
"Okay, so you've defeated the demon-witch. I'll roll on the table to see what item she infuses her essence into."

"...What's wrong?"

"...You're not going to believe this."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGdURXV1LNQ

>>27232458
>Wait, what? Your little brother is co-DMing with your doctor? What could they poss--Is that ninja mini wearing a lab coat?

>Yeah, he's a doctor. Doctor McNinja.

>I...I think I need to change my pants.

"So... What makes this any different from freeform?"

"Well... All your characters look like birds."

"Birds."

"Yeah, like, the kind of birds a fourth grader would draw."

"All of us?"

"Yes, all of you. Like I said, you look like a gradeschooler's drawing of a bird."

"Uh, alright..."

"You see that DPRS stat on your character sheet?"

"Yeah, what does that even stand for?"

"You'll find out."

>Alright. So after you summon the avatar of Chaos to kill the resurrected creator of the universe by punching it into the sun from just outside the solar system, then destroying the statue catalyst used for it's resurrection, then crash landing back to Earth, then dicking around by sleeping in a coffin for a few days, then performing a tasteful dance routine, what do you do?

I get a haircut

>image limit
Short_Haired_Bayonetta.jpg

"You see the girl's motorcycle from before."

"Cool. I grab it and start driving."

"Drive it where? There's no road."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlHY6xRpktk

"Where we're going we don't need roads."

"Goddammit."

"Also, remember how I took those improvised weapon feats?"

"...Fuck off."

This is bull

>no one made you pick Soulknife

am talking about how yusuke is now a demon

>This is a post-apocalyptic campaign, right?

>Yep.

>Groovy. Good thing I'm playing a martial artist, then.

>Oh man, I fucking loved that sh--Wait, Dave, I think you misspelled your martial art here.

>Why?

>It says "Fist of the Nose Hair".

>Yes.

>That's not a misspelling, is it.

>Nope.

>Goddammit, Dave.

I keep telling you, you don't have to yell your attack name.

>GUST OF WIND DANCE!

>>27232708

>Gasser.

>Yes.

>That implies exactly what I think it does, doesn't it.

>Unless you're thinking he's going to wreck the oil monopoly, yeah.

>>27232409
While a simple enough explanation it really doesn't do Knuckle justice.

He's one of if not the manliest character in the series.

>>27232709
You don't have to, but everyone has more fun that way.