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"Anyway, after the quincy we went after a squad of nofunigami being led by a lieutenant with a large afro and weak rhymes. I tried to get him to rap battle with me. He was less than accommodating.” He kicked your ass and killed your plant. “Right, well sort of. Victoria burned their abilities and sent me back to before that happened by breaking fate really hard. Then I found a weaker nofunigami scrub and ate him because I was sort of super pissed.” Nofunigami taste really perverse. Like leather, absinthe, and blood. “Of course after offing the scrubbygami a whole team of nofunigami showed up to patrol the city, probably because of the whole murder thing. It was sometime around then that I broke into a baby’s room and fed it a drop or two of my go juice, which is poison and makes people crazy. His parents walked in, I killed them and made creative doodles on the walls with their organs, it was a gas.”

You pour yourself a brandy, a frozen eyeball bobbing in the drink with a small toothpick sticking out of it. “Anyway, the patrol group of nofunigami were sort of pissing me off, so I went to the land of hueco mundo and got a group together to help me take them out. Jager was there, she was just a pup and-“ Wait, they don’t know Jager yet. “Oh, well, I met the wolf from before, one of the hollows who went on a hunting party with me, and they agreed to go with me. There was also a squid and a mantis and a flying thing. Plus maybe some other little people I don’t care about. We go into the city and wage war against the nofunigami. We kill them, we eat them, then I get the sudden urge to go back to hueco mundo and eat hollows.”
(cont.)

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Might want to explain the lifecycle of hollows for those who don’t know it. You take a drink of your brandy and nod. “Well, we all have souls inside us, right? The soul is connected to the body by this chain so if you were to get your soul out of your body, as long as the chain is still there, you can go back. Once you die the chain breaks and what remains of the chain starts to degrade. Soul reapers try to take your soul to their society before that happens because once the chain is gone from your soul body you get a big hole in your chest. You become a sort of poltergeist and your soul body changes to match your newfound powers. Your human heart sort of burns and shapes your new power, but at the cost of your humanity. Plus you get a spooky white mask which exists because it is spooky and it protects your human face?

I dunno, but it sure looks cool. So you are like unrestrained Id, held together with sickening madness and very faint memories of your human life. Most hollows end up killing people they were close to when they were alive because they sort of remember them, and are wild beasts. There are exceptions, of course, but once this happens shinigami, well nofunigami really, have to use their magic swords to kill you to take you to their soul society.” Man, fuck the soul police. “They do this because hollows, probably because of the big hole they want to fill inside them, are always hungry. Until the end of the hollow unlife cycle there is always a constantly growing hunger. Once you eat a strong soul it fills it for the briefest moment, then your soul body processes it, making you stronger, and since you are stronger you are hungrier than were before eating. So the end result is you must always eat." You start thinking back on how hollows are sort of weird when you get right down to it.
(cont.)

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Once a hollow becomes strong enough they get the urge to go to what is called the forest of menos in the world of Hueco Mundo, which is like a desert nighttime hell place but on the Spanish channel because everything there is Spanish sounding. Once the hollows get there the scrubby hollows all eat each other and pile on. This mass cannibalism, combined with the forest’s unique spirit go juice, causes the hollows to fuse into a single giant hollow. These giant hollows are called Menos Grande and they are really tall and wear a long black dress. They shoot lasers, and be tall, and for most hollows that is where their life cycle ends. Once in a blue moon however a Menos Grande will have someone with a particularly strong sense of self inside them and they continue to eat their fellow Menos Grande, who I will now call Be-Tall-Guys because it is funnier and Spanish is scary somehow.” You take a long drink of your brandy, swirling the eyeball around in the glass.

“The Be-Tall-Guy with the strong sense of self will eat enough to continue their evolution and the bigness will condense down into a smaller form. This is called an Adjuchas and it is similar to a more advanced form of the first stage but with much higher intellect and much stronger power. This Adjuchas is, as always, impossibly hungry and will spend their days hunting through the wastes of Hueco Mundo. Hueco Mundo has a lot of ambient spirit energy in the air so it manages to take the edge off your hunger and slow it down. At this stage the adjuchas will go hunt other adjuchas because honestly regular human souls are less filling." Why is that?
(cont.)

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"I mean, if it comes down to ghost monsters made from perhaps hundreds of souls vs just one small one in a world where your hunger grows so fast it can kill you then the choice is obvious. Some Adjuchas are able to go one step further than the rest and, after eating enough or a particularly strong creature, their power will condense further and they will become what is known as a Vasto Lorde. Vasto Lordes are pretty much humanoid and are very strong. At this stage the hunger sort of goes away.” You pull the eyeball out of the drink and bite on it, chewing the squishy part while blinking in thought.

“A hollow life cycle is pretty much defined by hunger. If an Adjuchas does not eat enough they will devolve back into a Be-Tall-Guy and lose themselves forever. Of course they can stop this if they have part of their mask eaten by another hollow Hollows need to be whole in order to evolve, and once they have been consumed, even in part, their hunger just stops. Of course, without hunger it means there is no chance of becoming a Vasto Lorde, but that is the price you pay I guess. The other method of removing your hunger is to rip your own mask off your face. This transformation turns you into what is called an arrancar. By forcefully ripping off your own hollow parts with your own hands you will be able to regain part of your humanity. None of your memories, but it bridges the gap between you and nofunigami and gives you some new powers. You lose some of your abilities, but if you manage to tear your mask off then you become way stronger. The more of your mask you rip off the stronger your final form will be, but you only get one shot at it. Plus, it is scary because it hurts in ways which can’t be described. It’s like ripping all the bones in your face out with tiny hooks only without the charm.” You count out what you explained and then nod.
(cont.)

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“Oh, really fast, hollows sort of lose their sex drive. There may be some ways of getting it back when you get good, but as a general rule they are all without it. There is no way to reproduce so the whole downstairs sort of just stops working.” You clear your throat and then continue.

“Well, I heard the call to Be Tall so I went in there and did. It was a magical time in my life. Unlife. Hollowlife. I was tall. I shot lasers. I was tall some more. Then, this one time, I was tall but like, the other tall guys were not up for being tall and only sort of were tall and I was all being more tall and then they were tall too. It was awesome. Then I get shrunk down to adjuchas and- actually there is a picture in the thumbnail of what I looked like. Anyway, I met a guy who was really, really pretty. Like, super pretty. We figure out the cunt is Lucifer, and he gives us some help every now and then. Swell guy that. Anyway, as I explained, I went om nomming through the desert of Hueco Mundo and that is where I met the wolf again. They had adjuchased up and tried to kill me. I was all ‘Hey, wolf-bro, why you trying to box my ears in then?’ and they were all ‘You cheeky bastard! When you popped off to be all happy in the forest of tall a captain came in and schooled our asses in a way most rude!’” Wait. Quick breakdown of shinigami ranks?

“Er, by order of power, you got the scrubby members. Then you got the seated officers which goes to around twenty or so up to three. Then you get the lieutenants who are sort of pretty strong and captains who are sort of really strong. Then squad zero who are a thing, but we don’t know about them.” You explain. Cool, have at it then.
(cont.)

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“Right, so Wolf-Bro, name of Jäger, and I let bygones be bygones and joined up. We also teamed up with a giant spider hollow named Charlotte who was in charge of a rebellion against the current king of the hollows. I did not care much about the war but the current king had more soldiers than the rebels did. More soldiers means more food. More food means more power. I should point out that my primary weapons were shapeshifting, cloaking, and speed which allowed me to hit people hard and fast while Wolf-bro had a metric assload of spikes he shot at the enemy. Anydoodle, we hear about these generals who live in the palace and are the primary warriors of the hollow king. I shapeshifted and cloaked to hide the smell of my gojuice. I then went into the palace and meet an arrancar, the humany ones remember, by the name of Quesufre Sin-Fin. She was really sad and I offered her shortbread. Pretty sure she still has it in her room. I used her to take me to the palace and I see the king. He didn’t find my offer of shortbread to be very fun and says he is going to torture Sin-Fin for it. He was a cocksucker. He was big and armored and jerkish, glad he got what was his. Shit! Spoiler warning, I guess.” You look apologetic while you stroke your face thoughtfully.

“Sin-Fin was the General of misery, but there were two more generals who were also arrancared up and strong. So I eventually went back and told the others what I found. While on patrol Jager, Charlotte, and I all sort of got ambushed by one of those generals. A warthog general I think he was. The general managed to kill charlotte before we took him down. Jager and I fought about who got to eat the body and I won the argument then I hit Vasto Lorde. Oh, I then found out I was a girl, which was neat I guess, and some of the voices in my head told me they cannot emotionally relate to a girl. It all worked out in the end."
(cont.)

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"Then I ripped my face off and became an arrancar since I could not get any stronger as just a hollow. It was sort of like ‘Oh, Vasto? That’s cool. Right, bored of this now. Off with my face.’ I did it in front of Lucifer and it lasted for a few weeks. Also, and I can’t stress how weird this is enough, evidently Lucifer was the one who dressed me and did my nails. Yeah, that was weird." You shudder.

"Anyway, when you become an arrancar you seal part of your hollow powers in a sword; you can then use to return closer to your hollow side so I got one of them. I went back to Jager and made him change too and, by the will of James Buchanan, he turned out to be a she, which was a thing. We stormed the hollow palace with our army and avoid fighting Sin-Fin. We partnered with the not sin-fin general and killed the king. Then the general, and put Jager on the throne.” You pull out your bubble pipe and nod sagely as the room slowly starts to fill.
“Then I went to the human world and got a job teaching at a school. I met Ryoko, aka best scrub, the twincies Kouta, who is a good dude, and Friedhelm, who is a nazi with a thing for legs. Plus Akira, who is a prophet of some sort and Ryouichi who was the boy from before, the baby remember? Yeah, he went around pretending to be a lass and kissing boys. We also met these nofunigami who are okay named Ran and Hayato."

"They gave Ryouichi shinigami powers and he used it to fight. There were training montages, and eventually some shinigami come to capture hayato. We went after him because we thought he had this magical thingy inside him which Lucifer needed to open the gate to the soul king.” Mind explaining why you wanted to kill the soul king?
(cont)

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“A few reasons. One was a level of petty revenge I can’t quite totally explain. You break my plant, I kill your god. Second he turned out to be a great old one and is actually just devouring the souls in soul society. Soul Society was like his tummy. Third, punching the Soul King in the dick would have probably done something cool and it seemed like a fun way to kill a Tuesday night. Well, we stormed the palace, Hayato was going to be executed because of the dark plot of the rebel nofunigami who-“ Wait, who? “There were some nofunigami who were planning on rebelling against soul society for reasons I honestly did not give a damn about. But they were giving Jager a hard time and thought they could control the world of hollows because reasons. They wanted to use the apple, which we were thinking was in Hayato, to mass produce arrancars. So we stormed the castle, I made some funny jokes and then I met... him.”

You snarl and throw your glass into the fire place. What I had assumed was brandy explodes and sends a concussive wave over the room which knocks you on your back. You get up and dust yourself off before continuing. “That afro mother fucker, that shit headed cock weasel who dared to touch my god damn plant. My plant!” You shout then run your fingers through your hair to calm down. “So I saw this afro looking bastard and I may have gone a little crazy. I sang a nice song and murdered all the children around him in creative and violent ways. He suffered for what he did. Of course he did not actually remember it because to him it never happened. I was the only one who remembered. Just me. Then we get up to the top of the execution hill and I tried to save hayato."
(cont.)

