>One man has giant testicles; desires the solution.

>someone stole all the dicks in the whole world

Currency is replaced with blowjobs. Op is rich.

The Royal Owlbear has been stolen. Again.

Annual wizard gathering soon. You're advised to run.

Someone's stealing unillamas

>>33920053
The Hills are alive with sounds of orgies

>>33920053
The slaves revolted. We're out of fried chicken.

>>33920053
I don't even want to be flying this!

What do you mean dragons don't have brakes?

You have royally screwed us again, your highness!

I'll get you, Gadget!

>>33920053
Gremlins stole your shit; you gonna take that?

>>33920053
Take The Crystal Maze and Fort Boyard. Combine.

Everyone in your town is changelings but you.

Massacre leaves town painted red; no bodies found.

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Beholder clans set aside differences, hold dance competition.

The Thieves Guild files for bankruptcy.

Seek out the nexus of the four winds.

Halflings are punching random people in the dick!

Smitten architect traps lover in labyrinth.

>>33920053
"Why are there no kids in this village?"

Welcome home.

The target was Mr.Johnson the whole time.

Crash airships into dragons to save your love!

>>33920053
Written on the wall: The End is HER
(not a typo)

Titty thief still at large, world left flat-chested

The hills have eyes, they require corrective lenses.

>>33920053
The dwarves are here. You should be running.

Dog has no nose; how does he smell?

>>33920053
IF IT WASN'T FOR THOSE MEDDLING KIDS!

Sixteen men on a dead man's chest.

>>33920477
Pose as a team, shit just got real.

>>33920053
>Everybody are now whores and sluts

>>33920509
Didn't mean to quote.

>>33920053
"Seemed like a good idea at the time"

The orc princess and elf prince have eloped

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Treant vandal carves beloved's initials into sleeping travelers.

>>33920053
Local lords are bees. Town trades honey.

Familiar dead. Time to kidnap baby demon.

Immense and unknown object appears. Squeaks when prodded.

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Flea circus seeks tiny elephant, pays in peanuts.

Reagent Procurement Agency, hired by the Wizards' Guild.

Wizards: ABOLUTELY NO sense of Right or Wrong.

Chefs: Surprisingly intimidating.

You're clowns at Cthulhu's birthday party.

I'm pretty sure Tarrasques are bigger than that.

Fuck the Emperor, Space Marines are pussies.

Killer rabbit last hope against zombie carrot apocalypse.

Seeking writers for Death and Peacocks magazine.

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Time traveling dinosaurs protest ancient burial site desecration.

Be advised: test subject has reappeared...drunk?

An ancient treasure disappeared with the Mad King...

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>>33920053
The entire party is now comprised of Kender.

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Chosen one undertakes quest to destroy all pottery.

"Go get me more pie, please"

Naked man runs through town, is actually clothed.

Effeminate prince captured by burly gay dragon.

Claim your Whoredom! Become a king today!

Cold war turns hot when elves shaves dwarfs.

Apocalypse happened. Reverse time to the beginning.

Amnesiacs explore ruins of own lives. They're zombies.

Everything's fucked, get Emergency contraception.

The last man hears a knock. It's elves.

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>>33920053

If you go to Z'ha'dum, you will die.

All doors become windows, all windows becomes doors.

Everyone loses their sex drive, stops making babbies.

The party is trapped In the pocket dimension of an insane Mage, you all became trapped here after you died.

>>33922117
Faggot used more than eight words.

For sale: World ending artifact, never worn.

Animated door goes on thumb smashing spree.

>>33920053
Space Squid Invade Earth! Their Weakness is Salsa!

Radioactive bears, everywhere.

>>33920053
"True is it that we have seen better days."

"Having nothing, nothing can he lose"

"Out of the jaws of death"

"For the rain it raineth every day"

best i can do with shakespeare quotes

The floor is now lava, chairs are dicks.

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>And so, the legendary blade was sealed...

All heterosexuals turns gay and vice versa.

>>33920053
Suddenly lolis, millions of them.

>>33920053
You find discarded skin. Someone is a mimic.

