>>32074324
Ask herd leader when will we finally return to our rightful home the goat tower

Goat Quest is GOAT.

Acquire tower.

>>32074324

Thinking deeply upon my knowledge of what is best in goat life, I stubbornly scratch my butt on the fence! How many points do I receive?

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>>32074619
>>32074668
You amble up to Goat who is Herd Leader, who is currently munching on some grass.

"Goat who is Herd Leader," you bleat, "We have been away from our goat tower for long enough, don't you agree?"

Goat who is Herd Leader does not respond; she merely continues to graze.

"The rest of the herd has been asking as well," you continue. "How long has it been? Will we ever return to our rightful home?"

Goat who is Herd Leader finally interrupts her meal to bleat with you. "You know the answer," she says. "We shall return to our goat tower when Goat who Milks you allows for it."

The sun is high. It is unlikely you will be able to ask Goat who Milks you any time soon. That, and he doesn't seem to understand the herd's tongue.

>>32074671
Nevertheless, it doesn't hurt to ask anyway, but since you have much time to kill, you ponder what is best in goathood.

And what is best in goathood is to get rid of the itch your butt has been having for some time now. You amble up to the fence to scratch your rump upon the panels...

Where many of the weaker ones fall over, allowing you to escape the pasture if you so choose.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32075035

Aha! With the fence down, it is time for the next best thing in goathood: mischief! I amble on out the fence and begin looking for something to chew on, or perhaps pee all over. Y'all know how we do.

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>>32075107
Your actions have carved a path into the outside world. Knowing that, it is time to explore. And make Goat who Milks you angry, as Goat who is Especially Flatulent did when she escaped the pen some months ago. That was amusing.

And what better way to do that than dine on those delicious flowers across the street? It is best to get to those before the other goats do.

You step over the metal frame holding the fence together and trot out to the house across the road. The flowers are as tasty as you had hoped.

You also notice a metal cylinder that smells quite pungent. Knocking it over, you sample the contents. Some of them taste good, others foul.

Your mischief is interrupted by a group shouting in a tongue you do not understand. You pull out of the cylinder, thinking Goat who Milks you has caught you, but the noise turns out to be from the two-legged goats with signs. They don't seem to be paying you any heed.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32075439
Attempt to decipher the signs. If the words are magical, reiterate them and see what effect they have on the two-legged goats with signs.

>>32075439
these two-legged goats with signs are in my new territory. piss on one of them.

>>32075439
jump on the stage and bite someone's pants

>>32074324
Is there a goat tower near by? If so I wish to enter the tower. Only goats are allowed in the goat tower, and now that we're a goat we can finally gain entrance.

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>>32075439
You should gnaw on some wood

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>>32075556
Before doing anything else, You look around your surroundings for a goat tower. There is none. Perhaps you will find one elsewhere, but for now...

>>32075500
Your attention then turns to the noisy two-legged goats. Try as you might, you cannot decipher the runes on their signs, although one of them looks similar to a carrot.

>>32075537
You give up and focus on the goats themselves. You notice they are wearing delicious-looking coverings. You walk up to one and sample one such covering from behind.

Oops. You have accidentally knocked him over as you tried to tear off some of the covering. The other two-legged goats run away screaming, while the goat you have sampled from is crumpled in a silly position. The covering is not to your liking, either.

>>32075517
Nevertheless, because he is in your new territory, you think it wise to pee on him, and do so.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32075819
nap and/or chew on a can

>>32075819
there's nothing to eat on this street. (we're in the middle of the street, right?) go off to eat that bush to our right. then pee on it to mark it as ours

>>32075819
Try to rip off the rest of the other goat's coverings, we might need them for later.

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>>32075962
You decide to look for something else to eat and go off to a bush on your right, while the two-legged goat is rolled away by a large, noisy goat with spinning hooves. The leaves are delicious.

But before you can mark it with your signature fluids, you hear more yelling in a foreign tongue, and turn to face it.

You are familiar with this goat. He is Goat who Milks you.

>>32076106
greet him

>>32076106
headbutt him to establish your dominance

>>32076106
Draw the Pythagorean theorem in the dirt to let him know we are sapient.

>>32076106
Milk him before he tries to do the same.

>>32076141
>>32076189

same thing

>>32076141
>>32076189
>>32076218
>>32076220

Then again, remember that time that Goat who is Especially Flatulent got out, and Goat who Milks Us was very angry and put her back.
Run away instead.

>>32076240
headbutt him until he stops protesting your dominance over him. 50 times ought to do the trick. Skulls are tough, right?

>>32076106
Walk past him and begin licking a window.

I have goats, trust me.

