hi op

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"So," you turn to Nicolette and Sylvie, "what have you two been up to today?" you ask.
"I'm pretty sure you know how my day started..." Nicolette replies. "...but after all that bullshit with Monique, I took the messenger to Vincent and spent the rest of the day putting up with that little shit."
"Ouch," you reply.
"He stuck around until the messenger from Marconetti was done with his business, and he spent the entire time bitching to whoever looked like they were in charge about how much of an outrage it was that he got his ass beat. It was all I could do to keep from skewering him," Nicolette says, letting out a long sigh.
"Oh my..." Sylvie says, covering her hands with her face.
"Guess I made your day worse, huh," you reply, feeling a bit guilty.
"Nah, I would've had more shit to deal with if I'd hit him myself. Don't worry about it," Nicolette says, grinning.

Trying to change the subject, you turn to Sylvie.

"What about you?" you ask her.
"Um..." Sylvie begins, "...Sir Gregory was trying to teach me more combat spells this morning, but I couldn't get any right. And then he had to leave because of you, um... punching Mr Gilbeault, so I went to the library and spent the rest of the day with Mr. Gerhard. Sorry for being so boring..." she says, looking down at the ground.

Just as Sylvie finishes talking, Margot aproaches the table, pushing a cart with three plates of lasagna on it.

"Here you go! The chef doesn't make this too often, I hope you'll like it!" she says as hands each of you your food.

>say something
>the time for talk is over, now you must CONSUME.
>[OTHER]

>>27289547
First! Whoo!

>>27289591
>Make delightful smalltalk

Couldn't hang out with my bro tonight so here I am with another thread. I'm only sticking around until about 3-ish though, as I need to wake up early tomorrow.

>>27289591
>>say something
lets talk about sex

>>27289645
Let's not.

>>27289591
>>say something
see if she can perform any of the allowed enchantments from the etiquette guide

>>27289591
CONSUME

>>27289591
>say something
She can bend the fabric of reality to her will, I doubt that could possibly be boring. She is really underselling herself.
then
>CONSUME
also totes forgot to return that map earlier

>writing

>>27289591
Time for talk is mostly abated. Begin eating. We already talked about training with Nicolette after this, right? We should maybe invite Sylvie along, we can show her the ropes. If nothing else it makes future requests for magical aid very reasonable.

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"Hey Sylvie," you say, remembering the book you were reading in the library earlier, "you wouldn't happen to know any strengthening enchantments, would you?"
"Hmgh? Strnfhming?" Sylvie turns to you, her mouth full of lasagna.
"Yeah," you reply. "I was reading a book about dueling earlier, and it listed a bunch of spells that were 'tournament legal.' I was just wondering if you happened to know any of them."
"Oh... I'm no good with a sword, so I never bothered to learn how to enhance one. I can cast Sturdiness, but that's about it as far as what I have memorized that would work on a sword. Sorry."
"There's no need to apologize, I was just kind of curious," you reply.
"...oh, but Sir Vincent was trying to teach me how to use Vajra Spark!" she says excitedly. "I think you can use that on a sword, would that help?"
"Nah, that one was listed specifically as 'going against the tenets of fair play,'" you say in your best imitation of Monique's voice.
"Oh... never mind then."

>say something
>enough talking, CONSUME

>>27290313
>>enough talking, CONSUME

Rolled 14

>>27290313
Can you show us some spells, we're a country bumpkin so maybe we never seen magic before?

>>27290313

>CONSUME

Where there is food, we will consume it.

>>27290313
>enough talking, CONSUME

>>27290313
>Saying no to a spell that'd make us more effective in a fight.

We are charged with protecting the princess, those acts are not duels, and any edge is a good edge.

>>27289547
Monique is clearly a girl's name, and therefore the captain of the Border Guard is either a poorly-disguised woman or a man whose parents really wanted a daughter.

We must find some way to confirm which of these is the case.

>writing

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>enough talking, CONSUME


You're hungry.

REALLY hungry.

You tear into the lasagna that sits before you, taking the occasional swig of water to help it all go down. It's actually the first time you've ever eaten this, but you CONSUME it as if you've done so every day of your life.

As you finish, you look over to Nicolette and Sylvie... their plates already clean, they're chatting about random things. Quietly lamenting the fact that two girls somehow defeated your eating speed, you solemnly drink the rest of your water.

"So... Reinhold?" Nicolette turns to you.
"Hm?" you reply, putting down your mug.
"Are you ready to get wrecked?" she says, an evil grin on her face.
"Nicolette! That's rude, you don't know that you'll win!" Sylvie shouts, smacking Nicolette on the back of her head.

>say something
>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH
>[OTHER]

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>enough talking, CONSUME
MFW Reinhold is secretly a Tyranid with massive ranks in disguise and bluff.

