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... Until you motioned her to the door.

>>32649296
Ask what happened to your dog.

>>32649296
Finish in her eyes! It's her one weakness!

>>32649296
Pin her down and fuck her with a dildo.

>>32649296
Let her come closer then jump on her and use the sex toys on her.

The fuck's going on in here?

>>32649452
Art.

>>32649296
Turn on the Barry White!

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Rolled 2

Whoopsie, confused arms again.

>>32649354

Rolling for success

>>32649521

Is 1 or 2 success...?

>>32649552
I guess now we find out

>>32649552
>>32649567

I forgot to mention, because I thought it would of just rubbed on for now, that 1 means successful, 2 is failure

>>32649579

>2 is failure

FUDGEEEEEEEE!!!!!

>>32649579
>>32649590
I guess that means she uses the toys on us?

>>32649617
I think we wait and see?

>>32649617
win win situation really

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Oops!

>>32649710
SAVE US, NECKBEARD!

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"So you planned on using these on me?"
"Clever, but not too clever."

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"Shame the tables are gonna be turned, huh?"

>>32649739
"Truly a shame."

Wiggle your ass.

>>32649739
I NEED AN ADULT

>>32649739
Write "Elbereth" on your butt with something, that way demons can't enter it

>>32649739
With monotone voice while grinning widely: "Oh no. What are you going to do with those?"

>>32649727
"Clever but not too clever" is basically our motto.

>>32649739
Challenge her to the Sega Saturn! Either Bomberman or some form of pro-wrestling. Winner take all.

>>32649795
>Challenge her to the Sega Saturn! Either Bomberman or some form of pro-wrestling. Winner take all.

Let's do this.

>>32649834
Our wresting name with be Elbereth.

>>32649795
This is like the nerd equivalent of Devil Went Down to Georgia

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>>32649786

You do not have anything to write with.

>>32649788

>Oh no.
>What are you going to do with those?

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"Take a WILD GUESS!"

Woah ho something went up the poop chute~

>>32649795

With only one arm?

>>32649930
>>32649795
This, if we get a chance. Everyone knows devils can't resist a contest!

>>32649936
She has to tie one hand up, to make it fair. And kinkier.

>>32649930
CHALLENGE HER

>>32649930
Clench it with your butt and RULES OF NATURE her over you and out the window

>>32649999
Lol. I kind of agree with this.

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>>32649994

>W-wait! WAIT!
>I ch-challenge you to the Sega Saturn! Winner takes all.

"I accept. Name your game."

>Bomberman

"I see you're handicapped. We will do this one handed, HOWEVER.."
"We will also go by another handicap of my choice: We both will play with a dragon dildo up our asses."
"Sound fair?"

>>32650110
Getting weird but lets do it!

>>32650110
YES ABSOLUTELY

>>32650110
Let's Play!

>>32650110
Goddamn it, you nerds. You need to name the victory conditions. If we win she can't drain us anymore, we get to bang her normally whenever we want, and our dog is brought back from wherever he went. DEAL?

>>32650110
Wait try and trick her into taking a dildo that vibrates distractingly or something. We KNOW these dildoes! Homefield advantage!

>>32650160
When I say take all I mean all. Unless you have a different meaning?

>>32650110
"That's the only way I ever play! Deal!

>>32650110
"That's how ı normally play anyways!"

>>32650179
>>32650186
These guys get it.

>>32650198
I like this.
I can make all the troll suggestions I usually have to withhold, and it's just par for the course!

Does your dad know you do these things on his laptop?

bump

>>32650218
Welcome to Neckbeard Quest.

>>32654919
I can feel the Neckbeard overtaking me.

It is a good pain.

>>32650110

"Yes but we will use.... TWO dragon dildo in our asses!!!"

>>32656028
OOOOOOOH SNAP!

Teli, we miss you.

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>>32650134

>Let's play!

You unpack your TV, hook that up. Then you took out your sega saturn, hooked that up too.

You are the WHITE BOMBERMAN. The dotted spaces represent blocks. Trust me I am a visual genius.
Your move.

>>32659267
Place bomb at A6, B4. Retreat to A6, B1.

That's how Bomberman works, right? I've never played one of the top-down versions...

