>>27886400
[X] Remove the iron mask and heal her wounds.

>>27886532
Well that was strange

>>27886592
It may seem like we are doing something "nice" but really it's just to get her to stop screaming and we won't have to heal her later if we chose to have more fun with her.

>>27886649
I meant 4chan going offline for like two minutes

>>27886532
Agreeing with this

>>27886674
Did it go offline? Huh, strange as it didn't do anything for me and hopefully it isn't a sign that the site will be going down....again.

>>27886400
>[] remove the iron mask from her face
Lets try to corrupt her and make her our willing slave.

>>27886737
>Corrupt a demon

>>27886846
Isn't Viviane the fae we bound to our house?

>>27886899
We bound her to us. Missy is the demon and our herald

>>27886899
Oh right, I got confused. She's just an evil fae, not a demon.

>>27886737
OH ME ITS LIKE THOSE SHITTY SONGS EVERYONE FALLS IN LOVE WITH DURING THE SUMMER THEN REGRET EVER LISTENING TO. HAVE TO STOP IT HAVE TO MAKE IT STOP.......these whimpers are quite nice however. in your hand is a sap covered iron mask, in front of you is Viviane, looking rather wilted. Oh she reminds you of that flower you used to have, it ate people, it starved to death, you miss chompy. Well this can't do, if you leave her like this you'll be reminded of chompy and be ever so slightly depressed for the rest of the day. You touch her face, it like the mask covered in sap, though it's mixed with honey. She starts to convulse as you spare a bit of your power to repair the damages you dealt unto her. She's still crying, for some reason. Must be a girl thing.
*knock knock knock*

"Visitors, at this hour?" You ask yourself "How peculiar"

pick a number
[]1
[]2
[]3
[] 4

Have our minions go do boring minion stuff, like recruitment and expanding our network of businesses paying protection.

>>27887010
5

>>27887041
that is not an option Mr. Anderson

>>27887010
3
because captcha said so

>>27887010
>4

>>27887052
e^(i*pi)+3 then

>>27887010
[X]1

>>27887119
a 3 way tie once more?

>>27887142
Then I chose...3!

>>27887066
Well it would be impolite to keep guest waiting.
*knock knock knock!!!*

"Coming" You say as you close the door to Viviane's room. Oh you do so ever hope its girl scouts, you would literally kill Mr.Fritz for a Thinmint, of course you would then raise him and eat said thinmints in front of him, because everyone loves thinmints, and if this proves wrong you could just make a plague or

"HEAAAATHAN" The armoured man in front of you screams
roll1d100 to avoid decapitation

Rolled 86

>>27887235
"Not so!"

Rolled 27

>>27887235
A champion i presume? Probably of Justice? Maybe Justice's dad?

Rolled 82

>>27887235
Heathing up what? The oven? The engine? choo choo

Rolled 74

>>27887235

Rolled 61

>>27887235
I'm sorry, there is no Ethan here. You must have the wrong address.

Rolled 97

Now, what should we do to that knight in shining armor? I vote we turn him to a litteral puppet. Missy is a young kid and she needs toys for her mental and emotional development.

>>27887254
You duck down. The Zweihander lodges in the cottage wall, which spews forth some sort of foul black liquid, well that's going to be a bother to clean up.

"Heathing up what, the oven?" You ask remembering his type hate being toyed with "The engine perhaps?".

"FOUL BEAST" He shouts swing again. Ow, well that would have killed you if you weren't a god.

"You tore my shirt you shit" You say boxing him in the ear. He responds to this by trying to break your skull with his hilt. You respond to this with a swift kick to the groin.
Your foe falls to the ground, crotch plate dented.

"You have no honor" The man gasps out.

"Honor is for poor people" You reply "Though I guess I am technically poor, and you just made me remember this fact". You give him a swift kick to the helmet.

what do you do to your visitor
[] give him tea
[] Miss smith do you have a can opener?
[] A roommate for Viviane?
[] SACRIFICE HIM TO YOURSELF
[]other

Rolled 3

>>27887437
>[]other

>>27887433
Turn him into a puppet.

>>27887437
[X] Ask Miss smith for a can opener and set him up in a nice place next to Viviane.

Rolled 98

>>27887437
[] A roommate for Viviane?
[] SACRIFICE HIM TO YOURSELF
We need information on our ever increasing enemies. And I'm sure Vivian has some anger issues to work out don't you?

>>27887437
>other
Drag him to the altars and ask who he works for.

Rolled 15

>>27887499
Drag him to the altars and make him marry Miss Smith.

Fixed that for you.

File: 1382485008162.gif-(493 KB, 496x279, crying.gif)

493 KB GIF

>>27887530
I approve

>>27887476
it seems to be a tie between altars and torture room

Rolled 91

>>27887574
Why do half and half? One half of him to the altars and one half to the torture room.

>>27887574
Lets mind control him and send him to the alters.

Rolled 18

>>27887574
Eh, to the altars.
Shotgun wedding
When the other gods are wondering why do you do this, just tell them that "Because I love weddings."

