>>30298450
Elven fighter-thiefs-magics

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Nightblade, because fuck sucking at any one of those three.

>>30298450
Fighter.

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>>30298475
Your cup doth runneth over with professions and inability to commit to one choice. You are fights-thiefs-magics-elfs level one.

You are in a town when a guard accosts you. "Elfs is against the law. You must go to jail."

You lose your sword, ninja turtle mask, stolen money bag, hat (pointed), beard, and cane.

You are in jail.

NOTE: Jail is not good.

What now?

Pick lock

wait

WAIT

CROUCH, then pick the lock

>>30298610
Ninja kick out.

>>30298610
>Elfs is against the law
Well, time to... outlaw some humans.

>Use SUPERIOR ELVEN GENETICS to bend and break the bars
>Fashion BARS into BAR-BOW and BAR-ARROWS
>Murder everyone

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>>30298650
>Pick lock
You are not a picks.

>CROUCH
You are not a CROUCHs.

>>30298653
>Ninja kick out
You are not a kicks.

>>30298692
>Use SUPERIOR ELVEN GENETICS to bend and break the bars

You elf the bars away.

>Fashion
You are not a fashions.

>Murder
You are not a murders.

>>30298733
Stop breathing.

>>30298733
Open the door(loaf of bread with a doorknob?) using one of the Elf'd bars

>>30298733
>You are not a fashions.
Bullshit, we're an elf.
Make INCREDIBLY SNAZZY SUIT out of bars.

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>>30298740
>Stop breathing.
You are not a stops.

>>30298775
>Open the door(loaf of bread with a doorknob?) using one of the Elf'd bars
You are not an opens.

The loaf of bread with a doorknob swings open and in walks a guard. He does not seem happy with you and has a weapon and also a hat. "Oy oy wut is da meanin' of dis roight 'ere?"

>>30298831
Tell the guard it's his turn to be the prisoner and your turn to be the guard.

>>30298831
Seduce the spider to your team using your SUPERIOR ELVEN GENETICS, Convince the spider to steal the guards hat.

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>>30298873
You are not a tells, but the gods pity you and help you with your syntax.

You FIGHT the words from your mouth: "It's your turn to be the prisoner and my turn to be the guard."

The guard sees no fault in the logic and now the two of you have changed places and you have a sword and also a hat.

>>30298831
Theifs the guards hat.

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>>30298923
Spiders are immune to elfs.

>>30298948
You have hat.

>>30298941
MAGICS the bars back into the cell
ELF the hat

>>30299018

FIGHT the urge to stay in the room and go outside.

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>>30299021
>MAGICS the bars back into the cell

You attempt the world famous "Un-Elf Jail Bars" spell, but without your beard, hat (pointed), or cane, it is without effect.

>ELF the hat
You place your hat upon your head and cover your elf ears.

>>30299058
THIEFS the door on your FIGHTS out.

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>>30299038
You are now outside of a jail.

>>30299101
Go back to jail.

>>30299101
MAGICS to the tavern.

>>30299101

Fights the tavern

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>>30299113
You are not a gos.

>>30299123
Your "Teleportation [Tavern]" spell is ineffective without your beard, hat (pointed), and/or cane.

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>>30299156
You fight the tavern and do a damage.

A fat man exits the tavern. "Why do you fight my tavern?"

"Give me BEARD or POINTY HAT" or I will FIGHT your tavern to death!"

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>>30299392
"I have no beard or pointy hat. I have a tavern."

The fat man does not appear to be lying because he is not an appears.

"sorry anout taven"
FIGHTS into mapscreen
FIGHTS into go here

>>30299431
THIEF tavern

>>30299431
Become a lich, using the fat man as sacrifice.

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A dice is rolled.

>>30299505
You steal the tavern from the fat man. It is a thing that belongs to you now. It is yours.

"I do not have a tavern. I have nothing. I am nothing." The fat man disappears in a poof.

>>30299507
You are not a becomes.

>>30299549

HELP syntax

>>30299585
You are not a helps.

You are fights-thiefs-magics-elfs level one.

