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>>31761947
>>=[| THE MASTERMIND |]=<<
> You are the brains of the operation, smart, charismatic, resourceful, everything needed to pull off a grand heist. You can do just about anything the other crewmembers can pull off, but you aren’t specialized in anything in particular.

“Get this done.”

“You’re really having me do something this low level? I happen to be a genius, Sweetie!” You’re frustrated. Your intelligence is being wasted on something this simple. A low ranking gangbanging hood could do this, a child could do this with a squirt gun if he meant to. But no, your old pal Sweetie won’t let you in on the bigger scores just because you’re “untested” and “unreliable” and “Uneverything.” Bitch.

“If you want to bust bigger jobs and bigger scores, you’re going to have to prove that you can actually do something this simple. I don’t want to take any chances,” says Sweetie to you. “If you do it, maybe I’ll let you in on some bigger scores. But for now, it’s all you here. I’ve provided you some spare equipment, I’ll have someone deliver it to you once you put out your safehouse.”

“Fine, Sweetie,” you say. “But this is a waste of my talent!”

“You’re implying you have any talent. Now do this, or it’s the ghetto for you. Your choice.”

With that, Sweetie hangs up on you. The bitch. You sigh, quickly taking tally on what you have so far. You know a good crew actually, but for this kind of job? How could they fuck up something this simple?

First thing’s first. What should you do?

> Head to the Safehouse. The Hacker should welcome you in with open arms.
> Go gather up the rest of the crew. Who should you pick up first?
>> Gunman
>> Jack
>> Wildcard
>> Hacker
>> Driver
> Write in

>>31761958
>> Pick up the Driver first

>>31761958
> Head to the Safehouse. The Hacker should welcome you in with open arms.
It's best to recruit from a base of operations. Get there first.

>>31761958
> Head to the Safehouse. The Hacker should welcome you in with open arms.
We can get them started on their hacking stuff then go pick up the rest of the crew.

>>31761958
>> Wildcard
Well...why not?

>>31762024
> Go gather up the rest of the crew.
>> Driver

A good crew ain't nothing without a getaway driver behind the wheel.

Voting period is over.

This heist is gonna be the best ever.

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>> Pick up the Driver
>> Head to the Safehouse

You dial up your wheelman’s number. “D? You there?”

“Hey, M! What’s up?”

“I need a driver.”

“You’re not going to-“

“No, it’s not going to end up like last time. Too many people died last time. Listen, just pick me up, I’m at South Los Santos outside of a barbershop. Got that?”

“Sure, sure, be there in two shakes.”

You sit down on a bench for a bit, waiting and waiting. God, this score is going to be awkward to explain. After a few minutes, a beat up red SUV drives up on the curb in front of you. The window lowers down, revealing the driver.

>>=[| THE DRIVER |]=<<
> If you need something moved, driven, or transported, the Driver is your girl. She can work anything with a gear shift, wheels, or even anything that breathes. She ain’t too good with actual fighting, but cars do make good battering rams.

“Hop in,” she says, smirking. “You look like shit, M. You catch the tail end of rush hour DC Traffic or something?”

You hop in shotgun. “Shut up and drive us to Vinewood.”

[1/2]

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>>31762496
[2/2]

The car sputters to life as the Driver takes you down to Vinewood. You direct her down the huge mansions and lots, then up to a particularly fancy house. Your safehouse to be precise.

You and the Driver walk out and knock on the door. “H, it’s me. You in there?”

The door opens up, revealing a nice old middle aged woman. “Oh, M, D! It’s nice to see you again! Can I get you girls some lemonade or perhaps some cookies?”

“Thanks, H’s Mom, but we’re here to see H actually,” you say quickly. H’s Mom is nicer than a field of daisies but you’re on the clock.

“Sure!” she says. “She’s in her room. Go right ahead!”

With that, you and D walk up the stairs of the luxurious little home then knock on H’s door. “H, it’s us. You in there?”

The door opens up, H looks horrible in that oversized sweater and that messy hair. “The fuck guys? It’s 11 in the morning!”

>>=[| THE HACKER |]=<<
> If you need something cracked, whether it be networks, alarms, safes, or other items, the hacker is your girl. She can’t drive, she can’t fight, she can’t even talk to a boy without becoming a stuttering wreck, but damn can she work a keyboard.

You and D walk inside her messy room filled with laptops, computer towers, and other electronics. “I’m here to set up a score.”

