File: 1407418036984.jpg (77 KB, 500x461)

77 KB JPG

I once played trough the "lost temple of the birth goddess".
Jesus, every single puzzle involved semen.
You made me remember this, bastard.

>>34410686
>implying that's That Guy

Man /tg/ has become weak

>>34410686
as long as none of them involved actual babies...

File: Dare you.png (69 KB, 180x215)

69 KB PNG

>>34410686

File: senpai.png (1.66 MB, 1053x1070)

1.66 MB PNG

>>34410686
>not loving Semen Quest 2012

File: 1347667180265.png (63 KB, 800x640)

63 KB PNG

>>34410686
You can't just post this and not elaborate, you coy motherfucking son of a bitch. STORYTIME.

>>34410686
I demand more information.

>>34410686

Well you can't just say that and not tell us what it's like.

>>34410703
Raping statues, naked minotaurs, tentacle monsters, edgy plot,3 guys rolled drow, and GM-boner the hole night? That was fatal level.

File: 1l_scube_Z33.jpg (25 KB, 332x334)

25 KB JPG

>>34410686
>semen temple
Damn, imagine if you're a servant from fate stay night.

Unlimited mana holy shit

>>34410745
>>34410746
>>34410752
I'm on mobile, and English isn't my first language. It might take a while to type and there might be some bad grammar errors.
Please, don't make me do this, /tg/.

>>34410804
You can't tell us about a cum-temple and not explain more.

File: 1379492303688.jpg (40 KB, 410x389)

40 KB JPG

>>34410804
Either do it now or later.

But do it now.

File: Ah, another wonderful day(...).webm (1.35 MB, 720x480)

1.35 MB WEBM

I came for that guy.

What is this?

>>34410804

We're making you do this, pal. You want to fit in with all of the cool kids don't you? We don't mind about grammar and errors if the story is good.

>>34410626
Who's that sperm tiefling?

File: 1407678399670.jpg (88 KB, 768x768)

88 KB JPG

Ok, lets do this.
>be me, perma-dm of my friends
>start looking for a game so i can play for once
>find a guy starting a campaign on homebrew grimdark world
>neckbeard, fedora, everything little red flag one can mention
>really edgy world, the gods have forsaken the mortals, yadda yadda
>roll a paladin, because i want to explore this side of the world and why the fuck not?
>he laughs at me saying that the gods won't give me any shit, no one has faith in the world, atheism was embraced by everyone, because thats the only logic conclusion etc, no divine powers
>so i roll a fighter, in a quest to revive the paladins of old and what drove the gods away
I don't know what i was thinking. I knew it was going to be a shitty story. But i wanted to play once before i died.
So i dive into the darkness of his mind, with outstretched arms.
Oh god, forgive me for my mistakes.

>meet everyone in DMs house on a good neighborhood, clean place and he lives alone
>the players looked normal
>skinny fag, playing a drow rogue
>the girl, 5/10, drow mage
>DMpc drow fighter protecting the drow mage
>betrayed the drow village or something like that and ran away together
>looks like i'm the last human on earth, so much drow
>we meet in a tavern, as i'm looking for a party to help me on my search
>the drow had pre-game stolen a shit ton of magic items for themselves from a local merchant as part of the background
>bad roleplaying ensues, as we agree to go to the ruins on the map as long they can keep the loot
We then ventured into the lost temple of the birthgoddess. A.K.A, the semen dungeon.

>>34411855
>Everyone is playing a drow
>Is not the 90s but the year of our lord 2014
My radar would had start beeping at the very moment a single player told me his PC was a drow, and if a second one shows to be playing as a drow too, I would had put my jetpack, blast off, pushed the panic button and send a horde of killer robots to purge the place.

>>34411855
lurking for moar

File: 1316525611231.jpg (325 KB, 900x857)

325 KB JPG

>>34411855

File: By my handsome chin, DIS (...).gif (2.16 MB, 428x240)

2.16 MB GIF

>>34411855
Aw yiss, keep goin'.

File: 1407679022972.jpg (318 KB, 850x936)

318 KB JPG

>>34411916
Forgive me, for i was young and naive.
>>34411855
>we go down the road, fight a few kobolds but nothing serious because bullshit magic items
>i don't get any because muh LG pseudo-paladin wouldn't get anything stolen
>after a week of traveling, we find the spoopy jungle
>a few animal encounters, nothing major since infinite fireball from magestaff
>cue to redflag #1, the big bad evil bitch
>the big bad evil drow bitch
>the big bad evil drow bitch that was the evil twin of the other evil drow bitch that i was paying
>cue to monologue about how our foolish quest was foolish and our foolishness would get us killed on our foolishness
>you fools
>almost exact quote, this goes on for 15 minutes before she teleports away leaving behind some kind of tentacle monster that almost ends our foolish quest
>we reach the temple a couple hours later, with our path blocked by a giant old big boobed statue of goddess.
>puzzle time, bitches
"To reach the womb of creation, thou must leave the essence of life"
>cue to blood offering, since so edgy campaign was getting on my nerves
>nope.jpeg
>drow rogue sacrifices small wolf cub to statue, as my PC raged
>nope.jpeg
>...
>redflag #2
>it was semen

File: IT STINGS.gif (1.58 MB, 480x270)

1.58 MB GIF

>>34412255
>womb of creation
HOW WASN'T THIS THE BIGGEST RED FLAG

>>34412426

Eh, under different circumstances that could have been some poetic turn of phrase.

Under these circumstances, however, the warning klaxons should have immediately turned up to eleven and the vicinity be pruged with fire.

Am about to go to a Black Crusade game with a terrible fucking GM. Expect storytime, unless he somehow turns the entire game around.

His shittiness so far:
>Almost said Noise Marines don't get power armour until our resident 40kRPG rules lawyer set him straight
>Gave me two fucking wounds for failing to lift a goddamn washing machine, shortly before a ridiculously brutal battle against a dozen faggots with hellguns
>a fucking Noise Marine hurting himself while lifting a washing machine
>he caves to the faggot autist playing a Plague Marine all the time, giving him tons of shit because they're both Skullgirls-obsessed basement dwellers
>completely ignores how the talents work and mumbles "'m homeruling it" when challenged

>>34410823
Could I get a source on this ?

>>34412255

>It was semen

Should have walked out right there. Still . . . MOAR!

>>34412426
>>34412525
Its ambiguous on my language.
>>34412255
>we enter the temple and start our search for the main chambers
>strange looking design for a temple, but lets not look too much on that
> minotaurs trying to rape the drow mage
> minotaurs are kill
> tentacle monster aiming for my anus
> tentacle monster is kill
> locked doors with foul smelling sink
> drow fighter rubs one for the team
> a few traps, the mechanical kind
> we reach the main chamber, soaked in blood and other bodily fluids
> invincible semen colecting golens graple the rogue
> fade to black
> oh my, why isn't he fading to black
> jesus, why is the golen doing that
> WHAT THE FUCK, GOLEN, SEMEN DOESN'T COME FROM THERE
Then i ran. As fast and as far as i could.
Yet today i can hear that scene on my head.
I'm glad i got perma-DMed.

>>34412933

> a few traps, the mechanical kind

Why am I laughing so hard?

> fade to black
> oh my, why isn't he fading to black
> jesus, why is the golen doing that
> WHAT THE FUCK, GOLEN, SEMEN DOESN'T COME FROM THERE

So what was the golem doing?

File: Fifteen magic items and s(...).webm (2.91 MB, 720x480)

2.91 MB WEBM

>>34412821
Kamen Rider Kiva.

>>34413142
Lets say he got rock hard. On male droe butthole.

>>34413142
Probably lewd things involving his prostate.

>Dumb retard player in one of my games asks me to fill a spot in his game.
>Ok whatever, I'll powergame that shit and make my own fun out of it.
>We're in a big-ass city I have him the map for, but he's not using any of the city.
>The players have a quest to acquire 10 random monsters jizz or some shit, I don't know.
>We go to some big graveyard building for...something.
>He asked me fore the appropriate map, I gave it to him. It's literally a 3-story tall, 200~ room temple/mausoleum (from the setting book of the city he's using the map for).
>He uses the map. But guess how many rooms actually have things in the. No, seriously, guess.
>Fuck you, it's 6. 6 rooms. On 3 different floors.
>One has a dragon. Why? I don't fucking know. It's literally there so the DM can mean-mug us and have said dragon be nonchalant and whatever. One player randomly pipes up telling him we'll bring the dragon the demon-lord's head in exchange for his treasure, and I guess the dragon accepts. Why? Who the fuck knows, I guess a demon 3 floors away was pissing him off.
>Other room has like, 200 skeletons, all in perfect square formation, with archers at the back.
>And then there's a demon-lord on the top floor in a chair who gets his ass charge-cleaved before he can stand up.
>Player kills a necromancer with a critical hit from thrown zombie brain.
>We trade demon head for whatever magical items were on the player's wishlists.
>I never showed up again.

>>34410626
Who is this frenulum fiend?

