>>31602182
Where are the archives?

>>31602182
>>Cut south. Hit the altar you were going to grab on the way back. It'll take longer, and you'll have to go through a few mountain passes. Trolls, Onis, and whatever passes for a goblin lives out there.
Yeah!

>>31602182
Easter afternoon is the perfect time Chief.

>>31602207
in the archives.

>>31602182
>Keep on going! It was your plan. You're going to stick to it. It'll be rough, but you can guilt Reklatul the entire time. Also Allonces will freak out from swamps and leeches.

>>31602207

I've never actually thought to link those before. I thought they were public knowledge. Though, between you and me, you might want to use foolz. I mistagged the first thread, and the fourth one was misarchived by a tricky anon.

Regardless, here they are from the old suptg:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Oversized%20Weapon%20Quest

>>31602182
>Keep on going! It was your plan. You're going to stick to it. It'll be rough, but you can guilt Reklatul the entire time. Also Allonces will freak out from swamps and leeches.

Find the nearest Ogre. Suck its dick.


Oh wait with isnt the ERP thread my bad

>>31602182
>>Keep on going! It was your plan. You're going to stick to it. It'll be rough, but you can guilt Reklatul the entire time. Also Allonces will freak out from swamps and leeches.
If it is boss' plan then it is the right plan. We will have to deal with these altar's eventually cause when do we ever give up on a side quest, so this will gain us time in the long run.

>>31602182
>Keep on going! It was your plan. You're going to stick to it. It'll be rough, but you can guilt Reklatul the entire time. Also Allonces will freak out from swamps and leeches.
>implying /tg/ has a life

>>31602244
Honest mistake anon. We all like ourselves a loli goblin sucking an ogre dick every now and then. Though Shax would probably think it a snake and cut it off.

>>31602263
She is not as innocent as you think she is, but she is pretty dense.

>>31602279
>>31602263
So basically if an orc whipped his dick out she would know its his dick, but if he said it was a snake, she could get convinced it is one.(don't goblins eat snakes?)

>>31602291
Goblins eat anything. If you give them a dick as food they would eat it, you don't have to fool them.

You guys were pretty happy with the plan the boss came up with, I see.

Well, writing then!

And Easter must be the lewdest holiday, or something?

>>31602311
True, we did mention eating animal balls before.

>>31602312
Lewd? We are discussing food you pervert.

>>31602311
The mental image of the boys squirming in both pain and embarrassment at seeing the boss and allonce eating cooked up junk is funny.(the slutty elf would be clueless)

>>31602321
Goat jewels are quite tasty actually. Try them if you get the chance. I am serious.

>>31602291
>not convincing her to suck the cream out of it

Allonces, exhausted, leans on her spear as she addresses you. "Jeez, it is awfully hard to stab a skeleton to death, you know? How much longer do we have to do this, Shax? It is hot and I'm sweating in this armor and there are flies everywhere."

You take one more look at your map before rolling it up again. Of course she had to whine about this course before you could change it. There is no way you can change the plan now! It'd look like you were a sissy, and also that you were listening to Allonces. Both things you'd never respect someone for doing. "Put up with it, Allonces. It's only going to get worse. We gotta trudge through a mucky swamp to get to the altar."

Reklatul raises a claw, "Ah, if I may interrupt, are you seriously going to destroy the Altars of Light?"

"Of course. Wrecking up things is my job," You crunch another skeleton skull with your boots to emphasize your point. "Besides, the Sea Mom is nice to me, and her friend says that ushering in darkness or whatever would be rad. Where's the downside? I think this place could be a little less sunny, myself." You did grow up in a cave. Darkness sounds nice and cozy!

Waving his hands as if to ward you off, Reklatul says, "No no. You know that those Altars have a guardian, right? And if you defeat them, you can harness the power for yourself?"

You sigh, and pat Reklatul on his cute lizard shoulders. "Look, you're new to the raiding business. When you raid you smash things up. If you take something, it is a split moment decision. I'll figure it out when I get there." Fetidclaw nods along, and Brokagh adds his affirmation. That's just how it works.

A few more days pass. A dozen more skeletons. Eventually, the smell of rot sets in and the humidity picks up. Fetid says there is a small village not far away to the east. Bearbreath says that there is a some sort of strange tribe of creatures north.

>Check out the village for a guide.
>Scope out the tribe for the same.
>Screw it, we're plowing through.

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hey there chief.

>>31602517

I love you never leave me

>>31602513
>>Scope out the tribe for the same.
Let's get some help!

>>31602513
>>Check out the village for a guide.
>>Scope out the tribe for the same.

>>31602513
>Scope out the tribe for the same.
Time to join up with some weird ass pigmys.

>>31602513
>Check out the village for a guide.

>>31602513
>Scope out the tribe.

>>31602513
>Plow through the heavens with your oversized sword

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>>31602513
>all these skeletons

Jesus, this is so not worth it.

>Screw it, we're plowing through.

>>31602513
>Scope out the tribe for the same.
>>31602570
i needed that laugh.

>>31602513
>Screw it, we're plowing through.