Rolled 48

>>27887574
Torture then sacrifice
Since we can't do it the other way around

>>27887588
>>27887602
>>27887610
>>27887612
Shall I simply roll a 1d4?

Rolled 53

>>27887610
>Shotgun wedding
What? Surely you mean...MINIGUN WEDDING!

>>27887629
Okay, I now support the minigun wedding.

"For attacking me in my own halls, I shall condemn you to the worst fate that a man can endure."
"Dysfunctional Marriage"

Rolled 31

>>27887650
If we had an evil rating, this would probably make us jump...ONE WHOLE PERCENTILE!

Rolled 9

>>27887628
Seems forced marriage won this day
I vote Viviane as the Bride to be instead of Miss Smith, or Missy just to fuck with everyone
Scratch that definitely marry the guy to Missy

Rolled 97

>>27887698
>Scratch that definitely marry the guy to Missy
This went from silly to hilarious.

>>27887698
Make a paladin marry a demon? GENIUS!

Rolled 3

>>27887711
Wasn't that the point of this whole quest?

>>27887717
Okay, I can't help but support this.

>>27887692
"I'LL JUST GET A DIVORCE!"
"THEN SHE TAKES HALF YOUR PROPERTY AND YOU HAVE TO PAY ALIMONY!"
"NO! PLEASE, ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

Rolled 30

>>27887717
A demon stuck in loli form.

If he's a man of the faith, he's gonna have a hard time escaping that one.

>>27887711
YOU ARE A GENIOUS!
She is underage and a demon.
This can only end in hilarity.

Scratch Viviane, this is comedy gold.

>>27887750
could you turn off the dice before you hurt someone?

Rolled 19

>>27887698
I can just see it now. Abomination in a suit, Mr. Fritz as best man. Viviane and Miss Smith as brides maids, and Bethany as the father of the bride who is clearly the most pissed off person there. Then the groom is hogtied to a stand and...
who would be the priest?

>>27887711
Top this all up with transforming the paladin into a middle aged salaryman with a dead-end job.

>>27887795
Stagmother

I am picturing Mustache Twirler nearly crying from the laugher in front of his monitor.

>>27887795
The house.

>>27887795
Justice.

>>27887795
How about that fat henchman guy with bellowing voice?

>>27887826
Okay, the house is a pretty good choice.

>>27887711
YES
OUR ASSHOLERY WILL KNOW NO BOUNDS!

We gotta find one of them old fashioned Negro priests that sing gospel with the choir with swing.

>>27887814
We could offer him a job...as our human ressource agent!

Rolled 51

>>27887839
Well his last name is BLESSED. I suppose he is the most holy person we know
>>27887835
but the idea of roping the other gods into this debacle is too good

>>27887888
Yeah. We could ask the rotten lady to preside over it for hilarity.

>>27887878
No, we should make him be like the human resources guy who is in charge of keeping up a friendly work enviroment.

>>27887888
>after this goda re literally left wondering what the fuck is wit this guy and how in the hell is this shit going on
>all the henchmen are wondering what exactly they got into
>sad paladin is sad
>were off laughing into the night sky riding a train.

>>27887888
please turn off the dice.

>>27887920
If he does his job poorly, he will be showered with complaints and consumed by stress.

>>27887923
>QM is depressed because he keeps making heroes to our villain and we keep doing retarded things to them like getting them married to our henchmen and whatnot.

>>27887966
1st rule of GMing: Any enemy you let within weapons range of a PC can and probably will die, even if you thought you made it impossible.

>>27887931
Please? On 4chan?
Just for you

So, to recap:

We marry the Paladin to Missy the loli elder demon by force

Abomination in a suit, Mr. Fritz as best man. Viviane and Miss Smith as brides maids, and Bethany as the father of the bride

Presided over by the house or a god.

We then givethe paladin a job in human ressources for our organization.

>>27887795
You suppose you could wed him to your favourite corpse, but she appears to be asleep in what looks like left over Devilz. Viviane has let to fix your suit. And you doubt Mr.Fritz would enjoy the companion ship of this man. You remove his helmet, revealing chestnut brown hair, and a classic mustache goatee combo.
"Missy" you say snapping your fingers, causing the small demon to appear "Meet your new husband".

"You are a cruel man" Missy says. You notice she is wearing a nightgown, despite the sun still hanging high in the sky.

"YOU FIEND" the man shouts "MARRYING OFF YOUR OWN DAUGHTER". The man spits on you. You wipe the bloody mouth juice from your face as your eye twitches.
what do you do
[] continue with the ceremony, marriage is punishment enough
[] NO ONE SPITS ON ME
[] Well the groom shall share the punishment of the bride (aka loli lesbian wedding)
[] other

>>27888017
We need a ring bearer and a ring

>>27888027
[X] continue with the ceremony, marriage is punishment enough


It's going to be bad enough when we give him a job.

>>27888027
[] Well the groom shall share the punishment of the bride (aka loli lesbian wedding)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>27888027
>[x] continue with the ceremony, marriage is punishment enough

Well, she isn't out daughter technically.
but I know /tg/ will choose the loli lesbian wedding.