The cursed ring has a large anti-magic zone.

The new king is decided by regicide.

All living people die, all dead people reawaken.

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Clowns usurp criminal underworld, control city from shadows.

>>33920053

The King broke into peices, like a vase.

Plants are just illusions. They're really gnomes.

Tarrasques start dealing drugs to kids.

God of death commands you to destroy existence.

Two space stations. There used to be one.

>For Sale:
>Children's shoes.
>Never worn.

>>33922606
>For Sale:
>Children's Shoes.
>Two for One sale.

>>33921094
I needed to read that.

All genitals within 50 mile radius have disappeared.

Why is the princess sticky?

>>33921916
>>33922330
I knew that green garbed kid was trouble!

>>33922656
>For sale
>Children's shoes
>Child can be included.

>>33922138
I see what you did there.

>>33920053
Somebody's been spilling chocolate milk

Kobolds hate living underground, construct heavens-piercing drill.

>>33920053
The floor is lava but lava is mimic

>>33922824
>For Sale:
>Children's Shoes.
>Previously Owned, Clearly Haunted

>>33922876

>For Sale
>Children's "Shoes"

Hitler is back, and this time it's personal.

>>33922912
For sale:
"Shoes'" Children.

>>33920053
You find a long thread belonging to faggot

>>33922927
>For Sale: Shoes
>Children need not apply

>>33922927
>>33922912


>For sale:
>Your mom
>Been used a bit.

>>33920053
The Big Bad Evil Guy is not evil.

>>33920053

gotta cook em' all

>>33922927

>For "Sale"
>Children's Shoes

>>33922988
>For Sale:
>Stale Jokes
>See Owner for Details

Time travel is a bad idea. Here's why..

>>33920053

The entire Capital City just sank into the underdark.

Amputees regrow hostile limbs they can not control.

Worrying ghost ship sightings in underground dwarven kingdom.

Cursed ring causes monarch to age in reverse.

McDonalds now hiring.

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Ok let me take a crack at this.

"Man appears from the wastes, knowing things."

"I think this has all happened before..."

"Put down the Revolt. Ignore legitimate grievances?"

"Little sister made Faust's deal: dire consequences."

"One thing we couldn't plan for... Cannibals."

"The prince was assassinated, by a disease?"

"The reasons for this war were faked."

"We've had full moons for a month..."

>>33920053

Zeji is a whore; his mom is free

>>33922847
So tempted to do this.

Every policeman dies and niggers start chimping out

>"Wherever I am, I must also rape"

>>33923859
>>33923660


CONTAINMENT BREACH! REPEL THE TROLLS!

>>33920053
"Shit's fucked, dude."

>>33920053
"You have been dead for over a decade."

Giant woman kidnaps gorilla, climbs empire state building.

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>>33924046
>maximum over-/pol/

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>>33920053
>EVERYBODY GET UP, IT'S TIME TO SLAM NOW

"You must get blackjack and hookers"

>>33920053
"A deer went up a mountain. It was not a deer."

(I'm not counting "a"s against my 8 word total.)

"Local man is fucking invincible"

The Mad King requires a champion once more.

The city vanished and then came back.

They came from below an no-one else sees.

The graveyard wont stop moving.

Your (former) best friend has sold your souls.

Wanted: Brave souls to kill a god. -HEARST

John Tucker Must Die. He is Also A Wizard.

Vegan extremists polymorph dissenters into vegetables to devour.

Your dog confesses of his sentiency.

>>33920053

Mass graves appeared everywhere. But nobody died.

Vain vampire seeks magic mirror, slowly goes insane.

Ghosts become corporeal; pissed at necromancer, kinda hungry.

Fantasy roleplay was CoC delusion all along.

Socially inept dragon needs to get laid immediately.

He wasn't in charge this whole time.

You must prepare dinner for demons from hell.

>>33920053
Man seeks eight chinamen to man zeppelin.

>>33920053
'Good morning Crono.'

Apocalypse. Life is gone. Knock at door.

>>33927790
Man seeks eight reindeer for late night deliveries.

Amazing chest ahead! Praise the Sun!!

