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You dust your hands off as several scrubs run over the massive tree, decorating and setting up for the best Christmas ever. You feel a hand on your shoulder and turn around to see Jager standing there with a pen and paper, several words scratched out and several names written. She has a concerned look on her face as she looks over the large tree. "Risa, what did I say about that song?" She asks patiently putting a large furry hat on your head.

"That it was amazing and my creativity should be applauded." You say and she makes a rolling gesture with her hand for you to continue. "But, generally speaking, you dislike songs about your butt? I can't change it now, I already put it on the Christmas cards." You explain.

She lets out a sigh and starts walking off, you quickly keeping pace with her as she moves down the slowly brightening corridor. "Well, I guess I can let it go since you worked so hard for Christmas. I had no idea you liked the holiday that much." She smiles.

"Of course! I love Christmas. I'm from England you know." You say as if that should explain everything. Before Jager can protest that doesn't make sense 42 walks past you carrying a tray of eggnog causing you to quickly scoop up a pair of them. "Fantastic! I knew not firing him out of a cannon into the sun was a good call." You note taking a drink of the refreshing nog.
(2/6?)

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The two of you make idle chatter while walking through the palace until you come upon Caede, dressed as a reindeer and looking confused at her glass of eggnog. Dominic stands next to her laughing gleefully, his elf outfit straining against his massive muscles. "Of course Caede! Eggnog is made from eggs! Why else would they call it such? You find that confusing? Buwahahaha! If you were to crack eggs and cream over my chest they would turn into eggnog while rolling over my body of course!"

Jager sighs and moves to say something but you cut her off. "Don't go telling lies Dominic! That isn't how you get eggnog." You huff taking a drink of the delightfully alcoholic beverage. Jager seems pleased you would move to correct such ignorance so you continue. "You get eggnog from Naugahyde gonks, you milk them for you see." You explain.

"No, you make it by-" Jager starts but you don't let her lies spoil your fun.

"In the northern half of the kingdom there are whole fields of Naugahyde Gonks. Like great furry sheep, they are, with four pairs of vestigial bat wings and a massive curling horn in their forehead. Their sharp pointed teeth go against their otherwise gentle disposition and once a year they galorp out of their cave dwellings in whole fleets! They dance about the countryside and Gonk Milkers walk through their ranks, milking all the eggnog they can before the Gonks go back to their cave dwellings to raise baby Gonks." You explain wrapping an arm around Caede, and making a grand sweeping gesture with your free arm as you explain.

"And I take it these Gonks make eggnog already alcoholic?" Jager asks taking another drink.

"Well," You start letting go of Caede and giving a pat as you walk past Dominic. "They are Irish."
(3/7?)

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You make your way to the throne room with Jager and she sits down in the throne. You look around the room and note the cat clock you bought, evidently running on an eternal battery, is also wearing a Christmas hat. You nod satisfied as you start hanging up wreathes and putting down tinsel and pine. Jager manages to break you out of your holiday cheer building. "Okay, so I need to get something for Sin-Fin, damn she is hard to shop for. What did you get her?" She asks.

"An extraordinarily comfortable hammock in remarkable condition." You say at once, the large object already under the tree.

"So I can not base anything off what you say in this matter. Got you. Ah, what about the kids?" She asks suddenly. "Are they too old to believe in Santa? I mean, I know Caede and Zweity still believe so we can work something into there, but what about your students?"

"I am not certain I understand the question." You say arching a slender eyebrow.

"I mean, at what age to parents tell their kids that Santa isn't real in Japan? Do they get it out of the way young, or should we go the full nine yards with it?" She asks and you tilt your head.

"Jager, Santa is real." You explain, as if she were a child.

The looks at you blankly for a few moments then furrows her brow. "You can't be serious. Risa, you are on the wrong side of, what was it you said, 40? 50? You can't seriously still believe Santa is real." She says and you gape like she just slapped you. "Hold on, is monologue there? Did he inherit all your common sense? Ask monologue about Santa." She orders you.

"Monologue, do you have your Christmas list ready for Santa?" You ask. Yeah, I just have to spell check it. Don't want the big man to have a hard time making things out. "She says Santa is real. It's two against one. That's what you get for trying to be clever."

Jager huffs slightly. "Okay, treat you like you are a child. How can one man travel to every house in one night?" She asks.
(4/7?)

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"Time manipulation. It explains why he and the doctor are friends." You explain.

"So now you think doctor who is real. Okay, fine." She pulls out a small notebook and makes a surprised face. "Risa, you are right, Santa was real but it seems the Americans shot him down over their airspace last year. We didn't want to tell you because we knew how much it mattered to you." She explains.

"Now you are just having a giggle. You'll see, Santa is real and I will bloody prove it! I will prove it to you and you will have to admit I am right!" You shout sonidoing out of the room.

You run aimlessly through the palace, pausing briefly to put our letters in the post box, and then make your way to Sin-Fin's tower. She is dressed up with a top hat and scarf and you think she is trying to be frosty. You point at her. "Sin-Fin. We need to catch Santa. You are going to help me!"

She glances around the room for a few moments, then behind her at a flickering shadow shape. She seems perplexed for a few moments before nodding. "But won't that put you on the... naughty list?" She asks.

My god, she's right. "Son of a bitch." You protest before leaping out the window, because fuck those stairs.

You wander the palace for a few hours, pondering the meaning of Christmas and if you should have gotten Jager that totally awesome gift but you probably should have because she got you something. You bake come cookies, set them out with milk by the tree, and curl into the corner. You hold vigil until sugarplum fairies send you to sleep.

It is during this sleep that you hear strange mechanical sounds, and you think you smell an ancient enemy of yours. But that is just silly talk.
(5/7?)

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You awaken to the sight of your tree destroyed, the gifts pumped and burned, and all your tinsel destroyed. Small even impressions of feet line the room from the chimney you had put into place specifically for this event. You lift up the remains of a very good hammock and blink in shock. Someone was here, and someone was being a scrooge. You snarl as you throw the remains of the massive tree to the ground and let out a huff. The sound of footsteps echoes through the palace and the other hollows, likely drawn by your moment of unholiday like anger. The hollows gather around the ruins and you think you hear Zweity start crying. You turn to them and you realize how it must look. You made them all work hard in order to prepare for Christmas, then while they are all asleep someone destroys the holiday scene. Ten they awaken to find you in the middle of all that destruction. You look at Jager's disapproving face and holdup your hands in protest. "Wait a second, this isn't what it looks like. Yes, I did throw the tree but it was already destroyed when I got here."

"Seriously Risa. I know you like breaking things, but this is just mean. We all worked hard on it and- No, I shouldn't have expected anything more. Let's go everyone." Jager says walking off.

"No, wait!" You say, but it falls on deaf ears.
(6/7)

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You fall to your knees and slam your fist into the ground as you curse the dastardly plan which has framed you as a scrooge! You feel your ceros start flaring within you, and consider blowing everything up when a sound behind you makes you turn. There, standing in the middle of the wreckage, is sin-fin. She looks over the torn gifts, and the ruined paper and walks slowly over to you. You get ready for it, the sad faces, the angry scolding, the general suicidal depression that happens when you stand within an imperial mile of the girl, or whatever. Instead she leans down, places and hand on your shoulder and nods, with a little huff. You think about the strange action for a few moments before you realize what it means.

"You believe me?" You ask.

"Don't want... naughty list." She says.

She knows you work every day to be on the nice list. Even when being particularly omnicidal you are not as bad as you could be because you know, in your heart of hearts, that Santa is watching. You feel a moment of pride swell in you as the sad girl dressed as a snowman given life by dark magics on the most holy day of all. You stand up and wipe away your hypothetical tears. "Monologue. Can you get me back to the start of Christmas?" You ask.

Yes, Yes I can. What's your idea? "We go back in time and we save Christmas of course!" You explain. Okay, but I can probably only take you and two others, that is the limit of my Christmas magic. "You have Christmas magic?" I may have tried cheating the system one year to make every day Christmas. Santa was pleased with my cunning and gave me an item to allow us to travel back to the start of Christmas so long as we are on the nice list. Still, there are limits, it has a cool down and stuff. Anyway, you and two others. Make your call.

