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>>27464703

After that little and much welcomed outing, things got better yet. You went for dinner with Joanna, the first time you've ever been out anywhere with a flatmate, and ate as much food as you could hold. And rather more. The combination of food coma and post-coital satisfaction has combined to lull you into a lovely sleep, the first calm night you've had ever since you moved into this hole of a flat two weeks ago.

Wait a fucking minute. Why does it smell of tobacco smoke in your dreams?

All of a sudden you aren't dreaming anymore, it's your hand sweeping your blanket aside as you sit up to find the figure sitting, slightly hunched, on the far corner of your bed. Looking directly at you, one hand bunching and unbunching her loose grey top, the other holding a lit cigarette.

'What the *fuck* are you doing, Joanna? Don't smoke in my room!'

'Good morning to you too, buster,' she mutters without missing a beat, eyes narrowing. She doesn't seem to care that you can notice she's only wearing black briefs below the top. 'I've got good news and bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?'

> What say? Fuck's sake, Joanna. Maybe you should lock your door next time.

>>27464711
Well if you want to take those clothes off then I will hear the bad news first

>>27464711

If the good news is you're about to undress, then bad news first.

>>27464711

bad news first.

>>27464789
>>27464797
>>27464817

You sit up, watching the smoke curl from her cigarette end, the little ashtray balanced on her thigh. Man, she must really put in her hours in training - look at how toned they are, and she must take care of her skin as well-

Sorry, where were you? 'Is the good news that you're undressing? Did I get that right?'

'No.' The next thing you know, her free hand balls into a fist and lands hard on your knee, hitting your bone unerringly with her knuckles. 'Bad news then?'

'Ow! Fuck! Okay, bad news!'

'You know how I asked if you wanted to join up and hustle with me last night, right?' She takes a slow, long drag before continuing, smoke puffing out between her lips. 'See, I thought you would say yes and we could spend today preparing. But I fucked up the dates, so now I'm fucked.'

'You completely lost me, Jo.'

'The bad news is, I just got cut off today. My folks said they would cut me off on midnight, June the 1st, and I thought that's fine, I'll buy a fuckload of stuff today just before they cut me off and drop all my cards and stuff.' Joanna winces. 'But it's June 1 today. My cards already don't work.'

'Wait. What?'

'I'm out of money. I'm cut off. The last thing I enjoyed with my still functioning cards was yesterday's dinner.'

Never fucking mind that! Why did Joanna not tell you this earlier, before you said you're joining up with her... with whatever her schemes were? But she looks utterly miserable, looking down at the cigarette now with her dark, brown eyes, before tapping it so the ash completely misses the tray and lands on your floor.

Thanks, Jo.

> What say? You're both out of a job and a source of income now then...

>>27464864
So what are we gonna do and how long until shit hits the fan?

>>27464864

"And the good news?"

>>27464864
Looks like we both need good news, so how about some shaging to lighten the moood?

>>27464864
We are two roke people with an apartment we cannot afford. And you are not getting undressed. What the fuck is the good news then, it better be something really good.

>>27464864
"You know whats a good way to start a shitty day like this? A good fuck. So come here, you can tell me the good news after when we are both feeling better and it'll be almost like this is a good day.

>>27464895
>>27464922

probably not the best thing to say in this situation.

>>27464911
>>27464877
>>27464886
>>27464895

'Right.' The ash is still floating down towards the floor. 'That's... that's bad.'

'Tell me about it.'

'Stop blowing smoke in my room!' You get up, still in just your boxers and with your completely natural morning phenomenon visible, and throw on a t-shirt as Jo watches. 'Talk in the kitchen!'

The kitchen in your flat is a pretty miserable place. The oven's so rusty that bits fall off the roof when you turn it on. The electric stove makes a squeaky noise that sounds like it's powered by the torment of rats. And the table has two chairs, one lower than the other by a lot. 'Right. So that's the bad news. We're fucked.'

'We'll have to hustle around for our living now,' she says, in a tone which sounds more like challenge accepted than you expected. 'That was my plan anyway, though. Just we didn't start out ahead.'

We? 'Just give me the good news, Jo.'

'I'm not wearing a bra under my top,' she says.

'That's good news, but I can see that already. What's the real good news?' She's glancing at your morning wood as well, so you feel less compunction about checking her out.

'I paid the rent on the flat for the next two months. So we don't have to worry about that at least. But now we have to think, mate. What are we going to do with our life now?'

She keeps using the plural first-person, you notice. Maybe she's not very clear what it means. But anyway, even alone, you'd need to think of something... 'find a job?'

'That's boring. I'm not doing that.' She sounds pretty vehement. 'And if you're living with me, neither are you.'

No shit, mate.

> Hmmm. Time to come up with some possibilities. Joanna has one or two of her own, or looks like it, but she's looking at you as if to prove yourself.

>>27464928
>probably
but then again maybe it is. we'll never know unless we try right?

>>27464943
We can always rob a bank for a couple millions and run away to some paradise island or some shit.

>>27464943

this hustling she was talking about, we need some details on that.

>>27464943
"Fuck you, 'mate'. I was enjoying my uneployment till yesterday and you just have come with your bad news and ruin it. Seriously, by the way, i'd love to fuck you. Anyways what's your job proposal exactly? Maybe i'll partner up if its something good."

>>27464943
So how do you feel about porn? We're relatively hot people with no way of sustaining ourselves and no interest in regular jobs living in an appartment which we could totally adapt to act as our home-broadcasting site.

>>27464983
>nor reading before posting
*just have to
*partner up with you

>>27464987
Also I want to make tea. Can't get a good morning conversation without it.

>>27464987
this could work. it would earn us some extra money at the very least.

>>27464943
"I like to throw some punches but there is no way i am getting into a job where a bunch of people with pipes and knives and potentially guns are after my ass everyday."

>>27465021
>>27464963
>>27464976
>>27464983
>>27464987
>>27464988
>>27464995
>>27465003

You excuse yourself to make some tea, and she wants some too. As the kettle boils, you lean against the counter, until it creaks ominously. Okay, okay, no leaning.

'What's your problem with finding a job anyway?'

'Don't like it. Being registered and logged in some company's data rolls.' You blink at that. Sure, many people in the City are a little paranoid about their personal data, especially after breaking away from the Republic and the decades of Conservative Front government. But to the point of not finding a job? That sounds odd.

'Eh. How about porn then? We just need a camera, and the bed's decent. Well mine is.'

'Your room is messy as fuck though.'

'Authenticity!'

'Also, identity theft. We'd need to register with the authorities, names on rolls again.' Dear god, Joanna, what the fuck.

'Bank robbery. No rolls, no names.'

'Maybe later. Two can't do much though. Cheers,' she says, taking the tea.

'Then what the fuck were you considering? Just give your pitch then.'

'I don't know! I was thinking of selling protective services and maybe doing odd jobs for random... charities, or shops, or stuff. Tonight, for example, I'm running a hot-dog stand at Ellsburn Market.'

A *what*?

'Or, we could do the school guarding thing. Or fighting! You like fighting, no?'

> What say to that? You can contribute to the idea or shoot it down, naturally.

>>27464943
Well I am not exactly the mastermind if you were expecting a big reveal

So far my plans for this morning are get into your pants or go the fuck back to sleep until I can wake up and find out this was all a bad damn brought on by excessive food

>>27465061

> Also, roll d20 for some discernment. I was never really sure how much you might know about the City and its politics, so let's see if this helps you some.

Rolled 13

>>27465061

I need to read last thread for details but the school guard thing sounded okay.

>>27465061
Well hot dog stand doesn't sound bad but it just seemed too normal for you after what you told me last night. The guard job could be good as well if it brings in more work

So who were your people anyway? Friends? Colleagues? Family?

Rolled 80

>>27465061
LET'S START A REBELLION AGAINST THIS DYSTOPIAN CYBERPUNK GOVERNMENT.
JO AND BETHANY CAN HELP BY SEDUCING GUYS INTO JOINING US.

