>>28013529

[X] Male. Bjorn Fellhammer.

Male, Tobias Richter.

>Male
Jonn Richter

>>28013529
[x] Male, Danby Mathiasson

>>28013529
Female
Signi Arisdottir

>>28013529
female
Freja Byrndottir

>>28013529
Male - William Strauss

[x] Female, Dagrun Kristiansen

>>28013643
This one.

>>28013557
>>28013643
>>28013656
female

Freja-Signi ("It's FS for short.") Bjornsdottir

>>28013529
[X] Female. (don't care about the name)

>>28013711

But if we're female, how are we supposed to hand out dickings to anything with a hole?

>>28013728
Rune-carved strap on of polished antler. Never leave home without it.

>>28013711
this one defs

>Female, Freja-Signi Bjornsdottir
"BJORN! WAKE UP!"
That shrill voice belongs to no other than Karl Brunson, a fellow chosen child. AESIR mandates all chosen children to share a dormitory, and by sheer bad luck you have to share it with him.
"What she says. Come on sleepyhead, wake up."
That other voice is your 'handler', an AESIR officer by the name of Helga Gunnlod. She's been sent to keep watch over you two, to her amusement, you guess. From beneath the pillow you desperately dug into last night to escape from Karl's snoring, you can see Karl staring with a smile on his face, and Helga sitting on a chair, sipping coffee, apparently oblivious to your torment.
>What do we say?
[ ] To Karl: "Are you always this loud back in your village?"
[ ] To Karl: "Shut up, or I'll kick your ass!"
[ ] To Helga: "Can't you do something about him?"
[ ] To Helga: "Five more minutes, mom..."

>>28013807

Sigh. Either we're male and go for dicking all the females, or we're female, and go for scissoring all the other females. Why not be male, and our only true love is our suit?

>>28013728
The Evangelion has a progressive knife, doesn't it?

>>28013711
No hyphenation, please. Either >>28013834 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFdammit.

>>28013834
[x] To Karl: "Are you always this loud back in your village?"

>>28013834
>[XX] To Helga: "Can't you do something about him?"
Appeal to authority.

Let's get manipulative. If she doesn't do anything, it's a show of weakness; if she does, it means we have power over her. Establish dominance, FS!

>>28013834
>[x] To Helga: "Can't you do something about him?"
"At least some kind of operation so he doesn't snore?"

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>>28013834
>[x] To Helga: "Can't you do something about him?"
>>28013862
Considering that we're clearly in Norse Mythology, I'm thinking it's probably a progressive sword.

>>28013834
[X] To Helga: "Shut up, or I'll kick your ass!"
fuk the police

>>28013942
man, hopefully a Dane axe

>>28013942
Not a progressive hammer?

>>28013880
>"At least some kind of operation so he doesn't snore?"
Ha! This. Retracting >>28013862.

>>28013942
Could go for the subtle approach and call it Æsahættr.

>>28013952
>>28013962
Those'd most likely be primary weapons, if we went melee. Where a sword can fill the role that the Prog Knife filled in NGE quite admirably.
Also,
>not Prog Spear
>not eventually wielding Gungnir when it all comes tumbling down
>>28013983
>subtle approach
>Æsahættr
I see what you did there.

>>28013962
progressive weapons need a blade. the blade vibrates very quickly, which is what makes it glow white and cut so well

a hammer would be... I dunno, electrified? pneumatic?

>>28014050
Why not both?

>>28013862
>>28013876
>>28013880
Exasperatedly, you ask Helga. "Can't you do something about him? At least some kind of operation so he doesn't snore?"
Helga replied with a shrug. "We don't do surgeries for trivial stuff." She gulps the rest of her coffee, then points her mug to an industrial-grade earmuff on top of the table. "You just got to deal with it, like I do."
As she smiles, Karl interrupts with a question, seemingly out of the blue. "Also, what's up with your name anyways? Freja-Signi? What's with the hyphen?"
He's clearly cruising for a bruising, you think.
"Are you always this loud back in your village, wherever it is?"
"Naw. Dunno. Maybe? Never paid attention that much."
>Do/Say:
[ ] Grab pillow, use it as makeshift throwing axe on Karl's face. "You deserved that!"
[ ] Groggily wake up, ignoring Karl's comments. "Whaaatever, bumpkin."
[ ] Plead to Helga. "But he's so annoying!"