>>32659267
place bomb at A6 B1 then retreat to A6 B4

starting bomb blast radius is 2

pray that you hit an "extra bomb" item

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>>32659336

Your opponent left a bomb at B5,A2. She retreated to B7,A1.

Make your next move.

>>32659562
Drop a bomb at A4,B1 after grabbing the fire-up. Retreat behind corner again.

>>32659562
Intentionally throw, maybe the succubutt will go easy on you if you let her win

>>32659741
Seconding >>32659741

>>32659741
Do et.

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>>32659950

Black bomber picks up the nearest power up and leaves a bomb at B4,A2, retreating to B9,A2

>>32660152
fuck
I wish I had ever played this game so I knew what to do

>>32660152
plant bomb at a4 b4, wait at a6 b4

>>32660566
what we want to do, immediately after a5 b4 is destroyed, rush to b8 a2 and seal in black bomber

wait at b7 a1

>>32660152
While she's distracted by the game, run away.

>>32660152
UNPLUG HER CONTROLLER

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>>32660336

You regret not playing this game sooner so you'd have a slightest idea of knowing what you did.

All while the ridges of the dragon dildo bothers your prostate and furthers your arousal, your arousal making things harder for you to play the game.

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>>32660566

You plant your bomb at a4,b4-

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>>32660634

- And take advantage of the distracted demon to run away. This won't last, she'll notice you're gone soon.
You reach up to the thread elevator. Be quick, and pick a floor number! (Thread is 3 floors)

>>32660932
2!

>>32660932
Stay on this floor. She'll never suspect we never left!

>>32660932
Although I have no idea how bomberman works, I have absolute faith in /tg/'s ability to win somehow. While you're out, grab the remote control for her dragon dildo and activate it as a distraction. Return to play.

>>32660956
>>32660976
Send the elevator to the second floor, but instead of getting on it, go into your neighbor's post.

>>32661095
Sounds good, do it!

>>32661095

We should check if we can enter it before doing this trick

>>32661244
Any of our neighbors should do. At least ONE of them has to have forgotten to lock up for the night.

>>32660932
Take the dildo out!

>>32661939
no, leave it in.

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>>32660956
>>32660976

You set the elevator to floor 2. You have 5 posts left before the succubus takes notice of you being gone.

>>32661244
>>32661406

Pick a door to begin.

>>32662243
leave the dragon dildo in front of the elevator
pick the door of the guy whose arm we stole

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>>32662276

You feel relief as you pulled your dragon dildo out and left it in the elevator before it closed.

Neighbor 3A is locked. You have 4 posts left.

>>32662406
3f

>>32662406
>s you pulled your dragon dildo out and left it in the elevator before it closed.
Pee on one of the door as a decoy

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>>32662502

You pee on the elevator door.

>>32662454

It's locked. 3 posts left.

>>32662550
fuck!
3b

>>32662406
3e is the holy grail of /tg/. It shall be our salvation.

>>32662550
3e!

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>>32662576

It's unlocked. You hurry inside and shut the door behind you. 2 posts left until she starts looking for you. You can hear her shout about a 'no good bitch trying to run away'.

>>32662745
LOCK THE DOOR!

>>32662745
Pull out a bunch of coats and hide under them

>>32662767
this

>>32662745
lock the door
hide under the bed
cry silently for mommy

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>>32662798

You locked the post door. 1 post left.

>>32662906
Hide under the sink.

>>32662906
call the mods.

>>32662906
Take refuge in the bathroom.

>>32662906
Pretend to be a lamp.

>>32662981
This

>>32662906
Mix up some chloroform out of cleaning supplies.

>>32662906
Continue masturbating.

>>32662906
Write a note mentioning free cake for fiendish entities in apartment 4d.

>>32662955
>>32662981
>>32663017
>>32663025
>>32663045
>>32663093
>>32663133
>7 post in a row
>All odd.
>7 is an odd number.
It's a conspiracy!

>>32663133
This. Continue to clit-tease the succubutt.

>>32662981
Second.

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>>32663134

You find a nearby piece of paper and pen, and did your best in the dark.

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The thread doesn't even have a 4th floor.