[]Take Sin-Fin
[]Take Jager
[]Take Ryouichi
[]Take Zweity
[]Take Kouta
[]Take Friedhelm
[]Other, please specify
(7/7)

>>29026506
Man if Risa isn't already on the Naughty List then I really have to question Santa's sense of morality.

Oh, and an early merry christmas, Azure, because I have to skedaddle now. Remember: Blood alcohol content has to stay below 1%, no matter how much booze your relatives gift you.

>>29026550
[]Take Sin-Fin
[]Take Ryouichi

we never do anything with Ryouichi, getting bad ended in alt future don't count

and Jager deserves a relaxing holiday, consider it our gift to her

>>29026550
>[X]Take Sin-Fin
>[X]Take Jager

The classics.

>>29026550
Sin-Fin since she believed us
Jager to prove we didn't ruin christmas

>>29026649

Seconding. It can be a mother son bonding, we just can't tell him we're mommy...or he's our son.

...man, preventing your kid from becoming a rape murder factory empowered by Satan is hard...perhaps we should make him steer clear of bad influence. I hear the MTV and Dungeons and Dragons are the devil.

Sinfin seems locked in, will flip then start writing.

>>29026389
>Five fatebreakers!
MUH FATEBREAKERS

>>29026440
>that entire post
I'm dying.

>>29026550
>[]Take Sin-Fin
>[]Take Jager

Ryoko is probably fucking someone right now, the other scrubs are dildos, and Zweity is a baby.

Oh and quick question: Are all abilities that relied on the fatebreaker pool fucked, or will things like Hate Engine still function?

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You scratch at your face for a few seconds then nod. "Alright Sin-Fin, you are going to help me save Christmas." You point at her and she nods, confused but understanding. "Since you are vaguely powerful and probably know more than you let on." Also I am sexually attracted to her in ways that no person alive can fully understand. "That too."

That leaves one more person. One person to prove your love of the holy spirit of giving with. Of course it has to be-

"I already said Risa, I'm not mad anymore. I should have just known you were going to do something like this. It's okay." Jager explains as you climb onto her shoulders.

"I am certain you are still mad, but I didn't do it. I can travel through time in order to prove it to you!" You explain tapping her head. You sure she isn't mad? This would piss me off.

"Look. I get it, you wanted to break stuff. Still, making up lies about time travel again? I wish you didn't raise my hopes and-" She starts as you leap off of her.

"New tactic! Sin-Fin! Grab on!" You shout grabbing hold of Jager.

Sin-fin nods and wraps her arms around Jager, making the larger girl squirm. "Stop it! Let go I-" Gager growls about to throw both of you off.
(1/3)

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She is probably still mad. You don't throw people off of you if you are still mad, right? Because normally she would get all warm and "Monologue! Spin that shit!" Right!

You feel time start to bend and warp around you as you move in a direction normally unseen. You hear Jager start screaming like she is in that tunnel from willy wonka. Actually, that analogy is perfect. You get sent hurtling through the could have been place, and through the palace of maybes and meanwhile's until you finally crash hard into the ground of Los Noches. You rub at your ears, the effect of traveling through time during Christmas of all days making the normally simple experience a nightmare. Such is the way of traveling on Christmas, aye? "Yeah, I guess so. Why did your time travel smell like peppermint? Mine doesn't smell like peppermint." Because I do not ride it as long or hard as you do, time slut. Now focus up.

Jager brushes off some time frost on her shoulder and looks around. "Risa what did you-" She starts but you press a hand to her mouth and peek around the corner.

"Well," A sexual dynamo who you have never seen before starts as they let go of an adorable reindeer girl and giving a large man a playful swat on the ass. "They are Irish."

"Okay, so there we are." You say as Jager looks over, then goes wide eyed.
(2/3)

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"But- Wait, that's us. How are we, but we. Risa, this is time travel." She says confusion and wonder on her face.

"Yeah, it's pretty simple. Time is a dimension, like left. Well, left if it were a sphere, but full of like, you know, stuff." You explain but not really. "It is probably complicated, alright? Look, we have to do something. Why are we all wearing monocles though? I don't remember monocles being... well, it probably isn't important. Sin-Fin, status report!"

Sin-Fin looks around, as if suddenly broken out of a momentary lapse of inattention. She blinks twice, glances around, then nods. "We are in the past. We need to save Christmas." She mutters.

"Excellent report. Now I remember smelling something, but I can not remember what, I remember hearing some strange mechanical sounds, then waking up to find Christmas over." You say.

"Time travel." Jager mutters.

"Good point. The big guy wouldn't allow this to happen, so obviously there is something wrong at the north pole. Which means we have to find some way to make it over there, but how?" You ask tapping your chin.

"Wait, hold on, what happens if we kill ourselves while back here?" Jager asks and you look at her.

You hold her gaze for a few moments then nod to Sin-Fin "Jager has gone suicidal. Major Sin-Fin, comfort her until she stops being so sad." You order. To your surprise Sin-Fin clings to Jager after giving a salute. Note to self, buy her a military uniform, I may have developed a fetish.

"So, we have to get to the north pole. But how?" You ask the collective brain that is you.

[]The quincies will probably have a way
[]The Nofunigami might have a special way in, they seem the sort to have that
[]Lucifer, Santa Claus is a saint right? He has to have a way in
[]Hoof it
[]Other, please specify
(3/3)

>>29026848
Not all abilities. Will remove the ones that are useless for now next time buying things comes up.

>>29027316
>[X]The quincies will probably have a way

Probably. Maybe.

>>29027316
>[x]Lucifer, Santa Claus is a saint right? He has to have a way in

he probably know somebody at least

>>29027316
>[]Lucifer, Santa Claus is a saint right? He has to have a way in
I'd prefer to not get skullfucked by the borderguard angels.

>>29027316
>[X]Other, please specify
"Hollow Rider! Some VILLAINS have decided to wreck Christmas! Open up a bullshit portal to Santaland!"

>>29027458
THIS...if it wouldn't piss sin-fin off but it would so
>Lucifer, Santa Claus is a saint right? He has to have a way in

>>29027316

>Quincies.

>>29027548
they don't even celebrate Christmas

they have the 8 days of kwanzaa

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"Okay, we need to go see Lucifer." You explain.

"Risa, but this is-" Jager starts.

"Yes, time travel. We are already past this. Get it? Past? Because I- Right, okay. We need to see the first star to fall from heaven and the breaker of sins and lies." You say grabbing a hold of Jager and Sin-Fin, who is clinging at this point like an otter to Jager's larger form, and sonido off.

You leap through the blasted moon baked desert of Hueco Mundo. The cold sand tickling your skin as you move through the December air. There is truly something magical about this time of year, some sort of joyous feeling you can get only feel during the magical pine scented season. You make your way to the forest of Menos and let out a flare of Go juice. You wait.

It doesn't take long. While Jager tries to convince Sin-Fin she is not suicidal you feel something like true happiness while smothering your first born glow behind you. You turn and see standing there in disgusting perfection beyond perfection Lucifer. He nods to your group then gets a difficult look on his face. He seems to weigh the options of asking something, but decides to go for it. "You are not... You are not the Schrodinger from now, are you?" He asks.

"Nope, we came from just a bit ahead is all. Why?" You ask.

"Reality is having a hard time figuring you out. It's like you are stretching a fabric. No, that isn't totally right. It is difficult to explain. Why have you gone through time?" He asks, pushing his explanation aside.

"Some one stole Christmas. We aim to save it. We need a trip to the north pole in order to save Santa Claus." You explain.

"R-Risa, even if time travel is r-real doesn't mean- doesn't mean I- It's hard to think" Jager mutters, averting her eyes from Lucifer.

"The joyous saint is taken?" He asks blinking wide.

"No way. No god damned way." Jager says drawing a glance from Lucifer. "Er, no offense."
(1/3)

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"The one you know as Santa is an old being. One who predates words. Always one who guides and gifts those worthy. One moment." He says getting a hazy look in his eyes. You wait and after a few moments Satan nods. "yes. Yes, I can not see the pole. Something vile and dark within the broken wastes of the jolly north. I could use some of my power to break through the angel blockade, but you will only be able to get to the outskirts of the pole. It will also be quite exhausting." He says.