>>27888027
>Hit him in face with cane then continue with the ceremony, marriage is punishment enough
>I'll let that one slide 'cause you're about to become part of the family.

>>27888027
Inform him that she's actually a demon, continue with wedding.

>>27888062
it appears you are wrong good sir

>>27888066
I vote this

>>27888087
Sometime I prefer being wrong.

We indeed need a ring. Lets make him steal one from a local jewelry store. The ring bearer will be none other than...the abomination!

>>27888027
"Just for that, you'll get no Bachelor party."
[] continue with the ceremony, marriage is punishment enough

We should make enchanted rings that prevent the two from ever being further than 10 meters from each other.

>>27888210
Or worst, a ring that make them listen to the thoughts of each other.

>>27888210
Or that force them to obey us. Or make the paladin actually love her cuz that would really mess with him

Shave his moustache for spitting on us.
"You sir do not deserve such facial hair."

>>27888243
HOW DELIGHTFULLY VILLANOUS!

File: 1382487525354.jpg-(74 KB, 1024x723, shave_by_orangeorangesmax(...).jpg)

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>>27888255

>>27888083
You know, maybe we should keep that surprise for their honeymoon.

>>27888083
"Oh no" You laugh "She isn't my daughter, she's a demon who made a similar mistake to what you just did". The knight's eyes widen with horror.

"Yes I could give you the same punishment" You say twirling your superior mustache "but I'll let it slide, but if you do it again you better get used to frilly little dresses and dolls".

"I've battle the hordes of hell" the man says as you drag him to the altar room "and I have never seen a being so disgusting as yourself".

"Thank you" you say "By the way welcome to the family, even if we aren't related by blood, I still treat everyone who follows me as my own mother did, as demeaning as possible". You set him up upon your altar with a rather angry looking missy, before realizing you need more people, to make it seem more offical and less creepy.

"Mr. Fritz" You call out.

"NO" He calls back "....AAAAAAAAAARGAH GET OUT OF MY HEAD, FINE I'LL BE THE BEST MAN FOR YOUR CREEPY DEMON WEDDING".

"Voice, bring Viviane and rouse Miss smith" you command.

"At once sir" The voice says, the antlered lady falling from the ceiling and Miss smith rising from the ground.

"MASTER" A familiar voice cries "THE DEVILZ ARE NO MORE".

"Good abomination and how are you fitting in my house?" You ask "no matter, get a suit on and....where did you get a suit that size?"

"I found it" Abomination answers.

"....Ok" You say, twirling your mustache at who would leave such a large suit lying around. rings will have to come later as you simply can't be bothered to go out to fetch them, partially because your guts are hanging out, mostly because you need a new change of clothes as these ones are covered in blood.
Everything seems ready for an impromptu wedding, hell, Miss Smith even brought snacks in the form of human flesh, though she appears to still be passed out in said flesh.
Anything you wish to say before you marry this poor sod off
[] Oh by the way I lied about giving you a second chance
[] *cry*
[] write in

>>27888349
Their honeymoon is gonna be helping us kill the King guy

>>27888374
>[] *cry*
Its so beautiful!
Lets get our minigun out.

>>27888374
"This wedding will be held necromantic-style. Enjoy your heathen wedding. By the way, who sent you?"

>>27888374
[X] *cry*

It's the only choice.

>>27888417
This. Then coerce one of the other gods to be the priest to further make this official. And wake miss Smith up

>>27888374
"Everything ready? Groom, Bride? Justice?"

>>27888485
If justice is the priest, the paladin will have no choice but to actually comply.

>>27888374
>[] *cry*
"I simply love weddings"

>>27888500
Yes

Wait, we forgot music! We need proper wedding music! We need our skeleton musicians!

>>27888697
Voice can handle that right?

>>27888417
You begin to cry, its beautiful, you simply must bring out your minigun.
"Really boss?" Mr fritz asks

"Yes, its either this or the undead hordes Mr.fritz" You reply "I love weddings and would rather not dirty this one with the smell of more than one rotting corpse". That shut him up.....Wait you need a priest, seeing as you are not a licensed one....let.

"Oooooh the wedding's ruined" You cry, posing dramaticly

"WHAT WEDDING" a feminine voice yells suddenly

"Oh hello there justice" you say to the armored woman in front of you "You see this fellow here has decided to marry my herald".

"NO I HAVEN'T" He cries out "THIS FOUL CREATURE WISHES ME TO WED HIS PET DEMON".

"She has feelings you know" You shout, pointing your minigun at him.

"What are feelings?" Missy asks.

"Damn" you say.

"Wait so you wish to marry one of my paladins" Justice says "to a loli demon?"

"Precisely" You answer.

"Well it is within your realm" Justice says.

"MILADY" the man cries out

"EXCELLENT" You shout "No lets begin, while I do quite enjoy weddings I have things to do".

"...idiot" justice says

"What?" you ask.

"Nothing".

