>>33633138
>[]”Hit me.”
>[]Write-in.
"You're about to bust." Grin.

>>33633138
>[]”Hit me.”

>>33633138
[X] "Hit me."

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

>>33633138
>[]”Hit me.”

Rolled 8

>>33633211
Hrrmm...

File: 1402194197439.png (193 KB, 388x338)

193 KB PNG

[X]”Pass.” The Petty Officer from World War II is bluffing.

Our odds at the draw aren't that great anyways.

>>33633138
>[]”Hit me.”

>>33633138
>”Hit me.”

>>33633138
>[]”Hit me.”
If this fails then engage table flip mode.

File: 1397850386270.png (244 KB, 264x424)

244 KB PNG

[X] If we fail, flip the table as dramatically as possible and fall to our knees while shouting NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO with intonation and pitch like we're screaming it out, but at a tolerable, indoor volume, head thrown back, arms flung wide, FULL FUCKING MONTY.

Hold it for as long as we can.

File: Mari Illustrious Makinami.png (241 KB, 351x1000)

241 KB PNG

>

“Hit me,” you tell Mari with the biggest shit eating grin you can muster. The old man's eyebrows go up, and you know it's going to be a Jack. You can feel it in your bones. He settles back into his chair, cigarette dangling from his lips as well, and stares you down as you slowly flip over the card Mari slid across the table to you.

“Well shit,” you say sadly as the grim face of a King stares up at you, sword held in his little card-King hands. Genuine Cuban cigars, grown in the mountains of Cuba after Second Impact. It's a miracle tobacco even grows still in Virginia and North Carolina and Turkey.

“Hahahahaha,” the old bastard cackles, and you feel a small part of your heart and soul shrivel and die.

“Fuck,” you declare to the King and eleven on the table, and the old man falls over laughing at your rotten luck when it really mattered.

“Tough luck, Special Agent, “ Mari tells you, scooting her chair closer. “So, since we're stuck on a ship for the foreseeable future,” she starts to wheedle. You stand abruptly, shove the cigars at the Petty Officer, and turn to the Gunner's mate.

“SO,” you tell him. “You were going to show me the armory.”

“N-” Your emphatic nods cut him off, and he stands as well. “Yeah! I was going to show the Special Agent the armory, Petty Officer. Is that okay with you?”

The Petty Officer looks from between you to Mari. His eyes widen slowly. Then he gives you a wink.

“Absolutely,” he blesses you. “Why don't I show the girl here where we keep the 'special equipment,'” he emphasizes the last two words. The force of Mari's puppy dog eyes are enough to break stone. But you're harder than stone, aren't you?

[]”Go with the nice man, Mari.”
[]”Fiiiiiiiine but you're to STAY QUIET.”
[]Write-in.

So how long until Mari starts hitting on us again?

>>33633622
>[]Write-in.
"Lets go then Mari"

>>33633622
>[]”Go with the nice man, Mari.”

>>33633622
>Nope, we're weaker than grass

>>33633622
>[]”Fiiiiiiiine
I don't like the sound of that guy's "Special equipment"
Like, really don't.

>>33633645
This, the last two words being emphasized was too suspicious.

>>33633622
Aren't all face cards worth 10 in blackjack?
>[X]”Fiiiiiiiine but you're to STAY QUIET.”

>>33633622
Isn't a Queen or a King valued the same as a 10?
Or is this a different rule-set for Blackjack?

>[]”Fiiiiiiiine but you're to STAY QUIET.”
She got over that incident with Smith pretty quick.

>>33633645
This.
Being serious of course

>>33633706
>>33633713

I haven't played blackjack since high school and even then we were playing for gum. I honestly couldn't tell you.

>>33633622
>>33633645

>>33633622
>[]”Fiiiiiiiine but you're to STAY QUIET.”
The words 'special equipment' sound like they could be highly problematic to us in the very near future.

>>33633733
While i doubt it's relevant and I'm not going to be demanding a rewrite, we had 21 and those cigars were ours.

>>33633713
>>33633706
>>33633733
In standard blackjack rules all face cards are indeed worth 10.

>>33633645
This.

>>33633792
Normally, I would let this go, but fun cigars are at stake. We need to share the wonder that is a fine cigar with Shinji.

>>33633891
We're not telling Mari she can't smoke and then giving Shinji a fucking Cuban.

>>33633930
We already forbade Mari from drinking after having given Shinji a glass of wine and promised him beers.
Anon has a very short term memory and is inconsistent.

When are we actually going to spend some time with Mari, if only to set the record straight that we're not into 14 year old /k/ommandos?

>>33633930
Well, fuck. You're right, cigars for all the kids, I guess. After an angel gets whacked.

>>33633971
Did we do that?

I remember her asking us to get her a beer and I know we didn't but I thought it was more of a "get it yourself" kind of thing.

>>33633976
Never, dude. This is Evangelion. Passive-aggressive rejection is literally what fuels the children that drive the giant robots.

>>33634165
I might be wrong actually, I can only find the scene where she wants to smoke a cig and we won't let her.
Inconsistent memory indeed.

>

You grind your teeth. You clench your fists. Your urge to strangle something resembling a puppy intensifies. “Fine,” you bite out. “But you better stay quiet. And I don't want you TOUCHING anything,” you add. “I don't want you shooting yourself in the eye.” She looks at you like you're an idiot.

“C'mon. I'm not that stupid, thanks.”

“Well, you're fourteen. When I was fourteen I was busy doing stupid shit all the time.” John grins at you, and then begins leading the way to the armory.

“And that's the difference between us,” Mari declares in triumph. “I am highly intelligent, an officer, and a gentlewoman. You were an enlisted blighter and a shame to the King's service.”