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"There was this big fire bird thing which we pissed off and it tried to kill me, then I fired my laser at it and the force ripped a hole into hell. A giant hand came out of bloody nowhere, took the fire bird sword thing, and then buggered off back to hell. I was thinking we could work this mess out at that point, but then the rebels made their move. Sin-Fin got brought into soul society and she stabbed me. Ran got stabbed because it turns out she had the apple not Hayato. My toes then got cold and I was very confused.”

You pour yourself another drink and drop more of the frozen eyes in the glass. “We fought them off, I admitted I was a hollow, but in a good way, and then we left with no one wiser about who I am. I should probably point out that I lie a lot. Like, more than necessary in most situations. It is a coping mechanism for keeping back how awesome I am. We all left as Hayato got all weepy. Then we had to deal with the bounts who were these vampire guys who had teamed up with nazi quincies. The Nazi quincies got Friedhelm on their side while Kouta got the shit kicked out of him for saying ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t kill sensei? I mean, she is really bloody fit and have you seen her legs? Plus that ass! Plus she is funny and smells nice so don’t be a fag.’ Of course I-“ Wait, he didn’t say any of that. I mean, he probably said not to kill you because he sort of likes you as a person but I don’t think he went that far in describing your features. “He is a teenaged boy. He probably said all sorts of terrifyingly perverse things like, I don't know, that I was full of cicadas or something.” You don’t always really get how sex works do you?
(cont.)

>>31695405
>You snarl and throw your glass into the fire place. What I had assumed was brandy explodes and sends a concussive wave over the room which knocks you on your back. You get up and dust yourself off before continuing.
Was... was she drinking jet-fuel?

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You take a long drink of the glass of unknown material and glare at the fire. Ignoring my protests you continue. “So Kouta got beaten up to draw me out. The quincy king was sort of a dick and said I worked for him now. I found out they have been making the twincies mom tail me and she is the girl from before. Only since the plant was untimed instead of just happy doodles I evidently carved her face to ribbons and she was scarred from it. I told her I would help her save her sons and she joined me. We snuck into kouta and friedhelm’s place and pulled them through a garganta into hueco mundo!” Aren’t you forgetting something? “Like what?” You wonder whistling. Tell them about the flame snake. “Oh, yeah. Er, well, the bounts eat energy. They drink it really. So I pulled one into Hueco Mundo and, if you recall from before about just tons of ambient energy everywhere, she got strong. Like, really strong. Then she escaped so that is a thing which sort of happened. Sin-Fin, Hollow Rider and I eventually took care of it but it may have sort of done a lot of damage to the desert.” You explain clearing your throat. “Anyway, I got the twincies and twincy mom to Jager’s palace in Hueco Mundo just in time for a rebellion from the neoarrancar, the arrancar made by the apple and we had a bit of a nice fight. Jager got magic vampire spikes from a rapping scientist arrancar. We fought, one of them was French and I may have sort of accidently got so mad I forgot how words worked and I destroyed his every parts. Then I killed the leader of the rebels and did drugs for a while. It was fun, but I lost my pants at some point.” You remember the dark days of no pants.

“After getting my pants back I decided to kill all of the quincies. It wasn’t really hard actually, and I even managed to kill the king. Well, it looked that way anyway. So after I killed all of them the blood all sorts of pools and binds the souls in the room."
(cont)

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"A bount was there and he cast a spell which caused a big rock to crack and we got sucked into Fenrir’s cage. We escape and it turnrf out the quincy king was actually Loki and he was not dead. He kicked the scubs asses, felt me up a little, then buggered off. So Fenrir’s cage is currently weakening and ragnarok has started but we still have a while before it gets really bad probably. Oh, that was also when I used my second release for the first time I think.”

You take a drink and smack your lips as you look over the painting. “When an arrancar uses their sword to recover their hollowish power they get what is called a first release. The second release is where you descend down a particular part of your humanity and become even stronger. My path, it seems, is the path of delight.

You resume your story "So after that happened we got ordered to go kill a guy from Lucifer. The guy was old and was about to die himself, and when he died we got sent up to the moon. We did a world hopping adventure in which Jager became a werewolf and Dominic Fuego, a man who calls himself THE GREAT ME with a daughter who he stole from the fallen angel of gluttony, became an elf or something. Fuego we met when he tried to take jager’s throne and we thought he was super cool so we kept him around. Anyway, we got to the center of the moon and it turned out the moon was Caine. You know, the brother slayer? Yeah, we fought, we won, and then we fed him to Jager. It was adorable, I had a big spoon and- Wait, no I didn’t Why didn’t I play the airplane game with Jager? That is just bollocks. So then Jager stared getting close to powering up. After that we invaded soul society again because Nobuhiko, the leader of the rebel nofunigami, wanted to. We went after him and find Fuego is fighting one of Lucifer’s agents in Soul Society. We let him turn into his fallen angel form and he turned into a giant fire king-fisher.”
(cont)

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Belted kingfisher “Belted Kingfisher. He killed the rapping scientist who had a magic science caddy and knew the secret to restoring hollow sex drives. He died as he lived, smoking a joint and with a bitch on his dick.” You pour your drink onto the floor in memory of him.

“Well, the fallen angel was sort of killing everything so I go after Sin-Fin. She was at the execution hill and had the nofunigami leader in her black dress which eats people and feels nice to step on barefoot. These lights formed in the sky and the fallen angel got to have a nice family reunion. A squad of angels all stomped the ever loving fuck out of Caim, the fallen angel we got mad at us. I was unable to help because I looked up in the whole of the infinite heavens and saw the face of god. It sort of broke my soul parts and left a small opening where I could get new upgrades once it healed. I got taken back to the shrine, everyone was there, I got mad they were all in my house. I started thinking up ways to get at the soul king since that angel stuff happened and we had a gay old time of it. At this time I explored the lab of the dead scientist and found a new cd from him, a common occurrence, and a prototype species he made I called Zweity who has tits and ass and quincy powers plus a whole slew of other powers but her mind wasn’t all there because she was just a widdle Zweity Bitey” You pour another drink.

“We went back and Mari was cool teaching Zweity, in fact she was cool in general. Then I told Ryouichi I killed his parents which sort of made him a little bitter at me. My go juice was not even close to recovered but I figured it was no big deal. Turned out he was not cool with that at all. So I found out he was holding an edgy rape show at the school and was torturing and raping all these nofunigami and hollows and people. I started insulting him and he didn't take it too well." Not well at all really.
(cont)

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"He then went into Hueco Mundo and started fucking shit up there. I went there and continued hurling insults at him, then tried to take his power. It did not work, but I managed to get a tiny amount of go juice from him. Seriously, you can’t just steal god parts. Then I turned my back on him and he stabbed my ass and I burned all my fatebreakers to turn back time. I stopped myself from telling him I killed his parents and just sat in my room until my power recovered.” Yeah, not our best day. “Then the Christmas omake where I got a single fatebreaker back, that was fun. Then the shrine got attacked by niphilim who it turns out are Mormons. We fought them off, but they tasted just weird. Like string cheese with no taste and crackers. I shapeshifted into little Risa, who is in some ways best Risa, and infiltrated their headquarters. I got funeral potatoes and discovered angels were starting to make their way groundside.

You walk over to your record player and put on The Velvet Underground. You take a relaxing drink as the ode to bdsm wafts over the room. “So after that I eventually invaded soul society for the final time. While Lucifer and his men fought the soul king main body I went in through soul society into his core. Jager, Sin-Fin and I all went and entered his core after finding the Captain Commander of Soul Society was just awful and a shoggoth. We broke into the soul king’s core, beat him, and I ate a small part of him. Now, normally that would not have worked but God touched my soul parts so that it would and to fuck with Lucifer because he really doesn’t like him. I reached my arm into the broken reality of the old one’s passing and pulled my plant out from untime. Lucifer showed up, was kind of miffed I had part of the soul kings power, and tried to obliterate me."
(cont.)

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"Luckily my gem kept me alive forever unless eaten, then we got control of Jager. There was an incident and Jager went a little bad for a while, then we used a miracle point to bring her back to less bad and we all learned a lesson about agency. I got brought back by some ancient ritual and Jager seemed to have discovered the trick to hollow sex drives too with how she had been looking at the muscular men we have around the shrine. We healed up, and then we met asmodeus. She was sort of cool and didn’t want to, like, fight or anything. Just sort of wanted to hang which we are cool with.”

“Then we decided to do a bit of relaxation and went on a trip to the northern hot springs. The place was filled with ice because of someone I probably forgot and I may have gotten slothed. We discovered someone had been using their powers to steal lady’s knickers at the inn and went after him because he took my Doctor Who shirt. I made a guitar out of miracle and tooth and it became pretty awesome, though my tooth still hasn’t grown back. We killed the guy who did it all and discovered he had gotten those powers from wishing on a djinn. Caede, THE GREAT ME’S daughter who he stole from the fallen angel of gluttony, warns us that djinn are super dicky and we decided not to make a wish and just ate the lamp.” You nod in satisfaction.
(cont.)

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“So I snowboarded, then it turned out I was being watched. I attacked the people who were watching me and then they hit me with a laser cannon from space. Seriously, like they had magical snipers and Chinese mages plus a giant ass laser cannon in space created by Ronald Reagan to fight the red menace wherever they went. Well, I fought the commander of the enemies who had a scary goth chick working for her. I managed to kill the commander who was in a magical suit, but I got caught in a trap. A pillar of magical energy exploded from below and the laser cannon fired on me and I nearly died. Also the Goth chick? Yeah, she was a devil worshiper so guess what happened.” They shouldn’t have to guess this is a recap. “Oh yeah, I will just tell you then. So she used her soul to cast a spell and when the pillar of magic hit the space cannon laser it tore a hole in reality which was big enough for Lucifer to start slipping through without his family knowing about it. One deal with the devil later and we were on the same team again assuming I could get stronger by the time he shows up.” He is a good lot, that devil guy.

“Well, after that I found out the angels were planning to attack Asmodeus and we went to warn her. She got pissed and fought them off and we helped. In the process we ate an angel and it was really tasty.” Like sex really “So that all worked out. Then Michael, the archangel, showed up and said ‘Hey, knock it off.’ And he turned out to be a sort of chill fellow. A blind fanatic but still an all-around good sort. I was cool with that and we all left happy. Except for the angel I killed and ate I guess. Then I bonded with Ryoko by getting her grandmother saved by the handsome shinigami doctor and raised her affection level. After that I took Sin-Fin out and discovered she is sort of really crazy still and I saw Ryouichi being really crazy too. Ryouichi was still awful and I decided I would have no more of his sass."
(cont.)

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"He got all bitchy and whiney and then we fought. I managed to knock him on his arse, but Sin-Fin got impaled. This was bad as my power of regeneration is really rare and unique and she didn’t really have regen. She used some ability and got a customized hairstyle and outfit and imitated how she thought of me and then healed because she had some copy power. Then I ate Ryouichi.” Got two fatebreakers from it too.

“After that I, er, I guess I took Sin-Fin to the aquarium and I was adorable then we took Sin-Fin out clothes shopping. That leads us to where we are now. That was good for a recap right?” You ask looking up. Well, it was okay. You missed a few small things but you got most of it sort of right. Next introduce the characters.