>>31602517
>Supershax
The hero we need. The hero we want. The hero we deserve.

>>31602513
>cope out the tribe for the same.
Doesn't this guaranteed another party member and an easier rolled for traveling through this place?

Hey.
Hey Chief.

Beach episode when?

>>31602656
This. We need a beach episode. With Dragon Lady too.

Writing time is now.

>>31602656

I don't know. I could probably commission decu or someone to draw everyone in swimsuits. We'll cross that bridge when we get there!

>>31602529
So long as long as you don't turn this thing into a 200 thread grindfest. 'Cause you could keep people engaged. And then we'd have yet another series of endless general threads on our hands.

>>31602764

I actually have an end in mind. You're about two fifths of the way there. I've got way more quests than this I'd like to run after all!

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>>31602816
Sasuga Chief!

>>31602816
Just tell me that those plans include us either ascending, or becoming a god of some sort.

The idea of a fairly clueless goblin girl as a big wig immortal dealing with her serious gods and shit just tickles my fancy.

>>31602816
Awww man I'm gonna miss Shax and her ragtag group so much.

>>31602917
>Deus ex goblina

pls no.

>>31602917
Most of the immortal shit we run into is even less serious than we are. There is a god of illiteracy for fuck sake.

>>31602917
fuck that bullshit.

>>31602513
So wait, why isn't Allonces a magician yet?

>>31603145
we keep dragging her away from being taught.

>>31603145
Whats a hex going to do to a skeleton?

You don't know if you trust any village with the rampant skeletoning going on. It could be overrun by horrible undead monsters! You'd rather just go to the tribe Bearbreath found. What a reliable guy! You wonder if Fetidclaw ever feels overshadow by his awesome Gnoll companion who is cooler than him. Not that you'd say it to his face. But everyone is thinking it.

The group follows his lynx until you reach the outskirts of the tribe. "Here's where they are at, Boss," Bearbreath says. He's never been much for chatting. So aloof and cool.

You peak over the edge. There are several small huts. There seems to be horrifying mishmashed monsters wandering around here. A lion with a human face, a massive bird with human legs, and ogre arms. It gets downright bizarre. Oh well. You slide down the hill and wave at them.

"Hello. I'm Shax! How are you all doing today?" What's the worst that could happen? An ant monster with four human arms and two horned satyr heads turns to you and lets loose an awful shriek. You raise an eyebrow. "Weird. Do you guys have some sort of leader I can talk to?"

"That would be me." A deep voice sounds out. A tall guy in deep red robes ducks through the entrance of a small hut. How did he even fit in there? "You're an odd specimen." He has a massive ceremonial mask on, but you can feel his eyes on you. "A cave goblin? How different from those mountain savages." He pokes you with a delicately carved staff while murmuring creepy stuff like 'fascinating' 'soft belly' 'hair needs washing' and other frankly offensive things.

>>31603185
I don't know, things?

>>31603185
You won't know until you try!

>>31603162
>>31603145
>>31603185
I wanted the female dwarf, but for some reason she has a following in these threads.

>>31602943
>>31602988
Hey, it's a legitimate possibility from what we've seen so far.

>>31602917
Hey! No spoilers!

It's time to cut this short. "Hey, I need a guide through the swamp. You know any one that can do that?" It is time to start negotiations.

"I do and can send them with you, of course. But I'll need something in return." Wow that was easy.

"What?" What's the worst that can happen?

"I'll need a body part from you or one of your companions who are hiding on that hill." He splays his hands out.

Immediately you respond. "I volunteer Allonces."

"Hey!" The elf cries as she slides down.

>Volunteer Allonces! Who knows what limb she'll get in return.
>Volunteer someone else!
>Do something tricky like have Bearbreath turn into an octopus and cut off an octopus leg or something.
>Something else.
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave.
>"Give me your secrets!" Attack him and take his stuff.

>>31603233
Fuck that shit.

>>31603233
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave.

>>31603233
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave.

>>31603233
>>"Give me your secrets!" Attack him and take his stuff.

>>31603233
>Give him a scale from the lizard guy.

>>31603233
>Volunteer Allonces! Who knows what limb she'll get in return.
We never go back on our word.

>>31603233
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave.

Explore solo.

>>31603233
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave
Just remember the place in case of someone gets a limb lopped off

>>31603220
She needs a chance to git good, she got her ass beat by an imp.

>>31603233
>>Volunteer Allonces! Who knows what limb she'll get in return
Maybe an ogre arm will make her less sucky

>>31603233
>Do something tricky like have Bearbreath turn into an octopus and cut off an octopus leg or something.
or
>"Give me your secrets!" Attack him and take his stuff.

>>31603233
Give him a lizard tail. Those grow back, right?

>>31603233
Would toenail clippings be acceptable? Or maybe a lock of hair? I think everyone is kinda attached to their limbs.

>>31603233
>Volunteer Allonces! Who knows what limb she'll get in return.
She needs a power boost

>>31603233
>Volunteer Allonces! Who knows what limb she'll get in return.
She needs the power.