“Again?” says H.

“Yes, again,” you say.

What now?

> Plan the Heist
> Call up the rest of the Crew
> Organize the Equipment
> Talk to Someone (Specify)
> Write in

>>31762529
>Organize the Equipment.
Can't plan when we don't know what we can work with.

>>31762529
This doesn't seem like the safest safehouse...
> Call up the rest of the Crew
We probably need their input (or at least make sure they don't have any) for the plan anyway.

>>31762529
> Call up the rest of the Crew
Can't pull a heist without everyone there, can we?
Call them fools and get 'em over to H's place stat.

>>31762529
>>> Call up the rest of the Crew

>>31762529
> Call up the rest of the Crew
While waiting:
> Talk to Someone (H)
Suggest she try a regular sleeping schedule to actually be awake when needed.

>>31762529
> Call up the rest of the Crew

>>31762529
>> Call up the rest of the Crew
We're going to need everyone before we know what to do and how to do it.

>>31762529
> Organize the Equipment
I don't want Wildcard in the safehouse until absolutely necessary.

>>31762529
>Organize the Equipment

Voting period is over.

>> Call up the rest of the crew

>>31762529

>writein

Let's pick up the muscle. You know? That one gal with the arms like pythons. You heard her boyfriend dumped her last week, and she must be eager to blow off some steam.

I sure hope the mastermind is fucking all these bitches.

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>>31762024
eehehehe

This is the correct answer. You have to drive to the others, so you need the driver first

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> Call up the rest of the Crew

You decide to call up the rest of the crew as H gets her notes together. It’s going to be a difficult time explaining to them what exactly you’re going to be robbing. “Hey, W. You there?”

“Yep! Something you need?”

“Yeah, I need you for a score. Would you mind coming over to H’s place.”

The closet bursts open, revealing your trusty messy Wildcard. “What’s up, bitches! I’m already here!”

H looks at her, terrified and disgusted. “H-Have you been there-“

“Yes,” says Wildcard. “Strange porn you watch, Hacker. I would’ve expected something a little more vanilla from you but I suppose it’s not surprising considering how sexually repressed you are.” She jumps out, tackling H onto the bed. “IT’S TIME TO FIX THAT!”

H yells, “Ah! Get off me!” W laughs as she tries to tear H’s sweater off. “No, no!”

>>=[| THE WILDCARD |]=<<
> If you need something acquired, the Wildcard can get it at a 50/50 chance of getting arrested in doing so. If you need a distraction, the Wildcard can do it but may end up blowing up a school in order to do it. If you need cops blown up, she might blow you all up in the process. The Wildcard is great for general destruction and requisition of specialist materials.

[1/2]

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>>31763000
[2/2]

D pulls W off. “That’s enough you.” W scrambles at H, who crawls away and hides behind a pillow. D says, “We gotta get J and G over here too.”

“Right,” says W. “Figures.”

There’s some downtime as you wait for the Jack and the Gunman to show up. They’re as reliable as the Driver and the Hacker at least, and can more or less keep their hands to themselves.

The Jack arrives first. “Hey people. I hear there’s a score going on?”

>>=[| THE JACK |]=<<
> She doesn’t specialize in much of anything. She’s good at a lot of things you need her to do, but she’s not as good as the specialists either. She’s at her best supporting others. If you need a role filled that a specialist can’t do themselves, the Jack is your girl.

You nod. “Sit down over there. I’ll explain everything when Gun gets here.”

W crosses her arms, spinning around in one of H’s chairs. “I’m bored. What are we robbing?”

“Yeah,” says D. “What’s the score, a bank or something?”

> Truth
> Change the Subject
> Lie
> Write in

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>>31763000

>>31763027
> Truth
"We're robbing a red lobster."

>>31763027
> Change the Subject

>>31763027
> Change the Subject
When G arrives.

>>31763000
Is W best girl? Your trusted journalist will start investigation immediately.

>>31763027
>>> Change the Subject

>>31763027
> Truth
Attempt to mix in some innuendo, because there's just not enough sexual harassment going on right now.

>>31763027
Get straight to the truuuuuth

>>31763027
> Change the Subject
Lovely weather for a heist, hahaha...

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>>31763086

>>31763146
This

Is M M?

>>31763086
I wish this could be a reference to Shadowrun Storytime. "Ladies, we're going to start fixing the status quo. To do that, we're going to start small."
"Today, we rob...Cheesecake Factory!"

