Rolled 54

>>27381522

We did a few internships here and there.

>>27381522
I eat the phone and try to commit suicide with the laptop.

Previous job was retard caretaker in a special school.

>>27381650
>>27381781

> 54: mid-range university degree

Wow, you actually do have a degree, and worked a few scattered jobs here and there. You did unpaid, or semi-paid, internships with some charities, and even worked in a special school for a few months, until the Purple Knob Incident.

The phone is not very tasty, and not very palatable indeed. As for the laptop, how do you intend to commit suicide with it? Just then the phone buzzes in your mouth. You take it out, and notice to your surprise that two people have messaged you, both asking what's up.

One's Aaron, someone you knew from university, who's a bro but also a bit of a troublemaker; and the other's Bethany, who worked with you on a project in a homeless shelter. Huh. This must be a special day if two people are asking after you.

> What do? Reply? Check laptop?

>>27381522
Continue

>>27381825
Ignore phone and start bating

Rolled 91

>>27381825
Reply to both "Hey babe, wanna fuck?".
Look up suicide ideas on Google while waiting for their answers.

>>27381868

Second this, and talk to flatmate.

>>27381930
>>27381868
>>27381842
>>27381870

You consider messaging them something rude, but then decide you can do it later and go out to get a shower instead. Passing the kitchen, you consider going to talk to Jon, your flatmate...

'I told you, the fucking deal is fucking off!'

... okay maybe not. The shower turns into a bath, and you sit in the bath, tracking how wrinkly your fingers and scrotum get. Not bad, actually. That's quite wrinkly.

> Roll 91: you have considerable skill in 1 endeavour.
> What is that endeavour?

>>27381870
>"Hey babe, wanna fuck?".
send this to both as reply. then send bethany a message saying "Sorry, i sent you that accidentally. Nothing much, idling around. Whats up with you?"

>>27382037
To believe in myself, self confidence is key.

Rolled 63

>>27382037
I'm skilled in fighting.
I get out the bath, and go jump him, naked. I try to strangle him.

Rolled 76

>>27382037
i can walk on handstand for five hours nonstop.

>>27382045

This, and also, we are good at playing the bass.

>>27382037

>Murder

Rolled 3

>>27382108
if we are gonna play something it gotta be the saxaphone.

Rolled 97

>>27382037

I'm master of martial arts.

>>27382045
>>27382108

> Handstand, fighting, or musical instrument. Choose one.
> Actually would handstands be part of fighting? Hmm.

After a while, Jon starts hammering on the toilet door. 'Damn it, I need the loo!'

'Come in then, the door isn't locked.'

That's a decision you regret. It turns out he isn't pissing, but passing a huge one that smells like goat sweat mixed with beelzebub's semen in a warm tank of durian. It only takes two minutes before you give up, get out and change in front of him.

'Shit, man, you're gross. So what are you up to?'

This is like the first time in a week you've talked to him. Dear god that smells awful.

> What do/say to him?
> Or ignore and go to phone?

Rolled 47

>>27382178

"BY GAWD!!!! YOU SMELL HORRIBLY!!!! Go to bath NOW!!!!"

And then we toss him into the bathtub.

Rolled 88

>>27382178
Grab his head, put it down the shitter and flush it.

>>27382178

Pull him into the bath with us. No homo. Who am I kidding?

>>27382178

> Also, choose the speciality, I might remind you.

Rolled 59

>>27382178
>Lets go wşth handstand.cause why not.
"Trying to get laid for a change, im kinda bored. By the way, get your insides checked man. I think they've gone bad!"

Rolled 36

>>27382222

Fighting!!!

>>27382226

Second! Fighting!

>>27382255
>>27382226

> You're very good with your fists. And you're even better when you're drunk. A regular pub brawler, is what you are.

You turn around to the man who just called you gross. 'God, you say I'm gross? You smell horrible!'

With that, you lunge for him and grab his shoulders. Before he can even react - and it's not like he can do much to you anyway - you haul him off the toilet bowl and heave him into the bath. It's quite well timed, so at least he doesn't foul the floor of your *shared* bathroom, but he thrashes wildly in the warm water, crumpled in a heap.

'You fucking bastard! What the fuck was that! Fuuuck!'

Closing the door you text both Bethany and Aaron asking to fuck. Then you text Bethany saying it was a mistake, and what's up. Soon your phone tells you she read it. And then, to your surprise, that she's writing a response.

> Roll d100.
> Meanwhile, what do? It's been flashing for... some time. And Jon is still hollering. The walls here are papier mache, you swear...

Rolled 26

>>27382300
go eat a champion's breakfast.

Rolled 79

>>27382300
I wait by the bathroom door, pull down my zipper and start masturbating. I aim for where Jon's head's going to be soon.

File: 1379954101931.jpg-(78 KB, 838x1266, breakfastofchampions.jpg)

78 KB JPG

Rolled 65

>>27382327
>champion's breakfast
hmmm! yummm!

Rolled 2

>>27382300

Go and eat breakfast, we need some energy.

>>27382386
>>27382353
>>27382327

You've got CORNFLAKES. Did you know that they used to be an anti-masturbation food? It didn't fucking work!

Who told you this, you don't even remember.

Since you don't have normal milk, you are forced to use condensed milk, which turns the cornflakes into a gooey, sweet mass of pure energy and fibre and not-wanking. Stirring the thing with a spoon, you then decide to add tea to it, because you've got not much to lose now that you haven't a job.

The result is the devil's own pick-me-up. You swear the phone is trembling in your hands when you get the reply from Bethany.

'No problem! Are you free today? Wanna help me move house? :)'

Huh. Well, after a breakfast of that sheer magnitude, you don't think it'd be a bad thing to do. But it's up to you. You're free. Free!

> What reply?

Rolled 73

>>27382460
Does Jon has a mug or something on he table?
I want to piss in it.

Also reply to the bitch I'll help if she sucks.

>>27382460
"Well, if Aaron replies negatively to my text, sure i'll come and help. It would be rude to offer to fuck and then go somewhere else if he accepts after all. I'll let you know in about an hour ."

>>27382525

This, sure.

Then we find a job that needs boxing.

>>27382525
>>27382583
>>27382520

After you type that reply, she quickly replies saying 'no problem'.

By then you've finished your breakfast and the world seems to be moving slower than usual around you. You glance around for Jon's mug but he must have taken it to his room. Anyway your bladder is empty.

Jon then comes into the kitchen, fuming and dripping wet. 'You son of a bitch!' he says, rolling up his bathrobe sleeves. He doesn't know your skill, that's for sure, the little... pharmacist, you think? Or consultant, or something like that?

> Hold off. You don't want no trouble. Go back to room.
> Lamp him.
> Other.

Rolled 66

>>27382628
"I don't want no trabbu!"
But I firmly grab the chair, ready to use it as an improvised weapon.

Rolled 45

>>27382628
>> Lamp him.

>>27382684
>>27382654

> Draw. Need tiebreaker!