Several hours later. You did not expect the other five to appear, or Vorg to make such delicious meat pie. That was quite the wedding. Currently Mr. Fritz is vommiting outside, Miss Smith is asleep still, Viviane is in her room. the man and missy are the only ones in the room with you now
what do you say
[] You know that does look creepy, let me fix it, hold still
[] *blaaaaaaaaaaaaargh* too much meat pie
[] Well off with you, you have horrible half demons to spawn
[] write in

>>27888745
>Well off with you, you have horrible half demons to spawn.

>>27888745
>[] Well off with you, you have horrible half demons to spawn
Suggest a good fetish store too.

>>27888745
Wait, was JUSTICE-

Our Justice of the Peace?

[] You know that does look creepy, let me fix it, hold still

>>27888745
[X]Well off with you, you have horrible half demons to spawn

Also inform him of his new job.

>>27888836
Oh yes, his calm and friendly atmosphere maintenance job in human ressources.

>>27888745
What do people think of ordering Missy to go out and find us cultists? Maybe we can even give her a finder's fee of like 10% to help motivate her.

>>27888836
And inform him of his new name.
Or ask him his name.

>>27888883
She will be busy with her honeymoon dude.

Lets ask Miss Smith to do that.

>>27888927
A demon is probably better at the job though.

"Oh, by the way, you can no longer be a Paladin, it's too dangerous seeing as you've got a family to feed."
"From now on, you'l work in..."
"HUMAN RESOURCES!"
Paladin: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

>>27888789
"Well off with you, you have horrible half demons to spawn" You say. the man stares blankly ahead.

"Is that even possible" Missy asks.

"Most likley" You answer "also be a dear and find cultist to worhship me".

"But you just" Missy begins

"MULTITASK" you shout as you storm out of the room "AND DON'T DIRTY MY ALTAR". and with that you slam the door behind you with a huff. And now you are bored.
what do you do
[] explore the forest
[] go to the city (alone or with someone)
[] gods can shapeshift right?
[] other

>>27888972
We should offer Missy a camera as a wedding present.

>[] go to the city (alone or with someone)
Go to the city with Viviane!

>>27888972
>explore the forest
There has to be more fun stuff.

>>27888972
>[] other
Show this "King" fellow the difference betwist a king and a god

>>27888972
Gods can shapeshift right?

>>27888972
>other
our suit is still dirtied, check on Vivians progress

>>27888972
Go into the city with Viviane. Show her the gentleman side of our Gentleman Villain persona and take her out for ice cream - classy ice cream.

>>27889022
Might as well.

>>27889052
>>27889009
and no one cares bethany is still nearly cut in half

>>27888972
>[] gods can shapeshift right?
Turn into a the guy who just spat you and commit a series of crimes.
Let's make him a wanted man.

>>27889074
isn't that fashionable nowadays?

>>27889074
Bethany doesn't seem to care, why should we? Now, if her were like "OOooh! My concentrated villainy is leaking out! WOE!" Then I'd worry.

>>27889088
How about take Viv around town while wearing the newly wed's face (not his actual face)

>>27889074
Wait, when did that happen?

>>27889074
We could always do something awesome with the guts, like laying a railroad track. Cultists would love that and write it down in the "Unholy book of villainy"

>>27889150
Well, we could do that too, but raw faces are just gross.

>>27889150
Sounds great, as long we also put on a purple pimp costume.

>>27889159
When Bethany said ow when the paladin tried to kill hom

>>27889188
Oh, missed that bit.

>>27889188
O heal that asap

>>27889188
Remember when we used necromancy on our blood? Can we do that to our guts?

>>27889256
Yes

Rolled 47

>>27889293
I vote to do that, and here's a roll incase you go for it

Rolled 46

>>27889256
>Remember when we used necromancy on our blood? Can we do that to our guts?
Necromancy...on...our...guts....SPIDER GUTS!

Rolled 70

>>27889325
I was thinking more like the moray eel in the sea king from One Punch Man

Rolled 86

>>27889358
Alright. Lets just not forget to tell the Paladin about his new job.

So I was thinking, we're a god of villainy right? Well we need some way to evaluate our followers. So I came upon the idea of villain stats, kinda like baseball stats. Here's what I've got so far
Thwart %
Showdown % (% of heroes who make it past your goons to fight you.)
Deathtrap % (Anything over % is considered great)
Conversion % (% of attempts to convert a hero or sidekick to the side of evil that actually works)

File: 1382491026531.jpg-(249 KB, 860x1236, nopm_024_058.jpg)

