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"Charlotte? You ready? We have to go!"

>Coming! ~<3

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>Just had to grab a couple of things!

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You are now Neckbeard again.

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"So, tell me."
"What was the real reason you came in here?"
"Anyone who comes in here usually has a reason.."

>>29607553
"I forget. Hot dickings, I think?"

Take a second look at what this guy has behind the counter.

>>29607553
Wait.

Why is the mask off?

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>>29607844

>I forget. Hot dickings, I think?
"You sure it wasn't to devour human flesh?"
He then mumbles under his breath on how he had better dickings than that.

He has more stock, like a variety of charms, masks, and other objects of interest. He also has a few unopened boxes behind his desk.

>>29607998

You never put the mask on, and you took the mask from him.

>>29608730
Blush. "I-I can do a bit of that too if you want..."

Check the boxes.

>>29608800

>I-I can do a bit of that too if you want...
"No thank you."

You pull up the boxes onto the counter, there are three. One big, one medium, one small. The Charm Dealer is just standing there, watching.
Which one do you open first?

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>>29609142

thanks capcha

>>29609142
Go big or go home.

>>29609142
>Big one.

>>29609142
BIG BIG BIG!

Open them all. Fuck it!

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>>29609142

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>>29609232
>>29609572
>>29610082

You open the big box, it contains:

An expired enchant scroll
Unsold spellbooks
A few robot porno magazines
A couple of crystal dice
A doll's torso
A dragon dildo
And about fifty granny porn dvds.

>>29611336
Examine spellbooks

>>29611336
Roll dice
Examine spellbooks

>>29611336
Examine the robot porno magazine.

Rolled 4

>>29611336
Read the spellbook out loud

>>29611336
Attach the dragon dildo to the doll torso and go to town while watching the DVDs.

>>29611336
Attempt to cast spells from spellbook, using dragon dildo as wand and granny porn as material components. No matter what material components are listed, use granny porn.

>>29611336
Make mental note to raid local TV station and swap evening news broadcast for granny porn.

Rolled 17

>>29612183
>Make mental note to raid local TV station and swap evening news broadcast for granny porn.
Not just evening news, replace every show with granny porn.

>>29611448
>What does this shit say here...
>I... What? What does this even... damn wizards. Whatever, let's just see what happens.
>"Al'whya al Cthulhu fhatagan. K'kili'far al is ar'arkas fal dep'wa."

>>29612501
>Nuf erutuf rof riah ydnas, nus tresed eht sa ydnas

>>29612592
>Tresed eht retaw llahs klim ruoy

>>29612501
>>29612592
>>29612689
And then we summoned a Shoggoth with sandy blonde hair and c-cups.

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>>29611384
>>29611448

You had decided to do both, read the magazine and the spellbook. However, you are having a hard time translating the spells.

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>>29611500

You ready your dragon dildo wand and the granny porn material components on the counter.

Well, what spell do you read outloud?

>>29613900
Momentarily wonder how this is promoting our villainous agenda. Cast a divination to find the Oni and the shrine maid.

Rolled 13

>>29613900
Cast the summon meatbread spell.

>>29613983
Seconding this.

>>29613900
Bump.

>>29616031
Don't need to bump yet. Don't worry mate.

We can coast just fine for two hours or more, most of the time.

>>29614366
thirding the dubs

>>29618422
It's been hours without an update. Pretty sure Teli got distracted.

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>>29614366

You ready your dildo wand and prepare to cast a divination spell.

>>29619411
God damn it, man, what happened to you?

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Nothing happened.

"Do you need help?"

>>29619517
yes please

>>29619517
"Yes."

>>29619517
"Ja."

>>29619517
N-no! I'm sure this happens to lots of guys!

>>29619517
"You should have offered in the first place, minion."

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>>29619576
>>29619652

>Yes, you should have offered in the first place, minion.

"Well, I wasn't sure you were trying to cast a spell or play with my trash."

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"Now, what did you need casted?"

>A divinity spell.