Jon advances on you just as you see the phone flash. Aaron says 'haha, fuck off mate'.

Bethany it is then!

>>27382819

Lamp him!

Rolled 100

>>27382819
I KNOW.
Grab Jon and fuck him in the ass.

>>27382893
>>27382684
>>27382654

You grab the chair, but it's a bit too heavy to swing. 'Oi, I don't want any trouble-'

He launches a punch that connects, except it's with your shoulder instead of your face. Fucker can't even punch straight! You take it without trouble, you've taken naps that are harder than that.

But the right hook you return is another matter entirely. It connects with Jon's left cheek, and he gives a soft grunt before sprawling over the dining table, arms twitching and body still.

Fuck. You haven't killed him, you hope...

Bethany says to meet her in the city centre in 2 hours. 'Maybe after you help we move we could hang out?'

> What do/say?
> If nothing, I'll timeskip to meeting Bethany.

File: 1379957242365.jpg-(41 KB, 642x361, Bake12_Scared.jpg)

41 KB JPG

>>27382912

>>27382912

> Crit roll will be saved.

Rolled 48

>>27382941
>>27382972
FUCK HIM IN THE ASS.

>>27382941

Check laptop! Look for fighting jobs.

Dress well and go to bethany.

>>27382941
take pictures of us tea bagging him?

Rolled 2

>>27383008
>>27383033
AND TAKE PICTURES, YES.

>>27383008
>>27383033
>>27383041
>>27383031

A horrible thought crosses your mind, and you reach for Jon's boxers and pull them down in a single mo-

Wait a fucking minute. That's... that's not a penis. That is definitely not... you... Jon... okay. You pull the boxers back up again, just as Jon begins to stir from his, uh, her temporary incapacitation and turns around.

'The fuck... are you doing?'

> Well, you learn something new every day.
> What do/say?

>>27383141
>> Well, you learn something new every day.

Rolled 59

>>27383141
IS IT A HOLE? IF SO I FUCK IT.
IF IT'S NOT, I ROLL HIM ON HIS BELLY SO I CAN ACCESS HIS ASS.

>>27383141
"Your not getting those electrodes on my nuts again you dirty fucking sand nigger. "
*Stare at him in the eyes as I continue to eat the delicious cereal.*

>>27383141

"Sorry... I did it by pure reflexes... I had a very crazy sensei... Are you sure that you are still a guy?"

>>27382912
> 100
> will of the gods

>>27383247
>>27383209
>>27383190

You get a sudden, strange flashback to a memory you're pretty sure is fake. Someone attaching crocodile clips to your bollocks.

Your cereal's finished, and so with nothing to eat you simply sit down and look at Jon, who's gotten on her feet and pulled the bathrobe together. Huh. Now that you know her gender, her legs do look very long and appealing. But why does she wear boxers under her bathrobe?

'I did that by pure reflexes, mate, I'm sorry.'

'Well, you're pretty good actually, I wasn't expecting that.' She grins and comes up to you, and you can only stare as her hand holding the bathrobe together lets go, giving you a view of - well, a pretty flat chest, and a very trim belly. And then-

> Roll d100. Or use the crit?

Rolled 33

>>27383316
USE THE CRIT.
TIME FOR ANAL.

>>27383316
crit crit crit

>>27383316
Use Crit

"Bbbb...but... We are room-mate... it is ok we do this...?"

>>27383316
Do you know of any leprechauns?

>>27383339
>>27383373
>>27383409

> Crit used!
> 100!

Having considered violating Jon for fun just a few moments ago, you are surprised by this show of openness, and for some reason it feels more wrong to you. 'Wait, but we're flat mates... should I-'

And then you realise what it is, as the bathrobe opens and she advances. You catch the briefest glimpse of her modest assets, before her fist hurtles at you with great speed, but you raise your hand and catch it just inches before it connects with your face.

'Whoa-'

You jump to your feet from instinct and counterattack, and Jon raises her hand to block as well, catching your fist. And that is when you stumble from the force of your all-out thrown punch. Her face is a picture of surprise, and then she is on her back, with you just above her. Well done! You even managed to keep yourself from falling on her, if only by a few centimetres.

Jon's surprised look turns into a small grin. 'So. What're you up to this evening?'

> What do/say?

Everytime I read someone talking I can't help but read in a weird british accent. Is it ok?

>>27383468
Helping Bethany with something. Will fuck her later then I'll come back and fuck you, mate.

Rolled 2

>>27383468
"little mischief little mayhem, you know the usual how about you?"

Rolled 72

>>27383468
REACH INTO ITS PANTS.

>>27383508

> It's fine mate, they was all speakin' proppa English inni'?

>>27383538
That is horribly accurate
God I hate my country sometimes

"Spoken word poetry about gender specific norms which should be held accountable to all members of society"

>>27383564
>>27383508
>>27383515
>>27383519

You sit up, letting go of each other's hands. Jon's torso is mostly exposed to you - it's the body of an athlete, that's for sure, firm and lithe.

'Oh, I'm just helping a friend move. Then maybe I'll hang out with her,' you say, trying to hide the fact that you are pitching a semi right now. 'So, a little mischief, a little mayhem, you know... how about you?'

'A little mischief and mayhem, eh?' Jon's eyes narrow. 'Actually... want to go for dinner with me later today? Or something after dinner?'

Huh.

'Also, you can call me Joanna from now,' she says, getting to her feet and tying the bathrobe.'

> What do/say?
> If nothing, we go to bethany's.

>>27383660
Dinner it is mate

>>27383660
Go to Bethany' our job here is done. If we have money we can pick up a 6 pack on the way.

Rolled 14

>>27383660
Go to Bethany, help her and ask if she'll pay in kind.

>>27383689
>>27383701
>>27383715

'All right, dinner it is then,' you say, grinning as well. Huh. Things have suddenly become... better.

'Bring your fists,' Joanna says, waving to you. 'Be ready to use them.'

What...

You go and get a 6 pack of discount BASKA beer, get on the bus and the underground, and soon Bethany is greeting you at the station entrance. She looks quite the same as always - a blonde girl, full figured, with plenty of hippie stuff on her, from the earrings to the bracelets. None of the hippie lack of hygiene, though, which is nice.

'Hey, I'm so glad you came!' She looks down. 'And you even got me that?!'

'Well, just for hanging out, I suppose,' you say.

'Great! Well. We just need to load the stuff into this van, which I borrowed. Then I'll drive, and we unload it.' It doesn't sound too hard, and given that most of her stuff is small - no furniture - easy.

'Where're you moving to?'

'Oh, Blinder's Green.'

Wait, what? That's one of the worst parts of an already very bad city!

> Chat her up continuously while working.
> Get to work, you lazy sod.
> Other.

>>27383860
"You know, that area is pretty piss poor you can come live with me and my mate till you find a new place."

>>27383860
why you moving to this shit place mate. do you wanna get shanked?

Is this how british people talk? I have no idea.

>>27383927
second this. Ask her why she's moving first, then make the offer.