“Character intro? Alright, fine. I am, of course, Risa Schrödinger. A Vasto Lorde Arrancar/Sort of okay youngish one. I am British for some reason and sort of a fan of Doctor Who. My primary fighting method is hand to hand combat using a martial art called capoeira combined with a staggering number of lasers. My pants have a sort of folded space I named inventory which I use to pull out any number of amusing things. My favorite food is Swedish Fish and I am particularly fond of British Punk Rock. I was born probably in the 50s or 40s and died around 79. My path is hedonistic delight and joy, which means I try to have fun with it. I was a teacher for a while, and will probably try and take another go at it. I am sort of all the awesome. That thing in my head,” Hello! “Is monologue. She handles the narration and smells like grapefruits sometimes. If you are truly curious I smell like brown sugar and honey. The things I am good at are wide and varied but I seem to be good at maths and arts stuff somehow. When I was alive I seem to have traveled all over the world and learned a great number of things.
(cont.)

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I am not good with Mobius strips, they scare me. I can’t do stairs well for some reason, whenever I try to climb them things just turn out awful. I like those potatoes and while I am strong I am also nowhere near the strongest of beings. Death by Suicide.”

You reach into a book and flip through the pages until you find one of Jager. “This is Veloces Jäger. She is bigger than me. She is actually really nice and compassionate and not just for a hollow, but really for anyone. She makes lots of dakka and shoots people from far away. She is also able to second release and her path is humanity or empathy or something like that. She smells like green apples. She has had a few chances to kill me but never takes than and when I am feeling down she is always there to cheer me up even if she isn’t very good at it. Also, her chest is big, like why does that happen? It is baffling to me. Truly the single most vexing thing I shall ever consider.” Stay on target. “Right! She has a sex drive and tries to keep it under wraps. I teased her for it for a while and then she ended up locking me in a room full of Mobius strips. It was very troubling and I am super sorry.”

“We think she may have died in Germany after being betrayed and hurt by someone. Not saying it was Nazis, but it was probably Nazis. She is the one companion who has stayed with us since the very beginning. She has some emotional thing about children and sometimes breaks into tears. She likes to spoil kids which makes her lovely but also I sometimes get jealous and act out because no one gets me, you know?”
(cont)

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You pull out a picture of the miserable Sin-Fin. “This is Quesufre Sin-Fin. She is all sorts of batshit and is really, really old. We think she is Eve actually, and she regrets a lot of things that happened. There is some weird metaphysical thing going on with her and she might have been the prototype hollow invented by Lucy goosy himself. The jury is still out on that. Her main power is she can force an enemy’s body to remember every wound they ever got all at once. Any old healed wounds, or minor bumps or scrapes all rip open and come back at full force. She also has some number of releases and as a side effect of her path she constantly sees very judgmental ghosts of people she knows or knew. She so far has shown the Risa transformation and she gets customizable hairstyles! Customizable hairstyles! Anyway she spirals further downward into insanity the stronger she gets and the happier she becomes. So that’s a thing.”

“She has the weirdest ability to draw out the latent homosexuality in women.” Come on, there are like two who have the homolust for her. “The point stands. Anyway, she doesn’t notice it but still it is vexing. She smells sort of citrusy, like oranges or something.” You explain. Is the smell that important? “Yes, probably.”
(cont)

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“Next is Dominic Fuego, he is called THE GREAT ME. He challenged Jager for the throne of king and got his ass kicked by yours truly. He is a pretty funny guy though, so we kept him around. He is in obscenely good shape and makes other men feel lazy when he walks into a room with his shirt off. He has a daughter named Caede who is a demon, recently upgraded to hell knight. She adores him terribly and will pretty much do anything for him. He is a lion fire hollow with some cool moves which he never shows off and he has a tendency of going into dramatic speeches explaining how great he is. He will regularly have Caede carve his image into different things and treat it as a gift. He smells like sweet smoke of some kind.”

You pull down the image of a lazy looking man with a small smile. “This is Aterrorizando Relajación. Also called the rape sloth. We don’t talk about the rape sloth, he is just horrifying.” You explain throwing the image into the fire where you know the flames are going to get slothed. “Next are the Twincies, Friedhelm and Kouta. Kouta is sort of a good kid and he does his best to not be a total fuck up. He thought the Nazi quincy were sort of all the awful. He is pretty bad at shooting a bow, but he does what he can. A fan of large chests. Smells like detergent, has little soul and body odor. His brother is a legs man and is kind of a Nazi quincy sympathizer. He is an awful little shit who sold his family out to get in good with the other quincy, but you brought him to your palace full of soul eating monsters. Smells metally.”
(cont)

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You pull out a picture of Ryoko. “This is Ryoko. She is best scrub and her name changes like the tides and seasons. She is a berserker and is actually useful in a fight, unlike most humans. We sort of screwed up our original meeting with her, but it all turned out well in the end I think. She is a teenager with dyed hair and piercings. Also she sleeps around a lot and sometimes I worry she will get teen pregnant. Then I get bored and ignore it. She lives with her ailing grandmother who is a shrewd merchant. She smells like cigarettes and cherry perfume.” You explain.

“Akira is a prophet, who is sort of super creepy. We have no idea who he works for but it might be bears. Time bears. I don’t do bears well. Anyway, he and Ryouichi were pals for a while, but then he grew a third eye because I made him and he became sort of evil. We keep him around because we are a little scared of him. Smells like eucalyptus a little.” You explain.

“Last, and probably least, is Ryoucihi Saito. This kid was made for big things but then we infected him with our crazy and made him turn into a rapist McEdgeguy. He had the power to take an imprint of powers pushed on him so he got hollow, and shinigami, and some other stuff all mixed in. He killed us once and we were super pissed about that. We finally killed him and ate his fatebreakers to restore a small amount of our own. He smelled slightly of lust and sweet insanity. He was sort of really homosexual too. He was big on men. Big for men.” Ah, I see what you did there.
(cont)

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You sit back down in your chair and puff on your bubble pipe. “That about does it as far as characters are concerned and should be enough to fill newcomers in. If any of you sort would like to pitch in to explain something, or ask anything, monologue will probably answer you. For the rest, on with the show!”

Time fades.
(cont)

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I feel like I should be writing down the list of smells.

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You are Risa Schrodinger, and you are someone who generally mucks up time. You feel your shard within your body shake and tremble, like you ate something you shouldn’t, but then you remember you should eat everything and laugh a little. You feel the winds of time and space warp and distort as you are sucked through a straw of the universe and sent hurtling towards some new place. You feel waves of energy overwhelm you as the unknown darkness of anti-time makes you-

“Hold on, anti-time? That doesn’t make an ounce of sense. That is like saying Anti-left. You have no idea what you are doing, do you?” You ask as you are pulled apart and reconstructed between worlds. Well, no, but it is boring to just say you get sucked into things. It is for imagery, shut your talking hole.

You feel yourself speed up as you plunge headfirst into a perfect ring of light. You hit the ground with a loud thump and roll over the street, bouncing and spinning as your inertia carries you further and further until you finally collide with a wall. You grumble as you push yourself up off the ground and spit out a tooth. You put your feet under you and crack your neck, the annoying strain of dimension hopping making you a little woozy. “Hey, I know this city. This is the hat place, right? So we can go back for the sofa?” You ask. This might be presofa world, I dunno “Well, that is distasteful. Anyone interesting in Hueco Mundo?” Not so much, no. I mean maybe if you like scrub politics? “Is orange at school?”
(21/22)

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As if to answer your question you smell a blast of energy from that bastard kid who should be in class. You frown deeply as you extend your senses and see what this world can offer you. The shop is still very shop like, under a weak cloaking field. The school seems to have a slew of energy rich beings including a quincy. There is only one so it is probably not a twincy. Of course, you could try and find a way into either Soul Society or go to Hue Co. in order to dick around.

What shall we do?
[] Go to the school for school time shenanigans
[] Go complain to mac and cheese that he is not in class
[] To the shop. We can be hat wearing people together
[] To Hue Co.
[] Other, please specify
(22/22)

>>31696687
>[x] Go complain to mac and cheese that he is not in class
Messing with Orange is fun.

>>31696687
>[] To Hue Co.
Wow that was long. Want some constructive criticism on the quest?

>>31696687
>[] Go complain to mac and cheese that he is not in class

Education is important damn it!

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>changing tenses halfway through
>mattering to a time-traveling crazy person
It would be weirder if you didn't.

Also, you forgot to mention The Plant who may or may not be Malal r63x2 or not. I believe they were also grapefruit-scented but theirs scared off Monologue for some reason.
>plotting
I really am liking this r63 pic of Madoka that I found for how I imagine the plant looking like. It be close-ish?

>>31696687
Badger sharp chedder about ditching

>>31696687
>Tang needs his education. Time to bitch at him.

>>31696687
>[] To Hue Co.
I want the couch.

Think we could get carrot top to help us steal the couch? I mean, I doubt we need his help, but it would be funny.

>>31696881
This is precouch

>>31696797
Slightly girlier and that's pretty much exactly how I see plantbro.

>>31696923
Then Orange shouldn't be alive yet, probably. The timeline of Aizen recruiting Arancar makes no sense.

>>31696954
I wonder if this means Risa eventually gets to eat Pinky through extra dimensional shenanigans? Or feed her to Jäger.

Also, we should call orange Julius a truant.

>>31696753
Certainly. That is one of the primary reasons I made these sort of things

>>31696797
A bit girlier in the face but that is how I see it.
>>31696978
It really doesn't.

Looks like bothering Sunny-D about school seems to win? writing now.

>>31696923
>>31696978
Actually it >might be pre couch

>>31697027
The wolfu must be fed.

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“That little- doesn’t he know how hard it is to get a proper education? Here I am, slaving away to try and teach these little gob shites what it means to be a productive member of society and it’s like why? You know. Just why?” You ask. You should go educate that kid.

“You know what? I think I should.” You agree and, with a push of energy, sonido off towards grapefruit.

You leap over buildings and through parks and see the orange haired kid standing over the spirit of a small boy. There is a hollow centipede behind him which he seems to have taken care of. He is patting the boys head and giving his stereotypical longing gaze towards the boy. “-I am sure you will be reunited with your mom soon.” He explains.

“B-But I am scared (big bro)” The child says

“Don’t worry. I am sure you will meet your mother soon.” He explains as he puts the hilt of his sword to the boy and he scatters into small motes of light.

“You seem to be getting the hang of this (strawberry)” A girl with no body says walking over. “It is a relief you can use my powers so well.

Well, seems you can probably try to mess with them a bit.

[] Go up to them directly and drag them to school
[] Attack them for missing out on their scholarly duties!
[] Try and damage reality a little. See what happens. At the very least it is bound to be neat.
[] Other, please specify

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>>31697031
>A bit girlier in the face but that is how I see it.
Also have this sylveon gijinka that I edited the ribbons off of. Closer?

>>31697237
>Go up to them directly and drag them to school
It's time for education.

>>31697237
Time for illusion school wonderland.

Trap him in a fantastical episode of Risa's magic fuckin' schoolbus. He's going to learn about the digestive system of the ardvark hands-on.

>>31697252
A bit further perhaps

>>31697305
Damn.
It took fucking forever to edit all those ribbons off and make it not look like total dogshit. You have no idea.

>>31697237
>[x] Go up to them directly and drag them to school

Truants! This is unacceptable. Next thing you know, they'll be wearing pompadours and squatting next to derelict buildings!

>>31697287
This is the best plan. Now we can save two delinquents, and still have magical adventures.

Though maybe though Hue Co. We can have a tour bus and everything

>>31697287
This!

>>31697364
We can BE the tour bus and have an illusion hologram Risa be the Frizzle onboard.

Shapeshifting is the best power.

