>>28239257
Deyz callz me Moe, 'cause I always be needin' more dakka

>>28239338
Moe! Moe iz our name! Cause moe is always better. Not better than red of course but, iz a start.
Now, what kind of Ork are we? A loota maybe? Shoota boy? Or maybe one o dem magic ones!

>>28239524
Mekboy

>>28239524
Loota

>already orkpert
That's the spirit captcha

>>28239524
We'zah Kommando... we be real sneaky like, and take those ummies from behind wid our brutal kunning...

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Wez make da shootiest guns and da fastest bikes, boss!

>>28239582
>>28239552
Wez a Mekboy! Dis iz a big bonus, az we start out with some very nice dakka and gubbinz to use.
Youz waz workin in your workshop, trying to figure out how to make robot squigz when a boy run in and tellz yeah Warboss Skullkrumpa was krumped by some o dem Space Marinez. You shot the boy right away for interruptin yor work but now, you have a moment to fink. Wit da Warboss gone... maybe youz can become da new warboss! But... first you need to win over da boyz. You start thinkin more, when you hear a rukus outside. Some o da nobz are fightin amongst themselves. The fight for da new warboss has begun.
How do we proceed?

>>28239734
>Build a gargant

>>28239775
>scrap some nearby vehicles to start building a gargant

>>28239524
MOE NEEDS MOE DAKKA

MOE MAKE MOE DAKKA WIF MEKBOY CLAWS

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Well, I dunno about you gitz, but I fink it's about time to krump sum 'eads togetha like a proppa ork.

Jus' so happens wez got our own kustom mega blasta to krump for us.

>>28239775
No, ya git! we build a super gargant!

>>28239734
1) take slugs for yo dakka
2)paint da slugs red
3) shoot dose fat nobs right in the gob
4) tell da boyz dey could krump like you too if dey had yo speshal dakka
5) tell dem dat if dey make you da boss they will ave da loudest an biggest dakka 'round
6)???
7)profit

>>28239775
>>28239814
Now, if one fing you've learned from being an Ork, iz dat the biggest dakka always winz! And what'z bigga den a gargant? Nofing. Course, you need some scrap fer dat, but no big deal. You spot a nearby Trukk and get your tolz and start takin it apart, when you hear a noise behind you.
"Oi ya git! Datz my Trukk!" You turn and see one of the nobz, holdin his choppa covered in blood.
"Iz killed da only odda nob 'ere, so I iz da boss and you gotta listen to me!"
How best do we krump dis git?

>>28239838
I'S LIKE DIS GIT, 'E ONTA SUMTHIN

>>28239874
"I'S DA NOB NOW"

Drive the trukk into him/rig the trukk to blow and run away

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>>28239257
Hey OP I tried to run an Ork Quest a few years ago that failed horribly due to my laziness and lack of familiarity with how a quest should be run on /tg/

One good thing that did come out of it though was the fa/tg/uys who did play created Skruffy da Janitork Kommando who managed to loot a Sentinel and convert it into his own kustom Deff Dread called Da Kleena. Some very nice drawfag drew it up for us so I thought I would share it with you incase you find a use for it later.

>>28239894
Dats not orky 'nuff. Wot'er you, sum weedy little grot?

We blast 'im in the 'ead wif our shoota an' carry on.

>>28239894
DIS!!!

>>28239915
well we's a mekboy an' got no idea woht how big we is

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>>28239940
Don't matta 'ow big we iz when wez got dis!

>>28239915
>>28239894
Youz come up wit a great plan, both kunnin and brutal. You'll blast dis git and, if dat don't work, RAM him wit iz own trukk.
"Iz da boss now!" You yell before opening fire wit you Kustom Mega blaster.
Roll 1d100. Average of the first 3 rolls will be used, with lower being better.

Rolled 36

>>28240027

WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Rolled 90

>>28240027
WAAAAAAAAGH!