"Okay, first, you'll need something with a reflection."
The dealer grabs one of the DVDs and takes the disk out of the case.
"This will do."

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"Then I'll etch in the spell with black ink.."

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"Then voila, spell's good to use for a few minutes."
"Just look into it with the subject in mind."

>>29620493
>Locate minion Anon

>>29620493
Locate the source of all locations

>>29620493
>find ogre and shrine maiden

>>29620493
Think deeply about our own anus.

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>>29620608
Of fucking course this is the first even numbered post.

>>29620635
The ogre's horn was once one with our anus my fellow neckbeard.

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>>29620608

You thought deeply about your own anus. This is very interesting.

>>29621014
well
uh
can I get redos?

Holy shit this is happening while I'm awake

....Today is a good day /tg/

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>>29621092

>Well.
>Uh.
>Can I get redos?

"Well, yeah. We have 49 disks left."

Charm Dealer prepares another divinity spell. What or who do you have in mind?

>>29621014
>find ogre and shrine maiden

>>29621173
>Find anon

>>29621173
Find the gods of all ogres - Shrek.

Accidentally waste about a dozen disks or so by continuing to think about our own butt before moving on to the oni and shrine maiden.

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>>29621176

It appears they're taking a rendezvous point through a cat sanctuary park before hitting up the train.

>>29621385
"You! Bemasked deviant servant man! Where is this park!?"

>>29621385
>"Do you know this guys? The ogre me one"

>>29621385
Find out where the park is. We have a train to catch.

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>>29621418

>You! Bemasked deviant servant man!

"... I'm the only other person here."

>Where is this park!?

"Not too far from the city's lurking facility, students usually go there during lunch breaks or regroup after a day of lurking in /tg/. Now give back my kiseru, that is the only thing that helps me deal with this painful reality I live in."

>>29622317
return it
have him led you to the park

>>29622317
"You want me to return your kiss? You randy bastard... no! Now lead me to the park!"

>>29622317
"Your what, now?"

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>>29622338

You are pretty sure a Kiseru is 'kiss' in whatever fucked up language he speaks.

>>29622358

>You want me to return your kiss?
>You randy bastard... no!
>Now lead me to the park!

Your new minion sighed and shaked his head, and you two move out.

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Most of the way is uneventful, especially with some of the denizens starting to rush into their homes or immediately hide from you.

Check status and continue on as Neckbeard?

>>29623038
Look, I know it must be hard for you right now, not being nestled in my neck fluff. But you can get your kisses AFTER we deal with the dynamic duo who put a goddamn arrow in my head.

Now while we're on the way to that park, what the hell was in that pipe? Shit was good.

>>29623064
Sure, let's continue as beardy.

>>29623064
Let's keep going with Neckbeard, but after a quick status check.

Let's go to the bakery too and recruit our meal tic- I mean, the catgirl.

>>29623064
Thanks as always, Teli. G'night.

Bump

>>29623064
Going to second >>29623109

It's catgirl time.

>>29623064
head to the park with new deviant minion and any magical chamy shit to counter the slut maiden whatever the fuck and head to the park for that soul we said we would give beelzebro

>>29627121
Yes this is what we should do, i agree with this gentleman

>>29623064
god I just want to violently rape and kill the ogre and maiden and sacrifice their souls to beelze

>>29627506
Bump

Bump

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Let's check our status anyway!

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>>29623090

>Look, I know it must be hard for you right now, not being nestled in my neck fluff.
>But you can get your kisses AFTER we deal with the dynamic duo who put a goddamn arrow in my head.

"Ugh."

>Now while we're on the way to that park, what the hell was in that pipe? Shit was good.

"Opium, sir."

>>29631205
Retrieve catgirl. Hunt ogre. Give charm dealer crack pipe.

>>29631228
Hunt ogre like chittinous bloodhound.

Rolled 14

>>29631228
Get more Opium.