>>27384039
>>27383950
>>27383927

> Close, but not really, no.

The hauling isn't hard; it's the going down three flights of stairs that's difficult. But you do manage.

'Blinder's Green?' You say while hauling. 'But that's like the stabbing capital of the city! Why're you even going there?'

'Well, it's cheap innit,' she says, shrugging in resignation. 'And it's relatively close to where I work now, in the homeless shelter.'

Seriously, she's flirting with danger both in and out of work. 'Well, why don't you come to live with me and my mate and look elsewhere?'

'But you live awfully far away, don't you?' That's a pretty gentle shoot-down.

> Press the point. Better a long commute than murder/rape/mugging.
> Leave it, the van's almost getting filled.

Rolled 28

>>27384050
Press the point.
We could have regular threesomes!

>>27384050
Rape her and saying it's practice for her new place.

Rolled 23

Get out phone, post on /tg/ asking them what to do.

>>27384065

This! It's all for her 'safety'.

>>27384065
>your first reaction was eat the phone and laptop suicide
>now you want to have regular threesomes

BEST QUEST EVER

>>27384065
>>27384116
>>27384142
>>27384093

You get out the phone, go on tg to ask them what to do while waiting for Beth to bring down the final load of stuff, and receive several responses to paint her more carefully, turn her into a magical girl or enslave her.

Need a better advice source, mate, you do. 'All right then,' Beth says, stuffing the back of the van. 'Get in.'

Sitting beside her in the rather cramped van as she drives off, you press your point. 'It's a long commute, but I'd rather take a long commute than be stabbed, right? I mean, that place is dangerous. And with the cuts and the rising crime and all that, it's just... my side's safer, is for sure.'

'Are you sure this isn't motivated by something else?'

You look at her. Her shirt's pretty loose-fitting, and you can see more of her figure than you expected. Nice.

'Anyway,' she says, grinning, 'I pack pepper spray all the time. But I'll consider your offer if it's less than 400 a month.'

You could do that, you suppose...

> What do/say on the drive to Blinder's Green? It's about 40 minutes off, man.

>>27384142

Yeah, life's lookin' up eh? The difference a day and a reverse trap makes.

Rolled 28

>>27384231
Offer her 399 a month.

Is there a tree on the side of the road? We could crash the van in.
Or speed up on the wrong side of the road.

>>27384231
Make crudely racist jokes about asians

>>27384231

flirt with her.

>>27384231
whistle the pink panter song.

>>27384341
>>27384324
>>27384277

'Well, for 399 a month, it's possible,' you say.

'I'll consider it! Before I get stabbed or jumped by some dude, of course.'

The two of you exchange some friendly banter about how stingy Asians are, and how they carry around cow and goat carcasses to their butchers just along the street in broad daylight.

'Like a fucking slaughterhouse, man!'

'It is a fucking slaughterhouse. You been to those neighbourhoods at night... I think I used up half my pepper spray there, seriously!' She laughs. 'Oh, you're as funny as ever before, man...'

Maybe it's time for you to say something? If you actually want some action, better start early. The city's already looking worse and worse around you.

> Roll d100 and write-in for flirting. Rolls without write-in not accepted.
> Or keep it to yourself until you get there.

Rolled 48

>>27384410
I take the chloroformed tissue in my pocket and put it on her face.
" Does this tissue smell like chloroform to you? "

Rolled 24

>>27384436

'So, moving and work must be stressful, we ought to relax a little after. With the beer.'

Rolled 76

>>27384410
"You should have guessed it from me being here now, my offer for getting laid was turned down. Man i needed a good fuck!"

>>27384410
they may have some good food at their house, but id rather have you around for a nice rack
somebody roll for me, dunno how. to lazy to read sticky

Rolled 46

>>27384523
There you go.

Rolled 15

>>27384523

fine, fine.

File: 1379964254093.png-(177 KB, 1280x720, 1364021073042.png)

177 KB PNG

Rolled 7

>>27384523
more like to dumb to figure out how

>>27384578
I'm on a phone, don't see an email field

>>27384506
>>27384496
>>27384523
>>27384523

> 76 is a success anyway, so there we are.

'So, you said you wouldn't be coming if you were turned down,' Bethany starts. 'Sucks to be you now I suppose?'

'Yeah, it does! My heart is broken. And all sorts of jazz.' You grin at her. She's a pretty careful driver, but even then the state of the roads is not very good anymore. 'I need to relax and hang out and have some food.'

'Well, there's a fridge in the new place. But probably nothing inside.'

'We've got beer, eh? That's all we need. I could do with other sorts of snacks.'

You stop at a traffic junction and she gives you a look. Then she reaches for your hand and puts it on her shoulder before driving off. 'We'll be there soon,' she says, lightly.

> What do?

>>27384658
Slowly reach down to small of her back going down to her ass. Slip just the fingertips inside her pants. Then go up inside her shirt and reach for her bra and unbuckle er bra.

>>27384658
Contemplate existence. and discuss it. She is a hippie after all

>>27384658
Contemplate your navel

>>27384726
>>27384735
>>27384761
All of this at the same time

>>27384761
>>27384735
>>27384726

You lean back and admire her while she drives. Best not to distract her too much, so you spin little circles on her shoulder and then slide your hands down her back, feeling her through her thin top.

'You do still do that crystal and fortune reading stuff don't you? I saw a pack of those cards just now while hauling your stuff.'

'A little. I just dabble now. I did a reading this morning and that's why I called you.' She squirms as you give her behind a little squeeze. 'Mischievous! Right, we're here!'

Hand still teasing her underwear, you look up to see decrepit looking apartment blocks on either side of you along a narrow street. A large group of youngsters gathered in one corner, some distance away. A few more people nearby, just standing around. There's uncleared rubbish in piles all over. Fucking hell mate.

> Get on with the work.
> Do a little more touring of her body first.
> Other.

Rolled 49

>>27384864
>> Get on with the work.

>>27384864
Scope out potential threats

>>27384864
> Do a little more touring of her body first.

"are you sure we'll find the van here with all the stuff safe after the first trip to your new place?"

>>27384909

This. Keep eye out, and then go on to work.

>>27384986
>>27384909
>>27384902
>>27384896

Beth turns the engine off, and then sidles in your direction, allowing you to explore her bottom and back more thoroughly. 'You're enjoying it, aren't you,' she says.

'Mmm.' Man, you haven't seen any action in far too long. 'You think the van will stay here when we move stuff up? Look at that group of people.'

'They're fine,' she says, then stops your hand from going around the front. A few moments later she opens the door and jumps out. You can see gazes turning in her direction immediately, as if a sheep had just confidently jumped into a wolf's den.

Not like you're not a wolf, though!

The moving doesn't take very long, since this place has got a lift. But the lift smells of piss, and the walkways smell of piss, and the flat... well, okay, the flat doesn't smell so bad. It's got a rather manky looking bed in the bedroom, and a nice looking wooden dining table with some chairs. Pretty simple.