>>27290830
>say something
Want to wager?

>>27290830
>[OTHER]
"Loser has to buy the winner dinner!"

>>27290830
>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH
Actually say this out loud. In the hammiest voice possible.

>>27290830
>>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH

>>27290830
>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH

>>27290830
>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH

Lancer beats Saber. We gonna get rekt.

>>27290830
"Well, it's always possible. Let's go see what happens."

>>27290830
>LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH

>>27290868
Second. Channel the might of BRIAN BLESSED himself through your voice box.

>>27290854

This sounds good.

>>27290868
Do eet, faggot.

>>27290854
But we just ate, and we both get all our meals free.

>writing

>>27291124

Doesn't have to be tonight.

>>27291159
We both get all of our food for free every night.

>>27291197

I thought the implication was they would go somewhere else to eat.

>>27291245
Why bother?

You guys... I hate you so much.

I love you guys, seriously

>>27291245
What's wrong with the food here?
You think some peasant food is somehow going to be better than what's served in the royal castle?

>>27291259
So, what is it like being forever alone?

>>27291275
>>27291245
This isn't the modern world where you go to restaurants.
Odds are this is the best food in the city.

>>27291275
So, what is it like thinking that not being alone is a formulaic thing requiring dinner dates at restaurants?

>>27291329
No, this is the fantasy world where the city has the best bookstores, bakeries, and dress stores in the kingdom. I'm willing to bet there's a resteraunt out there that will take reservatiosn for Reinholt, personal bodyguard to the princess.

>>27291406
What's it like, defending the guy who couldn't see the point of a dinner at a nice restaurant with a nice girl, even if it was completely platonic?

>>27291414
It depends how full anime the author is going here.
Dinner dates were never really a thing in the pre industrial world.

Well this isn't annoying.

>>27291414

This. They've already shown the town has plenty of nice shops/bakeries, no reason it wouldn't have good food too.

Doesn't matter if it's a date or not, a change of pace/scenery is always nice.

>>27291451
Let's not start this again. I love this argument as much as the next person, but it's important to note that whatever the setting, this is not the preindustrial Earth. So if we want to go on a dinner date, we can probably go on a dinner date.

>>27291431
>point of a dinner for dinner's sake at a place probably less nice than where we eat all the time for free
Guess why nobody else can see that point. Hint: It's the same reason nobody else sees your tulpa.

>>27291463
All towns have shops and bakeries. That's not the same as having a cook better than the king's.

>>27291493
Please stop. This is a nice quest thread, with an interesting little shared world. We've gotten this far without resorting to this kind of assery. The moral of this story is that if we go on a dinner date we can go on a dinner date, and if that turns out not to be what people want, so be it. It seems like there are at least a couple of people in each camp.

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A certain idea forms in your head. Unable to resist, you abruptly stand up from your seat and slam your hands onto the table.

"NICOLETTE!" you shout in the most grandiose voice you can muster, "LET US GO TO THE TRAINING GROUNDS, FOR THE TIME TO SPAR IS NIGH!!" you exclaim as you turn to Nicolette, pointing in the general direction of the training yard in a most exaggerated fashion.

Your eyes meet, and Nicolette understands from the look on your face what she must do.

"YES!" she exclaims, following your lead. "THE TIME HAS COME TO FINALLY SETTLE OUR SCORE, MY FRIEND!" she shouts, standing up and placing one foot on her chair.

The two of you look at each other with the most goofily serious epressions that you can manage, and then do an exaggerated march out the door.

"Wh... what?" Sylvie looks on at this display, and breaks down laughing. "Oh my g- what in the world wa- wait, dont lea- hahaha!"

Fortunately for her, your little march to the training yard is slow enough for her to be able to catch up with the two of you after she finally regains her composure.

"You two are so weird!" she says, still laughing.

>[1/?]

>>27291562
>The moral of this story is that if we go on a dinner date we can go on a dinner date
Yeah but it would be shitty and not the kind of weak idea of courtship that should be appropriate to a man who grew up anywhere but the suburbs.

>>27291562

Good point. This is sort of a pointless argument anyway. The QM knows his own setting well enough to know if this would make sense or not.

>>27290918
eh who knows we might get lucky

or she could get unlucky

>>27291595
Yes. Truly fun times.

>>27291595

Nicolette god tier confirmed.

>>27291614
(ignoring the shitty comment)
But what if it's something we've always wanted to do and now that we have money and status we finally can?

>>27291653
Nicollette now officially #1 on my list
Which list?
All of them.

>>27291655
Well at least that would be justifiable in character. Probably not appropriate to someone we just met a couple days ago though.