You look at her with a gimlet eye. Hard. She swallows and falls back behind you, feet scuffing the floor.

“So I was talking to someone,” she tries to start.

“If it's that internet thing you're always talking about how is it relevant to me?”

“They said there's no way to kill a T-72 with a frag grenade, like you told that Petty Officer you did.”

“There is if you drop it in the hatch,” you tell her quietly. The Gunner's mate looks back at you like you're nuts. “I was young and stupid,” you tell him with a shrug.

“Amen to that,” he says, and leads the two of you into the armory. Mari instantly starts talking his ear off, and you regret bringing her along.

Your phone dings. It's an email from Captain Karling, the disgusting Internal Affairs puke put in charge of Section Two in Tokyo-3. The too long, didn't read version of it is: Well done in Nevada, begin making best time to Japan with the Fourth and Unit-04, maintain security.

(1/2)

Well thanks for that, Captain fucking Obvious. Your phone dings again. This time it's an email from the Subcommander. Congratulations on surviving Nevada, well done on foiling the sabotage, the Commander will consider your request.

[]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.
[]Ignore them, for now. That Gunner's Mate needs help.
[]Write-in.

>>33634322
>[]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.
Gives us something to do.

>>33634305
>[x]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.
Make the one to the SubCommander sound honest.

>>33634322
>[X]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.

>>33634322
Ignore them. There isn't anything to respond to.

>>33634322
>Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.

>>33634322
>>[x]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.

>>33634322
>[]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.
>[]Write-in. Send Ikari a query about any way to be more effective with Angels instead of just sitting around jacking off a rifle.

>>33634322
>[]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.
>Don't attract attention. If we're lucky she'll keep talking to him forever and forget about us entirely.

Can someone remind me what Cryan requested of the Commander?

>>33634476
A way to be more effective against the Angels instead of sitting around jerking off with a rifle.

File: That boy aint right.png (284 KB, 436x400)

284 KB PNG

Given how often Cryan seems to find himself comatose in the hospital and how much Mari seems to like him, how long until this infamous scene repeats itself?

>>33633733
Other people have said it, but yeah, we would've had a 21. If you're on an 11 or lower there's literally no way to bust.

>>33634322
[]Ignore them, for now. That Gunner's Mate needs help.
Save the poor man

[X]Shoot them both an email thanking them for their praise.

Let him taste a moment - just a moment - of our reality. Our hell.

Can we just say that they were playing a game with custom house rules?

>>33634570
Mari masturbating to a comatose Cryan?

This is highly likely...

>>33634759
Pretty much what Tang was probably thinking. Go with that.

>>33634759
We could just retcon it to having a 12 and then getting a face card.

>>33634570
whyboner

>>33634570
How can we prevent this other then using mines

>>33634776
Fucking this. Had I been here for the post I'd have called bullshit right away, but busting from a 12 or a 13 happens all the damn time.

>>33634759
No. Blackjack is so fucking simple that the notion of "houseruling" anything is stupid.

>>33634766
>Mari masturbating to a comatose Cryan
You have an extra 'to' in there.

>>33634570
We were strangely naked after getting shot by that fake janitor and Mari was in the room...

>>33634861
Where is the extra too?

I admit to missing out an 'o', but that's all.

File: wcMIJLZ.jpg (86 KB, 1200x787)

86 KB JPG

>

You send Captain Karling a brief “thanks for the praise” email and don't add 'cunt' at the end like you want to. Then you send one to Subcommander Fuyutsuki one, and add “Seriously. If there's a way for me to fight the Angels without putting the kids at risk, put me in, coach.”

Those sent off, you look at Mari. She's fondling an M4A1 in ways that shouldn't be legal for people to do with weapons. John seems distressed at the drool you're both pretty sure she's emitting over being able to handle a fully automatic rifle that isn't Evangelion sized.

“Special Agent,” she rounds on you suddenly. “Did you ever use one of these?”

“Yes. Several times. It's good for up to five hundred meters or so. Most engagements took place inside that, so it worked when I needed it to which is really all a good rifle is supposed to do.”

“Yes but these have a 1:6 twist rate. Did you use anything different?”

“Uh,” you respond blankly. You were a shooter, not an armorer. You say as much.

“So you're saying you didn't particularly care about the barrel twist rate?”

[]”No? I don't know, shit, I left that up to the armorers.”
[]”Yes? But only on things I was intimately acquainted with, like an SR-25 or some such.”
[]Write-in.

>>33634938
>[x]”Yes? But only on things I was intimately acquainted with, like an SR-25 or some such.”

>>33634938
>[]Write in.
I really didn't give a fuck about it. The rifle killed what I wanted and that's all that mattered.

>>33634938
>[]”No? I don't know, shit, I left that up to the armorers.”
>[]Write-in. "Don't go full gun nut on me, girl. That's more worrying than you might think attractive. I just shoot people."

>>33633138
>88
Fuck yeah, 88

>>33634938
>[]”No? I don't know, shit, I left that up to the armorers.”
"As long as the other bloke died when I wanted, s'good enough."

>>33635000
This, and the trips don't lie...

>>33634938
>[]Write-in. (Light head bop, all slapstick like.)

And these even more so >>33635000 >>33635012

>>33634938
>Write in
"Eh, I'm sure I have at some point. The CQB receiver was a 1:7. Barely noticed the difference."

>>33634938
As someone who knows fuckall about guns, can someone tell me what the twist rate of a weapon is?

>>33635214
"Rifling is often described by its twist rate, which indicates the distance the rifling takes to complete one full revolution, such as "1 turn in 10 inches" (1:10 inches), or "1 turn in 254 mm" (1:254 mm). A shorter distance indicates a "faster" twist, meaning that for a given velocity the projectile will be rotating at a higher spin rate."