>>31697332
Your work is appreciated!
>>31697287
>>31697364
Risa's knowledge of many thing is suspect at best so it won't be the digestive system of the aardvark as much as "How risa things digestive systems work in general and how specifically they work in aardvarks"

So we want to try and be an illusionary teach in a maze of magic school busitude?

Writing now

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>>31697385

>>31697385
ITT: Hollow Quest Redux; Come for the crazy, stay for the flesh bus

>>31697435
At some point, we're going to need to kidnap his entire class and take them on a Hue Co field trip to watch the menos be tall.

Constantly reassure them all that it's totally safe as long as you keep your hands and feet inside the cloaking field.

And it better be a right proper double decker bus.

>>31697031
>Certainly. That is one of the primary reasons I made these sort of things
Basically, you shouldn't have gotten us involved with heaven as fast as you did. Essentially, we jumped from being one of the biggest fish in a small pond, to being a very small fish in an ocean. Furthermore, you implied that the final arc was fast approaching and neither us nor our allies were anywhere near ready, and made it basically impossible to set up our cult. Which is why we immediately went in a detour in search of one of the several lakes to cannibalize all the fish in there. Which, honestly you handled pretty poorly since you essentially ignored the players stated goal of getting strong enough to be able to handle the heavenly host in return for a weird lighthearted romp. Now things seem to be getting closer to the head again and we're still way out of our league here and surrounded by beings who we stand no realistic chance against in a fight, several of whom want to murder us.

If you want advice on where to go from here, I'd recommend putting the vast majority of the demons and angels on a bus for a while, especially the archangels. Like, Loki manages to release the Greek Titans from their ancient prison, so everyone has to go wander off and beat them up for the next 6 months or so. Meanwhile, Loki unleashes whatever plan he has cooked up for japan, we eat our way through his minions and foil his schemes and when all the Christians wander back over here we're like young archangel tier with worshipers and our territory and minions appropriately upgraded.

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“As an educator it is only proper that I be the one to teach him the error of his ways.” You explain as you extend your go juice out and around the area. “Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?” You really don’t want me to answer that.

The black haired girl, looks like a Debra to me, pulls in close to Tangerine as your illusions start to warp the park. The trees start shaking and then suddenly jolt and twist at odd angles. The ground around them starts creating waves which make it difficult to stand on and the sky darkens and then falls. It stops just above their heads and bounces there in place for a few moments, like falling from a string or puppet work. The sky wraps around them and forms into a bus which you sonido yourself on. You put on your best educator smile, with one hand on your hip, and throw your head back a little so you are looking down at them. “(Strawberry)!” Debra shouts pointing at you.

Agent Orange raises his sword and looks ready to attack. “Who are you? How did you warp us here?” He demands.

“I am an educator, young man. This is so weird, since I already know you but you don’t- anyway. I am here to make sure you unsavory lot don’t end up with pompadours and squat outside convenience stores and you!” You shout pointing at Debra. “You will dye your hair and get heavy makeup. Pretty soon you have piercings and after your graduate you start living with a man who can’t provide for you so he pimps you out. Then you will get hooked on hard drugs and die of an overdose after a gang bang goes wrong. So bloody wrong.” Gang bangs can be fun and safe if done properly. “That’s right and you! Your name is silly! Who names their orange headed child after a strawberry! That is just silly!” You explain furious.

“What the hell do you think you are-“ He starts but you sonido over to him and grab him by the front of his robe.
(1/2)

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You slam him into the bus' windows and your eyes get that meth head quality which make it look like you last slept when elephants were the pinnacle of modern military technology. “How do you think your teachers feel when you skip out like this on their lessons? The lesson plans which they lovingly created for you just so you can get a proper educational experience. Don’t underestimate grown-ups kid.” You command and then drop him to his seat.

You sonido back to the front of the bus and sit in the driver’s chair. “Now then! For today’s lesson I am going to show you the digestion process of the low land aardvark. Keep your hands and feet inside the bus at all times and if you scream I will probably not hear you!” You say using your gravity and a bit of clever shifting to make them feel the acceleration.

You conjure what you are pretty sure an aardvark is in front of the buss and start making it grow, the gravitational warping making the kids feel a little sea sick. “As you can see, we first enter the mouth, located just below the first brain of the aardvark. From there we go to the, uh. The...” You narrow your gaze. “Hey guys, what part connects to the mouth?” You ask.

[] The throat, duh
[] The hippocampus, where gum is digested
[] The thyroid which is normally removed in humans due to its tendency to create bats.
[] The bladder. It is where water goes to become pee
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31697896
>[] The throat, duh

>>31697896
>[x] The thyroid which is normally removed in humans due to its tendency to create bats.
Batroids, GO!

>>31697896
>[] The hippocampus, where gum is digested

It's right next to the third brain at least.

>>31697896
>The throat, duh

>>31697531
This is pretty relevant, really. The powerlevels in this quest jump around like Mexican beans.

It's fun to read, mind, just a bit of an observation there.

>>31697896
>[x] Other, please specify
The [don't say a work, just make a screeching inhaling noise], which is a scale replica of Detroit except made out of aardvark meat.

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>>31697531
Hm, I see. I took the break as something else entirely and then when people started dropping off I thought it was due to the thread just not seeming to go anywhere so I moved things up to put the story on some sort of active arc.

Thank you for your input I will certainly keep it in mind when planning where the quest should go from here.

>>31697958
>work
word*

>>31697896
>[x] Other, please specify

Don't get so caught up in convention! The key to a good lesson plan is flexibility and creativity. Don't know where the mouth leads? Then just power through and go from there!

>>31697896
I'm pretty sure the mouth connects to the medulla oblongata.

No I don't know what that is

>>31697958
Yes.

in this part of the aardvark, all the little homies package food into sketchy little bundles and then push em on the streets. That's how food gets into the aardvark's stomach.

>>31697896
>[X] The thyroid which is normally removed in humans due to its tendency to create bats.

So we go with either the throat or thyroid

>>31698211
Combine them? It's the throat, but sometimes they swallow food the wrong way and it goes down the thyroid which then compresses the food into a bat and they cough it up.

>>31697966
Yeah, it was supposed to be less of a break arc and more of a "Leave the angels alone until we can fight them without instantly dying to an archangel teleport gank."

>>31698296
I like this idea

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The throat. Or thyroid. The mouth bone connects to the dunna dunna th-something. “It connects to, you know, that th-“ You pretend to clear your throat as if you were coughing.

“What?” The one who is far too orange to be a strawberry asks furrowing his eyebrows.

“You know, the song. It’s like, dunna dunna the th-“ you mumble at the end and the Debra girl frowns.

“Did you just say the ‘I am sort of interested in the flat girl too?’” She asks pulling up her arms. Man she has good hearing.

You turn and plunge down into the th- something or other and see tiny wiggly gum men. They all pack up the food and start shoveling it into the, uh, you know the next part. The most interesting part of the aardvark really. You see quite a few of the sum men are wearing outfits with colorful bandannas or rags and they seem to keep looking at the other bandana and rag wearing people with disdain. “As you can see, children who I may end up violating anally, these workers down here in, you know, this part of the body are very divided and- oh shit they looked at us. Lock your windows children. Lock the windows.” You command speeding up on the bus.

“Who are you?” Tangerine dreams asks and you glance back at him.

“Look, this is a really bad part of the aardvark okay? The school district shut down and the jobs left so this is the only job available which will take people with a record. Just go, go my little bus!” You command and speed out. “Oh, here is an interesting part of the aardvark, it’s the, uh”

You really need to open a book sometime.
[] Stomach. Seriously, it isn’t hard the digestive tract is like a big tube.
[] Uterus. It is where babies happen via, uh, you know. Magic? Or, wait, I know I used to know this I swear
[] Tonsils, which naturally produces ice cream for the body. When removed creatures have to buy ice cream, or tonsil secretions, from other places.
[] Other, please specify

>>31698453
>[] Tonsils, which naturally produces ice cream for the body. When removed creatures have to buy ice cream, or tonsil secretions, from other places.

>>31698309
True. They know where we live, and if an archangel decides to up and murder us all there's not much we can do to stop them. I mean, sure an archdemon might intervene and help out, but trusting overpowered NPC's to bail us out isn't really very fun. Especially when they're demons.

>>31698453
>[] Stomach. Seriously, it isn’t hard the digestive tract is like a big tube.

Books are for losers. If you yell enough, reality just has to agree eventually.

>>31698453
>[x] Stomach. Seriously, it isn’t hard the digestive tract is like a big tube.
Risa read a book you British nog.

>>31698309
I had fun with the SoL and we got Idemque+genie lamp out of it. So that was neat.

>>31698453
>Stomach

>>31698542
Yeah, it was fun. But it didn't really accomplish what it set out to do, avoid Forgotten Realms syndrome via powerleveling.

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>>31698592
So powerleveling is what people want? Okay, I can wiggle that in certainly.

Seems it is the stomach now? Writing

>>31698630
>So powerleveling is what people want? Okay, I can wiggle that in certainly.
Sort of. Basically, we don't want to be surrounded by people who could kill us and our friends with minimal effort. Whether you want to do that by powerleveling us and our followers or by putting the people who can squash us on the other side of the planet for a bit is your choice.
To start off though, you should probably make clearer how we can use the plot rock to make the nofunagmi morefungami.

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“The stomach.” You explain. “Seriously, the digestive system is like a big tube you know.” You only know that because the others said something. “I- uh, oh look!” You say pointing out the window at the stomach. “Here is everything it ever ate! There is the twin it consumed in the womb. Like all mammals the aardvark generally starts off as twins. One of them usually eats the other one in the womb, which means any twins you see made a deal to get the rest of us and should be killed on sight.” You explain.

“Over there is some grass! Just like with people, anything the aardvark eats gets stored in here forever, never leaving and making the stomach bigger and increasing the hunger of the beast.” You point out and nectarine frowns, relaxing a little since you don’t seem to plan on hurting them.

“No, that isn’t what happens. When it goes in it eventually has to come out just like with people.” He explains, being particularly orange today.

“What? Where on earth would it go?” You ask tilting your head.

“You know out. In, like poop.” He answers and you laugh.

“Oh, silly orange. Pretty girls don’t poop except on certain niche fetish sites you are far too young to go on seriously we should have a talk about this when you are not trapped on a bus made of nightmares.” You laugh. “Isn’t that right girl who a voice in my head is sort of starting to become more attracted to?” You ask.

She gives a nod. “That sounds about right to me.”
(1/2)

>>31698630
Ehhh, partly that, partly I just want there to not be such a ridiculously huge gap in power levels. Maybe we have some misconceptions about the whole thing and it's not actually so bad?

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>My face when finishing reading the recap and suddenly a demented version of magic school bus appears.

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“See? Over there you can see small tube worms, working hard to make sure the aardvark, the most nimble of all the elk family, can use it’s spring like legs to push the stomach up and give it a momentary three * boost to power.” You lecture. “There, the cream cake is the gateway to our next destination, the uh…

[] Scrotum, where the aardvark hides his power core
[] The small intestine. Big tube remember? It absorbs nutrients or something
[] The cero gland, where it makes energy to protect itself from predators
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31698928
>[] The cero gland, where it makes energy to protect itself from predators

>>31698928
>[] The small intestine. Big tube remember? It absorbs nutrients or something

>>31698928
>[X] The cero gland, where it makes energy to protect itself from predators

Risa has an overdeveloped cero gland. It is a very serious medical condtion, and not something to be taken lightly.