Its not like I like fighting, alright? I just happen to encounter aggressive people more often than others.
How about this: I tag along for whatever odd-job you decide if and ONLY if you tell me why the hell you're so paranoid about your identity. We better trust each other if we're going to get out of this shithole together, mate. *sips tea*
(Not rolling dice, gods hate me enough)

Rolled 1

Let's run drugs. Couples draw less attention, we get to go to exotic locations, and we can pretend we're just exhibitionists if we get busted doing something. Make a policeman blush and pretend to be abashed and sorry, and they'll normally let you go. That's why you're acting suspicious.

>>27465113

> 1

Ah, fuck.

>>27465113
ALL IS WELL IN THIS MARVELOUS FUTURE. TRUST AND LOVE THE GOVERNMENT, AS THE GOVERNMENT TRUSTS YOU, CITIZEN.
alsopayyourtaxesanddontforgettopraytoourlordthemightywarleaderpresidentosama

Rolled 12

>>27465061

>>27465144
>>27465078
>>27465092
>>27465110
>>27465113

> 1
> Ah, fuck.

> Indeed.

'A what? Do you even know how to cook?'

'That's fucking insulting, mate,' she shoots back. But you know you've hit a raw spot, mostly because you've never seen her make toast that contained less than 18% pure black carbon. 'It's just sausages, innit? You slap them on the grill, turn turn turn, done.'

'It's not quite- they don't- let's run me through the school guarding thing.'

'It's a school just up the road. A high school. They say their students get harassed at night when they leave the gates, so they want someone to just stand around and lamp anyone who talks up the girls. Or the boys.'

'The boys'll take care of themselves,' you say. 'But will that bring in more work?'

'Why not? School kids have parents. Spot a rich one, hustle something up. You up for that? Gotta be careful, of course, you don't want them giving you any formal job. What with the politics these days.'

That statement just confuses the hell out of you. Politics? What's with the City's politics? 'The hell's with you and your paranoia? Look. I can join you flipping hot dogs or standing round a school but I gotta trust you. You tell me what you're hiding, or I'm out.'

'I can't tell you until I know I can trust you,' Jo shoots back immediately, crossing her legs. 'And honestly, I don't trust you enough yet. Maybe if you follow my lead on a first job and come up with some ideas to keep us afloat. Otherwise...'

.... duuude.

> Fine. I'll do the hotdogs/school (choose either)
> Fuck you, buddy, the hell you think I am?
> Other.

>>27465193
>other
"I was enjoying my my uneployment till yesterday, and i am gonna keep enjoying it until you decide you want a partner and trust me to tell everything. I dont have any trust issues, you are the one with issues, so come talk to me again once you solve them. Now if you'll excuse me, i am gonna go around town doing absolutely fucking nothing of worth. Who knows, maybe i'll get lucky and score myself a lady... or a very cute boy."

Bitch!

>>27465226

Second this. We're free!

Maybe we can hustle something ourselves.

>>27465226
Yes.
Lets go to a park or something. Some green scenery and little animals would be nice and calming.

>>27465193
Fine, let's do this school shit.
Hopefully some smartass wil try causing trouble so I can beat him to a pulp

>>27465281
>>27465291
>>27465226
>>27465245

You stare at her, and in a moment your admiration for her looks falls away somewhat. You have to prove yourself worthy of trust? You haven't proven yourself about anything to your own *mother*!

... okay, on second thought, that's not really something to be proud of.

Still, you get up from your low chair. 'Dude, what? Piss off, mate, you're the one with trust issues. You drag me out of my little unemployment bliss-'

'Bliss? Leave it out, you were drunk three quarters of the time and you didn't even realise I was a woman.'

'That's bliss!' It's not, really, but you're not about to concede that now. 'You don't get to judge my bliss, Jo, and you don't get to judge my trustworthiness. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to fuck right off, and go around town doing absolutely fuck-all. You can do your own thing, man.'

She raises her eyebrow at you, and you storm back into your room and get changed. Come think of it, you haven't checked your laptop in a whole day. Not sure there's much call in that though. Maybe you could hustle online? But fuck hustling, and fuck Jo.

Just as you head for the door, though, she calls out. 'Oi. Dude. How about we do a bit of training and cool our heads a little? Go for a run?'

She sounds suitably conciliatory, but... you were considering a park as well, really.

> What say to Jo?

> And if no, then where go? Bus stop, nearest train station, or go for a hoofing?

>>27465316
You can tag along, but one wrong word of you and I go my own way, Jo.
(Please be using shorts, please be using shorts)

>>27465316
Why so angry?
"I was thinking of going to park anyways. Lets go running there then."

>>27465316

getting to know each other is a good way to start if we do want to have mutual trust.

"Sure, but hold off on the business talk, I need to clear my head."

>>27465316
"Come along, i was going to th park anyways."

>>27465339
>>27465342
>>27465366
>>27465398

You stop at the door and look down. Come on, man. She did pay two months of rent - that's your rent counted in as well. Seems a little unfair to say she's got trust issues.

Or maybe she's just confident you're not fucking off while you can stay for free, which is cunning, and also very true. You turn around to see her in the corridor, next to the massive, coffee-coloured water stain in the wallpaper. Christ.

'I'm walking to the park. You want to come along?'

'Walking? How about running?'

Within ten minutes you're downstairs in the morning quietness, in your slightly worn shorts and running shoes, trying to stretch while not looking at Joanna stretching. For her part, she's wearing a tighter sleeveless top, just right for the bright sunlight, and black running shorts.

*PHEW-WEET!*

You look up while stretching your hamstrings. She's doing that too, facing you and bent over, so her back is facing the street; and across the street two young men have taken notice of her. Jo sighs and straightens up, but then as she bends backwards, they start calling again across the one lane road.

'Lady! You up for brunch? Let's have rump steak!'

'Let's go,' Jo mutters, tying up her short hair into a ponytail. You look at those kids - seventeen, eighteen maybe - you haven't seen them in the neighbourhood before. And here you were saying Blinder's Green was bad. Everywhere in the Peninsula and Promontory is bad, mate...

> What do you do, man?

>>27465113

This sounds like an idea. Pusher quest.

>>27464703
Are you still doing octopus quest?

>>27465473

> Not for the moment, no. But I still have the notes kept around. Insofar as I have notes.

>>27465462
>What do you do
Start running with her, what else? We are not petty enough to care a couple of teenage boys trying to hit on girl. If they go overboard, we can set them straigth, but whats most likely to happen is that they'll keep standing there trying to cover up their boners.

>>27465462

Just ignore them, if they come over and make it our problem, goody.

>>27465468
>Pusher quest.
I saw this, and immediately thought of being a miniature robot bulldozer.

Pusher only pushes. No talking, no inventory, no pulling. Only pushing.

>>27465462
Make a bet on who ever gets to the park first has to do something.

>>27465566
No. Thats a bet we'd lose.

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>>27465462
Just run and get a good eye full of her ass.

>>27465571
its still a fun idea and a better form of entertainment then just running.

>>27465579
>this is the second time i posted it
thanks..i guess..

>>27465594
yeah i got bored and was clearing out my reaction folder and saw this and thought fuck it i'll post it before deleting it.

>>27465566
>>27465571
>>27465590
>>27465594
>>27465538

> That sounds adorable, if slightly limited.

>>27465502
>>27465506

You glare at the boys, who gesture back that you're a tosser, and then simply follow Jo as she bounds off. 'How fast can you run?'

Well, you're by no means a couch potato. 'Pretty fast, I think-'

'Catch up then!' Even as Jo says it, she is bounding off, running in great wide strides as her ponytail bounces. You manage to keep up with her as you tear down the street, then turn left onto the main road, and then- wait, what?

'Jo! Left!'

