>>32241123

there's always Lance

>>32241123
Plate armor here, how does it feel being useless in all except a civilian setting?

>1007*2
>Not glorious ranged master race
>Filthy melee barbarians
>Stay away

>>32241123

I can't believe *two swords* can now be used, instead of the natural sword and shield. It's just not right! Dagger and sword get a pass, because if you look at it from a distance, it only looks like a sword

AAAAAXE

>>32241256

Damnit Axe have you been drinking again?

>>32241167

Fuck you armor, you don't talk shit when Mace is around

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You must excuse my absence. Been occupied escorting my friend cloak.

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Who needs Mace when you've got me?

Zweihander here. Spear's problem with Sword is partially my fault. I'm practically a scaled up copy of him and I chop Spear's head off every time i see her. The trauma that created for her was the last straw, since the couple was already getting distant thanks sword's rep with nobility and spear's rep with the peasants. God I still feel horrible about it.

>>32241123

FUCK YOU, YOU FILHTY WHORE!

I still remember when we first met during ancient times when me and you were only good and happy pair.

Then came that filthy narccistic ffucking sword in picture!

You abondement me to that "tacticool2" sword, just because he could slash I couldn't

WELL FUCK YOU SHIELD! How does it feel to be paired with retard who can't even do superior formation fighting?

How does it feel that smug bastard steals your glory and you can only watch helpless.

How does it feel to have thos cum taste on your surface while your owner masturbates to sword?

ALSO FUCK YOU OTHER WEAPONS! I was first one to paired with shield! Rest of you have only sloppy seconds, you fuckers.

Spear master race reporting

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Someone talking shit about Spear? His big brother Pike is my bro for life, so you be nice to him.

>>32241533

Spear, stop being a bitch

Anything that doesn't explode is not seeing much fame nowadays, shut up and take the time to get shit sorted out. Shield just wants to get the gang back together.

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>>32241533
Sling here. Just popping in to remind spear that he's being a retard. Shield has always been a complete slut.

Hell, I was having her on the side back when she and him first got together.

Time to face facts after all these years man, you got fucking played.

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>>32241680
>implying you didnt fuck spear, you dirty slut.

>>32241680
Shut up gramps, times have changed.

>>32241651

stop being bitch? STOP BEING BITHC?

I tell you what kid. I stop being bitchy when I get the glory I deserve!

Who was who did all the heavy lifting until recently?

Who was that showed that discpline and formation were supreme choice over those barbarian charges?

Thats righ ME AND SHIELD and that fucker abondement me for that lazy SOB sword!

I haven't even been a weapon of choice for heroes for hundreds of years, while sword gets to be one every fucking month.

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>>32241706
Respect you Elders boy!
Back in my day, we weren't made of plastic or wood. We were made of the Bone of your enemy!

Mrmmm, where's that damned nurse. . .I want my brain pudding.

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>>32241533
>>32241680
>>32241692


....Okay, I admit, that was a shitty phase of mine. I don't have any excuses

But it's still not worth it hating each other like this. Every single one of us is a relic now, if we are going to be like this, wouldn't you rather get along? Our Bronze years were weird for everybody

>>32241692
That's a picture of spears little pussy brother dart. And yeah, you better believe I wrecked that tight little arse.

Bitch looked good in his little fletch get up.

I also had a 3 way with staff and javelin.

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>this thread

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Guys guys guys.

I'm like totally sensing a lot of negative vibes here.

You guys need to relax, like seriously just chillax.

Just like sit right down in the dirt and ground like me and just like contemplate about digging trenches or something ya know?

You're all weapons or tools man, you shouldn't be fighting each other, you just got it like play to your strengths and you're all super fucking special in your own special ways or something if you know what I mean right?

Guys guys seriously ya'll be way too stressed and overworked about petty things or something. Just relax and talk this shit out like adults.

Oh man I fucking love dirt.

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Y'all niggers are obsolete, deal with it. Well, not dagger, he still does plenty of killing. But there are no brakes on the explosion train.

>>32241724

Lance here. This is why we don't talk anymore, speae. Pike moved on, I got some nice hangouts with Billhook and Helmet and we have a good time. You sit on your museum and bitch for days.

For iron's sake, bro, get yourself out of your own ass

>>32241786
>Every single one of us is a relic now
Speak for yourself, you still get to see some action every now and then and Armor might have lost a few pounds but he's still out there.

They put you on the sides of gun turrets now.

>>32241763
Even Grandpa Club is still getting some.

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BOOM MUTHAFUCKAS!

HAHAHA NOW WHAT ASSWIPES? FUCK YOU SWORD, FUCK YOU GUN, FUCK YOU SHIELD!!!

HOLY SHIT I LOVE BEING WHITEHOT!

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>>32241875
I mean, do you even SEE spear these days? Poor old sword and dagger have had to give way to Machete and Hunting Knife and that's only in 3rdworldistan.

