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>>27756548
>Drops axe
What is it about this man? This unremarkable man with his frizzy hair and his paintings! I can't feel mad at anything, and what is this sweet sensation in me?

>>27756548

That's not Mr. Rogers.

>>27756579
I have to agree. Anti-Khorne is Mr. Rogers, this guy is Anti-Slaanesh.

Anti-Tzeench is Gonzo the Great.

>>27756548
Khorne makes no mistakes, just happy accidents.

>>27756602
Let's put some happy little blood-stained skulls right next to those skeletons.

>>27756594

Anti-Nurgle is...The Mr. Clean Guy?

>>27756568
And when you're paying attention, he'll jam one of his painting knife to your kidney making some happy trees in there.

Wasn't Bob Ross actually in the military?

>>27756623
From what I understood, yes he was.

Apparently took part in combat to and proceeded to reject violence and warfare and went about showing people how to paint.

Bob Ross is the anti-chaos god

Khorne brings rage, Bob brings serenity

Slaanesh brings blind lust, Bob teaches you to make and appreciate something beautiful

Tzeench's schemes always go according to some plan, Bob makes no mistakes, just happy little accidents

Nurgle brings suffering and grossness, Bob brings joy and beauty

Bob Ross for Emperor

http://youtu.be/YLO7tCdBVrA

> A thousand marines in power armor are marching.
> They don't look like normal marines.
> Instead of solid, vibrant colors, their armors are adorned with detailed paintings of beautiful landscapes.
> They all carry canvases on their back, along with a selection of brushes.
> On their march, they finally make contact with their dreaded enemies, the Chaos forces.
> They immediately stop and place their canvases on the ground, in unison.
> "Hello, we are the painting marines, and we'd like to extend you a personal invitation to drag out your oil pants and paint along with us each battle, now let's get started."
> The Chaos forces are unable to move.
> Somehow, the soothing activity the marines promote had made them unable to advance.
> They can't help, but watch the marines paint beautiful artwork.
> In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only happy little trees.

>>27756656
No, he was a discipline officer. His job was to yell and, in his own words "be mean" to soldiers. When he quit, he decided he didn't want to yell anymore.

>>27756579
>>27756594
Mr. Rogers is probably the anti-Emprah. He's anti-hate.

Bob Ross is about never getting worked up in general.

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The Order Gods of Harmony:

Bob Ross: The Anti-Hate. Brings peace and harmony to the soul. The peaceful creation of grand worlds and possibilities.

Julia Childs: The Passion. True love and joy in creation. Love in cooking; cooking in love.

Bill Nye: The Bringer of Hope. Knowledge is not a secret and should be shared, and that knowledge enriches us all.

Mr Rogers: The Guide of Growth. He guides us on the path to personal and spiritual growth with kindness and compassion without cruelty, encouraging us never to stagnate and fall into decay.

>>27756910

And Quotes:

Bob Ross: "I don't intimidate anyone."

Julia Child: "I think careful cooking is love, don't you? The loveliest thing you can cook for someone who's close to you is about as nice a valentine as you can give."

Bill Nye: "There's nothing I believe in more strongly than getting young people interested in science and engineering, for a better tomorrow, for all humankind."

Mr. Rogers: "Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people."

>>27756910
Combined they make The Emperor As He Should Have Been.

We really should make chapters for these new gods. It would be a wonderful idea. Their influence could be the one salvation of a galaxy at endless war. Though we need names for their groups.

>>27756594
"Push it. Tap it. Gently stroke it. Pay attention to what you are doing, make love to the canvas."

Is he really the anti-slaanesh? His IS a much more pure and uncorrupted love.

So I'm declaring the army for Mr.Rodgers the neighborhood watch. The first completely unarmed and unarmored space marines.

Wearing just a suit and a sweater, they advance on their foes singing songs of love and acceptance, they do not judge, they no not raise their voices above a calm and sympathetic song. But as they advance, their most powerful weapon is evident, their foes drop their arms to the ground, take helmets off of heads to allow them to join in song with the Watch, as they do, be they chaos, xeno or rebel, they find in themselves a new feeling, one of peace. Battlefields they fight upon are known to be littered with weapons and armor, but never bodies, for those who join in their song of love return to their own neighborhoods changed eternally for the better.

>>27756977
Except that Slaanesh is about sensations, not just mindless sex like what half of /tg/ want it. Those "kind" sensations just as well satiate her... AS LONG AS THEY ARE DONE IN EXCESS!!

>>27757169
That's why Julia Child is the best anti-slaanesh. She's about passion and creation and love - to give to others.

Slaanesh revels in excess, in passion and drive. But that excess and drive is always selfish. Personal pleasure. Personal love.

Selflessly giving things of passion away; true love. That's the antithesis of Slaanesh.

>>27757181
Slaanesh followers are also encouraged to share some least enjoyable sensations with others. As long as things that create sensations, either good or bad, are done, Slaanesh is content.

Again thinking "true love" is the anti-thesis of Slaanesh is kinda naive. What Slaanesh truly detest is the lack of sensation, cutting yourself from the world or rising above it. Only a machine can do that, and a ridiculously powerful one at that.

Like each of the Chaos God, Slaanesh is a fundamental aspect of Life that expresses itself in the best or worst actions, that selfless love will create sensations, that selfless giving will also create sensations, you can't escape it.

>>27756977
The only thing that can defeat Chaos is Malal anyway. Chaos' inner and fundemental instability tearing it apart.

Other than that, nope.

The Neighborhood Watch advanced upon the point, smiles on their lips and a song in their heart, the forces of chaos were falling back, some defected to join the Watch in their march, finding once more something worth fighting for. Others ran in horror, riddled with guilt over what they've done and unable to face themselves any longer. One chaos marine attempted to take his own life, but his hand was stopped by one of the Watch, who talked to him kindly, and soothed his soul, showing him the road to peace was not to take the easy way out, but to work to do more good in life than bad. The Neighborhood Watch kept advancing in song, cultists, marines and even lesser daemons either joining them or unable to continue fighting due to their sudden realizations about what really mattered in life, not war, not glory, but each other. The dark haze and clouds of battle gave way to happy little clouds, a beautiful blue sky, and a warm sun. It was said that day that as they marched, the battlefield itself came alive with grass and flowers, except one part, the crater where the bloodthirster was waiting for them. Their leader walked ahead of them to the crater, went down by himself, stumbled slightly and dusted his sweater off once he reached the bottom. The bloodthirster asked if he had any last words before he slaughtered him and his weak followers, Captain Fred calmly said only one sentence, but it was all he needed “You're not acting like the person Mr.Rodgers knew you could be.” At that moment the bloodthirster let loose an unimaginable cry of shame and despair, dropping his ax as he fell to his knees sobbing. Captain Fred walked over to him, gently placing his hand on his shoulder as the daemon wept, forgiving his past mistakes, and asked to be his neighbor.

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>>27756548
I don't know if you can say that Bob Ross is the anti-Khorne. I know that when I look at the guy it makes me want to begin a murder spree with a chain-axe.

>>27757307
You're not acting like the person Mr.Rodgers knew you could be

>>27757231

So an average microwave is more anti-Slaanesh than Julia Child?

>Bob Ross
>Our Lord of Map Painting and Blurpleness
>Not a devout follower of Khorne himself

u wot, m8?

>>27757287
PERFECT.

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>>27756775
> In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only happy little trees.

>>27756548
No one noticing the HUGE fucking brush he's "using"?

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>>27756910
>>27756936
And now it has been recorded.

>>27757536
so? that right there is his fine detail brush.

If you are ever upset /tg/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLO7tCdBVrA

>>27756813
It's true.

>>27756775
I must break out the green stuff...

>>27756669
>>27757600
video posted twice in the same thread

I think I prefer this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSgHCAsFy0g

>>27757157
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4nI7AgUKwk
Obviously their song.

>>27757287
Screen cap pls?

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>>27758020

so lets see other chapter names

World Painters

Julia's Children

Thousand Minds

and the Neighborhood Watch

so now we have a name for each army

Remind me, how does archiving work on sup/tg/?

>>27758151
I'll do it for you neighbor

>>27758099
Thank you

>>27756936
I think the best part about this is that I know for a fact that the Bill Nye and mr. Roger's quotes are real.