>>31603291
He said a body part so any of those work. He cant even say no since he already said the word. We could give a lizard scale, nail, hair, skin or anything really. But anon just want to leave i guess so whatever.

>>31603298
>>31603309
I think you guys are in for a rude awakening.

>>31603323
I wonder why they don't just attack him, instead of just whimping out.

>>31603233
>"Nah, I'm good." and leave.
Or
>Do something tricky like have Bearbreath turn into an octopus and cut off an octopus leg or something.

>>31603233
>>>Do something tricky like have Bearbreath turn into an octopus and cut off an octopus leg or something.
Goblins are tricky. Let's do the goblin thing.

>>31603233
>"Give me your secrets!" Attack him and take his stuff.

>>31603349
Attacking will not get us a guide. Probably.

Consider that if we just give him bits he'll probably voodoo hex us with them for being a bad sport.

>>31603370
Will get us loot, and we can aggressively convince him to help us.
>>31603376
Then we fight him then.

Guys, you can stop samefagging now. It is not really that important of a decision.

That's a lot of votes. Guess I'll start writing.

>>31603392
its a better way than last time where votes popped up in the last 2 minutes.

>>31603417

Why would anyone samefag in my quest? Nothing is that serious.

>>31603402
Final destination voting?

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>>31603437

>>31603437
I wouldn't worry about it. I've always thought people call samefag way too often.

>>31603437
That's why i am surprised.

>>31603439
Unnecessary

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"I was just kidding, jeez." You wouldn't actually do something your loyal minions wouldn't like. "But why do you need a limb? What kinda freaky stuff are you doing here?"

"I'm searching for the perfect body. Collecting many specimens is necessary for this research," He begins to explain the process and rant for several minutes. Everyone is very uncomfortable, and doesn't know where to look because if you start glancing around the huts you'll see something like a giant centipede with human fingers on each claw and a goat head or something, and no one wants to see that.

After he begins talking about the perfect being's divine radience, you decide enough is enough. "But seriously, we gotta find a way through the swamp. Any advice? You live near it so you've gotta know something."

He turns his gigantic mask to face you. "Of course. You've been delightful company, with your marshmellow soft belly and the exquisite thighs of your elf friend here." First of all, she doesn't have exquisite thighs. Second of all, what is a marshmellow? "The only advice I can give is that there are several spirits in the swamp dedicated to drowing people. Do not follow any dryads regardless of what they say. Now, if you'll excuse me, your friend's marvelous cat gives me an idea." He ducks back into his tent, and comes out with a smock and hacksaw. Very magical.

Well. No leads there. Sitri comes up to you. "Hey, Shax, he brought up dryads. I know he said not to trust them, but I know a few songs that tame nature spirits. If you'd like, I can try to do a quick little bardic ritual and whip us up a guide."

>We'll just hit up that town. thanks for the offer, Sitri!
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
>I'm plowing through the swamp! We'll just use your ritual in an emergency.

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>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.

>>31603680
Swamps are terrible. Just run through it and spend no more time doing so than you absolutely have to.

>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.

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>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
Fuck it why not.

>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
Sitri's the best.

>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
Just get ready to punch it in the dick.

>>31603680
>>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
My brain says no but my body says yes.

>>31603754
you do know they are plants?and mostly female

>>31603772
You can punch anything in the dick if you are angry enough.

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>>31603754
>>31603772
You never know.

That'd be a pretty head lead to beat.

Sitri charmed you all with her fuzziness!

Writing.

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>>31603818
No rolls?

>>31602529

Chief Fouldrinker, henceforth you shall be
ruler of /tg/


we shall never leave you.

*_* NEVER!

>>31603680
>I can see no downsides in conducting a ritual for swamp spirits that we have little knowledge of.
Is this the perfect plan or what? Seriously though, Sitri's music can tame anyone so let's do that.

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>>31603680
Wheres her goat beard?
She can't be a she goat with out it.

>>31603918
>>31603918
For some reason I assumed she had a six pack and didn't wear a shirt. Not in a lewd way either I just thought she looked like a dude.

>>31603991
it makes sense that her people don't wear clothes other than vest.

"Yeah, sure , why not?" You say, as the party walks away from the creepy guy's hut. "I mean, they can't lie if you've tamed them, right? Aren't they like your slaves or something at that point?"

Sitri laughs, "Sure! I mean, probably."

You scratch your head. "You've done this before, right?"

"Nope! That's why I wanted to try it out." Sitr gives you a grin and runs a hand through her hair, curls settling back in exactly where they were. You don't know why she bothers.

Sitri busies herself with gathering materials for the ritual, while the party settles down around a camp and starts chatting. Reklatul tells fables from his homelands, Allonces tells folk stories, and Brokagh tells some ghost stories, though you didn't listen to those. Not because you were scared! Because Sitri pulls you and Allonces aside.

She holds up some paint. "Hey! I mixed together the berries and stuff. We gotta paint our bodies in certain patterns and then dance to the music. I need two dancers. You and Allonces, preferably."

You scratch your head. "I got no clue how to dance."

Allonces holds up her fists excitedly, "Do we dance naked? In the moonlight?!"