Rolled 95

>>28240060
thanks for that, anon

>>28240027
rollin'

Rolled 94

>>28240027

>>28240079
>>28240079
I'z finking we did'em good.

>>28240060
>>28240079
>>28240084
WE'Z DA BES ORKZ AROUND!

>>28240107
>with lower being better.
Hawld et roight dur baws

>>28240051
>>28240060
>>28240079
Youz hit da Nob once wit your blasta, but the git charges you , dodging your other shots. You quickly jump in his Trukk and slam the pedal down, da Trukk roaring to life as it rushes forward.
1d100+20 to see if we run dis Nob over.

Rolled 99 + 20

>>28240121

We'z got 'im now, boss

>>28240121

Rolled 87 + 20

>>28240121
WAUUUGH

Rolled 74 + 20

>>28240140
tryin this again

>>28240137
>>28240151
>>28240176
we dun goofed, boyz

>>28240137
>>28240151
>>28240176

Uh, boss? We'z betta leg it!

>>28240137
>>28240140
>>28240151
Okay, minor mistake, meant to say -20 since lower is better. But anyways...
You let out a loud cry as the Trukk zooms straight for da Nob... only for im to step outta da way, and sending you driving right into your workshop! The Trukk smashes through the wall and out the other, wrecking most of your tullz and projects in the process. The Trukk goes out of control, flipping over multiple times before landing on its side, crushing a few grotz dat were fighting over some food. You climb from the wreckage, your Kustom Shoota missing from the wreck and see the nob walking towards ya angry.
Wat we do now?

>>28240235
>pick up piece of debris
"NOW YOU'S GONNA GET OUTTA HERE 'FORE I BLOW ME SUPER-DUPER-BOOMAH-BOMB RIGHT IN YE FACE, YA GIT"

>secretly pat self on back for bein' so kunnin

>>28240235
rig the truk to blow when da gits close

>>28240235
Tell dem living grots to go fight da Nob! Tell'em we'll give'em food and some scraps hahaha! Scramble around find our blasta while dem grots is gittin torn up.

>>28240287
Err, ya! Wot 'e said!

>>28240287
Mork'd be proud of ya!

>>28240343
>>28240287
Finking fast, you grab two pieces of scrap from what's left of the Trukk.
"Oi! One more steep and I blow dis whole place up wif my... my... SUPER-DUPER-BOOMAH-BOMB!"
The nob starts, looking at you confused.
1d100 to see if we convince him.

Rolled 39

>>28240387
Let's not zog this up, guys...

Rolled 38

>>28240387
If dis don' work, we get da sharpest bit of scrap and put it wit some odd bits and make a choppa.

Rolled 83

>>28240387
Dis u'll fool'em

>>28240434
Ya done mukked it up!

>>28240434
Ya Git! Whatchya tryin to do!

>>28240434
>>28240433
>>28240405
The Nobz eyez go wide and he drops his Big Choppa.
"Wait!" He says. "Don't do dat! If... if in you drop don't blow us up... I'll makez ya me second in command! My biggest big mek! You can be in charge o all de other meks! Get first chance to loot! What do ya say?"
Well then, shall we take the deal, or risk continuing fighting?

>>28240500
Take the deal, until we can finish our dakka, dem we killz dis git!

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>>28240500
Deal or No Deal: Teef Edition.

>>28240500
Take the deal, but be sure to sweeten it real soon or he's gonna krump us when we ain't lookin. We get in good wit him, and this'll work out.

He's da new boss, he needs a new choppa. Build him a right killy Power Klaw.

>>28240500
Ya know... be'in a Big Mek would be betta than be'in the boss anyway. More time ta invent things, no need to engage in da delicate art of Politiks.

>>28240535
>>28240555
You think it over before tossing the scrap metal aside and nodding you head. The nob smiles and grabs your arm, pulling you over to on top a rock, various boyz gathering around to hear the what all the commotion was about.
"Alright ya gitz! Da old warboss is dead. Nowz I, Warboss Teef Taker, iz in charge! And dis h'ere is me Big Mek, Big...." He pauses, and leans down to you whispering. "Oi, what you say your name wuz agin?"