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>>32241680
>>32241786
>>32241803

I-I...I Just wanted one last famous 15 minutes...One last chance being that legendary holy weapon of hero in movie screens or in books.

I worked too hard to remembered only as some peasants weapon, while sword gets all the fame and glory

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>>32241899

Well it just makes me so happy to hear that I'm just not good enough for you.

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>>32241890
That's it, A-Tommy. Take your Ritaling and go to your room. You're grounded.

MA DEUCE HERE. I HAVE COME TO LAUGH AT YOU.

HAH HAH HAH

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"Hey guys how's it....

Oh.

Uh, hey, I've uh, I've got a thing. See ya'll later..."

>>32241932

YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO IMMA GET MY PAL ICBM AND MAH PAL LONG RANGE BOMBER AND WE'RE GONNA FREE THE SHIT OUT OF Y'ALL!!11!

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>>32241899
Dude, you killed a god. And dragons. And you brought about the end of Knights and armor alongside musket.

What more do you want?

>>32241899

The celts gave you that and much more. Just because you don't have the same as others doesn't mean it didn't exist. Npw move on. Shave, bath and go talk to your family.

With the way you have been acting, you are almost as bad as katana is to the blade family. Don't let the polearms have you as "that" cousin.

I heard Halberd is in town, go pay her a visit. She's your nephew after all.

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>>32241763
Poser! I'm the original club.

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>>32241957
Flail here.
Where is musket these days? I only ever see his younger siblings.

>>32241890

So proud, and yet probably hasn't even killed as many as Hobart's Funnies.

>>32241948

Get the fuck back here.

Ranseur speaking. We're solving this now. Now go speak to Spear.

>>32241931

Oh I am sorry. I Can't hear my name, while everyone is talking about you and something about three kingdoms.

>>32241957

W-Well for some reason people don't still talk about me. I fucking killed a god and dragon and sword still gets all the pussy and glory.

And finally it was pike with musket that ended that fucking knight era.

Oh how I wish we were still in ancient era

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>>32241899
I'm like totally fucking with you bro.

I like always 24/7 behind the scenes man. Digging the dug and dirting the dirt out all the time, ya know what I'm saying?

I like totally fucking make sure everything is entrenched and shit, like sturdy as a shit brick house strong or something. Like the calm before every storm and if that calm is made up with decomposed shit and bricks or something man.

Do I ever get acknowledged? Fuck no man. Do I even care? Fuck no man.

All I care about is the dirt man, the sweet sweet dirt. Awww man I can't get enough of that shit. I just keep digging it and digging it all day every day nonstop. Its all I fucking ever think about moving dat dirt, packing dat dirt, and then doing it all again the next day man.

Its heaven man, dirt shit and piss heaven. You just gotta grovel with the gravel man. Ya know what I am saying?

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>>32241957
Armor didn't die though. He just needed some time and a break to catch up. Hell, he's going toe to toe with some of Musket's kids.

>>32242004
He's still around, mostly for show and tradition, though but he does get some nice hunting action. Same thing for Bow and his son Cross bow.

>>32241988

Oh you just didn't!?

...

I-I think I must go to my room to think...To remember fondly of those youthful days for last time.

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>>32241988
もしもし、刀です。

>>32241931

Siegfried was here

Cuchulainn is a loser

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>>32241992
Eh? Whut? Whutzeesayin?

>>32241840
>>32241848
>>32242027

>>32241680 Here and I swear to god you small time cunts need to stop hanging around these parts.

This thread is for stone cold killers. Not a gardening tool and some pussy faggot who only gets any action in dark alleys.

>>32242055
Damn... must be nice being a ranged weapon. I miss the good old days when me and my bros got to beat armor's shit in all the time, he was always so damn smug about how nothing could penetrate him.

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>>32242024
Hey, you still got dat legacy man.

Gun and Knife still pay homage to you.

>>32242027

God damn it shovel, have you been with hoe again? You know he likes to till too much weed trenches.

>>32242055
>Same thing for Bow
I can't believe what that dude's put himself through.
Got all these pulleys and shit all over him now.
Some really freaky body mod shit.

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>>32242004
Hows construction bizz working for you?

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Ho Ho, chaps! Fist here, just busy being the only weapon a real man needs! What about you ladies?

>>32242141
That shit fucking works though, huge range boost he lasts longer that way, easier to fix when stuff breaks too.

>>32242068

And this is why we don't invite you anymore. Just speak in a way we can all understand, bronze damn it

Nunchuck here....uhhh why is everyone mad? How come no one told me about this party?

I told you guys I wouldn't fuck up again...

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Everyone get the fuck away from me. I have the pre-electricity chainsaw in my hands and I'm not afraid to tear you apart.

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>>32242068
Ey, stop with yer moonspeak there katana, we know you speak common english. but then again some of us are trying to be practical!