>>27756775
>In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only happy little trees
Oh holy shit, my sides

asking as the neighborhood watch writefag, anyone want more?

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>>27758301
Yes please!

>>27756910
Why aren't you like Fred Rogers, /tg/?

>>27758378
thin your paints, neighbor

>>27756548
brb gonna go out and pick up some oil paints

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Just sayin'.

>>27758652
You might have missed LOS MAGOS DEL TIEMPO, but honestly that thread is a god-tier OP and several posts reacting to it.

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>>27756548
This guy is my chapter founder. Pine tree logo goes on all the shoulder pads.

Somewhat on topic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cL82QdSong

(1/?)
>writefag back, posting as I get parts done. Now I'm giving Julia's children some love
The Tyranids came forth from the sky by the millions, their pods making landfall before the defenders could even raise the alarm. The land outside of the cities was lost within an hour. A desperate plea was sent out to space, pointlessly pinging the void for some impossible savior to arrive. Fate was on their side that day, on the far side of the system, the battle barges “The French Chief” and “Julia's Kitchen” were meeting to exchange new recipes with each other. As they received the signal, they brought their engines to high heat and began preparing to cater. Deep in the ships' kitchen stadiums, the Iron Chiefs of each ship began opening up the sacred recipes recommended for this type of foe. The drop pantries were loaded with exotic spices and seasonings as as Chief Marines made sure all warriors washed their hands before going into battle. Devastators were equipped with heavy appliances and had the sacred recipes copies onto their freshness seals. By the time they arrived at the planet, 600 marines were ready to land an all you can eat buffet of warfare.

>>27757231
>Slaanesh followers are also encouraged to share some least enjoyable sensations with others. As long as things that create sensations, either good or bad, are done, Slaanesh is content.

Not really. Say if you fuck someone - yeah, they're feeling it too, but you're fucking her not to make her feel good, but because you wanted to dip your wick. This sort of "sharing" is still ultimately selfish.

>>27758781
Yessssss

>>27757287


And then Inquisition arrived and nuked the world from orbit, because
>muh grimdark

(2/?)
The defenders didn't expect help, but even less they expected to see space marines arrive with white uniforms on over their armor, lead by captains wearing muffin like hats on their heads in place of helmets. The marines landed around the largest city, rapidly deploying as a defensive line to reenforce their besieged allies. Waiter servitors opened tables and placed tablecloths before folding napkins readying for the feast. Devastators readied their appliances, as marines did last checks on their utensils of war. The Iron Chiefs made contact with the garrison general, who did not know what to make of a dreadnaught with a massive whisk for one arm and an automatic pepper mill for the other. As they planned the defense, the first wave arrived, first gargoyles in the sky and mile behind them an endless wave of gaunts. The marines readied their first recipe as the chef marines mixed the secret sauce inside the predator marinateors. As the gargoyles closed into range, chili glaze spewed forth at them, their eyes burning as the glaze cooked them in mid air, burning to their very core and their remains making landfall at proper serving temperature, to be collected by the servitors. As the gaunts closed in three waves of storm raven flew overhead. Once over the enemy, the first wave unleashed beat eggs upon their foes, the second followed through with seasoned breadcrumbs as the last wave unleashed the frying oil, bringing the entire wave to a crispy brown. As the servitors went out to recover the bodies, one of the captains signaled the headquarters “This is Captain Ramsay, Appetizers are ready”

>>27759109
You're making the Emperor proud, son; keep up the good work. I'm waiting for High Inquisitor Ainsley and Sister of Battle Lawson to show up

>>27758683
LINK PLEASE

>>27759252
see
>>27744747

>>27759298
Holy crap, I thought someone was just going to link the old, archived thread. This is a legend come true.

(3/?)
The next attack came heavily reenforced, carnifexs supported the gaunts as they advanced. Defender morale improved dramatically as appetizers were served to the defenders, knowing the potential deliciousness of their foes, they fought harder for another taste. The guardsmen of the garrison readied behind the marines inside the city, knowing now that while they may die, they will see a gastronimic heaven before they do. As the first wave of carnifexs closed in the Iron Chefs approached and began to shred them as they cooked them, their remains being loaded into specialized rhinos, becoming a bisque. The gaunts of this wave reached the marines, who prepared them perfectly before having them loaded into the chowder vats. At the end of this battle a voice sounded over the radio “This is Chef Captain Irvine, soup is out”

(4/4)
What turned out to be the final wave was the largest any have ever seen, billions converged upon the city, in the face of this, the most sacred recipes were opened and readied for battle against this endless foe. Devastators opened fire with flash boilers, the last thing many tyranids tasted was thyme, bay leaf and lemon as they were boiled alive while charging. Tactical Chefs readied utensils and gutted the attackers for the grill. As the hours raged on, various entrees and side dishes were made under fire, the enemy slowly losing force as the defenders prepared the final course. The battle still raged as the swarmlord was found, an Iron Chef closed in to finish the battle. He stomped along, boning knife and seasoning spray ready. As they engaged combat he managed to slice into the shell of the creature, letting full blast with the seasonings aimed at the slice. The creature howled in pain as its natural flavors were complemented and brought out, another slice and seasoning kept the wounds semetrical on the creature, seasoning it evenly. It's claws scratched against the dreadnaught before being laid low by the heavy griller mounted under the knife. As the synapse creature was destroyed the tyranid army turned to a mindless self destroying wave easily cleaned up. The dreadnaught contacted the HQ to give the all clear “This is Iron Chef Brown, enemy is now good eats”.

>>27757536
Well ,whilst it doesn't look like he's actually using it in the photo ,you might use a brush that size for adding an oil glaze to your whole image.course youd have to be careful you didnt flood the picture with linseed oil ,cus that shit it crazy easy to mess up.

sorry for the drop in quality. I was playing with the idea of tyranids being used like shrimp and lobster by the space marines but I don't think I was able to pull it off right.

>>27759747
Relax, it's still great. And I must commend you for not using any marine/marinate pun

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>>27759714
Iron Chef Brown.

Yes. YES!

>>27759823
would have been a bit awkward to use, now I'm debating which of the last 2 I should play with and who they should fight

>>27759747
Its amazing. I love it. I'm hungry who has a tyeanid cookbook?

I'm thinking either:
World Painters vs Eldar
Thousand Minds vs Necrons

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>>27759188
>High Inquisitor Ainsley

Oh dear Emperor

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>>27760079
you better leave this place ,we won't have any deliberate execution here ,just happy accidents.

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>>27758781
>the battle barges “The French Chief” and “Julia's Kitchen” were meeting to exchange new recipes with each other

Delicious.

gentlemen, I have returned, beginning to writefag

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>>27765274

I wait with bated breath.

(1/?)
They came to their maiden world expecting the easy reconquest of their artificial paradise. The Eldar approached the world and noted only a single human compound, a space marine fortress. As they approached they gave them chance for them to retreat from the Eldar planet before being killed like the vermin they were. The commanding farseer, Ar Saedr Ath was invited down to the compound by the marines planetside. Expecting an obvious trap, Ath had a full army land with her to make sure nothing was done by the marines. When she approached the compound she was in awe of how it blended perfectly into the surrounding terrain, structures so beautifully built and painted that each one was a work of art. A helmetless captain approached her and introduced himself as Captain Kinkade. His armor was ornately painted, and he was unarmed as he approached. She was invited into the compound and as they walked entered a gallery room. On the walls were art as the Eldar had never seen before, almost every feature of note on the planet hug from the walls in a blurry but calming image. The captain talked calmly and gently about the art as the farseer's contempt gave way to a begrudging admiration for one so at peace with the world around him. As they walked they saw other marines, their armor painted as well, she inquired about the painted armor, and the marines not carrying weapons but canvases. He told her their mission was to bring beauty into the world for the sake of beauty, and to teach others their way so that one day all may appreciate the world around them. Unsure of what came over her as they talked, she made an unusual offer to these peaceful artists, if he taught her their ways, and she found them satisfactory, she would allow them to stay in their compound as the Eldar reinhabited their world.