>>29631228
yes we shall get more of this OP-yum after the business with the maiden ond orge is done and if your good i might let you have some too while you lay back against my fluffy beard, you deviant you.

>>29631449
I concur with the plan this fellow has put forward.

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>>29631330

You requested more Opium from your minion. He obliges, pulling out a small box full of the drug and refilled your pipe.

>>29631480

>Yes, we shall get more of this OP-yum.. After the business with the maiden and ogre is done.
>And if you're good, I might let you have some too while you lay back against my fluffy beard, you deviant you~

Charm Dealer did his best to hold back an annoyed groan.

You are now in the Cat Sanctuary Park, but no signs of the duo around yet. Do you look around the park or head straight to the train?

Rolled 1

>>29632230
Give his opium pipe back to the charm dealer and look around the park.

Hunt them down. Give your minion a drag.

>>29632230
Get high on opium and forget where you are.

>>29632334
>>29632334
God damn it, dice gods.

Rolled 1

>>29632334
rolling to counter the effects of op-yum
1 it has no effect
2 it does

>>29632230
Look around cat park. They might be somewhere, due to their non-malicious nature, doing nice things with cats and whatnot.
We also might be able to find that catgirl baker from earlier.
More companions = more damage

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>>29632334

You take a nice long drag and..

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>>29632528

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You end up as a coughing mess instead of getting high.

"I'll just hang onto this for now on."

Rolled 16

>>29633839
Start to wander in the park while keeping the charm dealer close.

>>29633839
fuck it
go to the train

>>29633839
Hunt down our horn suppository.

>>29633839
now that we have puffed and passed lets get that pure maiden soul before she gets away. all we had to do was follow the damn train CJ

>>29633839
Are we being stalked by a cat or what

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>>29633978

You and the charm dealer rush toward the station. The train doesn't arrive until 1:10 pm and doesn't board passengers until 1:30 pm. It is currently 12:45 pm.

There, you see the Maiden and Ogre patiently waiting. What is your plan of attack?

>>29635175
Shopkeeper goes up and offers them his wares, while we creep behind them once attention has been caught. We initiate the battle with a totally not cowardly attack to their backs, and then pretty much pummel them from both sides.

>>29635175
get our sex-crazed servant to evaluate the two and if they have any magic things on them, followed by how we might deal with them most effectivly.

Rolled 17

>>29635175
Throw a rock at her.

>>29635284
Seconding.

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>>29635284

Charm Dealer evaluates the two. He whispers,
"Haunted bow, spell cards, sake go-"

>>29635815
got it
go with >>29635253

Rolled 2

>>29635815
Wait, haunted bow?

Lets eat it to find out what is haunting it

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>>29635318

BATTLE INSTIGATED

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>>29635864

It's your turn.

>>29635928
bind the maiden in tongue tentacles
arrows hurt and I don't want her shooting them

>>29635928
Beardy, try to intimidate. You came back from the dead. They should be scared. Attack the shrine maiden with tongues while humming Don't Fear the Reaper with the most sinister expression possible.

Not-So-Happy Mask Salesman, go for the ogre. Burn his horn stump with your pipe.

Rolled 1

>>29635928
Eat her bow.

Rolled 72

>>29635928
Charm Dealer: Blow Smoke at Oni for confusion.

Beardy: Lick

>>29635966
seconding the dubs
plus on next turn we can try to swallow her whole

I don't have a vore fetish

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Rolled 2

>>29635966

Rolling for success..

>>29636098
BUENO

>>29636020
Clever.

>>29636063
Not yet you don't.

Do we really want to eat her though? Or do we just want her soul? She looks like a loli to me, and you can never tell where they've been.

Speaking of soul harvesting, now that we have an enchanter, maybe we should get ourselves a scythe and enchant it with the ability to reap souls.

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Missed! She dodges your grapple!

"Ooh, I knew you'd come back, demon!"

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>>29636058

Charm Dealer draws in long, then exhaling at the Ogre, temporarily blinding him for 1 turn.

Rolled 2

>>29636290
Lets violently lick that ogre.