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>>32242156
Hows all those broken knuckles, fingers and skin treating you, friend?

>>32242156

Shut up, you dirty slut.

Everyone has felt you gentle soft and moist touch and you will just abondement them to some new wundertool.

You are dirtiest whore around here

>>32242185
>>32242156
You literal niggers, go back to eating fried chicken and watermellons, you couldn't do SHIT to any of us.

>>32242147
It just doesn't compare to wrecking some dude in armor, but it's job I guess. I hear axe isn't too happy with his current job either but at least he still gets to be used for fighting from time to time.

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>>32242085
Dude I'm like Club's cousin like seventeen times removed or something man.

Remember those two times with like lots of noise and bombing and shit? Like fucking musket's kids and bomb's kids duking it out and shit I'm like "Dudes chill out man and sit with me in the trenches and just like take a 30 minute power nap or something, someone might get a boo boo."

Do you remember those fucking times man? Cuz I sure can't.

>>32242117
Bro I've been clean for like...

*checks watch*

18 minutes man. Give me a break yo, going cold turkey is like hard work or something man. And stop taking shit (I love that too, oh fuck I love dat shit) about Hoe, shes my lover man. She ain't ever cheat on me. No way man.

Like if she cheated on me man, then why am I covered in dirt and shit all the time man? Like flawless logic dude. Can't beat logic its like magic or something man. Dirt magic like whoa.

>>32242204
how's Sickle been?

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Step down plebs, for it is I, Jian.

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Hello?

Anyone there?

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>>32242204
Good day mine grandfather!

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>>32242242
It's no use, friend. They're too far away.

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>>32241948
No fuck that. Odin picks spear, Cuchulain picks spear, Spear gets to kill Jesus H. Christ. Me? Some tart throws me at a Brit and tells him to be king, and then I get a little love from Shield between like, 900 AD and 1600 AD. Now I'M supposed say sorry to HIM for glory hounding? Fuck that.

And you know what else? Shield never loved you because you never really appreciated what she did for you. "Oh, babe, can you stop getting in my way? I know you're supporting me, but I just lose so much versatility when I only have the one hand..." Fuck you.

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>>32242242
Yes gramps?

>>32242235

Sai here

Shut up and sit down, we are having a family get together. Enough being an asshole, we already have sling being a jerk

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Welcome to the future, old farts.

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At least people still remember you guys, I kept these good for nothing humans from dying off and do they even know what I am anymore of course not

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>>32242263
>>32242246

Jesus you kids got big fast.

>>32242218

Last I heard, Sickle was still kind of broken up about how her thing with Hammer went south. It was such an obvious PR stunt, Hammer was only ever doing it for the cameras, but man Sickle got way too involved in that relationship. She's still in denial about it just being a symbolic thing, thinks she and Hammer were made for each other.

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>>32242072
Say that to my face, fucker, not online, see what happens.

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>>32242282
iktfb

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>>32242218
She has found a job as model back in the 20s. I think she is still in activity, she's always with Hammer.

>>32241242
And the fact that carrying a shield in everyday life is not convenient compared to carrying a sword and a dagger.

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Haaay....

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>>32242262
Ignore him everyone, Sword's just angry that I'm better looking than him

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>>32242218
Sickle man? Yo dat dude is overworked or something man.

Last time I saw him, I got confused and dizzy man. Like serious he was on some hamster wheel or something treadmilling like a billion acres of fields or something man. It could have been 2 billion don't know man I can't count that high.

Also her facebook status is like covered in red and yellow shit man. Symbolism? I don't man she probably had a period or something.

>>32242246
Dude I have kids man? I must like be seriously trippy shit balls now man. Shit my therapist did warn me about this shit.

And dude why do you have giant bucket man and conveyor belt or something. You must like 2 trillion kilometers wide and tall or something man. How did you get so fucking swole man? Do you work out or something? It must be all the shit mama feeds you guys.

Also man who was your mama and like was she smoking dirt hot?

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>>32242190
>implying any of you would be any use without me
>implying most of you weren't created by me

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I wonder why people don't like me much. I know I'm hard to learn, but I'm pretty effective if used properly.

>>32241280
>Fuck you armor, you don't talk shit when Mace is around
>Implying mace is ever around

>>32241954
Hush, you're upsetting the baby.

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>>32242344
You quick sonuva bitch, you wouldn't look so good if you'd hold still and parry like a man instead of playing hit-and-run all the damn time.

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All of you stop bickering, goodness, can't have any kind of get together without all of you bitching and whining. Have some civility, after all, I made you as tools of civilization

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Well hello, boys. Doing anything later?

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One day, one day...

>>32242267
>we already have sling being a jerk
Just cause a load of you stupid pricks can't see past your own pointy ends.

