Penises

>>27538057
Leper limbs.

Love

>>27538057
Scandalous rumors,katar, Tinbe-rochin, eku, tonfa...
Also, way to represent the Ustaše OP.

Kizaru's snot.

>>27538057
Human breast milk.

>Kudos if you know what .gif I am talking about.

>>27538108

Oh man, im still giggling from the tought of aplying this in battle.

>>27538109

That's too powerful.

>>27538168
I'm not sure if I want any kudos for that

>>27538223
With it you don't need any money

It's always fun to beat something to death with an atom bomb.

>>27538168

>tfw I do know

Damn ninjas, but then again I remember seeing a live action movie when a fem-ninja shot lightning out of her titties.

Do the serbs still hate the croats for pic related?

Billiard ball in a sock.

>>27538348
Not only for that specifically but yes they still hate each other

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To have a favorite weapon, conventional or not, is to favor one at the expense of the other; this limits the warrior and jeopardizes victory. Nonetheless, that said, here are some favorites:

>A stick, or better yet, a reed (like a cat-tail) in the hands of a master pwning dozens of armored swordsmen.

>A folding metal chair, because you can get all WWF / Jacky Chan with it, and it's one of the few weapons which you can comfortably sit on.

>Solidly rooted objects in the environment with which to beat your opponents against, such as trees and street signs.

>A belt, because Pootie-Tang!

>An icicle, the perfect murder weapon (especially if made out of frozen poison) -- I saw it in a ninja movie I used to own.

>A motor vehicle, because vehicular homicide is best homicide.

>FIRE, because of burning.

>WATER, because of drowning (also, see icicle above).

>Carefully folded or rolled up newspaper, which is one of the numerous improvised weapons field operatives are trained to utilize. Seriously, you can make lethal "paper brass knuckles" out of a newspaper, not to mention a potentially lethal baton if you roll it up tightly enough, AND you can fling a cloud of vision-obstructing sheets at your target's face to cover your assault.

>A sharpened number two pencil: make a fist, hold the pencil between middle- and ring-fingers in line with the radial bones of your hand with the eraser placed at the base of your palm, and you can punch upper-cuts under the enemy's jaw to drive the pencil up through the fleshy bottom of the jaw, the tongue, the palate and directly into the brain, causing instant death -- this is why you must beware of strangers at your door with clipboards and writing instruments, because gov't operatives have totally used this method of assassination more than once.

>Hypodermic needle containing a plausible water-based solution of cocaine & heroin (speedball) and an air bubble larger than 10 cubic centimeters to cause a fatal embolism; looks accidental.

>>27538057
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSONZfgbOMY

The Tonfa

>>27538648

Frozen poison.... damn anon, why did i never think of that.

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There is only one true answer.

Bladed folding fan, I would love some stats for that weapon...

>croats
>civilised

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>>27538648
I like the way you think.

>>27538648

>Carefully folded or rolled up newspaper
No one likes us, we don't care!
We paid for your hats, what a waste of council tax!
We're the best behaved supporters in the land.

and other popular songs that Millwall sang as they beat other clubs over the head with a millwall brick.

>>27538310
...Go on

>>27538742
It seems the tonfa is hard to use in a way that doesn't look choreographed as fuck. Don't know if it's because you can't find an actor who's actually skilled with it or because reality is unrealistic.

Chakrams and katars are rad

>>27538648
>A folding metal chair, because you can get all WWF / Jacky Chan with it, and it's one of the few weapons which you can comfortably sit on.

That, and the Papasha.

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>>27538771
Vintage Raygun.

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>>27538771
Here have a gif

>>27538057
pipes

I've always wanted to beat the shit out of someone with one of those 10-pound tubes of ground beef.

My fist with death tattoed on it.

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>>27538648

Your paranoia and planning has made me slightly aroused. Just want you to know that.

>>27540457
Fuck that shit, go for the summer sausages.

>>27538648
Frozen blood is better. Not only is there no murder weapon, but the weapon itself goes into their body and is hard to find. Infect it with AIDS or a poison and you have a winner.