But it's too late now.

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Her search begins now.

>>32663774
put your fist in your mouth and curl up in the closet

>>32663774
Jerk off and prepare for her arrival.

>>32663774
put your fist in your ass and curl up in the closet

>>32663842
...

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>>32663842

Slipping your only fist up your ass, you curled up in the closet.
So far, she probably took the bait. Better wait in here for a while longer before going out.

>>32664102

She's probably already in the closet with us.

>>32664102
Is it really YOUR fist up your arse?
Is it really YOUR arse that your fist is up into?

>>32664208
seconding this

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>>32664208

Yes. Yes it is really up your ass. You can't really move much in this position.

Do you want proof of your fist up your ass?

>>32664289
Moan, bitch.

>>32664289
Look behind you

>>32664289
Play the waiting game

>>32664289
>inb4 you're in her apartment

>>32664289
Paw around the closet for anything useful.

I wonder what Neckbeard is up to.

Does he even exist right now, this being a different save?

>>32664473
As it's a new game I'd assume he's just a mundane neckbeard at the moment.

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>>32664547
>As it's a new game I'd assume he's just a mundane neckbeard at the moment.
Unless the realities overlap...

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>>32664390

It looks like coats.

>>32664420

You wait, while curled up with a fist up your ass. You are in a state of arousal and tiredness, but your hornyness is keeping you awake.

>>32664462

You can't really do much while you're already pawing for cheek chocolate.

>>32664473
>>32664547

Characters from a different save are on automatic.

>>32664643
Rub cheek chocolate on the walls, once our hand is clean search the coat's pockets.

>>32664666
>7 even numbers
>5 6s
>4 and 2 add up to 6
>Total of 6 6s
>End of the post is 666
>3 is 6/2
Satan made this post.

>>32664756
God dammit, it's the illuminate.

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>>32664666

You free your fist from your anus and wiped whatever was on it on the closet walls.
You began searching through the coat pockets:

COAT 1:

35 monies
Pocket lint

COAT 2:

25 monies
A pack of mint gum

COAT 3:

75 monies
Egg vibrator
Tissue

>>32664844
>Take money
>Clean self up with tissue
>Chew gum.
>Steal vibe.

>>32664869
>>32664844
This, and also put on all three coats. Layers will protect us from the she-witch.

>>32664844
>Place all items on one coat
>Wear coat full of items.

>>32664915
We should also get a tophat

>>32664898
>>32664869
do this except wipe shit on your lip like a moustashe and when she finds you in the closet bluff her into thinking that your are just some fat mustachioed anon with a limp arm.

>>32664844
take all the loot

>>32665365
Is 4chan still kill?
test post I suppose, and a bump if it works.

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>>32664898
>>32665044

You prepare yourself. There is someone outside of the closet right now.

>>32665435
Attack it with the vibrator.

>>32665435
Soon! [We wait for now.]

>>32665428
Been down for a while, seems to be rolloercoastering at the moment.

>>32665435
chew gum more vigorously.

>>32665435
Recite holy scriptures to ward the she-witch away

>>32665596
>>32665464
So we're going to run out, with a vibrator, screaming "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not weep"

I like it.

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>>32665464
>>32665596

>THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
>I SHALL NOT WEEP

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BATTLE INSTIGATED

>>32666078
Shit my dad went the same way

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Your move, Anonymous.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP0bfi3Yhxs

>>32664643
>leaving beardstrosity on automatics
GUYS
GUYS I THINK WE FUCKED UP

>>32666091

Slap her with our dick!!!

>>32666091
Whip her with the vibrator like some sort of erotic Zoro! You've got the mustache and everything.

>>32666091
Special: Aroused Hammer Slam - Improved damaged the harder we get.

>>32666091
>>32666120, but use vibrator as a lasso.

>>32666091
im pretty sure that is just a regular cat girl, and not a rampaging suckabut.

we should apologize and ask for her assistance in demon slaying in the name of the emprah

>>32666165
and then fuck her?

>>32666165
we should calm her down first. A diplomacy attempt that ends with us being sliced into ribbons is a bad diplomacy attempt.