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>>27889358

>>27889178
And suddenly, you have an evil villainous idea
"Come Viviane" You say "I'll like to show you how humans live"
"Human?" She says like a tired child "I hate them".
You smile as You replace your face with that of your newest friend. better cut off all other options
"EYE WITNESS REPORT GREGORY FILAGAN, THE MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELOR IN THE TOWN IS THE PERPETRATOR OF THESE HEINOUS CRIMES"
"MERCY MEEEEERCY"
"I must ask, which of your children do you love more"
"LET GO OF MY WIFE YOU BASTARD"
"I'm just having a little having a little fun, is that a train I hear"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"
"Oh stop whining, you can still live normally with only one leg".
"GREG PLEASE, WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR YEARS"
"We were friends, then you deflowered my sister"
"SISTER WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT"
"don't you lie this fine woman here is your sister no?"
"HER TEETH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER TEETH"
"I granted them sentience"
"BUT WHY"
"No reason besides it amused me, now stop struggling, the sharks hate it when you do so"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
"oh they're just zombies"
"MONSTER"
"Yes, smart man, now lets see what happens when we increase the voltage"
"DEMON"
"You want to see demons?"
"BASTARD"
"Do not insult my mother, you worm"
"HERETIC"
"How can a god be a heretic"
"TRAITOR"
"I hated all of you"
"THE MISTRESS WILL JUDGE YOU FALLEN BROTHER"
"you have to catch me first"
"CATCH GREGORY, HE'S BETRAYED THE ORDER, STRIKE HIM DOWN".

well that was a fun distraction
What do you do now
[]return to your original form (free action)
[] explore the forest
[] explore the town
[] tell Greggory what you did
[] other

>>27889435
could you explain how it works?
I currently just raise your renown, evilness and sanity meter whenever I feel it appropriate

Rolled 53

>>27889483
Go to the train station

Lets not tell Gregory what we did, for hilarity.

>>27889483
[]return to your original form (free action)
[] tell Greggory what you did
We'll keep him safe if he does his new job well
>>27889358
Then this please

>>27889559
uuurgh

>>27889483
>return to your original form (free action)
>tell Greggory what you did
Just so he knows who he belongs to and he can't do shit about it.

>>27889483
[X] Return to our normal form and explore the town.
Time to go from building to building, shop to shop, office to office, and tell the people the good news. That they are under our protection.

Also, Don't tell him.

>>27889505
It's more like our system of judging the various villains on the planet.
Thwart % is the % of times you get thwarted or otherwise stopped from carrying out your evil schemes. A low number would indicate competence
Showdown is the out of every 100 heroes who show up to strike you down, how many do you have to deal with personally. A low number means you have capable minions who can deal with them.
Deathtrap. Out of every 100 times you strap a hero into an inescapable deathtrap, how many times do they actually die. This number is usually very low for some reason.
Conversion %. Out of every 100 offers to the hero to join the dark side, how many of them actually say yes?


Think of it like baseball statistics. I honestly made them up on the spot, but I thought it would be a way to institutionalize villainy.

>>27889681
I don't know much about baseball

>>27889589
We can not do it. It's honestly kinda wierd.
>>27889666
I like this

Rolled 84

>>27889666
Spead the good news about us!
And we should go buy that banana republic store.

>>27889666
As a villain follow the triple 6

>>27889701
To make a long story short, in baseball various players have a bewildering variety of statistics, percentages and various other math things that supposedly show how good they are. I was just seeing Bethany doing something similar for villains just for shit's 'm giggles.

>>27889483
>[]return to your original form (free action)
take over some crematoriums we need an undead army

>>27889666
The triple six has spoken and has my vote.

>>27889707
You duck into an alley way and return to your original form
however you can't decide wether or not you should tell Greggory. You decide against if after watching some of his comrades curse his name you toy with their rage filled minds to make them see him dissapear into a hell gate of some sorts. You go from building to building, offering your protection, Of course they do not know it was you who so recently set up those little puzzles to stop the fire from consuming their stores, or the buzz saws, or the crocodiles you found in a dumpster.
However some are empty due to your rampage.
Businesses gained. Mickey's diner, Kain's canes, two strange smelling bars, Before dawn club, and a jewelry store who's name is in french (who gave you two wedding rings for nothing, possibly in an attempt to have you spare the owner after they refused you the first time"
What do you do
[] Mess with someone
[] explore the forest/city
[]Who is that fine dressed man staring at you
[] other

>>27889912
>[]Who is that fine dressed man staring at you

Rolled 33

>>27889912
>[]Who is that fine dressed man staring at you
Maybe he needs a job

>>27889912
>Who is that fine dressed man staring at you
Maybe a worth opponent?

File: 1382492799544.png-(90 KB, 550x808, Train Emblem.png)

90 KB PNG

>>27889912
I suggest we leave a card at the locations that are empty - maybe something like this.

>>27889912
going for a walk
be back in around 40 or so minutes
perhaps 20 minutes

>>27890020
>>27890020
Back

>>27889912
>[]Who is that fine dressed man staring at you

>>27890480
Welcome Back! Things up and died the exact second you left, so hopefully folks will come back.

>>27890501
I'm here

Rolled 14

>>27890480
Back? Good.

Now lets discuss what we could do. How about we buy the train station and start our own tobacco brand?

>>27889954
"And who is that finely dressed man staring at me?" You ask

"Dick Vilian Bethany Dastardly the third" He asks.

"The one and only" you reply

"The king wishes to have words with you" The man replies

"Who, oh you mean my next victim" You answer "aahahah, only joking, now where will we be meeting?"