>>34413366
>>34410940
Give it a rest faggot.

>>34413445
How about you tell me who that fucking cum dump is.

>>34413345

Stop being so jaded, faggot.

Your story is basically just "I didn't like it, I could DM it better." Fuck you. Get the fuck outta here.

>>34413494
Really? Have you ever gone through a dungeon with 200 fucking doors and had to open every single one of them just to find that they were all completely empty? I don't think you have.

File: 1330681381396.png (184 KB, 992x1880)

184 KB PNG

>>34412933
I was kinda expecting this to end a Aristocrats joke.

>>34412426
What's this from?

>>34413528

Stop exaggerating, nobody gives a shit.

I doubt you spent hours upon hours toiling through empty rooms.

>>34413557
>nobody gives a shit.
You clearly do.

>I doubt you spent hours upon hours toiling through empty rooms.
So your job here is to debunk stories? Shit, next time I'll make one up about how my DM makes a semen dungeon, instead of just describing actual shitty DMs.

>>34411855
so what is your native language?

File: 528.jpg (33 KB, 469x467)

33 KB JPG

>>34413627
Portuguese.
Huelander from glorious hueland.
It was something like "para chegar ao ventre da criação, pague vossa passagem com o liquido da vida" on the statue.

File: b713591615a1db9cf7c22ca79(...).jpg (37 KB, 510x351)

37 KB JPG

>>34413728

>>34413786
Didn't get the reference.
Kind of looks like lindomar.

>>34413835

Dunno the relevance but

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dJu1Jj7VTw

>>34413881
I'm on mobile right now. Will watch later.

>>34413728
... oh no, you didn't. Carlos, is that you?

We have this thread every fucking day.

>>34414658
Nope. You fail.

>>34414955
Heh, at least I tried.

>>34414769
And every fucking time it reaches the bump limit. Guess OP knows his audience.

>>34415010
What's this carlos story?

File: 1407879140723.png (96 KB, 600x295)

96 KB PNG

Minor gripe, but this happened recently
>Two player game, wizard and rogue
>Decided they wanted a frontline character, trawl taverns.
>Describe a couple of generic fighters and barbarians
>Party rogue says he doesn't want someone generic, we need a fucker with a scythe. >Preferably someone with heals
>Conveniently placed paladin of kord who uses a scythe and has lay on hands.
>Blandy McBland is his game -- He just fills the heal/frontline for the group. With a scythe, for whatever reason is beyond me. Hasn't said two words, despite how murder hobo the group is.
>Get called out today for having a self insert character

I don't even know anymore. I swear this player is trying to pick a fight with me.

Posted this in another thread, might as well post again.

>GM is a huge anti-smoking hard on
>Have a character who smokes muddle weed in game
>Don't really care about my GM's personal dislike of smoking, because why would he care if a fictional character is doing it
>Fast forward a year real world, in game six years have passes
>My character begins showing classic signs of lung cancer (constantly breathlessness, couching, lots of fluid build up, and more).
>Realize my GM has given me cancer for all my muddle weed smoking
>I'm a cleric
>Cast diagnose disease on myself
>Cast remove disease
>am level 16 at the time
>despite doing it multiple times, once on an off day preparing ALL MY SLOTS with remove disease I can't make the caster level check, even on a 20.
>I'm starting to call bullshit, cancer apparently has a retarded high DC
>My DM keeps telling me I'm getting worse
>My character has no idea that the smoking is causing this so of course he doesn't stop
>FUCK IT
>Buy a wish
>Wish away the disease
>GM throws a bitch fit

My GM is a great guy, but this was just odd. I didn't know he felt this strongly about it.

>>34415290
You should tell him an RPG isn't his mouthpiece for author tract.

>>34415290
>>GM throws a bitch fit
Man I'm generally pretty antismoke but this is hilarious.

>>34410626


>Playing DnD 3.0
>Playing a rogue.
>Guy's house got cursed., homebrew stuff.
>Search said cursed house.
>Find a weird arcane mark thingy behind the guy's bed.
>Can't identify it 0 spellcraft or knowledge arcane or anythign else.
>Fortunately, we have a wizard in the party
>Call him over
>Show him the rune
>DM to wizard player: Make a spot check.


It wasn't invisible or otherwise concealed beyond being behind the guy's bed, which I had moved away while searching the room. I pointed to where it was. There is no reason he would have trouble seeing this. It erupted into a half an hour long argument.

>>34415441
Maybe the gm made a bad call on something he didn't want explained so kickly?
Doesn't looks like that gm, bro.

>>34410626

And one more, as the DM

>Trying out that abortion that is the WoT D20 system.
>Some fun to be had nonetheless.
>One of the players pulls me aside, wants to invite a friend of his to the game, who "has trouble fitting in with other groups and would take it as a favor if I didn't go too rough on him."
>Uh-oh.
>Still, he's a friend, so I guess I'll give it a go.
>That Guy comes in with a character sheet.
>One "Venom Killerman", whose life bears little resemblance to the WoT setting aside from getting the geography more or less right, and seems to involve an anime styled swordsman school which he got kicked out of and is wandering the land, trying to show off how kickass he is.
>He has "the blade of doomness", a magical sword that is more powerful than the game statted 19th level character and resident messiah owns.
>He's 6th level, like the rest of the party.
>Getting ready to tell him that the story is ok, but he's going to have to turn his sword into simply a masterwork one, when I look again and see:
>Height: 1.45 cm.
>He is supposedly human.
>Ask if he meant 1.45 meters.
>Calls me a stupid American and that I shouldn't pretend to understand the metric system, since it's obviously beyond me.
>Friend in the second degree or no, tell him to get the fuck out of my house.

>>34415628
I'm giving the WoT abortion a shot, the fun is what you make of it but the system is just so odd.

>>34415752

Something just grates about it to me. I think it's that the caster balance is even more ridiculous than 3/3.5 DnD, but at the same time, still doesn't approach what the Chanellers can do in the books.


I mean, a good group and a good DM can make just about anything work, but mechanically, it just annoys me.

>>34410686
>lost temple of the birth goddess
If at least one door wasn't a statue's vagina, your DM was doing it wrong

And if it was a giantess's vagina they were spot on

>>34415823

anyone have the screencap of the goatse dungeon?

>>34415823
Every single one was a vagina.
I'm not proud of that memory.

File: notfaroff.jpg (8 KB, 259x194)

8 KB JPG

>>34413345

"
>Dumb retard player in one of my games asks me to fill a spot in his game.
>Ok whatever, I'll powergame that shit and make my own fun out of it.
"

This part. I lived this part with an awesome DM.

>We had a guy from the community college game club sit in with us.
>Greasy hair, would carry around his practice bag from some sort of weapons class, though he didn't have class.
>We always assumed he was living in his own anime world, the way he postured himself was just... odd.
>Joins white wolf vampire game, proceeds to explain to the few of us there while ST and his friends are driving up, how he made celerity his bitch and was breaking the system, had no toreador fluff
>Weakness to the Art of Phone Waiting Music. I shit you not.
>ST has arrived, but during his rant of how he is going to break the system in front of us and why we should just tweak a D&D game to fit WoD theme instead of using it.
>ST walks off, buys some lunch, comes back.
>Begin play

Beginning was pretty fun, took a good while to get That Guy in the party so we were moving right along. But the deer in the headlights look on the ST's face when the kid stands up.

>"Not so fast!" Literally knocking over his chair
>His vampire is atop a building, uses some combination of daredevil and cheese to jump down the fire escape without having to spend willpower.
>ST just looks at his sheet, purses his lips, then hands it back, and waits for him to continue.
>Guy joins group, gets IC up to date on objectives, starts leading the party.

This was annoying for a while, but then. The glorious happened.

File: Muscles.png (2.68 MB, 1280x800)

2.68 MB PNG

>>34416555

So, we get met up with an NPC Tremere (Vampire mage for the uninitiated). Kind of D&Dish Wizard testing us for merit of doing his super secret quest.

>Including fighting monsters in arenas.

It was kind of off base, fighting in a sewer cistern all these magical chimera nasties. The campaign hadn't been this way.

>But luckily for us, Cheesy McCheeserson was there to rape them all before any ever got a turn.
>Literal celerity death with a cane-sword-gun.
>Anime kid is leaping out of his chair regularily, ST looks more dead inside each moment, but drones on about the fights

The rest of us are kind of put off, but we tough it out. Finally, the Tremere brings us up, and Toreadora the Explora goes up to shake his hand, and wants to crush the 'boy's' hand.

>You go to squeeze, you feel him squeezing right back, harder!
>Well I spend a blood point to squeeze harder!
>He seems to be doing the same, his muscles growing as he spends even more then you!

Now, the Glorious. Our ST. A large man, easily 300 pounds, stands up and goes to do the pic related handshake with the toothpick boy.