Ya'll need some rocks upside your shafts/hafts to knock out the moping out of ya.

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>>32242392
>[The sound of dying stars screaming in the void, and the wails of a child]

>>32242402

Dude, you had your shot, you took it, you missed. Get over it. You had a better run than some of us.

>>32241893
>I mean, do you even SEE spear these days?
Yeah, they build fences out of him, lol.

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>>32242401
Oh gee wiz, I am such a huge fan, whats it like to be the first thing to break the sound barrier?

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I wish you all had a better sense of style. It's embarrassing even knowing some of you.

>>32242401
Hey babe. How's your sister cat o' nine tails?

>>32242357

Did....did you really forget that night with saw in the steel and coal place?

Jesua fuck shovel, you need to stop that dirt smoking shit

>>32241988
>she's your nephew
>she
>nephew

Oh, didn't know I was on /d/

>>32242442
Oh it's just supersonic, baby.

>>32242455
She's all tangled up, I'm afraid.

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>>32241167
>>32241123
Sometimes I wonder why we can be called family members. Until musket came around, We spend half the time beating ourselves up and the other half of the time ganging up on whatever is using Fist at the moment. Now Musket's kids have been dumping on Fist all the time.

>>32242455
>Goes from disciplinary work to the sex industry
Sad thing it is

>>32242426
I missed it ? I allowed a bunch of Spaniards to run over the americas. I killed more people during WWI than artillery and rifles.

I may be old but I'm mutating all the time. Proof is, I scare people from time to time.

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>>32242449
I know, right?

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Hey boys, whats up. Still stuck on the whole battle and glory thing, are ya?

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>>32242402
Don't be so impatient, ours is a life of patience. They fall, they all fall, eventually.

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Hey guys, can I be in the club now ? Please ?

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Hey swords. You're all a bunch of faggots.

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>>32242501
Hammer, don't start, we've all seen your college photos.

>>32242507

Oh, god, how does fucking Pitchfork keep figuring out where and when we hold these things? Whoever keeps telling him, cut it the fuck out.

>>32242464

Hey, we all know that for all the ass she kicks, Bardiche is the real manly man of the polearm family, but Halberd appears more so the fame just comes without the info

I heard she liked to beat up sword and plate armor as a kid. Fun times. Would just swing them away with the hook-y stufd.

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>>32242498
>>32242449
Fanciest motherfucker coming through boys. Make way.

>>32242528
At least scythe hasn't shown up yet. That's always embarrassing.

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>>32242507
Pitchfork, bro! It's me, torch! Remember all those peasant rebellions? Good times, man!

>>32242480
Leather armour here, I can say that I was pretty upset when I lost my job, but the sex industry isn't that bad. Except the fact we aren't really children friendly anymore.

>>32242507
....Did you try to bring Scythe again? I know she's spear's aunt but, uh....

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>>32242518
Life is change, baby. Life is change. That and the ocasional case of domestic homicide. Me and knife, man, me and knife.

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>>32242548
...I never left I... you guys are my only friends

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Has anyone here seen crossbow? He ran away from home again.

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>>32242462
Dude you can't tell me what I can't and can't do man!

I'm the original dirt, shit and piss mover man, for serious yo!

And Saw geez man, I thought I was just there to move her hot burning coals for her ya know nothing sexual at all. A couple of clanks and clangs later, everything like went like completely fucking pitch black and I felt a huge dent on my handle like something got bent or something man I don't know. I thought I just another real hard job well done ya know what I am saying?

Cuz I'm always like covered in dirt and shitfaced when my job is finished man always.

Takes like eleventy hours to get clean man, like seriously dirty yo.

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hai gais doesn't now english well sori

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>>32242480
It's not so bad, honey. Hell even riding crop gets some work now that horses are a little passé

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>>32242576
>>32242548

Piss off, jerks. I am allowed here, so big sis is too. Spear never complains about me.

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>>32242548
I can't believe you guys are still jelly because I've been elected as the very embodiment of death ?

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Why does nobody ever invite me to these shindigs? Don't you all remember the time I saved the world from aliens?

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>>32242637
Don't worry about them, man. They think they're better than us.

>>32242587

Again?

Isn't he with Longbow? Last time that was it. Shortbow teased him.

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>>32242548
Didja jus' call me a ... [hic] ... jus' inshult me? Whajjidya jusss say? I can cutchyoo ash well ash any blade! Prep- [hic] prepare your ankles, BOY. [hic]

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>>32242577
Oh... God... I can still hear all the screams...

MAKE THEM STOP!

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>>32242548
Hey! I'm a perfectly viable tool of war, how well do you think knights can fight after getting their mounts cut out from under them?

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Club, Spear

any of you mind explaining this? It says its your son

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I could be anything they said. Don't worry they said. Now look at me. Why was I even created if this is I would end up. Existence is suffering.

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Best weapon coming trough.