>>27765274
thank god I was waiting,

(2/3)
He smiled warmly and accepted her offer as they began to walk to the studio building. Once inside, he nicely asked for two canvases to be brought forth, with appropriate supplies for them. She expected the lesson to take place in front of what they were going to paint, but he revealed to her that they believed the paintings came from within them. He began by slowly making the sky itself, followed by the ground, it was an empty area with a lake in the middle, green grass all around and mountains in the background, as he painted he explained “This is your world, your the creator” at first she thought he meant the planet itself, but as the painting took form she realized it was the world he spoke of. After that he began to slowly add happy little clouds and trees to decorate his image, giving it a natural beauty despite its lack of fine detail. As she tried to make her own image, her untrained hand moved the brush poorly, and she began to get frustrated with her efforts until he looked at her and smiled, explaining there was no such thing as mistakes, just happy accidents. This statement removed her self conscious frustration and let her mind settle back into the task at hand. Still unsure of herself for the first time in centuries, she asked the secret to making such art, he turned to her smiling, pointed the brush at her chest and told her “there are no limits here, you start off by believing here”

(3/3)
They continued to paint, her skill rapidly improving as he helped and encouraged her along. A mix of the serene activity, combined with his calming voice brought a peace to her that was unknown to the Eldar since the birth of Slaanesh. At the days end, when she walked out of the studio with him to the waiting ship at the compound's edge, a marine followed bringing both her paintings and the paintings made today by Captain Kinkade, which he gave to her as a gift. She turned to the captain and asked him “So Captain, would you like to hear if today is a good day for your people?” he smiled warmly and looked at her “I believe everyday is a good day when you paint”. She nodded silently, a mutual understanding that they would be allowed to remain. He watched her as she walked off, he smiled knowing he was able to share the joy of painting.

>>27767145
this is all a masterwork of writing bringing light to a grimdark world. thank you.

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>>27766573
>>27766827
>>27767145

Amazing.

up next,
Bill Nye's Thousand Minds vs the Necrons

(1/?)
The Thriving hiveworld was millenia old, but older still was the threat that lurked deep underneath it's surface. The necrons stirred from their eternal slumber, an unknown peril readying to attack the surface in one decisive swoop. The hive world was under the protection of the Thousand Minds, and as luck would have it, a battle barge was in orbit as captains went to the planet's schools taking the best and brightest young minds to join them in their endless battle against fear and ignorance. Reports came in slowly at first from the lowest levels of the planet wide city, entire floors of the city were falling out of contact, at first this was assumed to be a malfunction until reports came in of metal skeletons. The planetary governor called up to the barge pleading for aid as the invasion continued. In high orbit, Philosopher Captain Sagan ordered his men to prepare for war, arming the drop pods and descending to the planet beneath them.

>>27768640
>Philosopher Captain Sagan

Billions and billions of yes.

>>27766827
>mfw Bob Ross Marines become the World Makers. Capable of using their arcane and powerful DoAT techniques to make whatever worlds they paint into a reality.
As such they specializing in terraforming and creating maiden worlds, while instilling peace and tranquility throughout the galaxy.

(2/?)
>sorry for the delay

The army came down like steel rain upon the city world, falling to the lowest levels to do battle with the evil machines. Heavy weapons were not to be used often due to fear of taking down a building to catastrophic effect, so it was fortunate that the Thousand Minds mastered both alternative tactics and weapons in order to combat their foes. Using knowledge lost to even the adeptus mechanicus they did battle in ways the enemy would never expect. The tunnels the main enemy army was using was to be held by only two Philosopher Marines, Captains Hyneman and Savage. They planned well their strategy, flooding the tunnel from its exit with one part of an archaic mixture, they barricaded the entrance so that the tunnel would flood to half full with their secret weapon. The Necrons advanced without worry, the liquid they walked through having no effect on them at all, unconcerned the continued their steady advance. Once the tunnel was ready, the second part of their plan came into play, from the ventilation ducts distributed throughout the tunnel came the second half of the lost mixture. Upon mixing, the two parts began to violently foam and bubble, filling the tunnel from top to bottom in a white foam that rapidly started to harden until solid, so dense not even the Necrons could move to escape their new prison. Over the comm signal was heard “This is Captain Hyneman, Enemy force is Busted”

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>>27769943
Forgot to upload the picture I intended for this one

>>27769943
>Thpusand Minds is the best Chapter, Captain Hyneman?
>Confirmed.
>Tyranid Buster's confirmed.gif

>>27770054
You could just delete the post and repost it if it really bothers you.

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(3/?)
As word of the decisive defeat of the enemy's main army was confirmed, hope soon turned to terror as miles of the planet's surface were destroyed in an instant, Newton's Law, the barge above the planet saw in the center a Tesseract Vault, now open to reveal the C'Tan within, slowly advancing out of the ruin to continue the battle. Captain Sagan ordered the first team of special devastators to prepare for combat. As they fell inside the drop pod, they readied their weapons for combat, the slow hum of their proton packs being lost amongst the noise. When their pod made planetfall they prepared their ambush, leaving their trap on the ground beneath where the Vault would pass. Once it was over their device, they opened fire from four different directions, unleashing their charged particle beams directly at the C'Tan, weakening and containing it in place, as Philosopher Brother Egon activated the trap, the bright white light consuming and drawing in the C'Tan until it vanished and the vault fell unpowered to the ground. Brother Ray went forth to collect it as their success was radioed in. Cheers where heard when over the communications network Captain Venkman's voice could be heard saying “This bastard's toast!”

>>27758690
The Boondocks is beyond good. also look up the twitter bobrosstho

(4/4)
As the Necrons were slowly routed by the defenders, unable to anticipate or defend against their unconventional tactics, pockets of resistance held out. The largest pocket of resistance was lead by the world's overlord, refusing to cede the surface and return to endless slumber. The marines had them encircled but until the Overlord himself was defeated it seemed unlikely that they would break. This situation caused the need to send a drop pod containing the chapter's most valued venerable dreadnaught, that of Brother Hawking. The drop pod landed right behind enemy lines, unleashing a dreadnaught known and feared for its abilities upon them. The Schrodinger armor prevented any damage from occurring, as the dreadnaught's quantum plasma array made quick work of infantry as it marched to the overlord. When they met in combat the overlord attempted to slice through the armor and kill the pilot inside. It did not expect it's blow to be blocked so easily by the dreadnaught's bladed melee weapon, Occam's Razor. The necron and the dreadnaught fought for hours, their mechanical bodies not knowing fatigue. Until finally, when their battle became the last conflict on the entire world, the dreadnaught overcame it's foe's defense and cleaved it in two. As the damage was assessed, it was decided that one of their own would be left behind to help the hive rebuild, and so Captain Tyson was left to oversee the reconstruction of this world.

Screen caps please?

>>27756548
So, Is Gordon Ramsey a Cook who entered the warp and told it to fuck off?

>>27769943
Kinda sad that while gifted engineers, the mythbusters are utter boobs when it comes to science.

>>27771412
considering I'm the one who added him I might as well answer that. He is a Brother Captain in the Julia's Children chapter, space marines who specialize in culinary battle

>>27759109
>an automatic pepper mill
My sides!!!

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>>27756775
>In the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, there is only happy little trees
>MFW

>>27771443
Eh, they're not great, but they get the masses interested in science, and that's a good thing.

>>27772876
>This whole thread

>Bob Ross teaches orks the art of painting
Make it happen

This thread was hood and you should feel good. Now we need caps.

>>27773556
Seriously, capwizards, where art thou?

>>27756619
Anti Nurgle is BARRY SCOTT of Cillit Bang fame. BANG and the foul pestilence is gone.

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>>27774006
possibly Kim&Aggie the twin ladies of clean.

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>>27774006

You rang?

>>27774043
To clarify Kim and aggie are two ladies from the british tv series "how clean is your house?" where they come in and clean up someone's house; if boy blue is nurgles avatar on this plane then they are his antithesis as they go into the worst of houses to clean them.
Kim is the stern older one about not letting yourselves fall to bad standards and getting down to business, how you can always fight against uncleanliness.
Aggie is the happy go lucky one who remains positive and generally endearing whilst showing the reality and damage that can occur.

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>this whole thread

>>27772973
by request, Orks vs World Painters coming up soon

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>>27774341
I went to bed and woke up. Your still here. You're the awesome.

>>27771113
Brother Hawking? In a Dreadnaught?!

