Jesus flying fuck 30 people?

>>27512545
That sounds like a fun game.

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>>27512545

Tell stories, you faggot

But what if he organized a 30-person group in order to massacre 27 of them in the second session?

I had one vaguely similar.
'Cept my dm only invited 10 buggers.
It was horrid, he was one of those Combat heavy dm, the kind that roll initiative every other turn and tell you to deal on it.
Absolute worst.

>>27512559
Yeah man I don't know.

And the GM even went with the completely typical "you all meet in a bar" start. Like, one guy, a poet, is in a bar, and twenty nine people show up, order drinks, and the poet joins us for no fucking reason.

>>27512600
Seriously, turn this into the Canterbury Tales

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>>27512545
Tell us more about your plight. I wanna read this.

>mfw OP was in a 31-man PnP Online game.

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>Join an online campaign
>Set in historical Venice, 16th century
>Make character, typical merchant
>Two pages of backstory
>Throw in one little line about being Jewish
>Game begins
>Goes alright, GM is rather wordy
>Second session, shit hits the fan for my guy
>Everyone's against me except the other PCs
>So much that it breaks my immersion
>Bring it up OOC
>"They hate you because you're Jewish," says GM
>"That's bullshit," says me
>Get in argument with other players who think it's okay to dick my character over for one little line in the backstory
>Leave after the first session

>>27512608
...wait.

A Knight.

Two other fighters.

Five bards.

Twenty commoners.

On a trip to a shrine.

Meeting in a bar.

FUCK YOU OP. FUCK YOU.

>>27512600

That sounds absolutely hysterical. I'm pretty sure a 30-person group qualifies as a mercenary company.

>>27512629

What did you expect?

>>27512600
That's fucking amazing!
> 30 people meet on a tavern and dexide to all go together in an ADVENTURE

>>27512629

DM's an asshole, but honestly, Jewishness cannot be dismissed as "one little line" in this context. You make yourself Jewish in 1500s Europe and that instantly becomes one of your character's defining traits.

>>27512649
Mead is an amazing thing.

>>27512635

What am I missing here?

>>27512635
Ha, this is priceless.

>>27512635

Agreed, OP's density actually pissed me off.

OP you had the chance to be in a game that would literally have been the Pen and Paper equivilant of one of the greatast masterpieces in the english language and you said "Fuck diss noise, I gots loot to grind".

>>27512679
It's basically Canterbury Tales

>>27512679
OP's post was literally the Canterbury Tales. It's a set of 14th century poems about...exactly what OP posted.

Among other things, it's probably the origin of "You all meet in a bar..."

>>27512679

The Canterbury Tales by Sir Geoffery Chaucer. The sickest-ass rhyme ever dropped by a honkey.

>>27512679
It's the Canterbury tales, one of the first printed books in English, and so a defining part of the language. It's the exact same sort of characters on the exact same plot.

>>27512576
This guy

>>27512707
Didn't know about the bar, guess it was set too high for me.

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>>27512679
A high school education.

>>27512629

Was your character named Antonio?

>>27512729
Puns are the lowest form of wit.

>>27512732
No, he was black and named Antwon.

>>27512731
I graduated high school. We didn't read this in any of my literature classes. I've never even heard of this. Maybe its cause I'm from Murikka. I don't know.

>>27512764
Actually, I'm from Mercia too, one of the worst states for educated granted, but I didn't see it until college.

>>27512753
I though that was sarcasm? But in retrospect it is obviously YOUR MOM!

>>27512764
I'm an American as well, and I had to read it in high school.

>>27512775
No it's your mom.

>>27512785
We didn't have senior English. We had time management, lesbians, and weed.

>>27512764
'Merican
I didn't read Canterbury either. Not in High School, not in College.

>>27512785
Probably varies from district to district as some religious nutjob might of complained because of all the sex. Or the religious corruption.

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>>27512658
Well, at least you tried.

>>27512823
I went to a school of 300 in the backwoods of GA and even my school read that story.

What are they teaching the rest of this country?

>>27512863
see>>27512835

>>27512835
In a Catholic school

>>27512878
Or some parent who spends all their time looking for things their children can't read or watch or play because of "values".

>>27512840
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfA_mKHT1_I

Pretty good movie in 2004.

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>>27512863

When did you have the time to read it when you were busy killing Persians?

>>27512906
Herodotus can sometimes be fun as shit to translate. Did you know that the goat pass by which the Persians travelled along contained the famous landmarks of the Dusky Buttocks and the Seats of the Penis Faces?

>>27512877
I lose more and more hope for the future of my country the more I find out about other people's retardation.

Why must you dispel my blissful ignorance?

>>27512906
We ran em off ages ago. All we have to do to run em off now is start playing the banjo.

>>27512863
Jane Austin and Shakespeare were the two most common British writers.

A year of only American stuff. Hemmingway, Melville.

>>27512629
um dude, you played a jew in 16th century europe, it's pretty much in character for the christian PCs to hate on you.

Modern sterotypes about jews and money began way back then because it was against the church for a christian to lend money so pretty much all bankers were jews. Do people like bankers in today's society?

>>27512954
>spells Shakespeare correctly
>misspells Jane Austen

>>27512954
So they just skip medieval and early renaissance writings altogether?

>>27512835

Classic Literature always gets a free pass on sex and corruption. It's because you have to actually read and comprehend the text, and be intelligent enough to parse the antiquated language, to really understand how filthy it is.

>>27512545
I've seen something like that done in play-by-post forums, but on instant messaging? Daum..