>>28240653
Gubbinz

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>>28240637
YA! Bein Bodd ain't everyfing... yet. We'z a Big Mek! Not only iz we smat but wez right killy too!

>>28240653
Scrapjaw

>>28240653
Our'z name is Moe, but wit da lead-in "Big" we need a new one.

Big Albert Orkstein.

>>28240681
Wez Gubbinz, we iz!

>>28240653
>>28240681

MOE GUBBINZ

>>28240653
We'z Big Mek Orkenheimer. We make da killiest bomb, 'memba?

Sir, I'd like to inform you that I am big mechanic Hugh Mann.

>>28240681
>>28240721
>>28240723
"Moe." You say. "Moe Gubbinz." The warboss lifts your arm up, almost tearing it out of the socket. "Big Moe Gubbinz!" The crowd of boyz let out a cheer, several shooting off their guns and cheering their new warboss's name, as well as yours. Teef Taker puts you down and turns to you. "Moe. I needz you ta get the mekz together and start buidling Gubbinz. We need bikes, deff dreads, shootas, everyfing if wez gunna get all da boyz on dis planet togetha. Fink you can do dat?"

>>28240726
Dis git raises a good point: dis new boss iz gonna want to use da Super-Duper-Boomah-Bomb. We betta get aroun' ta inventin it.

>>28240809
Build a gargant instead

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>>28240812
Boyz, boyz, I gots you cova'ed.

>>28240812
>>28240826
>>28240809

Get da mekboyz unda us ta make da gubbinz Teef Taker wantses. While dey do dat, we make a gargant and put insidez it da SUPER-DUPER-BOOMAH-BOMB.

>>28240826
Build da gargant while da new boss finks you buildin other mess

>>28240809
Get da otha meks to work buildin the normal stuff. We'z got experimentz ta do...

>da biggest bomb dat eva boomed
>A gargant so shooty and stompy dat Gork'd grin ta see it
>A new kustom shoota

>>28240809
Let the grots build shootas. We build gargants.

Rolled 73

>>28240809
Clearly we find the other mekz and order them around while we get back to buildin our gargant.

>>28240873
Sounds like a good start.

>>28240873
Seconded.

>>28240873
no, ya grot! we want ta make one dat'l make Mork grin!

>>28240879
>>28240873
>>28240867
>>28240866
>>28240826
You'z tell da boss you got it covered and gather up all da Meks and der Grot workerz, tellin dem to get da work or else ya krump dem. Meanwhile... you have bigga plans.
Roll two seperate 1d100s, the first with a -30, and the second with a -10. The first will determine how good the Meks do at building stuff for Teef Taker, the second will see our progress on the Gargant.

>>28240916
Third.
Hey! OP! whats our Camp/Fort look like?
Describe our surroundings will ya?

>>28240925
I'z rollin' fer da meks 'cuz... I'z dunno 'ow ta roll more'n one dice...

Rolled 14

>>28240925

Rolled 88 + 30

>>28240953
I ain't dat smart, boss, I'z sorry.

Rolled 35 + 10

>>28240925

Rolled 9 + 30

we'z da mekkiest uv dem all

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>>28240982

lol this quest is pretty hilarious

>>28240966
>>28240982
>>28240990
Our Mekz preform amazing, making tons and tons of Trukks, shootas, and all kindz of things dat every boy is well equipped. We'z elite boyz now!
>>28240946
We live in a pretty small camp dat was formed by Boyz who got left behind after the WAAAAGH started moving too quickly, so the Old Warboss put most of his Meks, including us, here to make all the things to continue his WAAAGH, as well as nobz and boyz to watch over the mekz. There are about 3,000 boyz here, 1 Warboss, 1 Big Mek (us), and 20 Meks, as well as countless grots.