'This whole place for 400 a month?'

'Well, it's Blinder's Green,' Beth replies. Just an hour later you carry the last of her stuff, including her guitar, up and put it in a large pile in the hall. 'Done!' Beth says, jumping into the air, and then gives you a hug and a peck on the cheek, lingering just a little. Man, she smells nice. Feels lovely too.

> What do?

>>27385058
Make sure door is locked, then continue previous activities.

Check pockets/wallet for condoms while we're at it.

>>27385093

You tangle your fingers in her hair and start kissing properly while taking off her top. 'Mm dmm ddrrr mm?'

'Mmm?'

You break off and dash to the door, making sure it is locked; by the time run back into the bedroom Beth, in a bra and her skirt, is fishing in her backpack. 'Right, got one!'

She throws the condom to you. It's nice she has to keep these things with her, you think, and then you stop thinking and get yourself ready, jumping onto her with a growl.

'Man, you sound hungry!' Beth says, laughing.

> What do? Get on with it?
> Roll d100.

Rolled 66

>>27385273
I'm doubtful we can think of anything better to do at this moment.

Here's hoping we don't suffer from erectile disfunction or something equally horrible

Rolled 31

>>27385273
"BITE THE PILLOW, I'M GOING IN RAW."
And I aim for her ass.

Rolled 5

>>27385273

We are KING OF THE BED!!!!

>>27385058
fart nervously if this post ends in dubs

Rolled 44

>>27385273
go full on Don Juan on her

>>27385469

> What on earth does full Don Juan entail? I'm almost afraid to ask, but enlighten me.

>>27385490

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Don_Juan

Rolled 82

>>27385490
Nothing to be afraid of.
We gonna be god of sex on her ass

>>27385594
forgot to turn off the dice, sorry

>>27385594
>>27385469
>>27385308

> 66: Things go smoothly.

The two of you strip off what remaining clothes you have, and you clamber onto her, hand reaching between her legs. Beth has no problem with letting you know you've hit the spot, grunting and clutching you as you work her.

Twisting around, she presents her tits to your attention, and then welcomes you into her. Despite the run-down room, all you can experience right now is Beth's warmth and softness and wetness. Also her claws digging into your back as she cries out loudly.

Soon, you get your own kicks as well, and slump hard onto her sweaty bosom, feeling it heave under you. Beth reaches to tussle your hair, and then helps you get the little rubber bag off your junk.

'Whoo. That was lovely,' she said. 'I take it you haven't had some in ages, eh?'

'Not... really, no.'

Beth grins, hand reaching to stroke your little instrument. Well, 'little' is a bit harsh. Your reasonably-sized instrument.

> Phew! Looks like you've satisfied her. Certainly you're satisfied...
> What do/say? You're lying on/next to her now, playing with her still.

>>27385444
>We are KING OF THE BED!!!!
Well duh, it says so in the OP. The crucial question is /what shall we do in the bed/, right?

>>27385673
>Seraph: The Mission
I don't know what this is but please let that be a thing.

Rolled 84

>>27385661
We go for a round two!
That bitch, Joanna can wait for another hour.

>>27385673

Sounds interesting, that quest.

>>27385661

Try to get her horny again. Finger her.

>>27385777
>>27385706
Aww fuck, that sorry for the slip-up.

>>27385777
>>27385727

You wonder if you should do a little pillow talk, but eventually you just get to kissing her all over instead, reaching to stroke her again while you're at it.

'What, you're still up- ah- for it?'

'Are you?' You grin and close in on her lips. This time both of you take your time, and you caress her, enjoying the little sounds she makes as you move against her.

Then, suddenly, she grabs you and turns around to straddle you, her body rising and falling until you feel yourself running almost to the edge. Then Beth gasps, hands tightening around your shoulder, and just before you lose it she moves to pull you out of her.

'Dude, almost dropped the ball!' She says, but you can hardly hear her. It takes a while before you're tuned back in, and you help her clean up. She then sits, cross-legged and in the nude, on the floor looking at you.

'Well, that's my thanks I suppose? How was it?'

> What do/say? That was... nice.

>>27385913
With a grin
>Let me know when you need more help
Also we should go and meet up wiv Joanna.
So give that hippie a kiss and a slap on the ass and move ourselves from the premises.

>>27385913

Give her the brightest and widen smile, "Do you need to ask...?"

>>27386004
>>27386014

You give a grin. 'Well, I'm glad to be of help.'

'You wanna hang out some other time soon?' Beth says, inching closer towards you into position for a nice, long kiss. 'I take it that's a yes, then?'

'Sure. Call me whenever.' You squeeze her bottom, and she slaps your arse in return, before both of you get dressed and you leave.

It's only when you reach the street level that you realise something. You don't know how to get from Blinder's Green back home. Checking your phone as you walk, you see a message from Joanna.

'Let's meet at Tammy Benton's,' it says. You know where that is, a sort of jazz bar and restaurant not far from where you live-

'Oi!'

You narrowly dodge someone, and then bump straight into another person who shoves you. Damn! Should be paying more attention in this part of town! 'Watch where you're going, man. You think you can bump into my friend and just walk away?'

'20 bucks. I want 20 bucks for that,' the friend says. You're flanked; the young man on your right is reaching for his pocket.

> Damn. What do?

>>27386201
Pull on your lapel, "Code 22, we got confirmation of the mugger, sting trap is a go!"

>>27386201
Grab his wrist and pull his arm around his back. Keep his body between yourself and his friend.

Rolled 90

>>27386201
FIGHT THEM TO DEATH AND RAPE THEM.

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>>27382964

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Rolled 8

>>27386201

Bruce Lee mode!!!!

Rolled 91

>>27386201
"Wanna fyte me u cheeky kunt? I'll fukken dek u in and hook u in the gabber m8, swear on me mum."

Rolled 98

>>27386201
U WOT M8 !
Kick their arse !

>>27386324

> Is that supposed to be in British? It sounds like it...

>>27386332
I believe it is british white trash. I don't remember

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Rolled 55

>>27386332

>>27386332
It's trashy british/australian. My british is off though

>>27386331
>>27386324
>>27386256

> 98, 91: Seriously, mate, wtf?

You smile, which baffles the two slightly. Excellent! That's what you want. Already your body is tensing a little, getting ready to suffer and dish out some agony. Your cock is a little reluctant, but then this is not a job for Mr. Tiddles.

More Mr. Punchywunch and Mr. Smashabash.

'What you smiling at, cheeky- AUUGH Fuck!' the man on your right raises his free hand, jabbing at you, and you grab it. Before he can react, you wrench him around and fold his arm around his back. His other hand grabs the knife in his pocket but you grab his wrist and keep the knife inside. Then you turn around, using the former attacker as a human shield.

'Woah! Woah!' Suddenly the one without a knife is a bit more open to diplomacy. 'Woah okay! That's fine man, we don't want no trouble!'

'Fuck! My shoulder fuck!'

> Give proper beatdown? Resort to diplomacy? Or what?