>>33635245
I assume the higher the rotational velocity of a given projectile the more penetration it'll achieve, or something along those lines?

This quest is making me want to into /k/ and I don't know where to begin.

>>33635214
The inside of the barrel has these little spiraled grooves called rifling, and the twist rate is simply how tight the twist on those grooves is, which in turn affects how the bullet is stabilized.

Different twists can lead to different expected accuracy based on how heavy a projectile you use, especially at longer ranges. Generally you don't need to worry about it unless you want sub-MoA accuracy: or a spread of less than 1 inch per 100 yard increment.

>>33634938
>[]Write-in.
Nope. I just used what I was given to kill who I was told to kill.

>>33635316
See >>33635358

77gr projectile, 16in barrel, 1:8 twist is my preference. Though as I've said, unless you want sub-MoA beyond 500 yards, it's not particularly important.

File: Makinami.Mari.Illustrious(...).jpg (330 KB, 708x1030)

330 KB JPG

>

You look at her. Then you bop her upside head. “Shit, I didn't really care. As long as the rifle point and shot when I wanted it to, I didn't concern myself with it. The CQB receiver had a 1:7, though, Being a gun nut is more worrying than attractive, honestly.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrows rise. You shouldn't have said that. You shouldn't have sai- “What DO you find attractive, Special Agent?” She sidles up to you, the M4 and gunner's mate forgotten as she smells blood in the water.

“Not a fourteen year old girl,” you tell her. And just like that, her hopes and dreams are shattered. Her face falls, her eyes tear up, and she flees the room, leaving you alone with a violated M4, a traumatized gunner's mate, and the desire to punch something.

“God fucking damn it,” you swear. The mate looks at you, then at the door.

“If I were,” he begins, “I'd go after her. She might be fourteen, but she probably needs a friend that isn't on the Internet.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” you snarl at him, and leave him standing. You could go after Mari. But that might reinforce this stupid crush she has on you, and that would be for the worse. Or you could be a callous sod and go find somewhere to have a smoke and a drink.

[]Go after Mari.
[]Go have a smoke and a drink.
[]Write-in.

>>33635316
My suggestion? Just go lurk /k/ for a bit, read the articles Wikipedia has about weapons that have piqued your interest, and above all- enjoy your right to bear arms.

>>33635147

this this this this this this this this this

>>33635494
>[]Go after Mari.

Fark

>>33635494
>[X] Go after Mari.

Yep, the smoke and drink can wait 'til she's been calmed down.

>>33635494
>[X]Go after Mari.
We may be a grizzled, curmudgeonly sourpuss but we're still chivalric at heart, at least from what I've seen of Cryan so far.

File: well-that-escalated-quickly.jpg (66 KB, 400x210)

66 KB JPG

>>33635494
>And just like that, her hopes and dreams are shattered.
Pic related.
>[x]Go after Mari.
God fucking damn it Mari.

>>33635494
[]Go after Mari.
Do something to cheer her up, buy her a beer or something

>>33635494
>[]Go after Mari. "This is why I drink."

>>33635494
>[X] Go after Mari.
Gotta get that anime pussy.

>>33635494
>[]Go after Mari.

>>33635494
>[x]Go after Mari.
God damn it we're exacerbating the 14 year old's complexes. Try to cheer her up.
Note: It is a bad idea to put the penis in the Mari.
Putting encouragement, friendship, sanity and teamwork in the Mari are all fine.
But none of the penis.

>>33635494
>[X]Go after Mari.

>>33635494
>Go after Mari.
What's the worst that could happen?

>>33635593
Shinji's might work.

>>33635494
>>[]Go after Mari.
We can teach her to shoot, like we taught Shinji.
Then we can teach Rei and the rest of the pilots and turn them into proper operators. Angels won't stand a chance.

Captcha: defiling ntsswed
No captcha, we're not defiling a 14 year old girl. Though she might defile us.

>>33635494
>[]Go after Mari.
...dammit.

>>33635316
MY suggestion? First step is give up any notion that you know anything about guns. Take safety courses. Learn how to shoot from a professional instructor, or at least a friend with honest-to-God training. If you end up taking lessons, do a little research and find a place near where you live that's more or less respectable.

A gun is a tool: a very dangerous tool that demands to be treated seriously at all times. If you want to exercise that "right", you'd better damn well treat it like a responsibility, or you'll just be a danger to yourself and everyone around you.

/srsbsns

File: 458-god-wills-it-cat.jpg (71 KB, 500x600)

71 KB JPG

>>33635617
>what's the worst that could happen

>>33635649

Shinji can go and bang both Mari and Asuka.

Then again, I doubt he has the stones to go after both.

>>33635676
Confirm your targets before you move your finger to the trigger.

>>33635701
Nonsense, 5701. He has two stones. That's enough for one girl each.

>>33635691
Oh boy, yandere Mari time.

File: 1391658537533.png (72 KB, 250x250)

72 KB PNG

>>33635494
>[x]Go after Mari.

>>33635691
GUYS THE QM IS DOING IT AGAIN

>>33635701
>implying he has the balls to fuck anyone and won't spaghetti everywhere

>>33635701
>>33635730
What about Rei? Or Mana?
We can't be throwing Shinji to the lionesses while he only has the power to handle two!

File: 1393436779833.png (15 KB, 290x290)

15 KB PNG

>>33635756

They grow up so fast, don't they?

>>33635775
As far as I can tell, Rei does not have a sex drive and Mana is teh lezbos.