>>27291697
Eh, maybe we've never really had female friends before either. I feel like it's possible we'd jump the gun and probably fumble it amusingly when nicollete thought we were hitting on her, but that's just my opinion. So far we seem to be sort of uncomfortable socially if we aren't hurting people.
I see your point, obviously, I'm just saying that there are ways it could happen in character too.
This may be moot, as I'm not sure we get days off, but we'll see.

>>27291808
>Eh, maybe we've never really had female friends before either.
Seems unlikely. We don't know of any but we have only a rough outline of our history:
>Brothel
>Streets
>Army
Could have had female friends on the streets just fine.

>This may be moot, as I'm not sure we get days off, but we'll see.
Pretty sure we don't as part of our normal schedule. Might be some turn up in unusual circumstances, but nothing we could plan for.

>>27291920
Who knows? I'm sure we've had "girlfriends" of one sort or another, but I feel like the odds of an actual friendship with one is low, and we aren't sure if this army is males only, separate units, or fully integrated.

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>>27291595
>[2/2]

Eventually, the two of you resume walking normally and Sylvie manages to stop laughing. After a few minutes, you reach the training yard, stopping after you walk inside.

"AND NOW!" you exclaim, "OUR CLIMACTIC FINAL BATTLE SHALL COMMENCE!" you shout, raising your arms in the air.
"YES!" Nicolette replies, still playing along, "OUR BATTLE SHALL BE SPOKEN OF IN LEGEND FOR GENERATIONS TO COME!" she exclaims, pointing towards the setting sun.

Sylvie wasn't expecting the two of you to resume your little act, and she falls to the ground laughing.

"Oh- oh god, you two- I don't even know wha- you're both nuts!" she chokes out, giggling uncontrollably.

Feeling kind of bad, you and Nicolette help her back up. After making sure that she can breathe properly, you look around... and see that you've gathered quite the crowd.

>what do you do now?

>>27291976
spar

>>27291976
"Loser buy the winner a pint down at the tavern"

>>27291976
We've had more people watching us while we fight. We kick Nicollete's ass. No mercy.

In a firendly sparring way, though. No injuries or hurt feelings, but if we try to go easy, she will probably destroy us.

>>27291976

Keep it going through the fight.

>>27291976
"COME THEN, NICOLETTE, LET US CONDUCT THIS CONFRONTATION WITH HONOR! BUT ENOUGH TALK, HAVE AT THEE!"

>>27291968
>and we aren't sure if this army is males only, separate units, or fully integrated.
Based on Palace Guard, I'd guess the latter.

Ok, I'm adding this
>>27292072

To mine
>>27292006

>>27292088
That seems like it would fit the setting, but there tend to be different rules for who get's sent into the meatgrinder and who wears fancy armor and protects the king.

QM?

>>27291976
We spar, of course.

>>27292072
Second.

>>27292072
This

Also whisper to sylvia to cast sturdiness on our weapon

>>27292130
dont be a douchebag

>>27291976
Salute, then strike a particularly dramatic combat stance. See if she wants to come in close. She probably won't because spear, but if she lunges we can parry her spear (don't know the name, the kind of twirly parry that ends with your blade inside theirs) and step into her guard as we riposte.

Be sure to serious up as soon as you get close to each obviously.

>>27292072

Thirded.

>>27292115
Integrated army, based entirely on merit.
There aren't many females who make it in, but the ones who do so have proven themselves to be as good as anyone else there.

>>27292190
Gracias, Word of God.

>>27292088
In that case I agree we probably had a few female friends.

>writing

>>27292229
>writing

Great!

"GENTLEMEN!" Nicolette shouts, "I, NICOLETTE, CAPTAIN OF THE ROYAL GUARD..."
"AND I, REINHOLD, PERSONAL BODYGUARD TO PRINCESS MARIANNE..." you exclaim, joining in.
"...HAVE COME HERE TO SETTLE WHICH WEAPON IS BEST! LANCE..." she yells while doing a flourish with her own lance.
"...OR SWORD!" you shout as you unsheath your sword, twirl it around, and then resheath it.
"Somebody fetch us some practice weapons!" Nicolette calls out.
"Yes sir!" a guard in the crowd exclaims as he runs out to the shed where the aforemetioned practice weapons are kept.

The crowd of guards starts to murmur with excitement, and you can make out someone taking bets on your match. As you sigh, a bit flustered at all of this sudden attention, Nicolette turns to you.

"Hey, how about we make this interesting?" she says to you, a sly grin on her face.
"Hm?" you reply.
"Wanna make a wager on the outcome?"

>hear her out
>decline, you are Sword and Sword does not make wagers.

>>27292551
Hear her out also suggest the loser buy the winner a drink

>>27292551
Hear her out.

>>27292551
>hear her out

Dis gun b gud

>>27292551
>hear her out
"What did you have in mind?"