>>27538108
brilliant weapon, inflicting leperacy when you hit people in the eyes and mouth

>>27538057
Barstool. I once had a rogue that laid enough of a smackdown on some drunken sailors that the bartender had the stool mounted and bronzed.

>>27538057
Is it just me, or are croquet sets really just disguised vampire slaying kits?

>>27540817
>injecting AIDS or poison

Why make shit complicated? A sufficient amount of air in the bloodstream is already more than lethal.

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Any sort of tether or chain based weapon, like the kusarigama, gets me rock hard.

>>27538057
Fire extinguishers. Blind someone, stop them from setting something on fire, bash 'em in the head, or spray down their throat and cause them to dry drown.

>>27541351
Practical and safe!

>>27538648
>A folding metal chair, because you can get all WWF / Jacky Chan with it, and it's one of the few weapons which you can comfortably sit on.
And you can start a riot, like any time. You don't even need to hit anyone.

>>27541351
For kids!

>>27541351
For Kids.

>>27541351
Use in your home or while travelling abroad!

>>27543538
Only around niggas

I had one redneck ork in shadowrun who liked improvising weapons.

"Cletus Masterson's Finest Shitkicking"

>Cletus' job is to kill a corporate exec in a sleazy bar
>Walks up to him, says he dressed like he likes barbed wire up his ass
>Guy pushes him, he's actually pretty decently statted
>Cletus hits him with a water balloon from his utility belt
>Corporate guy is at first stunned, then starts laughing
>That's when Cletus hit him with an entire 5lb paper bag of powdered lye

"Cletus Masterson is the Bad Cop"
>Captured a high-level hitman who has been tailing the group
>Tie him up in the basement
>Try to ascertain who sent him
>"Ah gawt thiyus fellers..."
>Cletus shoves mentos up his nose
>Hitman is laughing at us now
>Cletus asks the party if they're thirsty
>"....no..."
>"good, Ah's gon need these"
>Removes several bottles of diet coke from the fridge
>Party realizes what's about to happen
>Cletus jams an opened diet coke up the guy's nose
>Fizzy shit blasts up this guys nostrils and out his mouth
>Choking, spitting, coughing up coke and phlegm
>"Yeou gunna tawlk naow, scooter?"
>Guy does nothing but gasp
>Cletus shoves a second bottle in his other nostril
>Guy is screaming through all this
>Cletus pulls out an entire package of mentos, tells the party to cut the bottom out of the chair and bend him over
>"I'LL TALK I'LL TALK CHRIST I'LL TALK!"

My character picked up a 'greasy deck of cards' in a dungeon.
So I grabbed a deck we had lying around, shuffling it.
Get ambushed by enemies while trying to protect a mirror (my dude is very superstitious about luck)
The fuckers are coming out of a secret door behind the mirror.
DM says "WELCOME TO THE FRONT OF THE PARTY!"
I was sitting next to the DM
Ask DM how close they are
"About a foot awa-"
"52 PICK UP, BITCH."
I proceeded to throw the entire deck into the DM's face.
It worked, too.
With an addition Fear spell from my buddy, those dudes were scared shitless by the crazy card guy and ran back to where they came.

The look on my DM's face was priceless.

>>27543855
Does it count as an improvised weapon if you planned it out enough to put it on your utility belt? I think at that point the water balloon and lye are just... a weapon.

>>27544040
Meh, unconventional, improvised, it's late.

>>27543855

"Do NOT Fuck With Cletus' Truck"
>Cletus is the getaway driver for the team one run
>Beat up the occasional mook who snoops around the back entrance, etc
>Getaway vehicle is Cletus' Dodge 2500
>Other guys trip the alarm on their way out of the building, tailled by guards and such
>They jump in and Cletus guns it
>Car gets rammed by the guard's car, fast red one with the top down
>They're shooting at us
>"AWW HELL NAW!"
>Tells the rigger to hand him some of the pvc pipe down under the passenger's seat
>Jams the cigarette lighter into it, and tosses it out the window
>Lands inside their car
>Burning pvc and vynil creates dioxin
>Thick smoke coming out of their car
>Slam on the breaks while right in front of them
>Dudes smashed against the front of the car, stunned, and being poisoned by the dioxin gas
>Haul ass into the night

>>27543855
>mentos
>diet coke
>2072
i shiggy diggy

Katanas are so much better than shitty western weapons.