>>33920053
You arrive in a tavern looking for adventurers.

Cloud Giants Are Kidnapping People With Fishing Hooks.

There. Plot hooks.

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>>33920053

>"Pizza store seeks exorcist. Must bring own coffee."

>>33927926
Bring Sticky White Stuff.

>>33927978
You arrive in an adventure looking for taverns.

>>33927913
Man seeks horde of rabbits to commit larceny.

>>33928109
rabbit horde squeals on accomplice, testifies in court.

>>33928153
Chinamen in zeppelin break man from prison.

Cockfight referee pecked to death. Fowl play suspected

Circus tamer meets grizzly fate when bear escapes

>>33928361
>>33928509
god damn it barb

Eternally Imprisoned.
Safe, forgotten.
You control the world.

Scientists discover god created universe for tabletop game.

>>33920053
Nonmagical harp is somehow playing itself. Songs mournful.

Card-games on motorcycles!

>>33924502
Venisons dear (deer) isn't it?

>>33927900
DIO

"Undo the future that is Aku!"

Time traveler kills father, becomes own grandad.

Death comes for ye, get in the bag.

The sun is crying. I can't think straight.

Quasielemental Plane of Salt

>>33920053
Everyone was cyborgs.

>>33920053
The door is open. You should have listened.

Dungeon offers best sex ever; full of traps.

Dragon seeks mate, gets drunk, fucks royal tower.

Dragon seeks mate, asks adventurers to be wingmen.

More monsters than usual, local wizard prime suspect.

Superpower potions and angry mobs should not mix.

Things somehow go from bad to worse.

>>33920053
>Mixed supernaturals solve mysteries like the Scooby gang.

I really want to run/play this.

>>33932149

Name of The Rose, but in Unknow Armies

You must deafeat my eight evil boyfriends

The Royal Gourmet club now demands Terrasque steaks.

>>33932174
You must defeat my eight evil exes.

FTFY

Talking Sword get's lonely, demands talking sheath bride.

Players are faculty members in an Adventurers School

The Revolution never happened. The Empire never ended.

>>33922912
>For Sale
>"Children's" Shoes

Dare you try?

Nine sacred tools have manifested, seal or steal?

Princess in love, father not amused, what do?

>>33920053
Hero saves empire, still can't get laid though.

>>33920304
didn't skyrim have something like that?

>>33920053
Elven Ghengis Khan. Seek and destroy, vassals.

litch hitler raises nazis, modern weapons disappear.

Defeat God, prove world's willingness to exist

>>33923416
>"I think this has all happened before..."

I like that line a lot. Good and ominous.

Players framed for assassination. Real culprit: Grassy Gnoll.

>>33920053
Your life has been flipped, turned upside down

there must be some kind of way out

Wasps forge hellish alliance with Bees. Mankind doomed.

A promise only one remembered, don't leave me again

The ground is falling!

Orcish Mafia runs drug smuggling operation in city.

Fireproof foul mouthed Troll sub-species feed on rage.

Petting Zoo disaster: Those are actually cockatrices!

global enchantment: all feces is imbued with life.

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The King of Bones is BACK.

Baby shoes. For sale. Never worn.

The king is dead, who wants to rule?

We're all fucked

The Tornados got organized.

>>33934075

The king is dead. It hasn't stopped him.

>>33933970
I see what you did there.

>day 74 : we tried to use nuclear weapons but the beast shrugged them off

yes it's for a med fan game

When he awoke, the dinosaur was still there.

>>33920053
Evil Seer's plans continue after his death.

The bones of dead gods no longer give warmth.

Sentient war elephant seeks to forget wartime trauma.

Giant steamroller flattens mountain range, ecologic catastrophe results.

"Man kicks ass so hard it creates rift"

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>>33933970

Continent disappears, nobody notices.

Continent disappears, everybody notices.

For sale, continent, never settled.

>>33920053

>Meanwhile the Time Wizards....

Don't even need 8 words

We found cockroaches on mars.

>>33936646
>Meanwhile the Time Wizards Meanwhile the Time Wizards

That really updated my journal.