'No!' Having run across the road, she now heads straight for an uphill section. Oh fucking hell! You've never run this portion of the neighbourhood before - you didn't even know there was a park in this direction - but you manage to follow Jo up one slope, then down it, and then up another slope, hardly noticing you've already entered a park and the trees are closing in around you.

You eventually make it to a clearing, three or four paces behind, where Jo is jogging on the spot. Her whole body is shining with sweat in the sunlight now, and she gestures at a... oh, fucking hell. It's a steep, upward slope, winding one way then another - at least 100 metres of slope attack.

'Up for sprint training?'

'I'm... more than up... I'll bet you... three circuits...'

She gives you a lopsided grin. 'Sure. You set the conditions.'

> What is your condition?
> Also, roll d20.

>>27465487
well that's good, i was in both threads and i was wondering if it just got canned or something.

>>27465618

Damn, I just meant >>27465538 was limited.

The other options are legit, and followed, as you can see.

Just warm up on the way to the park, then challenge her to a race there and enjoy the view. Be mischievous.

Rolled 18

>>27465618

Rolled 12

>>27465618
Lets win this one.

Rolled 4

>>27465618
what conditions?

Rolled 18

>>27465637
1.loser must dress however the winner says for the next day
2.Has to sing to you when ever they ask
3.let her decide.

Rolled 6

>>27465668
change my 3. to dance in a way we specify.

>>27465649
>>27465656
>>27465637

> Name your betting conditions, man! Can't hold a bet if nothing's being won or lost.

Jo's looking pretty confident. She has reason to actually; she looks barely touched by the run, and you don't feel barely touched.

>>27465682
I'mma barely touch yor ass after I'm done teaching you a thing or two bout running uphill, yo lil bitch.
Then start running.

Rolled 7

>>27465682
i already did.
>>27465680
>>27465668
1.loser must dress however the winner says for the next day
2.she decides
3.to dance in a way we specify

>>27465618

>What is your condition?

I'm not sure what we want besides having her tell us what she didn't trust us enough for.

she'll likely have us join her for a job, or make us do something strange.

>>27465668
>>27465680
sounds good enough.

>>27465696
>>27465693
these two get my vote.
>>27465702
its just for fun and not answering probably makes her pick the choices automatically.

>>27465714
>>27465704
>>27465702
>>27465696
>>27465668

> 18: Good roll. Good, good roll.

You think this over, trying to regain your breathing. If Jo's looking confident, though, she doesn't know how good you can be at sprints. You may not have stamina, but by god you have explosive power!

Also, you're not bad at sprinting.

'Well. How about three things.'

'Just one thing, buster!'

'Then choose from these three. The loser dresses, dances, or sings in a way the winner specifies.'

Jo's look is one of absolute mortification, and it seems you've hit three of her weaknesses. But she doesn't look like a bad dancer! Singing, well, you never know. She scratches her forehead, sighs, and nods. 'I'll choose the dancing.'

Woohoo! Watching her move should be ni- OI YOU BASTARD! Even while you grin and consider what dance to make her do, she's already bounding off again, growling audibly as she charges up the hill.

You run after her, though, focusing all your strength and ignoring the fire and vinegar running through your legs, and by the time you're halfway, you are almost level with her. And that's when it happens. The ground is uneven, but hidden by leaves, and though you're careful to step around any obvious roots, Jo soon lets out a sharp cry and disappears from beside you. By the time you manage to stop, she's tumbled and sprawled out on the path, before gathering herself and reaching for her left ankle.

'Ah, fuck! Fuck!' She groans, and for some reason you can't tell if she's actually injured. Her ankles are hidden by the socks, and anyway look at the rest of them legs.

> What do? Go help her, or run up?
> Also, you can hear voices coming from the top of the hill in the renewed quiet.

>>27465793
Go help her at once. Ask her if she's alright, and say that you don't leave your pack behind, be it a race or a though job. That should earn us some trust points.

>>27465821
seconded

>>27465793
>> What do? Go help her, or run up?
princess carry up the hill.
>>27465821
while saying this.

>>27465793

running away now would be a real dick move, chances for actual injury are to high.

go help her.

>>27465835
This.

>>27465838
actually chances of injury are to thigh.
I can't stop making silly jokes.

>>27465835
This, but before reaching the top walk backwards so that she doesn't win.

>>27465793
>Go help her
"I guess i win. You ok? Let me take a look"
If she is faking it, then its a win for us anyway.

>>27465872
this, i can see her pretending to get injured and say she won by say she got up first.
>>27465875
this sounds a bit dickish.

There is no way she could be considere a winner if she is faking it like little bitch. There is honor in a bet like this.

>>27465863
>>27465864
>>27465872
>>27465838
>>27465835
>>27465833
>>27465821

No question about this one! Immediately you turn around and run towards her. 'Joanna! You okay?' She gives you a glare for some reason, but you quickly squat beside her. 'Ankle sprain?'

'Yeah, fucking careless.' She then looks up at you. 'Huh, you coulda won that easily.'

'There's no honour beating someone who sprained her ankle, is there? Besides, I don't leave people behind just like that.' You offer her your hand. 'Are you capable of limping, or do you need a princess carry?'

'I think I can limp...' She gingerly props herself up on one hand, grabbing your other and leading it across her shoulder, and then suddenly the injured leg shoots out as she drags you across it. It's not bad sliding over the leg, except that you then sprawl out yourself, face down on the path, listening as she scrambles to her feet. 'Haha!'

'Bitch, I might be hurt now!' You yell.

'No you're not!' Well, she's right. You pick yourself up and run, but of course you've lost; she's busy cracking her knuckles and stretching herself again, shaking out her legs. Jo seems determined to get some tan lines, it seems.

> What react? You can't believe you just-

>>27465897
>a hustler caring about honor
Hell we almost raped her the day before.

>>27465899
Dance the funky chicken and then begin twerking like a pro.

>>27465899
"I didnt think you to fake it like a little bitch. Why bother making a bet then?"

>>27465899
start twerking to show your skills and to prove she can't embarrass you.
>>27465923
then say this.

>>27465929
>>27465919
Thirding the twerk. Lets make our booty clap.

>>27465899

"Well, at least you're not hurt. So, what now Miss big winner?"

let's not twerk.

>>27465938
>>27465929
>>27465919
our skill level is probably this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=564aSHdEacI

>>27465943

MAKE DAT BOOTY CLAP MAKE DAT BOOTY CLAP

>>27465899
"Did you seriously just hustle me? I'm glad we're working together."
>>27465954
>>27465938
>>27465929
>>27465919
She's supposed to specify the dance, so we'd just be randomly twerking.

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>>27465943
>"Well, at least you're not hurt. So, what now Miss big winner?"
>let's not twerk.
you sound like this guy.

>>27465923
call the bitch on it.

>>27465974
its just to prove a point and to get a laugh.
She should have chosen singing or clothing.

>>27465974
>She's supposed to specify the dance, so we'd just be randomly twerking.
Since she cheated on it, we can choose the dance and she should be glad to see it nonetheless.

>>27466023
I'm all for twerking, I'm just letting you know.

>>27466004
>She should have chosen singing or clothing.
>implying those could've been more embarassing.

>>27466036
we could have gotten her to just wear band aids for one or loudly sing an embarrassing song in public.

>>27466004
>>27465919
>>27465923
>>27465929
>>27465938
>>27465943
>>27465954
>>27465947

> Bloody hell, the muscle dude. Bloody hell.

You scramble up as she grins at you. 'So much for not trusting me, when you do this to me.'

'Aww, look at little hurty butt here,' she replies. Well, this can only call for one countermeasure. You've spent months and months standing in the Iron Horse Stance to train your thighs and hips, and while it's been some time since you stopped, you still fucking have it. 'Well. Since I win, I gather you'll have to-'

'Never mind what you gather!' You hop around, hands on your knees, and cock your posterior up at Jo before twerking as quick and hard as you can.