>>32242634
For peasants. Sword is death for the noblemen

>>32242663
>Isn't he with Longbow?
Longbow likes to call himself compound bow now remember? He gets all pissy if you call him by his "dark ages name".

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Nobody is bigger than me

Does someone has that music video?

>>32242678

Oh, hell no.

It was all harpoon's fault, I swear.

>>32242669
KNIFE! KNIFE! Calm down and go back to preparing dinner

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>>32242156
Ha! Anything you can do I can do better!

Except grab things.

>>32242716

At least he had the creativity to come up with something new. Maybe he could give his twin sister some help with that so we can stop saying "The Projectile Formerly Known As Arrow" whenever she's around.

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I hope grandpa camera is proud of me

>>32242687
Maaaaaan. I knew shield was a crazy slut, but I didn't know she got it on with a gauntlet. That's fucked up.

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I fucking hate all of you. Life was so much better before you faggots showed up.

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>>32242711
There has always be more peasants than noblemen.

Also, sword is a bit old fashinned for that sort of things.

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>>32242719
that aint no son of mine, don't try to dump this on me buddy
Well at least I think not, I mean there was that one night getting drunk after hauling that whale and...oh look at the time, gotta go, there's some tuna waiting for me

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>WHEREAS YOU ARE STASIS, WE FEED, WE GROW, AND WE ADAPT. CUT ONE OF US DOWN, AND TWO MORE WILL FILL HIS PLACE. AND ONCE WE HAVE YOU IN OUR GRASP, YOU'RE OURS FOREVER. THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

>KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

>>32242718
I assume you mean this one: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=azEvfD4C6ow

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>>32242752
Fuck you, too. Humans ruined everything

>>32242745
from the looks of it, she got on with spear and dagger as well

that dirty whore

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>>32242772
Shut up hand before I make you scratch butt again

>>32242673
Oh please war scythe. Stop this charade. We all know you're more related to spear and halberd than that curvy shafted idiot.

Just because you pretend to be a farming implement doesn't make it so.

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>>32242772
Dammit Left, stop being so sinister. You're not impressing anyone, you know.

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>>32242718
Like seriously man.

The fuck are you kids eating to get this fucking huge. Like its blowing the shit and dirt out my dirty and shitty mind man. Its shit boggling.

Like back in my day, I think it was 2 minutes ago or something I don't know man time flies when your getting shitfaced all the time. All we ever ate was dirt and like the occasional rock or pebble and we never got so large man.

Seriously its like they're pumping you guys with some kind of black magical water thing that explodes to make you grow real fast and go real quick like or something. Fucking mystifying man.

>>32242752
How is life better back then? Back then you either laid around all the time or got bashed against something, now you stand as tall as the sky itself, what are you complaining about?

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>>32242752
comeooooon old man.
i *know* you´re having fun at the riots.

>>32242752
Hey bro, sling here. We had loads of good times remember?

>>32242766
Barstool here. You sure hooked up with some tall, slender slut that one night.

Also broken glass bottle a shit.

>>32242813
>Just because you pretend to be a farming implement doesn't make it so
fuckin toolaboos

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>>32242068
Apologies. Cousins. Hard. Learning. English. At. Least. I. Attempted. Unlike. This. Glittering. Cheap.街娼.

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>>32242480

You think that was a drastic change? I was first everyone favorite tool for everything! Then people just wanted me to keep the rest of you from going dull or grinding grain.

It's not all bad, the kids still know how to use me.

>>32242595
Dammit what are you doing here? I don't know how many times I've told you to look where you going and you keep ramming into my back.

How in the fucking world are you two>>32242718,>>32242246 related to this shit smoking idiot>>32242820?

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>>32242572
Dad please tell me a story, please please please please please.

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>>32242846
You talkin' shit, fella? I'll fuckin' glass you, cunt.

>>32242788
>from the looks of it, she got on with spear and dagger as well
>that dirty whore
We already knew that though. But a goddamn gauntlet isn't even a weapon. That's just perverse.

>>32242861
Rock, stop bitching, you used to be used to bludgeon things, now you scrape skies, how many of the rest of us can say we do that?

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Yes, good, fight amongst yourselves. Berate and abandon Shield, what has she ever done for you?
No need to pay any attention to all those horse bows at your border, they are surely no threat.

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guys I'd seriously advise you to check up on your medical policies and see what they're allowed to do to keep you "combat relevant"

I never asked for this

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>>32242814
Fuck you righty. Think you're god damn high and mighty just because you're all dextrous and shit

>>32242863
Genetics are strange and wonderous

>>32242442
My sides are breaking the sound barrier right now.

>>32242887

Yeah but I miss the crushing stuff, now I only get lucky when I topple over and crush someone...

HEY DYNAMITE, WHERE YOU AT?

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>>32242877
Did I ever tell you about the 30 times I went to the olympics?