Sitr narrows her eyes and points at you, "Of course you do." Then she shakes her head, and quickly addresses Allonces, "No and also no. We can start whenever you'd like actually. But it is going to be pretty hard to pull off. I hope you know how to dance better than a rank amateur." Hey! "Otherwise we won't be able to please these spirits.

>Give me a d20 roll for your festiveness!

Rolled 19

>>31604108

Rolled 14

>>31604108

Rolled 10

>>31604108
rolling

>>31604127
Bitch you cant step to this.

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>>31604127
>>31604108
C-can we dance naked anyway?

>>31604127

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr9ExScjBno

Writing.

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>>31603872
Dude. Don't go putting words in my mouth. I agree that chief's pretty cool though.

>>31604108
Shax is the best dancer. her every motion is grace incarnate. Try spinning, that's a neat trick.

>>31604187
What is that from?

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>>31604326
Birdy the Mighty. It's good.

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>>31604359
Its meh

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>>31604400
Shut your whore mouth.

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>>31604436

>>31604448
This thread's weird. Is it mating season or something?

>>31604473
its Easter sunday, so all that is left is the perverts.

>>31604473
Its egg laying zombie rabbit jesus day :D

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>>31604557
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFtb3EtjEic&feature=kp

You cover yourself in paint, and Allonces strips down to some barely decent amount of clothing before getting Sitri to paint her up, too. She calls you over to a weird circle she stamped into the ground, and tells you to just follow the tune, taking off her vest and painting herself as well. "H-hey, I thought we weren't going to be naked." They're still in some underwear, but still.

Sitri winks at you, "I'm used to dancing like this. I don't know why the elf girl is doing it, though."

Allonces puts her hands on her hips and laughs. "I gotta get into the spirit of things! I'm a noble savage!" She holds up her hands at you, and makes clawing motions, "Rawr! I'll eat you up!"

You cross your arms, attempting to shield yourself from imagined stares. "Hey! That's offensive to true savages. I'd never eat a goblin. Or an elf." Allonces' giggle just annoys you.

Soon after, Sitri starts playing a song on her pipes, using her unusual gait to start hopping and skipping around in the circle. It's a pretty catchy tune, you have to admit. Allonces grins and starts dancing some sort of weird mockery of a tribal dance while laughing. At least she's having a good time. You're still pretty embarrassed, so you just close your eyes and start moving. Some time passes, and you hear a whooping cheer. Snapping your eyes open you see the boys all sitting on some rocks and watching.

"Go boss! You're really cutting a rug out there. Or the grass? Something."

Oh jeez, no one will respect you now. But you see what got their attention. The circle is glowing brightly, and small fairies are dancing around in the circle as well, like tiny glowing snowflakes. You fight your shyness and keep going. Eventually a green spirit floats into the circle, the glow fading reveals a wooden woman with green hair who begins cavorting around as well. Sitri opens her eyes and gives you a wink, before dancing to the dryad, taking her hand, and starting to cavort with it.

It is a lewd dance. That's all you're going to say on the matter.

After the dance, Sitri has her arm hanging on the dryad's back, looking a little flushed and out of breath. "...so that's why we need you to show us how to get through the swamp. Think you can do that for me?"

The dryad rests her hand on Sitri's. "Of course, noble singer. I would love to help make your life even a little easier."

You're pretty convinced this worked! The dryad starts to lead you through the swamp. She'd like to know where you'd like to go? She mentions a temple a bit off the beaten path.

>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!
>Some sorta winged serpent temple? Let's check it out.

>>31604215

sry. and agreed.

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>>31604779
>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!

>>31604779
>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!
Got to finish fast for the dragon lady.

>>31604779
>>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!
let's get stronk

>>31604557

lold

>>31604779
Straight to the Altar.
Every sidequest is another moment our boyz might die without our supervision.

>>31604779
>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!
Despite our god like dance moves I am still hesitant on going somewhere a creature noted for lying and drowning people suggests

>>31604779
>>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!

>>31604855
same

No time for anything but business.

Shax is a consummate professional.

Writing.

>>31604742
>Allonces' giggle just annoys you.
Hit her mouth with the sharp side of our sword. That would solve so many problems.

>>31604779
>Some sorta winged serpent temple? Let's check it out.

>>31604779
Good thing Sitri is here to take care of any lewd dancing required.

>>31604779
>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!
We don't have unlimited time to waste in this continent. Dragon lady is waiting us. And we have a lot do still.

>>31604779
You know, I'm still thinking we should go look into that winged serpant temple after we're done with the Altar. Who knows what we might find? Winged serpant mounts would be radical!

>>31604979
I could go for some mounts.

>>31604779
>>Head straight to the Altar of Light. You're trying to make good time here!

>>31604962
But Dominions continent! Not smelling the roses would be a crime.

If we found any roses. This temple? Pass.

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>>31604979
>Shax will never become the Red Baron
>There will be no high mobility air-raid squadrons

>>31604779
>Some sorta winged serpent temple? Let's check it out.

>>31605216
She can just spin really fast to achieve takeoff.