You have a hat (unpointed), sword, and tavern.

>>30299607
ninja the hat and sword together to make it a pointed hat

>>30299645
You are not a ninjas.

>>30299649

ELF the tavern

>>30299649
level one the hat and sword together to make it a pointed hat

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>>30299658
The tavern is now thoroughly elfed.

FIGHTS hat into pointy hat with sword

>>30299670
THIEF the spider

>>30299670
You now have a level one hat (unpointed) and level one sword.

A guard accosts your tavern. "Elfs is against the law. You must go to jail."

You lose your tavern.

>>30299686
ELF the guard

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>>30299680
You hit the hat until it is in the rough shape of a pointed hat.

>>30299683
The spider is out of your reach.

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>>30299694
The guard is out of sight.

>>30299686
MAGIC to hat (pointed), beard, and cane
THIEF hat (pointed), beard, and cane

>>30299744
THIEF to NEW MEXICO

>>30299744
Elf yourself

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>>30299746
You attempt to cast a spell to go to hat (pointed), beard, and cane only to realize those are not known places.

The only hat to steal is on your head and you successfully steal it from yourself. There are no canes or beards in sight to steal.

>>30299751
You attempt to sneak into New Mexico like an illegal immigrant but are caught by border patrol. The border patrol is mustachioed and sunglassioed. He has a cap and gun.

"Oy oy wut is da meanin' of dis roight 'ere?"

>>30299837
ELF the CACTUS.

>>30299837
THIEF the SUN

>>30299781
You are already thoroughly elfed.

>>30299862
Fights yourself.

magic to elfed tavern

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>>30299849
You attempt to put elf ears on the cactus, but prick your hand in the process and take a damage.

>>30299859
You attempt to steal the sun but burn your hand in the process and take another damage.

>>30299904
LEVEL ONE the cactus into the BORDER PATROL

>>30299904
MAGIC gloves to THIEF the sun

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>>30299896
You cast the Teleportation to Elfed Tavern but your hat (pointed [rough]) misunderstands the spell and sends it to you.

>>30299915
The cactus is now level one.

>>30299956
TAVERN thief LEVEL ONE elf BORDER GUARD

>>30299956
THIEF his gun

MAGIC the sun

FIGHT the sand

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>>30299918
Your hat (pointed [rough]) magics you up an oven mitt that allows you to steal the sun from the sky.

It is now night.

>>30299983
THIEF the sun into the BORDER GUARD's cap.

>>30299983
Do I now have SUN?

>>30299983
THIEF moon.

MAKE sun and moon sword

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>>30299967
You are not a taverns.

>>30299968
You try to steal the border patrol's gun, but he easily spots you and shoots you. You take a third damage.

You now have a magical sun.

>>30299971
You kick at the sand. The sand would go into the border patrol's eyes except they are sunglassioed. The border patrol shoots you again and you take a fourth damage.

>>30300040
masturbate in front of him

>>30300040

FIGHT border patrol with magical sun

>>30300040
OVEN MITT catch bullets
SWORD BORDER PATROL

>>30300049
We aren't a masturbate dammit

>>30300040
Thief border
Magic Level ONE cactus into Elfed Tavern

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>>30300000
Your gunshot wound from your previous attempt to perform thievery on the border patrol warns you against this.

>>30300025
You steal the moon. It is day again.

You are not a makes.

>>30300049
You are not a masturbates.

>>30300053
You try to swing the magical sun at him like a sword but are too far away and he shoots before you can close the distance. You take a fifth damage.

>>30300001
Your inventory: sword, hat (pointed [rough]), oven mitt (magic), sun, moon, damages (5).

>>30300112
MAGIC damages (5)

>>30300112
MOON the border patrol

>>30300126
You now have damages (5 [magic]).

>>30300112
>sun
CORRECTION: sun (magic)

>>30300142

FIGHT damages (5 [magic])

>>30300134
You are not a moons.

>>30300112
THIEF the damages to the guard

>>30300112
Magic Cactus level one to Fights border patrol

>>30300163
You fight through the pain. You lose damages (5 [magic]).

>>30300167
The guard has no damages to take.