>>27512629
Everyone hates Jews. Its OOC for the PCs not to hate you too

>>27512994
That won't stop some people.

>>27512576
That's what I thought.

That GM thread?

I made a prince for a campaign, and on my first adventure the party was assaulted by bandits. I had to run as everyone else was slaughtered because the GM wanted to be edgy about character deaths.

When I got to town I was taken in by a merchant, and he told me I could only stay with him if I cut wood. I was railroaded into being a lumberjack for months.

Eventually I found a dungeon, and when I explored it I found some hot chick. Turns out she was being kept there by some sort of demon. After fucking for a week the demon showed up, and instead of fighting it I had to hide while he tortured her. Eventually he found me and forced me to watch while she was tortured, then let me go after I bluffed and convinced him I never touched her. He blinded me for trespassing though.

A year later I'm at some kings mansion, when the demon shows up again. He's about to kill me when the DM brings this Mary Sue DMPC 'Queen of Beauty'. Before I can do anything the chick and the demon start fighting. They use magic to turn into a bunch of random stuff like an acorn, then fly out of sight. Eventually they come back and she kills him, then she dies.

I wasn't able to do anything that campaign. It sucked, all the GM did was railroad us and make us listen to his shitty stories all Night.

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>quitting the PnP version of Canterbury Tails
There's no way OP could be this dense. Right? This has to be some kind of ruse.

>>27512936
The names come from one of the lesser-known Hercules myths

>>27512993
Well, there was some focus on courtly romance and the Romance genre. But yes?

>>27512963
I'd feel like an idiot, but I hate Jane Austen so I'm now going to claim that her name is beneath me. Because that's clearly the mature and intelligent reaction.

>>27513071
Someone can tell a joke without it being trolling, you know.

I'd say he told it well.

I believe that everyone who thinks OP's post is REAL is a 'tard who missed the joke. It didn't happen, he was just summarizing Canterbury Tales

>>27513041

not really it was a veiled "what if it was a game" thread and now seems to have become a lit thread

>>27513071
I think he may have been ignorant, as I was to this until finding this thread.

>>27513094
I know.

>>27512963
to be fair the US has the major city of Austin.

>>27513099

I apologize I didn't read the whole post before responding

>>27513141
I apologize all the more. After reconstructing my memory I checked my sources and realized I fucked up a few of the details.

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>>27512545
> We're on a pilgrimage to a shrine
chaucer_detected

> I left after the first session.
You are a fucking idiot and you should feel bad.

>>27512731
Hey there now, I'm not a native English speaker, the only literature we covered in those classes was Romeo and Juliet.

>>27512629
>Jewish
>In 16th century Venice
>Get hated on
That is historically correct. If anything, it should have heightened your immersion. Did you think "The Merchant of Venice" was just anti-Semitic propaganda? There were laws passed specifically to protect citizens from Jewish bankers.

Clearly Chaucer was a DM, perhaps THAT DM in particular, who traveled back in time with the collected stories.

Dude, your dick jokes could have made it to classic literature.

>>27513250
It's possible that his GM was going over the top, but I actually really like it when my DM has NPC's be rude to my characters. If I'm playing a Half Breed, especially a half orc or tiefling, or perhaps even a fullblooded goblin or orc, I fully expect prejudice from NPC's.

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>Your face when you will never reach that shrine.

>>27513277
Meh. People should put more consideration into Race/Ethnic Group when making a PC. The idea that its just flavor and shouldn't affect the experience is ridiculous.

Though, there is a line, sure. But it sounded like anon just didn't grasp the significance of his character being Jewish in a historical setting.

>>27512629
Dude I'm Jewish and even I would know better than to roleplay as a Jew in 16th century Venice and not expect hate...

That was a lot of people who didn't get OP's joke.

>>27512545
>join roleplaying campaign
>see people roleplaying instead of playing complicated tactical tabletop fightning game
>leave campaign

Troll. Feed him until his stomach explodes.

These campaigns are usually exactly what they sound like. And what they sound like is 30-90 people all talking at the same time. It's like a weaboo chatroom. They're trainwrecks

>Band of soldiers questing for magic item to control the winds and get us home quicker
>Start off raiding villages, we fight off the town guards and collect treasure
>Suddenly an entire army attacks, sentries we sent out didn't warn us because "they were too busy getting drunk and raping the women" (wtf?)
>Manage to get back to ships, everyone's at about quarter HP, most of the treasure we got was lost
>Told supplies are low and have to gather food on nearby island
>Island is full of giants, half the party killed by them
>Rest of party killed by large sized ghouls next session
>No original characters left but we finally meet this wizard who gives us a bag of holding with compressed air, at least we finished the campaign
>"As you see the shores of your homeland, suddenly a storm arises as a crewmember accidentally everts the bag"
>Next session we're polymorphed into pigs while the DMPC has sex with a hot sorceress
For fuck's sake...

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>>27516144

>>27512732
If anything it would have been Shylock, surely? Since Antonio is christian.