What's the worst that could happen

>>31605250
Shax vs the Skelecopter brigade

You make good time through the disgusting swamp. It smells bad, nothing is edible, murky water gets everywhere, there are a ton of monsters that you have to kill, there are gross animals and cute crocodiles, but worst of all is you have to listen to Allonces complain the whole way. About bugs. About smells. About no one being good conversation partners.

The dryad and Sitri stick together pretty close, and Fetidclaw looks relieved that he doesn't have to lead the way for once, and mostly hangs out with you. He talks about all sorts of stuff, from how to properly make an arrow, to his hobbies. He says seeing the world with you is one of the best things that happened to him. It makes you feel like a good leader!

As predicted, the skeletons travel through the swamp easily, and you gotta fight them off every few hours or so. It isn't easy, but until something more serious shows up, you don't get hurt. "What is the deal with all these skeletons, Reklatul? Where do they even get enough bodies for these things."

The lizard falls back to you for the discussion. "Oh we have plenty of bodies, and Sauromantic research knows how to use them. They are typically used as a harassment tactic." Well they are certainly harassing you. "Still, they've followed us this far. There is probably a clutch of Sauromancers tracking me through some sort of scrying method." Oh, good.

You are getting fed up with this, putting a hand on the hilt of your sword you look behind you. "Let's just turn around and kill the guys."

Reklatul shrugs. "They'd just feel me coming and keep their distance."

You don't wanna have to keep putting up with this. Still, your thoughts are cut short as a large cave entrance stands before you. Inside the cave is a spooky glow.

"Here's the Altar of Glimmers, singer." The dryad intones.

>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
>Tell the dryad to check it out since she is disposable.
>Get Bearbreath to scope it out since he is amazing.

>>31605334
>>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
WE RAID NOW

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>>31605303
>skeleton helicopters

Please God no.

>>31605334
>Scope it our yourself since you're amazing

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>>31605334
>>Barge in the place and wreck it up!

>>31605334
>you have to listen to Allonces complain the whole way. About bugs. About smells. About no one being good conversation partners.
How does hitting her mouth with the sharp side of our sword sound now? It is for the greater good, i tell you.

>>31605334
What about sending the orc in first? Because he's our dedicated sneak?

>>31605334
>Barge in the place and wreck it up!

>>31605334
>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
Also ask the seamom if she could stop them skelemancers from watching us. If she could that'd be great.

>>31605334
>>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
For Sea Mom and What's-his-name-who-sticks-people-in-the-ground!

>>31605334
>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
Eh.

>>31605334
>Barge in the place and wreck it up!
You are in a swamp. Git Shrek'd or git rekt.

>>31605334
A salute to Sitri for enduring even more unwanted attention in service of Shax. Unless she has a thing for Dryads I guess.

And I guess where Bearbreath's quality is being amazing, Fetidclaw's quality is in being...lacking enough to make others feel better.

ain't no raid like a shax raid cause a shax raid starts suddenly and ends in victory

Writing.

>>31605554
He also killed the shit out of a bunch of kenku.

>>31605606
Definitely not more than Shax, though.

>>31605629
Who is counting anways!

>>31604187

saved.

"Oooh, an ancient cavern. Full of mystery!" Allonces claps her hands, "I can't wait to see what's inside!"

You point your sword into the cavern's entrance. "Alright, boys, we're gonna ransack this place. Kill anything inside, take anything shiny, and let's find that stupid altar!" Brokagh and the gnolls cheer. Sitri just shrugs and waves at the dryad, before skipping inside.

Reklatul is the last one in. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean. People have been fighting over these altars for years, and no one has claimed one yet."

You pat his cute lizard snout. "There, there, coward. We're professional raiders. Don't worry about a thing." The walls come alive and several dozen razor sharp whips covered in jewels start writhing about. Oh, jeez.

The group manages to get through this area with little problem, but the traps just keep getting worse. A huge marble pillar swings down, which you narrowly avoid. A pitfall opens up, which Bearbreath narrowly avoids and then covers in spiderwebs. Allonces shakily thanks him as she walks over it.

Eventually you reach a wide chamber, with softly glowing light refracting throughout the chamber in a dazzling rainbow. A rock chair sits in the middle of a raised mound. There hasn't been a single piece of treasure so far, and you're pretty disappointed. So, when you see the jeweled cup on the platform behind the chair, you get pretty excited! That is when a huge marble golem breaks out of the wall and approaches you.

What's the plan?

>Everyone! All out attack!
>Let's just smash the altar and go.
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

potential plot ahoy!

I do need to eat supper, so there will be a short break. I'll resume writing afterward!

>>31605891
>>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before
We can take him, so we must talk first.

>>31605891
First stand on the altar then
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

>>31605891
>>Hey are you an elemental? I've talked to a bunch before.

>>31605891
>Let's just smash the altar and go.

I never really liked elementals. Never made sense to me.

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before
Ask if they're related!

>>31605932
>Going for supper in the midst of battle

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before
and if that fails
.Everyone! All out attack!

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

>>31605891
>Hey are you an elemental I've talked to a bunch before

If negotiation looks like it isn't going to work out then try to get a surprise attack on him and spend a Tidal point for more armor penetration on chopping one of his ankles off.