>>28014086
a polearm? hammer/axe/spear head? (what's that called...) hmmm..

glaive-guisarme?

>>28014094
>[x] Plead to Helga. "But he's so annoying!"
Stupid Karl. He's such an annoying little boy.

>>28014094
[x] Groggily wake up, ignoring Karl's comments. "Whaaatever, bumpkin."
And we need to get a pair of noise-cancelling earphones.

>>28014094
>[XX] Grab pillow, use it as makeshift throwing axe on Karl's face. "You deserved that!"

Hey, is our bed in the kitchen or something? How are we waking up in our bed with a table and chair right here also?

>>28014138
Because it's in a military-style barracks that's been turned into a dorm for pilots?

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>>28014010
Er. Now that I think about it, that kind of implies that the parallel to the Mass Production Evangelions would be the Valkyrja.

(Unless the Evangelions are "Einherjar", as the title suggests, and the pilots are "Valkyries". If so: haha, poor Karl.)

>>28014094
[x] Groggily wake up, ignoring Karl's comments. "Whaaatever, bumpkin."

>>28014109
Pic related?

>>28014094
>Grab pillow, use it as makeshift throwing axe on Karl's face. "You deserved that!"

>>28014109
I actually meant making the hammer both electrified and pneumatic, like Cherno Alpha's fists.
>>28014138
>not living in a one-room home
Do you even Viking?

>>28014109
Lucern hammer

>>28014169
>>28014137
Groggily, you rise from our bed, only to remember that it is a bunk bed and you smack against Karl's bed. This triggers some more triumphant jeering from Karl, which you promptly ignore. "Whaaatever, bumpkin." As you sit on the table that's smack dab in the middle of the room, Helga comes up with your breakfast. "Come on, eat up! Cooked this just for you!"
And you stare at the plate, recognizing the contents as some kind of sandwich. As you bite, however, you just realized the filling of that sandwich: lutefisk. Helga, you lazy cook, you didn't even heat it up. But you're hungry enough to down it all in few bites and some gulps of milk. "Done with your breakfast already? Wow. Anyways, get ready soon, you two, and head to the AESIR HQ. More synch tests incoming, I suppose."
>What do you do after a quick shower?
[ ] Take the bus, alone
[ ] Ride with Helga, she owns a car
[ ] other (fill in)

>>28014326
>[ ] Ride with Helga, she owns a car

>>28014326
>Ride with Helga, she owns a car

>Eating lutefisk ever
I think I could kill my appetite to avoid it.

>>28014326
>lutefisk
For those not in the know:
Lutefisk is cod that has been dried in a lye solution. It looks like the desiccated cadavers of squirrels run over by trucks, but after it is soaked and reconstituted and the lye is washed out and it's cooked, it looks more fish-related, though with lutefisk, the window of success is small. It can be tasty, but the statistics aren't on your side. It is the hereditary delicacy of Swedes and Norwegians who serve it around the holidays, in memory of their ancestors, who ate it because they were poor. Most lutefisk is not edible by normal people. It is reminiscent of the afterbirth of a dog or the world's largest chunk of phlegm.
>[x] Ride with Helga, she owns a car
What could go wrong?

>>28014326
>lutefisk
Oh god. Seriously?

[x] Ride with Helga, she owns a car

>>28014422
And really only by midwest Lutherans.

>>28014455
>>28014422
>>28014360
>>28014340
Feeling the need to tempt the devil, as you finish dressing in your uniform you ask Helga, "Can I bum a ride on your car?"
"Oh sure, I don't mind. As long as you don't mind Karl being along for the ride."
You sigh, but keep a stiff upper lip. Hey, you can always ignore Karl, right? What can go wrong, right? You go outside the government-sponsored housing complex, looking at a Volkwagen beetle with a very suspicious scrape on one of its side. Karl is already sitting on the back seat, humming a tune to himself. Well, at least you can call dibs on the front se- oh wait it's occupied. By a midget walrus. "Oh yeah! You haven't met Lars, have you Freja? Say hi, Lars! He's one of the bioengineered walruses." As if on cue, Lars shouted a loud HROONK, and waved a flipper.
As you think the day won't get any worse, you unwittingly shared a seat with Karl, and-