Rolled 24

>>29636290
Beardy: Arrow Catch with tongue.

Charm Dealer: Charm the ogre.

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Rolled 32

Opponents turn.

"Ghost, wake up!"
"Nnn? Oh!"

Shrine Maiden casts magic arrow!
Ogre misses a turn.

>>29636331
>Disarm maiden.

>>29636273
Glad to be back! Now, this is nothing personal, but I'm going to have to reach into the back of your skull and rip out your soul. It's a mostly painless process, I assure you.

Rolled 59

>>29636331
Eat her bow.

>>29636380
Is that how we take souls? I had forgotten.
In that case, it's probs best to try and immobilize her again

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Rolled 1

>>29636372

>Glad to be back! Now, this is nothing personal, but I'm going to have to reach into the back of your skull and rip out your soul. It's a mostly painless process, I assure you.

You send out a tongue tentacle again, this time after her bow.
Rolling for success.

>>29636533
since the ghost from the possesed armor seems to be in the bow perhaps we will get a soul from devouring it?

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Success! You took her bow!

>>29636617
DEVOUR THE SOUL WITHIN

Rolled 10

>>29636617
COSUME

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It is still your turn.

Rolled 1

>>29636617
Eat the bow.

Rolled 12

>>29636660
err meants CONSUME

>>29636667

haha!
Can we do shit with the soul in the bow?
Try giving it to beelze or something

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>>29636680

You sank your teeth into the enchanted wood, the opium keeping you from burning anything holy that's been put inside.

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>>29636881

"Ghost!!"

The shrine maiden is brought to tears as she watches her companion get devoured.

>>29636904
lick up her tears with your signature lick attack

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Rolled 29, 1 = 30

Opponents turn.

Ogre throws his fist at Charm Dealer's stomache! His attack power had doubled since your last encounter.
Anonymous Shrine Maiden preparing spell cards, fighting off the shock.

>>29636962
lick the tears

Rolled 18

>>29636962
Defend yourself by remarking how fat the ogre has gotten.

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Charm Dealer does his best to hold back the vomit.

Your turn.

Rolled 13

>>29637028
Drink her tears then bind her with your tongue.

>>29637028

go for the fangs

>>29637028
Lick tears violently.

>>29637028
damnit, I guess I've learned to wait until a your turn is posted

lick her tears, and power up from the consumption of her grief

>>29637028
Use one tongue on the Shrine Maiden's tears, and another to bind her hands and force her onto the ground.

Charm Dealer, use your pipe to burn the ogre's horn stump. It should be sensitive.

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>>29637064
>>29637098

You violently lick her tears and powered up from consuming her grief. She is now paralyzed for two turns.

It is still your turn.

Rolled 7

>>29637360
Spit splinters at the maiden.

>>29637360
Smack the ogre around with our tongue.

>>29637360
She's paralyzed. This is our chance. Use all the tongues at our disposal to throw the ogre as far as we possibly can. We need to get him away so we can harvest her soul. Begin grinning like a maniac.

Charm Dealer should attack the ogre as we do this. He won't be able to dodge both of us.

>>29637360
have CD use some charms or whatever to bind and imobalise the maiden, maybe use those magic cards he said she had or something

>>29637360
mega tongue blast the ogre

>>29637360
Have Charm Dealer cast an anti-magic spell on shrine maiden.

>>29638072
bro she's paralyzed for 2 turns
double strength ogre for now

>>29638122
Fine, fine. Besides... who knows what kind of shit the ogre has up his sleeves.

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Rolled 32, 93 = 125

>>29637418
>>29637420

You lay the smack down on the ogre, leaving two hits!

>>29638683
#rekt

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However, by hitting him, you discover he has developed thicker skin than last time, resulting his protection at 2%, leaving total damage on him at 62.

Ogre grabs your tongue and grips it pretty tightly, but before he could swing you around..

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Rolled 80

Charm Dealer deals a blow to the broken horn with his pipe!