>>27516144
Yeah I was in that campaign too man, to be fair we were kind of assholes, specially the "sticking flaming torch in eye" part, though you could blame the DM for that since it was his character

> Be a noble sent a diplomatic mission
> Flirt with king's daughter and take her away with you
> King flips his shit, manages to get all the neighboring kingdoms to wage war against our single fucking city
> Not really a problem, our walls are too much for them, we have ample stores of food and we'll eventually outlast them
> Enter DMPC, a raging barbarian who is apparently immune to everything we can throw at him a proceeds to rape our army on a daily basis, everytime he appears we have to run away
> He manages to kill my character's brother, another PC and our best fighter. He decides to be a dick about it and ties his corpse to his chariot and drives it around the city
> The corpse it's so damaged we can't even resurrect him
> Decide to do something about it
> My character is shit in combat, but I managed to get my hands on a poisoned arrow to make up for it
> While DMPC is around killing dudes, I sneak behind him and try to hit him with the poisoned arrow
> Natural 20
> DM shrugs, it doesn't matter since the NPC is immune to damage. I did just hit him on the heel and nothing else. I point that he still has to roll to resist the poison, though
> Natural 1. His constitution gets damages so much that it goes to 0. Instant death, no matter how much damage resistance he has
> DM throws a fit, calls me a cheater. I cannot stop laughing. He storms off telling me that the campaign is over

It was a shitty campaign, but wonder how it could have ended...

>>27512608

Glad I wasn't the only one to pick up on that.

>>27516410

If this is the same DM as I think it is then he really doesn't like it when players start breaking the system.
I mean, I tried playing as a Diplomancer Cleric with the rest of my party agreeing to be minions I picked up on the way. Things were going great until I tried to overthrow the government at which point the That Guy of our group betrays me to the local authorities and they basically up and crucify me.

Thank fuck I took that feat that let's me auto-ressurect after a set amount of time.

>>27513326
Goddamnit Chaucer`

>>27516465

You were a total That Guy in that campaign. You learnt Self-Transmogrify just so you could fuck animals.

And only HALF of the horrific crossbreeds were cool.

Does anybody remember that wierd as fuck game of Changeling where I spent the entire game with the head of a donkey or something? Basically trying to act as some kind of marriage councillor to a Royal Fae Couple.

That shit was just wierd.

>>27512608
That's the joke.

>>27512629
>merchant
>jewish
muh shekels

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>Typical sci-fi setting
>My character is a generic badass human marine
>Give him a suitably generic backstory because I just want to play the damn game
>GM sends the ship I'm in to some planet to get something I don't even remember
>There's an alien spectre thing in the ship
>The GM tells us he's here to judge me so I can become the first human ghost or something
>Complain to the GM that I didn't know this would be a paranormal campaign
>He tells me the alien is still alive and that I should have read the setting backstory
>Anyway shit hits the fan and the planet is being attacked by robots turning humans into zombies (what the fuck)
>The retard at my side charges some drones, gets ripped apart, spends the rest of the campaign rerolling a character
>After some combat, finding another character and taking her along because the GM railroaded it, we find some monolith (btw the alien died)
>the gm says when I get close to it I start floating and seeing shit
>what the fuck
>We go back to this HUGE space station that's basically the capital of the universe
>Dick around for a while, getting party members
>Finally go meet the council because the GM was getting tired of my shit
>They make me a banshee and tell me to stop the guy that killed the alien banshee
>k
>get a cool ship and the GM gives me this huge galaxy map full of collectables, side missions and the places where I need to go to advance the plotline
>Literally spend the rest of the campaign and the next 4 campaigns doing sidequests and collecting garbage, ignoring the huge "FUCKING GO HERE THE GALAXY DEPENDS ON YOU" sign on the map
>mfw

This is why you railroad, kids.

>>27516612

Should have been on mine.

>Roll up generic as fuck space marine supersoldier in power armour with energy shields.
>Other player is somewhat ascerbic AI that I can house in my armour
>We fight crime! or something, I guess.
>Start on a ship as it's being boarded by the bad guys.
>Escape the ship to this stupidly large terraforming project made by ancient aliens.
>...why is it always ancient aliens?
>Whilst trying to find some ancient alien handguns inadvertently release the nids.
>Nearly get tricking into killing all life everywhere forever by Alien Servo Skull analogue.
>Blow the giant habitat up with our crashed spaceships reactor instead.

everything went better than expected.

>>27516612
>>27516643
Oh, were you guys using that shitty sci-fi system? That thing's trash. Might as well be playing a video game.

>>27512576

What would the gaming equivalent of Sir Topaz be, anyway?

For those of you who didn't waste your college degree on medieval literature: Chaucer wrote himself into the pilgrims in the character of Sir Topaz, who was primarily the narrator explaining the tales the other pilgrims tell but was coerced by the other pilgrims basically arguing "it's your fucking turn, Jeff".

He promptly tells this obsolete bullshit tale about a fairy queen or some shit and it's meant to be super-archaic by the standards of the time. He doesn't actually finish his tale because the other pilgrims boo him until he stops.

Would this be like one guy showing up to a 4e game and then you see his character sheet and it's AD&D?

>Join an online campaign
>Set in historical England, 14th century, supposed to be a low combat lighthearted fantastical game of romance and amusement
>game goes full magical realm, we get lost in the woods, mind control love potions, polymorphing folks, and beastiality with fucking fae
>fucking queen of the fae for that matter
>dropped entirely without a second thought
I know that feel, OP. I know that feel.

>>27516690
So did you play with >>27516577

I thought that game was set in Greece?

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>>27516612
....did you actually play a campaign where a DM ran this story or were you just ragging on how generic Mass Effect's story is?

>>27516702
I forget. The GM was making heavy use of prithee and alas, thou art translated-!

I kind of tuned out after a while.

>>27512731

Guy who wrote his dissertation on the Pardoner's Tale here.