'What the-'

'Imma make that boo'y clap, Imma gonna make that-'

'Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!' She covers her mouth and begins making funny noises, stifling either vomit or guffawing. 'I'm SORRY!'

'Oh yeah? Oh yeah? I gotta shake my ass on your sorry ass before you-'

It's around that moment, as you're about half a metre from Jo's pelvis and still twerking enticingly, that you realise what the two of you have run into. On the other side of the summit, having just scaled it, is a group of young men and women. One of them has a windbreaker saying 'Carron Hill Environmental Team'.

Ah.

> What do/say, you motor-arsed genius?

>>27466052
we didnt win the bet though. so you are talking nonsense.

>>27466054
Wave
Continue.

>>27466054
Shout them a thanks for their help conserving this beautiful environment. No reason to stop dancing over petty things like this.

>>27466054
wave and continue, and good god i can't breathe.

>>27466090
Seconded

>>27466054

>>27466090

might as well.

>>27466090
we are all hippies passing time in our own ways after all. its all well and good. lets go see if they got some weed to share when we are finished with our bootyshake.

>>27466090
this, but at the same time tart inching our shaking ass closer.(i can't stop giggling like a school girl.)

>>27465947
What a slut!
>That second attempt
Okay, now she is just pathetic.

>>27466071
>>27466090
>>27466092
>>27466096
>>27466106
>>27466114
>>27466133

Can you really twerk and wave at the same time? You grin and wave at the lot of them - there must be like 10 or 12 of them. YES. Yes you can!

'Thanks for upkeeping... this forest!' You shout, as Jo continues to laugh-vomit behind you.

'We... you're welcome!' The leader, with the windbreaker, turns out to be a silver-haired old lady who stares at you for a few moments, expecting you to stop. But of course you don't, because you've gone rather too fucking far now haven't you? You inch a little closer to Jo, who doesn't seem to respond. Then she turns to her crew of conservation workers.

'Well, this is the mating dance of certain rare subspecies of humanity I take it,' she says. Well done, silver-haired lady, you done hit back hard. You finally stop, and turn around to see you're rather obscenely close to touching Jo with your arse, not that she's noticing.

'Hey, Jo.' You straighten a little. Bloody hell you need to do more Iron Horse if you're going to hustle with your fists. Or twerking. 'What're you thinking?'

'We could talk to them and see if they know any leads or jobs, couldn't we?' She gestures at them. You, on your part, see a rather fetching youngster with a long blonde ponytail who takes a pair of secateurs out of a bag, and grins as she snaps them shut. Holy shit! Your kind of chick!

> What say to Jo? You could just bring her aside and talk. There's a pavilion over there, with seats for your overexerted glutes.
> Or you can get stuck in. The silver-haired lady doesn't seem to mind...

>>27466223
i don't know what to say or choose here, but can we ask her at one point what she was gonna ask us to dance.

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>>27466223
>'Well, this is the mating dance of certain rare subspecies of humanity I take it,'
You are cool old lady. I like you.

>>27466223

Talk to her first then ask to join in.

Ask about the hot dog thing.

>>27466223
lets go talk. got nothing better to do.

>>27466274
Meant to say ask jo.

>>27466278
we must befriend her

>>27466283
Agreed, but the school thing seems like the better option.

>>27466319
>>27466302
>>27466288
>>27466283
>>27466274

The view from the pavilion is actually really quite nice. You can see all the way out almost to the eastern coast of the Peninsula, with the sea on the horizon; and to the south you can just about make out some of the many, many towers and residential blocks that make up the Promontory.

The Promontory is the heart of the City, but far too expensive and cramped to live in; but the real doozies are the East and West Islands, to the Promont's south. That's where all the banks are, the government, the gleaming towers, great shopping malls...

You flinch a little at the sudden weight against your right arm, but it turns out to be Joanna leaning against you with a sigh. Her body is really warm against yours. 'Hurrrgh.'

'So, Jo, you've got the school job *and* the hot dog job tonight? Aren't you double-booked, then?'

'That's where you come in. You can either go to the school to talk to the teachers and principals and some students, and get some 'work' done, or you can help me at the hot dog store.'

'Well, what do I talk to them about?'

'Look, these days with the austerity measures, the schools get about 12 cents each from the government, right? So everyone is looking out for deals. I'm sure there's something they need us to do for them. Even if it's slightly criminal. It's for a good cause, eh?'

'And the hot dog stand?'

'It's just for like a weekly fair, for the summer. Then we might travel around the city following fairs. Selling hot dogs, picking people's pockets, joining the paying fights... I don't know what they do! Maybe smuggle stuff? Push drugs or something?'

> What do you feel about criminal things, actually?
> Ask more questions? Or go off to ask the silver-haired woman?

>>27466425
Teach her how to make hotdogs.

>>27466425
>> What do you feel about criminal things, actually?
Cool as long as it isn't anything too serous.
>> Ask more questions? Or go off to ask the silver-haired woman?
Tell her your gonna teach her how to make hotdogs later and then walk up to the old funny broad and ask her if she has any jobs you can do.

>>27466456
Go back to the house and do this, and ask what sort of criminal things a school would need done on the way there. Also, crime is fine as long as it's not too dangerous or likely to get us caught.

>>27466425

> Having dinner now, will be slightly slow in replying. Keep the suggestions coming though.

>>27466425
> What do you feel about criminal things, actually?
i explained it here >>27465021

>Hot dog
"Hot Dog stand sounds more fun. Dont want to deal with teachers or teenagers."

>Old lady
"Lets go talk to the group."

>>27466456
>>27466469
>>27466487
There must be a hotdog stand here.

>>27466456
>>27466469
>>27466487
>>27466496
>>27466522

'What do you think about breaking the law?' She asks, as an aside.

'Never really done it intentionally, but if it isn't like murder or rape...'

'Neither of those. I don't think, no.' Jo gets up. 'Let's head back.'

'I thought you said you wanted to talk to the group of people? You point at the conservationists, who are now spread out all over with a dangerous array of tools - pruning saws, shears, and the like. Then just as you think you've seen them all, there is the whine of a compact chainsaw being wielded by the old woman herself.

'But I'm tired,' Jo whines a little, then sits up. 'Well, if you've got the energy, go do it. I'm heading back to do a little shadow-boxing I guess.'

'I'll teach you how to make hot dogs too.'

'Yeah sure.' With that, Jo gets up and walks off abruptly. Even someone as obtuse as you can notice the change in mood; it seems as if she's suddenly decided this was a bad place to be, after running all the way here and up. You watch her go down the slope, shrug, and then head on to the old lady, careful not to surprise her.

'You wouldn't happen to have-'

BRRIEEEEEEEE-

'WHAT?' She turns around, then stops the chainsaw and takes out her earplugs so you can ask properly. 'Oh! It's so kind of you to join in! Well, I suppose you could drag some of the felled branches downhill to the compost heap... or maybe you could help Virginia over there? But of course, please don't feel obliged! You can join us for tea after.'

You turn to Virginia - oh, it's that girl who caught your eye just now. Nice.

> Go join Virginia
> Carry the felled branches downhill
> Let's go, mate, this is volunteer work.
> Other.

>>27466695
>> Go join Virginia
when theres ass we can't say no.

>>27466695
>> Let's go, mate, this is volunteer work.
we dont want to work. we 'definitely' dont want to work for free.

>>27466724

Seconded. Chat up time.

>>27466748
But the old lady is a one-liner throwing, chainsaw-wielding badass. We need her to teach us Chainsaw-Style Tai Chi.

>>27466748
seconded. lets go. jo running away should be a good enough sign too.

>>27466695

>Other.

excuse ourselves, we usually do a lot of charity work but we're short of money and can't really afford to work for free.

>>27466724

Go with this.

>>27466724
>>27466748
>>27466766
>>27466774
>>27466845
>>27466870

The woman shrugs. 'That's fair enough, but would you like to join our mailing list if you'd like to see our activities next time?'