>>31763086
Wildcard is ecstatic; but all she cares about is stealing as many of those little garlic biscuits as possible.

>>31763299
W has her priorities straight. As expected of W!

Voting period is over.

> Truth

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> Truth

You sigh, leaning on the wall and crossing your arms. “The truth of the matter ladies is that I am being hired to do a small time job.”

J asks, “How small time? Diamond job?”

“Smaller.”

H says, “ATMs.”

“Smaller.”

D says, “… Red Lobster?”

You snap your fingers then pull up the location on your smartphone. “It’s a 24/7 convenience store here on the corner of Innocence and Elgin.” You shrug as your assembled crew looks at you like just punched a baby. “Yeah.”

“Cool!” yells W. “So, what do I get to blow up!?”

The door shatters into a million pieces, sending wooden shrapnel and bits of door frame everywhere. Standing on the otherside with a shotgun is your trusty Gunman. “Did someone say BLOW UP!?”

>>=[| THE GUNMAN |]=<<
> Whether it be a knife, a laser gun, a pipe bomb, or anything that can potentially be used as a weapon, the Gunman has probably used it and mastered it. The Gunman is great at intimidating others and being a general heavy in case the heat gets too rough.

You say, “Nice of you to join us, G, sit down.”

With that, your crew’s assembled. What should you start with?

> Planning
> Equipment
> Codenames
> Write in

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>>31763278

>>31763478
> Planning

>>31763278
M is a total S. H is an M. Sometimes D is an S but when she's with W or M she's an M. W is always an S but sometimes she pretends to be an M to fool people, and sometimes the act is even good enough to fool herself. G is M but has S tendencies with H.

J is a switch, naturally.

Hope this helps!

>>31763478
>Planning

>>31763478
> Equipment

>>31763478
>Planning

>>31763478
> Assuring them that this is totally worth going through with and no wait don't leave it'll be good I swear

>>31763478
>planning

>>31763478
> Equipment
We should know what we have available before we make plans.

Poor H, is her mom just used to this sort of thing by now, or can we expect a reproachful look when the inevitable cookies and lemonade arrive?

Voting period is over.

> Planning.

> Planning

You bring up the location to your compatriots. “This is the joint. It’s a 24/7 convenience store on the corner of Innocence and Elgin. Our job is to rob it blind. We’re looking at anywhere between 1200 and 1800 Dollars.”

“Wow,” says J simply. “So much dosh.”

“Quiet you,” you say. “Anyway. Here’s what I’m thinking. We go in, we get the money, we get out. It’s so fucking simple! A child could do it.”

H says, “Do I have to go?”

“Yes,” you say. “Now, does anyone have any better suggestions.” W raises her hand. “Besides W.”

“Why can’t I come up with a plan?” says W. “I’m practically third in this crew.”

“No, you’re sixth because you can’t keep it in your pants.” Your phone pings. You check it. The equipment has arrived huh? Alright then.

> WEAPONS
> 10x Pattern 1853 Enfield Rifle-Musket with 100 Rounds of ammunition
> 2x LeMat Revolver with 72 Rounds of ammunition
> 2x Model 1860 Light Cavalry Sabre
> Napoleon 12-Pounder with five rounds of ammunition
> Remington Model 870 Shotgun with 8 rounds of ammuntion

> VEHICLES
> 2x Horse, male.
> 1994 Ford Explorer

> EQUIPMENT
> H’s Laptop full of porn
> 10x Confederate States of America uniforms

You all review the equipment out in H’s Driveway, dumbfounded. H asks, “Is the South rising again?” she asks.

You sigh.

> PLANNING PHASE
> Twenty minutes to plan for a write in.

> Or choose the Default which involve using the Ford Explorer as a getaway car, with Gun and Jack running in, grabbing the money, and running out. All of you will be in the back of the Ford Explorer.

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>>31764000
Forgot the picture.

>>31764000
Blow everything up with the 12 pound cannon....

Did we raid a 19th century armory

>>31764000
>default

>>31764000
Pffft, this will be piss easy.
First, scope out the store to see what we can expect in terms of personnel. Get 2 members of the team (details cleared later) dressed as Confederates, and bring all vehicles. Simple loosen the horses outside the area and pretend they escaped from a Confederate re-enactment play or parade or the like, and make a huge hubbub about it, attracting the attention - and hopefully 'help', of people in and around the store.