Even in England, you don't really read Chaucer until A-level, which is just before university, because it involves learning Middle English. And if you aren't reading Chaucer in Middle English, you're reading Chaucer WRONG. And even then it's basically just the Miller's Tale. That said, fuck yes the Miller's Tale.

Anything else is university-level given the dense historical context required to study it and get like half the shit Geoffy C. was on about.

>>27516705
I don't even play PnP games and I actually like Mass Effect's story

>>27516602

Did someone say Shekels?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0NstnhUak8x

>>27516657

Honestly, it's not so bad if you use it well. I've had horrible games where I'm fighting Aliens in WW2? Ugh.

Although that does remind me of another good one.

>Me and a friend roll up a Rogue and Alien Barbarian in a Sci-Fi game.
>We've come in a session or so late, but the GM slides us in pretty easily.
>The other PC's and DMPC (a pair of robots and a pair of setting unique wizards) hire us to smuggle them to some planet.
>DM reminds me that I took the flaw "Enemy: Local Crime Lord" in order to afford my pimping as fuck starship by siccing a really ineffectual bounty hunter on me.
>I kill him in a quickdraw by shooting first.
>Blast our way off the planet.
>Get captured the enemies giant moonbase/space station planet buster.
>Rescue the final PC, a space princess.
>The DMPC get's killed by the BBEG during our escape.
>I try to take the money and run, but the other players guilt trip me and I end up helping out at the end.
>I nearly kill the BBEG and his wingmen with my pimping as fuck Spaceship.
>I basically save the entire day.
>Get a medal as well for my troubles.

Things didn't go so well in the follow on campaign. I knew I should have put more points into contact loyalty...
At least the GM let me play as the guy who used to own my Pimping as Fuck Starship when I got frozen in space-concrete.

>>27516705
>tfw I had a DM run Kotor word for word.
None of had played. Then some of our friends joined halfway through and quickly figured it out.

>>27516726

>That's anti-Semitic
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ZbxcNtK1BK

>Join a game set in a city-state gripped by internal conflict
>two big merchant houses all up in each other's murder-grills
>roll up some suave motherfucker not technically belonging to either house, but bros with the heir to one house
>ready for some intrigue duels and shit
>guy brings his girlfriend to the game
>she's playing some 13 year old girl from the other house
>suddenly bro's character dumps his NPC fiancee to shack up with this jailbird
>only meets her once and pops a million boners
>gm goes along with it
>i try to get stuff going, tell bro he's a chump
>end up stabbed, dying
>get the chance to be saved, choose not to
>a pox on both your shitting houses
>leave game, never come back

>>27516744
Bullshit you shot first.

>>27512764
I'm 14, I grew up in America, and I read this book for fun. Today's literature is so mainstream.

>>27516712
I'm confused why you would post it as if it happened in a PnP setting. I'm also confused why you would post it here. I know /v/ has nogaems but I don't feel it fits here either.

>>27516745
How could you play KotOR with a group? The whole story was based around Revan's fall and rebirth. Was someone really important and everyone else was just mooks?

>>27516790

Hey, American literature is still being haunted by the ghost of that shit David Foster Wallace. Fuck American literature.

>>27512764
from a somewhat rural part of 'murrica and I've heard of this shit. Be educated dude. also who's enjoying that shutdown!

>>27516758
to be fair, you kinda asked for it by playing Mercutio.

>>27516785
That's what I said? I mean, it would be retarded for me not to shoot first, what with me getting the suprise round in.

>>27516801
An NPC played the spoiler spoiler spoiler, but it was also rolled into that guy who is your sidekick from the very start, so I was actually surprised when I played the game for real.

The importance of spoiler spoiler was sort of downplayed, which wasn't that hard to do.

>>27512545
Epically done, OP. Epically done.

I want a Canterbury Tales Quest now...

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>>27516801
>I'm confused why you would post it as if it happened in a PnP setting.

Welcome to /tg/, we usually lurk for a few days to get a feel of the board before we start posting, but apparently you skipped that process entirely, which is a big no no!

I suggest you lurk more and stop making a fool of yourself

>>27516821

Bullshit, Mercutio is the hypest shit. Even Baz Lurman knows.

>>27516827
Nonono, maybe my australian accent got in the way. That was "Bullshit, (theres no fucking way) you shot first"

>>27513250
>anti-Semitic
Merchant is actually pro-Simitic. It was dangerously progressive for its time.

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>>27516758
>>27516690
>>27512629

Stop using Shaking Spear Unisystem guys. I know it claims it can do any type of game, but it's really outdated.

>>27516851
Explain to me again how the portrayal of Jews as shekel-hoarding scum is pro-semetic?

>>27516851
I've seen it argued both ways. Mostly it seems to come down to the performance, as the play itself is adaptable enough to play it either pro or anti.

>>27516865

Because the only way the people of Venice had a chance at beating him was being lying, dishonest scum.

Aka the Jew was actually in the right.

>"Is this a dagger I see before me?"
>"Fuck's sake, Mike, stop dithering. Detect Magic. Yes, and it's a +2 Dagger of Regicide. GO MURDER YOUR FUCKING KING"

>>27516865

Because Shakespeare implied Jews were Human.

>Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions; fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, heal'd by the same means, warm'd and cool'd by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge? If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that. If a Jew wrong a Christian, what is his humility? Revenge. If a Christian wrong a Jew, what should his sufferance be by Christian example? Why, revenge. The villainy you teach me, I will execute, and it shall go hard but I will better the instruction.

>>27516758
What an awful plot. The DM that came up with the plot should die of shingles.