File: 1405471650211.jpg (13 KB, 271x240)

13 KB JPG

>>33635745
>>33635802

File: Gendo Cat.png (108 KB, 268x265)

108 KB PNG

>>33635731
>yandere Mari
>yandere who can use an EVA
All of my nope.
>>33635701
>Can't do it.
NOT WITHOUT OUR HELP (or a large amount of alcohol)

>>33635773
the hope is he'll gain enough confidence by hanging with us long enough that he'll actually reciprocate with asuka.

Lets just have Shinji go after Rei, like he fucking wants to since this is NGE and Asuka's a bitch who doesn't like him.

And who cares? Come on, Mari is pretty, she's cool, and she helps. Lets get on with her in the non-kaji way.

File: itsgenetic.jpg (102 KB, 600x300)

102 KB JPG

>>33635756
>>33635802
>>33635814

File: 1405047931106.jpg (34 KB, 354x500)

34 KB JPG

>>33635816
>wrong pic.
I have failed you /tg/.

>>33635845
are you sure you watched NGE

>>33635809
>Rei does not have a sex drive
She has an Ikari drive, which in this case is close enough
>Mana is teh lezbos
That's Maya, anon.

>>33635881
God damn it I get everyone confused.

>>33635802
SWQ when?

>>33635924
Never, anon. Let it go. You must settle for GermanSchteel's panty decisions taking up the bulk of a discussion.

File: 1362670538302.jpg (31 KB, 426x462)

31 KB JPG

>>33635924

File: SC04Complete.png (35 KB, 199x588)

35 KB PNG

>Go after Mari.

Your fist smashes into the bulkhead beside you, and you wonder what you did to make God hate you so. Probably the second girlfriend and the “I'm not marrying you, love, it's me, not you” spiel you fed her. She was great in the sack, really, but not wife material. 'Don't stick your dick in crazy', the Sergeant Major had told you when he met her. 'It'll bite you on the ass,' he said.

But you didn't listen. You could have prevented that, and you're fairly certain you could have prevented this. But it's happening, too fast for you to stop.

“God damn it,” you repeat with more vehemence. It feels good. So you light up a smoke and swear again as you begin stalking the super carrier USS Taffy Three, searching for a fourteen year old girl that had been doing gymnastics for six years.
It proves difficult. In fact, it proves nigh impossible. There's so many fucking places for her to hide. So you find your way to the flight deck and crush out your cigarette, because 'muh jet fuel', as one sailor put it to you. Evangelion Unit-04 is shoved up against the superstructure, out of the way of flight operations, and covered with a tarp. You pad your way across the deck, thankful there are no flight ops to worsen your tinnitus, and hear a sniffle coming from underneath the tarp.

Jesus. Why didn't you look here first? Because you're a cunt, a helpful part of your mind tells you.

“I just don't want to be left alone like when Daddy and uncle go,” she's te- is she talking to the fucking cyborg? Apparently she's talking to the fucking cyborg.

[]Listen in. This could be valuable.
[]Interrupt her talking to the cyborg. Which can't be healthy. At all.
[]Write-in.

We should atleast tell Mari that she MIGHT have a chance when she's older. even though we won't live long enough for that

>>33636117
>Write in
Start shouting "Mari! Mari! Where are you? Please, don't leave me alone!"

>>33636144
This should work, make it seem as if we're searching though.

>>33636117
>Write-in.
Hug that bitch.

>>33636117
>[]Interrupt her talking to the cyborg. Which can't be healthy. At all.
Sit down by the tarp.
"Nobody's going anywhere just yet, lass."

>>33636117
[]Interrupt her talking to the cyborg. Which can't be healthy. At all.
Get her talking to us and tell her we won't leave her alone and we've got her back

>>33636117
>[X] Listen in. This could be valuable.

And then interrupt in a timely fashion.

File: paulcon_1.png (168 KB, 512x342)

168 KB PNG

>>33636117
>you could have prevented this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_m1owwrh54

>>33636117
>[]Listen in. This could be valuable.

>>33636224
This

File: 1399592770452.jpg (45 KB, 420x229)

45 KB JPG

>>33636117
>[X]Listen in. This could be valuable.

Listen very carefully. Let her pour out her fears to the cyborg while we sloooowly sneak around behind the robot and climb atop it. And then, once she seems to be slowing down with the whole outpouring of misery, offer "consolation."

"BEEP BOOP. THIS UNIT WILL TEACH MARI THE SECRETS OF THE MALE MIND. BOOP BEEP. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEDUCE ANY MAN YOU WISH, SQUIDDLE PING."

>>33636117
>[]Listen in. This could be valuable.

>>33636144
This.

Combine with >>33636219
When she jumps out

>>33636117
> Listen in

Guys she's gonna find out and hate us for it you know

>>33636281
This will work, hopefully.

>>33636117
>Listen in

Clearly the worst option but muh curiosity, it burns like muh jet fuel

>>33636281
This this this

>>33636248
tfw I made that pic in preparation of 3.33

tfw it turned out true for me

it's over ;_;

>>33636117
Tell her "We've all been there, since second impact..."

>>33636281
Yeah, this is the Mariest option
So this

>>33636264

THIS. Its effectively the same as >>33636244 just with more direction.

>>33636281
Going with this

>>33636281
nthing this.

>>33636281
>>33636117
This like hell.

>>33636117
[]Interrupt her talking to the cyborg. Which can't be healthy. At all.

>>33636281
Mari route now.
Like, seriously, hug her to shit.
Say we weren't being serious

>>33636446
I think that's going a little too far/

>>33636469
Fuck off man.
Mari whyfoo time

>>33636446
Ease up with the waifuing. Enjoy the story.

>>33636281
This.
Hug her clothes off.