"You won't" He says. You are now staring down the barrel of a gun
what do you do
[] do not play around (aka nightmare mode)
[] let him shoot you, and then laugh
[] turn him into a little girl
[] other
I think I'll be stopping soon,

>>27890020
I think we should go see Miss Smith's mother.

>>27890572
That is a good idea
perhaps

>>27890570
>[] turn him into a little girl

He is being rather rude

Rolled 17

>>27890570
Put our finger down the barrel of the gun, cartoon style.

>>27890570
>Do not play around (aka nightmare mode)
This guy means business... or he just doesn't have any intel.

>>27890570
[] turn him into a little girl and send him back to his king with a message. "Rather rude of you chap"

>>27890570
Little girl.

>>27890605
I like this idea.

>>27890613
This option is perfect.

>>27890605
Sounds like a plan to me.

>>27890613
>>27890605
In combination is topultimate

We should probably find out if this king has a daughter. Once we seize control of the city we can kidnap her and make Justice jealous.

>>27890613
>we buy the t
this

>>27890613
>>27890628
You put your finger in the barrel. the gun explodes with an almighty bang.

"What the fu" The rude bastard begins before you wrap your hands around his neck and dig your fingers into his flesh.

"Oh stop squirming" You laugh as he pisses himself in fear as blood trickles down his neck "I imagine it doesn't hurt that much". His eyes beg you not to kill him, to let him go, to let him spread your tale. You suppose you could, but he isn't worthy of the hair under his lip. You force your will and power into his being, molding it like clay. And you must admit it is far more interesting to do this when you can actually see what's happening
to see him shrink and his bones snap and heal into a new shape, a new life. His suit now hanges loosely on hi...her frame. She looks terrified at the big monster standing over her.

"Tell the king this" You say patting her on the head "Rather rude of you chap, now run along"
and with that the little girl runs away, her wails of terror reminding you of the good old days.
so the king tried to have you killed, good, he's afraid
What do you do
[] Go have some ice cream
[] Go and give the king a visit, perhaps have some tea, you wish to see his terror
[] Take fluffy for a walk
[] other

>>27890747
>[] Go have some ice cream

Rolled 16

>>27890747
>[] Go have some ice cream
LETS SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

>>27890747
>[x] Take fluffy for a walk
Talk to him about what it means to be a god's pet.

>>27890747
I think we might be in the capitol city. Also pretty sure this is a setting where swords and guns are both equally effective because Reasons.

>>27890747
>Take fluffy for a walk

>>27890793
ah, meant to quote >>27890734

>>27890747
>>27890747
[X Take fluffy for a walk.

You know...we haven't visited that old lady yet have we? And we sent one of our henchmen there a while back...

>>27890809
Ooooh, good point. Plus, Villains are all about kidnapping princesses! Even if it's not technically correct in this case.

Rolled 71

>>27890829
Lets visit the old lady with fluffy.

>>27890829
this

>>27890829
You decided to Visit Granny Smith. It would a nice walk, and fluffy needs to exercises.

"Come fluffy" You say to your fierce beast. he barks happily. The town still seems terrified, perhaps it was the gun shot, or the fact you look little better than your zombies currently. maybe its because you are currently in torn up, blood soaked threads that used to be your favorite suit. You'll give those knights one thing, they know how to wield their swords, you briefly wonder a way to plan their downfall while being able to make that statement. Soon you stand in front of the card shop. Your henchman is in a pool of his own vomit, And standing on top of him is a rather sour looking Granny Smith.

"You" She says pointing her hand at you "Do you realize what hell you unleashed upon me today".

"No" you answer. She points at the armored figure rocking slowly back and forth.

"Ahh" You say "well it looks like you dealt with it, no please get off my henchmen".

"I know where you came from" She says "though how you ended up here, I may never know, so tell me what an old cartoon villain is doing turning my dear Matilda into a man eating monster".
What do you say
[] I don't know what you mean
[] Being god
[]Whatever the fuck I want
[] write in

Rolled 81

>>27890946
>[] write in
Well my dear lady, cartoon villainy of course.

>>27890946
>[] I don't know what you mean

We simply gave her a new vocation after that unfortunate buffoon shuffled off her mortal coils.

>>27890946
>[] write in
I couldn't find a convenient train track.

>>27890946
>whatever the fuck i want

>>27890979
Add that her dear Matilda was already dead when we found her and that she was the only one to retain her mind.

Rolled 7

>>27890946
Well, we accidently kinda summoned her back from the dead accidently along with many other people. She actually awakened when she ate her old boyfriend who killed her.

>>27891045
>>27890979
>>27891042
These plus "I might be able to fix that man eating part, maybe. Necromantic modification on the already living dead is a finicky business. Plus, I'm not entirely certain why she's sentient in the first place, so I'd have to do some prep work."

>>27890946
You place your hand on your neck, looking comically aghast
"I should have you know I Did it to give the girl a chance to avenge herself" You say "You should also be glad she kept her mind, and ate her boyfriend, the brown one, you know, the one who killed her". Granny smith stares at you angrily.