>>27516144
>>27516410
Fuck you. I don't know how I could have been more blatant that she wasn't trustworthy, but you all sat down and ate anyway. It's not my fault none of you can roll double-digits on your saving throws.

>>27516895

Ahhhh, you missed the best part:

Shylock: ...if it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge. He hath disgraced me, and hindered me half a million; laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies; and what's his reason? I am a Jew.

>>27512962
>Modern sterotypes about jews and money began way back then because it was against the church for a christian to lend money so pretty much all bankers were jews.
Actually, Christians weren't allowed to charge interest on loans. That doesn't mean they weren't bankers, the Medici family being a famous example. I think they just had you pay something extra, that was totally not interest, no sir, not at all.

>>27512545
You backed out of a giant Canterbury Tales campaign? You're a faggot, OP.

>>27516972

I know, he's worse than the Pardoner

>>27512962
>>27516947

What's interesting to point out is that the historical stereotype of the Jew is a money-grubbing, brutish thug that lives on the outskirts of society, uneducated but possessing a base cunning that allows them to trick good, honest Christians out of their earnings.

And then suddenly the current stereotype of the Jew is a money-grubbing banker that lives in the middle of society, highly educated and possessing the highest echelons of power that they use to trick good, honest Christians out of their earnings and livelihoods.

Get your stereotypes right people, it's almost like you're making them up as the times change to continue the prejudice and discrimination.

>>27512629
>The Merchant of Venice

>Wierd ass mystery campaign where we're all high level professionals
>My character is called in to investigate an NPC's suffering from strange blood loss and marks on the neck.
>After multiple blood transfusions the problem isn't going away.
>I multiclass into a abjurer set up protection from evil wards on the doors and windows.
>Dumb bitch of an NPC opens the doors and windows due to the smell.
>Dies.
>A few days later kids start dissappearing from their beds.
>Manage to pursuade the PC to open up the dead NPC's crypt.
>Dead NPC is a Vampire, suprising nobody.
>One staking later were all tracking down a vampire lord
>Take out his London holdout apartment by calling a locksmith and telling him we locked ourselves outside.
>God bless Air of Authority perks.
>Another PC get's bitten.
>Chase the Vampire Lord and his minions across a whole continent before shanking him just outside of his castle.

Good fucking times.

>>27512764
I'm from Murika and I read this, but I went to a private school, so I'm probably the exception.

OK. I've got one for you guys.

>Join semi-historical 14th century campaign with DM who seems to be a pretty cool guy.
>Roll up a scholar/poet/philosopher type.
>Other players end up bailing, but DM say's it's ok, he'll just run a single person game for me for a while while we look for new players.
>Notices my backstory includes a Lost Love type character.
>Decides my that she has in fact died and been taken away to the underworld so I can't res her unless I find her soul.
>I (not really a combat focused character) am attacked by 3 beasts in the woods as I am looking for a way to find her soul. Get rescued by DMPC.
>End being led all around hell by DMPC who just won't shut the fuck up.
>Progress through all 9 circles of hell. Get to do basically fuck all but listen to the DPMC prattle on and on about all the people we see in Hell.
>Get to the bottom level with Satan himself, only to find that my love's soul is not in Hell, and I must continue the search.
>Fuck it, quit the game, never looked back.

It could have been a really cool campaign if I had actually gotten to play at all instead of just listening to the DMPC go on and on about how all these people the DM hates and how they're being punished.

>>27512835
I went to Catholic School, we read the shit out of Canterbury Tales. Generations of american children read Canterbury Tales before them and they were far more religious than this lot. Quit trying to turn every fucking subject into your personal vendetta against religion.

These people didn't read Canterbury Tales in public school because the government is purposely trying to keep the citizenry as stupid and brainwashed as possible:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW0VxxoCrNo

>>27517042

Dante's Divine Comedy is basically the first example of self-insert fanfic historically recorded.

>>27517075
First off, you're an idiot. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

Second, is there any purpose in reading Canterbury Tales *besides* it's historical relevance? Yes, it was an important early step in Western literature. But why is it more important to read Canterbury Tales then it is to read The Republic? Or the more 'contemporary' works that follow after that are important for more then just their historical relevance, which might as well be a bit fed to students in a history text. What is gained on a student level? Keep in mind that the student is in high school, and is trying to get an introductory knowledge of every subject. Not a college student who is trying to attain more advanced and specialized knowledge?

>>27512792
you're mom

>>27517209
Yeah I never really though it was all that awesome literarilly speaking. Important, but there are much better texts out there. Unless of course all you're looking for is a bunch of medieval dirty jokes...

>>27516803
Wallace is nothing compared to the utter overhyped shit that is Norman Mailer.

I remember one quote by an editor who didn't know it was Norman Mailer described his writing style perfectly, "I wonder what this guy writes like sober." He was then fired by the chief editor for crimethink.

>>27516465
>icwhatudidthere.jpg

>>27517209

First Major work in English. In addition, it's a good intro to Middle English because it's fucking hilarious.


OP, I was actually reading that just last night. Well done.

>>27517294
Right, how are those important for novices?

Knowing what the roots of something are is important. However being intimately familiar with those things is something required of people who are mastering the subject. It's not important for a High School student to have read something just because it began things far greater then it.

Your point is that something is important solely because it's old. And while Canterbury Tales is important, there are many texts that educators rightly judge to be more important for their students to learn.

It's also not particularly important for a High School student to learn Middle English.
And now I'll be going to back to reading Arabian Nights.