>>31698928
>The Cero gland
I want to see what the small black-haired one who is clearly a nofunigami does.

>>31698928
>[] The small intestine. Big tube remember? It absorbs nutrients or something
>The small intestine also has cero glands embedded regularly in its walls. They're like adrenal glands; make an aardvark scared, and it pukes lasers.

>>31698928
>[x] Scrotum, where the aardvark hides his power core

In times of great strife, the aardvark can disengage the power core, allowing it to cruise at subliminal speeds indefinitely. However, this is generally avoided, as it is may be caught by predators that naturally prey on such slow creatures.

>>31698928
> The cero gland, where it makes energy to protect itself from predators

Risa actually knows hollow physiology pretty well.

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>>31698902
>>31698804
I can have the start of the next proper story thread be scrub experimentation and manipulation. While, yes, there is a huge gap between you and Lucifer and Michael there are also whole other categories of angels which can be a thing you need to deal with.

I think the problem may be overexposure to the "end goal" sort of characters. The ones who are literally some of the strongest in creation. I may have Loki take a more active role and set more easily attainable goals as having more screen time.

Would that help?

>>31699004
Does she even have physiology anymore? She's a toxic rock that puppets around ghost-meat in the vague shape of a British junkie.

>>31699020
Yes, I think it would help.

I never even realized it until you just said it, but it does seem rather odd that there's an entire spectrum of bullshit between us and God, but we've only been browsing around in the deep end.

The cero gland it is!

>>31699026

Close enough.
And there's less worry about correctness when you're dealing with ghost meat and dark juju.

I can't believe I didn't notice HQR was running for 3 hours

can we inject some crazy in carrot top? he's already like 5 or 6 different things

Ok. So everyone remembers the magic schoolbus episode where they get baked into a pie, right?

Instead of the lower intestine, the aardvark is totally going to have a pie factory. And it's going to bake our bus into a pie and then lay it in a pie egg.

>>31699147
Then we make Strawberry fight his way through the shell?

>>31699020
>I think the problem may be overexposure to the "end goal" sort of characters. The ones who are literally some of the strongest in creation. I may have Loki take a more active role and set more easily attainable goals as having more screen time.
That would help. I'd recommend more explicitly sending them somewhere else do deal with whatever. Like "All the archangels and demons are busy dealing with some apocalyptic evil somewhere or something. Its really epic and as a result everyone who could easily kill you is busy for the next bit."

>>31699147
what kind of pie?

>>31699179
Blueberry.

>>31699179
Poisonberry with lentils. It's not very good.

>>31699020
That sounds like an excellent idea. We need a hill to climb, not an unassailable wall.

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The cero gland most of us think. “Wait, most of you?” Yeah, we have a consensus thing going on up here. It is like parliament but, you know, it actually works.

“Most of us what?” Debra asks.

“No, not you two. I just learned something very troubling about my thought process.” You explain hanging a sharp left.

“Wait, if everything they eat never leaves then how exactly are we getting out?” Not!Pear asks judging you with his teenaged boy eyes.

“Wait till the end! Now here we see something really interesting, the Cero gland!” You say as you drive up to a pulsating, vein filled ask of flesh with crimson light spilling out.

“Cero!?” Debra asks making orange jump in shock.

“Rukia? What’s wrong?” Orange asks. Rukia? Oh yeah, that was it. Nice name that.

“That’s a hollow’s…” She bites her lip and narrows her eyes at you. “No, it’s nothing. I was just surprised is all.”

“I know, the cero gland looks a little enlarged doesn’t it? Let’s see if we can get a closer look and-“ You drive closer and see a cero shell surrounded by what looks like a horrible mix between iguanas and weevils all surrounded by cero light. “Well, I’ll be. It looks like this aardvark is pregnant!” You explain happily.

“That is not how ceros work!” Rukia protests and you blink. “Ceros don’t make babies!”
(1/2)

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You give a small laugh. “Of course not Rukia. Babies are made when one has unprotected tail ruffling. They have to touch all the tails, but when they do a mommy grows a few fetuses. Fetusi. The fetusi then go down into the cero gland and get saturated in the mommy’s cero light and cuddle up for warmth while the white blood cells wrap them in cero cocoon light. Then they realize they hate each other and eat one another. Then the cocoon leaves the body in the form of an egg. Truly a magical experience.” You sigh deeply then look scared. “Oh, uh, orange you did have the talk right? I mean you sort of get this is how babies happen? I know boys your age are creeped out by this talk.” You explain and orange looks at you with a show of both pity and concern.

“I can honestly say with 100% certainty I have never in my life had this particular talk. Why do you keep calling me orange anyway? My name is (strawberry)!” He protests.

“Yeah, that is a silly name. It doesn’t work for me. Look, I am sorry you had to find out about, you know, girl parts this way but it was bound to happen. Just, you know, now you know!” You explain turning as the white blood cells open their second mouths on their bottoms and hiss acid where your bus stood a moment ago. “Remember, make sure to only rub all the tails of the girl you love very much and you will be alright.”

You turn the corner into the, uh, the next part! “Which is?” You ask.

[] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?
[] The tear duct, where pee happens?
[] The Large intestine. Big! Tube! It isn’t that hard! Large intestine then colon, how can you not know this?
[] The tail part area. We may have to cover orange’s eyes for this
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

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>>31699449
>[x] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?

>>31699449
>[] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?

>>31699449
>The tail part area. We may have to cover orange’s eyes for this

>>31699449
>THE HEART

>>31699449
>[] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?

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>>31699449

>>31699449
>The Heart.

>>31699449
>[] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?

I thought our hollow hole was under our belly button. I mean, we can totally grow hearts down there if we want, but I don't think they're supposed to be there.

Should we start scratching at the hollow hole and show off the hearts we have in our gut to really drive home the crazy? We could detach a couple of them and hand them to Orange and Flatskank as souvenirs or something.

>>31699449
>[] The heart. You are in the general vicinity of where your hollow hole is so it would make sense right?

Pretty sure we might be insane though. The fastest way to a hollow's heart is through the stomach, right?

>>31699417
>That is not how ceros work
And how would YOU know? Do you have a cero gland? Can you shoot lasers out of your gob?

Alright then, the power of Ma-Ti it is.

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“Of course, as I am certain Rukia knows, after the cero gland comes the heart.” You explain turning down towards the spooky heart corridor

“The heart is in the upper left portion of your chest. It is in quadrant one if you want to use math.” Satsuma explains and you narrow your gaze.

“Don’t you get mathy on me boy.” You threaten as you come upon a stark white mask, stretched and molded into a perfect circle. “Here it is! The heart.” You smile.

“That’s a hollow mask!” Satsuma shouts and you glance back at him. “Well, of course it is! Hearts are hollow masks which haven’t follow developed yet. Look, hollow get a hole in them somewhere and then the white mask forms. The hole is where their heart used to live and their mask is their heart on the outside. How do you not know this? It is common sense!” You explain and Rukia puts her hand on her forehead.

“No, that isn’t common sense. This isn’t how bodies work. The human heart and mask are symbolic of-“ She starts.

“Symbolic shmimbolic. They have masks and hole in em. The mask comes from the hole, this is fact. Obviously the mask comes from the heart which is right here. Accept it or I swear I will hold you down and ruffle your tails so hard you will be nothing more than a mind broken tail slave!” You threaten.

“I don’t have tails.” Rukia points out.
(1/2)

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“You look about the age for them to sprout. Oh, maybe no one has ever made you want to make them come out. It is a physiological reaction which just sort of happens you see. But when I get my hands on you? I will cover you in cicadas until your tails burn so hot you will be afraid they will burn you. Then I will run my fingers through it. Maybe even rub my tails over yours, who know?” You ask, driving through the heart and making your way to the last stop of your journey.

By the way I find it somewhat disturbing that you seem to have your own little logic to how things are supposed to work. “I do what I can. Make with the options.”

[] Gizzard, where pies are made
[] The opium production factory
[] The place blood is made
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31700001
>[x] The opium production factory

>>31700001
>Other
The brain: seat of reason and logic in normal people, a swirling vortex of madness and dark desire in Risa.

>>31700001
We did the Cero, we did the heart, the only logical end point would be the Everybody Be Tall Forest.

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>>31700001
We should have taught biology at that school we burned down.

>[x] The opium production factory

>>31700001
>[X] The opium production factory

>>31700001
>[X] The opium production factory

Is it a sweatshop?

I think Risa forgot that this thing was supposed to be an aardvark. It's ok. Aardvarks aren't nearly this much fun.

>>31700001
[x] Other, please specify
Get the biohazard suits and lead them through whatever place it is we're going to. And then try to get them to eat some free samples.

>>31700001
>[X] The opium production factory

Opium production it is.

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“The last stop on the tour of the body is the opium production factory.” You explain pulling to a stop as small goblins shovel white powder into furnaces.

“Lady, what is wrong with you?” Orange asks and you tap the wheel.

“I am a terribly lonely woman with phenomenal cosmic power and a staggering amount of insecurities I need to work through by being around other people and letting them validate me. Anyway, this is where goblins use the parts of the body to create hair. As we all know a moose’s-“ aardvarks “aardvark’s hair is pretty much pure opium. That is why the US government, under the command of ‘Raging Ronald Reagan’ instituted an importation ban. Any aardvarks found in any US state or protectorate was to be shot on sight. A terrible tragedy really. Hey!” You shout and wave one of the goblins over.

The goblin looks at you, takes off his gloves and walks over. “Can we help you, gob?” he asks looking shifty. “Wait, you, uh, you aren’t a cop right gob? Because you have to tell me if you are, gob.” He explains.

“No, I am not a policeman.” Woman. “Policewoman. Look, I need to get out of this majestic beast, you think you could let me use your furnace?” You ask and the Goblin shifts from one foot to the other.

“I dunno, gob. I mean, I might get in some serious trouble with my bosses if I do that, gob.” He points out.

You reach into your pants and pull out a stack of money. “Let me rephrase. Can I use one of your furnaces?” You ask.
(1/2)

>>31700513
We need to get Sin Fin an aardvark.

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“Sure thing, Gob!” He smiles taking the money, taking off his shirt, and rubbing it over his nipples tenderly.

“Remember that kids, money makes the world go round. It is criminal they make us have to work for it when it is a basic need.” You explain with a huff as the money gets sucked into the goblin’s nipples. I know for a fact that isn’t how those things work. “Really? It would explain why when I sleep naked on my pile of money none of it vanishes. Learn something new every day.” You say driving up the chimney, surrounded by the pleasant opium cloud.

You leave the beast and let the bus fade, allowing the pair of them to return to reality. “Well, I hope you kids learned something without having to go to school! Just remember your teacher will be worried sick about you and-“

“(Strawberry)!” A voice calls out. You turn and see a second Satsuma. He clings to the robe wearing orange and starts crying. “(Strawberry), where did you go? Orihime was worried about you and Karin and Yuzu started to figure out it was me instead!”

“Kon!” Orange says looking at him relieved. “How long was I gone?” He asks.

“You and rukia-nee were gone all day and, oh who is this?’ he asks looking at you, shivering in rage.

“A twin.” You note, angry at the deception! This was their plan all along! You knew it!

“Eh? We may wish to run.” Rukia says as your eye twitch turns into a nose bleed.

[] Run away!
[] Attack!
[] Parley! We must find out their dark plan
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31700582
>[x] Attack!

one of them is a nazi.

attack the new one!

>>31700582
[x] Run away!
We must flee to the domain of hats!