>>33636446
Maybe not that far, but we should probably appologize for what we said.

>>33636446
>>33636503
>>33636530
No. No waifuing. Bad anon. Go sit in the corner.

>>33636446
No fucking the children, tell her to wait till she's 18 and to show up at our door wearing nothing but a bow around her neck.

>>33636264
This is too amazing not to use. And it's more in character than >>33636264.

>>33636117
>[]Listen in. This could be valuable.
[]Write-in. "Mari, you here?" after a while.

>>33636561
Or just wait until we're unconscious in the hospital.

>>33636562
More in character than "Where are you please I'm a lost and helpless little boy", even really nice samefagging by the way guys really appreciate that shit

File: 1382467788084.png (141 KB, 500x448)

141 KB PNG

>>33636604
>samefag

waifuwars

WAIFUWARS NEVER CHANGE

>>33636562
>>33636604
Did you just disregard our votes?
>Implying people were samefagging

>>33636604
Perhaps a number vote?
I'd like to see how abysmally the dozy searching does in comparison to before.

>>33636557
This.

Everyone know waifuing Rei is the only way to go.

>>33636655
>Implying they weren't.

>>33636562
>amazing
No it's not.

>>33636644
Kinda helps that Tang does not have nearly enough voters to suddenly jump on the same write-in.

>>33636604
>Where are you please I'm a lost and helpless little boy",
Who the fuck was voting for that?
This >>33636281 was for feigning we didn't hear her, and simply calling out her name as if we were searching for her, then hugging her when she appeared, don't see how that's out of character.

>>33636562
No, that spuds like a completely asshole like move, especially when Mari is like this.

>>33636674
>Rei
>Singular
Bad form anon, bad form.

>>33636731
Hell, you can leave out the "please don't leave me alone" part if it bugs you that much.

Wait a moment to listen in, knock on something at a proper timing.
"Hey kid. I'm not going anywhere, at least without being shot. Several times. Besides, there are the other Children and their handlers. Sure, they aren't as handsomely rugged, suicidal and stupid as me, but the world can handle only one [name]. Now, come on when you've finished your talk and we'll grab a smoke and maybe, MAYBE some beer. And yeah, it's normal" on old soldiers who've gone nuts "to talk with the closest thing they have. I'll be waiting at the door."

File: cooking with dice.gif (994 KB, 500x281)

994 KB GIF

>>33636656
One person with a phone that has airplane mode can samefag those kinds of votes with reckless abandon anyway.

Personally, I don't really care which way it goes, tangfag is good about not dropping rocks and it's amusing either way.

>>33636762
No good form. Rei is singular.

>>33636768
To be fair, it DOES sound like what Shinji would say. Not Dec, who has so far looked at Mari with a "I don't like you at all in that way, nor do I rely on you for comfort." mindset.

>

“I just, I don't like being alone,” she tells the Evangelion as an idea enters your head. It's an insidious, idea, really, and either she's going to laugh after she finds out it's you, or she's going to do her fourteen year old girl with a giant cyborg best to kill you. Which would probably be better than your best attempts to not get crushed to death. Yeah, you need to stop thinking about that.

“I mean, Daddy and Uncle are always gone doing really important stuff, and I have your maintenance crew, mum, but really you're all I've got and... you can't hug me at night before bed, can you?”

What. Did- 'mum'? What. Your mind throws all gears on “MAXIMUM BREAK” and you stop clambering up the titanic machine of war before you even get a chance to start.

“I just wish I had someone to be with me when I can't be with you, mum.” You step underneath one leg of the kneeling titanic machine of war, and see her back. Her glasses are folded off to the side. Probably to allow her better access to her eyes to wipe them.

You sit next to her, and she stiffens at the scuffing of your shoes against the metal of the carrier's deck. You place an arm around her, and she leans into your side.

“You're not alone, y'know.”

“Not anymore, I'm not,” she says. And then a heartbeat later- “You smell nice.”

[]”Oh lord. Uh, thanks?”
[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”
[]Write-in.

>>33636814
>Write in
You do too

>>33636803
Ha.
Meant that it's bad form to only go after one Rei when there's like fifty of her, but you probably already knew that.

>>33636814
>[]”Oh lord. Uh, thanks?”
>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

>>33636762
I know Rei has clones, but the unique stuff about Rei so she's not yet-another-clone-in-sci-fi, is that the clones aren't here, they're just socks Rei hops into, so there's only Rei and a lotta clones that aren't Rei.

>>33636851
Those aren't Rei.

They are shells.

>>33636814
>[]Write-in.
"That can't be right. I smell of smoke and whiskey."

>>33636850
This.

>>33636814
Valid compromise.

>>33636814
>[x]”Did you call the giant >CYBORG< of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”
Cryan, you know it's part biological.

>>33636814
"Thanks, I don't get that often as shocking as it is. Maybe most people don't like the smell of alcohol and tobacco. Come on, let's go grab a smoke. And maybe alcohol. Maybe."
And then ask about death machine mom when we're smoking or drinking.

>captcha Near parleyl

>>33636814
>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

oi m8

>>33636869
meant for >>33636851

There's 1 (one) Rei.

>>33636879
She wants it, anon.

>>33636850
This can't hurt anything.

>>33636850
This plus >>33636879

>>33636874
Not the same Rei, no, but 3.33 shows that Reiclones can be people.
Even if I would've preferred the original Rei in the movie.

>>33636814
>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

Guys. You're forgetting that if anything happens, Misato will castrate us.

>>33636879
>>33636850
>>33636814
These two

>>33636923
3.33 is a retcon of the original.

[X]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

>>33636850

Hell no.

This is inappropriate and spaghetti.