>>27517209
>bawww, you called me out on how I was speaking out of my fedora-wearing ass, you are a stupid head. That aside, I will now complain about how Chaucer is irrelevant to modern education even though the point of my last post was that religious types were too pleb for based Chaucer and that we were at fault for the horrid state of american education.

>>27517403
>Calling Samefag on someone who isn't the same fag.

That was my first post. And I was contradicting the notion that 'not teaching Chaucer' means the schools are a tool being used by the government to deaden the minds of its citizens.

>>27517366
When I say read the shit out of it, you have to understand that I was using something called "hyperbole". You've probably ran into it's use once or twice in your literary career. You fucking aspie.

File: 1380641252418.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 79 KB, 1400x910)

79 KB JPG

>>27516758
My GM ran a similar game to this, but it was in some weird-add flying city with Pegasi and vigilantes and magic and shit. He was a giant weab AND was watching a lot of GoT to boot, so I guess this was to be expected.

>>27516465
Laid it on too strong man.

>>27517446
You.... still haven't really answered what's important about Chaucer though, besides his historical importance.

There's just been a big sentiment of 'holy shit, haven't read Chaucer, what's wrong with your school?' and I have yet to get a good answer on why reading Chaucer is important for high school students.

Stop with the sarcasm and 'wit' and either answer the question or admit you're wrong.

Implying either of those will happen.

>>27516690
Midsummer Nights Dream?

>>27517424
Every other generation had to learn about chaucer. It is part of a trend in the dumbing down of education across the board.

Also:
>Children no longer learn chaucer in HS.
>It must be those filthy christians who banned the books because of it's lewd parts.
>No, it's because it's a casualty in the government's campaign to keep the masses ignorant.
>Chaucer is superfluous. My commie overlords were right to remove it from the curriculum. Also you are an idiot for pointing this out.

What is it like to be such a massive, hypocritical shill of a faggot?

>>27512545
Let me get this straight...
you actually LEFT this game?

>>27517574
I'm not the person blaming Christians, I'm the person who thinks the video you linked doesn't prove much of anything, and that teaching Chaucer to high schoolers is unnecessary because there are more important texts for them to be reading.

Do you want me to use a name or something?

>Playing a semi historical campaign in 19th century England
>Joined the game a bit late, roll up a rogue
>End up attempting to mug another player
>He's a paladin/cleric
>beats the shit out of me
>He is looking for away to help his dying father who he fears is being poisoned by another player
>Decide to help him cause I'm a sucker for noble and righteous people
>We find the guy who sold the player poisoning his father
>take him back to the paladin/cleric's mansion and confront the other player
>the guy is the paladin's foster brother
>He kills his foster father and I shoot his ass
>turns out foster brother was a vampire
>barely escape but paladin kills him by burning down the mansion

>>27517521
>Because it is important for children to learn the authors that shaped the english language
>Because it is important for children to learn different points of view.
>Because reading it is better than hearing about it
>Because a well-read mind is a more adaptable mind.
>Because it is a part of our history, and a man who doesn't know his history is like a blind man fumbling his way through life.
>Because children come to school to learn, not be told about how they are the victims/demon seed of the evil, white patriarchy, while they twitter each other all day.

>first session
>polymorphed into an insect
>no saves
>rest of the game is dmpcs sitting around talking about how disgisting i am.
>then i die
>again. No saves

>>27517681

Fucking Kafka.

>>27517670
So would you do excerpts or have them read the entirety of it? Because it's pretty long.

Maybe swap it in for a Shakespeare play? I can agree that it could be of more use to the student then reading three or four plays by the same guy every year. What would be the better play to drop? Romeo and Juliet? Midsummer Nights Dream? Antony and Cleopatra? Merchant of Venice? Hamlet? Macbeth?

Also I never saw any evidence of your last point in school. Please stop making /pol/ jokes.

>>27517637
If you don't find a problem with children learning basic literature or being told that four times three equals eleven is correct, then we have no more discuss.

>>27517727
in-class excerpts. Outside of class, they would be expected to at least read two to three of the stories, for discussion in-class.

>>27517738
If you watched that video and came away with 'The teacher are telling students 4x3 is okay' and not 'teaching should focus more on the assessment of mastering the methodology used by the student to make sure they have the right process, and not punitively coming down on them for having a digit out of the place'. Then I'm not sure what video you just watched.

>>27517754
Yeah, that would be pretty good actually. In Ancient Civ we did the same for a several works, I can't imagine that Chaucer is any *less* important then Gilgamesh.

>>27517521
>>27517727
>>There's just been a big sentiment of 'holy shit, haven't read Chaucer, what's wrong with your school?' and I have yet to get a good answer on why reading Chaucer is important for high school students.

The reason most of the classics are taught is because they're part of our culture. Our language is filled with references to classical works that we don't think about or even realize most of the time. Reading the classics lets us understand them when others reference them. In addition, reading the classics perpetuates the shared culture and gives people more of a connectedness than they would have otherwise. Another important feature is that classics tend to expose us to a wider variety of language and large vocabularies are important.

Lastly, there are illiterate little fucks who wouldn't read *anything* and sit in front of the TV playing video games and watching reality shows. This forces a bare minimum of literacy upon them.

>>27517822
>Lastly, there are illiterate little fucks who wouldn't read *anything* and sit in front of the TV playing video games and watching reality shows. This forces a bare minimum of literacy upon them.
Why would you do that, if they're never gonna use it anyway.