>First awkward hand squeezing.
>"Wait, to truly do the poses we should step outside."
>Campus center is layered with windows, easily seen from within to 'show us.' Sounds dumb and we all roll our eyes as they head out.
>ST opens the door for Dora
>Dora steps out
>ST turns the switch to lock the outer door. >Walks back to table

"So, as the two embrace their handshake, 'I HAVE NEVER MET A MAN AS TREMENDOUS AS YOU.' 'MMM BULLY!' 'BULLY!' and with a momentous afterbirth of filth, they lower their pants and rocket out of a drain pipe by the power of the shit blasting out of their asses."

We all sat agape, and then pointed out "And then you all feel a jolt, you see a similar looking man to the Tremere ushering some odd looking man out of his room with a broom. He later apologizes, as that was just his assistant, a malkavian whom he is keeping safe as a pact with an old friend.

>>34416703

>The entire thing was a demented hallucination from the malkavian

Meanwhile. Dora calls campus security to get the door unlocked, though doesn't sic them on us.

>Dora returns, looking all huffy.
>ST calmly asks him if he'd like to try again.
>Dora calls him an asshole and just leaves.

The ending isn't as wonderful, but figure it deserves saying. So, yeah. There you go.

>>34415348
Unfortunately many GMs don't get the hint. Especially if said GMs are Christians or furries.

>>34415857
Please tell me some of them were enchanted with ghost sound to moan when someone went through them

File: shuckle is not comfortable.jpg (31 KB, 345x306)

31 KB JPG

>>34411855
>>34412255
>>34412933

Jesus.

>>34416555
>>34416703

What's a Toreador?
What's an ST?
What's a celerity?

Damn, I really don't know anything about World of Darkness

>>34418647
A type of vampire you can be
Story Teller. The DM/GM. Some games call it that.
PRetnetious wordy bullshit speed. Either running fast, or punching really fast, it doesn't matter.

>>34418689
Pretentious, wordy, bullshit for the word speed*

>>34418647
Toreador are the artist vampire clan. They are frozen in place when they see something beautiful, even if that something is a sunrise.

ST is Storyteller, World of Darkness for GM.

Celerity is the game breaking discipline of super speed.

And I learned all that from my ill-advised one-time participation in a LARP.

>>34418722
>game breaking
Don't even start. That guy always has fucking celerity.

>>34410785
is that a giant glass cube full of spooge?

File: 1407414892499.jpg (69 KB, 648x598)

69 KB JPG

>>34418813
Its whatever your heart desires

>>34418833
So a giant glass cube full of spooge?

>>34418803
Well, I'm not too familiar with the actual P&P, but Celerity certainly was immersion breaking.
When someone announced Celerity, everyone else had to move more slowly or stop completely.

I've noticed a lot of "That Guy" or "That DM" stories have one thing in common: the person telling the story never calls the bullshit. After the session, use your big boy words to talk to the offender instead of simmering for months on end about it.

>>34410626

My That Guy started rules arguments every session, taking up thirty minutes to an hour of everyone's time in a four hour game. If that weren't enough, he would also begin loudly complaining and become morbidly disinterested in the game whenever his character wasn't the center of the action for more than five seconds. He often spent scenes where he was not involved insisting that other people's characters obviously would and should be killed, so they should just give up.

Even when he wasn't playing, he would bring up arguments about how the next incredibly stupid, broken thing he wanted to do with his character was completely legitimate while feigning ignorance that he ever intended to use it (which he always did). He was easily the strongest player in the party until a new character came in, at which point he started wailing about his character being "fucking worthless", and how by extension everyone else was even more worthless and the game wasn't fun anymore.

Eventually, it just got to the point where I had to ask this person to leave, at which point he turned into an internet troll, playing WoW while frequenting his brony message boards. He still managed to make the time to ruin or at least attempt to ruin three other games in his free time that wasn't spent raiding. Three times, he built these god awful snowflakes whose bloated ego none of the party would accommodate. And each time, he failed to understand that his groups weren't "retarded" he was just "an asshole" who kept taking up hours of their sessions with rules and plot arguments.

God help me for my stupidest mistake in letting this guy back in my campaign, /tg/, because he fucking ruined everything within two weeks. He tore apart and shat on a year and a half of work that I had put in over a year and a half of getting hit with everything life could throw at me. Seriously, fuck that guy.

>>34418989
If they called bullshit then there wouldn't be much of a story.

>>34413557
>I can vouch for everyone on /tg/.
It wasn't a good story, but he was right to get out. That game was total shit. Not sure why you have a hateboner for people having decent standards for a game.

File: 1408458791784.jpg (84 KB, 700x646)

84 KB JPG

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Tales_of_Linus

I just left a group with a That DM.
His main issue was about not having understood that the game was about the players roleplaying heroes of their own story, not simple bystanders of his magical realm of hot fightin-wizard girl DMPCs, penis size rolls and omnipotent, lazy NPCs that railroaded us into nothing to save us from his poorly considered encounter choices.
All this, due to unexperience combined with arrogance.
Small examples:
>players are members of city patrol in huge metropolis, but also members of local LN cult (some players are divine casters)
>a horrible, bloody murder is discovered in a mansion, our PCs are sent to investigate
>arrive to find the place already checked by the council mages, two high level wizard NPCs that apparently have no spells whatsoever to find the culprit or any fucking clue, and their guards, who already checked the entire mansion
>player1: i roll to check under-
>DM: the guards already checked
>player2: i look behind-
>the guards checked that too.
>but-
>the guards have checked everything for clues and found none apart from two small objects (not leading anywhere). the mages have scryed but found nothing. but you can go in this part of the mansion, you casually stumble upon a diary they didn't notice

also:
>we patrol some city slums, people have been slaughtered in the middle of the road and no culprit in sight
>javelins start falling from the roofs, no perception check of our level can succeed against the unseen menace
>we eventually force the enemies to reveal themselves
>it's demons out of fucking nowhere, in a terribly overleveled encounter we cannot possibly survive
>sudden NPC gary stu edgy demon hunter appears and banishes huge threat with a single swing of the obvious artifact mcguffin blade he casually wields
>we interrogate him to confess how he could anticipate a demon spawning out of a fucking thousand places in a metropolis
>he cares not about our jurisdiction despite being LN, he's too edgy for us

cont.

>>34418989

Those "big boy words" you are talking about are sometimes very difficult to deliver without risking your social connections with the people involved at the table. As much as you may be a paragon of reason and understanding, for which I applaud you, other people sometimes have difficulties coming to terms with being corrected.

I am this DM (>>34418998), and I spent a large portion of my time getting my table to see the light. I addressed every complaint, calmly, rationally, and prepared to reach a compromise. My That Guy was a problem because he never wanted to see things from anyone's vantage other than his own, to admit he was wrong, or even to compromise. I am, in fact, rather certain that he enjoyed nothing better than "winning" an argument.

My attempts to explain how his habits were deleterious to the game and my flagging mental health were often responded with such quips of "No, you're wrong, this is obviously where you are the problem". The only time I refused to take no for an answer, that I was determined to make him see that he was the problem, was the day that he ended our friendship.

Could I have shouted him down before that point? Yes. Would the outcome have been better? Probably not. I don't consider myself an awkward person, a poorly spoken person. Some people are just hard to reason with, and that's where we get these great, terrible stories.

>>34419592
>all attempts to force him to cooperate with high level city guard officers against the demon infestation or to simply arrest him, are futile because he's THAT edgy
>he easily escapes everyone, even fucking mages, until I point out to that DM the complete list of wizard spells to move faster than a fucking running ranger
>then the wizard councilpeople arrive, capture him, hide the artifact in a safe place and sit to do nothing
>general wtf
>i flip the fuck out and decide this shit is going on for too long
>my PC announces "i quit the investigation as these fucking guys are already capable of doing it themselves but won't do anything" despite the DM saying that they have other things on their mind but finding no idea to support his words at the moment.
>i tell him this shit is a constant railroad and all the fucking people we meet in battle are simply spamming fireballs around the enemies we are supposed to fight to save our asses while acting smug, and denounce his farce as a shitty combat shonen with useless main witnesses surrounded by NPC mary sues all around.
>he denies all relations of beautiful wizard girl generals with full plate armor to his well-renown fetish (usually only as a player but now taken up to eleven)
>he blabbers about unconsistent rules of awesome that are based around his dull descriptions of everything he threw at us
>he asks why we are angry at the teen angst boy with a dark past of aristocratic demonslaying swordsmanship for not collaborating with justice
>we answer that we are angry for the same reason that we are currently trying not to kill most of arrogant NPCs, including oblivious aristocrat mentor who has visions of the next demon attacks but never contacts anyone to help stop the event, preferring to use his garystu and refusing to collaborate with justice on the pretense of being capable of handling this problem all by himself
>we then quit the shit as he tries to deny all the illogicity in the abovementioned shit

>>34410626

I've told this story a couple of times before, but it's a fun one.