Rolled 12 + 20

>>28240925
Dis gargant's gonna take dis WAAGGGHHHH all 'cross da planet and inta space!

Rolled 36 + 30

>>28240925

Rolled 75 + 10

>>28240925

>>28241067
So not only do we gots plenty 'a meks, dis system's full of Orks what ain't got meks of their own cuz they all here?

Remember the ancient saying: WAAAGGHHHH ain't about boyz, it'z about gubbinz.

we'z pretty bad at rollin' dese dice tings, boss

Rolled 83 + 30

>>28241076
>>28241079
>>28241097
Oi you gits! youz late to da roll! Quit mukkin about fore I krump ye!

>>28241130
Oi! You'z rollin' too, ya git! An' we still don' know how good we did da gargant!

Rolled 46 + 10

>>28240925
dis gargant gonna be good

>>28241159
Wunna you gitz musta put da dice in me pocket! Call me a git again an' we's gonna see who's da choppiest round here!

>>28240988
>>28241097
>>28241076
Meanwhile, our sekret project goes rather well, wit wez made da blue prints for our gargant and began building im... when we ran outta scrap. Drat, looks like dis may take time.
Our Gargant is 10% complete.
While working in the shop one day, the Warboss, in his new armor and with his new power claw, approaches you. "Oi, Big Moe! Iz got a kunin plan. I 'eard dere is a big umie city nearby, and dats where da Old boss got krumped! I figure, if we destroy dat city, we'z gonna get all day boyz to follow me!" He smiles and leans forward. "Still got dat bomb of yourz?"

>>28241159
>>28241213
And so it begins.

>>28241233
>uhhh, yeh boss
>turn kunnin' mode to EXTRA ORKY
>give fake super-duper-boomah-bomb to warboss
>convince him he can take on da whole city by himself with it
>me gob when III'M WARBOSS NOW

>>28241233
wez tellz im bout da gargant. If he doesnt like it, den we do >>28241267

Rolled 40 + 10

>>28241267
but what if 'e wan's us ta go wif 'im to da city? we right bugga'd then, boyz.

Rolled 45

>>28241233
>Took it apart boss, we'ze workin on a soopah sekrit projekt. We'ze gonna make a rilly rilly killy stompa so'ze we can crush that hoomie city real good. We'll need more metal though, boss, but when it's done we'll be able to crush the hoomie's easy!

>>28241233
Nah boss we used da scap for da Trukks and shootas. I'z need ta make a new 'un

>>28241233
Maybe, just maybe scrap a few truks and make use some bombas! we'z get some flyin boys and we take date city! get all da loot!

>>28241327
DIS BOYZ GOT DA RITE IDEA

Rolled 24

>>28241332

>>28241327
Now dat's a proper orky plan it is, boss! Kunnin an brutal, just like Mork, it is!

>>28241296
>>28241327
>>28241345
Teef Taker's eyes go wide. "A Gargant! Why didn't you say so!" He says, slapping you on the back. "See, dis is why yoz second in command Moe! I'll git ya da scrap you need! Dere's anudda village of Orks. Speed Freaks wit tonz of bikes and Trukks! We'll take deres!" He says, running outside to rally the boyz. Soon all da boyz are loading up in Trukks, Battle Wagons, and Bikes. The Warboss is riding in a heavily armored Battle Wagon himself, wif tonz of dakka. What shall we ride in and what kind of weapons and gubbinz will we take into battle?

>>28241433
Dat choppa shooty ting we nicked of som eldar git

>>28241433
Boss, I gots a kunnin plan. It's so kunnin' yew could give it some gubbins an' call it a squig. We ride a chariot... pulled by killa kanz, boss.

>>28241433
Killa kan

and dere's a reezun we's called Moe Gubbinz. Strap a couple shootas on the lef' arm an' strap some rokkits on the torso an' strap da bigges' saw you can find onto da right arm

Rolled 64

>>28241433
We'ze gonna ride a killa kan. One with a burna and a really big shoota.

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>>28241470
Speakin a squigs...