Oh Emperor I shouldn't be laughing at this but this is too hilarious

Bit late, but wouldn't Slaanesh's antithesis be Mohandis Ghandi? Dude was all about denial of sensation, as well as passivity. Dude slept next to naked chicks to test his resolve, and he was never found wanting. He fasted and meditated frequently, both of which involved denial of sensation. Possible scenario: Slaanesh finds him meditating in the warp, attempts to woo/convert him, winds up self destructing when Ghandi denies all sensation in the pursuit of spiritual enlightenment.

>>27774881
And, of course, Ghandi received no pleasure nor sensation from his pursuit of spiritual enlightenment.

>>27774881
Hand I was a rapist

>>27774881
GHandI was a rapist damn phonr

>>27756548
Has no one mentioned yet that in real life he was a former drill-instructor and worked in the air force? And that he specifically took up painting so he would never have to scream at people again?

>>27774953
Exactly he actively opposed violence

>>27774881
Wouldn't the anti-Slaanesh be Buddha?

>>27774941
Remember kids: never run with edges.

(1/3)
The orks came to the peaceful world riding their space hulk. Their leader, the great warboss Waskull came to have a good time stomping on the weak. Their battle raged, the defending garrison managed to hold them at bay for a time, but were losing ground rapidly. Their planet sent a plea for help, which would likely be received centuries after their deaths. It was instead received hours later, the world painters were on a nearby world, helping to show its beauty with their canvas. While not one of the more combative space marine groups, they did respond immediately as was their duty to help. They boarded their battle barge and made full speed to the besieged planet, arriving a day later. They deployed immediately to the battlefield, paint, and brushes in their hands, canvas and easel on their backs.

(2/3)
When they arrived on the world, they deployed their tools immediately, beginning to show the true beauty of this planet under siege. As the orks advanced they slowed, for the first time unsure what to make of the marines ahead of them. No weapons were drawn, no one was running, just a line of marines working at their canvas. The orks charged in but as they took sight of the canvas, and heard the calm voices of the marines welcoming them to their painting lesson, they took pause. They watched, at first trying to figure out the trick, but soon took interest in what the marines were saying. Some orks began to sit, others stood captivated, one nob stepped forward asking a question about why the marines were painting trees and grass in a burned field. He was told by a marine who pointed his brush at this canvas that this was their world, their creation, and the just needed to believe in here, moving the direction of his brush to point at the ork's chest with those last words.

(3/4!)
The battle planet wide started to pause, as the marines were able to calm the orks and show them the joy of painting instead of warfare. The grey sky of warfare gave way to the blue sky of peace, unnaturally fast, the grass returned and trees thrived, the world quickly becoming more beautiful than before the battle began. But one resisted, Waskull himself, the marines tried to figure out how to share what they did with him but it was decided that a desperate measure had to be taken. One of their own would have to sacrifice himself to be a vessel of their god. His decoratively painted armor was painted blue, happy little trees were made to adorn his boots, happy little clouds adorned his shoulders, and then the ritual went underway, ending with the removal of his helmet to reveal his now permed afro, having become the Living Ross. He walked forth through the masses and approached the warboss directly. As he swung his power claw, the Living Ross moved out of the way, his brush touching the claw as he dodged. Dodge and paint, dodge and paint, that became the way by which the Living Ross did battle with the warboss, all while talking to him about what painting techniques he used on his armor. The warboss finally caught a glimpse of his painted claw, it filled him with a weird feeling, one he was unused to, that of inner peace. Instead of blood, it was covered with the image of the now wonderful world around him. It contained images of grass, clouds, trees and lakes, all of which now surrounded them as the World Painters powers were amplified by the orks observing them.

(4/4)
No longer with the desire to do battle, the warboss lowered his claw, as he did this, the Living Ross took out his easel and began, first by welcoming the warboss to his first lesson and then by beginning to teach him how to paint. The lesson took hours, and at the end of the day, dozens of paintings were made, the warboss's skill rapidly improving as he learned. When they finished, the Living Ross handed his brush to the warboss, smiled, and told him to teach others the joy of paining as he taught him before fading back to true peace. The warboss took his instructions to heart, and his army was known since then as the Painted Boyz, spreading the joy of painting through the first artistic WAAGH! In history.

Thanks!
Can someone do some screen capping so we can save these?

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>>27775258
>>27775249
>>27775230
>>27775214
For you

>>27775258
>the Living Ross
I think I love you. C-Could you do Dark Eldar vs. the Neighborhood Watch next? That would be brilliant.

>stupefied Resorwi

>>27775413
I'm not sure if it should be the Neighborhood Watch defending a world from them, or the apocalyptic Beautiful Day in Commorragh

>>27775476
>Beautiful Day in Commorragh
I would love you forever.

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>>27774006

Perfect!

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>>27758470
oh god my sides

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>>27774006

Perfect!

>>27775476
beautiful day in commorragh please

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>wake up
>Thread still here
I fucking love you /tg/

>>27758690
this is one of the best episodes

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This thread will not die on my watch.

>>27756548
I'll assume the orks use a lot of green for their happy little trees?

My god... What happens when Bob Ross' power is combined with that of the color red?

>>27781622
His soothing voice makes you fall asleep faster.

Gotta love ASMR.

>>27781622
>The Orks use red brushes to paint faster.
>Never before has a WAAAGH! moved across the sector this fast, or this peacefully.

>>27759109
>>27759361
>>27759714
>no tyranids, you are the food
just the right combination of optimistic and twisted, I love this

>>27757287
Awesome
>>27757557
Saved.

>>27757583
And fucking lost it.

>>27769359
I like this plan
furthermore, when moving together, the designs on their armor blends together to form one, massive landscape that seems almost indistinguishable from real terrain to an untrained veiwer

>>27782705
wall of painted warriors makes a super mural. god that would be weird to see. probably fuck with your vision too.

>>27782739
little deer and rabbits seem to be moving across the scene as they march forward
modified jetpacks simulate cloud formations

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>>27759714
>This is Iron Chef Brown, enemy is now good eats.
I see what you did there.

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>>27784008

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>>27784008
also

There needs to be a Librarian Burton master of the hypnotic psychic power of Rainbow Reading.

>>27784008
>>27784030
>>27784067
Why do these screenshots look spotty?

>>27757557
I just want you to know that you're a good person for doing this. I hope you have a nice rest of the night.

>>27784983
they are. paint did something screwy. Im not even sure WHY the second one is blue as I copied and pasted it directly.

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>>27768640

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>>27771113
>Most venerable dreadnaught
>Brother Hawking

The only thing that could make this better is if some drawfriends could do some mockups of uniforms/colors. But I'm not one of those, so far be it from me to demand.

This is just too great

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>>27785315
Sagan vs. Necrons

>this entire thread
why is this not archived and put on 1d4 chan.
literally this looks like what could be the emperors master plan of offing the chaos gods, by making an equal and opposite group to fight down chaos in its entirety.

sorry about the delay, beginning to write "A Beautiful Day in Commorragh"

>>27785655
oh lordi, can't wait for that

>>27785655
>the Dark Eldar homeworld fighting off the invincible forces of the friendly neighborhood
thats awesome and you should feel awesome.

>>27756936
Next a paladin of Mr.Rogers
His weapon is his love and understanding.

>>27785606
A thousand times this. Could someone here upload this to suptg?

(1/?)
The dark eldar returned to Commorragh with a hold full of fresh slaves from their latest raid. They considered themselves victorious, not yet knowing the power that followed behind them. As they docked and began to unload their living cargo, they took a moment to enjoy planning what to do with their haul. But their plots were short lived, as suddenly the dark city went silent. All intercoms and speakers in the city went dead, music stopped, wireless communications ceased, the city was silent as death itself. Then suddenly a noise was heard, a song played on the piano, a gentle song that brought an unnatural calm to the denizens of Commorragh.

(2/?)
They realized they had been followed and the city was on full alert expecting to be under siege from all angles if the foe was able to disrupt their communications that easily. They were thrown into panic when they could only see a single battle barge with no obvious weapons approaching them. Expecting it to be a trap of some sort, they were unsure of what to do, destroy the obvious bait now, or let this play out to understand the attack they were under better. The song's calming effects kept them from assaulting the ship, arguing about tactics but at their core unknowingly unwilling to take destructive action against it.

>>27757536
>didn't even see the show
>doesn't know what that bush topped baddass would do to a canvas with dat dere 2 inch brush
Nigga, educate yourself.

epic thread

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This thread amuses me to the greatest amount.
Emperor bless you all.