>Playing this homebrewed campaign.
>We're defending this fort against Illithids.
>We fight off the first wave fairly easily.
>We fight off the second wave with some difficulty, as despite this being a fairly high medieval setting, they suddenly have fucking cannons.
>Third wave, they not only have more fucking cannons, they brought up guys riding on wyverns.
>Start wondering about retreat, through a magical portal we've got in the fort.
>"Oh no, you can't retreat now, you'd be charged with treason and executed."
>They teleport a small group of Ilithids behind us
>The fight starts to look futile..
>Oh yeah, you should totally run away now. How come you were trying to stick it out?
>Dive through the portal, somehow managing avoiding any deaths, although we're all quite fucked up at this point.
>Fallback point is a city, which has evidently been hit hard by the Ilithids, piles of corpses and fires everywhere.
>Meet the DMPC, hiding among the corpses.
>Introduces himself with the following. "Hail, brothers in arms. I am Dervish Petey, the one who fellates the giver."
>Attempts to leave him behind short of violence fail.
>LOTS of Ilithids, and none of us are in good shape, so stealth is the order of the day.
>Find this wand, but it doesn't read as magical, and we can't get it to do anything, so throw it away.
>Manage to creep our way to the city gates undetected.
>Ilithid on wyvern blocking the way.
>Smugly told that if we do anything to make noise, enough Ilithids will come to kill us all.
>He shoots down every idea we have to distract it or kill it quickly to sneak by
>Well, except the "ritual of blasting" which breaks the gate down and a randomly falling piece of masonry crushes the squid-head.
>Because that totally makes sense..

Cont.

>>34420041

>Manage to make our way back to a friendly fortress, still guarded by humans.
>Get in the front gate.
>Get locked in a sally port.
>Told in no uncertain terms that they think we're mind-controlled by the Ilithids, so they're just gonna leave us here to die.
>Since the railroad tracks are pretty clear, use the blasting ritual to blow up the gate, and slaughter the fort.
>Archmage senses the disturbance: teleports in, demands we surrender, we kill her.
>SECOND archmage teleports in, also demands our surrender. By this point we're pretty knackered, and we surrender to him.
>DM seems to be impressed, congratulates us on being able to tell which archmage was going to murder us if we had surrendered.
>Billeck (Archmage's name) tells us that we're getting our asses kicked by the Ilithids, so we need allies.
>Sends us to a fortress of the elves, with instructions to negotiate with them, try to get them in the war on our side.
>As soon as we get in bowshot range of the fort, before we get a chance to open our mouths, they open fire on us.
>Wipe out the elven fortress.
>As we're standing in the ruined citadel, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, a guy named 'Disco Joe' comes up to us, in this scintillating multicolored coat.
>Tells us that we completed the adventure, but failed to 'win' it, which is why some of the stuff didn't make sense.
>Remember those wands back in the ruined city? Apparently, we were supposed to somehow figure out that if we put 4 of them on 4 seperate runes scattered throughout the city (which we didn't know about), we'd trigger something "interesting" which would have allowed a full "win".
Tim is no longer allowed to DM at our table.

>>34418722
>going to a larp
you deserve everything you get

>>34420341
I was young and stupid and my best friend invited me.
It was a educational experience at least.

>>34419723
>People who inject their fetishes into their games/characters
How are people mentally okay with this outside of some shitty ERP game? What motivates this?

>>34416947

Atheists or furries, that is.

>>34420762
fuck off

>>34420645

They think they're being subtle about it? Question mark?

File: 1407234525385.jpg (62 KB, 548x556)

62 KB JPG

>>34416947
>Christians
Why the flying helicopter fuck did you have to say that?
You know what happens when you mention religion on the internet.
I'm catholic and hopefully never been that gm/guy. Never mix political/religious views on games with multiple people
yes, i'm butthurt
Fuck furries

>>34410626
Question.

How do I run a scifi horror game that focuses on body horror and purposefully fucking with the player character's bodies without going full thatdm.

Should I just warn then that, 'this wont be your average game'. I dont want to strait up tell them that bones will be jellifying they will be sprouting extra limbs

>>34413552
Voltasaur Team Kyoryuger the power rangers before the Train one.

>>34421038
what system?

>>34421089
dunno yet. I want to have more of the idea planned out first before I pick a system.

I got the idea when the whole party I was in was freaking out as one character was slowling turning into a full on Trent-dryad dwarf.

>>34421120
depending on the system you might not have to say anything first, for example CoC or most of the 40k rpgs that is just standard fare for what can happen.

>>34420645
I don't know but as a new player(only just finished 1 campaign I joined halfway and currently part of a second campaign) I'm learning quickly that until you know the GM's "style" go construct or undead so that you can don't ever have to eat anything funny, can't get raped(as easily) due to having no genitals and for the love of god don't have an animal companion until you're sure one of the other characters wont start imagining it becoming anthropomorphic and joining his/her harem even though the more logical result is that it suddenly realizes he/she tastes like food midway.

File: hurrr durrr.jpg (110 KB, 800x600)

110 KB JPG

>>34421210
>implying i can't rape robot
>implying i can't rape undead
>implying i can't rape spoopy skeleton
>implying i can't rape the hivemind abstract fetish of your party directed to your anthropomorphic animal companion
>implying i can't rape strange food that undead robot skeleton didn't eat
I will take that as a personal challenge.

>>34421357
But can you rape why kids love cinnamon toast crunch?

File: 023.jpg (164 KB, 549x349)

164 KB JPG

>>34421357

>>34421357
>as easily
It's almost like you had trouble understanding what was read.
At that point I pretend I was programmed by people in the 80's and go The only way to win this game is not to play at all.

File: rocket-poop-o.gif (1.21 MB, 320x240)

1.21 MB GIF

>>34416703

I know I'm late to the party but, pic related?

>>34421413
I'm not sure, but i might as well try.
>>34421456
Intelligence doesn't add anything to my grapple score.

>>34415258
>Get called out today for having a self insert character
How or why would that be an issue, anyway?

>>34421210
Of course, there is the downside where undead can be commanded and constructs tend to be a servant-type (though both can buck that trend and quite possibly should if they are adventurers).

File: Rapewreck.jpg (103 KB, 768x864)

103 KB JPG

>>34421416
>implying you can't rape the rapist

File: 1400619593482.jpg (14 KB, 300x200)

14 KB JPG

>>34421676
>rapewreck
>implying you can't rape the rapist raping the rapist
This will be rape 9/11.

>>34420777

Sorry Professor Dawkins.

>>34423145
It's alright, I've just been a little downs in the dumps lately.

File: fedish.jpg (24 KB, 303x312)

24 KB JPG

>>34421836

>>34412255

>Gods aren't active enough for paladins
>Fertility goddess is active enough for semen collection

>>34424230
A that GM of that calibre wasn't about to let his retarded worldview, that he shoved into anon's face with the setting, stop his magical realm.

Not saying that atheism is retarded, just that GM's worldview probably was. I mean, he thought that running that campaign was a good idea. There has to be something wrong with him on a core level

>>34424230
>Not just becoming a semen paladin

File: paladinsneednogod'.jpg (267 KB, 1017x1411)

267 KB JPG

>>34424269

Wasn't pointing out a flaw in the story. I'm no Phoenix Wright.

More like >>34424283

Failing that, pointing out that paladins don't need a god.

File: 13852187939.jpg (70 KB, 572x436)

70 KB JPG

>>34424283
>semen paladin
>mfw lay on hands
>smithing evil one bukake at the time

File: 1372731345670.jpg (11 KB, 225x225)

11 KB JPG

>>34416947
>>34420762
>>34420777
>>34423145
>>34423172
Let me amend this:
Especially if said GMs are stupid, or furries.

>>34424230
Don't question the glorious fedoramind of the GM! His edgy world has no flaws of logic?

File: Braçaro.jpg (34 KB, 400x529)

34 KB JPG

>>34424230
On GM side, it could be that those monsters, traps, golens and everything are just automatic collecting systems made by the acolytes centuries ago, and just sort of keep going on semen.

Anyone else play with the shitstain atheists, who assume since there is no god in their real world, clearly the gods are fake in the fantasy ones.

Yet in so many of these games, it isn't "you have to take it on faith that Lamashtu is making monster-babies," it is easily proved. Hell, any cleric can just be like, "LOOK! GODMAGIC YOU CAN'T DO WITH ARCANE STUDY OR TALENT."

The level of ALL GODS R BAD MM'KAY is so retarded, I'd rather them make a custom god called Cheesus Jrist and call him the savior of my soul and spout that level of garbage.

Their argument is set soundly in their ways that their very arguments are defeated in say, Golarion. Yet they continue on with as much dogma as any zealot even on a fake character. I have had people berate my inquisitors and such for having blind faith in a power that actually DOES do things for it's people, defends them and their own interest, and gives purpose.

And I don't believe in God (Not that that matters save for my point here). But my characters, living in any of the fantasy worlds where they have legitimate proof other then THE SKY IS PRETTY THEREFORE GOD EXISTS, can see it, so they will choose belief, even when not a divine servant.

>>34424830

I've had similar experiences.

>Player makes a god-killer samurai
>Gods have no place in the world of men.