Also I've seen you about in civil unrest a lot lately, it warms my heart to see you following in your old man's footsteps.

>>32242887
Aw dude. Don't go there. You know rock and concrete ain't been on speaking terms for ages.

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>>32242902
Hey! I warned you! It's butt scratching duty for a week!

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RIP AND TEAR
RIP AND TEAR

THIS WORLD WAS MADE TO BURN
THIS FLESH WAS MADE TO BLEED
GIVE THE GODS THEIR DUE

RIP AND TEAR
RIP AND TEAR

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>>32242863
Western shovel is lazy capitalist, Glorious China Shovel can do all and more

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>>32242752
FEAR NOT, OLD FRIEND, FOR I HAVE FOUND YOUR TICKET BACK INTO THE WORLD OF WAR ATOP A LOCOMOTIVE OF DISTILLED TERROR! BEHOLD!

>>32242919
shame he aint gonna get any form of glorious job. can't light the olympic flame by lobbing a flamming bottle at it.

>>32242932

Oh, wow, man, totally scared, like wow. Hey look, is that musket?

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>>32242902
Pfft, whatever. They call me the 'dominant hand' for a reason, scrub.

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>>32242932
H-Hey... you look cool
...
wanna come to my LARP group this saturday?

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>>32242861
Holy shit man its my fucking best friend forever rock!

Remember the time where I dug you out of your hole, and then dug right back in another hole man? Yeah?

Or remember that time when like I was digging in the dirt for like more fucking digging and there you were? So I moved aside to get more dirt?

I keep finding you in large holes man, you probably have a fetish for them or something, I don't know man I don't judge that kind of shit(I fucking love shit by the way) among friends man.

Good fucking times man, I dug it real good.

>>32242922

MOTHER FUCKING CONCRETE! I'll tell you what, that smooth bastard thinks he's the best, but he's all show. Sure he's drowned a few people, but I'm tired of that asshole taking the spot light.

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>>32242919
Hey there pops. How's civvie life? Been to lots of juggling acts lately?

>>32242959
I would pay to watch that if someone had the balls to do it

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>>32242957
Nyuuup, yur banned mate

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>>32242923
>>32242968
Yeah, whatever. Better to irrigate the back yard than have to do righty's five finger shufle...

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>>32242915
Dynamite? Fuck that guy, he thinks he can come over and steal my job like that? Been working the mines for 3 god damn millenia and what do I get? A thanks for the serve and a transfer to the 'historical archives'

Back in my days we didn't need no stinkin' explosives to do our jobs, you'd bite into that rock with your own god given tip and rip out the ores

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>>32242970
WILL THERE BE BLOOD TO SPILL
FLESH TO TEAR
TEARS TO SHED
AND SCREAMS TO APPEASE THE BLOODY LUST OF GODS?
If so sure, I got nothing else going.

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>>32242981
It's not so bad. Not much work in the lighting business anymore what with that new-fangled bastard Lightbulb getting all the attention. I mostly do international sporting events these days.

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>none of you have even gone intergalactic
laughingquazars.tiff

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>>32242919
>>32242877
>>32242880
Oi there, whats all this about rioting? Moi Granpappy Club invioted me 'ere an...
>>32242994
Oh, 'ello Sir! Didn't expect me own boss to be ere, shall I get to bashing >>32242923 in now?

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>>32243025
I will tame you one day, you beautiful beast

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>>32242999
Hey, why don't you go play with Penis? I hear he's looking for something different.

Of course, you'll be nowhere near as good as me.

>>32242973

Man, I can't stay mad at you!

Totally, and then remember the time you get dynamite over and you get him nice and deep so he join in?

As for dirt....what happens in dirt, stays in the dirt.

Hey, anyway word from Pick-axe?

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>>32243038
Iiiiiiii'll allow it, get to work boy-o

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Attention Knife. We must speak at once. We are aware that you have violated the exclusion zone and removed anomalous artifacts. Come quietly and you will not be harmed.

>>32242687
OH MY GOD. That rumor about shield getting it on with armor's little brother is TRUE?!

GTFO to /ss/, shield you unethical slut!

>>32243010

Hey, whoa, no one could replace you. Dynamite is great some of the time, but when we need a real expert, we call in you.

I love you /tg/ thanks for making my ride to work fun.

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>>32242932
>>32243020
Bitch stop stealing my schtick.

>>32242978

Oh for fuck's sake, you idiots shit on shield because she went around a lot but I doubt any single one of you idiots stuck with only one. Look at cousin shield-gauntlet-knife-spear, everybody in the family is a slut. Even the Bow line got freaky with Steel and bolts! Arrow was deatroyed when she found out.

I don't see anybody shitting on nephew Black Powder. He goes around more than hand.