Rolled 55

>>27386400
Dislocate shoulder, apply victims head to friend's crotch.

>>27386400
Wreck them.

>>27386400
"If the payment for a bump is 20. Ganging up on someone with two guys and bringing a knife into it, lets see, i'll cut you deal and settle on a hundred!"

Rolled 9

>>27386400

"Promise that you leave out of my sight after I left go of your buddy. Otherwise, I'm gonna break all your joints and then crush your balls if you trying any funny."

>>27386508
>>27386457
>>27386349
>>27386378
>>27386388

Yeah I kinda thought so. Huh, surprisingly accurate-sounding.

> Incidentally. As a fighter, do you study a certain lineage of martial arts, or are you just a ferocious brawler with a vicious right hook? I'm kind of working on the assumption of school/lineage.

'Well,' you grin and increase the pressure on your man's shoulder, 'if bumping you costs 20, I think asking for a fight gonna cost you at least 100, you reckon?'

'What? I ain't got a hundred!'

'Well, then you promise to fuck off once I let your friend go, yeah? Or I do it properly the next time you come at me.' When he nods, you pull the held guy's hand out of his pocket and away from the knife, then send him barrelling into his friend head first with a mighty shove.

'Fuck off, Fergus, fuck off!' They scramble over each other and attempt to run, and you hear laughter from behind you. It's a bunch of civvies, who seem quite glad you've shown those two punks what for.

'You guys know how to get to Riddenham?'

Soon you're on the bus to Riddenham, upstairs, watching the town get nicer again as the bus gets the fuck out of the shitty suburbs. It's strange how neighbourhoods in the city get nice, then shit, then nice. Looking around, you see a small group of highschool kids talking in a corner, two couples cuddling, two or three guys and girls sitting alone. Your normal, late afternoon bus.

> Do anything? Approach anyone? Eyeball anyone?
> Or just get on to Riddenham and Tammy Benton's?

>>27386597
Just go.

>>27386597
Lets just get on.

>>27386632
>>27386639

> How about the school vs. brawler thing? Do you attend training or anything?

>>27386662
You were taught BY a brawler. A drunken master of street boxing.

>>27386662
>>27386691
Once upon a time, but the man who taught us has been gone for years.

>>27386662
Krav Maga, m8.

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>>27386691

>>27386662
This is the best fucking quest, OP. God bless.

Also they're all right, obviously we were taught in the school of Jackie Chan and Beer Punch Fist.

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>>27386753

>>27386821
It was less school and more getting beat by a drunk and beating his creditors.

>>27386691
>>27386704
>>27386753
>>27386729
>>27386632
>>27386639

As the bus rolls on, you float into reminiscing. That was a pretty clean encounter you had just now.

You did some Krav Maga before, but your main foundations were laid by a man you met on the street in your youth. At the time you were the runt of the class, and over a few weeks, on the way home from school, he taught you simple expedients. The roll. Breaking a fall.

And then the art of Snatching Hands, instinctively intercepting attacks before countering with your own. It was that art which allowed you to grab Joanna's fierce hook; and come think of it, if your own hook could be caught by her...

But before you can finish that thought you're at Riddenham, and soon you enter Tammy's. While the place is getting quite busy with the evening crowd, you can spot Joanna immediately, in a white, loose-fitting top and denim shorts, her long legs crossed. 'Hey, Joanna.'

'Sit.' She looks around. 'This *is* the first time we've had dinner as flatmates, eh? How was your day? Any successes?'

> How *did* you know Joanna? And how did you manage to not figure she was a woman?

> What say?

>>27386861
>unemployment goggles
>Also dear god that shit was taken by a woman
>try not to gag
>gag a lot

"We lifted heavy things and then put them in new spots. Same shit different day. Also the apartment is in fucking blinder's green and I offered her space in ours for 399 a month."

>>27386861
Friend of a friend of a friend.

We were drunk a lot of the time since we moved in two weeks ago. When not drunk, we kept to ourselves.

Order us two pints of beer.

>>27386911
>Not splitting a pitcher
C'mon, anon. Get serious, we have a bitch to rail.

You posted an ad for a flatmate, and she answered it. She was always tomboyish as hell and asked to be called Jo. When she appeared, you had a massive hangover and you misheard it as Jon.

I second this sentence: >>27386901
Ask a pitcher not a pint.

>>27386927
>>27386911
>not getting one for each of us
Yall is lightweights and do not appreciate this fine lady

Rolled 87

>>27386957
And I'm an idiot and didn't add the roll

>>27386957
That's too simple of a misunderstanding to be as fun and full retard as this quest is going.

Needs to be something Truly Truly Outrageous

Rolled 58

>>27386976
And I support this fine gentleman.

2 pitchers

Rolled 59

>>27386998
Okay... how about this? You don't remember... You had a 5-day drinking binge and, when you finally recovered your senses, you had a roomate and half the rent was paid.

>>27386976
>not starting dinner with a shot of vodka
Way to forget out Russian heritage Anon.

Our grandfather would be sick, he didn't fight in the Great Patriotic War and then flee to the UK to deal with this shit.

>>27387031
Gramps can stick his head up his withered moldy ass. He fled the war like a damn coward.

>>27386901
>>27386911
>>27386927
>>27386957

> Drinking beer out of a pitcher instead of a tap? BARBARIANS! PHILISTINES! I FART IN YOUR GENER- I beg your pardon.

She was a friend of a friend of a friend who said she wanted a room too when you posted on Facebook. Since she had no photos on, and she... come think of it.

'Talk to the face, please, not to the titties,' she says, but you can't help noticing that her tits are more prominent now, by quite a bit. But she wasn't binding them - you'd see if she was this morning.

There is some titty sorcery in this one, you tell yourself. A very specialised branch of magic, no doubt. 'Uh, I lifted stuff, put it down elsewhere, then lifted more stuff. Repeat until all stuff was put elsewhere.'

'And then you stuck it in her, I guess?'

You cough a little, and raise your hand to ask for a pitcher of beer. When it comes, and before you can do the honourable thing, Jo throws her card on the tray. 'Open it, Charlie.'

'Righto.' Wow. First name terms. Come think of it, isn't she unemployed as well?

> What do/say/ask?

>>27387054
Do as the nice lady says as we plot to acquire this tit sourcery for ourselves.

>>27387054

Also, the answer to the question of 'how you met this man/woman' is still unanswered. Don't worry. Continue producing scenarios.

>>27387054
"Daddy has needs. Also you should seen those tits and that ass, my god. It's like a straight Michaelangelo crafted them out of marble and pleasure."

>>27387086

She didn't asked us to do anything.

And we never fuck and tell. No comment on that. But can she move in with us?

>>27387106
"Not as hot as you though."

>>27387110
she told us ot open something

Rolled 58

>>27387054
Well, you do understand the need to be rewarded for hard work right? I worked hard, I got rewarded.

BTW, she might be our new roomate. You will need to get rid of those boxes on the spare room.

>>27387129
No need to sound desperate, Anon, Jo wants our d.