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>>27544116

Crushed glass. Very easy to get your hands on

Throw it at your opponents face or put it in his food, either way he'll have a bad day.

A bag of marbles.

We have those where I'm from, they're for cutting barley, bro, they're not weapons.

>>27544400
Yeah, tell that to the Croats.

>>27544400
OP said improvised weapon

>>27544076
Except PVC isn't going to burn at all from a few seconds next to a cigarette lighter, burning PVC doesn't release that much dixoin, and dioxin itself generally takes years to decades of exposure before any effect is noticeable.
I admire your creativity, but it's fantastically wrong. PVC wouldn't still be around if it turned into a cloud of death anytime someone dropped a match on it

>>27544555
Nice trips, autist.

>>27538648
I once watched /tg/ devolve into an autistic shitstorm over the helmet in this picture.

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>>27544486
He said unconventional, you illiterate slav.

>>27544634
Ha, I remember that.

>>27544900
>>27544634
what were the complaints?

>>27544906


That it wasn't an actual military helmet and that the guy in the pic was a larper or airsofter wearing a welding mask. Or something like that.

>>27544928
Didn't someone try to say it was actually bomb squad or something?

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>>27545040


I really can't remember too many of the details, just general butthurt neckbeardism being rampant and comical.

Though I believe this pic got posted as "proof" of the helmet's authenticity.

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Do extremely retarded guns count as unconventional?

>>27540995
He said infect not inject.

But yeah, embolisms are fucking lethal. No need to waste drugs, poison, or bioweapons when air would do, I guess.

Ex-junkie here. My home state gives out naloxone [Narcan] like it's candy and I knew so many people who ignored the risk of overdose (granted our town has shit dope,) but I never met anybody dumb enough to shoot a large bubble.

>>27538109
Fuck off, Dumbledore.

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>>27545294
Relevant

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>>27545537
Because fuck sanity

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How unconventional we talking?
This was mine.

>>27538057
Are you that Mongolian guy I ran into on Omegle?

>>27545711
That's beautiful.

>>27545711
How does he load it, though? Even if the antimagic field is only something like 3" in diameter, it would still have to be at least that far away from the projectile while it was being loaded - and wouldn't the projection of the field down the barrel cause problems with expansion? The projectile would start to grow (if there's even any delay involved at all) in the barrel and if you had a misfire then your barrel would explode into shards of iron and/or the forward section (including the ring) would be blown off with considerable force.

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Uncoventional you say?

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Just when you thought Chinese martial arts weapons can get any weirder.

>>27545778
Loaded from the back, the ring would be placed at the mouth of the barrel.

the exit velocity would be fast enough to launch the rifleshot out of the barrel, and through the ring without breaking the rifle.

>>27545778
I don;t think you understand just how long a rifle is. At the speed the projectile is going it would it would only be in the anti-magic field for a matter of nanoseconds before it's out of it. Flaring the barrel out would easily solve any issues relating to the growth.

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>>27545537
i'll see your double and raise you a triple

>>27545711
I've read this story more than once and I'm still grinning like a retard

>>27545818
>Loaded from the back
Oh, so it's a breechloader and not a muzzleloader.

>>27545827
>At the speed the projectile is going it would it would only be in the anti-magic field for a matter of nanoseconds before it's out of it.
And would that be relevant at all if the expansion was literally instantaneous?

And flaring the barrel comes with its own set of problems - if the expansion is quick enough to warrant flaring even at the speeds typically achieved with breech-loading flintlocks, then the problem of the field extending down the barrel still causes problems because fitting the ring anywhere along the barrel bottlenecks it.

I mean, I would totally let it work just because of how awesome it is (unless I were in a really, really bad mood or something) but my engineering blood always gets a-boiling with things like these.