>>27512764
I'm from Murica and read excerpts in high school.
>>27512545
Also, goddammit OP. You should have stayed and told the bawdiest backstory possible.

>>27517822
Well, that's a pretty good point.

>>27517822

Isn't it the same with Shakespeare? A truly staggering amount of turns of phrase from his works managed to enter local parlance.

>join Rogue Trader game online
>DM hands me my character sheet and backstory
>apparently I'm a peasant on a desert planet
>family gets killed, I meet wise old mentor DMPC
>finally interact with the other players, meet them in a tavern (for fuck's sake)
>captain is a generic "loveable rogue" character
>other one is, I shit you not, a homebrew xeno fursona that speaks in gargling noises

I quit right then and there. Railroading galore, and the only time there was combat, the DMPC did everything. What bullshit.

>>27517488

That actually sounds awesome if it was done right


But it wasn't done right, was it?

>>27518143
The other players in the campaign disagreed, apparently.>>27516744

>>27517668
And the DM approved that name?
What were you bribing him with?

>>27513041
>listen to his shitty stories all Night.
You should have cut off his head earlier, sucker.

Pretty good 1001 Nights Entertainments reference if you wrote that off the top of your head.

>ps: Literature degrees are worth shit, apply yourself better.

>>27518401
Oh thank god I thought no one would get it.

>Third Mate on container ships reading the tome in my free time.

>>27517668
I wonder how many will get this.

>>27517668
Sounds like quite the bizarre adventure.

>>27512687
...No. OP came up with a fictional event that he would share with us to see if we could recognize the similarities to the aforementioned Canterbury Tales. Similar to storytelling about his first session which was in actuality the first chapter of a Conan book dressed up as a tabletop game.

>>27518424
>Third Mate on container ships
Pretty good, just work your way up to Nostromo and you'll be set.

>>27518516
Just need to finish Nights first.

Shit is longwinded.

>>27518004
Shakespeare, greek mythology, and more all fall into the same boat. Even modern "classics" like the Crucible (*gag*vomit*) are the same.

>>27518574

Yeah, but given that Shakesphere had the same sort of place in society at the time as the Simpsons, it's damned impressive just how much influence it was able to have on the language.

>>27518674
>“Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?!”

Seriously, in 500 years time The Simpsons will be the Shakespeare of the English vox populi.

Worst. Analogy. Ever. I know.

>>27518674

I don't know that the Simpsons is patroned by the President.

>>27518773

It's not unpossible.

>>27519156
Have they gotten a grant?

>>27519156

No it's patroned by the head of Fox, a much more powerful individual.

>>27519156

They're on Fox, the people who try to buy Presidents. It's basically the same thing.

>>27519156
It is in 2052.

>Lisa: As you know, we've inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump. How bad is it, Secretary Van Houten?
Milhouse: [shows a chart] We're broke.
Lisa: The country is broke? How can that be?
Milhouse: Well, remember when the last administration decided to invest in our nation's children? Big mistake.
President Lisa's Aide: The balanced breakfast program just created a generation of ultra-strong super-criminals.
Milhouse: And midnight basketball taught them to function without sleep.

>Join game with new DM with longtime bro, both of us roll fighters
>Bro's fighter is kind of a weeaboo emo katana user with mommy issues but I can deal
>All other players either running late or can't make it first session, DM begins campaign anyway
>Me and bro are apparently Knights now
>Ordered to guard DMPC goddess who lives in a hidden fortress-city atop a giant tower
>Monsters attack us while guarding DMPC
>Monsters are also immune to all our attacks
>Party gets facerolled, bro's character nearly dies straight off the bat
>DMPC orders me to find Macguffin that can make monsters vulnerable
>Fight way out of tower interior, DMPC leads us to airship
>Bro suddenly has family emergency and has to leave
>DM has bro's emo samurai stick with DMPC while I'm sent out alone
>Alone
>As in, I get stuck trying to pilot the airship
>Manage not to fail my rolls, DM gets pissy and throws a dragon at me
>Airship gets shot down

(cont.)

>>27520683
>Crash in forest on continent below
>Continent is apparently floating next to the tower because of reasons
>Injured badly in crash, almost dead
>Finally other players show up at session
>Shy nerdy girl and fucking biker dude
>Nerdy girl plays setting unique sorceress with healing abilities, DM immediately plops her down close to me
>DM orders nerdy girl to literally sing all of her spell incantations
>In some setting unique conlang based on Japanese and motherfucking binary
>Takes her a half hour just to perform one spell
>She actually has a nice voice once she gets used to it
>Sorceress heals me up, but DM then immediately has her dragged back off-screen by paladins until next session
>Follow sorceress and paladins to nearby town, meet biker dude's character
>Biker dude is playing a half-dragon cowboy with a gatling gun arm
>DM never explains why this character concept was OKed

>Captcha suggests we shed the blood of Saxon men. I'm with it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvKRbi2ovDY

>>27516657
What system?

>>27520871
>Biker dude's cowboy needs to find some chick
>I still need to find macguffin for DMPC
>Run into goons of local guild hassling some NPC girl
>NPC girl, DMPC and nerdy chick's characters all turn out to be homebrew female-only race descended from DMPC, and the only race with magic (which requires singing, of course)
>Ready myself for incoming Magical Realm
>Me and cowboy leave town, set out for local capital city
>Immediately attacked by wolves
>Wolves suddenly immune to swords and bullets for no reason
>Escape, DM railroads us back to town
>Local shopkeep teaches my character an alchemical crafting skill
>Create healing potions
>Fuck around with random junk items
>Somehow create rocket launcher
>Wolves not immune to rockets
>Reach capital city in peace
>Capital city under attack by flying robot for no reason
>I thought this was a fantasy setting?