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None of ya would've ever gotten anywhere without me, I was a fooken legend. A FOOKEN LEGEND

>>32243128
It's funny because sandals go on the Ends of the Legs

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>>32243054
And why exactly would I envy being good at satisfying that needy prick?

>>32243143
;)

>>32243128

Yeah, right! Either you tripped over me, or got stuck, then foot would bitch and whine!

Tell foot to stop being a little bitch.

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>>32243067
Yes Sir! Hold still now, brain...


>>32242856
Hello uncle, sorry I don't have time to talk, I promise I'll visit you and dad in the old country soon, ok?

>>32243143
oh god, I can't fucking breathe.

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>>32243145
Dude, it makes brain go crazy and release all the good shit

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>>32243114
What the fuck did you just say, junior?

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>>32242970
Can I come too?

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>>32241123
Heyyy what've you been up to? Do you remember when we used to prank sword and spear's formations together? That was a blast.

Do you never call because I pounded you too hard those couple of times?

I miss you.

--Franc.

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Hey guys. Room for one more?

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>>32243189
>>32243114
Don't get him started, it will just end with him yelling at me for becoming a chef. AGAIN.

>>32242575
>Leather armour here, I can say that I was pretty upset when I lost my job, but the sex industry isn't that bad. Except the fact we aren't really children friendly anymore.

Should've gotten in on the sex industry when the greek city-states were still around then.

>>32243126
>mfw Shovel is the most faithful tool here and leads the most stable relationship out of all the weapons and tools that bitch and moan in this thread, he only goes out with hoe, is fucking zen as fuck, and is constantly doing what he loves doing.

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Oh it's wonderful to see a long lost friends and family getting together again.

Just to let you know, I was here long before any of you. You too rock, I did melt you down and let you reform into what you are now.

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my existence is suffering

>>32243301

The bottleneck on the family tree.

>>32243279

But--

Wait...

....


Holy fuck.

>>32243279
Did you miss the discussion of all his intoxicated trysts with saw?

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>>32243188
Heh, can't argue with that. Still, I'll let righty do all the work and just reap the rewards

>>32243279

Shovel had kids with Saw.

No, the real surprise here is Hoe herself. Backhoe is clearly the imaginatively named offspring of her and Shovel. I don't think she's been with anyone else but Shovel. In this soap operatic, incestuous mess of a family the one person whose name is actually slang for whore is the one person who doesn't sleep around at all.

>>32243301
You and yours can teach people about love.

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>>32243355
Goddamn you, Lefty. You're a freeloading bastard but you're still my brother.

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Fucking hell you guys

>>32243349
Saw kind of just took advantage of his oblivious nature, because no one wants to fuck Saw and shes kind of a psychotic bitch.

I doubt hoe or shovel even cares or remembers.

>>32243379
Dude, plow and trowel are both hoe's kids. And ain't got nothing to do with shovel apart from plows tendency to get shitfaced.

>>32243388
I heard you two have a hot date with Dick. Why don't either of you want to play any more?

Yours, forever,
Ass

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>>32243404
Do you remember when Saw tried to make it big in the music business? Fucking hell what a trainwreck.

oh god, some one save this thread! my sides are in orbit!

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>>32243388
Yeah, well, at least you don't have ass duty...

>>32243379

To be fair since we don't really have genetics incest doesn't even do much aside shape and maybe merallic leagues

But holy fuck, you are right. The stoners are rhe most morally sound.

I....need to lay down a bit.

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>>32243446
Brain'll probably forget and make me do it anyway. You know how he is.

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>>32241123
Hey skinny bitch, FUCK YOU. You don't deserve either of them! They'll never forget me.

Thick Pride, Rome-wide!

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>>32243388
Fuck both of you, acting so high and mighty and conspiring against us lowborn folk. Banding together now, eh? Not while I'm still standing. We've been carrying your load for long enough. We shan't be de-feet-ed!

>>32243355
Sinister, this is your mother, torso, speaking.

Why can't you be more like your brother? why do you have to be so lazy and unmotivated?
Dexterous is a hard worker, has a loving, stable relationship with penis, and has a long string of accomplishments. All you ever invent is selfish things for yourself like left-handed scissors and such.

Also, you never call. You should do that more often.

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>>32243491
Aw yeah nigga, yall tell it like it be

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>>32243501
Oh hey down there, haven't seen you guys in a while. I think we stepped in dog shit the other day, how was that for you?

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>>32243467
Yeah, he does get stuck in his ways. He also has a lot of work going on though, it's understandable

I don't think I need other boards anymore.

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>>32243555
I guess that's true. He talked to me about how he coordinates the heartbeat once, that shit's complicated.

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>>32243290
>>32242783
Pre-human weapons, represent!
Claws, how has it been? Remember scorpion? We need to do a teamup like that again.
Fire, we still on for that industrial job next week? I've been kinda busy in Syria but I'm about done so I don't think I need to reschedule.