>>31605891
> Get in the turtle stance. Demolish it with the Bite of the Snapping Turtle.

>>31605947
They are embodiments of elements, what doesn't make sense?

>>31606121
>fire elemental
>wood elemental

That sort of thing. It's just opinions.

>>31605891
Cutle the fuck out of that marble dude.

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>>31605932

we'll wait. take your time.

>>31606252

I just got done. I was cooking while writing. Multitasking is the key to a productive lifestyle. I see the votes are nearly unanimous.

Writing!

>>31606293
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1p0_R8ZLB0 something to look at while we wait.

>>31606147
Depending on who you talk to wood could be an element. Or its a nature elemental made of wood.

Hey this thing looks familiar. "Oh, hey, wait. Are you an elmental? You look like a rock guy and metal guy I know." You glance over at Allonces. "What the heck is a 'glimmer elemental' anyway? Everything on this dumb continent doesn't make any sense."

Reklatul raises a claw, "Actually, the Altar Guardians are not so much sentient as they are an automated defender that-" Does he ever shut his cute mouth up? Jeez.

He is cut off by the golem swinging a huge fist downward, causing a loud crash. Some rocks fall from the ceiling, but the cave doesn't collapse.

You wave your sword. "Yoohoo! Did you hear me? Are you an elemental or not, you bum?"

Reklatul clears his throat. "As I was saying, the Altar Guardians are elementals, but not sentient in any way. You'd be better off addressing the sky, or the ground for guidance."

Doubtfully you look at the ground, and say, "Hey, ground? Are you controlling that rock monster?" Reklatul just shakes his head and covers his face with his scaley hands. There is no answer.

"Look, unless you defeat it, you can't claim the throne for yourself, Shax."

You give the lizard another look. The golem is lumbering at you now. "I dunno, smashing the altar seems way easier than this."

>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!
>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?

>>31606541
>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?

>>31606541
>Smash the golem!
>Smash the altar!
>Why not both!

>>31606541
>>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?

>>31606541
>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

Cuttlefish Turtle Hybrid Style! Spend the tidal point for armour piercing.

>>31606541
>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?
Mom's friend asked to smash it. Surely she will give us cool things if we do it.

>>31606541
>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?
Pffft, this lizard doesn't know what he's talking about.

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>>31606541
>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!
Powah

>>31606541
Cuttle the golem. Cuttle his face in.

>>31606541
>>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!
Smash it in the runes.

>>31606541
>>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

>>31606541
>>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

>>31606541
> Smash the everything

>>31606541
>Smash the altar! Who cares about the stupid thing?
Sidequests. Never give up on them!

>>31606541
>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

>>31606541
>>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!
We can smash the alter after seeing what happens.

>>31606541
Actually, changing my vote here >>31606574
Maybe we can ask the Seamother directly what to do with the alter.

>>31606541
>>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!
We count as a prophet right?

>>31606541
>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

Just think of the xp

>>31606541
>smash that altar

What the hell would we want with the power this temple could give us anyway? We're already the number one seablade.

Alright!

I'm going to go ahead and call the vote here.

It is time for writing!

>>31606712
Got to remember to get that fighting experience too. Also we cant loot shit if the golem is in the way.

>>31606541
>Smash everything.
The one true path.

>>31606541
>Smash the golem! Seize the altar!

You get yourself in an attack stance. You'll see what this lizard guy keeps prattling on about, and check out this altar business. Too bad he is useless in a fight! Something about his poet's soul is made more for battling the woes of women than foes of the battlefield. No wonder they send skeletons after him all the time. You would, too.

Anyway. This thing is huge. We're talking big. But there is probably nothing your choppa cannot cuttle. It lumbers forward, and Bearbreath launches a spear of ice at it, sinking into the golem with a crack. Allonces starts chanting, dark energies surrounding her and her spear as she dashes to the right, lancing the golem's leg with pinprick wounds. From those wounds dark chains start to creep around the leg, forming dark weights. The next few steps are noticeably labored.

Sitri plays a quick tune on her pipes, and you feel indescribably lighter. Fetidclaw peppers the golem with arrows, each one spreading a lattice of cracks as it sinks into the golem's arm, until the spiderweb of flaws causes it to fall off. Jeez! Your allies are a little too reliable. There isn't going to be much left for you to do at this rate.

That's when two more golems crawl out of the wall, one with giant spiked club fists, and the other with only one arm, a long cylinder.

What's the plan, boss?

>Who is attacking which golem? You don't know what either of the new ones can do yet! The first one is almost down.

>>31607082
Smash the cylinder arm one ourselves right now, that shit's ominous.

>>31607082
>long cylinder

Sounds like it's geek the mage time!

Have Allonces focus on the almost dead one. And somebody can distract the spiked club fist one.

>>31607082
Decapitate first one then,
Us vs the other with only one arm, a long cylinder.
Them vs one with giant spiked club fists

>>31607082
Spike club guy fights Bearbreath, Sitri, Fetidclaw.
Tubeguy fights Shax and Allonces

>>31607082
Fuck cylinders, only good thing that comes in cylinders is pringles.