>>27292551

Hear her out. This can only make things more interesting.

>>27292551

Hear her out here.

>>27292551
>hear her out
dont wanna unfun our fun chickbro

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>>27292551
>hear her out

>hear her out

"What kind of wager did you have in mind?" you ask, a bit curious.
"I was thinking that when I win, your next day off would be appropriated by me and Sylvie," Nicolette replies, smiling.
"...appropriated?" you ask. "...and I get days off?"

You seriously didn't know that this job came with days off, though it is a pleasant surprise.

"Yeah, 'appropriated.' As in, you'll spend your next day off acting as me and Sylvie's personal gofer as you accompany us in town. carrying our bags, paying for our food... you know, loser stuff." she replies.

>"And when I win..." (specify what you want)
>Marianne's bad enough, you don't need two of them on your day off

>>27292797
"But what do you get if I win?"
*wink and grin*

>>27292551
>hear her out
PROCEED WITH THE AFOREMENTIONED COURSE OF ACTION, SODOMITE!

>>27292797
>"And when I win..." (specify what you want)

Obviously a date right?

>>27292797
>"And when I win..."
"...you cook me dinner."
I seriously got nothing.

>>27292797
>"And when I win..."
"You'll be acting as my personal maid. How are we going omake sure our days off are the same day."

>>27292842
both of them shall be are maid for the day

>>27292842
*going to make sure

>>27292797

>"And when I win..." (specify what you want)

"If I win, we'll make this sparring a regular event. I need to practice with something above a wooden dummy."

>>27292856
ready to please their master in any way they can.

>>27292842
I'll back this if only for the reaction

>>27292876
Seconded. And then when we when we hang out anyways.

>>27292797
"Why not? I guess the inverse holds if I win."

>>27292856
Sylvie's not a betting party here. She would need to agree to this.

>>27292876
It should be regular anyway, and it advantages both of us for it to be so. But it advantages her more if we're better than her, as would be implicit in our victory. Don't make this a betting thing.

>>27292896
When we win*

>>27292797
"Hmm. Well, I do need to improve my sketching..."

>>27292975
OH GOD. YES.

>>27292975
HA. This one sounds good.

>>27292975

Heh I'll support this. If only because it''s true.

>>27293000
>>27293012
>>27293016
With Nicollete and Sylvie.

Both suitably... lacking in the wardrobe department.

...what? its art!

>>27292975

Let's not broach that until we're at least a bit better at it. Last thing we want is to have them pose for a while and then deliver a subpar result.

>>27292975
Must... resist...
Urge to change vote... rising...

Ok, done, changing from >>27292896

>>27293036
Sylvie is still not a betting party.

And let's keep the bet friendly, not potentially offensive.

>>27293037
This is true. Needs to be something that will be reasonably flattering.

>writing

>>27293037
Then just have it on hold, it doesn't need to be tonight.

>>27293076

Fair enough.

>>27293062
you are one dense motherfucker.

>>27293150
>>27293062
>>27293036

Eh, I don't blame him.

Some quests on /tg/ are like that, after all.

Plus the internet does not accurately convey humor

all though I thought the excessive punctuation would help

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>>27293150
Poe's Law, and all.

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"Hm... well, I would like to improve my sketching..." you say as you sratch your chin.
"Eh?" Nicolette replies, confused.
"Alright, how about this? When I win, you'll let me sketch you."

Upon hearing your comment, Sylvie freaks out.

"REINHOLD THAT'S GOING TOO FAR NICOLETTE'S A LADY AND IT'S NOT PROPER TO-" she stammers.
"...uh, I didn't mean that in any kind of weird way..." you say, looking at her with a puzzled expression.
"As long as it's not any kind of perverted shit, I guess that'd be okay," Nicolette says.

Seeing that she's being completely ignored in this situation, Sylvie gives up her protests and sighs deeply.

"ALRIGHT, REINHOLD! I ACCEPT YOUR CONDITIONS!" Nicolette shouts, reverting to the previous performance-mode.
"AS YOU WISH, NICOLETTE!" you join in, extending your arm.

Nicolette takes your hand in hers and gives you a firm handshake of agreement, a mad grin on her face the entire time.

>[1/2]

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>>27293329
>[2/2]

At that moment, a guard approaches you while holding a wooden sword and staff.

"Here you go, sir!"

The two of you take your weapons and head to the center of the training yard.

"It's not too late to stop, you know," Nicolette taunts.
"Same goes for you," you reply.
"First to five?" she asks.
"Fine with me."
"Alright, then. Sylvie, you're the referee!" she shouts.
"O- okay!" Sylvie says as she hurries to where the two of you are.