>>27545294
My S.T.A.L.K.E.R just fainted

>>27545883
Just assume the ring is wider than both the rifle barrel and the ammo to compensate for the expansion.

>>27545883
You have the ring on a little rod, similar to a flamethrower igniter. PROBLEM SOLVED.

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>>27545848
Outdakka that. I fucking dare you.

>>27545900
That still doesn't really work with an instantaneous expansion unless the ring is wider than a cannonball.

>>27545912
If the ammo would pass through the ring then that would be a problem, but if you suspended it out at least as far as the dimension of the field and out of the projectile's trajectory then that could work even with instantaneous expansion, I guess.

>>27545949
Problems also arise in that if the cannonball does not expand instantaneously, the round, no doubt moving in the range of 2000 fps, will likely have struck and overpenetrated its target long before the round actually has time to expand.

Like, what, does it take a second to reach full size? If so, it's only going to increase in calibur by about .05 if you shoot someone within ten yards of yourself with it. The fact that enlarging a creature next to another creature merely shunts them and doesn't splatter them against the walls suggests that this is not a rapid, instantaneous process, but a slow one probably taking a second or two.

What conceivable utility could such a weapon have?

>>27545933
the us military has a plane with a side-mounted howitzer which is arguably as close as you can get to enough dakka

>>27546011
Ahh, Aunt Spooky.

>>27546005
>>27545949
can we disregard science in a fantasy setting and adopt rule of cool instead?

>>27545883
The way I read it (and it's probably a misunderstanding on my part) is that since the ring is said to "project" an antimagic field, that the antimagic field is actually outside of the rifle by a few centimeters. I imagine it like the ring being the source, but passing through the ring does nothing until you are in the volume that the antimagic takes place.

My problem with the thing is that I have trouble believing that the sudden change in size would do absolutely nothing to the speed that firing gave it. It's hard to think that a tiny ball suddenly gaining a couple dozen pounds and increasing size by 500% is going to keep going at the same speed.

>>27546027
Rule of cool trumps many things, including science in this case.

However, it's still fun to science shit out and figure out how nonsensical, fantastical things work (or shouldn't),

>>27546011
But did they mount fucking planes on it?

>>27546005
You could use it as handheld artillery and sink faraway ships.

>>27545711
Does the magical shrinking affect mass?

If not, I see a exploding musket.

If it does, I see a cannonball falling to the ground and then gently rolling forward a few yards.

>>27545949
I believe that the ring projects a field in front of it, because it would be usless if it projected the field right where it is, because, you know, you pick locks that are in front of your hands, not ones that are across your hands.

>>27546081
magic, it works

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>>27538648

Damn straight.

>>27545802

You can't fool me, that's from Star Trek.

>>27545711
The problem is, the second the cannon ball is back to it's normal size and weight, it would still only have the momentum of a flintlock bullet and would stop dead in it's tracks. This situation was debunked to death with the whole 'What if my gnome druid is thrown towards an enemy by our barbarian and turns into a huge bear in mid-air?'-situation. 'Tis bullshit.

>>27546084
That seems kind of silly to me; what if you twisted your hand or something in the process of opening the lock and suddenly the magic re-activates and fries you? A static field makes much more sense.

>>27546027
Magical engineering is one of the best things about D&D.

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>>27546179
> from Star Trek
http://en.memory-alpha.org/wiki/Bat%27leth

>>27546081
>Does the magical shrinking affect mass?
Since magic in D&D makes Newton cry in the corner, I'd have to say that the mass of the projectile probably vanishes into hammerspace until the magic is dispelled.

>>27546218
>What if my gnome druid is thrown towards an enemy by our barbarian and turns into a huge bear in mid-air?

Not cool enough.
The gnome has to turn into something even bigger and spikier or on fire.
The rule of cool disregards physics the more over-the-top you try to do something.

There is nothing more demoralizing than being beaten with a large dildo.

aside from that? baseball bats are cool, and chairs. a purse filled with bricks?

>>27539757

well, these are action movies choreographed for visual appeal. Remember that police forces across the world have adopted it, it has a practical application.