>>31700582
>[X] Parley! We must find out their dark plan

>>31700582
>[X] Parley! We must find out their dark plan

>>31700582
>Other
Turn up the gravity a little.

They will not leave until they explain this duplicity.

>>31700582
Start shouting about how twins don't exist and then use Illusions to make it so none of them can perceive Kon.

Illusions are fun; it's a shame they're bad against everything that's not weaker than you already.

>>31700582
Gravity the two strawberries together and then illusion up a womb around them. Tell them that they aren't leaving the gravi-womb until there is only one.

THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE.

>>31700582

I'll second this option:

>>31700647


But draw it out! We don't know if these twins are like the twincies with all the neo-nazism, or members of some other fell organization. There may be other cels hidden all over the world. We need more information!

>>31700582
Seconding >>31700673

>>31700582
>[X] Parley! We must find out their dark plan

We should go to soul society, find Aizen and ask him for a sofa.

>>31700785
no, this time we take Byakuya's hat

>>31700801
He has a hat?

>>31700683
That can be the first question
"Veech vahn off du ist zee Naht-zee?"

"Vieleicht ist es du, Erdbeer Zwei? Vehre are your papieren?"

>>31700582
"I easily have over 5 times as many speed stars as any of you. And I could just do the grainy thingy that makes everyone all wobbles if I didn't feel like chasing. So go ahead. Run."

>>31700902
We could also try launch one or more of them into orbit. We could have a real-life space ghost!

Looks like trying to figure out the duplicity has the most votes with gravity.

>>31700935
If we were to crank as much juice as possible into a singular gravity point, how much would it fuck up the terrain? Would it make a big ol ball of ruined stuff floating in the air?

>>31700818
scarf

I meant scarf

I typed hat because I'm dumb and I confuzzled hat and clogs into this

>>31700935
Sounds about right.

Keeps them from running. I hate it when they run. They always think they can get away somehow, and they always seem so surprised and upset afterward.

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do what we were going to do to Stella in PPQ April fools day to Rukia and or Orihime


what happens in omakes, stays in omakes....except that couch

>>31701066

I'm kinda curious as to what would happen if we just started powering up a la DBZ. Like get angry and then just powering up gradually until everything get ridiculous.

Or if we don't get satisfactory answers from the twins, we just start charging up a huge death ball of go-juice and see what happens.

Guys. We can go steal the hat guys hat again!
We can have a set of hat twins on our side!
Just gotta wait for the stockholm syndrome to set in...

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You summon your gravity and pull them together. “I demand you explain this… this… twisted depravity!” You shout pointing your finger at the pair of them.

“Stop! That is just his body.” Rukia explains.

“Right, like I will be willing to believe that. Veech vahn off du ist zee Naht-zee? Veech cvahn has ze sing for ze legs?” You demand, not knowing which one to shoot.

“H-hey (big sis) you mind letting us go? I don’t have anything planned you know.” Second orange says as Rukia walks over to you.

“That’s enough, what do you want from-“ She starts to say but stops as you pull her skirt down. The second orange fixes his eyes on her backside with the first orange just makes a troubled face. “What are you doing stop!” She shouts crouching to keep herself hidden somewhat.

“I knew it.” You declare glaring at the second orange. “Nazi.” You say. “Explain this duplicity! Explain your plans! Do you work for Loki? Did he send you here to make sure Fenrir gets the job done right? Answer me damn you!” You command.

“(Sis) Let us go!” Nazi orange demands.

You let up on your gravity and crack yoru knuckles. “You want to run? Okay, go ahead and run. Just remember one thing. I have at least 5 more *’s in speed than any of you and if I get serious I can make the screen go all wobbly and grainy. Plus I can make time quakes which are just nauseating.” You explain and Rukia throws something to not nazi orange.

He uses the item and pushes it against his twin brother’s head causing him to die so hard a green pill pops out of him. The body falls to the ground and not-nazi lets out a sigh of relief. “There, is it okay now? Do you get it?” He asks.

“You just, wow. You just straight up murdered that bloke.” You say blinking. “Like, not even a warning or an I’m sorry you just killed him like he had to get got. That’s cold blooded man.”
(1/2?)

>>31701108
but we're already faster,stronger,smarter,crazier, and better looking than like 99% of the entire cast.

we don't need Stockholm syndrome

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“No he is a-“ He starts but you feel Rukia’s small hand on your shoulder and he suddenly stops.

“Well, it had to be done since we learned about, you know stuff. Nazis are bad?” She offers.

“Nazi’s are bad.” You say turning to the now skirted Rukia. Skirts are weird, why don’t you wear them more often? “Because I don’t like showing my knickers to the world mostly. Well, not like that. If I am going to be an exhibitionist then I want to be honest about it.” You say as Nazi orange walks up behind you oh god!

“He stole his identity after eating him and hiding his remains!” Rukia points out.

You slowly nod. Yeah, that checks out. “Look if you don’t mind we have to get home. Can’t let dinner get cold because, I mean, my family worked hard on it?” Orange says.

“True, and I imagine breaking the news you killed and ate your brother would be sort of hard to deal with.” You note as they turn to go. You turn and decide to now…

“Hey, hold on. Look, er, lady? What you said back there about being, you know, lonely? If you ever want to talk or something I might be able to help?” Rukia offers keeping a safe distance away.

She nods and leaves after saying her peace and you realize you taught them the greatest lesson of all. The lesson of friendship.

Now you…
[] Go find a place to read comics for the rest of the night(Advances the day)
[] Go see what that quincy is doing out so late at night!
[] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.
[] I’m batman.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31701141
But how else would we tame the hat guy's hats?

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>>31701146
>[] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.
>[] I’m batman.


tell the dumb sod its a fucking school night!

>>31701146
No, lets not be batman.
Lets be the doctor, but with violence and inanity. Insanity.

>>31701146
>[] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.

>>31701179
We SPIDERMAN, not batman, duh.

>>31701210
Spiderbatman

>>31701146
>[X] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.

>>31701146
>I'm Batman
>Find the Quincy as Batman
We are vengeance. We are the night.

>>31701230
I can get behind this.

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>>31701129
Wow something horrible happened to my fingers in that post. Sorry about that. While the first just makes a troubled face* your*

>>31701146
>[] Go see what that quincy is doing out so late at night!
>[] I’m batwoman.
>[] I still speak like a gargle rocks through a cheese grater

>>31701146
>[X] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.

>>31701146
>[x] A hollow is hassling a special human. Go stop them like the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.

Oh shit, if we don't do something heroic by midnight, we're going to lose our C-class hero membership!

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Rolled 6

Human hasslin is the way to go it seems.

Viva Risa! I am totally not rolling for which human we bump into.

>>31701333
I hope its Tatsuki.

my favorite character Kubo ignored (besides 12 other characters)

>>31701378
She was 3

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>>31701402
poo

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“There is a human in danger! If I don’t save them then I will lose my hero license!” You explain dramatically. No, that is just a thing which is in that comic you read. You don’t belong to a hero association. “Villain then?” You ask. You do not look like a werewolf to me. “So I am just regular Joe Citizen? That is just awful.”

You are a schizophrenic cat poltergeist who ate part of a great old one and make laser tail warmers which you explode. You are not Joe Citizen. Just do your damn job, funky white girl. “Kay.” You say falling down and, just before you hit the ground, you sonido away towards regular Joe Citizen being hassled. For you are the hero this city deserves, but not the one it needs.

You leap through the city like a violet comet, your wake being marked by- “I swear to Gornabrious Bopfrod if are doing your dramatic thing again I will lose all respect for you and let the person die just to make a point.” You explain angrily.

Fine. You make your way to an abandoned construction site where the soul signature ran. In the building is a chesty girl with orange hair and some really stupid looking eyebrows. “Yeah, fuck that girls eyebrows!” You agree. “All long and thin and expressive. No wonder the hollow wants to fuck her up.”

You land in the construction site as the hollow leaps through a wall! It is a massive ape hollow with a curling warthog mask and his ass hanging right out there in the open. “Kurosaki-sun!” She shouts praying. Yeah, if you are waiting for her to do something else she probably isn’t. I checked her move list and it consists of ‘Say Kurosaki-kun!(active) Jiggle(Passive) and Just Sort of Lay There and Die(Active).’ “That is somewhat distasteful.” You say stepping out of the shadows in front of the busty girl.
(1/3)

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“Alright then, you simpering bastard. Bugger off home. I’m sort of doing a super hero thing today and I can’t have you-“ You start but stop when the beast’s mask splits open and he tries to bite you in half.

“Kyaa! Run away I will-“ Busty says but stops she sees you not getting eaten.

“Did you just bite me on the tit you simpering idiot?” You ask. His bottom molars do seem to be about there, yeah. “Stop that right this instant, you are looking silly. Stop, I said stop!” You command but it doesn’t listen as it tries to bite you more. “Monologue, it isn’t listening.” Yeah, they do that sometimes.

You grab the ape’s shoulder and then kick his ankle sending him to the ground. He lets out an ook of surprise but it doesn’t last long because remember all those stars in speed? Yeah, you sit on his chest and wide up your fist. “Get fucked.” You command slamming your fist down.

You make sure to regulate your strength just enough to not instant break him. Your fists rain down as hammers while ghost blood flies onto your face. He regenerates slowly, and in a last ditch attempt at escaping tries to open a garganta. You point where reality is getting warped and snap your fingers, scattering the energy. “Nope.” You say slamming your fists down over and over until there is just a dark stocky hole in the ground where his head used to be.

“I swear, the bloody nerve of some people. Right, where was I?” You ask shaking your head and blinking. “Oh that’s right!” You clear your throat. “Are you well citizen? I got here as fast as I could! The winds worked against me but I flew to the rescue of you because I am, uh,” The laughing genocide? “That is not a very good super heroine name.” You note.
(2/3)

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“Oh! Yes, thank you.” The girl says. “Thank you so much, really, I was just going shopping for dinner and- are you okay? It bit you, and all that blood.” She frowns deeply.

“What? Oh. Oh! No, don’t worry none of it is mine and I have particularly thick skin. Now then young lady I-“

[] Must protest you going out so late! Are you a prostitute? You can tell me, I’m not a cop. I would have to tell you if I were a cop.
[] Have to wonder. You mind feeding me or putting me up for the night until the time skip to tomorrow and I do something awesome and distressing to the people in your class?
[] Am going to lecture you on not being useless!
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)

>>31701675
>[x] Have to wonder. You mind feeding me or putting me up for the night until the time skip to tomorrow and I do something awesome and distressing to the people in your class?

You see, I'm between jobs right now and being heroic isn't a lucrative position.

Then when she makes a meal for us, we secretly inject a sizeable amount of crazy juice into her cooking.

>>31701675

>[x] Am going to lecture you on not being useless!

this speech is a long time coming...


>[x] Have to wonder. You mind feeding me or putting me up for the night until the time skip to tomorrow and I do something awesome and distressing to the people in your class?

BUT WE CAN TOTALLY TEACH YOU TO NOT SUCK!!! in exchange for room and board

>elephst Felony

lies and slander captcha

>>31701675
>[X] Must protest you going out so late! Are you a prostitute? You can tell me, I’m not a cop. I would have to tell you if I were a cop.

>>31701675
[X] Am going to lecture you on not being useless!

We are a teacher, we must teach!

>>31701675
>[X] Have to wonder. You mind feeding me or putting me up for the night until the time skip to tomorrow and I do something awesome and distressing to the people in your class?