You shrug and put your email address down. What could possibly happen, eh? Soon you're making your way back down, turning to glance at Virginia again. For some reason she looks wealthy, a lot wealthier than you'd expect for this bit of town. How odd.

At the foot of the hill is a quiet residential estate, houses and low-rises all around you. In the late morning, few people are about. Well. You could go back to your flat and Joanna, or you could do something else - how hard can it be to make hot dogs?

> Go back to the flat. Let's get grilling.
> Go to the town centre and high street.
> Go to the school Jo was talking about.
> Go elsewhere to plan and rustle up some income (Come up with some ideas.)
> Other.

>>27466695
>> Carry the felled branches downhill

hard work builds character

>>27466913
Noo, not your address! Go back and erase it! You are registered now!

>>27466913
>Go elsewhere to plan and rustle up some income
Lets go start working as a gigolo or a male stripper. With that shaking power we can make some nice cash.

>>27466913
> Go elsewhere to plan and rustle up some income
We have proven to be good at shaking that as, so lets get some money for shaking it.

>>27466984
>>27466951
agreed.

>>27467014
>>27466951
>>27466984
>>27466950

The thought occurs to you only while you're waiting downhill for something to happen, and nothing does. You've given your email address away now.

... Surely they're only a charitable organisation, aren't they?

Dismissing the worry, you decide to head down to the town centre, but the bit behind the main street, where the nightclubs are. Well, none of them would be open right now, but perhaps if you went to look, you might get some sort of a job twerking. What jobs would require twerking, though?

It's an interesting sort of thought to have at a bus stop, surrounded by old men trying not to piss themselves.

> How exactly do you intend to get an income from twerking? You're headed to the nightclub now, but... any other ideas?

>>27467051
>gigolo
>male stripper
they are both acceptable.

>>27467051
Male strip clubs,Gigolo,Porn star,Bar, and A daycare.

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>>27467082
Forgot image.

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>>27467082
>>27467068

> Fair enough.

On the bus you wonder if you'd like to be a male stripper. Is your body good enough to be doing that? Possibly... but maybe it'd be better to be a gigolo? Getting paid to have sex sounds like fun, doesn't it?

But then if it was fun, then why isn't everyone a hooker?

Also, how much twerking can you do before it starts to ache? Mind you, it's beginning to ache a little now...

As your mind continues its profound mullings, you fail to notice someone come up to you at a certain stop until he asks if he can sit beside you. You look up. He is a tall, dark-haired chap in an immaculately ironed and tidy suit. Wait, on a sunny summer day?

'I beg your pardon, but would it be permissible if I sat next to you?'

'Uh, yeah okay.'

'Excellent.' He sits and glances at you, smiling benignly. 'You must believe me, I am loathe to puncture the conventions of our urban society which state that one ought never engage a stranger in conversation in public transport. But I have... an issue, an issue, which I must bring up with you most urgently.'

'Uh... yeah, okay?'

'Do you happen to know Johanna?' He pronounces it the German way. 'Or indeed Joanna, Joanne, Jeanne, Jo, Jo Anne, or any such permutation?'

> Uh.... what say?

>>27467170
I'm an acquaintance of hers, but i don't know much about her honestly.

>>27467170
Maybe

>>27467170
"Nothing comes to mind right away. Mind to elaborate?"

>>27467170
"Not at all. Why?"

>>27467170
"Are they all the same person? How many names can a person have? I know a Jon, does that help? He's a dude though."

>>27467239
>I know a Jon, does that help? He's a dude though
i like it. we taught this to be true till yesterday anyways, so its fine.

>>27467256
>taught
*thought...

>>27467239
This seems like a good idea.

>>27467316
>>27467219
>>27467227
>>27467239
>>27467256

'You're asking me about, like, five people mate,' you say, retreating defensively into a worse version of your normal accent. 'Which one are you talking about? How many names this bird got? I know some Joannes, if you count banging as knowing, eh, eh?'

'If the Joanne I am seeking is one of the Joannes you have 'banged', as you put it with such immense wit, I will make sure your subsequent life will be a most lugubrious example to future generations of suitors.' The suit man says this with the benign smile still on his face. Is this a threat or what? What the hell is 'lugubrious'? 'Does the surname Günzel mean anything to you, mister?'

Günzel? Uh... wait, isn't that like a big company of some sort? You see containers with GÜNZEL stamped on them occasionally, sometimes being used as homeless shelters out in the poorer bits of the Peninsula. 'Kind of?'

'Good. Very good. So if you would be so kind as to put the names together? Johanna Günzel?'

'I only know someone called Jon. He's a guy, though.'

'Neck-length brown hair, lovely hazel eyes and a propensity for running? A slim build, perhaps? This Jon you speak of?'

... well, that does fit Joanna to a T. You recall how she was eager to get the fuck out of the hill forest earlier. What if...

> What say? You realise belatedly you've gone *past* the high street! Your gigolo dreams!! They will be deferred until later at least!!

>>27467361
"Nope, he's a fat bastard."

>>27467361
15 million for anymore information.

>>27467401
>>27467396
this if he accepts, think about tricking him and taking the money with his daughter.

>>27467361
"Nah, mate, Jon's a fat tosser, 'e is. Fuckin' slob nevah gets out 'is bed."

>>27467361
>lugubrious
"You seem like an easy to talk to kind of guy, but after your fancy threats and what not i think i aint talking to you. Go lugubriously fuck yourself. I need to go twerk some for cash."

>>27467361
well the only jon i know takes the nastiest shits in the world ,and can throw and take punches

>>27467453
>Go lugubriously fuck yourself.
supporting this.

so we learned who jo is, i got half a mind of selling the bitch out for not trusting us. but lets forgive her.

>>27467481
>>27467412
>>27467401
>>27467453
>>27467466
>>27467396
>>27467439

'Well.' You turn a little in your seat to face the man, who gives you a look of undivided attention. 'Firstly, Jon is not slim and all that. He's a fat tosser who eats eight pies for breakfast.'

'Is that so.'

'Yes. And you see, you talk fancy and you think I don't know what you mean, do you, but I do. I know what lugubrious means, so you should go lugubriously fuck yourself. I was going to get off the bus and do some twerking for cash, but-'

You're saying that a little too loudly, mate; people on the bus are glancing at you. The twerker for cash. Seriously, you started off yesterday as a fierce right hook, and now all you can think of is arse? But the black suited man smiles.

'Come now. What need I do, to induce you to perhaps let me speak to liebe Johanna?'

'Heh, you think you-' but then you spot him reaching into his suit pocket. The next thing he takes out is a stack. Of clean. Tidy. Crisp and fresh. Tenners.

'Here's a thousand dollars. Would you like to take the risks that come with asking for a higher price?'

You glance around. Everyone's glancing back now. The bus is still kinda going.

> Uh. Accept?

>>27467548
Ask for 2 million, this fucker is being to arrogant.

>>27467548
ask for 15% stocks of the company.

>>27467592
I agree with asking for stock.

>>27467571
>>27467592
>>27467598

> Just note that you remember how large Günzel is. It's a multi-billion dollar corporation. It seems unlikely you can ever get 15% stock.

> Or if this is meant as a silly request, you may proceed of course.

>>27467548
"If you get me a million, i could find this 'Jo Anne' you are looking for even if she's on the other side of the world, maybe, if you asked real nicely. I'll be getting off now, and if you threaten me a third time i'm gonna kick you so bad that whenever you think of threatening someone fancily you'll start to shiver so badly that you wont be able to say a word."

>>27467620
>Or if this is meant as a silly request, you may proceed of course.
thats exactly the point.

>>27467623
i like this one.

>>27467620
silly of course, the fucker is mocking us.