>>27786428
you too faithful servant of the emperor.

Who is the emperor in this setting, if space marines are serving each of the 4 Order gods?

(3/?)
The ship deployed marines as it passed over the city, unarmed, unarmored marines, wearing naught but jacketless suits and sweaters. The dark eldar swarmed them as they landed, but were unable to close in for the kill, stunned by the opponents nonthreatening nature. They could not bring themselves to perform violence in the presence of ones so peaceful, it seemed an act of depravity even beyond them. Slowly they began to join in the song, lead by the marines, who invited them to once again be part of something greater than carnal pleasure and horrific sadism. The warp itself seemed to slowly change around them as the “battle” took place, the twisting chaos in the sky calming around them.

>>27786469
horus, trying to revive the chaos gods from the emperors final plan of basically resetting the universe in reverse.

>>27786469
Someone who advocates free will and brotherly love. A family man who loves all and thinks that technology is driving us all apart

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>>27786469

>>27786491
to expand on this idea
have it where the emperors terminus decree basically set up some sort of causation wave where the universe essentially reversed on itself with relation of the warp and humanity, where everything else is the same, but chaos is literally dying off and all 4 chaos gods basically blow their power bringing horus back into some kind of super god like emperor of chaos.
from there, the imperium of man serves the 4 gods of order and turns into a good kind of chaos while chaos itself basically turns into a dark kind of imperium to fight back for the grim darkness of the grim dark future.

>>27786541
>Sagan over Feynman

>>27786548
The picture of Sagan already existed, don't say that to me.

>>27774043

Maybe they could be an Order of the sisters of battle?

Order of the spotless house?

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>>27786698
What a shame their most powerful vehicle managed to get "gifted" to the Alfa Legion...

>>27786834
I honestly have no fucking clue what the shit I am looking at.

(4/5)
Some pockets of resistance did exist, some of the stronger resistance came from the lairs of the haemonculi, their twisted creations not having the mind to know peace. Appropriate countermeasures were taken, with one of the greater lairs of the haemonculi being designated for Puppeter Marine Henson to bring to peace with his creations. His pods landed, and his forces stepped forth to clear a path for him to the enemy leader. He walked in, and found the haemonculus working quickly on a new twisted creation. He stopped and looked at Henson as Henson began to speak, asking him why he twisted life in such a way. The haemonculus replied, unintentionally truthful, that no one else would listen to him so he created things that had no choice but to obey him. The Henson slowly advanced, warm smile on his face explaining to him that all had a right to be listened to, but it was wrong to force others to listen. They talked until Henson embraced the eldar warmly and said that he would listen for as long as the eldar wanted to speak. The haemonculus called his twisted creations off, and sat with Henson while the battle raged on, just talking, satisfied that he was finally talked to for him not his abilities.

>>27786851
It's like a Baneblade, but a bath.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJMKGTT0Qpk
Purge the Unclean with the Mighty Brush Cannon!

>>27757536

Dude he dry brushed that picture in three strokes with the color orange. Do you even happy little tree?

>>27786891
waiting for the epic conclusion.

(5/5)
Asdrubael Vect, lord of the dark city, leader of the dark eldar, refused to give in, even managing to mount a resistance and kill neighborhood watchmen he came across. It was deemed necessary to call upon their greatest power, sacrifice one of their own to become the Eternal Neighbor. He was prepared for the ceremony, sang the song, and upon changing his shoes to sneakers was consumed and possessed by the Eternal Neighbor. He went forth to the planet, to meet with Vect himself. The Neighbor approached him, calmly, quietly, weapons not working in his serene presence. He talked to Vect, asked him why he took pleasure in the pain of others and not in helping them. They talked for hours, as they did the warp around the city changed from the abundant positive energy, the chaos became a solid blue, warm light came forth from seemingly the entire sky. Vect while no longer fighting refused to give in to the Neighbor, until finally, the Neighbor forgave him. Vect was prepared for all but this and fell to his knees in shame a man broken not by weapons of hate, but by words of love. He wept for what he had done, in awe that one man could forgive him the unforgivable acts that had been his way of life since birth. The Neighbor smiled down and dried his tears, saying that peace could be found by using his armies for good, to defend the weak not enslave them. He told him his men could save their souls from eternal damnation by being to pure to take, that in death they could join the peaceful neighborhood that the good were blessed with. At that moment the Dark Eldar were no more, their darkness broken, in their place stood the Neighborly Eldar, opposed to injustice and hate, enlightened by the Eternal Neighbor. As The space marine ship flew off, the eldar looked around, and finally witnessed a beautiful day in Commoragh

>>27787345
10/10

God I love the line 'You are not the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.' I don't know why but that line is haunting.

>>27787384
No one wants to upset Mr. Rogers. No one.

Mr. Rogers had his car stolen once, when the story was reported on the thieves returned his car along with a note saying that they wouldn't have taken it if they knew it was his.

>>27787375
thanks
>>27787384
I agree but I didn't want to use it again, I felt if I used it in more than one story it would loose it's impact and become just a catchphrase

>>27756548

PASTELS FOR THE PASTEL GOD

PAINT FOR THE PAINT THRONE

at this rate I'm throwing around the idea of all four chapters working together for a reverse black crusade of some sort but I'm not sure if I can pull it off

>>27787742
From the eye of order they come to do something i guess

Eye of Peace is probably more accurate. Calm the chaos, temper the rage, soothe the paranoia, bring contentment to the unsated.

>>27787742
considering their patrons, I could see the four chapters going from world to world teaching them to 'worship' their gods. Some imperial scouts will visit these worlds and find out that the people are.. pretty nice really. This of course would confuse even the toughest space marine as their brains try to wrap around this.

>>27787922
would that mean these guys don't serve the emperor?

>>27788751
Well instead of Chaos gods they serve the Peace gods

>>27788751
I think in the alternate reality where thse for Order deities exist, the Emperor of Mankind would actually be this Chaos being who controls the main front of humanity through warp powers or some shit, and Horus would be seen as a heroic figure. Think Transformers: Shattered Glass, Star Trek's Mirror Universe, or any evil alternate reality you can think of.

why not both?
a separate entity locked away by the emperor in case his mission to destroy chaos failed, made to awaken from stasis if some sort of signal occurs or a time has passed with no signal

the idea of them being used in a mirror universe could also be fun, I need to see what works best for stories

I'd love to add to this, but I'm afraid that anything I add wouldn't involve contemporary great minds.

Bampf

>>27756548

I believe, I believe!

I can see Julia Child being the antiTyranid. but who, currently, is the most "Denial of stimulus?"
David Blaine?

>>27785556
That was a good issue.

>>27790901
>>27790156
Kristen stuart

>>27770540
I love this so much. Why did you know I have a "ghostbusters in supernatural fiction" fetish?

>>27788751
indeed,
though I suspect their ways could have considerable pull amongst imperial citizens to compensate for being far more restrained than chaos

I have blasphemous ideas for the application of watercolors...

>Personal Writefagging attempt.
1/2
The Painter stood in his realm, The Studio, working his brush lovingly over his latest creation: a happy, calm winter scene. Happy trees sat behind a cheerful pond, with a gently sloping mountain in the background, and joyful bushes in the foreground.
Suddenly, the door to The Studio exploded off of it's hinges, and in stepped Khorne himself, attired for battle, cloven feet tracking blood all over the carpeting in the studio.
"PREPARE YOURSELF, WORM," Khorne screamed, "FOR I HAVE COME TO TAKE YOUR SKULL!"
Still engrossed in his work, The Painter replied, "Well, friend, as you can see, I am busy at the moment, but you're just in time if you want a lesson."
This only served to infuriate Khorne more. He stormed up next to The Painter, staring at the easel.
"YOU WERE ONCE A WARRIOR, NOW YOU ARE A PANSY! YOUR PAINTINGS AMUSE ONLY YOURSELF!" And with that, Khorne knocked the easel over, and stomped a hoof onto the painting, leaving a bloody mark. "NOW IT IS RUINED, WHAT WILL YOU DO?" Khorne brayed with laughter, knowing that The Painter must surely be enraged at his artwork being defaced so.
"Oh, it's not ruined, friend," replied The Painter, "It's just another happy accident."
"BUT IT WAS NO ACCIDENT, I PUT MY HOOFPRINT ON IT, AND NOW YOUR 'QUAINT' WINTER SCENE HAS BLOOD, AS IT SHOULD BE!"
The Painter ignored Khorne's rant, and stood his easel up, straightening the painting, and staring at the hoofprint intently.
"Yes, this might work," The Painter muttered, dabbing his 2" fine detail brush at the blood, working it a little.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, I SAID IT'S RUINED! FIGHT ME ALREADY!"
"Here's your first lesson, my friend, there are no mistakes, only happy accidents."
The painter was fully intent on the print now, dabbing into his palette for a lighter red, followed by some black, brown, and umber.
Khorne's eyes widened behind his blood-crusted visor, as his hoopfrint was slowly transformed into a barn.