You take your wooden practice sword and do some flashy swings, ending in a proper sword stance.
"COME THEN, NICOLETTE! LET US CONDUCT THIS CONFRONTATION WITH HONOR!" you shout.

Following your example, Nicolette twirls her staff around like a baton before taking a low stance. "VERY WELL, REINHOLD!" she exclaims. "YOU SHALL REGRET THE DAY YOU CHALLENGED ME!"

>roll 1d20, taking the first three rolls

>>27293533

Start on the offensive, let's not give her a chance to take advantage of her reach.

Rolled 1

>>27293533
Oh shit we have to roll dice.

This is where it all falls apart.

Rolled 4

>>27293545

And didn't roll, whoops

Rolled 10

>>27293533
Get inside her guard.

Rolled 17

>>27293533
GOGOGO

Rolled 15

>>27293533

>>27293553
>nat 1

Anyone got the edited gif where Lancer impales himself?

Rolled 3

>>27293561

We are rolling... poorly.

>>27293533
We're the best right? Hopefully this is just how close it is.

>>27293553
>.>

>>27293579
But it's us who's getting stabbed.

>>27293553
>Oh shit we have to roll dice.
you really shouldnt

>>27293594
Looks like being Lancer isn't always suffering.

>>27293567
For fuck's sake, I finally get it to work on my first try and I'm fucking fourth

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>>27293598
Heyyyy, I got a 20 in another quest just a few minutes ago, its not like I always roll bad!

>>27293634

Yeah, and I'm just getting my bad rolls out of the way while losing leads to hijinx and not, you know, stabbings.

Totally intentional. Totally.

Rolled 1

>>27293533
Rollin
Get into stance to receive her staff

>>27293553
Well no wonder, you need to wait until your dice are recharged.

Read Fafrhd and the grey mouser, cause that what this thread is about.

>>27293553
So much for Luck stats, eh...

>>27293664
Wrong stance.
Wrong type of staff.
Get it together Anon.

>>27293565
How's the best roll feel?

>we roll literally half our expected average, a fiver percent chance
Damn. We're a good fighter but probably not good enough to do that shittily and still beat the captain of the Palace Guard. Unless she rolls even worse.

>>27293699
It's kind of hard to roll lower than a 1 when 1 is the lowest you can roll.

Maybe we've got such a sweet nasty static modifier it won't matter!

[crying intensifies]

>>27293699
I seem she really wants us to go shopping with her.

>>27293687
Thoroughly average.

My hope is that this is only the first blow of the battle, not the entire thing.

...hopefully. Maybe.

>>27293714
We're using the first three. Sparring to five isn't decided in three rolls.

Actually, even getting a first point isn't usually decided in just one action.

Maybe we are in Bizarro Dice World
Where 1 is the highest roll and we are the best rollers ever

>>27293721
The good news is maybe we'll get to stop by the totally-not-fantasy-version-of-victoria's-secret and we get to check 'em out. Or maybe we just get to haul around a bunch of shit.

Doesn't matter either way. It would be unfortunate if we got our ass beaten like a red headed stepchild, but since the long game is just to hang out w/ the babes it really doesn't matter win or lose. Besides, if we lost we can have a sweet training montage for vengeance.

>>27293747
That's a good point.
But do you really, REALLY want to spend the next dozen posts sparring?
I'd be happy with a close spar, one way or the other, and then getting on with Rienholt's life

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Like a flash, Nicolette lunges at you with her staff at top speed, even faster than the vast majority of the swordsmen that you faced in the tournament. Seeing it coming, you try and sidestep her thrust so that you can close the distance between you...

...but your foot slips.

Your eyes go wide with shock as you start to lose your footing... but your fall is stopped.

By Nicolette's staff. As it hits you square in the chest.

The hit is completely clean, and you are sent flying back, tumbling over yourself backwards several times before you finally land on your back.

"Shit..." you mumble to yourself.
"Um, one for Nicolette!" you hear Sylvie shout as you slowly rise to your feet.
"Eheh... wanna just call it a loss now and spare yourself some pain?" Nicolette taunts, a wicked grin on her face.
"Not a chance," you reply as you dust yourself off and get back into your stance.

>plan your next move

>>27293788
Not really. As long as it's entertaining, winning or losing doesn't really matter.

It's not like the bet is punishing or anything.

>>27293819
>step 1: hold sword
>step 2: whack Nicolette with it
>step 3: goto 1, repeat until win.

Rolled 19

>>27293843
sounds like a plan.

>>27293819
Dodge and counter. She's pretty aggressive, so that should work.

>>27293843
Step 1 A, don't slip.

Rolled 14

>>27293843
This with this
>>27293859
>step 4: Don't let her whack us

>>27293882
>Step 5: Acquire turkey legs

Alright.
>two rolls already, so one more and then writing

Rolled 5

>>27293898
let's go!