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>>27538648
>Solidly rooted objects in the environment with which to beat your opponents against, such as trees and street signs.
>Favored weapon: Face
>"A-anon...."
>"I grab(roll for grapple) the henchman but the back of this head and smash it into the steel table, attempting to break it."

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>>27541351
Shit, what's that from?

>>27540402
I've got to start carrying this stuff around.

The standard old Longsword has always been a fan favourite for me.

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chainsaws will never be practical, but they'll also never not be cool.

>>27546259
'What if my fairy druid is covered in a metal shell, shot out of a magical cannon and transforms into a 1000 lb. porcupine in mid-air? What if he dual-classed as an elementalist and douses himself in gasoline before launch, only to become a 10 ft flaming ball of spikes travelling at 800 mp/h?'

Self-Aware Psychoactive Airborne Drugs.
Weapons utilizing Strange Matter or other odd states of matter (Superfluids, for example)

>>27546320
Then your DM better make sure whatever got hit by that assault dies from sheer badassery or else he'll be the worst no-fun DM in existence.

>>27545933
BRRRRRRRRRT
That thing makes the most satisfying noise

Grappling hook.

Can't go wrong with a grappling hook, enemies too close, spin that bitch around, people will move. Enemies too far, swoop them in. It gets even easier if it is a grapple gun.

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>>27545294
My inner Stalker just drank so much vodka

>>27538057
One of my characters had an enchanted coffin they used to bash people, it increased in power as they stored the bodies of more and more slain enemies. It was based on a story I read once on the Dwarf Fortress forums

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>>27545848
AK130, double barrelled 130mm naval gun that shits out 60-70 rounds per minute.

>>27546486
>70 rounds per minute
You seem to be missing the point of dakka

>>27544928
Welding masks are borderline opaque. They're impossible to see out of unless you're staring at a goddamned arc. I don't know shit about military helmets, but I know welding masks, and that isn't one.

Dammit, anon.

>>27546005
if the expansion is slower and you shoot someone with the musketball sized cannon ball then when that ball expands inside them they will have a very bad day.

>>27544928
>>27546643
It's a helmet used when troops might encounter an IED like the ones that kebabs are so fond of making, or for when their faces might get something else undesirable in or on them.

Would it be heavy and uncomfortable? Yes. Would it be the helmet to have during IED disposal? No. Would it be better than nothing? Yes.

Pic is still bullshit, though.

>>27546297
>Shit, what's that from?
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=knife+wrench

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>>27545933
> Avenger
> only 4200rpm, maximum
Step aside, american pleb.
GSh-6-30 is here.

> 5500kg recoil
> gas operated mechanism spins up faster than sluggish bloated american electric
> 4000rpm minimum, up to 6000rpm
> the heat of long bursts risked cooking off the magazine
> is the cannon mounted to glorious Flogger tricycle

Airframe vibration led to:
> fatigue cracks in fuel tanks
> radio and avionics failures
> landing lights would often be destroyed
> tearing or jamming of the forward landing gear doors, leading to at least three crash landings
> cracking of the reflector gunsight
> an accidental jettisoning of the cockpit canopy
> at least one case of the instrument panel falling off in flight

> "...the sheer numbers of fragments from detonating shells was sufficient to damage aircraft flying within a 200 meter radius from the impact epicenter, including the aircraft firing."

Filthy casual american gun.

>>27546714
That's beautiful, and worthy of mounting a plane on.

>>27546714
>Orks get their hands on this tech and improve upon it
How fucked is the rest of the galaxy?

>>27546528
Yeah, he should have gone for the Kashtan CIWS instead.

>>27546817
Not very, Vulcan megabolters and assault cannons are basically already on that tier.

>>27546823
>Kashtan CIWS
We're there already.
It's two of >>27546714 with some missiles bolted on for extra fireworks.

If this is no longer about improvised weapons, how about those giant naval batteries that basically fired high explosive packed volkswagons.