Have a second pair inside already get the cash from the cashier as sneakily as possible while everyone else is focused on the horses, then escape in the Explorer after. Like stealing candy from a baby!

>>31764000
OK, you go in dressed as Civil War soldiers. Ulysses S. Grant or Robert E. Lee requisition the register and safe box.
Meanwhile, the horses get inside the store and break as much havoc as they can.

Then you run off to the getaway car.

>>31764000
I support any plan that has room for Wildcard riding on horseback into the target wearing nothing but a toga constructed from confederate flags while duel wielding cavalry sabres.

>>31764000
Nothing can go wrong with this set-up!

>>31764089
>>31764104
These are close enough, can combine them somehow. Not sure what to use the hacker for though.

>>31764030
>Los Santos

The only option left is to head for tha grove and pick up our homies.

Anything else is busta-ass busta shit.

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>>31764104
>Ulysses S. Grant
>Confederate

You may as well call Washington a Loyalist or Eisenhower a Nazi.

what kind of porn does H watch?

>>31764364
Lewd porn.

>>31764341
>You may as well call Washington a Loyalist

I heard that motherfucker had like, 30 goddamn dicks

>>31764376
I heard he once held an opponent's wife's hand... in a jar of acid... at a party.

>>31764375
...Is there any other variety?

>>31764419
Your in-depth knowledge oft pornography shocks and appalls me!

>>31764419
Pure porn.

>>31764364

http://exhentai.org/g/558330/b32edb8dbf/

>>31764341
Didn't read the Confederate uniforms part.

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>>31764489

Ho boy, lolicon!

>>31764089
>>31764104
> Write in

“Alright, the plan will be for J and G to take the Revolvers and the Swords, and the horses too, ride on up to the Store. The rest of us will don uniforms like them with the muskets and support them. The horses will be set loose to create a distraction, W, I trust you can handle that. Me, J, and G will run into the store, get everyone riled up about the distraction, empty it out.

“That should leave only the shopkeep, we can rob him blind, then escape in the confusion into D’s SUV where hopefully we can make it back here, safe and sound.”

H says, “What about the alarm?”

“Disable it or delay it, H,” you say. “You’ll ride in back with D. The rest of us hit the shop, and hopefully we’ll all be able to enjoy some nice tea and cookies here at H’s Moms. Let’s move out.”

You all quickly don your disguises so to speak. You grab a musket and ten rounds of ammunition.

> Equipment that isn’t lost or expended in a Heist will carry over to the next one. Same with Weapons and Vehicles. Guns by default will not be discarded unless they are forced to.

You march alongside J and G as they ride the horses down towards the store, gathering yourself some attention. J says, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

> “Relax and we’ll be fine.”
> “You worry too much.”
> “Keep it together!”
> Write in

> Voting periods now shortened to five minutes.

>>31764593
>> “Keep it together!”

>>31764593
> “Keep it together!”
I have this urge to shout RAMIREZ but it's both the wrong quest AND genre...

>>31764593
> “You worry too much.”
Hope nobody calls the police about loose horses on the road.

>>31764593
>Write in

THE SOUTH HAS RISEN AGAIN!

>>31764593
> “You worry too much.”

>>31764593
There are multiple heists?

And 5 minutes might be a little short, I often spend more time tabbed out at least.

>>31764794
then you miss the vote deal with it

>>31764836
It was more a worry that there won't be enough voters, anon.

> “Keep it together!”

You say, “Keep it together, we can do this!”

With that, the Ford Explorer pulls up on the street across from the store with the 12-Pounder Napoleon in tow, H and D inside. H quickly gives you a thumbs up as she works on silencing the alarm.

You give a thumbs up back, then J and G dismount. W comes out of nowhere and slaps the horses on the rear, sending them whinnying and galloping around in chaos. J runs into the store.

“Y’all have got to come out~!” she says in her best southern belle. “Our horses are outta control!” She leads the various people inside the store outside after the horses.

You and G run in, surprising the shopkeep, who is now alone. You draw your musket and G draws a LeMat on him. “Put the money in the bag you son of a bitch!” yells G.

The shopkeep raises his hands in fright. “O-Okay! Let me get the register!” he says. He reaches down to the register.

The ceiling lights up, and a loud voice announces, “SILENT ALARM ACTIVATED!”

…

You and G look at him. He smiles nervously, pausing.