The 5-minute drive is a sheer nightmare. Helga drives like the VW is on fire, and what is supposed to be a 15-minute drive she blazed through traffic like nobody's business. Lars HRONKs like mad, Karl screamed like a little girl while hugging you,
>and you...
[ ] vacated your mind from your body, thinking of a happy place
[ ] screamed just as loudly as Karl, while trying to undo his hug-attempts
[ ] revel in the recklessness and speed
[ ] other (fill in)

>>28014746
>[x] revel in the recklessness and speed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiDuy4mrWU

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>>28014746
>[x] vacated your mind from your body, thinking of a happy place
>ofw

>>28014746
>vacated your mind from your body, thinking of a happy place

>>28014746
[x] screamed just as loudly as Karl, while trying to undo his hug-attempts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT6lEo11Fkc

>>28014746
Drove our elbow into Karl'srib every time he opened his mouth in an effort to train him like you're supposed to be able to with animals.

>>28014823
yes

>>28014870
>comparing Karl to an animal
That is a HORRIBLE insult. To the animals.

>>28014746
>[x] revel in the recklessness and speed
dat RR layout, man

>>28014902
Agreed. at most, he's on the level of bacteria

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>>28014985
I don't think he even qualifies for that.
He's pond scum. BORING, ANNOYING pond scum, and we hate living with him.

Karl is the worst person

>>28015040
so we're agreed. We are going full Asuka

>>28015040
Anon, you're off base. This guy's more like Touji, if Touji had a habit of huffing Kensuke's modelling cement.
We obviously haven't met our Shinji yet.

>>28014746
[X] revel in the recklessness and speed
Gotta go fast

>>28015065
No. Asuka was the canonical example of tsundere.

For Karl, there is no dere. There is only tsun.

>>28014823
>>28014835
...and you vacate your mind from your body, thinking of a happy place. Even when the ride ends, you are still prancing about in the dandelion fields, not even registering the involuntary boob grab by Karl, who is now shivering on his side of the seat. You are only woken from your fugue state when Helga says, "Aww, look at you two, I knew you'd be fast friends!"
This is not friendship, Helga, it is the mutual bond of post-traumatic disorder expressing itself differently.
As you regain your senses and your mind return to its earthly body, you noticed the scared Karl and his hands, which are gripped tightly.
One of them on one of your boob.
Quickly smacking sense in the form of your foot against his face, you release Karl from his mortal coil, temporarily. He still has a shoe-shaped expression on his face when you two strode into AESIR HQ, located in the megastructure that is Yggdrasil, rising out of the Baltic sea. It is divided into three levels: Utgard, the base of the structure, houses most of the military and defense systems; Midgard, sandwiched in the middle, containing the civilian areas, and Utgard, where the center of the AESIR HQ is, and where you are currently.
But as you change into your battlesuit, alarms rang out. Helga busts in just as you finish calibrating. "Test's cancelled, we got a situation." You can see that Karl is peeping behind her.
>Do:
[ ] Ask Helga what is the meaning of this.
[ ] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.
[ ] other (fill in)

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>>28015065
may moot's blessings be with you

>>28015122
>Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.

Two Utgards?

>>28015122
>[x] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.

>>28015117
>For Karl, there is no dere. There is only tsun.
rotten eggs in his shoes

all of his shoes

>>28015117
So, how Asuka was to pretty much any male who wasn't Shinji (because, in spite of her stubborn refusal to admit it, she was in love with the guy) or Kaji (who she latched onto as a "safe" option for her childish infatuation)?
>>28015122
>[x] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.
Bad Karl. You are not the guy we secretly WANT to see our glorious body!
>>28015145
Moot has good taste.

>>28015122
>Utgard, the base of the structure, houses most of the military and defense systems; Midgard, sandwiched in the middle, containing the civilian areas, and Utgard, where the center of the AESIR HQ is, and where you are currently.
>Utgard, Midgard, and Utgard
Try again?

[x] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.

>>28015122
[x] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.
Can we also kick him in the nuts?

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But what about Rei?

>>28015195
yup

>>28015117
also, I don't remember Asuka being dere to Shinji ever. not that anyone would want to be dere to Spineless Shinji.

>>28015122
[X] Punch Karl for peeping, then ask Helga what is up.

>>28015220
Rei's player spent most of the game pretty high. He's just there to see his buddies, anyway.

>>28015220
>Rei 8
Looks like all that reincarnating really did a number on her face. Yeesh.