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>>28241470
Kans aint fast tho.
A good mek minds the important gubbinz, we should ride with the warboss.

>>28241553
'ere's the otha kunnin bit, ladz. We paint da kanz red

>>28241553
>>28241553
Den Strap sum rokits on the khan ya git, paint it red as well, in fact paint all da boyz red

>>28241433
>>28241584
red rokit khan, wez gud we iz

>>28241584
>>28241601

An' before we leave, boyz, we do dis

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKRxX3s3JlM

an' we can't die! I'z so kunnin, I betta watch my foot don't fall off.

>>28241584
Woi would we paint da boyz red? dey is already green- and green iz best!

>>28241574
>>28241584
You decide to make a right and proper Kan as your ride, painting it red and covering it wit weapons and rokkits to make it go FASTA!!!
Da WAAAAAGH rides out for a days journey and comes upon the village soon, da Warboss deciding to attack at dawn as, "Dey will be sleeping, not ridin der bikes!" Of course, Orks being Orks, the WAAAGH makes a lot of noise nd the speed freaks start waking up, charging forth to meet us.
Roll 1d100-20 for how the initial engagement goes.

>>28241617
>>28241617
We iz da kunninist boy dat ever lived

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Rolled 79 + 20

>>28241652
WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Rolled 71 + 20

>>28241652
Dey can't kill us on account a' we gotz da bullet wif our name on it! Let 'em 'ave it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Rolled 55

>>28241652
Hope dis is good.

Rolled 24 + 20

>>28241652
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>>28241669
>>28241692
>>28241718
The fighting starts and starts fierce, both sides slamming into each other. We even manage to blow up a Trukk before grabbing an Ork off his Bike and cuttin him in two. However, more of the speed freaks start waking up and getting to there vehicles.
We can A: Keep fighting, at which point we need another 1d100, no bonus.
Or B: Come up with a plan of attack.

>>28241763
iz simple ya gitz, we paint ALL of da boyz purple....and den we sneak up behind da speed freaks and slit dere throats....we iz kunninist ork dere iz

Rolled 30

>>28241763

>A

We'z ain't dyin' today, boyz! Well... Da otha boyz might... but not us! We'z too kunnin'! Show 'em jus' 'ow ded dey can get! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

Rolled 95

>>28241798
LES MAKE MORK PROUD BOYZ! WAUUUUGH

Rolled 1

>>28241763
Do all out kanz have da rockets?
If day do, we should try raining da red firey bombs down on dem scrabalin freaks! Mush'em up real good!

>>28241820

>1

It... it'z bootiful, boss.

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>>28241820
incoming Tyrion marine in 5...4....3....2.....1

>>28241820
{95}
{1}
I don't even....

>>28241820
OY NOICE ROLL YA GIT

>>28241846
I saw a nat 100 a nat 1 on top of each other once

>>28241798
>>28241811
De battle raged on, wit the oncoming reinforcements looking to turn the tide when
>>28241820
Youz get a clever idea and order all de Kanz wit rokkits to fire dem at the incoming speed freaks. The barrage of missles fly right at them, blasting their bikes and trukks to pieces in a glorious roar of dakka, leaving nothing but craters. The boyz let out a loud WAAAAGH, as the remaining Speed Freaks surrender, joining Teef Taker. Now itz lootin time!
Now then, I must be off to bed. I shall continue this thread tomorrow if it is still up, or make a new one if it isn't. Anyone mind archiving it?

>>28241820
thank GORKaMORKa that you evened out my shitty roll

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>>28241918
Fuck yeah.
Dat splatter house of rape.

>>28241918
I'z told ya boyz, din't I? Writin' our name on dat bullet so'z we ain't eva gettin' shot later meanz we'z gonna be da boss 'afore long. We should keep dat bullet sumwhere'z safe incase one'a da boyz gets any bright ideas. Atleast we know'z where da bullet what'll kill us is, dough!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/28239257/
archive is up here.