>>32666175
she aint an elf, but a cat is fine too

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Rolled 1

>>32666112
>>32666120
>>32666154

The die will decide your attack!

Arousal is making it hard for you to focus! Please wait for the next post roll.

Rolled 3

>>32666362

2 shall be the successful number.

>>32666091
Is that catgirl baker minion?

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She dodges just barely!

Her turn.

>>32666421
Perhaps. Yet another reason the end this farce

>>32666440

She rips of our dick!!!

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Rolled 42

???? uses SCRATCH!

Accumulating damage.
You are now bleeding.

>>32666421
probably another catgirl.
Given average life expectancy of female characters not named Charlotte in this quest (shut up, Yorick, you don't count) it's unlikely we'll see her again.

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It is now your turn.

>>32666472
>throw two coats at her
>jump out of the window using third coat as a parachute

>>32666472
Masturbate and use our healing juices.

>>32666472
>Scratch behind her ears

>>32666472
this is not the demon we are looking for. Her eyes are glowing the wrong colour and has cat ears.

That means she is a cat girl. That means you are attacking a poor innocent cat girl. You monster.

Rolled 3

>>32666472

Masturbate in front of her.

>>32666472
Rub face on ???, hope shit mustache inflicts status effects.

Use CP. Get the whole thread nuked. We have Auto-Proxy on, right?

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Rolled 3

>>32666482
>>32666490
>>32666494

Indecisive, rolling die

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>>32666494

This only enrages your enemy even more. She gets so mad, her attack power rises!

It is now her turn.

>>32666588
>>32666588
Blind her with a shot in the eyes.

>>32666588
Wipe shit mustache on her lips so she gets e-coli

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Rolled 84

(Forgot to mention you bled out 10 HP in the last post)

???? scratches you some more! Accumulating damage + 20

>>32666649
>84
rip anon

>>32666649
Well, we're fucked.

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You lose the loot you took from the closet.

This is what happens when you run away from your demon problems.

Dog is dead, anon is dead and the catgirls is probably dead when the demon comes in looking for anon.

Everything ded.

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You have fallen unconscious.

>>32666687
Wake up to Beardstrosity eating our totally legitimately acquired arm.

>>32666687
[x]genuflect, apologize prfusely, break down in tears, tell here there's evil demon chasing us in that order

>>32666721
Seconding.

>>32666721
yes this is good

>>32666701
>Keep erection

>>32666701
Awaken

>>32666721
>>32666733
>>32666757
>1
>3
>7
the one time we try to do something sensible for a change.

>>32666701
Become catgirl.

>>32666776
AIAIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

>>32666776
Scream about park demons who want to suck our soul like a madman.

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>>32666776

You woke up. Your face feels sore and your head feels fuzzy.

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>>32666806

Your screams are muffled.

Use the power of hours of continuous arousal to break out.

>>32666924
Look around the room. Find a tool to use.

>>32666909
Wiggle around.

>>32666982
I think anon is in the oven.

>>32667016
... No We Are The Oven!

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>>32666950

Well, you are aroused, but that hasn't freed you from your bindings.

>>32666982

All the useful tools are out of reach.

>>32667097
Bite through your bindings

>>32667097
Call upon your dead dog, maybe it became a demon, too.

>>32667146
But anon, all (non-demon) dogs go to heaven.

Summon celestial hound.

>>32667097
Summon the lake troll to free us.

>>32667097
Try to undo the ropes.

>>32667216
With our luck we summon bridge troll that demands that we piss in it's mouth.

>>32667097
Eat the gag.

>>32667216
Acquire instrument to perform death metal.

>>32667097
Panic?

Rolled 2

>>32667097

I roll 1d2 to see if we still got our legs.

>>32667097
Fucking cry because of how pathetic we are.

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>>32667146
>>32667216
>>32669648
>>32669786

You call out for your lost dog companion with shakespearian verses, all while biting down on your gag and descending into a total freak out.

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>>32670590

Then you broke out into tears because you are a hopeless pervert with a bleak future. That still is sporting a boner.

"Oh, you're awake already."

>>32671604
No, just pretending.

She won't be able to understand us because of the gag but it will make us feel better to be a snide asshole.

>>32671604

Start looking at her with confused look... Because she is not the demon girl.