>>28015200
>So, how Asuka was to pretty much any male who wasn't Shinji (because, in spite of her stubborn refusal to admit it, she was in love with the guy) or Kaji (who she latched onto as a "safe" option for her childish infatuation)?

Yes, although we reserve that treatment for people who are childish, self-absorbed dicks. (Read: Karl.)

I imagine FS as having been ordinarily pretty chill, at least until she started having to bunk with That Guy.

>>28015263
>her face
I'd be more concerned about her arms

>>28015224
There was the part in EoE during Instrumentality that she tells him he can jerk it, and she'll watch, but only she can have him.

That's...that's kind of dere, right?

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>>28015263
That's just the alien DNA showing through.

>>28015276
FS is the sort of girl who was a tomboy, developed early, and hated how people treated her after that. She is reflexively cruel towards those who she feels sexualize her, and longs to go back to childhood and innocence, but does not know how to analyze or express this. Additionally, she does not sexualize herself, but instead rejects the feminine ideals and is upset with her own body's new, pubescent, form, and takes out this frustration on Karl, whom to her represents the sexual dawn of late childhood/early adolescence.

However, FS is not strictly asexual. She, like many teenagers, has a high and confusing libido, and does not know how to express it, instead going for long runs and reading vampire romance novels.

>>28015302
that's not really loving... I'm not even sure what to call it...

>>28015224
>The scene where she has him kiss her...as "practice" and pinches his nose because she thinks she might have bad breath

>>28015331
>reading vampire romance novels
LIKE HELL SHE IS.

>>28015176
Derp, the AESIR HQ is supposed to be at Asgard.

You strike your arm to poke his eyes out; But Karl counters it, Stooges-style. "Heh, missed!" He grins, but that grin melts as you swiftly kicked him on the nuts, lightly. "That's for peeping!" You say to his agonized face, then turn towards Helga. "Right, what's the sitch?"
Helga, her amused smile fading to seriousness, replies. "We've got something headed our way. Get in the Einherjar and fight it off. It'll be you, Karl, and Hilda."
"Wait, who's Hilda?"
"I am." A voice from behind Karl emanates, coming from a fair-haired girl roughly about your age. A strange thing about her, her eyes are golden.
"What is it you need from me, friend Freja?" Hilda asks.
>say:
[ ] "Oh, nothing, just wondering who you are."
[ ] "Aren't you one of the Valkyrie?"
[ ] "Nothing, wanna fight about it?"

here's hoping no IP/ISP blocks

>>28015220
Haven't met Wundergirl yet.
But I'm in favor of us attempting to make friends. Then, if she rejects us, we go full scorched earth on her social life.
>>28015224
>I don't remember Asuka being dere to Shinji ever
It's really a comparative thing. Asuka is defined largely by her fear of rejection. She's so guarded against it that she actively pushes people away, just so she won't feel bad when she realizes how few friends she has. Hikari is pretty much her ONLY friend.
But she clearly makes an effort to be friendly to Shinji. But she isn't really comfortable with her attraction to/feelings for him, which is exacerbated by Shinji being so full of self-loathing that he constantly rationalizes away her advances because "there's no way a girl like her would even notice me". This in turn sends her emotional walls right back up, every time she tries to lower them to him. And she won't just outright say "Shinji, I like you." because she doesn't want to risk being rejected. So she winds up sending mixed signals.
>>28015331
>vampire romance novels
No. Fuck no.
Writes bad Vinland Saga slashfics?
>>28015394
>[x] "Oh, nothing, just wondering who you are."

>>28015394
>"Oh, nothing, just wondering who you are."

>>28015331
>that analysis
2deep4me this early in the morning

>>28015331
That's a lot closer to being a description of Karl, I think, than of FS; note his casually and selfishly childish behavior. Rather than accept his own puberty, he's trying to deny it it with regressive behaviors -- mostly directed at FS, since he unconsciously blames her for his own sublimated sexual desire towards her.

>>28015394
[x] "Combat assistance, apparently."

>>28015394
>[x] "Oh, nothing, just wondering who you are."

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>>28015331
this is good. But i guess there is better books
>>28015394
Karl set us in a bad mood, going with
[X] "Nothing, wanna fight about it?"