>>27467361
Not ringing any bells here mate
The only Jo's I know are blonde girls with blue eyes and the sort of shape you used to see on paintings

>>27467548
Am I the only one who is somewhat hearing our character talk like the english boss from saints row?
Because it is fucking killing me hearing the lines in his voice

Also tell him to get fucked, he can easily drop a hundred times that if this bird he is looking for is so important

>>27467687
>>27467646
>>27467636
>>27467623
>>27467598
>>27467592
>>27467571

'Well, if you want me to own up to knowing a Joanna, you'll have to give me a million.'

'Come now,' the man says. 'You know that is not reasonable.'

'Reasonable be fucked, mate! If you really want to know where she is, you'd give it, wouldn't you? Here's for threatening me, and then thinking you can pass an offer for a grand.' You get to your feet and push past him. 'And if you threaten me a third time, mate, I'll mess you up proper, and you'll be quaking next time you think of threatening someone one more time, you got me?'

'Of course,' he nods, also getting to his feet. To your annoyance, he follows you off the bus, neglecting to tap his Mussel card on the reader as well. You walk towards the high street, just a few more paces away, when you hear him speak again. 'My 'mate', if you must insist on that appellation, I'm afraid you really have no idea what you're getting into when you came to know Joanne.'

Just then your phone buzzes, and you check the message. It's Jo!

'Where the f are you get home immediately'

'So is that ignorance honest, in which case you will be spared any consequences, or are you merely acting, in which case I must hold you culpable, and treat you accordingly?'

He's just behind you. He's within punching range. What the fuck, man! You were having fun just this morning!

> Lamp him.
> Go home straightaway.
> Other.

>>27467798
>Other.
Go home in a roundabout fashion, sort of weave through alleys, duck around shit, under shit, cut through buildings. That sorta thing.

>>27467798
I honestly don't know who you are talking about you nutter now fuck off before I lamp you

>>27467798
Slap the bitch! Give him the beating of his life. We did warn him against threatening after all.

>>27467798
This is going to have some terrible consequences, but we did tell him what would happen if he threatened us one more time, and if we don't do something now, it just proves to him that he can push us around.

So in short.
>Lamp him.

>>27467824
Agreeing here
Not leading this fuck home is a good idea

>>27467798
>Lamp him.
We just warned him and he doesnt learn.. We'll need to teach him.

>>27467824
Do this but first agressively twerk at him for a bit, to show our dominance.

>>27467798

>Other.

lose him in an alley somewhere, do not lead him to our place.

>>27467840
>>27467824
if we kick him so that he cant walk or talk, then he cant follow us either. so
> lamp him.

>>27467798
> Lamp him.
Start with bitchslaps and finish it with a lariat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Iyul69NjbA

>>27467798
twerk on him to get some space then go to the bad neighborhood.

>>27467863
>>27467894
Twerking in this quest is going to be one of those jokes that sticks around long after it's ceased being funny, isn't it...

>>27467832
>>27467833
>>27467843
>>27467871
>>27467893
This will cause too many problems i suggest leading him to that ghetto neighborhood to get mugged.

>>27467902
Yeah, but you have to admit the first time it was used was hilarious.

>>27467907
This right here.

>>27467907
Dont go back on a threat. We said we'd slap him so we should slap him.

>>27467907
this is the better option since we didn't lay a hand on the fucker and can't get sued.
>>27467936
who said we would be kicking his ass.(we could just knock him out in that place and steal his shit clothes included)

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>>27467798
he talks like a fag mock him then hit him till he shuts up

>>27467936
Let's be honest, this guy probably has a gun or is a badass. Fighting him won't end well.

>>27467955
>who said we would be kicking his ass.
we did
>>27467798

>'And if you threaten me a third time, mate, I'll mess you up proper, and you'll be quaking next time you think of threatening someone one more time, you got me?'

>>27467971
It's already been established in this quest that guns aren't a common thing. He'll probably pull out some crazy moves and kick our ass though, that goes without saying.

We should still swing at him though.

>>27467893
>>27467936
>>27467827
>>27467832
>>27467833
>>27467843
>>27467871

You stop dead in your tracks, wondering if you should perhaps dash off in a random direction and try to lose this man. But then again, if he could find you on a random bus en route to the town centre, you don't reckon you can shake him easily.

Well, that leaves just one thing then. See, and people keep saying you're the aggressive one. You aren't, you just-

'Look here, mate, if you don't back off now-'

'I'm merely here to send you a message which you refuse to receive, friend-'

You swing around with your fiercest, mightiest right hook, putting your entire back and hip into it as your feet shift to direct the force right behind you. As you do so you do a little gurgle, feeling the air rush out of your lungs-

SMACK!

> cont'd.

>>27467971
No i'm more worried about lawyers and thugs he can pay to fuck with us.

>>27467893
i support bitch slap/lariat combo.
i am also samefagging right now, cause its obvious everyone else is doing it, so what the hell right..

>>27467993
I FUCKING TOLD YOU GUYS.

>>27467993
>As you do so you do a little gurgle, feeling the air rush out of your lungs-

>SMACK!

Called it.

>>27468017
Relax, note the lack of dice rolls, this is a cutscene beatdown, we'll kick his ass next time.

>>27467990
For the unpriviledged. He's the guy one of the richest people in the country trusted to find his daughter. This guy is packing heat.

>>27467993
"Ooh! That felt nice. Refreshing!"

>>27467993

Your hand - it can't move! The black-suited man is gripping on to your wrist, and for some reason your entire lower arm feels numb, tension and tone draining alarmingly out of the muscles. You watch in amazement as your tightly balled fist suddenly goes as limp as a dangling towel. Then the man's fingers move a little, and the numbness is washed away by a wave of PAIN. PAIN! The pain burns its way up your shoulders and you yell, drawing everyone's attention.

The man lets go of your hand, and your knees buckle, straight into a puddle of muddy water. Fuck, you can't even control them to dodge! He squats before you, and to your amazement takes a card, and the stack of money, out of his pocket.

'Now. You may call me Wystan. Here is my name-card, and here is a thousand of the City's finest dollars. And if I may beseech you, even implore you, to listen, since by merely begging or requesting I have gotten nothing but a most obstinate resistance from your incomprehension.'

'You what? My arm!' The pain is lessening, but still your arms hang half tensed and half loosed, refusing to listen to commands. What the fuck did he *do*?

'I want you to keep an eye on Johanna, and I want you to keep her out of trouble. If she suffers from your companionship or despite it, I will make your current pain seem like just a very minor, minor, trifling, minute fragment of an ant's bite on your smallest left toe. Make sure she is safe, and you'll be fine. Is that clear?'

He holds the money and name card out, and it's half a minute before you can will yourself to take it. He smiles. 'Just 31 seconds to recover! You are a tough man, most tough, most, most very tough indeed. Good bye!'

Your jeans are wet. That's not the fucking problem though, as you see him walk off. The crowds have long since ignored you.

> What... what do? Fuck, your hands!

>>27468067

In case anyone is wondering what Wystan sounds like, and in case the graphic as previously pasted has not been a hint, a pointer, some sort of incidental and important information that may easily be interpreted, then he sounds like the man on the right in what is below pasted, an internettal avenue to a video, a moving picture if you will.

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFD01r6ersw

>>27468067
Well, now we go ask Johanna what the fuck is going on here, I think.

>>27468067
Text jo.
"Fuck you. Fuck your trust issues. And especially fuck your daddy issues. I am on my way home. Nothing to worry, i'll just wont be able to use my arm for a week or so."

>>27468103
This and also mention to tell her we had gotten 1k to make sure she doesn't get into trouble.

>>27468103
>>27468125
Can we save talking to her until we actually get back to the apartment, and have had time to calm down a little, rather than firing off angry text messages now.

Give her a chance to explain what just happened before we start blaming her for everything.

>>27468136
This. We should clear our heads and be reasonable.

>>27468136
Thats not angry. Thats an accurate explanation of what happened recently that also conveys our feelings about those recent events.