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Not meeting best canon scrub got me thinking about our best scrub and how she's got zilch for fan art.


this shitty ms paint job is for you best scrub! ...sorry.

don't even care about SPXP or not.

we need to represent the scrubs more!


too bad I can't draw for shit

>>31701675
>[] Have to wonder. You mind feeding me or putting me up for the night until the time skip to tomorrow and I do something awesome and distressing to the people in your class?
>[] Am going to lecture you on not being useless!

We can lecture and mooch at the same time!

>>31701675
>That thing what where you let us sleep in your house because TIMESKIP

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“Here is the thing. I am a bit between jobs right now-“ You may have burned your last job to the ground. “So how about you give me a place to stay for a bit?” You ask.

“Eh?” She blinks.

“Yes, that is a fantastic idea. You give me a place to stay and in exchange I will teach you ot to not suck. I mean, you almost got done in by Grodd. No one gets done in by Grodd! In the old days at hollow academy during dodge ball he got picked after the cripple hollows. Seriously, even that weird Asian hollow who kept breathing heavily while making weird faces was better.” I think he actually had a condition.

“So, my lovely thing, what do you say? You put me up for a little bit and I make sure you get the raw stench of suck off of you. You don’t want that, er, Luro guy getting mad or hurt because of you right?” It is Kuro gy. One letter over on the keyboard. “qwerty keys are bullshit anyway. Do we have a deal?’ You ask.

“Yes. I mean, it’s the least I can do. It will be nice, my house has been lonely since I live alone. I don’t know how much better I can get, but it would be nice having someone around.” She says with a smile like a sunflower.

Sunflowers are super dangerous.

Okay, I think I am going to put a pause to the omake for now. I may resume it soon, or tomorrow if I get up at a reasonable time. Writing the summary posts really took a lot more out of me than I thought. Still around for questions concerns and/or comments while I wait for the sleepy to come.

Fun fact: I was originally going to doodle some of the recap. I got as far as a sketch before I gave up and drank wine.

>>31702043
how are the rest of the scrubs going taking us nomming Ryouichi, assuming they know.

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>>31702061
Not as bad as you might thing. Ryoko super trusts you. Kouta will be a bit harder on you and friendhelm thinks you are just awful for everything you do because he is a dick that way.

>>31702108
Think* come on azure.

>>31702123
who else was the random event roll?

>>31702162
Chad, Best girl, Orty, Keigo, both the little kuros.

>>31702210
George, Paul, John, or Ringo?

thanks for running AE

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>>31702251
Paul I suppose
>>31702341
Thanks for playing.

I am feeling a bit tired so I am off here. Night.

>>31702362
g'night

>>31702362
When you wake we shall give the Hime the gift of not sucking and getting the attention of that miscreant she likes, perhaps by teaching her how to suck.

No, that's terrible. Maybe give her the teensiest bit of our poison to start.

>>31703989
>Give poison to Orihime
>She leaves for school
>Comes back with unconcious Ichigo
>"You're all mine, Kurosaki-kun"

>>31704475
All QMs who get their hands on the Hime, make her a far better character.

Yandere-hime a cute.

The idea of making hime crazy is a bit scary, and a little hot.

Time for the funnel. We always default to being aggressive feeders, after all.

>>31708007
but Orihime is a human, we know feeding them hollows doesn't do anything. What if instead, we fed her sand from Hueco? Then we could use the funnel, and its imbued with spiritual energy...so maybe that'll do something when we mix it with our maddening go juice.

FOR SCIENCE!

>>31708439
I say we just feed her a bit of our madness. Yandere Orihime best Orihime.

Also, food for thought. If this is pre-couch, Baraggan probably rules Hueco and is terribly bored. We can go and wreck his shit for giggles. Wonder if we would get anything from eating him.

>>31708479
fair point. Next time we kills some angels, we should just use our horriffic insides to blender one's remains so we can tube feed it to our Wolfu.

Or at least split Fenrir with her, we can go in and nom the God Killer power and then use the rest to Square our Dakka Wolf.

...though what if eating the rest of Fenrir just makes Jager hungry again in ten minutes...and then eternally hungry like the wolf that is supposed to swallow Odin?

>>31708479
but unlike the last time we did that in the hope of protegeing someone, we give her madness and guidance. Take her under our wing for the night while the teeny bit of poison works its way into her system and makes sure it doesn't go to her chest like everything else she eats.

Then, we aid her in her quest to win the attention of her love.

Though Poison should be applied after we learn what a push over she is. Madness is confidence building by gosh and by golly, and the short boost of a little exposure could mean the world of difference for the girl.

I mean, do we want her to switch from the girl who was excited that all the other girls might fall of her beloved to the one who'll axe murder her entire gender in class for daring to utter his name?

...actually, Yandere-Hime just got scarier...because she's early days Orihime...before confidence issues arose.

So, this'll get weird and glorious.

>>31708479
Wait, would Orihime Logic (TM) make perfect sense to Risa?

>>31708589
Risa logic doesn't even make sense to Risa.

>>31708576
>unlike the last time we did that in the hope of protegeing someone, we give her madness and guidance.

I like this plan. Just a tiny tiny bit of madness. We don't need to comeback and find her mutated into rape sloth or anything.

>>31708576
>I mean, do we want her to switch from the girl who was excited that all the other girls might fall of her beloved to the one who'll axe murder her entire gender in class for daring to utter his name?
Yes. Oh my, the story would take some wondrous turns with a character like that. With the way we're popping in an out of canon at different points in time, it could make for an entertaining slide show. Probably ending with strawberry chained to a dungeon wall and the entire female cast gutted. We could visit the wedding, even. I'm sure Risa has a priest in there somewhere, which basically gives her the right to marry people.

>>31708589
They would surely agree about various foodstuffs.

>>31708696
I was hoping our crazy could give her confidence, not make her a monster.

Why would something we use to reduce people to gibbering masses of flesh only give confidence?

>>31709338

Thanks anon, now I'm imagining Orihime hallucinating her breasts getting faces and gibbering at her.

heh, masses.

I hate my terrible imagination.

>>31708479
This universe's Harribel could be our temporary wolfu stand-in.

Though what would that make her? Sharku? Sharkfu? A sharku who does shark-fu?

>>31701146
>You realize you taught them the greatest lesson of all. The lesson of friendship.

This is the true secret of Hollow Quest.
The more friends we make, the more people that we know who get caught in the crossfire, the more we'll go into blind homicidal rages, the more Scarborough Fair.

Search your heart, you know it to be true.

>>31709441
Risa seems to be the most stable when around others. Orihime might be similar.

>the voices stop only when I'm with you, Kurosaki-kun!

>>31708696
Risa probably counts as divine enough to marry them herself.

>>31709338
It made Sid the squid pretty confident. He just up and became a man of mystery after he got poisoned.

>>31709547
This man has a point. Sid didn't give a fuck who was around or whose rest he was interrupting when he started his incoherent screams. The alpha male of the quest before we got THE GREAT ME.

>>31709524
>the voices stop only when I'm with you
I should get that on a card.

>>31709272
I gotta agree with this, contrary to popular opinion I actually like cannon orihime. if she just had a little more ambition and confidence she would have asked Ichigo out long ago. Risa can probably help a little bit with the confidence thing but I don't want to turn her into another psychopath or god forbid a tsunundre or something.

So what ever happened to the nofunigami who had his girlfriend's souly bits ripped out in front of his eyes? After the last time we saw him he has pretty much disappeared from our attention

I remember we were going to set him up with Ryouichi because he was a fag and we were still planning various things to make his life hell in small ways before we thankfully decided just to eat the fucker and get it over and done with

>>31710624
we voted him off the island and he was busy being sad and sad accessories

>>31709941
The problem with canon Orihime is she literally got her character development thrown under a bus along with everyone else they introduced pre soul society

Kubo has mentioned he wanted for their characters to grow in very different ways but with how the story ended up most of that shit just got canned and we got the characters we know and despise now

Writing update now

>>31710673
Then obviously if we eat Soul Society, development would go better

>>31710999
u wot. we playing now?

Yeah, I didn't need that sleep.

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If we're not going to kill them/drive them crazy.

then I think we should incredibly lewd/suggestive

at least some kind of bad influence

>>31711169
Oh, we need to find us some Isane.

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You are Risa Schrodinger and- “Wait, don’t you normally do these at the start of the thread?” Do I have to hurt you again? I can hurt you again Risa. “Fine.” You grumble as you follow girl orange down the street, her happily talking about his and that. Right, last time we had a recap of the events thus far in a vain attempt to get more people. It went on far longer than the QM planned and we used up a lot of pictures so don’t get mad if it, like, doesn’t always have relevant images. Then we taught a boy and girl about the magic of friendship and aardvarks and they swore to take their studies super seriously. Then we rescued this busty slag from a hollow. “Grodd.” You explain. Right, fookin Grodd. She lost to grodd, how does anyone do that?

As a result of your saving her she agreed to put you up for the night before the eventual tomorrow time skip but you are going to use tonight to do the standard giggling girl sleep over affair. Hopefully she will- “Real quick? I may not remember much about being alive, but I am fairly certain sleep overs are not code for werewolves.” For those of you new to the show, werewolves are lesbians and lesbians are werewolves. “It is a whole thing.”

You follow girl orange to her house, well apartment, and she gives a wide smile. “Welcome! Ah, it’s just me in here so you can relax. Why not take a bath first and I will get dinner started?” She offers. Clever ruse!

“No, why don’t I help you cook dinner! I mean I would feel bad if after you put me up for the night I didn’t do anything to help.” You explain, trying to get at her food.

“There is really no need. You already helped me out before and, well.” She points at your hands and shirt covered in gorilla.

“Well played madam.” You note and go into her bathroom.
(1/3?)

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You use her strange smelling soaps and conditioners on yourself and decide that no, bathing without Lord Quackington(Your rubber duck confiscated by Jager due to your constant duck related shenanigans) is not better. You grumble as you sit in the steaming hot water and wonder how to infect her with your insanity for her own good which, again, doesn’t work like that. “Wait what?” You ask, looking up at the florescent light. Your insanity poison is just a trait of your go juice. Like, if your soul energy has certain traits to it, ice for example, when you are not paying attention you will just freeze stuff around you slowly. Your soul trait is insanity, but your cloaking generally keeps it all super hidden even if you don’t focus on it. “What about being ultra lewd and suggestive? Is that a thing I can do? I do that pretty well.” You explain.

I don’t think she is werewolves, but if you want to go for it then I won’t stop you. Make sure you have an outfit that emphasizes the butt. “Miss? I left some clothes out here for you.” The girl explains.

“Thanks. So the plan is we make her more awesome so that she can achieve success, happiness, and the man of her dreams. Sort of like a Disney movie.” Jager got rid of our Disney movies. “What? Why?” You demand as you get out of the tub. Because we showed them to Sin-Fin remember? “So?” You ask. Okay, well, remember how when the Disney princesses sang the birds and animals would come and help them out with cleaning or baking. “Very unhygienic, but yes I have some vague recollection of those events.” You way as you start toweling off.
(2/3?)

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Well Sin-Fin really likes those songs. She also seems to be a Disney princess because animals will come to help her change her clothes or play games with her, really depends on the song. She also has a localized suicide field which fluctuates with her emotions and she is anything but emotionally stable. “Ah. That does explain why the forest around my shrine was so quiet lately.” You note opening the door. Yeah.

You change into the pajamas left for you, floral print too loose in the chest and too short on the arms and legs, then open the door, your terribly long violet hair still a bit damp. You tried running electricity though it but it did not help much. “A bit short huh? I got one with the longest arms and legs but I guess it didn’t work, huh?” She smiles apologetically.