>>27387129
No need to make such statements. We've not compared the two fully and an additional test consisting of a threesome is needed to fully stat these women

Rolled 70

>>27387177
This gentleman is a scholar and knowledgeable of the empirical methods of testing...

>>27387177
I wish my unemployed life was like this. Mega jelly.

>>27387106
>>27387086
>>27387110
>>27387129
>>27387147

> Jo's request was for Charlie, the waiter, to open a tab. In other words, lady is paying for the drinks.
> Which begs the question: Where's she get the beer money from?

You consider, for a moment, protecting your sources. By which you mean your new fuckfriend. But then you can't resist the temptation to brag, and anyway it isn't really bragging.

'Yeah, well. I did do some work for her.'

'Was she any good?' Jo leans forward, elbows on the table, and then reads the menu while you talk. You do mean most of what you say - Bethany's figure is good, beyond question. And while she seems quite gentle and yielding, you did see a rather more active side of her.

You don't even know if Jo heard any of that though. Probably lost you at 'perky boobs'. Charlie comes round with your beer, and you listen with mounting alarm as Jo makes her order.

'Rump steak, rare. Actually, mixed grill, with the rare rump steak. Scampi. Half rack of ribs. And a jacket potato with bacon.' She turns it around to you. 'Your turn.'

> Order modestly. She's paying.
> You're a bit hungry, so be honest about it.
> CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, EATING PERSON.
> Something else.

>>27387256
Do you really think we're we're going to pick anything other than option 3?

>capatcha: meat tutunac

>>27387256
>CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, EATING PERSON
"Hey, whenever you go around to shake the benjies out of your money tree take me along, eh? Clearly yours is making it rain."

Rolled 90

>>27387256
The game is on mate!

>CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!


So, who died and left you an inheriterance?

>>27387256
Noo, order modestly!

>>27387328
We're not a little bitch anon.

>>27387370
Word up, thug.

>>27387328
Bitch opened a tab, we're going to drink and eat and make the fucks like we're rich.

>>27387328
Anon does this look like "Perfectly ordinary early 30's white male office worker quest" to you?

>>27387423
Yeah! We're a broken down unemployed 20 something mutt!

>>27387423
>>27387438
>>27387393
>>27387370
>>27387313
>>27387302
>>27387295

> Sigh. Excess always wins. O tempora. O mores!

You glance through the menu, sensing a challenge. 'Right. Full rack of ribs. Um, pasta-'

'Pasta here isn't that good,' Jo says. 'The chips are great.'

'Fine. Chips, and a half roast chicken. And a fish fillet.'

'Very good,' Charlie says with all the calmness a good waiter possesses, and smiles as he leaves. You turn to look at Jo.

'Wait a minute. I didn't know you were... wealthy.'

'You knew I was wealthy. You didn't pay a cent of the bleedin' deposit or the rent, did you?'

Point. 'So... where... what? And how was your day?'

'Well, I started it by having to cut off a deal, and then I get thrown in the bath, and then I get socked in the head. But you see, that's what made me think.' She leans a little closer. 'Are you up for any sort of work right now? I mean, I know you've got a brain right, and a good one. And then today it turns out you've got a good pair of fists too. I'm intrigued.'

Huh. You wonder. Work's good. Money's always good either. But...

> What do/say?

>>27387550
"You want brain and brawn, this is connected to the deal you cut off this morning isn't it?"

>>27387550
Go for it. Your fists thirst for blood. And money. And beer.

>>27387550
I've also got a good dick. I guess I'm the trifecta of awesome.

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>>27387550

Well... we had thrown her into the tube, punching at her and attempt to rape her... We seriously need to make up for her or we gonna suffers bad karma later...

>>27387631
She dropped a disgusting shit in front of us, the tub throw was fair retribution. The punching thing was totally fine and if it wasn't for pulling her pants off we'd never be here!

Karma, dog, it's already working for us.

>>27387550
"Sure. I haven't hunted the most dangerous game in many moons. My fists long for the taste of flesh."

>>27387664
>>27387631
>>27387606
>>27387603
>>27387601

'So,' you narrow your eyes, 'you're asking for brain and brawn... what the hell exactly do you do?'

'Oh, I hustle in the city,' she says, leaning back against the sofa. 'I do... things. But yes, I guess I also have an inheritance... well, never fucking mind that.'

The speed with which she dismisses that thought is interesting... 'so what was that deal you called off this morning?'

'I'm telling you nothing unless you say you're joining first.'

The impasse is broken, however, by the food arriving. One plate, then another, then yet another, and then the whole table is filled with steaming plates of food. Jo has a certain, glazed look of pleasure in her eyes as she contemplates it.

'Righto!' Up go the knife and fork.

> Say something.
> OH JUST EAT EAT EAT
> Other.

>>27387741
"Fine, I'm in, but from now on you're going to call me DAYMAN, FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAN. DAY MAAAN, FIGHTER OF THE NIGHTMAAAAAN."

>serenade that bitch the song of the Dayman, then eat, drink straight from the pitcher in big thirsty gulps.

>>27387741
Say something AND EAT EAT EAT talk with your mouth full.
"Sho, I'm in. Whash the job?"

>>27387769
>>27387775

She spares no time eating, so you jump in as well, and just then a particularly catchy jazz melody comes over the speakers. You look up to see her, sliding a rib bone in and out of her mouth in a way that is completely not potentially sexual whatsoever.

'So am I supposed to be a fighter? Because then I'm Dayymannn, fiiiighter of the Nightmaan-'

'For your own sake, stop the crowing.' She gives you a death glare. You notice the hint of a bruise still on the right side of her face where you socked her. 'Well. Currently I am actually looking for someone to be... you know, a fighter.'

'A fighter?'

'Mmhmm. Or, alternatively, maybe, a bodyguard or something as well.' Jo seems lost in thought for a moment. Does she actually know what she's saying?

> What do/say?
> Or you can skip to the end of the dinner, because this food will take some fucking time to eat. Great roast chicken though, and the chips are Very Good Indeed!

>>27387906
"Trouble with rivals?"

>>27387906
Gotta keep the somewhat criminal rent payer alive. She may just be a little eccentric that is all.

Wait for her to think

>>27387906
"Shit. My bad on shining you. That's gonna be nasty in the morning. What were you saying about beating the shit out of people? Would I be filing a W2 or a 1099?"

>>27387944
>>27387950
>>27387956

The meal is winding down, bones strewn across the wooden table as if a massacre had just happened, when you finally apologise for lamping her. She shrugs it off.

'So what was it you said about fighting... things? Is this going to be like a steady income per month job?'

'Oh, not really, no. More of a... freelance job, I suppose?'

Something occurs to you. Is she, maybe, a *gangster*? A gang leader? But out of politeness you don't ask that until after you're done with dinner, and a few more cocktails. By the time you stumble out of Tammy's, you are full to the brim, and a little tipsy as we-

Jo pulls your sleeve and drags you behind a pillar, holding you close so as to hide behind it. You can smell her alcoholic breath. 'Fuck.'