>>30300142

MAGIC self closer to the border patrol
FIGHT border patrol with dual-wielded sun and moon

THIEF border

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>>30300194
You cast an enchantment on the cactus and it grows eyes and a mouth. The cactus cannot fight the border patrol: it is not a fights.

>>30300237
MAGIC cactus to CACTUS the border guard

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>>30300206
With an incantation, you pop from the space you were in to a space behind the border patrol.

Using the windmill-style, you hit the border patrol with your sun (magic) and moon. They are damaged in the process of fighting the border patrol to a death.

>>30300223
There is no border in sight.

ELF border guard into tavern

>>30300310

THIEF border patrol's stuff

>>30300310

THIEF sunglasses

>>30300310
Magic Elfed Tavern into Flying Elfed Tavern

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>>30300263
The cactus is now on the border patrol.

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>>30300326
The border patrol does not have a stuff.

>>30300328
You snag those cool shades.

>>30300337
The tavern lifts off into space.

>>30300398
THIEF the border patrol's mustache. ELF it into a beard.

>>30300398
THIEF cap
THIEF gun
THIEF mustache

>>30300398
MAGIC flying elfed tavern into hovering 2ft off the ground tavern

ELF the desert

>>30300398
Magic Cactus into flying elfed tavern
Magic self into flying elfed tavern

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>>30300408
You snatch the mustache from the border patrol's lip. You elf it and it disappears, as elves do not have facial hair.

>>30300412
You trade your hat for his cap. You acquire his gun.

>>30300420
The tavern is out of sight at this point.

Do you really want to elf the entire desert? It would take a long time.

>>30300489
No, THIEF back the pointy hat

Then MAGIC into new mexico

>>30300489

MAGIC sELF

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>>30300514
You swap hats again.

You teleport yourself into New Mexico and find yourself at the Alamo.

>>30300515
You are already magics.

>>30300575
THIEF clouds

>>30300575
ELF the alamo. never fORKit the alamo

>>30300575

FIGHT your way into the Alamo

>>30300575
Elf the flag on building

>>30300575
THE STARS AT NIGHT ARE BIG AND BRIGHT

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>>30300584
You pilfer three clouds from the sky.

>>30300600

INVENTORY

>>30300600

FIGHT for your right to party

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>>30300588
>>30300592
You elf these things.

>>30300590
You kick open the door and bust in to find an uninteresting tourist trap. Your elven senses tell you that something seems amiss.

>>30300604
You are not an inventorys.

Your inventory: sword (level 1), hat (pointed [rough] {level 1}), oven mitt (magic), sun (magic [damaged]), moon (damaged), sunglasses, gun, three clouds.

>>30300660

DECORATE walls with sun [magic], moon and clouds

>>30300660

MAGIC to Don't Go There

>>30300672
You are not a decorates.

>>30300675
You have already used the teleport spell.

>>30300669
MAGIC your face to grow a beard

>>30300660
>>30300685

FIGHT Sword and Gun into SwordGun

>>30300660

FIGHT elf nature and become dwarf instead

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>>30300703
You attempt to magic yourself again but are already a magics.

>>30300708
You bash the sword and gun together and make a swordgun.

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>>30300718
After an intense inner struggle, you shed your elven ways and become a dwarf. A very dwarfly beard sprouts from your face.

You are now fights-thiefs-magics-dwarfs level one.

Without the elf in you, you detect nothing unusual with this plain room and become bored with it.

>>30300782

DWARF yourself a tunnel to something interesting with your swordgun.

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>>30300803
You begin digging a tunnel only to find a hidden door on the floor. Behind (or beneath) the door are stairs leading underground.

>>30300782
FIGHT sun (magic [damaged]), moon (damaged), three clouds and hat (pointed [rough] {level 1}) into WizardHat

>>30300825
You try to slap these things together but are unfortunately unsuccessful.

>>30300837

Alright then. FIGHT down the stairs into underground

>>30300837
DWARF down the stairs. which I think involves singing something like 'hi ho'

>>30300818
Dwarf into Go Here

Missed something earlier, my apologies.