"Lucy." You lift your chin and thrust out your modest chest. "It's Christmas. It must be." You point out.

The Author of all Lies nods his head gravely. He lifts a too perfect hand to the air and you see a point of infinite white light form. He points it at the ground and utters a word in a language you think you heard Sin-Fin use before and you see a vast, black crawling pit of writhing darkness form where the light connected with the ground. He nods to your group. "May you find victory Risa Schrodinger." He says and Jager shakes her head.

"How, how is this a thing? I don't- Nothing in the world says- But I-" Jager starts, but it cuts into a scream as Sin-Fin kicks her into the devil hole.

You look to her and she gives a salute. "She was talking.... crazy so I had to make her get a hold.... of her self." She says before falling into the massive pit of darkness, her strange biblical power meshing well with the power of the fallen.
(2/4)

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You nod to Lucifer and jump into the pit. You fall. The tunnel is like riding a quasar into a black hole, but without the charm. You feel yourself being ripped apart, then put together, then it decides that isn't so fun so why not put your naughty bits on the other way around, then they realize that is a terrible idea and feels awful about it. You think you see several angels trying to keep pace, but you suppose the power of the Morningstar is too much as they are cast back. You would almost feel bad about the implications of what you did, but you realize Christmas is much more important. You slam into the snow, a violet shard of ice crashing into the black white wilderness. Your arms explode out of the crystal like formation your body took on through the tunnel and you pull yourself free. You look around the waste and find Sin-Fin and Jager already free.

You walk over to the pair of them and find Jager shivering. "Why is it so cold?" She demands.

"Because you are not full of Christmas joy, clearly you grumpy gus." You say pulling her up.

Sin-Fin nods and the three of you make your way through the snow storm. You curse as you feel the Christmas joy, also your delicate application of go juice to protect you from the elements, start to fade, and snow piles on you. You press on hard, the snow layering over and over, making you hate the thin T-shirts you prefer wearing. You are about to give up when suddenly the snow stops.

You shake the snow off of yourself, and dust it off of Sin-Fin and Jager before looking around. The snowstorm seems to have formed a perfect barrier around the area you pulled into, which is only natural as it is the workshop itself.
(3/4)

>>29028081
Christmas SinFin is so fucking based. We need to get her a military uniform with a tophat beret santa hat thing or something. Somehow it will work.

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Wooden buildings line the area, with red and green paint theme as well as some brown to give it balance. You hear the gentle sound of machines making toys for all the good girls and boys, and you feel a swell of joy as you knew it to be true. You look towards the center of the massive area and see the tip of what is likely a giant Christmas tree around the center of town. You brush the snow out of your long hair and look around. "Do you see Jager? I told you it was real!"

Jager opens a frost covered eye and frowns. "No, I am not certain any of this is real any more. But, if I am going crazy I may as well be in for a penny in for a pound." She says pulling herself up and brushing herself off.

"Where is everyone?" Sin-Fin asks, clearly angling for a promotion with her keen observational skills.

You look around and realize she is right. You sonido over to some of the nearby buildings and look around inside. You see toys, and tools, and countless other things, but no elves. You frown as you realize something must have taken them from their work, and anything which can take an elf from their work is certainly a dangerous foe indeed.

"Well, how about we first..."

Choose one
[]Go into the center of town, where the big tree is
[]Check the outlying buildings more
[]No, go into the residential area. Elves have to live somewhere right?
[]Other, please specify
(4/4)

>>29028153

>TO THE CENTER,

>>29028153
>[x]Go into the center of town, where the big tree is

climb the tree. it will be a great vantage point!


>you're a mean one Miss Schodringer

>>29028153
>[x]Other, please specify
Find the house that most says "Santa lives here".
But if we can't do that, go with:
>[x]Go into the center of town, where the big tree is

>>29028153
>"No, I am not certain any of this is real any more. But, if I am going crazy I may as well be in for a penny in for a pound."

She finally understands!

>[X]Check the outlying buildings more

Let's find us some elves to interrogate.

Pizza ordered, and into the center of town we go

Just gonna throw this out now since I'm liable to drop into sleep halfway through this, but we should buy either Fluffy Love or Hate Engine(if it still works) once the thread completes. We have 15SPXP, so we can afford one of them.
I could swear that someone posted arts last thread that didn't get counted, but is no matter of great importance.

>>29026389
Oh thank god I didn't mi it

>>29028426
You're in top form tonight. I'm glad I decided to not go to sleep a couple hours ago.

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>>29028426
supreme?

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"That tree looks particularly suspicious." You note nodding towards the center of town. "If anything is going on, it is probably there. Besides, worst case scenario we climb the tree and leer over the town. A doctor told me about that-"

"Doctor Seuss is not actually a doctor." Jager mutters, taking big steps in the snow towards the center of the village. Well, he could be.

You step through the empty workshop, feeling empty evil eyes upon you as you make your way to the center of the village. You turn your head quickly to and fro, trying to find out who is watching you, and if you should be scared or aroused. "Just scared actually." Fine, you be scared, I be aroused. "You always are."

"It's interesting only having half of the conversation when I talk to you, did you know that Schrodinger? It's like I can fill in what ever I want for the voices in your head." Jager says.

"Hey, only one of them lives in my head. The others lives in my pants." You protest. I am not allowed in there. "Yeah." You nod.

You make your way to the large Christmas tree in the center of town and find it looks like some sort of blood bath. Small pools of blood are frozen in sticky crimson popsicles on the ground, while gears and oil are strewn everywhere. Interestingly, here are no bodies, despite the carnage and devastation. You see several opened gifts under the tree and a few unopened, but you resist the urge. Santa is always watching. Keep the faith. You look at the burned buildings and the scorched bloody snow and tap your face for a few minutes in thought with your long nailed index finger.
(1/3)

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"Found... Santa." Sin-Fin says from the other side of the square and you sonido over as quickly as possible.

A trail of steam rises from the snow due to the friction you created, and you stop in front of a large building with it's gates barred and locked from the other side. The plaque on the door, just above the mail slot, says "Santa Claus. 101 Nicholas Drive. North Pole" You point angrily towards the plaque as Jager walks over to you and she shakes her head.

"No, I am just, just going to let this happen now." She says looking over the door. "it looks like it's barred."

"Of course it is!" A prim, female, British voice calls out from the tree.

You turn, and see floating in the air a small iron orb with a speaker. You frown as you point towards the ball. "Of course! A giant floating orb. My ancient nemesis." You growl. No, that isn't our nemesis. We never met or angered a floating orb. "Oh, never mind. Where did you get that floating orb? Why did you kidnap Santa Claus?!" He isn't a kid. "Why did you saint nap Santa Claus?" You correct.

"This orb was paid for with the tax dollars of the loyal citizens of the kingdom of course!" That bitch. "As for Santa Clause, I found his socialistic ideology to be far too harmful for the stability of the kingdom, but you should know all about that." She purrs happily.

"What? You know her?" Jager asks.

"I am a time traveler. But, like, not just in the usual forward way. Sometimes my enemies try to get revenge on me before I ever meet them." You explain in a whisper then turn back to the orb. "If you want your revenge on me, then why don't you come out here? Fight me like a proper English lady, aye? We can settle this with a tea time warfare." It's like normal warfare, but with pinkies out.
(2/3)

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"Oh, I am afraid I am far too busy sucking up the Christmas cheer in the pole to fight you, but please have fun with my iron warriors!" She declares and from the unopened gifts several metallic forms rise.

They are fairly humanoid, with a British flag printed on their chests and a proud 'Made in England' carving just below it. They each hold large guns of some sort, and seem to be interconnected clockwork made of iron. You roll out of the way as a laser blast slams into the door behind you. You pull out your sword as the first of them charges, pulling out a saber!

Please roll 1d100, best of first five.