Okay, I can run that sure. Red Mantises ahoy.

>Have npcs prod him on the deeper reasons.
>They're just petty mortals with more power that shouldn't have anyone following.

Alright.

>Not intentional, but campaign deals with rebel forces that are petitioning the group for aid. >Rightful but iron fisted ruler is taxing heavily to pay for a war they don't want fought.
>Samurai goes to the ruler, informs her about the rebels, and helps her set an ambush for them and the party who wouldn't listen to him and not get involved.

I was a bit shocked, but when the OOC happened...

>Well they need to respect their rightful ruler. He was born and raised to that position, he has the power for a reason. His family has earned it.

And then the party cleric went after him, months of jabs at him for his character's devotion turned on their head.

>"So, it is more important to follow a seated ruler and respect them, then one you elect to follow by choice who pays you in return?"
>Well I favor democracy over monarchy, sure. And it is always better then everyone can get the benefits but you need to be realistic <Cleric>, that is almost never the case.
>"Except with every God, Demon lord, and empyreal lord in existence."

His face went red as a beet, and proceeded to argue out of character about how that was beside the point entirely and how the cleric was off base to bring it up. Ended up shattering the night but it was just dumbfounding how off course it went.

>>34424830
There ARE good "dead gods/no gods here, buddy" type of plot/universe. Golden rule: Everything can be an excellent plot, if well executed.
Even drow, as much as i hate them after that GM
I'm catholic, if someone is wondering
And i still masturbate to weird porn, just keep it private and not on my tabletop. It's called tabletop for a reason.

>>34424830
>Anyone else play with the shitstain atheists
No, and I never will, because while I can tolerate a lot of bullshit, I'm not going to do so without good reason.

>>34425022

Oh I agree for world building, entirely!

I am speaking to the guys who join like in my case, pathfinder games, and proceed to put their anti-religion views from OUR world on every character they make.

I get characters will be influenced by their players view, but it is ridiculous to think that the same arguments apply in any alternate world.

But yeah, again I'm fine with godless worlds. Or whatever the hell your setting is. But people even with shit roleplay skills need to realize that you aren't the same person in every way in those worlds.

>>34425022

Why is the porn comment necessary?

>>34410626
>ctrl+f Semen

10 results

>ctrl+f Semen demon

0 results


you had one job /tg/, he fucking posts milky, the net fucking post mentions semen, but no one asks who is this semen demon

>>34425215
See
>>34410940
>>34413366

>>34425188
Porn is always necessary.
>>34425163
>but people even with shit roleplay skills need to realize that you aren't the same person in every way in those worlds.
Thank you. I needed to put that on words.

>>34425215
see
>>34410940
>>34413366

I was once that guy.

Long story short, I'd worked out how to break Shadowrun 4 - thoroughly. Our GM at the time was new to the position, and I ended up mostly invulnerable. Do you have any idea how boring a game is for everyone when one player is basically monstering everything you throw at them? And even when he's not subtle and gets picked up by the cops he's capable of murdering his way out after breaking out of the cells?

>>34425022
On that note: does anyone here try to play characters with world views opposed to their real world views? I think it might be interesting to try and get into someone's head (especially someone you don't understand), but don't play tabletop enough to justify experimenting. Maybe when I get a solid group, though.

>>34425297
Kill yourself.

>>34424830
Where the hell do you find people like that? I'm an atheist, but I've played a good cleric, and even the closest thing to a fedora-wearer I had in that group just roleplayed his wizard as giving me shit for cheating at magic.

>>34425309
Well, I am a atheist/maltheist/agnostic (something in that direction anyway) and sometimes play properly devout characters.

I don't think that really counts, though.

>>34425309
I have, see
>>34425550
I also don't drink, but have played an alcoholic halfing rogue, and am currently playing a character who is pretty power-hungry though irl I stand politically libertarian/borderline anarchist. The rogue also fit into the stereotype of being greedy and opulent, while I live fairly threadbare.

I've been lucky enough to have pretty awesome groups (it's always been friends->group, never the other way around), but I pretty much never play someone with my personality. Obviously some of who I am seeps through, but I roleplay to exit myself, not to keep living my current life.

File: slickback.jpg (77 KB, 1020x760)

77 KB JPG

>>34425619
>I am a atheist/maltheist/agnostic that identifies xirself as a brown cow on indian culture cis demi-ganesh
Fuck, anon... You got the tumblrs.

>>34425550

It is ALWAYS a second generation friend. Someone inviting someone else to the game to try it. I have only ever seen the worst Sperg-bergers in my experiences that way.

>>34425309
I'm athiest/agnostic/sincerelydontgiveafuckist and I enjoy religious characters of all stripes, from Frollo to Michael Carpenter, because I like playing characters that aren't like me.

File: The Tale of Halfling 1.jpg (1.49 MB, 1896x3186)

1.49 MB JPG

>>34425773
I get your point, but I don't think that's at all what he said.

Even so, anyone who describes themselves as 'malthiestic' gets blacklisted in my book.

To stay on topic, have a screencap.

>>34425773
I don't deny the possibility of the existence of a Greater Power, but I believe that, if it does exist, it is either uncaring or outright malevolent.
If there's a proper word for that, tell me.

>>34425933
It's perhaps the lore being the part which draws people in. It's something you never followed from birth but now have the time to understand.

>>34425952
Why is "maltheist" a blacklist to you? It's the first time I've seen that word but I'm guessing it means they believe gods exist, but they are malevolent. It's a little edgy, but he's entitled to his beliefs.

File: The Tale of Halfling 2.jpg (960 KB, 1900x3355)

960 KB JPG

>>34425952
2/2

>>34426028
Because I'm entitled to my beliefs too?
In my experience, they tend to show up in these threads. And not on the good side.

>>34426022
Well I am a huge mythology geek, I love all the different stories of creation and gods and their various petty squabbles, but I guess that's why I find it so hard to have faith when their are so many all just as unlikely to be real as each other. That's why I just try to be a good person.
That went of on a tangent but yeah I think it's a lore thing.

>>34426077
So you believe you're entitled to judge someone's character due to their religious beliefs? Very tolerant, if that's what your god encourages then maybe edgythiest has a point.

Also that text is tiny.

>>34426077
Live and let live, man.
I'm not looking to pick fights with people just because they have better experiences with religion than I do.
No reason to blacklist people just because they state one belief. Not all maltheists, atheists, Sony fans, vegans, etc. are annoyingly militant about it.

>>34425970
So, assuming the second of the two possibilities is true, a deity is, in your mind, basically a kid with a magnifying glass holding it up to the universe, channeling misfortune and disaster at random intervals?

I can get behind that.

>>34426270
Going by my personal experience, that sounds about right.

File: tumblr_liwfnqbtMm1qee77ko1_400.jpg (20 KB, 360x271)

20 KB JPG

>>34426292

>>34426233
Tolerance isn't everything, sometimes you've gotta be intolerant.

>>34426268
I think what he means is: "if the person defines themselves with that word, odds are they feel strongly on it, and it's gonna effect the game. Ergo, blacklist"

File: Beta Ray Bill.jpg (204 KB, 800x494)

204 KB JPG

>>34424830
I want to make a character like this, or at least an NPC who isn't an antagonist but isn't exactly an ally

>>34426402
You could say the same about any arbitrary label we slap on ourselves
>Christian
>Feminist
>Gay
>Conservative
If any of those labels repel you maybe you should judge people by their actions instead of being an intolerant dickbag.

File: itsraining.jpg (37 KB, 684x1100)

37 KB JPG

>>34426077

>Jay would see his mother again.

>>34410785
Is that seriously how they gain power? So does that mean we can understand that every time they aren't on screen the main character is getting head from their magic weapon thing in the hopes of coaxing a few more drops of power?

>>34426595
Generally speaking, a label means you are involved with certain actions.

Christians (are supposed to) follow the bible's code of conduct
Feminists support stronger women's rights
Gay means you commit homosexual acts
Conservative means you advocate conservative values.

If you can't include judgement based on 'labels', it could easily be said that we can only judge Hitler based on his actions outside involvement with the nazis. (still a terrible dude, but you get the point.) You need to understand that labels count, they define you, partly at least.

>>34426743
I'm this poster
Sorry for invoking Godwin's law, but when you get to moral extremes, you kinda have to use nazis

>>34426797
Ho-ho-hold up man, Godwin's law aside, how does that logic hold up? I'm assuming the people you play with don't actually kill people, and if they do you should judge the fuck out of them and probably call the cops. I merely mean you shouldn't assign traits to a person beyond what they say or do, as long as the group gets along and has fun they could worship the great old ones for all I curr.

>>34426743
But at the same time this means you can only pass judgement based on labels if you judge the exact same action that is associated with that label.

So no judging vegans for annoying others or maltheists for ruining games.

>>34426797

You're so off base you've left the diamond and you're on the football field mate.

>>34426918
German here.
Mind breaking that metaphor down for me? I'm not sure I understand it.