>>32671604
I'M SORRY
A DEMON WAS CHASING ME
SHE TRIED TO FUCK MY SOUL OUT
AND YES, DEMONS DO EXIST
>after short contemplation
AND YES, SOMEONE -WAS- WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME

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>>32671624

"... Right. Anyway, I got us coffee. If I ungag you, will you behave?"

>>32671785
We'll behave in exchange for coffee.

>>32671785

For once we should at least behave us except for our boner...

>>32671785
>Coffee
Fine we'll be good

>>32671785
>won't kill us
>won't maim us
>will ungag us
>got coffee
so, where's the catch?

>>32671777
Over coffee, say this.
But with less caps.

>>32671785
Nod.

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>>32671830
>>32671878
>>32671904
>>32671920

She loosens your neck bindings and frees you of your gag.

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"Now tell me."
"What were you doing in my post last night. And why was there shit smeared on my closet wall and on your upper lip?"

>>32672035
Hiding from a rapist

>>32672035
We were fleeing from a vile succubus! It raped us in the woods and then snuck into our post and made us play video games with dildos. The shit was merely a clever disguise designed to conceal our manly stench.

>>32672035
I was running away from a demon who wanted to suck my soul. I hid in your closet and shat myself.

>>32672035
Ask her where our coffee is.

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>>32672048
>>32672058

"I understand that, seeing that this is 4chan."

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"But what why did you try to cockslap and then masturbate in front of me, since you were running from a succubus rapist?"

>>32672118
HOLY SHIT, WHY DID YOU CUT OFF MY ARM?!?

>>32672130

Haha, this.

>>32672129
We panicked. Sexual combat seemed the only reasonable solution.

>>32672129
I mistook you for her, and how else would you fight a succubus?

>>32672129

"I mistook you for succubus rapist... It is not easy to see in the darkness if you don't have darkvision..."

>>32672035
[Tears] ... [just cry] I'm hiding from a hell spawn. That is trying to rape me and steal my soul.

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>>32672150
>>32672242

>Well, you see.
>I panicked, and it was dark. I confused you for the succubus.
>And since I wasn't thinking thoroughly, Sexual combat seemed-

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>>32672130

>HOLY SHIT
>WHY DID YOU CUT OFF MY ARM?!?

"I didn't, asshole. It's just tied behind you."

>>32672570
Good, that's my second favorite one

>>32672570
Can I have coffee yet?

>>32672570
n-no need to be rude :(

>>32672570
Ah, Well that's good. You wouldn't know any one that can make me another would one? The succubus stole the right one from me.

>>32672570

Puh! Good.... By the way, sorry for breaking in your post and stealing your stuff...

We should ask her if she knows how to banish demons.

Why does the catgirl look like Nepeta?

>>32672934
Nepeta looks like all catgirls.

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>>32672600
>>32672608
>>32672684

>Puh!
>Good... That was my second favorite one.

>And.. Sorry for breaking into your post and stuff..

>... Can I have coffee yet?

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"Here."
"And I'm not letting you off the hook just yet... But if you be nice and stay quiet while I work, your punishment won't be so rough."

She puts the cup up to your lips, tipping it so coffee would flow to your mouth.

Lets not antagonize our new friend, shall we? Appologize for our intrusion and for the mess we made, then offer to clean the shit off her walls.

>>32673456
whuh-what kind of punishment?

>>32673456
mmm coffee. So What do you do?

>>32673456
What did you say your name was? Wait punishment?

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>>32673502

>mmm coffee.
>So what do you- whuh

>Wait
>Punishment?

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"Do you think I'm going to let you scott free? No."

>What kind of punishment?

"You'll see."

>Atleast tell me yourMMMPH

"Not right now, I have to start work."

Be the cat baker?

>>32673730
Sure

>>32673730
Wait, the same one the beardstrocity met?

Sure, why not.

>>32673745
Reroll

>>32673755
Probably. Same universe new game and all.

>>32673730
yeah lets do this, lets bake us some motherfucking cats.

>>32673730

Wait patiently for her. Spend most of time to put record how far we can keep up our boner up.

>>32673730
Break free when she is gone and clean the place up.