>>27794201
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Just a few finishing touches..." The Painter said as he applied a little white and sky blue to the roof of the barn, making it look like it had been there the whole winter, indeed, the barn appeared to BELONG to the painting, as if the painting was meant for the barn. A few more dabs of white and blue, and The Painter stepped back, turning to the Blood God.
"See? Happy accidents."
Khorne was shocked, in the span of half a minute, The Painter had taken something bloody and terrifying, and made into something beautiful and serene. His eyes roved over the entire painting, seeking an imperfection, a blemish, SOMETHING he could use to deride The Painter.
It was then he noticed that there was a small white mark in front of the barn. He leaned in to see what it was, and was shocked to see a tiny snow-Khorne, radiating happiness, positioned in front of the barn.
Khorne stood there, dumbfounded, and his weapons fell from his hands.
"How?" His voice, now comparatively a whisper, escaped from his helm. "How, in the span of half a minute, did you manage to turn bloodshed into beauty."
"Because, my friend, I see the beauty inherent in everything. I saw the beauty in the hoofprint, and I see the beauty in you." A smile creased The Painter's face. "Now, would you like to learn how to see the beauty in things like I do?" He held out his hand, a clean brush clenched in it.
With crimson tears streaming from his eyes, Khorne nodded his head, took his brush, grabbed a palette, and stood at the empty canvas that had appeared in front of him.
"Okay, what sort of scene would you like to paint?"
>Fin

>>27794344
i love you

Why is everything in this thread so perfect?

here's an idea on integrating the gods of Harmony into the greater setting
think about the eldar and their connections to chaos, before the craftworld eldar split off the eldar very much embodied the ideals of chaos with their lifestyle, and the dark eldar continue this tradition, despite never actually communing with the ruinous powers
Harmony can have a mirroring relationship here with the Tau
Farsight enclaves act as craftworld Eldar here, throwing off the greater good philosophy
the main Tau have a fall-like event (possibly caused by Harmony involvement) in where the Ethereals are outed as having manipulated the populous, T'au political structure collapses and many tau worlds join Farsight, however other Tau attempt to carry on the ideal of the Greater Good without the Ethereals' involvement, in this they embody Harmony without actually being able to connect to them due to not having warp sensitivity.

>>27795188
furthermore, partially for the lulz, Harmony undivided is oftentimes both equal and opposite chaos
for example, cultist recruitment pools are very similar between them, namely unnoticed or unwanted in imperial society
a possible symbol for Harmony may be a circle surrounding 8 spokes, it connects people of all different paths.
I admit I'm not sure what to do with Harmony undivided other than generally being idealistic types, I suppose if they need to dirty their hands these would be the people to look to

>>27794201
>>27794344
This is good, please write a bit more if you feel like it

>>27795325
Like chaos on the tabletop, each main chapter of Harmony provides specialists that can round out the greater force, however unlike CSM these marines are generally specced out for support roles, such as World Painters creating favorable terrain, or Julia's Children buffing troops while having Iron Chefs specialized to dismantle MCs
Neighborhood watch mirror plague marines in being absurdly tanky infantry (though for different reasons, see next post), lastly Thousand Minds have debuff ability and can use gadgetry parralel to chaos sorcery to provide alternative attack

>>27795416
I suppose you could fluff Sallys as becoming World Bearer equivalents, but that could be a touchy subject.
Anyways, the main doctrine of Harmony forces would be a sort of tactical Judo, if you will, using what could be disadvantageous situations and using it to their advantage.
They can supplement a lack of conventional hard-hitters with god-tier alliance tables, Neighborhood Watch can shut down gun lines by forcing leadership rolls for incoming attacks to hit home (thus shielding other forces if moving in formation).
If an opponent fields loads of Monstrous creatures Julia's Children units can buff allies by cooking the units.
If they field tarpit formations Thousand Minds could magnetize armor or use some kind of hardening agent to make them an equal obstruction to the enemy.
If units are caught in the open World painters can pop up cover on demand, or they can turn that same space into rough terrain to old up enemy vehicles.

It's like Ross said, there are no mistakes, just happy accidents.

Thoughts?

it sounds like a fun combination of talents and abilities, it would be a fun army to field. Not heavy hitters but subtle modification of conventional tactics would be a nice army to use.

>>27796050
mostly I'm just trying to make something that would actually integrate into the setting, even if it ends up being tongue-in-cheek as a result

>>27796050
what do you think should be done on undivided, a particular chapter?

Ally Tables!
Battle Brothers:
Imperial Guard
Space Marines
Eldar
Tau
Allies of Convenience:
Orks
Necrons
Inquisition (including SoB)
Desperate Allies:
Tyranids (yep, finally)
Dark Eldar
Enemies:
Chaos (not even once)

can someone screencap the stories in this thread? I am on phone so I cant.

>>27795372
>>27795005
Sorry, I got nothing... I had been thinking on the Ross/Khorne thing since this thread started up, but I just put two and two together today. Still, glad you like it.

In regards to the origins of this force, AU is a possibility, however I'd rather do this as a continuation.
Anyvase, some point in m42 buncha inquisition guys get together to perform a ritual in hope of getting emps2.0, what happens though is positive emotions gather, spatially and temporally, and congeal into 4 new warp entities; Ross, Childs, Rogers, and Nye.
Whereas Chaos came from major events, Mongol Invasion, Spanish Flu, Hedonism Singularity, etc. The energy that fueled the birth of the 4 beings of Harmony came from a trillion (or so) small acts, everyday acts of kindness and idealism.
In seeing the role humanity will play in the battle for the collective souls of the galaxy, they took the names and forms of figures from humanity's past, but not larger-than-life figures like the Emprah. Because instead of showing themselves as majestic, unknowable beings like the Chaos gods, they presented themselves to others as teachers, holders of simple, yet profound, truth.
(cont)

>>27796943
>mfw Bob Ross befriends the tyranids as "his animal firends" and they turn fuzzier and use their claws to paint too.

>>27798302
sounds like a winner to me.

>>27798302
>Bob Ross
>not Steve Irwin

>>27798529
OH SWEET JESUS!
>Roit, now 'ere we see this beeutiful carnifex, it's jaws can crush astartes plate, and it's claws can break a land raider in half. I'M GONNA WRASSLE IT!

>>27798563
>CRIKEY! Tha li'le bugga got me ahm! you go'a be reeally gen'le when peel'n yer ahm ou'a this bugga's jahs! they'll tay-ah through Termina'ah ahmor like tinfoil!

>This whole damn thread

I...
I love you, /tg/.
You're my happy little accident.

Never change.

<3

>>27797965
At the time of their creation, the gods of harmony were far weaker than chaos (their collective creation failed to create a noticeable rift, though warp currents in the sector remain exceedingly calm to this day)
However they had an advantage in that, while most of Chaos' power went to squabbling amongst themselves, the gods of harmony were able to devote almost the entirety of their power to gaining a foothold in the materium.
Thanks to this they've managed to expand exceptionally quickly, establishing controlled systems in Segmentum Ultima and numerous smaller cults thoughout the galaxy, proving that even in the Grim Darkness of the Far future, the peoples of the galaxy have not lost all hope in a brighter future.
The Harmony Space Marines, whose original chapter names are lost to history, are the right hand of Harmony within the materium, as Harmony daemons are limited at best and a myth at worst due to their relatively minor presence in the warp. While the allegiance of these Astartes was initially passed off as unorthodox rituals, their status is now considered highly suspect by the inquisition, however they have managed to avoid any serious sanctions as they have been helpful to the imperium and continue to provide gene-seed tithes in hopes of bringing other chapters to their way of thinking, indeed the [undivided chapter] is believed to be working with these chapters.
While Harmony largely poses itself as a united front, it's not without disagreements between supporters of the different gods, or the gods themselves (like form v function between Ross and Nye). Still they make a point of solving such issues peacefully, more than can be expected of most factions in the galaxy.