>>29638858
#dublrekt

Rolled 7

>>29638858
oooooh thats gotta hurt

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Rolled 76

Total damage is 102.

Ogre is defeated!
Shrine Maiden remains paralyzed.

Rolled 11

>>29638858
"You may notice a slight burning sensation."

CD: Attack

*You cannot grasp the true form of CD's attack*

*Shrine Maiden could not stop crying*

>>29638908
Time for DOUBLE PENETRATION!

>>29638908
>Tongue whip

Rolled 13

>>29638931
I second this.

>>29638908
soul extraction time

>>29638908

Hoora, hoora~

>>29638908
Go up to the shrine maiden. Push her to the ground.
Plant your foot between her shoulder blades.
"This /shouldn't/ kill you. Might hurt. But hey, if you do die, at least you and ghost will be together for eternity. So don't fear the reaper."

Reach into her skull and rip out her soul.

>>29638931
I un-second this.

Asides, charm dealer has no cock anyway.

>>29638908
wrap the helpless maiden in our tounges while we have CD draw up some summoning ritual for broelzebub. front row sacrificial ritual is a go

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>>29638942

You'd double penetrate, but your minion here has no penis.

>>29639000
>>29639008

>Hoora, hoora~
You pushed her to the ground, planting your feet right between her shoulder blades.

"Bastard..!"
"Karma will bite you in the ass, demon.. For the massacres and killings, someone will make sure you're good as dead."

>>29639428
You'll be ONE OF US soon!

Rolled 35

>>29639428
"Already died once. Don't plan on doing it again."

Rolled 3

>>29639428
Seduce her.

Rolled 33

>>29639489
Rip out her soul. Seduce the body.

>>29639428

put your tongue in her throat all lovey dovey like

>>29639428
"Whatever. OM NOM!"
Eat soul.

"Silly girl, I already am." followed by a low evil chuckle.

>>29639428
"They're welcome to try. I already died once, didn't I?"

"Now relax for a moment. This should only sting for a bit."

Reach in, and rip her soul from her body.

"Still alive down there?"

>>29639578
That's nasty.

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>>29639578
>>29639626

>They're welcome to try. I already died once, didn't I?

You lower yourself down to her, face to face, giving out a low evil chuckle.

>Now relax for a moment. This should only sting for a bit.

You force a nice, long and thick tongue down here throat, searching..

"Mmmf-!"

>>29639719
Can... can we just reach behind her skull and pluck it out? Please?

Rolled 3

>>29639719
Just be careful to not go all the way through.

>>29639784

NO

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>>29639784

Your tongue manages to reach the back of her skull, plucking her soul out.
Unfortunately, you were careless and just force your tongue out, killing her off in a gruesome way.

>>29639842

pour a forty for fallen homies

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Rolled 74, 38 = 112

>Still alive down there?

Victory, let's accumulate the monies we looted.

Rolled 8

>>29639842

>>29639866

Eat the corpse

>>29639842
Wow. Well, what's done is done.

She's with ghost now though, so at least it isn't all bad for her. Unless she lost her after life. Oh well. No sense in dwelling on it.

Kill the ogre. We don't need somebody like him coming after us for vengeance.

>>29639842
"Now that part was personal."

Search the Ogre for the horn.

>>29639899
This

Rolled 91

>>29639866
Acquire phat lootz.

Huh... now what?

Let's... I dunno... rampage?

>>29639866
Turn to Charms Dealer.

"So, what do you think?

>>29639866

Take the body with you; we need it for FrankenReimu.

>>29639974
Kill the ogre.
Ask Beelze for our next objective.
In the absence of an objective, let's find a place to crash. We're not searching for Charlotte, since we think she's dead. We left her to burn like a fucking boss villain.

h-hullo?

Rolled 76

>>29641339
Shh. She's drawing.

Rolled 2

>>29641412
Or sleeping

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>>29639974

You have acquired from Shrine Maiden: Shrine Maiden's ribbon, Unused spell cards. Not much on her.