>>33636850
I'll back this but i still like my 18 birthday idea.

>>33636814
>>33636896
Made me chuckle. This!

>>33636879
>>33636850
>>33636814
There's a point where we should stop, and we're getting close.
BUT WHO CARES, LETS DO IT ANYWAY

>>33636814
Changing >>33636867
to
>>33636879
>"That can't be right. I smell of smoke and whiskey."
+
>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”
The second part is rather important. Also the part where we DON'T deliberately fuel a 14 year old girls crush on us.

>>33636814
>[]”Oh lord. Uh, thanks?”
Though if it is this >>33636879 scent that Mari's catching the whiff of, there should be some apprehension on why that would smell nice at all.

>>33636973
So is this quest.

>>33636879
>>33636850
>>33636814
We should probably ignore the whole talking to mother thing, so I'm going with this

>>33636898
Seconding this.

>>33637034
Let's keep it tasteful still in this case.

>>33637034
U wot m8

>implying this quest isn't set in an alternate universe, just like Rebuild

>>33637063
But Rebuild isn't an au.

>>33636850
Time to waifu.
What DOES she smell like though?

>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

I wonder how many samefags there are. Two?

>>33637028
This. Don't feed the crush, but don't blunt it. We don't want the unexpectedly needy girl to go swan diving.

>>33637063
Is it a universe that allows for glorious multi-Rei action?

>>33636850
>>33636814
I'll support this.
Add in
>[]”Did you call the giant machine of walking death and human fury given form 'mum'?”

>>33637106
It was mentioned in the last thread her entry plug smelted like lavender and apples, same as the pillow we were being suffocated with by Smith. Presumably Mari smells like that.

>>33637028

This.

>>33637105
So you say.

>>33637106
Established last thread while Smith was trying to smother you with her pillow- lavender and apples.

>>33637124
Por que?

>>33637164
That actually smells nice though.

File: horololi.jpg (96 KB, 662x662)

96 KB JPG

>>33637198
Yes it does, anon.

>>33637198
Yes, it does.
That does not make actually saying that she smells nice a good idea.

>>33636850
Delicious apples and lavender does smell nice, so no point in not adding this in.

>>33636814
>[]”Oh lord. Uh, thanks?

>>33637198

Still not a good idea to feed the young girl that

>>33637187
>Por que?
Because that way we can smother Shinji in blue.

>>33637231
Are you trying to imply that she smells like Horo? Man, now I'm feeling conflicted.

File: horomeido.png (103 KB, 250x360)

103 KB PNG

>>33637263
Shh. No tears now. Only Horo.

>>33637187
NGE is about repetition and repeating patterns, as the man himself said.

>>33637254
>>33637237
Could just say we like the scent of Apples and lavender, but don't understand why alcohol smoke and blood is appealing to her?

>>33637393
Well, she does like the smell of eru see eru.

And that apparently tastes like blood.

>Write-in

“You do too.” Wait. What did you just say. You shouldn't have sai- shit shit shit shit fuck fuck oh god fuck you sideways to church

She swallows heavily, and then you remember she's a gymnast and probably better shape than you. And then she swings herself into your lap, looking up into your face hopefully. And then she shoves her face forward against yours before you can react, and you topple backwards in surprise. Fuck. You could have stopped this. It's already over, Dec. Misato's going to castrate you on international tele-

Her lips are soft, her hair smells like apples and lavender, probably a shampoo you note, and your hands bring themselves up to her arms automatically, too many girlfriends trying to pounce on you after getting in from work and she's pressing her breasts up against your chest and no one's here to see and-

“FUCK,” you hiss at her as loudly as possible as you force her away. “You're fucking fourteen, Mari, not twenty-five or even eighteen or even fifteen, which is legal in Japan which is fucking weird don't ask me. Stop- I'll be your friend, and I'll catch bullets for you, but I won't have sex with you,” you rasp harshly, picking her up off your lap and setting her beside you again.

Your ears start to ring- fucking tinnitus and it feels like the Evangelion is looking at you with extreme disapproval, and you need a fucking drink it's too late in the morning for this.

“Y-you'd catch bullets for me?” Fuck. YOUR MOUTH IS RUNNING TOO FAST FOR YOUR BRAIN TO SHUT IT DOWN.

[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.
[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”
[]Write-in.

>>33637435
Well it IS blood.

>>33637452
...that's it, I'm going to bed.

>>33637452
>Write in
"Mari, slow down."
"Why rush is there?"

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”
>[]Write-in. "Kid, I like you, but could you at least wait until you're like 17 or something? That gives me some goddamn plausible deniability. BUT ANYWAYS. The fuck was that about calling the Eva your mum?"

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas."

you chuklefucks

>>33637494
You aren't fooling us as to what you're REALLY doing.

>>33637452
>”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”
Quickly change the subject to why she was calling the giant machine of death and destruction "Mum".

>>33637452
>[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.
"Of course I would Mari, you're goddamn Mari!"
"But you shouldn't do something like this in front of your mother!"

>>33637510
>>[]Write-in. "Kid, I like you, but could you at least wait until you're like 17 or something? That gives me some goddamn plausible deniability.

No, just no.

>>33637452
Ask her why she was calling Eva-04 mum.

>>33637452
>Write in
"You shouldn't do something like this in front of your mother!"

File: 1405895630775.jpg (22 KB, 248x251)

22 KB JPG

>>33637452

[X]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.

FLEE.

SLIDE ACROSS THE FLIGHT DECK ON A WAVE OF SPAGHETTI, YOUR FACE BURNING BRIGHT RED AND YOUR EVERY BASE INSTINCT SCREAMING AND RAGING AGAINST EVERY IOTA OF COMMON SENSE AND REASON, LOCKED IN PERPETUAL CIVIL WAR

because deep down we actually are terribly, terribly lonely

>>33637563
What's wrong, anon? Willing to diddle a fictional Japanese girl but not a fictional Murrikan one?