>>27798563
The thing to understand about Irwin is why he wrestled the crocs. Shooting the croc with tranqs and using those nets/bindings on stick is stressful to the croc. Wrestling it down is actualy less stressfull to the critter. Steve Irwen got into close combat with the some of the worlds most dangerous creatures for the sake of those creatures. It was an act of KINDNESS.

He is truely a worthy member of the Neighborhood Watch.

>>27800658
hear hear!
also bumping in hopes of more creative stuff!

Quite probably the greatest thread i have ever seen on any website ever.

Bravo.

The Swarmlord strode across the field, bringing death to those who came within range of it's guard creatures. This world would soon be reduced to food for the hive fleet and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Suddenly, a single drop pod slammed down from the sky. Instead of standard space marines, it disgorged a motley mix of marines, Ogryn, and Sisters of battle. All were dressed for tropic weather, cargo shorts, tee shirts, and sandals. Brother-Captain Irwin bounced on his heels, talking excitedly to a servo skull with a mounted camera, while behind him, his command squad, the Crocodile Hunters, fanned out and approached the Tyrant Guards.
"Roit, now what we 'ave 'ere, is the Teer-ah-nid Swahrmlohrd! 'E's the most nasty, DAYngerous bloke ever popped out by the 'ive fleet! Look at 'im, isn't he a beaut? I'm going to try to catch'im, without harming him."
His second in command, Sister Terri, was busy organizing the squad. The Gator Boys, skilled assault marines, would flank left and "work" half of the guard, while Scout Sergeant Turtleman and his Ogryn crew would attempt to calm and capture the guard on the right. Librarian Corwin would work with Sister Terri to provide commentary on the Xenos and their habits. The servo-skull followed Captain Irwin as he slinked around the side of the skirmish between his squad and the Tyranid death star.

>>27801805
"Okay, now I'm going to try to get'im from behind, where his boneswords, shouldn't reach me."
The Swarmlord turned to follow the Captain who was, strangely, unarmed. It let out a threatening hiss, as it realized that the battle would be between it and the Space Marine.
"CRIKEY, he's spotted me. Looks like I'm going to have to do this the hard way." And with that, Brother-Captain Irwin charged headlong at the Swarmlord.
The Swarmlord reacted quickly, slashing it's deadly blades at the impetuous marine, but each swing was avoided with amazing grace, only managing to ruffle the hair on the Captain's unarmored head.
"Woah, he nearly got me there." Irwin shouted with glee at the camera skull. "Now, I need to get his back!" With that, the crazed captain scrabbled up the Swarmlord's side, using it's dorsal spires as handholds. The Swarmlord reacted as expected, thrashing about violently, trying to dislodge him.
"Wow, you can REALLY feel 'is powah. 'E's a real tough fightah!" the captain screamed gleefully.
As he finally got purchase atop the Swarmlord's head, Irwin pulled some null-cloth from a pocket of his cargo shorts and draped it over the Swarmlord's eyes. The Tyranid struggled, confused, as the link to the Hive Mind was abruptly cut off.
"Easy now, fellah. Easy...easy..." Captain Irwin cooed as the struggles of the great beast lessened, and a calm descended on it. Slowly, it sank to the ground, as did all of the organisms under it's command, drifting into slumber.
Sister Terri at this point approached the skull.
"With the Swarmlord calmed, we can now safely move the entire swarm to a sanctuary galaxy, where they will be treated for any injuries, and set free to roam with more of their own kind."
"Remember," interjected Librarian Corwin, "Tyranids may look cute and cuddly, but they are not pets. If you see one, or a genestealer, report it to your local Neighborhood watch fleet, so we can relocate them."
>Fin, i think...

>>27802138
Really good writefriend.

>Corwin and Irwin together against tyranids.
This is like a childhood dream come true.

>>27798563
>Brother Irwin gets tragically slain by a Tau Manta

>>27775021
He had an arrainged marriage. So he might have at some point been a little rapey during his Lawyer years.

>>27803232
>Just like everyone else in India
Doesn't mean he was a rapist. Hell, did he even have kids?

>>27802138
>mfw the Swarmlord learns Aussie-accented gothic under Brother-Captain Irwin and an appreciation for all lifeforms. Irwin and Swarmlord then proceeds to teach the Hive Fleet to become the Saviors of Life and save all of the galaxies species along with general travel and adventure. The Tyranids for the most part buy up the galaxy's supply of hawaiian shirts and safari hats and head out of the galaxy to explore and document new life...while regurgitating all the old species they ate before and returning them to the galaxies of origin. Including a certain abhuman race of stout and strong individuals.

>>27803316
Yup, kid became one of the presidents of India. Before she got shot too.
India kinda is in a really bad spot, Pakistan successfully deterring their larger neighbor and China having already successfully invaded them once. Hence their nukes.

>>27756594

Mr. Rogers won the Ultimate Showdown.

>>27794201
>>27794344
This made me giggle so much.

Just imagine Khorne looking dumfounded, sighing and picking up an easel to begin painting a landscape.

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We need to archive this thread. It has brought me much happiness.

>>27803385
FUCK YES

>>27758010
i have to say... this seems incredibly creepy to me.

Wake up to Tryanid hunting Steve Irwin,
I love this thread

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>>27794201
>>27794344
Capped

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>>27801805
>>27802138
Also capped

>>27807705
Thank you

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Don't mind me just keeping the thread alive with some good old fashioned necromancy.

Fun stuff, my parents used to own a waterbed shop back in the 80s and they sold one to Bob Ross and his wife. Then they went out for dinner.
Sad thing he died. Smoked like freight train.

You shall not die on me thread.

>>27814984
oh wow Im amazed this thread is still alive.

heres the link to the suptg archive.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27756548/

>>27815014
I kinda want to see how long we can keep the thread alive. So far its been 3 days.

>>27785606
Second this. Don't have time to read it all right now, please put this on 1d4chan, so I can cherish every word of this glorious thread time after time.

>>27815089
I know and Im interested as well, isnt the bump limit 300 before it autosages?

>>27819012
Yes it is. Hmm... What else could be done?

>>27819505
sadly I'm out of story ideas at the moment, anyone have army vs requests?

>>27821406
How about an interaction between Brother captain Sagan and a stereotypical member of the Adeptus Mechanicus?

>>27821515
>Sagan becomes the Ommissah

So has this glorious thread been archived yet?

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>>27757557
By the Emperor, I feel proud to bear witness to this thread.

Bumping for day 4

Ross' Brush, this thread will LIVE!

Ressurrection for the greater good.

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>this whole thread

>>27803190
It's weird to think that was more than 7 years ago.

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Thank you, /tg/. After a day at work sweating, moving boxes, and leading people to things right in front of them.... and I come home and read this whole thread and get reminded of that sweet Bob Ross remix.
Well, a man just has no choice but to feel at peace with the world.
In the words of >>27789305; I believe.
Also, I capped something I found really cool from this thread and I decided to share it.
Thanks, neighbors.

Good god emperor archive it all before its lost.

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>>27832172
It has been, neighbor.
Also, I notice that none of you seem to have capped A Beautiful Day in Commoragh, so I did it for you.
Won't you be my neighbor?

>>27758142
>you_done_good_anon.jpg

>>27781441
I am sure that they do

on this day six of /tg/ thread of calming gods, I did perform necromancy to keep this thread from the grave.

Bump, because I might still have some ideas for writefaggorty.