>>32076300

I think Goat who is Especially Flatulent tried that. Goat who Milks Us just grabbed her.
Definitely run away, we've hardly gotten any mischief done so far!

>>32076329
well, dominate the head between his legs that he kept offering to Goat who Hobbles first, then get the head on his shoulders.

>>32076355

That might work. Walking on two legs leaves you vulnerable, silly goat!

Aim for the family jewels!

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>>32076218
In an attempt to communicate with Goat who Milks you, you draw Goat who Taught that Theorem you Learned in High School's theorem in the dirt.

Except you were never in high school, because you are a goat, and thus don't know what that is. Therefore, what you draw is a jumbled mess.

>>32076240
Furthermore, it is largely interrupted when Goat who Milks you comes closer in an attempt to drag you back to the pen. You are reminded of the time when Goat who is Especially Flatulent got out. You run away instead, as you would rather continue this escapade for a little longer.

Or until you find a goat tower, whichever comes fi-Baphomet's horns, you completely forgot to ask!

Not that it matters, at this point.

>>32076440
Run off until Goat who milks is gone and then check surroundings.

>>32076440
Ask any goats we see (two or four legged) if they know where goat tower is

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>>32076496
Although Goat who Milks you gives chase, his two legs are no match for your four, and you easily outrun him.

...Right into a large, noisy goat with spinning hooves. You are rolled down the road for some distance before you get pushed off to the sidewalk, splayed out in a hilarious position.

You quickly right yourself and take survey of your surroundings. Goat who Milks you is nowhere in sight. There is a goat pen nearby. It is not yours, but there are goats fenced in. Large, black and white goats twice your size. Many stare vacantly at you, chewing. You bleat out to the nearest large goat; you decide to call her Goat who is Large. Perhaps she knows where the goat tower is?

>This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it's looking to be a bit longer. In any case, I'm calling it a night. Next thread should hopefully be tomorrow. Thanks for playing!

>>32076440

Stop and try to scratch my left ear with my right hind leg. Goat Who Was My Mother always said that a goat who could do that could do anything.
Then look around for anything mischief-worthy.

>>32074324
How gruff are we?

pg 10 bump so OP can continue within this thread

See you again soon OP.

>>32076978
The gruffest.

>>32083029
Too gruff to rebuff?

>>32084348
Nobody's tough enough to rebuff our gruff.

>>32076852
We just shrugged off being hit by a truck.
I vote we change our name to Goat Who Is Juggernaut.

>>32086860
Nah, all that's just the plot armor.

>>32086906
Goat Who has Plot Armour, perhaps?

>>32089628
Goat Who Is Protagonist implies plot armor

>>32086860
>>32086906
>>32089628
>>32089668
>implying this quest isn't a rehash of Goat Simulator

>>32091274
Well, yeah. I'm just coming up for an in-quest justification. I know it's Goat Simulator. The screenshots make that obvious, even if you don't notice everything else.

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Goat who is Large takes notice, and plods toward you in mild curiosity.

>>32076552
"Hello, Goat who is Large," you bleat, "I am Goat who is the Protagonist. I am looking for a place called the goat tower, have you heard of it?"

Goat who is Large merely stares at you, chewing her cud. It seems you will not get a reply from her.

>>32076941
You think back to the bleatings that Goat who is your Mother told you when you were still a kid. She told you "A goat who can scratch her left ear with her right foot can do anything!" You never understood the logic in that, but your ear does kind of itch, so you attempt it anyway. It isn't terribly difficult.

You feel the urge to misbehave further. You notice a building in the distance, where you can see two-legged goats insert hoses into large, noisy goats with spinning hooves. Perhaps there is fun to be had there, or food to raid, or maybe a goat who has seen the tower.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32091785
Let's check out this building, that's definitely not going to explode in the style of a certain director.

Also, Goat who is GM has returned! Celebrations!

>>32091785
We should piss on one of the goats with spinning hooves. Hitting us before was rude.

>>32091911
This. I like this.

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>>32091884
>>32091911
You bid Goat who is Large farewell and trot over to the building. Still incensed over having been hit by one earlier, you urinate on one of the goats with spinning hooves.

You smell something odd coming from the hose in its side, but before you can investigate, you hear unintelligible bleating from inside the building. On closer look, one two-legged goat is pointing something at another two-legged goat behind the counter.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32092248
Jump through the window. Perhaps the Two Legged Goat Behind The Counter might know where the Tower can be found.

>>32092248
Try to tug the hose and find out what's causing that smell.

>>32092248
'Greet' the two-legged goat pointing at the other one.

>>32092248
Grab that hose and save the two-legged goat with the stick from that mean goat trying to take it away from him

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>>32092302
>>32092282
Perhaps the goat behind the counter could tell you where the goat tower is, but for now, you are curious about that hose.