Unsure if That Guy or just a dude with a weird sense of humor.

>Character's an ex-soldier in the king's royal army that got involved in the court mage's affairs by special request.
>He learned to do some neat things, which manifests itself as levels in Psychic Warrior, because imperfect knowledge and soldiery training.

>No wait, character grew up as a nobleman's son and wanted SO BADLY to be a bard. Unfortunately, his father made him attend classes with the mage's university.
>Eventually, he learned some spells to listen in on the bards at the local tavern without having to risk getting in trouble leaving the dormitory. Later, he managed to start manipulating those sounds.
>Finally, rebellion truly kicked in. He got himself a LUTE, FUCK YEAH!
>But he turned out to be, as the peasants say, "stone-deaf," and the music he made was horrible.
>It affected him. Deeply.
>So now he uses his magic to unleash the power of rock with sonic-based wizard magic, aided by his lute of twanging.

>No wait, character's a catfolk samurai that speaks five different languages, none of which are Common.
>He uses his great-great-great grandfather's middle finger claw as his ancestral weapon, coated in steel to protect it from the elements and hilted so as to keep him from losing his fingers.
>It's a cat-ana.
>Also, he has an imperfect Speak Languages amulet that badly dubs and even-worsely lip-syncs him.

It never ends.

>>34426886
And that may work for you, but if you have a problem with people who do certain things, and mind you there -are- things that bother people short of being murder happy, why should you put up with them?

If you aren't tolerant of people who don't tolerate certain people, you are being intolerant. Why then does intolerance based on something you don't care about bother you? Is it that they are being intolerant of legitimate things, or that they are being intolerant of things you like? Mind you, this is subjective, legitimate for you may be illegitimate for them, and vice versa

>>34426901
Then judge based on knowledge of the association in question -and- personal conduct. You are right that we sometimes confuse personal and group traits, but at what point is what trait personal or group? It becomes a matter of sample size, if you've only known three maltheists, but every one of them ruined the game, are you ok to blacklist the group?

>>34424269
Thing is Gods abandoning all mortals the world slowly going to shit and a group of adventures trying to convince them to come back is a reasonable plot hook

>>34424283
We had a paladin who worshipped the God of Love.
His warcry was get on your knees and pray to MY God

>>34426985
Uh-uh, not allowing intolerance is not an act of intolerance, and if you assign certain traits such as "ruins games" to groups that are not related to gaming you are being illogical. How hard is it to just make your guy, roll the dice and do some adventure without making it political?

>>34415607

Yeah. This sounds more like a GM making an encounter too easy by misunderstanding the rules, and then backtracking when this inevitably backfired.

There's a big difference between bad GM'ing and That GM.

In my current PF campaign, we have a kleptomaniac rogue in our party.
He's the party's scout, which means that he always gets to see any treasure first, before the rest of us catch up with him after mopping up any baddies he sneaked past.

He constantly rushes ahead of the group and tries to pocket as much of the treasure as he can for himself before we show up, and then also asks for his share out of the party bank.

He very often steals from unaware NPCs, and while he hasn't stolen anything off the other PCs yet, I think that'll happen soon enough.
He often checks if anyone has unguarded possessions during his lonely night watch, but thankfully we're all very wary of bandit ambushes, and sleep with our backpacks under our pillows.

Between coins, small precious items and expensive magical items, he's been accumulating more than twice the loot than anyone else in the group, easily thrice if he found a way to inconspicuously fence all the jewelry he's got.

He even has a few magical items that are probably plot-important, some he doesn't even know what they are, but that he won't tell anyone about.
Usually because he stole them off one of NPCs, or off one of the treasure rooms before we walked in.

He's technically aligned Chaotic Good, but the only "good" act he's done so far was theatrically giving up his public share of the loot when NPCs were around and he already swiped a huge secret share, making himself look more generous than the paladin without meaning any of it.

We're level 6 edging on 7 and it's been like this all the way since the start of the campaign.
He hasn't been caught once, and in character, we're all unaware of his actions.
He always lies about how big the treasure is, and he gets away with it every time due to high Bluff rolls.

Is he That Guy, or would I be if I called him out on his shenanigans?
Should I talk this out with the DM in private and tell him to make his actions carry some consequences for once, like an alignment shift to CN?

>>34427046
No. But you're justified to calmly express suspicion.

>>34427114
Then you give them a fair chance to prove they can fit in, if they don't say goodbye, if they do congratulations you just made a friend! Treating them any differently due to the actions of others would be irrational

>>34427101
>Should I talk this out with the DM in private and tell him to make his actions carry some consequences for once, like an alignment shift to CN?
I think this should happen cause he's clearly acting out of alignment, but as far as actual consequences nothing should happen until he gets caught, he's just playing his character yo

>>34427101
The dude is playing his character just fine from what I've read, and if you have a problem with the character or the role then it's on a personal level due to jealousy or annoyance, but he hasn't DONE anything That Guy-ish.
That Guy would be if he slit the throat of the NPC rewarding you before you finish the quest, so he could steal the reward and rob the house empty.
Or argue with anybody demanding any part of the loot, and declaring himself the official banker of the party, in charge of all the resources, and subsequently losing them after running from a big fight because "they were a burden" and he blames you for not protecting them.
Etc.

This dood sounds cool 'nuff.

>>34427203
Sorry, I should add to that that I agree with >>34427184 in regards to changing him to CN. It's nothing to make a big deal over, obviously, but he isn't acting CG.

In a campaign I'm running I've forced a LG Ranger to turn CN because he'll shoot mounted robed figures passing him on the road "because suspicious" and he'll set off traps to have an excuse to kill monsters for XP, endangering the party, and he steals -everything- he comes across then whines when he can't do his epic ninja flips 'cause tower shield he stole is in the way.

I think he's close to getting his throat slit at night... hilariously, the LG paladin of justice and the LE magus of evil soul-stealing are about equally sick of his shit, and working together to get him to behave.

>>34427093
Many people don't separate in game and out of game, as some of the above that guy stories will attest.

Think about what you're saying: -why- isn't not allowing intolerance an act of intolerance? You are not allowing the intolerant to follow their beliefs, but this is a different act? I honestly, truly don't understand why you think like this. If you have some insight that I haven't come across, please share it, really. But I'm very skeptical of your position.

>>34427114
Again, going back to the extreme's of Godwin's law, but is it okay to put the nazi party in charge of another country, then? They only committed multiple attempted genocide the one time, really. Think about it.

>>34427256
Nazi's should be purged. With fire. But extremes do not exactly make for good discussion.

>>34427256
Me this guy ^

>>34427180
This guy has a good point, however I must point out that if they rightly bear a label, then they are in some way similar to the group they are labeled as. It isn't irrational to treat someone differently based on labels, but it may not be the full story, and that needs to be accounted for.

>>34426952
he said you're so wrong you're talking about an entirely different thing, or something to that effect. "off base" and "diamond" referring to baseball, and football field obviously referring to american football. two different sports.

>>34427256
If your intolerance means you treat certain people with less respect than others or you would actually harm someone because of your beliefs then it is perfectly acceptable to shun you.

>>34427326
Going by the images Google spits out, I assume "diamond" refers to the playing field?

>>34426964
I don't like that he doesn't seem to stick to one character idea for long, but that cat samurai one made me chuckle

>>34427303
I disagree, when you look at extremes you can nearly unanimously declare that thing bad. It's like everyone calling the smartest person on earth "smart" even if the people disagree amongst themselves who else is smarter than who. The nazis provide a definite evil, everyone is on the same page when we say nazi. If the Christians or the Buddhists were similar in near universal enmity, we could use one of them. If we say a more morally grey thing is bad, nobody is on the same subject, and therefore we can't rationalize.

>>34427310
If you assign them traits that they have not practiced yes it is irrational. It's the whole "all blacks love fried chicken" argument. There are black people that don't like fried chicken, but I'm not gonna judge them because good fried chicken is amazing.

ITT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgpytjlW5wU

>>34427391
But most labels we use aren't extremes. What's the point?
I don't want to argue that vegans are evil.

File: WSyIQpx.jpg (16 KB, 300x200)

16 KB JPG

>>34419055

This. Storytimers are the type of people who will let that guy burn it to the fucking ground if it makes for a funny enough story.

Pic too related.

>>34427358
Then it becomes a matter of what you say is harm versus what others say is harm, and your opinion means as much as that of the intolerant, sir, and their opinion is just as valid as yours. You are shunning them (therefore treating them with less respect), therefore you deserve the same fate, if this is a punishable offense.

File: 1236439473627.jpg (398 KB, 1920x1200)

398 KB JPG

Didn't see a thread like this already up, so apologies if you guys are sick of hearing this.

Sell me on 5e.

I'm skeptical, but willing to hear out arguments. I broke away from D&D about two years ago, after repeated frustration at 4e (it felt like I was running an MMO -- no substance, no roleplaying, just FIGHTAN). 3.5 was cumbersome at best, unplayable at worst, and got bogged down with excessive splatbooks and (necessary) house rules. I never played 1st or 2nd edition, so I have no experience to draw from there.