>>27758781
>>27759109
>>27759361
>>27759714
Requesting a screenshot

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>>27835393
Done and done

>>27835393
>>27835486
You guys do know that this was already screenshotted here right? >>27784030

>>27794201
>>27794344
and
>>27801805
>>27802138's author here, I'm going to try one more piece, this time of The Eternal Neighbor, bringing true happiness and friendship to Papa Nurgle.
>Hope I can do good...here we go
The planet of Exiqus Theta was doomed. That is what Nurgle thought, as he watched them go about their lives from his Garden. They would all fall ill, and then they would cry to him, begging for release. Then, when they gave themselves to him, they would love him. But which plague to use...Zombies? Ulhren's Pox? So many choices. Maybe the new one he had tested on Isha this morning. That one produced such lovely boils.
His musings were interrupted by a voice from the direction of his garden's gate.
"Hello, neighbor. May I please come in?"
The voice sounded incredibly human, and strangely calm: two things that were never together in the Warp. Nurgle ambled over to his gate, to see what strange manner of visitor had stopped by.
As the gate came into view, Nurgle was startled to see that, yes, it did indeed look like a normal human had come to his domain. And how incredibly normal this person was: lean of build, wearing brown slacks, a light blue button dress shirt under a slightly darker blue sweater. And his shoes! Simple brown loafers, seemingly unsullied from walking through the outer parts of the garden. In fact, this man was unsoiled, unblemished, even though he HAD to have walked through the garden to get to where he was standing. Still, the man had asked nicely, so what was the harm?
"Oh my, yes. Please, do come in. I rarely have willing visitors. How did you get here, human? You don't look like someone I have given my gift to."
"I walked, neighbor. And while I appreciate your graciousness, I don't have any need for those 'gifts' of yours. Which is actually why I came by."

>>27803452
OF ULTIMATE DESTINY

>>27836128
Nurgle arched a slimy eyebrow at that statement. His gifts were REFUSED? How could that be? Nobody could resist the plagues that the plants of his garden exuded.
"What do you mean by that?" he quipped, as he went back to stirring his cauldron, prepping a new plague to deal with Exiqus Theta.
"Why do you send such gifts to people you don't know?" asked the stranger.
"Because," said the Plaguefather, as he strolled over to the cage containing Isha with a sample of his newest brew, "It's how I show my love for everyone." He then splashed Isha with the mixture. "And when they're feeling my love the most, they pray to me. They give their love to me. And in return, I give them more gifts, and they thank me for it." At this point, Isha's skin had sloughed off of her arms, and boils that wept purple ichor had sprouted over the rest of her body. The Eldar Goddess wept as she healed herself. "Hmm, needs more snot..."
"But is that really love, neighbor?" The stranger's question stopped Nurgle in his tracks.
"W-What?"
The stranger was calmly staring at him with a kind, sad smile on his face. "I asked you if that's actually love."
"Of course it is!" Nurgle all but shouted. "Why would you say it wasn't?"
The stranger placed his hands on the Plaguefather's flabby shoulders, and looked him in the eye.
"Is it actually love, neighbor? Do they ask for you to wrack their bodies with pain and disease?"
"No. But when they're diseased, and at their worst, they look for cures, they look for solutions, they look to escape the pain, they look for me. They NEED me. They CALL TO ME. Then...THEN...They LOVE me!"
"So you force them to love you?"
"NO. I give them despair, and when they give in to it, they find me waiting with open arms, to make the despair enjoyable."
"You force them to love you." This time it was a statement. "And that isn't true, pure love, is it, neighbor?"

>>27836407
"It's...N-n-no...No, it isn't." Nurgle's grin was gone from his face. "I mean, I just...I make these wondrous things, you know?" He held up his bloated, greasy hand. In it's palm, nurglings and plaguebearers danced around a Great Unclean one. "They're all aspects of me, and, well...I just want someone to see them, and appreciate all the work I put into them. Same with the plagues. They're my creations, and I love them, but I want others to love them and glory in them, too. But I am the god of Decay, and nobody really likes stuff rotting, especially when it's a deity." Nurglings started dribbling out of Nurgle's tear ducts.
"Have you actually asked people about that, or are you making unfair assumptions about yourself?"
"Well... I mean...The other three say it all the time. Khorne calls me 'Fatty McOpenagoddamnedwindow,' Tzeentch puts cleaning products in my potions, and Slaanesh just looks at me and shakes hyr head. And the mortal races don't want anything to do with something that stinks like death. I don't belong anywhere." Nurgle wrapped the man in a massive hug. Puss, nurglings, and tears were streaming down the hefty chaos god's face like slimy waterfalls. And yet the stranger's sweater was unstained.
"That's not true, neighbor. You have a great imagination, and you actually do care about things. You just shouldn't go forcing your love onto others. Everyone has their place in this world, and when you find yours, people will genuinely like and love you."
"But what?" asked the plague god, his eyes filled with a wary hope. "What can I do? I am the god of decay."
"Tell me: your garden, did it spring up overnight?"
"No, of course not, it took a lot of effort. I had to plant the seeds, provide the nutrients..."
"And what did you use for those nutrients?"
"Umm...pieces of myself that fell off, some failed experiments that I left rotting in the sun..."
"Compost. Lots of people use compost for fertilizer in their gardens."

>>27836841
"Oh...Why didn't I think of that?!" The Plaguefather's eyes lit up. "I could totally get into gardening."
"And your imagination, neighbor: You could do a lot with that. Write or tell stories, come up with arrangements for boquets or gardens. Maybe even run a role-playing game."
"You think so?"
The Neighbor nodded. "But first, friend, you need to make amends."
"You're right. I do. I'll pull my warriors back from any world they're attacking. I'll work out some ways for them to put their talents to different uses."
"That's only half of what I was getting at, Neighbor. There's someone right here that you need to make amends with." Nurgle's gaze tracked in the direction that the Neighbor's finger pointed, to Isha's cage. "You've done a lot to this poor woman, don't you think it's time to set her free?"
"You're right..." Nurgle shuffled over to the cage, his shoulders slumped. He reached down and unlocked the door. Isha, having watched and listened to the whole conversation, stared at both Nurgle and the Neighbor in amazement. Nurgle reached in and pulled Isha out of the cage, helping her stay on her feet.
"Don't you have something to say to her?" the Neighbor offered.
Nurgle colored slightly at this, suddenly nervous. He coughed and ran a hand over his scalp.
"Erm...Isha...I'm sorry for keeping you prisoner all these thousands of years. I just...I needed someone to talk to that wasn't an aspect of myself, someone I could share my new ideas with." Fresh tears flooded down his face. "I-I'm so sorry."
Isha looked at the sobbing plague god, then at the Neighbor, who motioned with his head toward Nurgle, who had sunk to his knees, body wracked with sobbing fits.
The Eldar Goddess stepped shakily towards the Plaguefather, and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Um...There, there," she whispered, "let it all out."

>>27837266
The god of decay(and now gardening), rose to his feet and hugged Isha, alternating between sobbing and apologizing. Isha, dumbfounded, stared at the Neighbor.
The Neighbor mouthed "He needs support, he needs more than one friend."
Isha warily put a hand on the immense god's back. "It's...it's okay...I can forgive you."
Nurgle pulled back, and locked eyes with the mother of the Eldar. "R-really?" he sniffled.
"You did save me from the depredations of the newly born Slaanesh." Isha thought for a moment. "Also...If you are going to make gardening your new forte, you might need a helping hand. And, believe it or not, I know my way around gardens."
"You...you'd help me?"
"Indeed."
"Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" Nurgle spun to face the Neighbor. "And thank YOU-err...umm...I'm afraid I never got your name."
"Please, I am just your Neighbor."

>>27837444
Aaaand, that's all I got. glad I got it all down before this went full sage. HOpe

>>27837454
*Hope you guys enjoyed it...

>>27804696
That is because you are one of the uninitiated.

The corruption of this world blinds you to the truth.

>>27837467
T'was beautiful. If anyone still on the thread could cap it I would be full of joy.

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>>27838814
Here ya go.

>>27841677
You missed the last bit

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>>27841677
edited FTFY

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How come almost everyone in this thread is dead, except for the cooks?
Carl Sagan - Dead
Mr. Rogers - Dead
Steve Irwin - Dead
Bob Ross - Dead
Julia Childs - Dead

>>27843138
They're not dead, just ascended.

Goodbye ye wonderfoul thread, may you rest well in the memory of sup/tg/ archive.

As always the writefaggotry around here was amazing, kudos to all writefags

>>27843138
Bill Nye is also still alive.

This needs a second thread, with the screencaps posted, the archive. and mostly: LOTS AND LOTS OF DRAWFAGS.

>>27845646
This
The Order Gods demand their drawfags