You tug at the hose and pull it out of the goat with spinning hooves, but can't drag it inside. Moreover, smelly liquid is gushing out of it. You think you shouldn't drink it.

With that out of the way, you leap into the building through an empty space - and end up shattering glass. You do not like the sound of it.

Both goats turn to you immediately after your entrance for a moment, before going back to bleating at each other.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32092971
Let's lick the Goat with a Stick.

>>32093392
And nibble at his clothes. Maybe they taste good.

See if fabric on goat with stick's legs tastes with good. Preferably towards its rear side.

>>32092971
Can I give myself a new name?

I'd like to be called Goat 2.

>>32093408
I second trying to eat things. Specifically Goat with a Stick's things.

>>32093418
You walk up to Goat who Carries a Stick and start nipping at the covering around his legs. It tastes better than the previous goat you sampled from, but now he is bleating angrily as he crumples into a heap.

>>32093392
You then lick him. He is now stuck to your tongue.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32093667
Lick him more? I mean, if the first lick stuck him to us it stands to reason the second lick will unstick him.

>>32093667
>He is now stuck to your tongue.
This seems like a problem that can, as with most other problems, be solved by eating.

panic and flail about trying to get Goat who carries a stick off of us.

>>32093715
How does one of our bites take down a goat on two legs?

>>32093916
Maybe we bit off his balls?

>>32093916

A good question. I assumed the first two-legged "goat" we took down was some sort of effigy or something the protestors had set up.
Life is weird through the eyes of a goat.

>>32093725
This.

>>32093916
>>32093977
Well, this seems to be based of the game Goat Simulator (On Steam) where pretty much just touching a human will ragdoll them, and licking anything will stick our super-extendable tongue to it. We can also ragdoll.

>>32094018
Ahhh I see.

Somewhat more comfortable than the answer on >>32093946

>>32094018

I'm glad we didn't bite Goat who Milks Us then. He seemed like a decent goat, we just need to get a bit more mischief done.

>>32093667
pee on him

Rolled 7

[X] Become the Devil Goat.

>>32093725
You panic and start flailing about, your tongue stuck to Goat who Carries a Stick extending to ridiculous lengths as you pull away from him. Eventually, Goat who Carries a Stick gives in and starts dragging along as you run outside. The smelly fluid still gushing from the hose is puddled all over the area now.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32094471
drag Goat with a Stick into the puddle of smelly liquid. Maybe that'll get him off.

>>32094502
This, and if that doesn't work, try dragging him into the boxes that the hoses are attached to.

>>32094502
>>32094582
Yes. These are both excellent ideas.

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>>32094502
>>32094582
You come up with an idea, and drag Goat who Carries a Stick into the smelly fluids, hoping they'll get him unstuck to your tongue. This fails, however, so you drag him over to the boxes that the hoses are attached to.

And then the building explodes the moment he makes contact with them. You are both sent flying.

A short time later, you land face first in front of a construction site. Goat who Carries a Stick is nowhere to be seen, nor is he attached to your tongue anymore. After righting yourself, you notice the site contains a giant structure of red bars. It is not the goat tower, but perhaps it could take you high enough to see it.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32094992
Climb up, but be sure not get our head stuck in the ladder rungs

>>32094992
Like the structure.

>>32095097
lick*

Rolled 8

>>32094992

Climb the damn tower.


Also this shit is bananas. Saw Team Four Star do a Vegeta plays Goat Simulator and now I can't help picturing a Vegeta goat hybrid with Vegeta's voice

>>32095052
You climb up the structure. You have a little trouble with the ladder (mostly involving your head stretching and slinging around all over the place), but reach the top before long.

Walking to the end of a bridge at the very top, you can see much of the town below you. You can see your pen, you can see Goat who is Large's pen, you can see the ruins of the building that blew up. You can see...

You can see the goat tower! It isn't too far from your pen after all. Perhaps you should return, rally your herd and return to your homela-

Is that Goat who Milks you climbing up the structure?

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?

>>32095453
We should tip over the ladder he's climbing up.

>>32095453
Jump off the structure in the direction of Goat Tower. We can still make it!

Rolled 17

>>32095453

Lick Goat who milks us and just jump off the tower

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I hate to say it gents, but my internet is shitting out something fierce. I'm afraid I'll have to call it a night again.

NEXT TIME ON GOAT QUEST: The finale! (For real this time.)

Thanks for playing, folks!

>>32095954
We will bleat with happiness at your return, Goat who is QM.

>>32095966
This is surprisingly funny in text form. I really like your goat naming system, Goat who is QM.

>>32099313
Yeah I'm a fan also. This is exactly the sort of a thing a one-shot should be.

See you tomorrow OP