Mars rover sends back filthy filthy language.

>>33920053

Polar Bears control the weather, seeking vengeance. Help!

Threat of Auks.

Threat of short choppy Auks from distant future.

>>33920053
Evil emperor is conquering, send help!
The emperor is not evil. The conflict is complex with no real good guys.

Lich runs for presidency, promises to resurrect economy.

Currency golem runs rampant, president apologizes.

Your father hates you, get in the robot.

All dogs went to heaven

Rodents become enlightened, but not humanoid.

>>33937327
Plants become sentient, demand electrolytes.

Giant dragon slain: No winter happened since.

All the town's water was changed to milk.

People spontaneously combust. Burning skeletons still rage.

Town collectively took vow of silence. Mostly illetrate.

Tower building project suffers a curse of tongues.

The new king of fairies is a douchebag.

Curse is very, very, very, very, very embarassing

Sunglasses trend worries holy light cultists.

Mayor daughter kidnapped, enrolled in music band.

Hidden thieve's guild deals with identity crisis.

War interrupted by rust monster stampedes.

>>33937351
User did not mean to quote, ruins everything.

Incontinent puppy ruins expensive rug, incites Persian invasion.

Mage becomes lich by writing heinous fan fiction.

Elves call world summit, just want to talk.

Villain actually ignorant musician; groupies cause of destruction.

>>33920290
All is lost.

>>33927090
Vampire seeks mirror. Unshaven for five centuries.

Orcish horde pursues ice cream van, destruction unparallelled.

>>33928109
"Man" secretly hares in an overcoat. Frame rabbits.

>>33937674
Vampire falls asleep first, unaware of sharpie.

>>33937709
Vampire seeks to know why not taken seriously.

Mescaline in the water, spirit-animals constantly pestered.

Disarmament treaty really plot by sentient pen.

>>33937770
Vampire clown questions serious attitude of peer.

>>33920053

All was fine, until the fire nation attacked.

>>33922988
>For sale
>Burn heal
>Urgently Needed

>>33937915
Travel north to find cure for wicked burn.

Seek the souls of lords, chosen undead.

Magic freezer door left ajar, causes ice age.

>>33938151
Barbarians raid ice cream stockpile, chaos ensues.

>>33938151
Scientists sick of our ridiculous fantasy world.

Too many elves!

>>33938299
Scientists give up, cite magic bullshit as reason.

>>33938346
Fantasy world map gives geographer aneurism.

>>33938656
Economist quits after masterwork daggers flood market.

>All belts replaced with Girdles of Gender Changing

I can't believe he ate the whole thing.

>>33938727
Girders of gender changing make buildings interesting.

>>33938780
>>33938727

All underwear becomes cursed, reproduction suddenly ceases.

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>>33931933

ZA WARUDO!!!!!!!!!

>>33920053
Villagers mistake new catfolk in town for rakshasa.

>Killing him completed his ritual to Lichdom

>>33939394
>killing him completed his ritual to leechdom.

Gnoll berserker infected by werewolf, transformations go unnoticed.

>>33920053
The kobolds have taken over, you're all fucked.

Gnomes conquer funfair, lower height requirements on rides.

>>33922153
>weakness is salsa
The food or the music?

Party must protect dat ass from invaders. Hnnng.

Orcish way of life threatened by despotic therapists.

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>>33939756
Anon forgets picture. Unsure if getting a promotion.

>You are like Ghostbusters. But for Mimics.

"Run"

>>33935960
>elephantmen comics
nice

War was declared. Escape the draft!

it won't stop raining on this island

necromancers resurrect dead sun in exchange for bodies

Message to the world: 'Adventurers wanted. Minimum Pay.'

All spellbooks from Wizards' Guild are missing.

Pay the rent

You can't cut all funding to public transportation.

The time is right. Right for minotaur fucking.

wizards are scared. Teleport spells let People vanish...

>>33942785
We've made a terrible mistake...

>>33942813
The Archwizards are still clueless. Don't use Teleport-Spells or magic Gateways!

This world is bandage for another one

The world is a vampire, sent to drain

>>33942909

Secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames

>>33942938

And what do I get, for my pain?