"Still doesn't explain why The sociopath villain with mother issues who used to get foiled by Gruntar and fantastic man is standing in front of my shop" She says. Your eye twitches at the mention of those...THOSE BUFFOONS.

"I gave her a job" You say as calmly as possible

"As your slave" she says.

"I gave her a second chance" you reply.

"As a monster" she says "and you still haven't answered the first part of my question".

"What I've always done" You answer "cartoon villany"

"Then tell me why you've been tampering with forces better left alone" she asks.

"Because it lets me win" You say poking her in the chest.

"Oh I expected you to say being a god" She laughed "Most new gods tend to say something like that, never grasping they could be killed with just a bit more effort than the average mortal".

"Well I'm doing that too" You say "Just held my first marriage".

"You haven't changed at all Bethany" She laughs
what do you do
[] grab your henchman and leave
[] The henchman has failed you, how do you punish him
[] offer her your protection
[] leave

>>27891220
>Grab your henchman and leave

Rolled 81

>>27891220
>[] offer her your protection
In a completely unironic way, lets offer her our protection for her and her shop for the wonderful price of free. I like that old lady.

>>27891220

>[] grab your henchman and leave

"You've changed madame, you look 20 years younger than my first visit. Come now henchman Number 75, your work here is done."

>>27891220
She's still stronger than us... probably.
>Offer her to join the party, so she can look after her granddaugher. Convince her that joining us benefits both her and Miss. Smith

>>27891220
>[] The henchman has failed you, how do you punish him
Turn him into a gargoyle that will defend her shop so she doesn't have to deal with any...issues that come up again. (And if he happens to spy on her for us, so much the better.)

>>27891220
Grab our henchman and half heartedly ask if she would be interested in our protection.

>>27891313
You grab your henchman

"Can I interest you in prot" You begin

"No" She says "I'd rather not pay for mutated sharks being kept in my shop". You raise your finger to protest.

"Or resurrected dinosaurs" She says "or genetically modified sheep, no not even cats the size of a building".

"Damn" You say bowing "Well then madame, I'll be off, though We simply must have tea some time, I'll bring your granddaughter along, it will be fun". She glares at you
roll1d100 to avoid being overtaken by fear

Rolled 44

>>27891389
The only woman we fear is our mother.

Rolled 54

>>27891389
Fuck.. fuck... fuck... fuck...

Rolled 42

>>27891389
TEA TIME MOTHERFUCKER!

Rolled 75

>>27891389

Rolled 21

>>27891389

Rolled 3

>>27891389
Courage through mustache.

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359 KB GIF

>>27891446
You see it, Horror upon horror, terror unimaginable. You grit your teeth and shut your eyes. You've dealt with your mother, nothing is more terrifying than that thrice dammed woman. Besides you are a gooooooHHHH VILE SELF WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THINGS
RUN JUST RUN. TAKE THE HENCHMAN, TAKE THE HENCHMAN NOT ME. NO STOP IT UYRN GET OUT OF OJOIH MY EYES IKABUGEFIV YOU DAMMED MONSTER. NO MOMMY NOT THE CHAIR, NOOOOT THE CHAIR MOMMY!!!!!
When your eyes open, you find yourself hiding behind henchman no 75, Who appears to have pissed himself. What a noble man, sacrificing himself to save his master from facing down fear itself, though he appears to still be alive, give him a day or two, he'll be fine
what do you
[] Run as far away as you can from the shop
[] eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy
[] take your anger out on the henchman via punishment
[] other

>>27891580
>eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy

Rolled 5

>>27891580
>[] eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy
While listening to "Friday".

Rolled 69

>>27891580
>[X] eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy

>>27891580
[] eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy

Rolled 85

>>27891580
>[] eat ice cream in an ice cold bathtub while sobbing with Fluffy

>>27891580
So was that a no to tea then?

File: 1382499276701.gif-(985 KB, 160x120, EVIL.gif)

985 KB GIF

>>27891655
"I am terribly sorry, but that master has requested to not be viewed at this moment" the voice says "So please have this video of his exploits today"

What do you do after being pathetic
[] explore forest
[] stare Angrily at Miss smith
[] lolifiy more people because by yourself is it funny
[] Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action
[] I need a suit

>>27891713
>[] Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action
>[] I need a suit

>>27891713
>Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action)
>I need a suit... a magical one that wont tear as easily.

Rolled 41

>>27891713
>[] Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action
>[] I need a suit

Rolled 85

>>27891713
>[] Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action
Aftwerward, go find our faaaaaavorite fae and ask for our new suit.

>>27891713
>[] Now the wo.....Ok I don't think any part of my body should look like that (repair, free action
>[] I need a suit
Go and see how Vivian is doing with that suit

>>27891713
Dear you, You've had a rough day, it looks like vorg tried to eat your left leg while you were distracted with meat pies, or that may be from the explosion
no matter. your wounds stitch themselves together, By you being a god makes life easier.
You decided to check on Your favorite....
and she isn't here
oh, maybe it was a bad idea to let her out.
well no matter, she is still bound to you
what do you do
[] let her wreck havoc for a bit
[] suit now
[] other

>>27891845

>SUIT NOW.