'What?'

'The two white cars in the parking lot. Are they still there?'

You peek out to see six men coming out of the cars. 'Well, it's a bit worse than that...'

You have no choice but to emerge, shoved by Jo. The six men, wearing leather jackets, sneer at you.

'So, Joanna! How's the new franchise going?'

'It's going like a heated poker up your rectum, judging by your reaction,' she says. For god's sake, Jo, there's 6 of them!

> What do? Escape might still be possible...

>>27388087
"Do you think they're packing? If they aren't I can work with this"

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Rolled 47

>>27388087

Kung Fu time!!!!

Rolled 70

>>27388087
Be the manliest man.

Kick their asses.

>>27388087
Attack right now, Quickly and efficiently.

>>27388087
>Tuck your thumbs in your belt loops and stand next to Jo. We're fucked off our rocker - we are in the zone. Be cool.

Rolled 87

>>27388143
shit, forgot to roll dice.

>>27388087
You are a master of drunken boxing, you are drunk and they are punchable. Wait for Jo's signal and then trounce them.

>>27388143
>>27388087
Immediate nutshot+throatshot the biggest guy there?

Rolled 64

>>27388167
Pretty much. Eyes, Throat, Balls, back of the head, eyes, anything to make them unable to retaliate after a strike.

>>27388139
>>27388142
>>27388143
Don't attack yet, that's unprofessional.

>>27388131

> Just saying: this being a civilised country, without an insane amendment in the constitution, packing is very, very rare.
> It's not like close combat weapons do less damage though!

> Typing, meanwhile.

Rolled 18

>>27388087
Art of the Drunken Fist

>>27388139
>>27388142
>>27388143
>>27388162
>>27388163
>>27388166
>>27388167
>>27388194
>>27388213

You run through your possible list of attacks, glancing over the people with your slightly blurry eyesight to identify their weak points. But they're a few paces away yet, and all of them have bats or sticks, which complicate matters.

'They're not carrying shooters, are they?'

'Nah,' Jo replies, as they continue to close. 'You aren't running? I'm not paying you for this, you know. Or are you a really cheap dinner date?'

'OI! Jo! Listen to me, you little bitch!'

'That was a big dinner. So maybe yeah.' You look into her eyes, which have suddenly begun burning with a bright, mischievous light. She must feel much the same as you about a fight.

'Good! Let's kick them.'

'Did you hear anything I said-'

> Roll d100 if attacking!
> If not, what do? Jo is definitely ready now, fists out and in stance.

Rolled 79

>>27388289
Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne!

>>27388289
We got to divide and conquer. First mock surrender until the first guy is in punching range, give him a nutshot and a throatshot before taking his weapon. Let Jo take the next guy and hopefully they'll split between us

Rolled 75

>>27388289
Burn your cosmo.

Rolled 67

>>27388331
Forgot my dice

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Rolled 17

>>27388289

Rolled 71

>>27388289
Let's do this bitch

>>27388322
>>27388331
>>27388345
>>27388353
>>27388377

> 79 vs. 33: WIN.

You take a deep breath, then make the move just as Jo talks.

'All right then, what was it you- what the-'

Rushing to your right at the rightmost opponent, who is isolated from the others, you then stop abruptly, willing him to charge you. Dodging the swing of his hockey stick, you step in close as he moves with the momentum, and aim straight for his throat.

KRK! 'HRRRGH'

'Jesus Christ, Samuel!'

You step aside as the man drops the stick and then topples face-forward onto the tarmac, coughing and choking. Hurrah! Hurr-

'You *twat*!' Jo yells. 'I was about to *negotiate*!

Uh oh.

'I'm going to punch him. You'll have to let me lamp this idiot, Jo, he's your idiot!'

> Offer to take the blow for peace.
> Fuck that shit! Fists up, mate.
> Other.

>>27388502
>Grab crotch and make silent and profane gesture towards the man speaking.
>Look at Jo, we're On the Clock

>>27388502
I thought she had said "Good! Let's kick them."

Rolled 70

>>27388502
You called her a bitch, so we are even

>>27388565
Seconding this

>>27388541
>>27388557
>>27388565
>>27388578

You turn to Jo. 'You *said* let's kick them!'

'Did I?'

'Also, you called her a bitch,' you point at the big man, 'and that makes us all even. You want a punch, come and get it.'

'Christ, I was here to talk, Jo, and your man-'

But Jo nods, and simply turns and walks up to you, straight backed, with a sudden air of authority you didn't expect. Most of the time you see her she's just... loping around, skulking. Now, dear god, she looks rather like a supermo-OOF.

You fall on your knees as the air, then the drool, dribbles out of you. Jo squats. 'I'm sorry. You will get paid for this one. It just needs doing.'

You groan, and then look up as Jo goes to talk. They finish talking before you manage to catch your breath, and then Jo comes up to you and hauls you up on her strong shoulders. 'Can you walk?'

The trip home is quite quiet. She unloads you on the kitchen chair and makes chamomile and lemon tea for you. 'That guy runs another... agency.'

'The fuck do you guys do?'

'Vigilante work. You know how the city's policing is these days. We take protection money, but then we actually do protect people. Or sometimes we take on more specialised jobs. And sometimes we do exactly what the criminals do and organise fights and stuff.'

'Right...'

'So, you still with me? I've been running almost solo so far, but slacks and a fierce right hook - always useful.'

> What say you?
> Also, what the fuck is your name? We don't know your name!

>>27388829
As long as I get proper warnings over ho is and isn't to be decked ahead of time.

>>27388829
>Continue to bitch about getting hit in the junk
>Bitch about how we don't make enough cheddar
>Grab her and make the passionate post-beat down coitus
>Names're fer faggits, and we ain't no faggit unless we're on top and he's pretty

>>27388896
who*

Rolled 81

>>27388829
Don. Short for Donald but nobody ever, *ever* finds out about that.

>>27388829
Sure, but don't mislead me like that again.

>Our name is Harold (Because I suck at naming things)

>>27388938
That's a shitty name

>>27388934
>>27388938
Awwww fuck no, we're not a goddamned Don or Harold. Fuck.

If we're gonna take a name, it's gonna be Charlie, because Charlie's the kind of name a madman takes.

>>27388829
>> Also, what the fuck is your name? We don't know your name!

Jerry McDougleberry

>>27388896
>>27388899

> Name still pending. No worries, take your time.
> Also, will be sleeping soon, but I'll see you on... probably Friday, if I disappear abruptly. Let's put it at Friday. Is Friday okay with everyone?

'Well, I don't know I'll still be with you if you're not going to give me advance warning before letting me loose on a fight.'

'What? Bollocks! You're the one ran on ahead and socked that guy!'

'And you knocked the wind out of me properly just now!' Fuck, it still hurts. Jo slams the cup of tea down on your table.