>>27293856
>>27293882
>>27293905
Overall, well above average.

Operation whack-her-and-don't-get-whacked just might work!

Rolled 1

>>27293898

>>27293930
ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

>>27293930
Oh, whoops.
Least we got that out of the way.

>>27293930

Get a load of this guy

>>27293930
LUCK STAT EX

>>27293930
Good thing that is the 4th roll.

>>27293930
It's all good, he was 4

>>27293957
At least it wasn't one of the first three!

Hey, we maybe got it this time.

>>27293973
>>27293974
>>27293983
4mind

>004
heh

>>27293843
We know more about fighting than just that.

The big thing we need.to do is close distance so we can fight effectively. Knock her spear out of the way, step in, then whack her.

>>27294032
Reinhard knows swordfighting. I don't have a fucking clue. Keep it simple, baby, and let arch write the cool stuff.

Having learned from that first painful blow, you've realized that Nicolette likes to take the offensive. Making sure that you actually have proper footing, you ready yourself...

"HAAA!!" Nicolette shouts, lunging at you once again.

But you're ready for it this time, dodging to the right and causing her to miss you entirely, then dashing in to negate her reach advantage. Nicolette tries to jump back once she realizes that her initial attack missed...

...but she's too late.

Making a horizontal slash, you hit her on her side.

"Point for Reinhold!" Sylvie shouts, as Nicolette scowls and reassumes her stance.

>roll 1d20, feel free to strategize

Rolled 1

>>27294082
I feel like the current strategy of "Bet her up," is working pretty well.

Rolled 10

>>27294082

>>27294100
WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS.

Rolled 6

>>27294100
Aww fuck

Rolled 13

>>27294082
take a couple steps back and prepare for her next attack

>>27294100
I am laughing so hard right now.

Rolled 6

>>27294100
no thanks
>>27294082
Defensive seems to be working, but also do a few fake-outs to try and get her to swing,

What the fuck man

Rolled 1

>>27294082
Try to get inside her guard, her weapon is much longer and thus not suited to knife-fight distance.

I have no idea how spearfighting works, I'm a decent fencer but if I had to fight a Lancer I'd probably just scream and die. They don't teach this shit anymore.

>>27294118
Yeah, let's play this like a counterfighter. dodge/parry her first blow and then move in.

All these ones are making me feel bad.

>>27294147

I've seen more ones in these last two actions than in most threads. People really wanna go shopping eh?

>>27294100
>>27294133

You know what? Fuck this, I'm calling foul play. Can anyone confirm to me that these fucks aren't using that invisible text to get us ones?

>>27294133
i -think- a valid technique is to grab the spear and pull the enemy close to you (making him/her lose her footing)

>>27294100
>>27294133
I think she stole our Luck stat. 'Cause this shit is ridiculous.

>>27294160
Text confirmed, those are real rolls. Now shush and let us do a mediocre job at fighting.

Rolled 13

I have a great idea that in now way wil back fire so lets reroll for SWORD THROW ATTACK

Nicolette does another lunge at you, but you manage to dodge it once again, this time ducking in low and parrying her staff as you close the distance. As you swing at her, she makes a long leap to the side, spins around, and...

WHACK

Her staff hits you right in the side of your face, and you fall down HARD.

"Two for Nicolette!" you hear Sylvie's muffled shout, your ears ringing.

Clutching the side of your face, you get back up.

>roll again, folks.

Rolled 8

>>27294205
SURELY WE'RE DUE FOR A 20 SOON, RIGHT?

Rolled 8

>>27294205

Rolled 1

>>27294205

Rolled 15

>>27294205
SWORD THROW ATTACK

>>27294210
>>27294213
>>27294214
THIS
THIS IS HOW WE DIE
/thread

>>27294214
I am going to flip a fucking table this is some stupid shit goin' on right now.

Failing has never been less fun, this is gonna keep happening.

Rolled 5

>>27294214
FUCK'S SAKES

Rolled 2

>>27294205

>>27294214
why did I roll

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>>27294214

>>27294214
fuck this bullshit, this is getting stupid

Rolled 6

>>27294205
Get in close, alternate between low, high strikes.

>>27294210
>>27294213
>>27294214
our balls
i feel like our balls are going to get hurt

>>27294215
I REQUEST THIS ONE

>>27294214
IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

It's one of those fucking nights, look at all of these rolls. All of them.

maybe if you all devoted yourself to SWORD THROW ATTACK this wouldnt be happening

>>27294214
Clearly we lose our power when fighting women. It's the only explanation.

>>27294214
Jesus Christ, man.

>>27294255
I DECLARE YOU MY LEIGE

Rolled 18

>>27294210
>>27294213
>>27294214
Fucking /tg/ dice.Unless she rolls like shit, we're gonna be down 3-1 here. We need some way to strategize beyond just "hope for good dice".