But! I just moved to a new area, and know that D&D is nothing if not popular. I want to have the ability to join groups and meet people. So, if it's not too much trouble, I could use a primer/pitch for this new game.

>>34427247
What if he is still secretly lawful good and acting this way to get the Magus and Paladin to get along, maybe redeem the Magus?

File: 1329439093565.jpg (270 KB, 906x1103)

270 KB JPG

>>34427388

Yeah, some are chuckleworthy.

Some are just terrible puns with a bunch of camouflaging details wrapped around them to make them look like actual characters.

The best ones are the ones he starts off with as a joke, then refines into something useful. For example, the catfolk samurai was a Samurai Pizza Cat before he started thinking about it.

But above all, it never fucking ends. And it gets worse the longer we go without running a game.

>>34427445

WHOOPS I meant to start a new thread. SORRY! Please ignore. I don't know how to delete posts because I am nub.

>>34427445
I tend to run 5e off the cuff, if I don't think the party would have fun with something I don't include it unless of course it's a vital step in making sure the party isn't gibbed

>>34427494

NO.

YOU STAY HERE NOW.

YOU SHAT IN THIS THREAD, NOW YOU SLEEP IN IT.

5E IS AWESOME BECAUSE IT'S TRYING ITS BEST TO BE FUCKING AWESOME. GET IT AND PLAY IT AND PROVE ME WRONG.

>>34427432
The point is that we can use extremes to model the less extreme. In science we use the mundane to model extremes, it's a similar concept. I'm asking whether someone can be justified for having the same attitude towards certain people as you have towards nazis, if to a lesser degree.

>>34427417
Again, nazis. At what point does group trait apply to the person. There were many nazis who defected or refused to commit atrocities, and those are special cases: they defy the labels. The labels do not accurately fit them, therefore the label is defective and therefore shouldn't be used on them. If you -do- exemplify the traits of the label, then it is rational to treat a person differently using the label, because you are addressing their personal traits as well.

>>34427445
It's features are:
>Less rules, more theater of the mind. Game actually encourages you to just use battle formations as "Rank 1, rank 2, Front Rank, etc"
>But if that turns you off, there are options used to help you use a grid, applying the necessary amount of tactics that you want
>Game is far more balanced now, especially from 3.5, and with more variations and uniqueness than 4th.
>Combat is streamlined mechanically. All the tiny +/- are replaced with Advantage/Disadvantage system which is the best thing since sliced bread, checks of any kinda are easy to make, and it just goes way, WAY faster now, while still giving everyone a chance in battle to act instead of the typical "One side kills a thing in one round"
>It has heavy encouragement on the Roleplaying aspect, including an entire chapter helping you make character flaws and personality traits, giving you mechanical advantages for your background and good roleplaying.
>fun

>>34427535
So, civilized suspicion? Yes, quite.

>>34427461
If that were true, he's a professional at hiding it IC and OOC.
"Ten NPCs jump out of the house when Paladin says she's a Paladin, and they scramble to their horses. All but one make their ride checks, that one is reared off and lands on his ass in the mud."
Ranger: I shoot him.
Magus and Paladin OOC: WHAT?
Ranger OOC: What, they just ran from us!
Magus and Paladin OOC: We don't know WHY though!
Ranger: Fine... can I take that back?
Me: Sure...
Ranger: I shoot his horse.
*facepalms all around*
The NPCs come back after seeing their ally left behind have his mount killed. They draw bows and the Magus and Paladin try to diplomacy their way out while the Ranger stealths into the cabin, steals some stuff, and begins to army-crawl out the back, leaving them to almost get shot at.
A week earlier, he had tried to justify killing a family member of a catacombs they had gone inside of, who was only there to look after his family's remains. Because clearly, he must be evil, if he's stopping the Ranger from robbing every pierce of jewelry on the corpses, while the Magus and Paladin are both telling him to respect the dead and slowing them down.

>>34427553
This... actually sounds appealing. You mentioned balance, did they manage to prevent a repeat of CASTER EDITION without making magic literally identical to everything else?

>>34410626

I don't know if it's a weird, inside joke, or a pair of That Guys who work together, but literally every single session, they'll find some excuse to chant in this weird sing-song tone, about some comment in character.

>That guy 1: Zeji is a whore
>That guy 2: But his mom is free.


Any attempt to get them to explain it so far has proven futile.

>>34427444
That's a circular argument, the difference between most people and the intolerant is that we don't assume any group of people are inherently lesser. Shunning someone that displays behavior that harms others is not discrimination. By that kind if reasoning it would be discrimination for a black guy to defend himself against the KKK.

>>34427553

>makes it sound like the first time they've even gotten close since 2E.
>but I also don't trust /tg/ or anything it has to say about anything

You're making this hard for me, anon.

File: im-bubble-tea-suck-my-balls.jpg (30 KB, 450x641)

30 KB JPG

So, I started a 7th-level Pathfinder campaign (naval, island-hopping, piratey stuff) half a year ago. I'm a university student, but I was playing with a table of total and complete fucking bros - all of them were tattooed stoners who barely made it through high school. Once I got over my prejudices, I realized how hardcore these guys RP'd after a few hits, and I was totally hooked on this new, fluff-centric style of gaming.

Not even joking. I could *heavily* impress these guys by pulling out simple props. A coffee-stained map literally caused their mouths to open. A couple of one-ounce silver dollars circulated the table three and a half times. A pre-computer age Russian-language calculus textbook caused the Wizard to smile with half-closed eyes for nearly two hours, though that may have been the weed. They always leaned in for my descriptions. When we went outside for smokes, the discussions always stayed on-topic (though not in-character), and frequently became heated. My campaigns never got this kind of attention from my usual crew (weaboo nerds).

Anyways, the downside to this was that these guys didn't like to read and, about a year after we started sporadically getting together for D&D, didn't know the rules too well. I was asked what the difference between an AC and a DC was quite recently. This guy had been coming for five straight weeks and had his very own PHB - as someone who'd been playing for ten years and had only ever had badly custom-bound photocopies and pdfs, it sometimes got to me.

But this guy was not that guy. This guy was ok.

That guy - a remnant from my old high school circle. Literally wears a fedora. Slight speech impediment causes him to rush and blend words. Wore a trenchcoat to a normalfag party. Continues to obsessively consume and memorize supplements after most of us had gotten over it (a little).

Anyways, I told them all to make non-OP characters, but didn't give any book restrictions.

>>34410626

>Adventurin.
>That Guy is playing a bard.
>When they get to town, passes a note that would like to perform at an upscale tavern, to "develop his character some".
>All right, if he wants to do this, fine.
>Gets in front of the common room, stands on a stool, and starts to sing:
>When you're sliding to first and you feel your seams burst... DIARRHEA!
>Announces he's rolling perform, gets a 17.
>Insists that the crowd has to love it because he rolled well and has a good perform skill in spite of the subject matter.
>Get into long, stupid argument about it.

>>34426656
It's one way (there's also bloodsucking), both usually only used when a Master isn't giving mana to their Servant the normal way.

Unless it's an adaptation from the Visual Novel, in which case you can enjoy a CG Dragon.

>>34427782
That's not that guy, that's hilarious. Also he's correct about the rules.

>>34421210
Warforge archer all day every day.
Even if they think they can fuck it you are too far away to let it happen.

>>34427658
This is not circular logic, this is actually pretty straight forward: if intolerance itself is actually a bad thing, then you can't fight it or you yourself are being intolerant. It is absolutely not a bad thing that a man defend himself. Is defending yourself limited only to life or death situations or does it apply elsewhere? If you can feel ok with yourself after kicking out someone who does something you don't like (ie. someone who doesn't like people with habits like smoking) they should also feel ok even after kicking out someone for some frivolous thing. There can be no double standards here, either personal judgement on right and wrong conduct can be exercised, or it can't, by you or anyone.

>>34427851
It's correct that he plays well.
Michael Jackson's a god damned amazing performer, but I hate the ever loving fuck out of him and his "music" despite it.
Doesn't matter how well you perform, the reception is open to the individual's taste.

>>34427871

I don't know. You could really ham the diarrhea song up if you have the cahones for it.

>>34427871
That's wrong though, if we're talking D'n'D that high roll means they love it.

>>34427906
Let's just say the dc goes up if the audience doesn't like the topic

You'd have to perform REALLY damn well to get a group of african americans to enjoy a very racist song. Typically, anyhow.

File: 1GcE7PE.gif (4.1 MB, 500x281)

4.1 MB GIF

>>34421210
Jesus Christ, how common is this shit?

The worst I've ever had with a DM was just some stupid interpersonal shit and generally them just acting like assholes.

Like, I keep seeing everyone on this damn board being obnoxiously selective about characters and shit, denying people outright or being stupidly mean rather than just saying "Hey, don't play this concept/whatever and here's why" as if it's the end of the fucking world to let people know there might be an issue before giving them shit.

I can't even tell what's bait anymore.