'What, you'd rather have five men beat on you with hockey sticks? Also, that was payback for punching me, and then pulling my boxers down.' You freeze at that, and watch her narrow her eyes. 'Don't think I didn't know what you were up to.'

'Well, I-'

'Shut up and drink your tea.' Jo disappears into her room, and then reappears in a grey halter top which you've never seen her wear before. What the hell has this girl been hiding from you? 'Anyway. So, the most recent job I have is to define my territory by trying to come to an arrangement with a certain high school. You know the one up the road?'

'Yeah?'

'They've got a gang problem, see. And we're supposed to beat the gang problem into submission. What do you think?'

> What do/say?
> Also, damn, it's nearly midnight now. You do feel like you need to sleep, but too, full. Jo is burping incessantly, meanwhile.

>>27388934
No, Don is our title. Our name is Carlos Juan. Don Juan.

>>27389092
>Yeah, I can wait for Friday.

Sure, but let's do it tomorrow.

>>27389092
"I would have thought that asking you if they were backing heat would have been sufficient warning that I thought they were a threat. Who the hell walks up to people with sports equipment outside a restaurant? Also I'm in."

>>27389120
Max Cock

>>27389092
"You said you'd pay me back for the kick. How about a massage? On the hurt area of course."

>>27389092
>"Sounds good, I haven't beat up a kid since I broke one's nose for trying to get at my wallet."

>>27389126

> I can't tomorrow, unfortunately
> Okay, admission time, I'm the guy who runs Warlord Quest as well, and I ran this as a one-shot because I was bored, and in too heck-care a mood to run Warlord today. But fuck, you guys had to come in and give a good story. You bastards! I hate you!
> I don't, of course, I don't.

>>27389130
>>27389158
>>27389174

You frown. 'Huh. So we beat them up and get paid?'

'Roughly so, yeah. It's not a big job, but it defines our territory.'

'Are you some sort of urban Serenity, Jo? Also, you need to be a bit sharper. If I ask you whether people are packing heat, it means I'm prepared to swing on them, yeah?'

You didn't expect her to know the reference, but she does. 'I just need the browncoat, and then yeah, mostly. And fair enough. I'll keep note of that.'

'Then I'm in. Haven't hit a kid since... actually maybe this afternoon. But long story.' That guy whose arm you folded could be 17 or something, who knows? 'I demand a massage from you on the solar plexus. It stings.'

'You massage my face then,' she sits right in front of you and pulls your t-shirt up. 'Fuck, that did bruise.'

'You think?!' But then so did her face. As she leans forward, decency compels you to only take a brief glance at her cleavage. JUST A BRIEF GLANCE. It's very nice. MOVING ON.

> 'Massage', caress her face.
> That bruise needs some pressure to dissipate!
> You're not touching Jo.
> Other.

>>27389306
Door number one

>>27389306
> 'Massage', caress her face.
> That bruise needs some pressure to dissipate!
>suck face
>be drunk
>do good deeds

>>27389306
>>27389126

The greentext was directed to you

The not greentext was supposed to be the command for the story. Oh well.

Do what she wanted you to do.

>>27389306
Inquire as to how it is she can go from flat-chested to having cleavage in the space of a day.

>>27389306
Massage her face.
And then move down.

File: 1379983768652.png-(29 KB, 256x256, 1374869630522.png)

29 KB PNG

>>27381522
NO
NO
NOPE
anything but this
because I've got the same quest IRL right now

>>27389306
Motorboat

>>27389461
Read the fucking thread

>>27389469
why
the horror
I was escaping from reality on /tg and it caught me here
I can do nothing but cry right now

>>27389532
because this thread is awesome

>>27389461
>>27389532
If you aren't a master boxer surrounded by hot women that want the D, this quest is nothing like your life.

If it is, you have nothing to complain about.

>>27389461

> You and me both, sweetie.

>>27389418
>>27389416
>>27389349
>>27389332

You reach for her face and start to 'massage' it. While she's putting some light pressure on your solar plexus (which hurts), you simply rub her cheek with your thumb and palm, feeling the smooth, supple skin with a single zit right in its middle. Oh well, nothing's perfect.

'You're molesting me,' she says as you do so, but she isn't stopping you - which you know she can do, of course.

'I'd just like to ask, how did you get to have cleavage all of a sudden?'

'What?' She looks up, then chuckles. 'Dude. This is the first time I've worn anything that exposes anything or has a hemline below the collarbone. Also, you were mostly drunk, I recall.'

'But drunkenness makes breasts *larger*, not smaller. Or the goggles do anyway.'

'I just did a pretty good job of concealing them previously under sweaters and jumpers, then,' she says, and pokes your solar plexus. Fuuuuck. But you can feel that she's leaning into your hand against her cheek. 'What, are you not comfortable with seeing cleavage? You fundamentalist or something?'

'No! No no. No complaints.' Then you begin to make your move, from the cheek to the line of her jaw, then down her long, graceful neck. It's almost like she was grown to be long and graceful. Your thumb traces the line of her throat, feeling Jo's pulse with your other fingers; then you trace down to her collarbone, prominent against her skin.

That's when she stops you with a firm hand and a hard nudge on your abdomen. Giving your hand back to yourself, she smiles and stands up.

'I'm off to bed! Good night.'

Well, that was... you look down at your rather excited self.

> What do?
> If nothing, default to sleep. (And I default to sleep too.)

>>27389609
Goodnight...

>>27389609
>No no no no no! You can't leave me at half mast!
>pout like a bitch

>>27389609
wat

didn't we literally see her full frontal during breakfast?

>>27389762
Girls be whack yo

>>27389659
>>27389663

'Goddamn it,' you mutter to yourself. Sighing, you go back to your room and change, considering the possibility of not giving in to your hornine- no. Impossible.

Just as you are in a little despair, however, the phone gives a ray of hope from Bethany. 'So, little tiger, are you free this weekend? Maybe I could go and... see your room? Or my room? I nearly got mugged outside the lift just now.'

That last bit is a slight bonerkill, but you simply have to scroll up! Ughf. Right. Cleaning up, you reply you are indeed free, and then go to bed.

> And that's all for tonight. See you Friday.
> Also, questions and suggsetions about setting more than welcome.

>>27389816
How is Jo pulling off this titty sourcery?

>>27389816
Have you run any quests other than Warlord?

>>27389762
>>27389791

> Argh. Subjective views of what makes a cleavage 'nice', it seems.
> Jo is not, in any way, full-figured the way Bethany is. If you have to know. She is built quite athletically, and slimly so.

>>27389816
What ever happened to Octopus Quest?

>>27389925

> Do people want it continued? I mean... I kinda got the sense it was fading out a bit. Or maybe it was me being exhausted and cranky.

Rolled 6

>>27389954
fuck yea lets keep going

>>27389954
It was pretty interesting so why not if you can manage three (or more) quests a once.

>>27389954
that was you? i was enjoying it, but i got the feeling it was dying. when you finish another quest, start again from the beginning maybe?

fun read. feels like a manga setup though - at least the MC is alpha and got some pussy for once

keep going mate