From the ogre, his horn, and the gourd on his back.

"Nn..."

>>29641412
op is a girl?
woah

>>29641571
take his soul too
but without the tongue rape
we ain't gay

Rolled 18

>>29641571
Steal its soul. Then draw funny faces on the corpse.

>>29641603
reminder that we snapped this guy's horn off in our ass

>>29641571
soul stealin time
lets see if we can go through the back of the head/neck

>>29641635
that was a phase
we are so over it

>>29641571
rub our nuts on his face

>>29641571
Caress his chest

>>29641665
Do we have to sexually assault everything?

Rolled 3

>>29641842
Not everything, we don't do that to trees, the birds, the sky and many other things.

>>29641571
Return the horn to it's rightful place between our ass cheeks, then >>29641634

>>29641885
Every sentient thing?

>>29641571
Fondle his rock solid biceps
whisper sweet nothings

>>29641885
Can we, you know, just kill people, act sinister, and be done with it?

Do we have to shove our tongues into their orifices or try to double penetrate people or generally just rapey?

>>29641961

Yes.

Our neckbeard dictates it.

Why aren't we stroking it right now? Let's stroke it.

>>29642012
I think Beardy is best when we turn down the rape. I remember when we had Charlotte in Anon's apartment, there a were a bunch of guys ready for horn time.

Thankfully one guy got lucky and we had an awesome villain moment. I want more moments like those.

Rolled 23

>>29642152
>MFW that guy was me
>MFW this makes me inordinately happy

>>29642012
Seconding stroking neckbeard.

>>29642251
I like you Anon.
Beardy is best played as a villain. I really think he'd be best if he easily flipped from silly and funny to really cold and sinister. Like spinning around in the chair unintentionally, then threatening to burn Charlotte to death if she didn't join forces. We could still have rapey in there, but it wouldn't be his defining trait. It wouldn't be his first thought.

Rolled 12

>>29642458
Joker-esque?

>>29642458
Reading this, I really think that we need to give a good monologue before harvesting this next soul.

>>29642588
Eh, I'm not exactly sure that's a Joker trait. Joker is always sinister, even when he's being funny. I kinda feel like the Joker is over done.

Beardy just seems like the kinda guy who has got a few screws loose. He's crazy, but he alternates between being the malevolent kind of crazy and the goofy kind of crazy.

If I had to compare him to a comic book character, I think I might go more Deadpool. Beardy has the same attitude towards violence and killing, but he's a bit more serious, and is able to turn off the crazy to becoming really calm and intimidating.

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>>29641916
>>29641634

You swallowed the soul and have put the horn back in it's rightful place- your anus.

>Hi.

"Huh?!"

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A couple minutes through, you fully decorated his corpse with your artistic prowess.

Rolled 7

>>29642767
Consume the corpse to harness his power. And the miko's.

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>>29642788
>>29642767
>>29642811

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>>29642811

You did good, Beardy. Now what?

>>29642849

Level up

>>29642849
Wander off in search of Minion Anon.

>>29642849
Turn to masked anon. "That made me hungry. Are you hungry? I know a place."

Fluff and lick neckbeard, catlike cleanliness.

>>29642849
Shout victoriously into the air
Then abscond into the night.

>>29642849
Well, senseless slaughter would do nothing but get the Mods on our case again.
Click your tongue and do finger pistols at the bystanders and swagger the fuck outta there.

>>29642900
This. Click both tongues, all tongues.

>>29642655
"Shrine Maiden's dead. Accidentally ripped off her the front of her skull with my tongue. What can I say? I'm kinda new to this whole soul harvesting business. Maybe I'll get it right with you though.

I haven't done it properly yet, so I don't know, it might kill you anyway. Not sure if you get an after life either, on account of not having a soul. Ah well, I suppose you'll find out. Even if you did survive, not like I'm going to let you live to hunt me down. Any last words before you join your friends?"

>>29642849
Contact Beelze. Ask if he has any new jobs.