This disappointment is taking all my fun away.

>>27294256
it's like trying to watch volleyball or women's track. After a while all you watch are bouncin' titties.

>>27294214
IT ALL COMES TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN TUMBLING DOWN

>>27294268
My Champion my first decree as your liege is to master SWORD THROW ATTACK

Clearly her superior food tolerance is giving her an edge. All that lasagna we just ate is slowing us down.

>>27294271
Can any level of strategy survive against repeated critfails?

>>27294294
she must be in league with the cook

>>27294287
13,13,15
I accept these rolls on behalf of SWORD THROW ATTACK

>>27294241
>>27294233
>>27294242
>>27294245
>>27294249
>>27294250
>>27294271
>>27294277

All of you relax. Can't you see this is the perfect opportunity?

We spend the day as a gofer, building rapport with humor and good-natured antics. Afterward, we ask Nicolette if she minds if we sketch her anyway. And having schmoozed the fine lady, she stands a good chance of agreeing, thereby demonstrating a growing and potentially romantic attachment.

>>27294257

Archelon man, you gotta start taking mercy on these ones. This thread has clearly been cursed by an evil warlock or some shit.

>>27294287
You heard him peons! When he asks what we do before bed? SWORD THROW ATTACK!
Wake up early? SWORD THROW ATTACK!

>>27294312

It's about getting humiliated in front of everyone. I could care less about the bet.

>>27294312
good plan anon

>>27294312
Eh, I like Nicolette better than the princess anyway.

...Seriously, what are you people THINKING by shacking up with her?

Rolled 19

>>27294295
Well, it should be able to. The system clearly isn't a good one - the dice matter more than anything we're doing. Part of this is because we're just rolling then getting a combat round. Would be better if she does something and then we can react while rolling, rather than "you're on the ground, roll for next combat phase."

>>27294315
You have a very good point there. Clearly someone has angered a warlock/gypsy/gypsy warlock.

>>27294331
I don't think anyone is still rooting for princess, and those that are are either Tsunderefags or, if they survived from the first thread, Rapefantasyfags.

I'm pretty well in the Lancerfag territory atm

>>27294345
fucking taunting us with these rolls

>>27294331
I think the joke is they're not.

>>27294345
STOP WASTING GOOD ROLLS

and she should be around our "level" right? so that kinda makes sense

>>27294348
It feels like every third cat I fuck is somebody's familiar. This curse might be my fault guys.

You place your hand over the side of you face that got hit and then look at it... thankfully, it isn't bleeding.

It does hurt like hell though, and your ear is ringing something fierce.

Ignoring the pain, you dash towards Nicolette, your sword at the ready to parry whatever she might do. Once you get in close enough, you do a feint and then a proper slash from another direction...

...but Nicolette doesn't fall for the feint, jumping back and and evading you entirely.

As you move to keep her in view, you feel something...

CRACK

Her staff hits your shin hard and keeps on going, your entire world going sideways as you fall to the ground.

"Three for Nicolette!" Sylvie shouts.

>roll again, taking the next 1 as a regular 1 and not a critfail because this shit ain't fun.

>>27294366

>wasting rolls

Rolled 14

>>27294386
WIN NOW

Rolled 13

>>27294386

ROLLING THIS TIME WITH ALL MY HEART!

Rolled 13

>>27294386

Rolling!

Rolled 1

>>27294386
by the power of greyskull!

>>27294386
SWORD THROW ATTACK

Rolled 4

>>27294386
sigh. 'ere we go boss.

Rolled 19

>>27294366
That doesn't change the "just rolling without strategy isn't fun" problem.

>>27294395
>>27294396
...Wow, just fucking wow.

Rolled 2

>>27294386
disarming strikes.

>>27294398
My kingdom for a twenty!

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>>27294393
>>27294395
>>27294396

Alrighty!

>>27294398

YOU ARE NOT HE-MAN

>>27294393
SWORD THROW ATTACK FOR MY LIEGE

Rolled 17

>>27294399
fuckin forgot it

Rolled 15

>>27294402
>>27294345
Seems ever roll I make that isn't counted is really good.

>>27294398
HAHAHA FUCK YOU

>>27294395
>>27294396
Mathematically good but that shit ain't lucky.

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>>27294398

Rolled 14

>>27294398

What the fuck is even happening here. Thank god we rolled quick.

This is really like my chinese cartoons: our future waifu is automatically going to wreck our shit, when we're supposed to be a master swordman.

I look forward to the tripping/accidental peeping scene at some point in the future, helped by the curse of the Dice Gods.

>>27294417
That was my roll, btw. I can call this

>>27294428
The dice are the most weeaboo of us all, who knew.