>>31607082
> Allonces and Fetidclaw attack drillarm.
>Bearbreath and Sitri attack clubber. Lizardguy helps somehow or he will be used as bait to draw the golem's attention.
>Shax finish of this one and goe to help others.

>>31607082
Shax smashes cylinder arm with her cuttler.
Allonces finishes the original/keeps it chained with her dark spear.
Everyone else hinder/kill the spike club guy.

Alright! Let's see if I can't make a cohesive attack plan from these suggestions.

Also! Give me a d20 roll.

Rolled 1

>>31607258
Here goes nothing.

Rolled 2

>>31607258
Time to fail

Rolled 10

>>31607258

Rolled 7

>>31607258
Well, let's hope --
>>31607282
God damnit anon.

>>31607282
Time to Shax.

Rolled 6

>>31607258

>>31607082
Holy shit is Allonces being competent?

Go murder the shit out of the golem with the cylinder arm.

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>>31607282
You fucked up!

>>31607282
Yep, whole lot of nothing you got right there.

>>31607282
>>31607301
>>31607303
The suffering continues.

>>31607258
>>31607282
Looks like there are things our scuttler cannot scuttle

>>31607282
Yep.

>>31607282
dear god were fucked

REROLL

>>31607137
>Have Allonces
She is still learning and the magic we chose for her isn't offensive anon.

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>>31607282

>>31607309
>>31607306
>>31607303
>>31607301
>>31607282
>5.2 average
GOD DAMN SHAX
STEP IT UP

Are people really surprised on this out come this quest rarely rolls above 10.i just find it funny that people forget or get a big head after 1 succes.

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aw man I was trying to finish up before 8 pm

Writing.

>>31607423
just keep going until midnight.

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>>31607423
4u

You glance over at the tube arm guy. That thing looks suspicious. Spike fists is easy. You can handle spike fists. But tube arms? Who knows what that could be! "Hey, Allonces! You finish off that one. It is super weak now so it should be an even fight!"

"Hey!"

"Everyone else? You take on the spike fist guy like you just took on that other guy! I'll handle the tube guy myself." If it is scary, you gotta settle it yourself. You're the boss after all.

You get your sword ready, and dash at the tube guy. A light flares up, and blinds you temporarily, then you hear a loud bang. Your vision blurs and when you come to, you're looking at the ceiling. What happened? You grab your head and sit up. When you do, you see Brokagh standing over you, fighting Reklatul. Fetidclaw and Sitri are down for the count against the spike fist monster, where Bearbreath and his lynx are trying to hold it back. Allonces is running around the tube golem, whose arm will glow before blasting a blindingly light and large sorcerous beam outwards, leaving a smoking crater where it was. A quick study of the room shows that those craters lace the area. What the heck?

Brokagh looks behind him when he hears you moving. "Boss! You're awake! This guy tried stabbing you while you were down." He's punching incredibly fast. Reklatul seems to be dodging the blows, however. He has some sort of ceremonial dagger out. "I don't know what his game is, but he turned on us as soon as you went down." His voice trails off, as he has to focus on dodging Reklatul's knife work. A thin liquid drips from the blade.

As you rise and grab your sword, his reptilian eyes dart to you then to Fetidclaw. He rolls over and grabs the gnoll by the scruff of his neck, drawing the blade across his throat. From the blood that sprays out, five blood red skeletons rise up, armed with halberds. It's gone from bad to worse. A lance of ice pierces the spike golem through the head and it falls. Two down, six to go.

>What's the plan boss?

>>31607782
Cut snakeman in half as if we're Guts and he's unnamed mook #43, then Cuttlecut that golem.

>>31607782
Lizard guy, no! Why would you do this to me?

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>>31607782
>fetidclaw

Is bezerker rage a plan?

>>31607782
Are the skeletons close enough to Rek to cleave? If yes; cleave the fuck outta them.

>>31607782
Fetidclaw is dead? Fuuuuck.


>What's the plan boss?
We spin to win.

>>31607782
Go into a BIGASS SWORDED RAGECOPTER

>>31607782
Oh, HELL NO. Fuck that lizard's day up, no one betrays Shax Bonemurder. Then we wreck that golem.

>>31607782
Fetid claw no! This quests mortality rate is always surprisingly high.

We really should have just smashed the altar and ran, but nnooooo we had to talk to the golem.

>>31607892
A nat 1 does that, but wait was he the shaman that can bring people back to life?

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>>31607782
Welp. I realize this might be optimistic, but how about asking seamom for some help?

Not much for strategy right now? Alright!

Writing.

>>31607782
I'm surprised I'm not more upset that he died. Our party's only archer.

Anyways, let's take a second go at the tube golem, readying our defensive stance. Once the fighting is done we can finally test out Bearbreath's revival magic.

>>31607892
So far, only really among non-characterized mooks. I can't remember anyone notable before this. Unless you count potential recruits I guess.

>>31607908
It would had happened any since the nat 1.

>>31607909
No that was bearbreath. Thanks for reminding me and everyone he can do that by the way.
>>31607939
No rolls? I don't know if I should be worried.