>>27547311
Please tell us it's name.
Also... www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWHMIz-wTa4

>>27546695
It's not for IEDs, it's for bullets and "lighter" sharpnel.
That may be the lighter "SPHERE LYNX" (for riot control) or the K6-3 (which is the heavy, bulletproof titanium version), but it can be hard to identify bloody near identical looking russian equipment with different levels of protection.

It's not commonly issued to all ground troops or police units, but it is a standardized piece of equipment for certain Russian military units and military police units (like OMON).

As for the butterfly picture? Who fuckin' cares, we're not /k/.

Tribbles

Or a platoon of two year olds

>>27538648
you do realize how much air that is right? its really not that easy to cause an embolism, nor is it an efficient way to kill

>>27546237
>that is the joke.jpg

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Metal Storm is gonna rape some shit.

>>27538648
>belts
>wrap that shit around someones neck
>pull his ass over
>beat the shit out of him while he is choking..

>>27549687
ONE MIRRION BURRETS per. MINUTE!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8hlj4EbdsE

>>27549715
That might be almost enough dakka.

>>27546292
>. Remember that police forces across the world have adopted it, it has a practical application

I have heard many police officers complain that the Tonfa is in fact a ineffective weapon and they prefer using a normal baton.

>>27549771
Well yeah, if all you see are nails, you're gonna want a hammer.

>>27549752
>pretty much wall after wall of bullets fired so fast that it doesnt have a magazine, just has all bullets in the barrels at all times
I think it just might be enough dakka

>>27549687
>>27549715
This thing is apparently designed for mine clearance

>>27549992
Among other things. Apparently you can load one version of it with small grenades and basically use it like artillery or for blasting through walls and shit.

How about a helicopter strapped to numerous extremely powerful Tesla coils? Fly low and electrocute everything.

Personally I think gorilla bombs would be pretty awesome. Incendiary gorilla bombs. The gorillas have an incendiary device strapped to them which detonates within 3 minutes. So you have 3 minutes of gorilla rampage, then they blow up spewing napalm all over the place.

>>27550075
The Soviets tried shit like that with bomb dogs, though. Strap explosives to dogs, send them to find enemy tanks and watch the fireworks. It... didn't work very well.

>>27545537
>"BOSS LOOK WAT I GOT OFF WUNNA DEM HUMIEZ!"

>"IZ....(single orky tear) BOOTIFUL!"

>>27550075
Thermobaric Gorilla Bombs.
Because nothing says "FUCK YOU" like 400lbs of pissed off gorilla primed to go off in a massive high-heat explosion with corresponding lethal blastwave.

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>>27538057
How about an old fashioned spike on the knee, for next level dick shots galore.

>>27550075
What if you put the gorilla in a flame-retardant suit beforehand?
So then you get ~3 mins of gorilla rampage, followed by a fiery explosion, followed by further minutes of gorilla rampage with the added benefit of the gorilla being even more agitated and also on fire.

>>27550114
>didn't work very well
Only because they trained the dogs on Soviet tanks.
So when they let them loose in the battlefield, guess whose tanks they went for?

>>27538800
You sir, are my nigga! It would really round off a courtesan character I had in mind.

>>27550140
>>27550198

Might as well give the Gorillas a hefty dose of crack before dropoff. Flaming crack gorillas.

>>27550834
Meth and trace amounts of PCP.
It's completely insane and pissed off.

Hell, why stop there, let's strap some blades to it's hands and give it a gun and call it an Eversor.

>>27550834

As a matter of fact, one of my players invented something called the Bearrow.

>take Bag of Holding
>lure bears into Bag of Holding
>tie Bag of Holding to arrow
>fire arrow over castle wall for curious guards to open
>???
>PROFIT

>>27554017
Do you have any concept of the weight of a bag of holding or the size of the opening?

>>27554099

I let them for the sheer hilarity of the idea.

>>27551241

Can we get someone to give flaming crack gorilla blade air drop commandos an illustration?

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61 KB JPG

>>27549715
at 30.000 and 60.000 round/min it sounds like one of those quick loud bursts of farts

We have had in game weaponised penguins by chemically altering their brains. Totally worth the 2 PC's that died as they're now a reoccurring random encounter when things get slow.