Rolled 15

>>27294386

Welp, it seems our normal strategies don't work.

It is time to go for strategy #2

Beat her with the sword HARDER.

And try to get closer.

At this rate I'll be impressed if we manage to get three hits total on her. The ones are flowing.

>>27294460

I think we got a good hit in on that last roll. Maybe. We seem to be accumulating damage fairly quickly thanks to those 1s.

Rolled 11

Now we get two more hits, she gets one more, we get another, and then winner takes all - which we end up losing due to some outside circumstance.

"You sure you don't just wanna give up? I'm starting to feel kind of bad, beating on a friend like this," Nicolette says to you.
"The answer's still no," you reply as you get back up.
"Alright, then..." she says, getting back into position.

She lunges at you once more. You jump back, knocking her staff up with your sword and then dashing in to finish it. But as you swing, Nicolette regains her balance and blocks your hit, forcing you back.

Before she can regain the distance advantage, you move in again and hold your sword close to you... she takes the bait and thrusts at you, but you step out of the way, spin your sword around her staff, and...

"Wha!?"

Nicolette's staff goes flying, and she just looks on in shock as you run in and tap her on her shoulder.

"Two for Reinhold!"

>nice strategery! NOW ROLL AGAIN

Rolled 9

>>27294533
Rolling

Rolled 9

>>27294533

I'm still scared.

Rolled 18

>>27294533
How can I hold all these nat 1s?

Rolled 17

>>27294533

Rolled 5

>>27294533
"Sheath" our sword, then when she gets close, strike.

Rolled 7

Oh gods in heaven i beseech thee FOR A THROW SWORD ATTACK

Rolled 5

>>27294533
At least we got the hang of this.

>>27294548
based 18! Gonna be a 4-4 tie isn't it.

>>27294533
Lets get aggressive, don't give her time to regain momentum.

Try to press the advantage.

Rolled 16

>>27294533

I FEEL THE DICE FLOWING THROUGH ME!

Rolled 9

>>27294533

Strategy: do more stuff like that.

Next time, pretend to be faltering a bit.

>>27294544
>>27294547
>>27294533

Dubs for dubs is a crit right?

Rolled 13

>>27294533
We're going to see the end of it, dammit.

Rolled 6

This might go to the ninth hit! Exciting.

>>27294573
you wish it was.

>>27294553
I already gave you one, my Liege! But my captcha betrayed me this day.

>>27294600
We do.

>>27294533
Try to get in close and when we lock our sword with her staff step on one of her feet and body check her to knock her off balance, maybe falling over and get a hit in. Use the fact that we're likely bigger than her.

Rolled 3

>>27294606
Worry not my champion, our faith in SWORD THROW ATTACK will not be shaken

Rolled 10

>>27294600
Clearly you need to build an Ogre Civ styled table.

>>27294600

But look at all the repeating numbers, even you''re doing it.

>>27294631
Glory will be ours this day!

OP, this is why a system would be good. Something like what Gundam X quest has would be excellent.

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>>27294573
>>27294643
Hi. Welcome to /tg/. We don't do that here.

>>27294694
Oh not this shit again...

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Rolled 14

>>27294631

>>27294706

It would be nice to have all these training activities reflected in our performance. With a pure roll system we could spend the whole day shoving donuts down our throat and still fight as well as someone who trains every day. Unless there's a hidden modifier that we're not seeing, of course.

>>27294712
Who are you and how dare you interrupt my Leige!

>>27294734
Well I would assume there is, thats just logical.

Rolled 11

>>27294632
I think we need to kick reason to the curb a little harder before we can unleash that kind of unlimited awesome.

Muttering curses under her breath, Nicolette walks over and picks up her staff.

"Fucking sweat got on my fucking hands and fucked up my fucking grip..." she mumbles as she gets back into her stance.

You take the initiative this time, rushing in before Nicolette can react. But she's ready for you, forcing you off with her staff before you can get in range. Then she tries for another leg sweep, but you jump over it and force her staff into the ground with your sword, trailing it right into striking range...

...but she makes another long leap to the side before you can strike, then doing an upward swing at you as hard as she can.

You try and parry it, but your footing is off... and your sword goes flying.

"HA, THIS IS GONNA BE NUMBER FOUR!" she shouts as she lunges in at you.

Making a mad leap out of the way, you land on the ground and reach for your sword... but Nicolette's doing a vertical swing right down onto you. You roll out of the way, grab your sword, and...

...chuck it right at her.

Shocked at what you just did, Nicolette freezes for a splitsecond...

...and it hits her right in the stomach.

"...umm... Three for Reinhold!" Syvie shouts.
"What the FUCK was that!?" Nicolette screams, glaring at you.

>rollin rollin rollin