Dinner, it seems, is tuna stir-fried in Tabasco over octopus tentacles and tofu rice.

“Oh, you know it just occurred to me I didn’t ask you name. Sorry, I can be such an airhead. I am (Orihime) but you can just call me Orihime.” She explains, your brain translator simplifying life so much.

“I am Schrodinger. Risa Schrodinger. Just call me Risa. No offense but whenever people in this country try to pronounce my last name it sounds like a venereal disease.” You explain.

So, what shall we make talking about over dinner?
[] So, who is Kurosaki?
[] Steer the conversation towards werewolves
[] Ask about family
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)

>>31711707
>WHO IS ORANGE

>>31711707
>[] So, who is Kurosaki?
Who was she calling for help?

>>31711707

>[X] So, who is Kurosaki?

I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

>>31711707
[X] So, who is Kurosaki?

>>31711707
>So, who is Kurosaki?

>Pop! goes the Risa
Azure pls. Risa makes others go 'pop'. Well, that or 'splurkt'.

>>31711654
>Your soul trait is insanity
I thought it was also zapping things with electricity.

>>31711707
>Sin-Fin is a Disney princess
>She accidentally genocided her woodland helpers
Being Sin-Fin is suffering...

[x] Ask about family
Risa! The voice in your head known as Meta Knowledge is telling you that her brother became a hollow. And then Orange killed him.

I wonder why our internal translator keeps turning "Ichigo" into "Strawberry" when it also translates to "#1" or "number one".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lsn2tT5yTc

>>31711707
>[x] Ask about family

"Dead family or you doing that thing were they ship you to a different high school in a different town so they can rent out your room and have sex all day with you gone?"

>>31711822
Because Monologue is the one doing the translating and she straight-up refuses to translate some things right because they're silly.

>>31711858

It makes labeling the scrubs a lot easier, though.

"Oh, look, it's scrub number one."

>>31711822
Ichigo means strawberry. It's a dumb name.

>>31711903

We need to think of a better name for him.

Something like one of those Orwellian American names... like Biff. Or Calvin.

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Majority wants kurosaki asking? It shall be so!
>>31711806
It's probably a butt thing

Since I'm finally in a thread, I want my desire to see more stuff from the eyes of #42 to be known. Especially about how we looked as a god rock to the scrubs and how hollows can share the area with the nofunigami

I bet there's all sorts of rivalries and interesting things going on under our noses that we never notice because, well, little people.

>>31711995
Friend anon, I agree. We need more omakes of those neglected members of our merry band.

More little gillian that couldn't when?

What happened to Lupinor?

>>31712160
She's still Jager's minion.

>>31712160

If I had to guess, I'd that she's been interacting extensively with the other Soul Society refugees (along with the other Hollow scrubs) and trying to build a stable environment at the Temple. Like building unlikely friendships, forging alliances, policing wild Hollows, and slowly yet surely working towards peaceful co-existence with their greatest enemies.

But I guess most of that flies under the radar for Risa since she's playing in the divine league now.

>>31712160
Probably handling the matters of hollow & nofunigami diplomacy when Jager or Captains can't be bothered. The little, interesting things I'd love to read about.

>>31711707
>[] So, who is Kurosaki?
and so the game begins

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“So, who is this Kurosaki-kun?” You ask biting into your tentacles. Hm, fetishy.

She tries to let out a yelp of shock mid chew, who does that? But instead just ends up choking. She starts pounding on her chest and twisted to try to dislodge the errant food and, for the briefest moment, you consider just letting it happen. Natures has spoken and it demands blood. You then realize that choking to death doesn’t make much blood other than the burst blood vessels and smack her on the back. You apparently eventually dislodge the errant foodstuff and she manages to swallow, heh heh.

“Wh-where did you hear that name from?” She asks.

“You move set-“ You heard her say it. “I heard you say it. When Grodd was chasing you around and seriously. Like, level one encounter with a CR of ¼. It is bloody Grodd.” You explain.

“He, well, he is a boy at my school. He is always so strong and brave and last time I was attacked he, well, helped save me.” She explains blushing a little. “I know I can never be by his side, but I want to be his strength. Well, even though I say that I still end up trying to rely on him when I am in danger.” She smiles sadly.

“So you had a boy save you from hollows and- wait. Was it on a school night?” You ask narrowing your gaze.

“Yes, I think so why?” She wonders.

“This Kurosaki bloke, he got orange hair, black robes, and seems to be really, really close with a girl with no real secondary sexual characteristics?” You ask frowning.
(1/2)

>>31712056
>>31712160
>>31712214
>>31712219
>>31712243
There are some omakes involving her that some anon wrote, not sure what happened to them though.

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“No secondary? Oh, you mean Kuchiki?” We know that name. Why do we know that name? “Yes, his full name is (Strawberry Kurosaki). You know him?” She asks looking curious. “A-Ahaha. Of course, I mean, if you can fight those monsters then it means you probably work with him right?” She asks.

“He snuck out of his room and went into a lasses room on a school night.” You growl unhappy. “I may need to do a parent teacher conference.” You nod.

“I could never be strong like you since I keep needing him to save me but-“ Ori starts getting the sad sallies. What do we do about this?

[] Inspire confidence
[] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice
[] Let her ramble, no skin off your nose.
[] Make her change targets.
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>31712329
>[x] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice
Yanderehime is a go.

>>31712329
>Inspire confidence
Clearly the way to get stronger is to eat something strong. That's how it works right?

>>31712329
>[x] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice
This is why I'm here. She's a lost cause with words only, soo... Time to make her into best girl.

>>31712329
>[X] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice

>>31711995
I was thinking of doing something like, "from the eyes of the common hollow" from the rebellion, to the jager rule, to the flamesnake, to the nofunigami+ etc. I just never know how to start it but since I should have time during the summer I may do a lot more of the omakes I had on back burners.

>>31712329
>[] Inspire confidence

>>31712329
>[x] Inspire confidence

"suck is a state of mind, Oralhime"

>>31712329
>[x] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice

Just a bit. We can always add more later if her inherent timidness and submissiveness overrides any impulses from the go-juice.

>>31712329
>[] Inspire confidence
Everyone starts out weak.

>>31712329
Inspire CONFIDENSE! With the teensiest bit of Go Juice to help. Then teach her the art of getting a boy to notice or like you, but the importance of making him work hard to get into her knickers if she even wants to let him get that far.

>>31712398
Except plant bro.

>>31712329
>[X] Inspire confidence (With some help from Mr. Go-juice
Like there was ever any doubt, Orihime must learn to enjoy everything in life... And then we have a convoluted plan to summon so many menos grande that the captains come down to get their asses whoped, while we tell them that no they cant shinigami powers to students, because students with shinigami powers allways go truant.

>>31712373
Yes, this is exactly the sort of stuff that I'd love to read!

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Seems a pretty good split.

Why not both with just a little help from magical insanity?

Writing now.

We have yet to ask the most important question.
What does a second soul king taste like?

>>31712474
chocolate

>>31712474
If he has any hats or couches worth stealing, we can sate our curiosity while also being productive.

I'd suggest we try to eat this reality's squad Zero, but the Queen of Grain would just go straight to Risa's thighs.

>>31712518
Fashion him into a couch

>>31712474
Plot Rock 2:Electric Boogaloo

We just need to eat rukia. Or would we need to get orihime to revert it as well?

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We must find out what this scarf is made from!

>>31712548
>orgasmic chair
>couch from this Soul King that probably screams bloody murder at us or something
>Fenrir's skin as a rug/blanket over the bed

We need a bed.

>>31712577
I bet we could use a fatebreaker or 3 on the hogyouku to make it even better.

>>31712595
The hat is already ours.
The couch is a foregone conclusion.
The scarf is the last of the items.

What wonders shall be unlocked upon brining them all together?

>>31712627
>The scarf is the last of the items.
The world must never know.
That is why we must go get that couch and the scarf after inducing some "confidence" in Orihime.

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>>31712627
the ark of the covenant

How about we acquire kenpachi's eyepatch? Or one of his assorted bells?

No more limiters for you!

>>31712819
If we wore the eyepatch, we'd be feeding the thing our insanity. Would make for a good party where we throw the eyepatch and it tries to eat someone.

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You kick her in the bum. She falls forward and looks up confused at you, but you put your foot on the small table and point your finger at her, posing dramatically. “Nothing will change unless you change it yourself! You think acting timid is the key to being his damsel in distress but don’t want to be? Then don’t! You think the boy has a fine bum then you tell him his bum is fine and give it an appreciative smack!” You command and she looks confused.

“His bum? You mean his, er, but I don’t want him to think I-“ She starts and you give her a chop to the noggin.

“You have desires? That you want things? How is he supposed to know you want him unless you act like it! Boys are stupid!” You explain shoving your finger in their face. “Especially boys in the midst of puberty. Just standing around isn’t enough to get him to notice you, and it will just make you depend on him more! Then, when you are captured by a gender flipped Sin-Fin you will be forced to watch has he does his shit alone and comes back to a woman who can kick ass. Is that what you want? Do you want to just stand around and be kidnapped all the time?” You ask, your eyes sinking a little like a meth head.

“N-No I mean. If I bother him or mess up then-“ She mumbles and you make a sound which is probably in derision.

“Foolish girl! Anyone who has been afraid to make mistakes never gets anywhere! Don’t be afraid to look stupid, more so with those breasts!” You snarl grabbing them. “Why do these vex me so? You have them and you should use them, if that doesn’t work then the bum!” You nod butts always being useful. “He is a healthy young man with urges and-“ What if he is ryouichi? You pause as you think that over. You let her go and slump back to your side of the table. “What if he is Ryouichi?” You make a humming noise as you think it over. “Then mind breaking rape I guess is your only option.” You agree.
(1/3?)

>>31712990
Wait, if we fed the thing our madness, would that make Risa... sane?

Don't think I could handle that.

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“I don’t, I mean I would like Kurosaki to like me for me. But, you are right!” She shouts standing up.

You are? “I am?” You ask.

“I can’t just sit around waiting for Kurosaki to fall for me! Love is a battlefield! How, er, how do I go about making a boy like me though?” She asks and sits down crossing her arms.

“Leave that to me!” You shout pointing at yourself with your thumb. “When I was a lass I managed to get all the boy’s attentions, girls too.” And probably anything with a pulse, bloody slag. “Oh come on, Sin-Fin spawned all of humanity from her loins and you aren’t giving her shit about it.” Well, she has a fantastic butt.

You spend the night instructing orihime on the secrets of using her female charms and powers to get the boy, but it is a school night. She goes to sleep and you sit in the corner of her room looking vexed. “I dunno monologue. I mean, I told the girl how to do it all but she doesn’t have any drive for it.” You say. “The power comes from within, or something.” Well, some of us are saying you should infect her with a bit of insanity. “Wait, what?”

Oh yeah, just a bit. I mean, think about it. Insanity is life, it is the drive and desire and the passion which puts men on the moon. Who in their right mind would willingly strap themselves into a rocket ship and go several times the speed of sound to a rock with no life or safety on it. Insanity, my dear, is the origin of all human achievement. You agree that is a good point and extend your will. You push your energy into the sleeping Orihime’s mind, small tendrils of mentally invading sickness fills her while the sweet, cloying scent of sticky corruption fills the room. You see her twist and turn a little in her sleep as you finish and you get a big Risa smile.
(2/3?)