>>33637452
>Mari gonna raip u.
I'm oddly OK with thus.
>[x]Write-in.
"Yes, but if NERV found out about anything other than a business relationship between me and a pilot then they'd fukin kill me! Shit, you've literally got me in a fucking hard-ass place."

>>33637583
Oh god this

>>33637452
[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.
Do a 360 and walk away

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”

Cut out any encouragement of this bullshit.

Stop adding fuel to the fire.

>>33637583
Well he's right She shouldn't.
This

>>33637452
[x] Just... calm down. Chill. Eaaaaaaaase off girl. Besides. The giant godmachine of death, aka, "mum" seems to dissaprove.

>>33637452
>[]Write-in.
"Don't ignore the rest of what I said."
Emphasize on the 'I'll be your friend' and 'I won't have sex with you' bit.

That said...
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”

>>33637452
>[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.
Let's just put our spaghetti back into our pockets and go get a drink.

>>33637452
>[]”Yes. It's my JOB. They PAY ME TO DO SO. Don't get any ideas.”
Damnit, people. Look what you did.
Please, dear fucking angels of non-genocidal variety, do not let her think this line means we're tsundere.
Ask about the giant cyborg that we fear we may have just pissed off. And the mother comment.

>>33637583
This and
>[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.

>>33637599
Does 'Mari Makinami' sound Murrikan to you?

File: 1406244492334.jpg (36 KB, 500x341)

36 KB JPG

>>33637452
>[]”Discharge sidearm into the ceiling."

Sweet tap dancing christ on a pogo stick.

>>33637583
This, maybe it'll bring the conversation out of this and won't get us squished next time she's in the EVA

>>33637706
Mari Illustrious Makinami is half-Japanese, half-British.

>>33637583
+
>[]Shut it down. Shut it all down. You have to go do something highly classified and alone.
She honestly isn't doing it as bad as Asuka

>>33637510
>[]Write-in. "Kid, I like you, but could you at least wait until you're like 17 or something? That gives me some goddamn plausible deniability. BUT ANYWAYS. The fuck was that about calling the Eva your mum?"
This and
>>33637583

>>33637738
And 0% Murrikan.
Unlike Asuka, who's half murrica, quarter japanese and quarter german.

>>33637709

RUN AWAY SCREAMING WHILE FIRING WILDLY

>>33637800
It was an example of the age differences, anon, not nationality. Get your context in the game.

>>33637800
My dick doesn't care.

>>33637583
This.
Maybe run away. Running away would be good.
And I swear this will happen again after both of us jerk off.

>>33637709

Speaking of, wasn't there a prototype battle rifle being discussed last thread?

>>33637706
Murrikan Maccaroni
no, it does not
why does she go around sniffing people?

>>33637583
This.
And running. Maybe jerking off in a corner to loli pussy.

>>33637857

I find it funny that he though of misato as Mari kissed MC

>>33637897
And maybe getting reported by well-to-do deck hands for wanting to diddle a 14-year-old.

>>33637857
>Both of us masturbate after running away
>Meet up again
>Mari says "You smell better"
>We say "You too"
Why can I see anons doing this?

File: 1405365514594.png (146 KB, 565x600)

146 KB PNG

>>33637870
Yes. Pallet rifles haven't done shit. They're researching a bigger round. (175mm.) Including a bayonet, for more reach in melee.

>>33637876
The world may never know.

>>33637897
Disgusting.

>>33637912
HA. HA. HA. HA. Right?

>>33637924
never again will I choose that fucking spaghetti option

>>33637932
a FAL in 175mm. Mmmyes.

>>33637921
Boatswain's Mates are retards anyway.
They'd just try to jump in on the action.

>>33637932
>Disgusting
It was a joke!

>>33636039
go away

>>33637973
Don't apologise for pedophilia on 4chan.
You're on 4chan.
Pedophilia is what 4chan is based on.

>>33638018

It is not

File: WDYTWA.jpg (72 KB, 500x438)

72 KB JPG

>>33637973
This is 4chan. You should have known that some people would take it seriously.

>>33637452
Tangfag, this piece of writing, I like it.
I like it a lot. Please write more like it in future, doesn't even have to be Mari, doesn't have to be female, or Dec, I just want something like this in the future.

>>33638018
>hue dont be scared if you like cp i wont report you ;)))

Get fucked.

>>33638037
I did, but it was a joke since Mari's 14, and if you count loli as an age then technically we'd be jerking it to the thought of loli pussy

“Yes. It is my job. And let me emphasize I will be your friend but I will NOT have sex with you, Mari. At least wait until you're seventeen, so I have some kind of plausible dependability. And what did you mean by calling the walking death machine of human fury and might given form 'mum?'”

“O-oh. I don't know, it just feels a lot like my mom. It's warm and comforting and I always feel at peace.”

“Well, since it feels so much LIKE your mom, maybe you shouldn't try to seduce men a decade and four years older than you in front of it? Maybe?”

“You're probably right,” she allows. Giving you a small smile, she stands. “I'm going to go post on my imageboard about being on a carrier,” she continues, “and call them all faggots.”

“Language,” you tell her. “'s conduct unbecoming, you know.” As she flounces off, doing her best to sway her hips seductively, you feel the strangest urge to draw your pistol and fire it into the air, and run off shrieking in gibbering fear.

Instead you make your way to the room you were provided, some poor midshipman's (he got kicked out of it to make room for you,) and seat yourself heavily on the bed. Jesus fucking Christ, that was too close. You almost lost control.