>>27891845
>[] suit now!

Rolled 1

>>27891845
>[] suit now
[] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now [] suit now

File: 1382500051986.gif-(805 KB, 300x170, evil plan.gif)

805 KB GIF

>>27891875

Rolled 91

>>27891845
She is bound to us right? We can just talk directly into her mind. "Oh Viviane~ Where are you? I do so hope that I have a suit waiting for me as that just might make me happy and you don't want me to not be happy right?"

>>27891845
>[] suit now
And BY ME IT BETTER BE NICE, OR SHE'LL PAY!!!

Rolled 1

>>27891845
CRIT GO, SAVE US

File: 1382500227309.jpg-(13 KB, 180x157, blood eyes.jpg)

13 KB JPG

>>27891929
ehehehHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHBWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

>>27891845
>suit now
We neeeeeds it

Rolled 48

>>27891929
oh crap

File: 1382500294550.gif-(2.32 MB, 427x240, Nope nothing to see here.gif)

2.32 MB GIF

>>27891929

>>27891929
>>27891875
*bumble*
Where is ViviAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OH SWEET LORD I CAN TASTE MY BRAIN. Backlash, arcane backlash. in your minds eye flashes images of cities of glass, and mushrooms the size of skyscrapers. She's......she's escaped. The nature spirit has escaped from her bindings you placed. and she didn't even fix your coat. Not to mention she caused you a nosebleed, which is currently dirtying your causal shirt. Well this is just perfect

"Sir?" the voice asks

you need to kill something, you need to burn something, you need something to beat up.
what do you do
[]explore the forest
[] stare angrily at your torture room
[] other

>>27892053
minion lost
lady of the lake

>>27892053
>explore the forest
She has to be here somewhere!

Rolled 84

>>27892053
>>>27891875
track her scry

Rolled 83

>>27892053
>[]explore the forest
Find viviane back and make her clean our shirt

>>27892053
This is why you turn your dice of when it's not a turn for rolls.

Rolled 78

>>27892053
hunt that bitch down

>>27892053
Time to find her and not stop.

Rolled 66

>>27892114
never

>>27892093
"Sir?" The voice asks again as you bite your lip, divine blood trickling down your chin.
"Sir?" it asks again as you begin to clench and unclench your fists in rage.
"Sir please calm down" the voice begs as you begin to shake
"Sir" it begins as your scream in pure rage. You are going to find her, and you are going to beat her until she thinks the iron mask is a dammed gift
.....
You are The lady in the lake and you just heard the sound of the one being that scares you. He is coming for you.
what do you do
[] run roll1d100
[] hide roll1d100
[] find the lake roll1d100
[] Cry for help roll 1d100

Rolled 60

>>27892295
>[] stop being a bitch and fix the damn suit

Rolled 19

>>27892295
>find the lake
Muh Lake

Rolled 59

>>27892295
>[] find the lake roll1d100
Hide in the waters under the mist

Rolled 37

>>27892295
>find the lake
That's it, I'm dead

Rolled 39

>>27892295

File: 1382502033778.png-(79 KB, 536x762, Viviane.png)

79 KB PNG

Rolled 10

>>27892317
Got to find the lake, even it is better than the monster that is hunting you, gotta find the

"Ooooooooh Viviane" You hear him call out with a brief moment of dread, luckily he appears to not have found you, let "I swear I won't kill you, that would be too kind".

*snap*

"Oh there you are" He says staring at the bush you hid under. you start to run, he misses your leg by an inch. You don't stop running, despite the unnatural roaring behind you and the forest around you dieing. Your lake its right in front of you.
*crack*
you fall to the ground
what do you do roll1d100
[] crawl towards it
[] call out to your mother/father
[] fight him
[]other

Rolled 7

>>27892425
>crawl towards it
Please... no... no... nooooo!

Rolled 20

>>27892425
Crawl like the wind while calling out to your mother/father

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286 KB JPG

>>27892453
(seems like its dying shall I stop here y/n)

You crawl, ignoring the burning pain in your leg.You cry out in the language of the trees, in the language of the birds, in the language of the wind, though it all means the same thing
"DADDY HELP ME" You cry out as the black cloud of choking smoke fills the meadow just as your reach the pool of water
"Stop" a strong voice commands. You look up and see your father, The stag "Defiler".
and with that, you fall asleep on the shore of your former prison
......
infront of you is a large antlered man in a suit, he seems to contain the pent up rage of nature for you fucking with the natural way of things

>>27892597
Good cliff hanger I think, It is getting late. Thanks for running!

Rolled 20

>>27892597

yeah I think stopping now would be a good idea

>>27892629
Thank you for following
I think I'll run this on saturday
maybe friday
same time as always 5pm EST
any ideas for a description for the archive?

>>27892597
Nice. See you nex time Twirler.

>>27892640
Thank you for a wondrous adventure.

>>27892640
>Bethany learns the meaning of fear and also loses one of his most trusted companions.

>>27892657
archived
have a good night all of you