>>33942860
Guy breaks limit. Riots in streets of capitol.

>>33942966

Betrayed desires, and a piece of the game

>>33920053
Humanity is endangered and you cannot remember why.

Dwarves revealed to be interplanar colonists, reclaim homeworld.

>High Elf Musical, coming right now and armed.

>Virgins cannot sleep - need to be bedded desperately.

>Local bard delivers sick burns - secretly a warlock

>Voices are switched - whose line is it anyway?

>Wasps organize cyclic traps

>Intense orc stares cause structural collapse

>Multiple devastating defensive deep strikes inbound

The sky is falling. no, seriously, look up.

rent is due and you're all MOST WANTED

Ancient library of Bahamut left unmolested for eons

The Rusty Thorn accepts all new challengers!

famous celebrity target of hit; here's your tickets.

luxury ghost ship sails again

Chaesian magocracy fights Mercadian Empire part 2

>>33920053
The Prince is throwing a masquerade ball!

>>33943654
Prince is throwing mask raid - balls.

>>33943748
His name is prince; and he is funky

"God for hire. Will work for food"

>>33944075
Blouses vs skins for the god's favor.

Orc bards disregarded, form first ever metal band.

You are dead, insert coin here

Dragon knitting club steals pheonix feathers for hat.

>>33945517

Are they dragons who knit, or knitters who knit dragons?

Senator revealed to be ancient evil in scandal!

>>33945538
Dragon knitters who knit dragons for dragons who knit.

Surprised nobody has done this one:

Dare you enter my magical realm?

Here's an original one:

Dolphins and ravens declare alliance. What's U.N.'s reaction?

>>33946819
U.N. praises alliance, seats vetoed by Russians.

You just incinerated the king, everyone hates you

Teen boy found mauled in shoe store today.

>>33947015
You just fellated the king, you're now a baron

"The world's doomed," he said, ordering another shot.

>>33947214
You consumed the king, he wants out.

>>33947249
Totally not stealing from Futurama

>>33920053
You are the villains, fuck shit up.

Effeminate Man who loves hawks makes demonic pact.

You all know karate that makes people explode.

Evil Curse turns everyone into unkillable undead.

Party teleports back in time where evil is law.

Elementalists summon lesser god to stop pollution.

>>33920342
fuck off Desdinova

The very campaign setting that my players are in now.

It's 1609. America has Dinosaurs. You're Pirates.

>>33922047
>What is the plot of Warhammer Fantasy for 400, alex.

>>33951295
So, basically Marvel 1602?

>>33951504
Not familiar with that. I just ran with the idea that the extinction didn't occur in the Americas. So now you have the starting of the colonies, only instead of somebody being mauled by a bear, the fort at Jamestown occasionally has to fend off a T-rex with cannons.

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>>33920053
He was a flesh puppet of his skeleton.

>>33951633
Ah. Well, Marvel 1602 is just what it sounds like: Marvel characters in the year 1602. For reasons unexplained, North America is plagued by "thunder lizards", and various spinoff titles involve things like The Sinister Six as pirates. The Fantastick Four also got their powers from a cosmic storm at sea.

>>33920053
I'm telling you, he's a giant chicken.

>>33951739
Might actually have to give that a read. I'd given up on Marvel a while back.
The pirates reference is that my characters basically found the best way to make themselves rich was to get their own ship and ply the trade routes. Apparently, Velociraptor-skin hats are all the rage in ladies fashion in Paris.

Niggers tongued your anus. Now, you seek revenge.

With love, from /b/.

>>33951828
Yeah, they gave Neil Gaiman free reign over it so it turned out pretty good. The original miniseries is like eight issues, makes a nice graphic novel. Others did the later spinoffs, which include Fantastick Four, Spider-Man and some other one with I think the Inhumans or something. They're okay but don't really stack up compared with the main work.

>>33942909
>>33942938
>>33942966
>>33942998
don't care if samefagging or not, I love Smashing Pumpkins, so thanks.

>>33920053
You grabbed the wrong briefcase.