> Shoot him
> “We didn’t say stop!”
> Write in

>>31764593
>Keep it together

>>31764851
as long as their is one vote then we are good
>>31764861
> “We didn’t say stop!”

>>31764861
> Shoot him
Well this is a bust.

>>31764861
> Write in
Fire off a shot into the ceiling.
> “We didn’t say stop!”

>>31764861
> “We didn’t say stop!”
Shoot him after he's opened the register.

>>31764915
>shooting a guy over less than 2k
Cops are gonna be much more enthusiatic chasing a murderer than just an armed robber.
Don't overcomplicate things.

>>31764861
> “We didn’t say stop!”
Then once he's done, shoot him.

>>31764960
Anon, this is a Fun quest, and shooting people is Fun in my opinion.

>>31764861
>we didn't say stop
>shoot next to him

>>31764861
> “We didn’t say stop!”
Maybe club him with our weapon. No need to shoot.

> “We didn’t say stop!”

G fires off a shot into the ceiling. “Money in the bag!”

The shopkeep screams like a girl as he starts emptying the register of the dollars into a plastic shopping bag. That’s more like it. He empties of it of the contents relatively quickly and hands it to G.

> SCORE ACQUIRED: 1,158 DOLLARS
> By default, Scores are divided six ways among you and your associates. Dead associates do not receive a score and thus your share will be much bigger.

G holds the bag up in the air, grinning. “We got it!”

“Great!” you say. “Let’s get-“

The shop wall blows up, blasting plaster, shrapnel, and bags of chips all over you, G, and the shopkeep. You end up sprawled on the floor next to G, who rubs her bleeding forehead. You cough, waving some smoke out of your face. “You okay, G!?” you yell.

“What!?” she says.

“I said, Are you okay!?” you scream.

“What makes you think I’m gay!?” screams G. She stands up, rubbing some blood off her forehead, nothing too serious. She looks over at the shopkeep, who’s been impaled by a piece of rebar. “Shopkeep’s bought the farm!” she yells.

You look out the new open air entrance to see W next to a smoking 12-Pounder Napoleon. “Did we get the money!?” she yells.

> “Fuck you, W!”
> “You nearly killed us!”
> “Yeah!”
> Write in

>>31765095
> “You nearly killed us!”
> “Yeah!”
Rally to the getaway car!

>>31765095
>> “Fuck you, W!”
>> “You nearly killed us!”
crazy bitch

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>>31765095
>Dead associates

What happened to our hacker disabling/delaying the alarm?

>>31765095
> “Yeah!”
Don't be a buzzkill, man.

>>31764861
>"Yeah!"
Make sure to give her a thumbs up. W's awesome.

>>31765095
>Dead associates do not receive a score and thus your share will be much bigger
So this is going to go down like Resevoir Dogs during our last major heist?

>>31765095
> “Yeah!”
Then shoot her for nearly killing us, and to increase our share.

>>31765095
> “Fuck you, W!”
>>31765182
she is a nutter not awesome

>>31765095
>Dead associates do not receive a score and thus your share will be much bigger.

well shit, here we go into the 'anyone can die' zone. we really have to be careful.

>>31765137
Clearly they had some fiendish security measure, like not having wi-fi.

>>31765254
Those bastards.

>>31765231
>we really have to be careful
Yeah, we need to kill off the rest of the crew without getting ganked ourselves!

> “Yeah!”

You give her the finger, glaring at her. “We sure did, let’s get to the car quick!” you yell as you both run out of the store at her.

W says, “Why are you yelling!?”

“BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DESTROYED OUR EARDRUMS!” screams G.

“What!?” yells W.

“Huh!?” you shout.

“Who!?” yells G.

“Run!” yells J as she runs up the street. Police cars start coming up behind her. Ah shit. You run over to D’s car. D quickly hops out and throws the shotgun to G, who quickly cocks it then aims it at an approaching car.

You yell at H. “Why didn’t you disable the Alarm!?”

“They didn’t have wi-fi!” yells H.

G pumps lead through the police car’s windshield, splattering the insides with blood of pigs. The car flies out of control and crashes into a building, bursting into flames. W laughs as she starts turning the cannon around to face the oncoming cars.

> CHEESE IT!
> LAST STAND MOTHERFUUUUUCKERS
> Write in

>>31765311
> CHEESE IT!

>>31765311
> CHEESE IT!