Also, decide how you want to roll with this.
[]First release, just to be safe
[]Full release, hold nothing back when saving Christmas
[]Don't release, they don't look too tough
[]Leave it to the others while you work on the door
[]Other, please specify
(3/3)

>>29028902
>"It's interesting only having half of the conversation when I talk to you, did you know that Schrodinger? It's like I can fill in what ever I want for the voices in your head." Jager says.
We could have everything Monologue says be spoken through a second mouth in the voice of a girlier Gilbert Gottfried.

We should totally do that.

Rolled 5

>>29028951
>[x]First release, just to be safe

stuff the stockings! WITH BLOOD

>>29028426
What kind of pizza?

>>29028951
Oh god, it's us, isn't it? It's future future Risa trying to stop future Risa from saving christmas for past Risa

>[X]First release, just to be safe
Hold the big guns back for now.

>>29029044
>>29028483
Smoked Gouda, feta cheese, canadian bacon.

Rolled 69

>>29028951
>[]Full release, hold nothing back when saving Christmas
MAXIMUM SAVING SANTA

Rolled 34

>>29028951
>[]Full release, hold nothing back when saving Christmas

Rolled 17

>>29028951
Rolling more because we seem to not have enough players.

Rolled 9

QM roll

>>29029067
I give your pizza a 7/10. Not bad, could be better.

But I'm not really a fan of feta.

>>29029201
Oho.

What a shitty night for combat.

Rolled 47

>>29028951
>[]First release, just to be safe
Remember pinkies out.

>>29029409
here here

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Highest 69, the most handholding of all

You release at once, biting down on your sword and saying the command as the iron warriors march towards you, their proud Union Jack making you mad. You leap towards one and give a kick, but find your foot blocked, so you spin off the ground and land a few meters away. You remember what your mother told you and leap forward again, the strange glass like armor of your body shining in the moonlight like some sort of arcing scythe as you slam your foot down into it's arm.

Of course, doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result is madness. But this time something is different. This time you are fighting like a chaste lady. Your pinky out, the kick has enough force to it to crack the metal arm in two, and send your foot home into the machine's 'head'. You land and make sure to keep your pinky out as you perform a sweeping kick on the ground, sending the metal warrior you fell beside straight into the earth while you slam your foot into it's head as well.

"Oh my how dreadful!" You note elegantly, keeping your pinky out and raising your British levels to near astronomical heights. "I must say, this is just the sort of thing the Duke was talking about when he visited my summer home in Brighton. Such a dreadful state these metal warriors are, but I suppose this is what happens when you let Europeans into England." You say.

"England is part of Europe!" Jager shouts firing countless spikes at the metal warriors, their dying forms being gathered by the still living for some purpose.

"Of course a German would say that. Don't lump us together with you lot. Look, there is the kingdom, and then there is the rest of you backwards people on the mainland." You explain firing a stream of balas with your pinkies out, your class far beyond what machine could ever muster.
(1/2)

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Sin-Fin frowns deeply. "What is... Europe?" She asks her cero trail covering the area in a black curtain as she sets her traps.

"Don't you get into this either Sin-Fin!" Jager shouts.

"Major Sin-Fin." Sin-Fin pouts.

"Fine, what ever, these things are not so tough!" Jager says.

"Say... Major Sin-Fin." Sin-Fin repeats.

"That's-" Jager starts as you kick the last of them to the ground, a giant pile of machinery and useless cogs spinning in place.

"There. now we killed your machine men!" Machines can't die. "Yes, machines bloody well can die, shut yer gob. So show yourself!" You demand to the orb, floating contently in place.

The high society laugh echos through the village again. "Do you really think so? Then tell me, why did you find no bodies?"

You are about to answer when the cogs and gears tremble and reassemble themselves. What one were a company of weaker robots now seems to be a larger, much stronger machine. It swings a heavy axe towards you and you nimbly roll out of the way, snow flying around you. You barely manage to keep your pinky out as you look at the hissing abomination of industrial age British steel. "Alright. Round two." You growl.

Please roll 1d100, best of first five
[]Stay first release
[]Go second release
[]Leave it to the others
[]Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>29029888

Stay first release.

Cero the crap out of it.

Rolled 99

>>29029888
>[]Stay first release
Group Cero?
Also did you know that Brighton is the gay capital of Europe?

>>29030022
I am not certain what you are implying

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>>29030022
It appears the gays were smiling on this dice roll.

Rolled 21

>>29029888
>[]Stay first release

Cero it to death

Rolled 19

>>29029888

[x]Stay first release

no reason to flip out over a slightly larger robot

>>29026506
God, Risa is best character

Rolled 52

>>29029888
Stay first release

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Rolled 94

>>29029888
>[x]Stay first release

kill the body and the head will die

>>29028985
agreed

>>29030077
Butt stuff, me thinks

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You leap into the air and slam your foot into the large machine, keeping your pinky extended and secure in the knowledge of the power it gives you. It stumbles back and tries to sweep a laser blade at you, but your ability to walk on the air gives you an advantage as you sonido away from the attack. You fire a stream of balas while Jager keeps on spiking it's joins and sin-fin lays a line of ceros under it. You dash down and grab the other two and then sonido back up into the sky.

"No one fucks with out Christmas!" You shout and charge up your cero.

Raw hollow energy boils forth, each on a different wavelength and crashing against each other, trying to find a place in the attack. Sin-Fins coiling, sickeningly dark energy slithers in rather inappropriate places around Jager's steadfast and solid energy while yours flares and jolts in random directions, following a dance of it's own making. As the massive machine takes another swipe at you as it regains it's balance it is too late. You all fire your ceros in a triangular formation, spinning around and coiling around each other. Violet, black, and grey, all coiling like a barbershop spiral, dancing and screaming as the energy begs for release.

It slams into the giant machine, and you hear the steel warp and pop as your power overwhelms even proper British steel. The beast staggers back one step, then two, right into a web of ceros which sends him flying forward. Your drill goes through his falling form, and then continues and slams into the massive shield and thick door protecting the main workshop. The dimensional energies short out the shield, forcing it to exist in a universe where protons create electricity and left is right. Physics gets fucked up. You land and look at the massive molten slag that is the workshop door. You give the bird to the now broken orb, crushed under the robotic warrior, then walk in, gingerly stepping over the ruins which steam hot in the cold air.
(1/4?)

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You walk through the darkened corridors, sin-fin standing close to you and Jager bringing up the rear, her eyes tracking carefully left to right, for any movement within the dark workshop. As you step deeper into the building, you smell the bitter stench of oil and molten steel. You hear the pleading voices of the elves and step in.

Within one of the alcoves off the main wall are several small elves, each of their tiny fingers red and black from making all the metal warriors. In the very center of the alcove is a force bubble of some sort, with a grey haired woman kneeling under it. In front of the bubble is a man dressed like an admiral of some sort, with a large hat with a feather in it. Lapels, and high boots. with a sophisticated look about him. He turns to you and gives a sharp click of his heels. "Wahaha! I see, so you managed to sneak into the building did you? Well, no matter, I the impeccable gentleman the adamant admiral shall send you to the-" He starts but you turn to sin-fin instead.

"Think she would look good in that?" You ask making her blink. I do dig the boots, but the jacket just looks like more work to take off of her. "Really? I thought you liked it when they were covered, you said it was a charm point." I also said that covering a man in boiling bacon fat and forcing him to call his mother while you sodomize him is a charm point. Seriously, no one on earth or otherwise can explain what gets me off. Don't test me. Plus, I would like to see her in a uniform with pantyhose. "So no good, huh?" You sigh.

"Excuse me madam! I am trying to explain why you are totally ruined since the day you crossed me! No matter, fleet make ready! Aim! Now that I have my ultimate attack ready I-" What's his face starts.
(2/4?)

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You sonido forward and deliver a bone shattering kick with to his knob. His eyes go white as he vomits, you perfectly moving your leg out of the way before it gets admiral goop all over it. He whimpers a little and you glare. "Stop chin waggin at me, I am trying to have a conversation with my brain." You explain taking his admiral hat. "This is mine now." You say putting it on.