>>30300650
You now have the right to party.

CHECK privilege

>>30300853
Are we fights/magics/thiefs/dwarfs/partys level 1 now?

Cool.

>>30300853

DWARF cactus into our party

>>30300848
>>30300850
You begin to storm down the steps very dwarfly into the basement of the Alamo when your dwarven trap senses begin to tingle: "The Alamo has no basement."

>>30300852
There is no Go Here in sight.

>>30300897
MAGICS the trap into the VOLCANO

>>30300868
You are not a checks.

>>30300877
You are a fights-thiefs-magics-dwarfs level one.

Your inventory: hat (pointed [rough] {level 1}), oven mitt (magic), sun (magic [damaged]), moon (damaged), sunglasses, three clouds, the right to party, swordgun, a very dwarfly beard.

>>30300886
There is no cactus in sight.

>>30300897
PARTY a basement into under the Alamo

>>30300897
DWARF bicycle

>>30300913
You are not a partys.

>>30300906
With a flick of your hat you magic the trap to the volcano. The stairs now clearly lead into the volcano.

>>30300897

DWARF the trap. It will be too small to do any damage.

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>>30300936
The volcano shrinks somewhat in size but is still quite massive.

>>30300931
DWARF a FORTRESS inside the volcano

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>>30300973
With an "off-to-work-we-go" you hop down into the volcano and dwarf up a fortress. It is partially submerged in the lava (or is it magma?).

>>30301012
Magic the lava (or is it magma?) into a Tavern

>>30301012
MAGIC the lava (or is it magma?) into water

>>30301032
You have already used the banish spell.

>>30301048
Fight the Lava (or is it magma?)

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>>30301042
The sea of lava (or is it magma?) is now a sea of water.

>>30301058
You cannot quite reach the sea of water (formerly lava (or is it magma?) from your position in order to properly hit it without jumping in. Is that what you want to do?

>>30301059
THIEF the sea of water and
Fight the fortress

>>30301076
There is a lot of water, and stealing it all would take a lot of time, and isn't easy from your position: you would have to hop into the water.

You hit the fortress and the fortress takes a damage.

>>30301059
THIEF the water

>>30301059
DWARF the fortress into a SHIP FORTRESS

>>30301085
Magic Self into water
Fight Fortress to make hole for water to go inside

>>30301085
DWARF into Fortress

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>>30301089
You sneak off the fortress and into the water in an attempt to steal the water.

Unfortunately, dwarves are not a swimming folk and you feel yourself being pulled into the water.

>>30301120
Fight your way through the water into the brothel that is inside the Fortress

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>>30301097
You are too busy in the process of drowning to use your dwarfly craft to create ship fortress.

>>30301106
>Magic Self into water
You have used the teleport spell and are currently in the water.

>Fight Fortress to make hole for water to go inside
You hit a hole into the base of the fortress and now the fortress is sinking with you.

>>30301109
The water and the drowning in progress is hindering your ability to properly dwarf at this time.

>>30301120
MAGIC into fortress

>>30301164
MAGIC into Alamo

>>30301164
THIEF water

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>>30301161
You swim (using the punch stroke) into your fortress and find your way to the brothel.

Inside the brothel are three women: one human, one elf, and one dwarf.

>>30301171
>>30301186
You have used the teleport spell.

>>30301197
There is no water within sight.

>>30301220
EXCERCISE women

>>30301260
You are not an excercises.

>>30301220
The ELF that way we don't have to pay...

LEVEL ONE women

>>30301284
You are not an elfs.

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>>30301286
The women are now level one.

>>30301311

MAGIC the right to party to add level one women to our party

>>30301311

ADD THE SPIDER TO OUR PARTY

DISREGARD BITCHES

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>>30301341
The women are added to your party.

The women are tricks-humans-elfs-dwarfs level one.

With nothing else interesting within your brothel, you and your party leave. Your fortress is completely underwater now. There are three other rooms: the forge, the throne room, and the kitchen.

>>30301395
You are not an adds.

You are not a disregards.