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W is best girl.

geh heh heh

>>31765311
> CHEESE IT!
Put those antique weapons to use while escaping the scene.

>>31765311
> CHEESE IT!

>>31765311
>CHEESE IT

Oh, and give those boys in blue a proper volley.

>>31765311
> CHEESE IT!

> CHEESE IT!

You run to the car, firing off your musket at the cops fruitlessly as G continues to play Darkest of Days in real life. “Run for it!” you yell.

D puts the car in reverse and waits for you all to get in. “Hurry up!” You hop into the backseat next to H. G continues pumping lead until she’s out of ammo. She and J run for the car under fire from dismounted cops. W continues laughing madly as she fires off another round from the Napoleon, blasting a car to pieces and setting several cops on fire.

“W!” you scream. “Get over here!”

“But-“

“No buts, get over here now!”

W growls, then runs over to the car, hopping into the back. J hops into the shotgun seat, loading her LeMat revolver. G grabs the roof and rides on the side of the car as it reverses away from the store.

“Great!” you say. “We got about 1,200 dollars. We’ll split this once we get back to the safe house!”

D nods. “Great!” she says. She taps the brakes, but the car doesn’t respond. She taps them again. “Um. Brakes aren’t working.”

“They were working fine just a minute ago!” says H.

“THAT’S BECAUSE I CUT THE BRAKES!” yells W. “WILDCARD, BITCHES! YEEEEEEEEEHAW!” She hops out the back, landing under the car without harm. She laughs as she runs off in some random direction, leaving the five of you dumbstruck.

The car continues reversing.

> BAIL OUT
> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this
> Write in

>>31765612
What's the terrain like? If there's a lot of open, flat road or a hill we can head up, stay. If it's packed city streets or downhill, bail.

We are punching W in the ovaries the next time we see her.

Ask D. If she says bail out, bail out. If she thinks she can fix it, stay inside.

>>31765612
>have faith in our goddess D

If only for wanting to see police chase a car going in reverse the entire way.

>>31765612
>>> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this

>>31765612
> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this

W is the Evil overlord, isn't she?

>>31765612
> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this
A captain goes down with her ship.

>>31765654
Flat city streets.

>>31765612
> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this
> But keep our guns handy in case we need to blow the tires out.

>>31765612
>> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this

Anyone wanna discuss LGA while we do this?

>>31765728
No.

>>31765728
Not if it's tanksperging at least. It's fine in GUP quests...and nowhere else.

>>31765774

Mostly wanted to talk about buying the T-34 chassis in the shop

> D’s a good driver, she can get out of this

D handles the wheel and the gear shift with all the amazing grace of an angel trying to escape from hell. J sticks her arm out of the window, firing away at the pursuing cops, while G freearms the shotgun as she hangs off the side of the car. The car screeches and roars as it swerves around traffic and pedestrians.

“Hold on!” yells D as she pulls the car into a spin. G holds on for dear life as the car is pulled into a bootleggers turn. Now it drives forward away from the cops down the street.

“Fuck you, D!” yells G. “I’m still out here!”

J says, “Next time, don’t do that shit!”

“I wanted to look cool!” G yells back.

Suddenly, you’re buzzed by a police helicopter, carrying police snipers. “This is the LSPD!” yells the pilot. “Pull over and surrender or we will use force!”

Like they aren’t using force already. D yells, “Roadblock!”

Up ahead is a roadblock of Police APCs and SWAT teams. There are several alleys to cut into but you don’t know where they lead either.

> PUSH THROUGH
> Cut into the Alleys
> Surrender
> Write in

>>31765924
>> Cut into the Alleys

>>31765924
> Cut into the Alleys!

>>31765924
>surrender

Its ogre

>>31765887
It can probably wait for next LGA.
>>31765924
> Cut into the Alleys
What could go wrong?

>>31765924
> Cut into the Alleys

choppers in the air? what is that? 3 or 4 star rating on us then? or should the national guard get called out on us next?

>>31765924
>> Cut into the Alleys

>LSPD
>Pull out our controller and R1, R1, Circle, R2, Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Down

> Cut into the Alleys

D pulls the car into an alley, dodging a full barrage of machine gun rounds from the SWAT members pulled up at the roadblock. The alley is narrow, with lots of dumpsters and other garbage for the car to just plow through at its high speed.

G says, “Fuck this, I’m coming in!” She busts through the backwindow and jumps in, lying in back.