"Risa, did you really have to go that far, I mean I feel bad that-" Jager starts but lets it go as she notices you are busy playing with your new hat. "Right. Excuse me, ma'am? Are you okay?' Jager asks walking over to the force bubble.

"Wh-What? Oh, oh deary me yes. Yes, thank you, that man kept singing the most awful song. Who are you girls? Are you here to help us?" She asks.

"Mrs. Santa." Sin-Fin says pointing at the woman.

"Oh, you can just call me Marth-" She starts but Sin-Fin doesn't listen.

Instead she walks over to you, where you are modeling the hat at various angles and with different symbols etched in it. She tugs on your tail gently making you turn to her. "Mrs. Santa." She says pointing her out.

"Excellent work Major Sin-Fin. Go see if she will bake us cookies! That was part of the myth right, Mrs. Santa makes cookies." You note and Sin-Fin nods.

She wanders over to the bubble and holds out her hands like a beggar. "Cookie." She mutters.

"Are those two, well, how should I say, alright?" Mrs. Santa asks and Jager frowns.

"She has a hat on. She is normally fairly controllable, but once she gets a hat she likes she sort of spirals out of control. We just have to wait till she gets bored of it. As for Sin-Fin-" Jager starts.

"Major Sin-Fin" She corrects. "Cookie." She begs again.

"-Right, that. She has always been sort of off. At least she isn't making people commit suicide though I guess." Jager shakes her head. "Anyway, how do we get you out of there?'
(3/4)

>>29031239
Its a well known fact that the triangle is the most powerful geometric shape.

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"The minions of that dreadful woman all have a key." She says as one of the elves toddles over to the prone admiral and grabs a red key off of him. He presents it to Jager. "Yes, that is it. A red key for red locks, green for green locks and white for white locks. You can unlock mine only when you have all three and-"

"Yeah, that doesn't work for me." You say, finally paying attention again.

You stride over the room and focus your energy on your hands again. You let the reality warping powers burn like a violet false sun, then point them at the bubble, angling it so Mrs. Santa will not get hurt. "Pandora Cero." You saw and a stream of violet reality warping energy spews forth from your hands and through the roof. The bubble breaks with a loud 'crack' and Mrs. Santa blinks in shock.

"How- But why did you." She says and narrows her eyes. "You are Risa Schrodinger, aren't you? And that young thing in there is monologue?" She asks.

"Mrs. Santa knows who we are." You point out. How cool is this?

"You are the one who kept flirting with me and my husband and sent that video to us, right? Honestly, you should be so far on the naughty list, but somehow you stay up there. Are you secretly sending more of those videos to my husband?" She asks.

"No, I am not." I am. "Monologue, be cool." You growl.

"Regardless, we still need the keys to open to krumpin door. And we need to free the reindeer! So focus on that while I try and help free the elves." She commands.

"Cookie." Sin-Fin asks, even sadder than before.

[]Fuck that, Door meet cero
[]Fine, I'll do the bloody side quest for the keys
[]I will go free the reindeer first. Best plan ever
[]Other, please specify
(4/4)

>>29031367
I wish to see this video

>>29031367
Hmm. I say reindeer. Jager should like that since two of the reindeer are fellow Germans.

>>29031367
>[x]Fine, I'll do the bloody side quest for the keys

HAHA Christmas Adventure!

What song(s) should we sing?

>>29031367
>[x]I will go free the reindeer first. Best plan ever
Whilst singing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPXWZxtDooY

>>29031446
Tis the season, cause some jolly fucker is blasting that shit and singing it outside my house

>>29031367

Free Reindeer first, best plan ever.

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If we use our illusion, I wanna trap some poor soul in a never ending loop of the Grandma got run over. just repeat this scene until suicide

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WS00z3YprYQ

>>29031367
Cookie first, then cero.

>>29031367
Reindeer.

Fun fact, male reindeer lose their antlers in the fall, only females retain them.

So Santa's reindeer? All chicks.

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"I can just pop off an murder- I mean, not murder. I mean." You feel the judgmental eyes of Mrs. Santa and the elves on you and you sigh. "Fine, I'll do the bloody side quest and save the reindeer and spread Christmas cheer to all the good boys and girls."

"When you say Christmas cheer..." Mrs. Saint Santa starts.

"I will make sure my tongue doesn't even scream." You grumble and Jager raises her eyebrow.

"What- What was on that video?" She asks.

"Lewd, my Jager bombs. The lewd of lewd." You answer

You dash out of the building, Sin-Fin giving a sad look back at the Mrs. Santa before she quickly follows with Jager. You slip through the iron warriors, swearing as they take swipes at you, yet resisting the urge to be distracted. You follow the smell of reindeer into a large stable where you s several force fields with different colored locks stopping the reindeer from escaping. In the center of the stable is a great bear of a man, his body covered in furs and totems. He stands to his full height, perhaps twelve feet, and looks down at you.

"I am the great hunter of the northern woods. To prove I am-" He starts for his speech becomes a shrill whine when your foot, again with the fury of ten thousand charging planets, slams into his knob.

He holds himself and tries to grab his weapon, but you kick forward again, this time feeling something become pulped under your kick. He soils his thick fur outfit in liquids best not thought about and you root around his stuff. You pull out a white key and nod happily.
(1/5)

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"Risa, I thought you were trying to avoid the naughty list?" Jager asks looking at the hunter laying on the ground.

"He is still totally alive. Like I said, I am able to resist my omnicidal urges to a point in order to stay on the nice list. I mean, I can't just kill some one on Christmas, it's like pooping in a public restroom. You just can't manage it on Christmas." You explain looking at the color coded keys. "Shit, are we color blind?" You ask.

"What? Since when were you color blind?" Jager asks. No, it's just hard for me as a text based entity to, er, never mind.

"Monologue, I am concerned as to your very nature since you did not finish that sentence. Could you maybe-" No time, Sin-Fin would look adorable on a reindeer.

You agree with me and start opening the locks you can, the reindeer slowly walking out and pawing at the ground. Sin-Fin looks fascinated at the majestic creatures and looking pleadingly towards Jager. Jager sighs and lifts the shorter woman onto one of the reindeer's backs and seems generally delighted. Or, at least as delighted as she can really get what with the whole "complete collection of human suffering" weighing on her.

At once your happy moment is quashed as a great blizzard rushes into the stable. It ruins the star and reindeer poop nativity scene you were making and forms a small snow being before you. The snow melts, showing a woman wearing only barely decent ice over her naughty parts and laughing, her blue hair and blue lipstick matching her eye perfectly. "I see you defeated my comrades! Of course, I would expect nothing less from a fellow-" She starts, but stops when you foot slams in between her legs.
(2/5)

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The ice covering her bottom half shatters, who the hell wears that to a super hero fight anyway? and she steps back a bit a tear in her eye. She glares at you and shouts "What did you do that for? Are you some sort of pervert?"

You blink and point at her "Jager, I kicked him in the knob but he didn't go down."

"That's a girl Risa." Jager explains.

"Oh, Really?" You nod. "I see, so it's a girl. Why is she wearing ice over her naughty parts?"

"She is a pervert Risa" Jager explains.

"I am the ice queen! The matron of winter! Here to return the land to darkness from whence we came! I am the Missus frost! I am the icy cold! I-" She says.

"-Am showing your under parts to everyone. Who wears ice to a super villain fight?" You ask again making the woman cover herself again.

"You perverted, disgusting, small minded dyke slutty-" She starts.

"If I can't kick you in the knob, hm. Guess I'll have to horror show your soul." You say.

"Carpet munching- wait what?" She blinks.

"What?" Jager asks looking at you.

"Reindeer's are... soft." Sin-Fin notes.