Losing control would have ended badly for all involved. For you, it probably would have been castration and then a bullet and a burial in some lonely swamp somewhere. Shaking that train of thought off, you look at the laptop NERV-Nevada provided.

[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.
[]Go take a cold shower and a nap.
[]Go find something to drink.
[]Write-in.

>>33638053
I am going to copy paste this and replace "cp" for other words, and see how many people I can troll.

>>33638053
How new are you?

>>33638082
>]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.
>[]Go take a cold shower

>>33638082
>[x]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.
Why the fuck not.

I hope we get to learn more about Eva biology over time, given that we're meant to be guarding kids that drive the things.

>>33638082
>[]Write-in.
What time is it in jap land?

Call shinji. We're back in the land of the living.

Lets let him know we're still alive and kicking.

I expect him and misato will have WORDS for MC.

>>33638082
[]Go find something to drink.
[]Write-in. Beer. Beer and food.

>>33638082
>[x]Go take a cold shower and a nap.
That was too close...

>>33638082
>[]Go take a cold shower and a nap.
Because I just know Lilith is gonna try to top THAT.

>>33638082
>a decade and four years older than you
We're 28?
...huh. For some reason, I thought we were older.

>[]Go take a cold shower
No nap yet.
>[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.

File: 1405882254975.jpg (36 KB, 433x449)

36 KB JPG

>>33638082
>[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.

TIME TO SHITPOST ON /K/

>>33638082
[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.

>>33638141
This.
And >>33638082
[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.
[]Go take a cold shower and a nap.

>>33638141

This.

Call shinji

>>33638141
This, the little man needs to know what's up...

And it'll take our minds off Mari.

>>33638141
Do this

Dont neglect our big brother duties

>>33638176
This and>>33638141

>>33638141
This.

>>33638082
>[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.

>>33638141
This

And maybe alcohol

>>33638141
Yes, this.

>>33638082
>[]Check out that weapons imageboard Mari told you about.
People might be being wrong on the internet at this very moment

>>33638190
This

>>33638082
You're only making this harder for me to stop wanting her damn it

>>33638339
>Implying we'll actually get with anyone.

Tang is a master of blueballing. Embrace it or suffer.

>>33638374
We could have lost control an kept it a secret...it would have been so easy.

We really need to keep a condom around us.

Meh, this got too weird for me

>>33638420
Please no

>>33638421
Faggot.

>>33638420

No

>>33638420
>Implying it could have been kept secret.

Just embrace the Misato or Lilith, anon. Mature women or bust.

File: 1402182243211.jpg (8 KB, 231x251)

8 KB JPG

>>33638421
>Eva quest
>getting weird

>>33638440
>>33638465
It's just for IF we lose control.

>>33638421
Look this quest got too weird some time between when a section-2 agent descended into terminal dogma for no fucking reason and when shinji wasn't a pussy. Im just here for the ride man

>

First, you call Shinji. You get his voicemail, so you let him know you're still alive and not to worry.

Then you decide to take a cold shower. It's quick because hurr warships, but someone was thoughtful enough to leave two bottles of Scotch on the bed for you while you were gone. Thanking them silently, you seat yourself on the bunk with the laptop, and begin browsing that site Mari told you about. The weapons board is where you'll feel most at home, probably so-

Someone doesn't know the difference between a Mosin-Nagant and an SKS. Clearly you must inform him of his idiocy. >>>22100853
The Scotch helps put you at ease, and so you begin your internet career of informing people they're idiots. It's a hard, thankless job, but someone has to do it.

Eventually, you tire of being told you don't know what you're talking about. Clearly the cunts have never fucking heard of half the shit you know, so you close the window out and are left with a half-empty bottle of Scotch, and an entire new one.

[]Finish all of the Scotch.
[]Finish the first bottle. Don't want to get too drunk.
[]Write-in.

>>>/k/22100853

^ is the actual thread on /k/

>>33638674
>[]Finish the first bottle. Don't want to get too drunk.

>>33638674
Leave the scotch alone for now. Don't need to get Liver #rekt.

Yes I know it's tough. But you're a soldier for fuck's sake. You've been through tougher.

Remember that time you didn't eat for a week because supply lines were cut, and you still kept on fighting anyway?

This is much easier than that.

Put down the scotch.

>>33638674
>Search for a post about carriers
I have a feeling she's crying and not on the image board, this would confirm or deny this.
Also, only first bottle.

>>33638674
>[]Finish the frist bottle. Don't want to get too drunk.
We still have to interrogate Smith, yes? Better not do that while hungover.

>>33638674
>[]Write-in
Cap the alcohol

Call misato.

Wonder how things are going

>>33638674
Finish all of the Scotch
Must purge all memory of today through alcohol

>>33638674
[x]Finish the first bottle. Don't want to get too drunk.
if Dec gets too drunk, Mari will pounce.

>>33638746
This.
But >>33638734

>>33638746
Seeing if she actually posted would be useful, so this.

Maybe phone misato, maybe we can get some anti-girl tips from Kaji.

>>33638674
>[x] Stop drinking, see if you can get ahold of Misato.

Check in on ERRYONE

>>33638674
These: >>33638734 >>33638746

>>33638809
>>33638830
This.
We can scroll and phone.

>>33638674
>[]Write-in.
Just a nightcap. One gobfull and done.

>>33638809

Yes.

We do mentioned today's happening.

>>33638746
>implying she isn't posting on there cos she is getting off on what just happened

>>33638889
WE DO NOT MENTION MARI
EVER

>>33638922

But we need to complain.

>>33639004
Do you want to be castrated?