“With that chopper on us, there’s no way we can escape now!” yells H. “We’re fucked!” she cries.

“We are not fucked!” you say. “Pull it together!”

The Car crashes into the end of the alley, throwing you all forwards. The Police block in the entrance to alley, dismounting and pulling out their shotguns and rifles, firing at you and riddling the car with bullets.

D yells, “It’s a dead end!”

You look around. There’s a fire escape up to a ceiling.

> Go up the fire escape.
> LAST STAND MOTHERFUCKERS
> Write in

>>31766251
> Go up the fire escape.
"Last stand" is admitting defeat.

>>31766251
>Fire escape!
Tell H to hack their radios and trick them into thinking we're elsewhere! Their radios have GOT to be wireless!

>>31766251
Signal your mole in the police to blow up something important.

>>31766251
> Go up the fire escape.
Try not to cry.

>>31766251
>> Go up the fire escape.

>>31766297
I don't know if her laptop can hack into radiowaves.

>>31766251
>Write in
Call W, ask her to blow something up and take the heat off us.

> Go up the fire escape.

You all bail out of the car, using the doors for cover as you take potshots at the cops.

“Go!” yells J as she covers you with her Revolver. H climbs up the ladder first, then D, you and G continue holding ground. Suddenly, J is shot in the heart, collapsing onto her back.

“J!” G runs over, checking on her. “She’s gone! Fuck!”

> THE JACK IS DEAD

You run up the ladder, G covering you with both revolvers now. It’s one less share you suppose. You arrive on the roof with H and D. G climbs up the ladder under duress, finally making it to the top, her head bleeding. “You okay, G?”

She nods. “I’ll walk it off. Come on.”

You nod. You look around. Where to now?

> Head for the Safehouse
> Try and lose the Cops
> Write in

>>31766488
>> Try and lose the Cops

>>31766488
> Try and lose the Cops
I guess we'll run around until hopefully W saves us. We can't exactly lose a helicopter as we are.

>>31766488
> Try and lose the Cops
C'mon H, be a LITTLE useful at least.

>>31766488
>Write In
Tell H to disable their radios.
> Try and lose the Cops

>>31766488
> Try and lose the Cops
Split up, send H and G off in one direction, while we and D go in another.

> Try and lose the Cops

You all run across the rooftop, dodging bullets left and right as the SWAT snipers onboard the helicopter take shots at you. H yells, “I can’t work like this!”

You reach the end of a rooftop. No time to stop though. You jump, clearing the gap and rolling to a halt on the other side. D goes next, hopping across with little difficulty. H looks at the gap with hesitation. “Uh… I’ll just go ahead and get arrested, thanks,” she says.

G yells, “Go!” She grabs H by the collar and tosses her across. H screams as she is thrown, then is caught by the two of you.

“Come on, G!” you yell. G steadies herself for a jump across then jumps. She is quite suddenly shot in the chest, failing to make the jump and falling into the alley below.

> THE GUNMAN IS DEAD

“Ah goddamn it!” yells D.

You all continue running across rooftops, dodging the helicopter. Finally, you reach a ladder and slide down, managing to break contact with the chopper for a short period of time. You reach the end of the alley and into the street.

An Ice Cream truck pulls up, blasting cheery music. W is driving, and she yells, “Get in!”

> Fuck that.
> Beggers can’t be choosers, get in.
> Write in

>>31766805
> Beggers can’t be choosers, get in.
Ffffffuckin W.

>>31766805
>> Beggers can’t be choosers, get in.

>>31766805
> Beggers can’t be choosers, get in.
Perfect.

Why am I thinking about Twisted Metal right now?

>>31766805
> Beggers can’t be choosers, get in.
i hope to god our team will get re-spawned at the local hospital and all.

>>31766872
I'm thinking more GTA about now.

So when's the part where it's just us and D in the boat and she says "You know, there doesn't need to be two of us."?

>>31766988
but D's already dead.

>>31767083
No, J and G are dead.

>>31767083
probably at that point M is the last one left, if we're lucky.

> Beggars can’t be choosers, get in.

You all hop into the back of the ice cream, hiding yourself from view as cops plow past, ignorant.

W smiles, now in a bloodied Ice Cream truck driver’s uniform. “I think we lost them!” she says.

You say, “J and G didn’t make it.”

“Aw,” says W. “That’s a shame, I really wanted to see what underwear G wore.”