Your arm sprouts razor sharp teeth and extends into a tentacle like protrusion, screaming sin as eyes sprout from your flesh. Black miasma and the sweet stench of ichor and rot fills the stable as cracks form along your mouth, extending your mouth into something of a parody of a smile. Your whip like arm lashes out and coils around her ankle, grabbing the woman and digging the teeth into it, the bright red of blood spilling onto the straw floor. You bull her closer to you as your chest splits open, the echoing sounds of singing coming from the infinite maw that is your hunger. Faces, and weird shapes press out against your maw and the woman screams, sending ice towards you, but you are too fast. You pull her into the fanged maw and start whirling your inner body around her, adjusting to the icy treat. She screams, an inhuman, terrified scream that any being is born able to recognize as pure pain and terror.
(3/5)

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADbJLo4x-tk

You finish adjusting yourself and then make to hock a loogie, and instead spit out the green key. You show it to the others with a smile and Jager looks pale.

"I- I thought you wanted to stay on the nice list." She says and you nod.

"She isn't dead! I am just sort of keeping her in here. I was thinking about spitting her up once I got the key, but, well it is nice and cold. Like having a flavored ice cube on your tongue" You lick your lips as your cracks and breaks seal up. It's like Christmas for- Wait, it is Christmas. That explains it then.

"And that song?" Jager asks.

"It's the little drummer boy." You reply.

You stride into Santa's home and find Mrs. Santa with the elves in front of a giant door. Carved on it are images of joy and Christmas and across the top it says "Abandon all grump, ye who enter here." The reindeer are behind you, Sin-Fin pleased while riding them, being careful to keep her elbow and knee blades away from the animals.

"Ah, you made it. With the keys! Now make ready, because once we open this door, you will have to face the dark mastermind behind this operation." Mrs. Santa says.

"Yeah, floating orb." You stare dramatically at the door. No, not orb. We went over this already. "I am pretty sure it is floating orb."

Mrs. Santa puts the keys in the door and it opens, the raw magic of Christmas filling the room. In a giant snow globe in the corner, chained within is Santa. The old saint is gritting his teeth against the pain of having all his cheer taken from him, but you can tell he isn't going to hold out. In front of the globe, and surrounded by countless machinery, is the mastermind behind the schemes. She lifts a clawed hand to her steely eyes and rubs away her fatigue before turning to you. She lifts her cup of tea and takes a sip as you realize what we knew all along.
(4/5)

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"As I suspected. Robo-Thatcher." You growl, clenching your fist.

The iron lady of England, now more iron than ever before, takes a deep drink of her tea as she glares at you, pure hate in her eyes but proper British etiquette preventing her from acting on it.

"Risa Schrodinger, I should have know you would know it was me who-" She starts but Jager interrupts.

"You didn't think it was her. You didn't even sort of think it was her. You thought it was a floating orb behind all of this." She points out.

"Yeah, but, you know, robo-thatcher was like, in my top twenty, or twenty five choices for who could be behind this." You counter, feeling a lice cold feeling on your tongue and shivering slightly, your eyes hazing over for a minute.

"No, at twenty it is just a guess, and not even a likely guess. Why is she a robot?" Jager demands.

"Well, I don't know. Because she is the iron lady probably?" You ask.

Jager pouts angrily. "That isn't what that phrase means."

What do you do?
[]British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans
[]Attack!
[]Leave it to the others
[]Just leave
[]Other, please specify
(5/5)

>>29032776
Oh my

>>29032861
>[X]British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans
Can we give the ice queen to rape sloth?

>>29032861
>British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans

It's the truth.

>>29032884
Only once monologue is done. Never make a quasi omnipotent voice in your head unhappy. Just ain't done.

>>29032861
>[]British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans

"so who had the bigger dick? Regan or you?"

>>29032861
>[]British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans
MANNERS!

>>29032861
>Robo-Thatcher

Didn't see that one coming.

>[X]British manners demands we take tea with the enemy and discuss her wicked plans

Curse our ancestry and history of polite conversation. Well, polite conversation and subjugating natives. And subjugating the poor. Really, it's more subjugation than politeness for the most part.

>>29032905
Oh god, the Ice queen is in his/her Weaboo pit isn't she? May god have mercy on her soul

>>29032940
All those times before we were dealing with filthy foreigners. Now that we are dealing with a fellow Englishman a certain amount of etiquette is to be expected.

>>29032979
Serves her right for not wearing any drawers.

>>29033034
Think we could use her as a make shift fridge?

>>29033070
That might require sticking her into inventory, but I don't see why not.

>>29033106
I meant like one of those mini fridges lazy fucks use so they don't have to leave their rooms for refreshments.

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>>29033070
>>29033106

maybe.. how's her storage potential? Energy use?

>>29033145
Depends on if her body follows the laws of physics or not. If it does we could either use her as a novelty or use her to keep a small room eternally frozen. If she starts running low on energy we could feed her some scrubs and see if anything happens.

IT just dawned on me that this is a Risa's attempt at writing a children's book about how she saved Christmas. It is amazing.

>>29032861

Brittish Manner demandsyou take tea wait your enemy and discuss her wicked plans.

>>29033205
Well, Risa's body is non-euclidian and almost limitlessly malleable. We could always just hook her up to a big room and have a walk in freezer in the upper portion of the chest cavity. Maybe throw in a TV and a DVD player so she doesn't get bored.

>>29033380
But then she might complain about the noise when we're fighting, like an annoying neighbor. Unless we get some duct tape

>>29033420
I don't think soundproofing would be too hard.

>>29033526
We get the shit kicked out of us, suddenly we vomit out thousands of egg cartons and a very angry ice queen

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Were you dealing with the Japanese, or any of those Europeans or, god forbid, the Yanks you could just cero her now and be done with it. However she is a proper English lady, much like yourself, and thus a certain level of class is required. Then again she hasn't said the magic words yet.

You sonido over to her, half a step away, charging your cero energy, making ready to strike. So close now, just so close! "Join me for some tea dear?" She asks taking a sip.

You freeze, and growl. You think over the offer weigh the pros and cons, then take a seat across from her. "I would be delighted, thank you very much." You say.

Jager watches as Robo-thatcher pours you a cup and sets it in front of you. She watches you make some small talk about the brand, a Typhoo you believe, and discuss how rare it is to get some proper tea in the company of savages. She points at her and shouts "Risa, cero the woman already!"

You shush her and take a relaxing sip. "If it's not too forward, I must say how surprising it was to see you working with those individuals."

"Well, one has to find help where one can. They were willing to work for pretty much anything, you know how it is with foreigners." She says.

"Quite oh, but the Admiral seemed quite British." You note keeping your back straight.
(1/3)

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"Ah, him. Poor boy lost all his holdings. The economic climate is so harsh." She sighs. "But that is the sacrifice we have to make for the greater good of the nation."

"Quite." You note.

"Indeed." She returns.

"S-Some one help me. I am losing all my-my cheer." Santa moans.

"Oh, do be quiet dear, we are trying to have some tea. I swear, those socialists are always looking for a handout." She shakes her head sadly.

"So that's your plan then? Monopolize all of Santa's industry and his magic in order to, what? Restore the empire? Crush the savages?" You ask.

"You mean educate them deary, educate them. It is a simple matter of supply and demand but I can't take credit for it. My dear friend Reagan and I came up with it many years ago while laughing at the mentally unfit from a balcony in London." She nods.

"Oh? Ronald Reagan? Never had the pleasure, but I have heard only wonderful things." You say, as etiquette demands.

"Bit forceful, but you want that sort of attitude in a gentleman." She notes.

"Quite witty." You say.

"Just so." She agrees taking another sip of tea.

"Risa! Make with the murder!" Jager shouts.

"That young lady is quite-" Robo-thatcher starts.

"German." You explain.

"Ah, that will do it." She sighs. "I assume you killed my soldiers?"

"No, they are still alive though two wish they weren't and one is," You close your eyes and get a vague feeling. "Very happy she is? Monologue?" You ask. I am sorry, the monologue you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please try again later.
(2/3)

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"Quite polite of you." She notes.

"One has to have some measure of class around their lessers." You explain.

She nods understanding and takes a sip of tea. and you two enjoy the silence, apart from the staggeringly rude screaming from Santa, and let the tea mature a bit. "So," You finally say, content. "Why isn't the queen supporting you if you are doing so much?"

"bah, that fool woman. Don't see the tree for the forest. So many threats young lady. England needs us." She says.

"Don't you mean you?" You ask.