>>27468136
This idea is best
Send her a message saying we are on our way back, went to see if our talents would be appreciated at a strip club

>>27468136
>>27468158
Agreed, head back and tell her what happened, and ask her what's going on. If she still keeps spouting the trust issues stuff after that, then we can flip our shit at her.

>>27468136
Our arm was curshed(?) by some weird guy who fancily threatens people, let her worry for a while. we can explain things in detail when we get home.

>>27468198
Nah, I think he just did some bullshit nerve strike attack.

>>27468198
>>27468212
He's the elite agent of the owner of a megacorporation. He has mods. That was an eletric pulse.

>>27468172
>>27468198
It sounds to me, when I read it, like we're basically saying "this is entirely your fault!" which isn't really true, or at least we don't know it's true, she probably didn't expect her family to send their superbutler to brutalize us.

Hence, go back and talk to her in person, rather than sending a text which will make her defensive, and make us less likely to get any information out of her.

>>27468099
>>27468125
>>27468136
>>27468158
>>27468172
>>27468187
>>27468188
>>27468103

You get up and - never mind the fucking twerking now - struggle off to get a bus. As you stagger into a seat next to a fogey with a laptop, someone buzzes you again. It's Jo!

'Oi! You aren't ded are you?'

You struggle to stop yourself from hurling expletives at her over the phone. Better to do it, after walking upstairs, face to face. She opens the door, and behind her is the rather pleasant smell of sausages grilling. She smiles, but the smile fades quickly when you don't return it.

'Come in, man. What happened to you?'

You sit down in the kitchen. 'I got... attacked. No. I attacked... someone on a bus.'

'What the fuck? Why'd you do that?'

> How do you want to begin your little speech?

>>27468279
saying her full name is enough

>>27468279
MAN IN SUIT DID THE BAD JUJU ON ME

>>27468279
"So when you mentioned that your family, you didn't mention that they were crazy in the 'send a secret agent to threaten your flatmate on the bus' sense."

>>27468303
We don't want to start of confrontational. Let's just tell her that someone was looking for someone named Joanna or Jo

>>27468279
Some suit followed me and asked if I knew a Johanna Günzel with those little dots over the u to make it proper German sounding, I kept telling him to piss off until I went to lamp him and he did some strange thing to my arm, it was my main one too so I might have to borrow yours for a few days while it recovers

>>27468279
"Your family's super butler came after me. The fucker talked all nice, but instead of asking me nicely to protect you he chose to threaten me repeatedly. So i was about to slap him to a pulp, but than he handed my hand back to me. Also, nice to meet you Miss fucking Günzel."

>>27468303

This sounds good. Maybe say it in a nicer way.

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>>27468349
> it was my main one too so I might have to borrow yours for a few days while it recovers

Unemployed Quest protag: never too injured for bad sex jokes.

>>27468352
This sounds good.

We just got beaten and threatened because of the girl, and we are in a kind of a bro relationship (bro-ship?) with her, and all these guys want to be all nice to her. /tg/ waifu senses are tingling. Stay in character faggots.

>>27468402
>Not wanting to be a cunt
>"HURR, STOP WAIFUING GUYZ!"

/tg/ really is incapable of a middle-ground isn't it.

>>27468349
>>27468352
>>27468401
Supporting

>>27468349
>>27468401
Agreed, we get to explain what happened, and imply handjobs.

What more do you need?

>>27468413
When you are fucked because of a bro, you call her on that shit. Thats middle ground allright.

>>27468279

> Your votes have been seen.

You stare at her, trying not to let her looks distract you from what she's done. She's changed into a loose blue blouse now, but she's still wearing short shorts which- NEVER MIND WHAT SHE IS WEARING OR BARING, MATE.

Jo does, however, make you a cup of tea, somewhat expecting you to reach for it immediately. But your hands are still numb and tingling, like continuously getting zapped by static. Fighting through that, you formulate a little, angry speech.

'Well. Someone came to me on the bus earlier, and was asking after you.'

'Oh, fuck me. Is it Wystan?' She buries her face in her hands, groaning. What the fuck has *she* got to groan about? You can't bury your face in your hands because you can't lift your hands from your lap! 'You tried to *hit* him? Why did you do that?'

'I thought he meant you harm! He was asking me to keep you from coming to harm, but he was doing it in a really roundabout way, so I thought he wanted to kill you or something, Miss bloody Günzel!'

> cont'd.

We need a secondary skill. Sabotage maybe?

>>27468497
Did anyone here think that? It was pretty obvious from the beginning.

>>27468497

'Oh god. Oh god.' She glances at your hands, which to your surprise are trembling, and sighs. 'I take it he did the nerveshock on you.'

'It feels like a nerveshock, yes. So my hands are ruined now. Do you know what I use my hands for? You'll have to do everything I use my hands for now, Miss Günzel, I'm telling you right now.''

'Will you please stop calling me that? Give me a second.' She goes off, running into her room, where you hear things being flipped around and poured; next thing you know she reappears at the doorway with what looks astonishingly like a Taser. 'Arms out.'

'Fuck no!'

'Arms out!' When you still refuse, she forcibly takes your right hand and puts it on the table, and you yelp in horror as she jabs the metal points into your flesh-

URGH! You shake violently for half a second, eyesight turning momentarily into static. But when it ends, your right arm feels... better. URGH! Okay, both arms now. 'Woah. So is that the anti-nerveshock device?'

'Kinda.' She puts it on the table, and then sighs and rubs your right hand gently. Damn these gentle womanly ways. 'Right. So what do you want to know? You're angry at me now, I bet.'

> What say to Joanna/Johanna?

>>27468547
He kept asking if we knew her, and we knew that she was kind of paranoid about people looking for her, so I assumed he was after her, as did others, it seems.

>>27468547

I'm sorry, think what?

>>27468547
what? protect/harm thing?
he never said to protect her but kept asking about her.

>>27468571
"So. What the fock we are goin' to do, m8ey?''

>>27468580
Yeah, tell her we're kinda pissed, because the he talked made him seem like some old-timey villain and we were trying to cover for her.

>>27468571
"Tell me what you didnt tell me about this morning because you didnt trust me. Also about your family, youself and why you are running away from them."

>>27468591
That he wanted to hurt her. The inexplicable money she had, his butlerly behavior, it was pretty obvious she's a 'runaway princess' kind of thing.

>>27468642
>he's a 'runaway princess' kind of thing.
we already knew that. that doesnt necessarily meant he wanted to protect her though.

>>27468226
>>27468571
Called it.

>>27468571
Actually surprisingly not
I am angry that I tried to punch some super butler asshole who was being too roundabout to say "hey do you know Jo people are worried about her" and instead sounded like an over educated prick threatening me

The rest of it.. Well I happily spent most of my time drunk and oblivious to simple things like you were female so me getting pissed off about you hiding your identity is sort of stupid the way I see it

>>27468659

Precisely. Runaway princesses are even more likely to have enemas.

>>27468639
this. also "also he seemed really annoyed at the tought of me engaging in coitus with you, so i think a fuck would be a nice way to get back at him for what he did. The fact that you are so hot helps immensely." if/when she rejects " At least give me handjob, dont you have any compassion for this poor friend of yours"

>>27468571
"Fucking right I am, although that could just be the searing pain talking. So I get it that you're the daughter of some rich bigshot with personal attack butlers on staff, and I get that you probably don't get on with him, which is why you're here doing this shit. So all I really need to know is, are there any more fucked up surprises waiting for me?"

>>27468718
Freudian slip or auto-correct?

>>27468718
I never thought they would have enemas more often than any other kind of princesses really
Unless that's like a shared fetish of runway princesses

Although given the shit Jo did in the first thread it may help...

>>27468731
Eh, seems kind of awkward and forced. I'd avoid saying that.

>>27468718
I'm curious about the sort of runaway princesses you've met, anon.

>>27468792
World of anime and manga is a wast place anon. With lots of runaway princesses living in it.