If he doesn't, go find that cat girl. We could always use a cat girl assassin baker. Maybe we can use her bakery as a Base of Operations.

>>29642849
return to charmshop with Charm "Sex-On-The-Brain" Dealer and summon the robot devil which whom our soul belongs to

>>29642936
Just curious, as the guy who wrote this, can anybody give me any feedback? Was that a good monologue? How could it be better?

I really want to flesh out my evil monologue writing ability.

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>>29642886

You shout victoriously into the air, more bystanders are looking your way.

>>29644294
It might be better for somebody who's not Beardy.

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>>29642900
>>29642918

So, you formed a pistol with your hands, clicked both of your primary tongues for pistol sounds at the bystanders as you backed out of there.

>>29644319
"I GET SOLO EXPEES!"

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Wait.

Where did our masked minion go?

>>29644383
Go back to the charm shop before he packs up and skips town!

Rolled 11

>>29644383
QUickly find him back! Or her. Not sure

>>29644329
Fair enough. I was trying to go for a cold serious, but Beardy's personality is all over the place, so it's hard to write for him.

>>29644408
Seconding this.

>>29644450
"Oh, hey. Yeah, gonna need your soul. Don't take it personally. Or do. Doesn't matter to me since you'll be dead. Shhh, it's okay. Nestle in my neck fluff and it'll hurt less. Naw, fucking with you. This is going to hurt like a bitch."

>>29644511
I'll let you do his monologues. I was trying to capture that goofy/cold contrast, but it doesn't really work. You do a much better job.

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>>29644408

Oh he better not be leaving you so soon, you are not ready to lose another minion!

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>MINION
>MINION UNLOCK THIS DOOR NOW
>LET ME IN

"I'm on break, come back later."

>>29644798
WHO SAID YOU GET BREAKS?

>>29644798
RESPECTABLE, BUT ASK FIRST, YOU ATTRACTIVE PILE OF GARBAGE

Break down the door. Time to show him why not to defy us.

>>29644798
What do you mean "break?" We've got souls to steal!

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>>29644816

>WHO SAID YOU GET BREAKS?

"Who said I /didn't/ get breaks?"

>>29645038
This>>29644830

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>>29644830

>RESPECTABLE, BUT ASK FIRST, YOU ATTRACTIVE PILE OF GARBAGE

He just rasp-berried you.

>>29645038
Ponder this. Mind=Blown

>>29645069
"What the fuck did you just say to me you little shit!?"

Kick in door.

>>29645094
Followed by "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE!"

>>29645094
>>29645199
Both of these.

>>29645069
Fuck the door down.

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>>29645094

>What the fuck did you just say to me you little shit!?

You kick in the door.

>I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I'M TRAINED IN GORILLA WARFARE!

"That's nice." He replies, whispering something about how that salt circle didn't stop you under his breath.

>>29645428
Piss on the salt circle
FUCK YOUR WITCHCRAFT!

>>29645428
I'll have you know I'm not a demon, dumbass! I'm more badass than that! Beelze made sure of that!

>>29645428
"It seems I'm going to have to teach you your place."

Tongue-snatch the pipe.

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>>29645454

You piss on the salt circle.

>FUCK YOUR WITCHCRAFT

"Uh huh. Just close the door already, you're letting the warm air out."

>>29645668
"Oh. Sorry."

Close the door.

"...wait, FUCK YOU!"

>>29645668
*sigh* "I'll forgive you for now." *Close Door*
*Sly and evil grin*
"For we have some summoning to do."

>>29645668
Dick was trying to keep us out with that salt crap. EAT THE DAMN DOOR AND SHOW HIM WE MEAN BUSINESS

>>29645668

Gently close the door.

Remain oblivious to the possibility that he's up to something.

>>29645668
tongue the piss salt up like a clam

>>29645668
Actually... doesn't the charm merchant kind of LOOK like Beelze?

>>29645668
>>29645990
Call him Beelze casually and see what kind of reaction we get.