>>31607947
It's probably because he was thew least characterized of our group. Which means the least plot armor.

>>31607962
Ah ok, then there is still hope.
I forgot this means he comes back as a gnoll or a new species?

>>31607947
Neb? Still elf girl barley managed to not die fighting that imp.

>>31607995
Other species but I don't think he'd mind too much.

>>31607082
>Something about his poet's soul is made more for battling the woes of women than foes of the battlefield. No wonder they send skeletons after him all the time. You would, too.

Aw, and now that he's betrayed us, that budding crush has been destroyed.

>>31607995
I dont know I think it is random.

>>31607975
But that's Brokagh!

I'm more upset about the loss of our cool lizardman friend.

>>31607962
>No rolls? I don't know if I should be worried.
Divine rage of loli goblin always succeeds.

>>31608034
Honestly i'm clueless on when we got him.

>>31608034
Lizards aren't cool. Turtles are.

>>31608034
We had a bonding scene when we got drunk with him. I don't think we did anything with Fetidclaw.

>>31608065
We picked him up when we were getting drunk in the bar when we first arrived on the continent.

>Fetidclaw
He had just found love too.

>>31608090
He was talking about Fetidclaw i think

>>31608069
All reptiles are cool. Shax seems to agree(?) or at least think lizards are cute while drunk.

>>31608120
No he was right.

>>31607782
Plan is thus:
Brokagh, Allonces: Gun golemn.
>Kite it to keep it from the rest of the engagement.
Bearbreath and his Lynx
>fight the blood skeletons
Shax
>Kill Keklatul
>KILL REKLATUL
>KILL. REKLATUL.

>>31608090

I thought we got Fetidclaw from the gnolls.

>>31608069
If turtles are so great why aren't we riding one around all day?

>>31608166
Nope. Plan is swing the sword and break it all. If you can even call that a plan but it is what it is.

>>31608166
revenge for our fallen comrade!
dammit lizard bro, why!

>>31608180
he's talking about lizzard guy.

>>31608189
If it weren't for the ceremonial dagger, I'd expect mind control.

>>31608034
He wasn't that cool. Fish-dudes are way cooler.

>>31608182
we have yet to meet our own genji

>yfw seamom rewards our efforts with one of her elite minions, a giant sea turtle which someone wrecks people's shit with his flippers

>>31608188
The plan is to wreck that traitors asshole...

With our sword.

>>31608222
>rrrrrrofl.
Just stop.

>>31608221
Two words.
Asp turtles.

>>31608166

I'll second this plan. Now that shit's serious I think a real plan is called for.

>>31608262
It is not voting time anon

>>31608275
No, it is NOT voting time.

It is KILLING TIME!

What kinda jerk just kills someone like that, I mean really. And he was just knocked out on the ground, too! Reklatul's eyes dart around as the spike golem goes down. Bearbreath is free of his fight, so you figure he might help you out here. Still, you don't think that through much as you charge right at the lizard guy.

You swing your sword in a wide arc, trying to catch the skeletons, but they sort of disintegrate and reform after the sword passes through, with a trail of whispy red dust. Now that just isn't fair. They read their halberds, but you manage to knock their weapons out of the air as they try to stab you. If you had phase technology, you woulda just phased through your sword there and stab you. Maybe they can only do it sometimes.

Brokagh dashes around you, and does a flying kick to take out one skeleton's skull before doing a legsweep that phases through another. "Damn. These are going to be tricky."

Allonces is visibly running out of breath in her fight with the tube golem. "Bear! Go help Elf! I'll finish off mister lizard." You're pretty upset at him for pretending to be a friend. Now that Brokagh has the skeletons all tangled up, you run at him.

"What is the deal with that? Trying to kill me and then actually killing my friends? That's pretty rude!"

He dodges one of your lazy overhead swings and laughs, "I thought I could finish you off real quick when you were down for the count. If I did that and used you as an undead servant, I could probably finish off these golems. I've seen you fight. You'd be a great slave. After the golems go down, I claim the altar, and get started on the path to ascension. Sorry. The opportunity was too good to resist!"

What a treacherous guy.

>Roll d20! Let's finish him off?

Rolled 8

>>31608294
Shax luck.

Rolled 18

>>31608294

Rolled 10

>>31608294

Rolled 14

>>31608294
He forgot one very important thing, we're the boss.

Rolled 16

>>31608294
Dice I swear if you don't match our righteous fury right now.

Rolled 14

>>31608294

>>31608327
Make him suffer, Fouldrinker.

>>31608327
Haha! Fuck you lizard guy. I hope we can get the skeletons off our backs now at least.

>>31608327
Yay!

>>31608294
>>ascension?
doitdoitdoit
but kill the bastard lizard first, noone makes a fool outta shax! (at least not to her knowledge)

>>31608327
Paste the cunt.

>>31608294
Allonces actually got pretty competent after that magic training.

Rolled 20

>>31608294
Wreck his face!

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>>31608327

writing

>>31608294
Are lizardmen like.. the goblins of the east? I respect his reasoning.