"No, no! Self driven strong women." She puts her tea cut down a bit more forceful than she intended with her massive robot claws. "Don't you see Risa? We could be the rulers of this new world." She explains and you see a small drop spill over the edge of her cup and slowly start sliding down. "We could take this power, and establish a new England, a proper, imperial England! We could crush the poor and the weak and make sure only the strong continue!" She explains, the drop so close now. "What do you say, risa schro-"
(3/4)

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Your fist slams into her face, sending her spiraling back into the large machine workshop. She howls as electricity flares around her and you see her false skin burn in some places, revealing the robotic visage underneath. "You spilled your tea!" You point out firing ceros into the robotic form taking shape, her body much stronger than the others.

You fight her, kicking and spinning around her strong robotic movements, but Thatcher is wise to your tricks. "Shall I stand here and battle with you Schrodinger? I think not! I have read the files on you!"

She slams a robotic claw into a large red button, and you hear warning klaxons going off. You look around and realize it must have been the self destruct. Thatcher starts to run.

But Santa is still trapped.
[]Go after thatcher, the others can handle Mr. Claus
[]Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day
[]Bug out right now! No need to wait around
[]Other, please specify
(4/4)

>>29033831
SAVE SANTA

>>29033831
>Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day

We really gotta have SOME recurring enemies.

>>29033831
>[x]Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day

Thatcher has to not die every time while we only have to kill her once

>>29033831
>[x]Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day

If it were anything else, we'd go after her. But if Santa's on the line? No way.

>>29033831
>[]Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day
This is what we get for not having our pinkies out.

>>29033831
>[X]Save Santa, your old enemy will be there another day

Duh

>>29033831
Not much of a Christmas Story if we don't save Santa right proper.

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"Who puts a bloody self destruct button in their toy workshop?!" You demand dashing over to the large globe.

You smash your foot into the glove and find it rebuffed off. Jager and Sin-Fin run over and start whaling on the large globe but to little effect. You hear a countdown start, well, counting and you look to the others. "Get them out of here! I'll save Santa!"

"But what about you?" Jager asks trying to stab a spike into the glob but finding no purchase.

"If everyone dies then Christmas is ruined forever, now go!" You command and Sin-Fin leads the charge on her herd of Reindeer, Jager, Mrs. Santa, and the elves all following after.

You stand there dumbfounded for a moment then shake your head. "Weren't they all supposed to kiss me? Like, the hero making the dramatic sacrifice and I can't even get a snog?" You had an eye on some of the elves? "Elf 294 had some moves, what can I say?"

You look at the solid globe as sparks fly out of everywhere around you and know what you have to do. You stab your claws into your hollow hole and pull, ripping off your body like a shell, the remains turning into multicolored butterflies. You coat your second release limbs in raw cero energy and start slamming them into the globe. The building rumbles and you know that means the building is close to self destructing. Cracks form in the globe, slowly breaking under your assault. It finally breaks and Santa, surprisingly buff, falls into your arms. You judge the distance of the door and start running without sonidoing because, you know, like whiplash or something.

You run past the alcoves full of sparks and explosions, and make your way to the large door, slowing to a jog at the end because it's like, you know, far and stuff. A roar of flame erupts behind you and you dash once again, just ahead of the fireball you launch yourself into the snow on the ground, the explosion sending you several meters over the ground, to rest in front of the tree.
(1/4)

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"Christmas is saved!" You shout raising your fist to the air, and around you the elves erupt into cheering.

-----------------------------------------------

You look around the north pole as the elves get back to their jobs, time being slowed within a large bubble so that they can catch up. Sin-Fin seems to be whispering things to the reindeer, and they as a group turn their heads to stare at you. You never thought it would be possible to be terrified of them, but you think sin-fin is teaching them well. Jager is drinking a troublingly large amount of liquor, but as she has not yet found any reason to believe this was real you can forgive her.

"Well monologue, I think we made it." You say nodding happily. Quite so, ready to roll? "Yeah." You say as I push the Christmas miracle button to get us back home and-

Nothing happens. You blink as you look around the north pole and frown. "Hey, what the hell monologue? I don't want to have to wait a few more hours to get back to my time. Make with the magic." You demand. I tried, it didn't work. You got your time slut juice all over my button, is what it is you cock monger. "More like you couldn't contain your lust around the snow harlot and now it has finally caught up with us!" You shout and sigh. "No, okay, what would have gotten us on the naughty list?"

You think and you realize something. The Admiral was still in the building when it went off, and as a result you indirectly killed him. On Christmas. "Son of a whore!" You should scratching your head, your long hair swaying back and forth. "Now how do we get back home?" You ask.

"Something wrong with taking the long way around?" Santa asks walking over to you.
(2/4?)

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"It's not just that. I mean, I could accept that. But I tried being good Santa. I tried to save Christmas and I kept the faith in you. I even sent those videos which-" You catch a look from Mrs. Santa as she hands Sin-Fin some fresh cookies. "-I agreed to never talk about again, yet I still ended up on the naughty list. Because of a jerkish admiral who was doing bad guy evil stuff."

"Oh, Risa. You are too hung up on what is naughty and nice! Do you think you did good?" He asks stroking his beautiful beard.

"Yeah? I tried being good." You say.

"Then what more could I ask of you!" He says and you sigh, accepting you could never be that good. He sees your sad expression and strokes his beard a bit more before nodding. "You know, Risa, I think there is a present for you under the tree."

You blink as you walk over to the massive pine and look around. Buried under the snow, deep in the remains of scorched earth, is a small pink box with a violet bow. You look confused towards Santa who gestures for you to open it up. You open the box and find a small gem of time. You look confused at the object, picking it up and having it play with the light, then you feel a tingle of raw pleasure shoot through you, and the gem becomes absorbed.

RESTORE: FATEBREAKER 1

"How- But this is-" You start and Santa laughs, that great happy laugh.

"It was one of your gifts for being a good girl this year! While being good is certainly it's own reward, it's nice to have some one else notice how much you try." He explains, and you note you still have your stylish hair.

"Thank you Santa. But we will still need to find a way back around the angel blockade. Pretty sure Lucifer was a one way trip." You frown and Santa nods.

"I called an old friend about that. Get ready." He says mysteriously.
(3/4)

>>29034649
It's a Christmas miracle.

Also does that mean that this actually happened?

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You find Sin-Fin by the Reindeer and have to wait as she insists on giving every single one a hug goodbye, then collect Jager, more dragging her than helping her along. You wait by the large tree and hear something in the distance. No, not distance like others might recognize it, but distance in a way only you can tell. A great, lumbering wheezing sound as something materializes behind you. You found your way home.

---------------------------

"And this, my scrubs, is how Jager, Sin-Fin and I saved Christmas." You explain nodding happily.

"Where did the sunglasses come from?" 42 asks, as astute as ever.

You feel the sunglasses and the hula skirt and remember. "Oh, well, my time stuff got in the other time stuff, and we had a bit of a detour. Well, not a detour since we arrived when we needed to, but we went someplace else and somewhere else a few times until we got it right. No biggy." You explain.

"I didn't get the reference at the end. Hey, wolf tits, that really happen?" Ryoko asks sitting in front of the hollow pack.

"I just. Maybe, that's all I can say anymore kid. Just maybe." She says walking off.

"Well, I am sure you believe it at least sensei. Come on everyone, let's open our gifts." Ryoko says leading the pack away. Once you are alone you suddenly remember something
(4/5)

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"Which reminds me." You note. Your chest cavity splits open and spews the ice queen onto the ground, twitching and spasming, her ice outfit long since melting away. Her body is flushes and she is covered in fluids best left undisclosed. You point your fingers at her and glare. "Behave next time. And wear a bloody jumper." You command and she sits up.

She clasps her hands together as if in prayer and looks at you with strange eyes. "Yes, onee-sama."

"She hurt her knee?" You ask me. Who knows? I can barely keep track of what usually happens without the time shenanigans. Plus it's Christmas, I am taking a holiday.

"Fair enough." You nod and make your way to the tree, a skip in your step and a song in your heart.