“Striped,” says H. You all look at her funny. H blushes a little, playing with her hair. “Just a guess.”

You roll your eyes. “Whatever, take us to the safehouse, W.”

“You got it!” says W.

With that, you manage to make it out of Ground Zero of the robbery without getting pounced by the cops. You make it back to the safehouse in due time.

> ROBBERY SUCCESSFUL
> “The 24/7 Job”

> STATS
> MONEY ACQUIRED: 1,158 DOLLARS
> DRIVER’S SHARE: 289.50$
> HACKER’S SHARE: 289.50$
> WILDCARD’S SHARE: 289.50$
> YOUR SHARE: 289.50$

> GUNMAN DEAD
> JACK DEAD

> Dead Crewmembers will respawn by the next Heist anyway.

You all hang out in Hacker’s room, relaxing after the job. H’s mom has brought lemonade and ice cream for you all, groovy!

> Call up Sweetie
> Talk to Someone (Specify)
> Plan a new Heist for next time
> Write in

>>31767159
> Plan a new Heist for next time
Gas station.

>>31767159

Talk to Jack

>>31767159

Backhand W for cutting the brakes, chastise H for not even warning us the alarm was still live.

>>31767159
> Dead Crewmembers will respawn by the next Heist anyway.

So basically we can shoot everyone at the end of one heist, take all the loot, and then grin awkwardly at them the next day?

>>31767241
Yes.

>>31767254
Alpha 2 wins!

>>31767241

Not a good precedent though

>>31767254
we are so playing GTA meets TF2. I LOVE IT! Thanks Schteel!
>>31767159
> Plan a new Heist for next time

>>31767159
> Dead Crewmembers will respawn by the next Heist anyway.
SCHTEEL, YOU ARE PLAYING WITH MY HEEAAAART.
I sincerely thought we lost them forever and I had gotten attached!
> Call up Sweetie
> Plan a new Heist for next time

> Plan a new Heist for next time

You call up Sweetie as you look out the blinds of H’s window. “Sweetie, it’s me. I assume you got the news?”

“You lost two crewmembers and nearly got yourselves killed robbing a 24/7 store. Are you guys fucking daft?” says Sweetie.

“Maybe,” you say. “Point is, we got the joint. We got the money, we can do jobs.”

“Ugh,” Sweetie groans in frustration. “I suppose you did. Fine, I tell you something, I’ll move you up to something a bit bigger. Something more… your speed. There’s a Diamond shop in town. Lot of diamonds, lot of money to make. I’ll stay in touch.”

“Great!” you grin. Sweetie hangs up on you at that. You look at your remaining crew. D is busy trying to wrestle W away from H whose clothes have been torn to shreds. “Guys!” you say. “We’ve got a new job to do! Once G and J get out of the hospital, it’s time we start on the next score.”

> NEXT TIME ON SWEETIE’S SIX
> DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER

> Stay tuned for whenever I decide to run such a thing.
> I need to refine this heist stuff.
> Follow at: https://twitter.com/i/notifications
> See you next time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b1wt3-zpzQ

>>31767494
>> Follow at: https://twitter.com/i/notifications

hue

>>31767534
Whoops.

https://twitter.com/GermanSchteel

>>31767547
Tonks?

And they say nothing good comes from QTG.

>>31767494
Thanks for running Schteel.

>>31767494

Thanks for silly fun schteel

>>31767547
>1 new post
Hey since you made smut for tanks will you make smut for magic shop?

>>31767805
If I have time to.

>>31767840
Once Magic Shop wraps up, will you run this normally in its place? It was a helluva quest.

>>31767840
Were elements of this inspired by the Achievement Hunter's heist, or am I an idiot?

>>31767898
Maybe, I still have to refine the Heist mechanics.

>>31767911
Yes.

>>31767840
If people ask you enough, will you make smut for every quest?

>>31767840
Huray for Knight love!

Will it be Knight love?

>>31768094
I would prefer if you guys would try your hand at it, but I will do my best if given the time.

>>31768202
Yes.

>G and J dead
Oh shit!
>nah, they were just "knocked unconscious"
Schteel you magnificent bastard.

>>31768219
Cute girls doing cute knight things, or that atrocious jousting harem anime?

>>31768484
Probably the former. Anyway, I'm off to sleep. Good night.

>>31768484
Magic Ship.

Garrison and Norman