>>30301429
Dwarf to the Kitchen and
Thief some bread

>>30301538
>Dwarf to the Kitchen and
You (with your women in tow) march into the kitchen to find a tall table. On top of that large table is a loaf of bread with a doorknob. Between you and it is a chef and an oven. There are cupboards on the wall above you.

>Thief some bread
"Sacred blue!" the chef shouts as he sees your intentions of stealing his bread. He hits you with his knife. You take a damage.

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>>30301641

>>30301649
LEVEL ONE oven

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>>30301820
The oven is now level one. It heats up and begins cooking its contents slowly.

"Mercy! Mercy!" the chef exclaims. "I was trying all day to get that darn thing started. Mercy! Please, help yourself to some bread."

>>30301899
Oops forgot my dumb trip.

>>30301899
MAGIC the damages to the cheg

>>30301944
chef..

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>>30301944
You run your thumb across the brim of your hat and the damage is transferred to the chef.

"Jay me sense my lady," he mutters, too intensely focused on whatever he's cooking at the moment to care much more than that.

>>30301999
can we get our inventory again?

>>30302022
Your inventory: hat (pointed [rough] {level 1}), oven mitt (magic), sun (magic [damaged]), moon (damaged), sunglasses, three clouds, right to party (magic), swordgun, a very dwarfly beard, fortress, women.

You are a fights-thiefs-magics-dwarfs level one.

Women are a tricks-humans-elfs-dwarves level one.

>>30302037
levelone our swordgun

>>30302044
Your swordgun is now a level one.

>>30302063
DWARF women

>>30302074
Women are already dwarfs. Women are tricks-humans-elfs-dwarves level one.

>>30302098
SWORDGUN women

>>30302105
You are not a swordguns.

>>30302113
MAGIC our LEVEL ONE?

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>>30302113
The oven dings.

"Regard!" the chef shouts. "My freedom fries are done. Time to serve these to the king." Taking the fries, the chef leaves the kitchen.

>>30302186
You do not have a level one in your inventory.

>>30302205
Well then THIEF some bread and DWARF over to the Throne Room

>>30302187
MAGIC the oven to make more freedom fries

>>30302231
>Well then THIEF some bread
You slip through the loaf of bread with a doorknob and find yourself back at the jail.

>and DWARF over to the Throne Room
There is no throne room in sight.

>>30302254
There is no magic in sight.

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>>30302288
Oops image.

>>30302288
DWARF over to the GO HERE

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>>30302329
There is no GO HERE in sight.

"Oy oy wut is da meanin' of dis roight 'ere? Tis yer turn t'be da prisoner an' my turn to be the guard."

You see no fault in the logic and now the two of you have changed places. You lose your hat (pointed [rough] {level 1}), oven mitt (magic), sun (magic [damaged]), moon (damaged), sunglasses, three clouds, right to party (magic), swordgun (level 1), a very dwarfly beard, fortress, women.

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>>30302395
With a wave of his very dwarfly beard, the guard repairs the bars to the jail cell. "Oy oy dat looks 'bout roight!" he says to himself before leaving.

You are in jail.

NOTE: Jail is not good.

What an awful quest.

10/10 Would play again.

>>30302469
Best Quest.
11/10 would DWARF again

AN AWFUL AUTOPSY

Professions unlocked: eight (fights, thiefs, magics, tricks, humans, elfs, dwarfs, level one)
Spells cast: like thirteen or something
Places visited: dunno, ten?
Things gotten: best guesstimate is 21ish
People killed: one too many
Went to go here: no sir
Went to don't go here: no ma'am
Made friends: totally
Found the secret: uh wouldn't you like to know?
Won the game: NAH!

>>30302445
FIGHT urge to cry

>>30302469
So how do we restart?

>>30302631

Damn, your syntax was a challenge my friend.

>>30303199
Hmm...

Have you tried blowing in the cardridge?

>>30303317

*pff*

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>>30303336
That didn't work.. darn.

Well, go fill this out whilst I think of something else

>>30303317
You are now a BLOWs

>>30303388
I am?

What other powers do i gots?

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>>30303388
Hell yes I'm a BLOW now!