>>27521037
>Nerdy girl's sorceress arrives, three of us fight robot
>DM still makes nerdy girl sing all her spells
>She gets better at it over time
>Defeat robot, save city
>End session
>Next session begins with much celebration at local inn
>Bro still can't come to game night for awhile
>Try to get along with other players
>Ex-girlfriend suddenly shows up
>Turns out she's a regular player in this group
>Dammit
>She wants to introduce her character to mine as soon as possible
>DM oks it
>Dammit again
>Guild representative shows up during celebration, asks me to join guild
>Promises sex slaves if I help him
>Tell him to fuck off
>DM declares that I try to fight him and get knocked out
>No actual combat rolls
>Taken to guild's headquarters
>Ex breaks me out
>Ex's character is another homebrew race sorceress
>Flee guild headquarters
>Wind up in nuclear reactor somehow
>Attacked by tank
>DM says we're supposed to be joined by another player who hasn't showed up yet, plays their character for them
>Tomboy mechanic with a chainsaw
>What
>Ex has to sing her spells too
>We kill the tank, mechanic runs off
>Shenanigans ensue
>Railroaded into virtual reality session with ex's character
>Apparently homebrew race gets more powerful through VR 'interactions'
>Ex spends entire time flirting with my character
>Bullrush through it, leave
>Mechanic's player finally shows up
>Biker dude's girlfriend, apparently
>End session again
>Didn't get much done because ex spent half of it trying to flirt with me

>>27521307
lol continue, i find this highly amusing and a good tale.

>>27521307
Ah, yes, a classic. Good one.

>>27521307
>Next session, everyone but bro is here but party is still split
>New guy at table, apparently a local pastor
>Me, ex's sorceress and biker all journey through farmlands
>Meet pastor's character, a paladin
>Nerdy girl's sorceress also present
>Prepare to take airship back to capital city
>Guild representative shows up in own airship, kidnaps ex's character
>Good riddance
>Get to capital
>Mention I still need to find that fucking macguffin
>Paladin happens to know where it is
>Cowboy shows up again
>Finally-assembled party (minus bro's fighter and ex's sorceress) head off to get it
>Wind up in research lab swarming with robots
>Fight way through, retrieve macguffin
>FUCKING LAB STARTS TO FALL OFF THE CONTINENT
>Narrowly escape
>Return to airship
>Still fucked, but local townspeople repairing it
>Party sets out to reach DMPC by straight-up climbing the tower
>Guild representative shows up, orders ex's character to attack party
>Ex's sorceress throws guild representative off tower
>Woah
>Continue up side of tower
>Reach city of half-dragons biker dude's cowboy is from
>Shenanigans
>End up ransacking local temple
>Half-dragon city's head priestess teleports us further up the tower to get us out of her hair
>End session

>>27521476
well that escalated...

>>27512994
I had to read the Epic of Gilgamesh in my final year of high school, and I was surprised to discover this, as I knew that the Epic of Gilgamesh began with a wild man boning a sacred prostitute near a river.

>>27521518
and that is something i didn't know! thank you kind stranger!

>>27521476
>New session
>Bro still not here
>Party finally reaches DMPC's fortress-city
>DMPC too busy trying to fight the invincible monsters to accept the Macguffin that will make the monsters no longer invincible
>DM railroads me into VR pseudo-cybering nerdy girl and ex's characters again
>Get tired of bullshit, give Macguffin to nerdy girl's character
>Nerdy girl gets new spell
>DM makes her sing it
>HOLY SHIT THAT SONG
>Song makes monsters vulnerable
>Kill them
>Nerdy girl's character suddenly gets 'corrupted'
>Monsters are apparently computer viruses and homebrew race are apparently robots
>What
>DMPC helps party fight and kill monsters in VR simulation of nerdy girl's soul
>What
>Tower saved, monsters slain
>"Please tell me this is the end of this campaign"
>"Nope"
>"At least tell me this is the end of the hamfisted VR cybersex"
>"Nope"
>Leave and never come back
>Nerdy girl and pastor follow suit
>Hear from bro later that his character was turned into the BBEG's son and ex took over both the campaign and my character
>DM trolled her by having my character wind up with the DMPC anyway
>BBEG also turned out to be the ghost girl from The Ring
>Glad I got out of that campaign early

>>27517574
>>It must be those filthy christians who banned the books because of it's lewd parts.
>>No, it's because it's a casualty in the government's campaign to keep the masses ignorant.
Both of these ideas are ludicrous. Not knowing Chaucer doesn't make you ignorant or otherwise unable to function intelligently in society.

>>27521664

Oh, and that guild representative dude showed up again anyway. Yes, after being thrown off a giant tower. Apparently fall damage didn't exist in that campaign unless you happened to be in an airship at the time.

>>27521699
damn... still a pretty odd experience.

>>27512545
This whole thread
It's like I don't even need /lit/ anymore

I don't blame you OP, that sounds terrible. 30 players doing nothing but walking just to do a half-assed rendition of the Canterbury Tales would make me want to kill myself.

>>27521664
Look up the game Ar Tonelico, if you might.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc8XPv_qstA

>>27522171
This sounds hilarious and I would be up for it.

How many of the stories in this thread were actually real?

I went to the UK, to Canterbury, and went to the fucking museum about it with school, and I didn't recognize shit.

Feels bad.