You are sure it will be the best Christmas ever

HOLLOW QUEST REDUX CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 1 END
(5/5)

Well, how did you like this one over last? As always around for questions, concerns, comments, etc.

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>>29034723

YAYIFICATIONS

>>29034723
>Ryoko hangs out with non aranacar hollows
What.

>>29034757
do we fight the Grinch next year?

>>29034775
>Implying 42 didn't arrancar up.

>>29034757
It was pretty good, though it didn't really feel like much of a quest, more a long and strange rambling story.

But you're very good at long, strange, and rambling, so I didn't mind.

>>29034757

I enjoyed it.

It reminds us that Risa is a monster, but a lovable monster.

As a mum though she could take lessons from Step Monster.

>>29034757
>Mecha-Thatcher is supprise final boss confirmed.

>>29034757
Can we keep the ice queen?

>>29034817
Luppi has an ice friend!

>>29034798
>42 is an arrancar
What.
Can he do things?

>>29034836
What does he look like?

>>29034836
Are there 42 of him?

>>29034778
He can not withstand our christmas cheer. Nothing can. Actually we would probably help the grinch, fuck the whos down in whoville.
>>29034801
I was trying to tell it from Risa's/monologues shifting perspective. Just thought it might be fun that way, and I was going to have more combat, but honestly during Christmas it just felt strange to have it
>>29034813
Mecha-Thatcher was always the BBEG
>>29034817
Sure
>>29034836
He is probably pure competency. He is like a mid level office worker with perfect sanity in an office made of crazy people
>>29034836
>>29034851
>>29034856
If I do a second christmas special soon I will reveal him, otherwise I will just do it when hollow quest resumes at our normal schedule.

>>29034872
Happy Kawanzaa Azure!

>>29034872
I assume 42 has a tacky tie, that the Ice queen will want to bunk with us, and the grinch is actually our father

>>29034928
The grinch is the doctor, the ice queen ntrs you with Luppi, and 42 has to dress in different funny costumes to amuse the suicidal queen of the reindeer

>>29034960
I believe the last one

>>29034960
>42 can amuse Sin-Fin
Where is 42 getting all these new powers?

>>29034757
It was great

>>29035050
Isn't obvious, Outrunning rape sloth

>>29034960
Waaaaaaait we're half timelord?

>>29035050
He lives in the palace with perhaps some of the most dangerous and unstable individuals in several dimensions.

He gets a work out.

Thanks for the run! I enjoyed the change of pace, definitely a good detox thread after the last blowup.

>>29035064
>42 can outrun rape sloth
42 fastest hollow confirmed?

>>29035129
instantaneous teleportation?

I'm calling it now. 42 can do anything.

>>29035186
Anything necessary, nothing important.

I need to make a list of the things Risa got for Christmas.

42 gave you Bastidores Furiosus' new album. With disturbingly modern lyrics.
Sin-Fin gave you a sewn doll of you and her holding hands
Jager gave you a terrifyingly powerful watergun
Dominic gave you a statue of himself. The abs double as a grater.
You did not open Rape sloth's gift, because you knew it would be rape
Monologue have you a photo album filled with interesting photos.
Caede gave you a military officer's hat you think she probably took from a nazi corpse back in the 40s(everyone knows hitler had demons on his side.)

Can't remember what else I had an idea for gifts.

>>29035247
Can we use rape sloth's gift against our enemies

>>29035280
You fear touching it. Much like the nuclear bomb triggering could have world ending side effects, but it is a thing you can do.

>>29035247
>Bastidores Furiosus' new album. With disturbingly modern lyrics.

He didn't die, he just evolved into a being of pure energy. Just like Tupac

>>29035347
Just like Tupac.

>>29035316
What if we just pushed someone into the box full of rape? Or suplexed them into it.

>>29035371
Only use the box in an extreme emergency, is all I'm saying

>>29035399
SO the soul king/ Iron thatcher

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>>29035360
is he also in a crystal like Tupac?

>>29035247

What did we get people, besides the saving of Christmas.

Did we get a nice present for Ryouichi in our effort to prevent him from going full darkside?

We should give him something motherly, like knit him a scarf or sweater...

>>29035463
Or a dog

>>29035471
Somehow I don't think that dog would last long.

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>>29035471
Here's a puppy! Don't sodomize or kill it

>>29035528
Get him a corgi, Nothing could harm a corgi

>>29035463
I don't think we can knit.
>>29035535
Dude will rape the shit out of a corgi

Maybe we can get him a car. Boys like cars.

>>29035554
He'd rape that car too and you know it.

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>>29035582
Then give him a corgitaur

>>29035582
Ge that dude a VW bug. No one can rape a bug.

Rolled 7 + 3

>>29035606
can you rape a bicycle?

>>29035463
We apparently got Sin-Fin a hammock?

I should say if you want to decide on christmas gifts for everyone I will certainly move to include them in future threads.

>>29035626
An extraordinarily comfortable hammock in remarkable condition.

>>29035626
Bitches love hammocks.
>>29035616
You could try.

>>29035627

We definitely need to get Ryouichi that Corgi. Teach him responsibility, empathy, and love.

Jagerbombs should get a subscription to Soldier of Fortune.

Akira should get a deck of Tarot cards, because fuck him and his probably being aware of the bad future we let happen because we told Ryouichi we murdered his parents.

Ryoko...we get her Pam from Archer's perfect day but with more booze? We just throw a few kegs and condoms at her.

>>29035627
I vote that
Ice queen gets the gift of not being dead
42 gets a ten hour video of various torture techniques you can inflict upon fish while on a unicycle
Jager gets a pile of dead scrubs and a note that says murder presents
caede gets a set of Dnd rule books
Monologue gets some weird hentai
Dominic gets a a punching bag shaped like the moon
Sin fin gets a assortment of silly hats
Rape sloth gets an all expense paid trip to bangkok
the human scrubs get a bunch of random shit we bought on the way their
lucifer gets an offering of a human child

>>29035764
>>29035711
Ok I replace my vote of a bunch of random shit for the humans for this guys idea of gifts for the humans

>>29035627
I feel like we should get something nice for Jager.

Like steal the Imperial Regalia of Japan.

>>29035897
We should give her one free coupon for one day of doing she wants to do

>>29035917
Just one?

I'd say at least nine.

Or how about we go to the world of the living with her and hang out since the Shinigami are no longer really a problem.

We can buy her dinner, like.. steak and shit.

Also sneak into a sports game of some kind.

>>29036077
Actually speaking of steaks, let's get her a good slab of Kobe beef.

Might as well get a delicacy from this miserable clump of islands.

>>29036107

You want rare Japanese beef, you get Mishima beef, not Kobe.

>>29036123
Does it taste better?

Also are we just going to pull a cow out of our pants and kill it in front of her?

>>29036163

They talked it up as a delicacy and delicious when it was the theme ingredient on the first Iron Chef I saw many many many years ago.

>>29026389
is this archived?

>>29036208
yiss

>>29036191
Iron chef is law.

I've just read through the thread. It was the most laugh i had in a quest thread in a while, was really fun. Good old Risa with her shenanigans.

>>29035247
>Sin-Fin gave you a sewn doll of you and her holding hands
Do not let monologue get anywhere near that doll.

>>29035316
Give it to Ryouichi. Tell him a friend saw him back in the day and now asked you to pass this christmas gift to him.
I'd actually like it more if we gave it to akira but his damned allknowing eye would safe him from its horror. So it would be a waste.

>>29038125
You can trust your pants. Your pants keep things more or less secure.

>>29034960
>Implying the Snow Queen is not pregnant with our demonic child

Condoms? The fuck are those?

>>29035316
>>29035247
Get Ryouchi and Snow Queen to open it. They like the attention.

>>29038229
'sides, she knows better than to betray her Onee-sama. Monologue scares even me sometimes. Unless monologue is in a period of ntr fetish, than the ice-queen should be fine, probably, you can never be sure with monologue.

>>29038249
She just needs someone to treat her right.

>>29038265
Monologue will treat her right. Damn right

>>29038373
>Just monologue treating her right.
Nigga, you gay.

>>29036782
Chairman Kaga has never led me astray before.