>>28015486
I think they share a fear, and manifest it in different ways. FS wants adulthood and fears sexuality, an arguably integral part of adult life, while Karl fears sexuality and wants childhood, therefore acting as a child in a faux-innocence

>>28015677
>FS wants adulthood and fears sexuality
So we're a slightly older Naota with tits?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTM_Me312S4

>>28015450
>>28015461
>>28015489
"Oh, nothing, just wondering who you are."
"Then, pleased to meet you, I am Hilde Geirridr. I hope we can be friends." She offers an awkward hand to you, of which you cautiously accept. You whisper to Helga, "What's up with her?"
"Oh, she's an orphan since she was young, you know. But come on, we have a battle to prepare for." Helga motions Hilda and Karl to follow her, and you follow as well. In a hangar marked Valhall, the machines of flesh that is the Einherjars lay in their vertical beds, towering massively over the maintenance crew that is finishing their checks and double-checks. Massive wires plug into their backs, the Einherjars are being fed their breakfast: electricity. These are what you're here to pilot. You see Karl head for his designated Einherjar, E-02, while Hilda head for hers, E-00. You head towards your metal giant, E-01. You sit in the now-exposed cockpit, which will slide down the neck of the Einherjar in a second. As the visual cortex connects to the neural link, you see that Karl has two progressive axes, while Hilda has an AT penetrator lance.
>As for your armaments...
[ ] A sabot rifle
[ ] Progressive sword and shield
[ ] Electro-halberd
[ ] other (fill in)

>>28015744
>[ ] other
Positron Rifle.

>>28015744
>[x] Progressive sword and shield
+ULFBERH+T MOTHER FUCKER!

>>28015744
>[ ] A sabot rifle
>[ ] other

bullpup rifle with integrated bayonet

also, is this not our first sortie? every seems very calm about all of this

>>28015744
>[x] Electro-halberd
Because come on, it's a polearm. It gives us our best chance at eventually wielding Gungnir.

>>28015760
>>28015770
>>28015796
>>28015837
>Needs a tiebreaker
2 for melee, 2 for ranged; which one is it?

>>28015892
I'm for Melee, the Electro-halberd

>>28015796
going with this then

>>28015450
>Writes bad Vinland Saga slashfics?
Literally anyone/Loki.

>>28015677
Well, from an interior perspective I don't think there's sufficient evidence to conclude that. From an exterior perspective I think that's going to end with FS acting too much like canon-Asuka (or worse, fanon-Asuka).

More to the point, I don't particularly want to play someone who externalizes their issues. Being generally uncomfortable with the concept of her own sexuality is one thing, but blaming other people for it is quite another.

>>28015892
Melee; sword-and-board.

>>28015892
sword and shield, or short-spear and shield. Something and shield, very norse.

>>28015915
>From an exterior perspective I think that's going to end with FS acting too much like canon-Asuka (or worse, fanon-Asuka).
Ugh, I hope not. Avoidance of sexuality in herself and others could be interesting, but actively hating and turning violence to those who are sexual is a bit extreme, but it seems that Indonesian Gentlemen wants to run it that way...

>>28015892
Electro-halberd

>>28015956
>short-spear and shield.
Actually I (>>28015915) like that more. Viking hewing-spear, anyone?

>>28016028
>>28015956
>short-spear and shield
yeah, some sort of broad-bladed spear and round shield

>>28015915
>Literally anyone/Loki.
Ain't slashfic supposed to resolve around pairings that never happened in canon?

>>28016092
nah, anything goes

>>28015956
Well, you're assuming a lot from a sample size of one. At the moment I think it's just as likely that she hits Karl because he's an actively and mostly-deliberately irritating ass.

>>28016092
... I concede the point.

>>28016128
>At the moment I think it's just as likely that she hits Karl because he's an actively and mostly-deliberately irritating ass.
fair enough

Rolled 7

>>28015744
>[x] Progressive sword and shield
Cut and Bash

Sorry guys, Thor just zapped out my modem, posting from phone. Quest will be continued after replacing modem.

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>>28016128
And come to that, so am I, concerning Karl. It's entirely possible that he's simply literally retarded, due to AESIR-induced brain damage. (This is an Evangelion spinoff, after all.)

>>28016568
ALL QUESTS ARE CURSED

>>28016568
Thor is a huge dick. Fuck him and fuck his hammer

So, uh...archive, maybe possibly?

>>28016916
done
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28013529/