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Used my spare time to edit this image.

>>32673956
Lol.

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You are now the catgirl baker.

>>32674359
Bake a pretty cake, it's a piece of cake.

>>32674359
Nyaa~
Then open the shop.

>>32674359
Reflect on how happy you are to have a job that you enjoy doing.

>>32674370
>>32674397
These.

>>32674359
Activate vibrator.

>>32674359
check on cat stock to make sure you have enough cats for today, but make sure you don't have too much for a catsplosion to happen.

>>32674359
Summon[Bake] kitten muffins.

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>>32674359

Bake a Princess Cake!!!

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>>32674489
>Kitten muffins
No, kitten cupcakes.
Those bitches will sell like cah-ray-zee~

>>32674359
Remove pants. No one will notice while you're behind the counter!

>playing as a slim neckbeard

talk about wish fullfillment in roleplay

>>32674661
Her co-workers would.

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>>32674710

Her co-worker is this guy

>>32674692
Well.
We're a catgirl now.

You're still right about the wish fulfillment thing, though.

>>32674692
We aren't Neckbeard right now, though. Dude's busy collecting souls and furthering his grim, bearded agenda.

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Bake pretty princess kitten cupcakes?

BRILLIANT IDEA!

Let's start on what flavor of cupcakes we want.

>>32675592
Chicken

>>32675592
Lemon.

>>32675592

Vanilla cream.

Shit... Now I want to eat a cake...

>>32675620
>>32675622
Lemongrass chicken?

>>32675620
>>32675622
Lemon chicken, delicious!

>>32675592
Werewolf

>>32675592
Breastmilk

>>32675592
Joy.

>>32675910
Breastmilk and cum cake.

>>32675592
Unyielding Sadness

>>32675647
>>32675622
These two.

>>32675920
>>32675964
This should be an odd thing.

>>32675620
>>32675964
I don't think those would sell well.

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Rolled 3

>>32675620
>>32675622

1. Lemon Chicken

>>32675716

2. Werewolf meat

>>32675910

3. Breastmilk
You aren't lactating, so you'll need a volunteer.

>>32675920

4. Joy

>>32675964

5. Unyielding sadness

>>32675970

6. Lemon and Vanilla

>>32675620
I'm with this guy.

>>32676042
3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3

>>32676042
>3. Breastmilk
hmmm
Lets go to the nearest hospital.

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>>32676042

>Rolled 3

That will be fun...

Search for cow girl or buy one of those breast pump.

>>32676042
Well, do we even have a volunteer? If not the. Just default to whatever flavors we have on hand.

>>32676124
>the. Just
then just

>>32676042
2 then. Breastmilk might be dicey at this time of day

>>32676042
2. Werewolves are in this season.

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You do not have any breastmilk in stock. Convenience and Grocery stores might sell them.

>>32676100

Cow girls are dry this time of year, aren't they?

>>32676124

Your default flavors are:

Lemon
Yellow
White
Chocolate
Red velvet
Rum
Cum

>>32676154

Werewolf meat doesn't sell outside of /x/, and is only available around Halloween.

>>32676209
Cum flavored, then. Sex sells.

>>32676209
Velvet rum cum. Slogan: like being raped softly by a gentle pirate.

>>32676209
>Your default flavors are:

>Lemon
>Yellow
>White
>Chocolate
>Red velvet
>Rum
>Cum

Here's an idea; make six of each. There is no need to limit yourself.

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>>32676240
>>32676258

You decided to make velvet rum cum. You prepare both wet and dry ingredients on the table.

Okay, /tg/, can you do better than mama?

>>32676389
Fuck yes we can!

>>32676389
Mama never baked these.

>>32676389
We are an Artiste and the bowl is our canvas.

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>>32676389

>>32676389
Wait a second.
Is that cum in a honeypot?

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>>32676465
>McAfee

>>32676389
I guess preheat the oven? Sample the, um, hm. Make sure the rum is good.

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>>32676258
>raped
ravished, you unromantic fool. Don't you ever read books?

>>32676630
Seconding. "Like being ravished softly by a gentle pirate." Wait, gentle kills it. "Like being ravished softly by a pirate scoundrel."