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Hey, how'sss everybody doing!

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>>32243625
Poison, buddy! How you doing?

Me and teeth have got a pretty sweet thing going on right now, people say if we keep it up we might be the next talons and beak!

>>32243663
im trying to figure out exactly what the fuck that is but im drawing blanks.

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Jesus Effin' Christ, you really are a bunch of loosers. Have a pic of me posing with a famous german football player. Learn to roll like a fucking winner.

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>>32243663
Fucking poser. All show, no substance. People have started lumping me with you fake piece of shit, can you believe that? You don't know real pain. This mortal coil is suffering and darkness.

>>32243712
I'll give you the run down.
Two things in the end, sharpened spikes
All the spines, blades, facing out wards.
The skull in the snakes mouth has an itty bitty hidden knife on it.

As for name I'm pretty sure that whoever makes it calls it the "ophidian blade"

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>>32243756
Calm down dude, its like not fucking popularity contest or anything man holy shit dude.

Like seriously man, I might be shitfaced 120% of the time man, and maybe like sober for the remaining 15$ change, but even I remember when I had to dig your sorry ass out of the mud in some what you call it? Some noisy thing when people go to sleep and become dirt again and all the little tough shits like you come out to prove all big your breeches are? I don't know man my memories aren't that good and I just remember a lot of mud. Oh man I fucking love mud almost as much as I fucking dirt, which is dry mud or is mud wet dirt? Shit be cray crays man. How does that even fucking work? Fucking magic man.


But seriously dude listen to your old buddy shovel just fucking keep cool man and you'll get all the shit and street cred man.

>>32243852
>in the end your grave will be dug by the chillest weapon
>life is good
>carpe diem

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>>32243852
Oh my god did you dirty tramp actually try to talk to me right now? Disgusting. And stop being such a fucking whimp.
>keep cool man
Yeah fuck you, i'm not afraid to tell those wankers how it is. I'm a motherfucking beast of fire. Grow some damn balls, you shithead.

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>>32243921
Hehe. I like tiny gun, is funny to me

>>32241267
lol'd harder than I should

Zhuge nu here. Fuck machine-gun. That was MY thing. I remember when I was the only thing which could kill ten men in fifteen seconds. Fuck machine gun. Fuck chain gun, too. Image limit's reached as well. Probably Lasergun's fault. That guy's SO pleased he got that navy deal.

Please tell me someone saved this thread.

>>32242663
This turned up a while back.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bl9jhmpCYAA9Js7.jpg:large
Figures Crossbow would head to china when he felt down. They were always good to him.

>>32243683
>poision.jpg
Talons and beak?
That's certainly... A thing to aspire to...
Uh hey, listen, it's been great catching up but I have to re-apply my white phosphorus and get my depleted uranium outfit ready before my date with tank. I promise I'll call you... soon.

>>32244170
Geneva convention wants to speak to you...

>>32243625
>Pincer.jpg
Really? You're giving CLAW the credit, when he wasn't even involved?

Pen here. Sword is weak.

>>32244440
Pencil here. Git Gud.

Shit like this is why I love you, /tg/. Never change.

>>32242204
Oh man, I remember that time dagger got tossed and you and club covered the trenches with blood. Shit was metal as fuck.

>>32242701
Fucking wizards.

Archived.

>>32244855
You're doing the lord's work, Anon.

We are the diggers, the movers and the lifters although our job and duty is thankless and backbreaking we must endure for if we fail, no one else would succeed.

We scatter the earth, to divine its most precious secrets.We lift the earth so others may see the light. We quell the dirt and mud, to free our brethren of its burdens. We are the giants that stand tall, the excavators of our future and the grave makers of our past.

And we owe our thanks to grandfather Shovel. For he has engrossed us the simple love for our craft, shown us the meaning of strength and endurance to carry on with our duties no matter how heavy it weighs upon our shoulders, and the humility to persevere through all opposition, to avoid vanity and pride; the sins to our virtues.

We are the diggers, the lifters, and movers, we toil in the dark cold abyss of the earth, so others may bask in the light.

>>32243904
That actually made me smile a bit.

>>32242373
I appreciate you.

>>32244977
Praise be to Lugg, for he is chill.

Shame that sword and spear are still assmad

At least we got spear to rethink its life. Shield got all the hate

>>32243921
Man, you remember that one time way back in the crusades when you and cannonball did it with a brick? That was some weird-ass shit.

thank you /tg/. this made my day.

>>32244559
Man, you and eraser are just inseparable. The only time I haven't seen you two together is when you go golfing, and even then she's still there, just a bit less clingy. It must be nice to have such a loyal partner.

>>32245829
... Are you forgetting about sharpener?

>>32245893
Hey man, I never said you were the loyal one. I see you and crayon's love child all over the place these days.

>>32245910
Speaking of, how's charcoal holding up these days?