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44 KB JPG

>>27468836
>wast
using w instead of v...

>>27468750
>>27468623
>>27468639
>>27468673
>>27468731

You're really quite easily suggestible, you know that? A little caress of your poor handy wandy and you're all nice to Jo again now. 'Well, you'll be surprised to know I'm *not* angry at you. More at that butler-'

'He's a valet, actually, a valet.'

'Whatever! That valet who wouldn't bloody well tell me properly to keep you under watch, and instead just talked me into the whole nerveshock shit.'

'Wystan's testing you in his weird way,' she sighs. 'I think you passed, though.'

'Getting my arms tasered into oblivion is a pass?!'

'It's a very gentle nerveshock. A *proper* nerveshock is like crucio. For an entire day. He must have wanted to see if you were discreet and defensive enough to not give me away.'

'Okay, okay. Hold it just there.' You push her hand away and reach for the tea, which spills slightly over your jeans as you move it to your lips. Brilliant. 'So. What I know now is your last name, and that you have a crazy attack butler-'

'Valet.'

'VALET. On your staff. Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?'

> cont'd

>>27468854
Maybe he's a Roman.

>>27468874

Joanna nods. 'So you must have figured out why I don't want to get a job. I could of course get a job easily. It wouldn't even be a job because I could get paid for doing no work at all.'

'Your misfortune sears my heart, Jo.'

'Look, before I nerveshock you myself, and properly...' she grabs the bloody thing and you shrink back, then continues. 'Anyway. I'd either be working for Günzel, in which case they would find me, or I would be working for one of Günzel's competitors, in which case it would be worse still.'

'You could work in Nine-to-Ten's.'

'That's owned by Günzel.'

What? 'Um... McSweeney's?'

'22% Günzel, 23% Zheng-Zhou-Zhao.' OH, so that's what the containers going around saying 'ZZZ' meant! You never knew. 'You get the idea.'

'But why are you running away even? And if you're running away, like really running, then aren't you doing a pretty shit job of it? Your but- valet caught me like two weeks after we met. Why are you even in the City?'

'I'm not... necessarily running away,' she says. 'It's just... it's politically complicated. I have beliefs which are not quite the same from those of many companies, including Günzel. So I really don't want to have too much to do with them. I'd rather be a pugilist for now, or like someone who hustles deals.'

That might also explain why she isn't so good at it, then. A school, a hot dog stand... not necessarily bad, but you wonder what could come of those. Hmm. A silence falls over the two of you for a while, then she reaches for your hand again.

'I'm sorry to drag you into this mess.'

'Is it a big mess?'

'Some people are interested in me for different reasons,' Jo shrugs. 'So maybe.'

> What say/do? It's afternoon now. Will you help her to live free?

>>27469013
eh fuck it, its like i had anything better to do.

>>27468911
Or Chekhov

>>27469013
"Well i dont want to deal with any of that shit. So goodbye. Though it pains me to leave a home such a hot reverse trap, its just too much trouble."

Arent we just a guy who is currently enjoying his unemployment. Lets get away from this shit.

>>27469013
> What say/do? It's afternoon now. Will you help her to live free?

Well I don't to go all whiteknight and promise to fight the world or some shit, but beyond that I don't see that anything's really changed, and being a vigilante/hustler/hot dog salesman beats sitting around drunk.

>>27469013

Yeah sure, if you pay the rent. And if there's money for me.

>>27469013

we have nothing better to do anyway.

>>27469013
I'm with any choice for staying, just don't know what to say.

>>27469013
Well so long as I don't get nerve shocked again I think I can handle this

So that valet going to rat you out? Or is he cool with the whole you doing your own thing business?

>>27469013
You don't stand a chance. You can't protect her.

At least, not as you are now.

Invite her to join you in a journey to find your master, and learn the Final Art.

>>27469013
Fuck it, we're an unemployed guy who's good at hitting things, what else are we going to do.

>>27469093
>Arent we just a guy who is currently enjoying his unemployment. Lets get away from this shit.
I support this. Just because i like saying fuck it all after all this revelations and stuff.
Also, really i liked the quest because it was a guy enjoying unemployment without a care. Lets go back to that.

>>27469093
so we will become homeless than.
>>27469130
gets my vote

>>27469013
Sure, I mean it's not like we actually have to DO much, beyond occasionally get in big fights, and we were going to end up doing that anyway.

>>27469140
you do know we will probably become homeless or be forced to move in with the chick we slept with.

>>27469093
>>27469130
>>27469140

Lets go with one of these. Also how the hell did this turn into waifu shit from homeless neet quest? and you guys were angry at me just an hour ago for calling you on this shit

>>27469170
This is more like that guy in a roleplaying game who ignores every plot hook and then bitches about having nothing to do.

No-one's suggesting we go fighting evil or anything, we just keep doing what we're doing.

>>27469142
>>27469154

>you do know we will probably become homeless or be forced to move in with the chick we slept with.

you make it sound like its worse than dealing with this princess in distress.

>>27469013
>Will you help her to live free?
So basically just keep doing what we've been doing?

I'm fine with that.

>>27469170
You do remember that the valet guy basically said if anything happens to her as a result of our actions or inaction, he'll torture us to death, right?

Walking out could be a bad move.

Urrgh. Look, you just wanted to be unemployed, blow all your savings, drink by yourself and pass out and have hangovers the next morning! What's this with life giving you a purpose?

'Does this mean I'm your bodyguard?' You say after a long pause.

'No. You're not.'

'Does Wystan know I'm not?'

'He won't hurt you! He is a lot nicer than he looks. And he is a lot smarter than he sounds.' She throws her hands up in the air. 'Look, fine. I'm not actually asking you to do anything for me, right? You've already gotten a nerveshock for that trouble.'

'Will Wystan rat you out or anything? Like, to your family, or to the other companies?'

'No...' Jo sighs. 'He's been let go by Günzel because he failed to 'secure' me, as the term goes. So he's suffering too, a little, and it's been my fault. I actually saw him at the park this morning, but I didn't want to tell you. So he jumped the gun I suppose.'

'I just wanted to enjoy unemployment,' you sigh.

'Well, go ahead and do it then.' Jo stands up. 'Bratwurst is in the pan, I'm getting ready to do the hot dog stall thing, and you can do whatever you like. I just want you to know that if you need help, call me, I'll be there. Can I think the same of you?'

> Oh, for fuck's sake. What say?
> Also, if you're not helping her out, then what do now? It's the afternoon. On Tuesday. You're free! And with a thousand bucks!

>>27469249
Teach how to make hotdogs and tell her the second guys with guns come she is out of luck.

>>27469249
>You're free! And with a thousand bucks!
Go to the fanciest brothel and spend a day among the clouds.

>>27469249
Is there some reason we can't still do the school vigilante job or help out with the hot dog stall though?

I mean, that stuff isn't really related to her family, so it shouldn't cause us much trouble.

"Of course, as long as what you need help with isn't something like, I dunno, murderous corporate killteams or something, that's kind of out of my league."

>>27469290
this is a vote staying.

>>27469299
This. Also gives us a reason to want to earn more money since we'll be left penniless again.

>>27469290
Tell her the second guys with guns come she is a human shield.

>>27469290

She does know how to make hotdogs. You go over to poke at the hotdogs. Oh these are bratwursts!

... And they're pretty good, actually. Springy and snappy.

Also, to clarify, what she's saying is that she won't ask anything of you in a routine sense, as if you were a bodyguard or a valet like Wystan. You're not staff, you're a flatmate.

>>27469249
"Yeah, sure, and I don't mind doing that school vigilante thing and that, I'm just not up for getting wrapped up in crazy corporate conspiracies."

>>27469249

I say we go with her and help her out. we're still a but affected by that shock treatment so going after gangs is not a good idea.

"Hold on, I'll come with you."

>>27469328
well i vote for staying then and to ask her to be more honest next time.