>>34427621

So far, yes. Every class has a thing they do, and so far, the only broken shit /tg/ has managed to find are questionable and awkward rules-lawyering to the extreme. Magic is not identical, but there is more magic in general. Each class has sub-classes you can branch out from, and I believe literally every class has a magic archetype that does it's own thing. Fighter gets Eldritch Knight which makes them like, 1/3rd of a wizard while retaining full fighter abilities. Monk can turn into the Avatar with way of the elements and gets some elemental spells as abilities.

It's also 100x easier to houserule cause the system is so simple in nature and everything is modularized. So even if there IS something you don't like about it, unlike 3rd or 4th, you can houserule it SO easily without breaking 90% of everything ever.

>>34427706
To be honest, this is a description I heard elsewhere but I thought was really fitting. 5th edition is the "Greatest Hits" album of D&D. It borrows the best-of rules from 2nd-4th editions and rolls them up REALLY well. I'm QUITE happy with it.

>>34427957
fuck wrong image sorry

Have a Bard who's sleeping with everything he can.

Slept with a half-giant(twice), a number of humans, almost got a Drow, flirted with a Half-Ogre, and is working out how to fuck the Sprite he just met(and seduced), potentially wasting the Potion of Reduce Person we just got.

Though it was funny when someone went "Holy shit Bard, keep it in your pants." and his response was "Hm...well, that's one idea." Took a second for the group to egt that one.

>tfw bard is me and this is probably how my GM feels

>>34427861
Smoking is a bad example, it is their choice to smoke and provided they smoke away from the group it harms no one (except the smoker) and in that situation the DM would would be the intolerant one. If someone said during the game "I BELIEVE GAYS ARE SINFUL AND WILL ALL BURN IN HELL" that would detract from the game and upset people, so it would be reasonable to not play with them.

>>34427983
Are you fading to black or making everyone sit there through your excessively lurid descriptions of how you're porking a bunch of imaginary people?

>Bro wants to run pokemon tabletop
>Fuck yeah make a pokemon ball smith
>That guy rolls some powergaming aura warrior that is stronger himself than our starter pokes
>Whole group wants to do old pokewar vets
>Feel like the one ruin the fun as the closest thing to pokemon trainer in the group
>Fight team rocket and win
>They leave several pokeballs behind
>That guy rushes up to snatch them
>Opens them without a second thought so he can get the Pokedex new entry XP
>The arbok is released and immediately bites him as team rocket mons tend to do.
>Rages on and on about it shouldn't be able to act so soon
>Proceeds to stomp the arbok until the Dm tells him he won't allow that.
cont.

>>34427945
Yes, but provided he beat the DC the Gentry would love his song about violent anal expulsions.
WHEN YOURE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE AND IT SLIPS RIGHT OUT YOUR BUTT DIARRHEA!

>>34427766

Each character was to be made with 24-point buy and 3000 gold (legendary stats but very poor).

Long story short, I didn't even have to worry about it. Everyone made straight, un-multiclassed, core rulebook race/class characters with boring feats and options but amazing, diverse, level-appropriate, setting-appropriate, and hook-ridden backstories.

Everyone, that is, except for that guy.

That guy didn't even make a backstory. His 7th-level character did, however, have the ability to fly (at will), continuously change his appearance, get +15 on Diplomacy checks, summon Eidolons, bind them to him and use their hp as temporary hit points, and cast some kind of entangle-on-crack (black vines?) while flying and invisible.

It is here that I must admit that I don't know the pathfinder rules very well, but that had never mattered up to this point.

After owning everything for about three hours, he finally attempts to attack the one thing I will not stand him attacking - the other mainland-styled ship with three decks and five cannon that just happened to be at the very same, remote, un-marked, unmapped, crescent-shaped isle with no port populated by (Caribbean-influenced) natives with no knowledge of such advanced technology.

The party was blown off-course in a storm during the prelude, and I was going to have some kind of guild rivalry subplot going. Anyways, this genius attacks the captain, who I had earlier introduced as a suave, well-dressed mofo with a gigantic, nigh-neon glowing crimson feather in his three-point hat that the ranger had correctly identified as coming from an enormous, very rare species of Cockatrice native to the Middle Underdark. I even insinuated through OOC metagame during a smoke break that this guy's level was "very high."

>>34428004
Nah, it's fade to black, or at worst a quick mention of how it went(like the time I shattered my pelvis the first time with the half-giant).

>>34427989
And to someone who honestly believes what you said, there may be little to no distinction between smoking and homosexuality.

>If someone said during the game "I BELIEVE GAYS ARE SINFUL AND WILL ALL BURN IN HELL"
can detract just as much as smoking can be for some people. In this case it is just as legitimate to eject both cases, in some people's eyes. One criteria can be traded for another, something that is distracting or some is welcome for others.

In this discussion, you do not get to declare what is and is not tolerating, we must use purely objective terms. Now, issue agnostic (that is, without coloring from opinion), is intolerance of any form acceptable?

>>34428013
>Tells that guy he can just return the pokemon instead
>Says no he wants to kill the thing
>Start ignoring him until he pouts and runs upstairs
>Next session rolls around he keeps going on and on about throwing the team rocket pokeballs into tank nozzles or just actively wanting to destroy them
>Ignoring intensifies
>I go about catching a caterpie
>Dm rolls on the chart and I get a shiny
>Fuck yeah
>That guy pouts even harder and keeps rolling sneak checks to swipe the pokeball from me
>He gets it eventually
>Opens the pokeball
>Caterpie uses tackle on him
>He rages and throws us all out of his house

File: watch what you bard.jpg (67 KB, 1065x327)

67 KB JPG

>>34428082

>>34428064
Out of curiosity, was your campaign Skull and Shackles?

Because if it is I think I can see exactly where this is going and I'm going to laugh my ass off.

>>34424830
I'm an atheist, but I've never understood equating fantasy religion with IRL religion. It's pointless, just because I don't believe in some supreme entity in real life doesn't mean that I can't stomach there being gods in a setting with trans-dimensional travel, magical robots, and giant biologically unfeasible firebreathing wizard-lizards.

>>34428104
Yikes, my grammar sucks

Edit:
"It is just as legitimate to eject both cases, in some people's eyes"

*for

>>34428133
I've noticed that people who are athiests tend to be super fine with Gods and Demons in their stories, and I think a major reason for this is most gods in fantasy worlds don't tend to have a hugely negative after image from all the shit that was carried out in their name. I.E. if these gods existed in real life, people would have no problem following their teachings.

Just my personal 2 cents though.

>>34428128
I'm sure I'll come to regret it someday.

Plus I've got the Half-Giant's brother(as someone's replacement PC) ith us, so I have to be careful when getting my Bard on around him.

>>34428104
Yes intolerance is unacceptable, that's why I'm not morally obligated to associate with people who openly spout hatred. To say that is in itself is discrimination is woefully ignorant.

>>34428189
IT IS BY DEFINITION DISCRIMINATION! YOU ARE DISCRIMINATING AGAINST SOMEONE FOR THEIR VIEWS AND ACTIONS!

THIS IS ACCEPTABLE! BUT YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE BEING A HYPOCRITE! YOU ARE BEING INTOLERANT OF SOMEONE WHO IS INTOLERANT! THAT. IS. INTOLERANCE!

Let's back up a little. As the party paddled out in their landing craft to meet the Chief and his half-dozen black-skinned warriors who had just stepped out of the palm trees and were striding knee-deep through the coastal waters to meet these second arrivals, that guy FLIES out of the landing craft, flies right up to the chief, and "assumes his appearance."

So, this guy is mimicking the Chief, who by now suspects powerful voodoo. The party manages to talk these natives out of slaughtering their flying doppelganger buddy.

Anyways, RP goes down on the island, the captain of the other ship is suspicious, thinks these new guys were sent to spy on him. Dusk falls, the captain and his party go back to the ship without leaving, the players stay on the island. A large owl is seen flying from the other ship to the players' ship, where it circles harmlessly overhead.

Immediately, that guy flies up to it and interposes himself in its path. The owl crashes into him and begins combat. Once wounded, it attempts to fly back to the ship.

That guy follows.

The captain and his crew (inc. high-level band of adventurers) are now fighting That Guy, by himself. That Guy manages to entangle the entire top deck of the ship through his vines, while flying around and dodging bolts from the crews' wands and crossbows.

The entire combat, the rest of the party is desperately paddling their landing craft (no other means of transportation) to the now-enemy ship

As That Guy begins losing the fight, he begins heavily implying that I'm fiating (I was), saying helpful things like "are you sure he's still up buddy? I did about 70 damage to him last round" and "I don't hit with a 32? Wtf?"

Long Story short, the party had been sitting out for three hours, I plausibly kill his character, he leaves without making a scene, our personal friendship is permanently damaged because he made an OP character in a party full of noobs when I said not to.

~FIN~

>>34428238
I never said it was discrimination to judge someone on their actions, in fact the crux of my argument was that you should base judgements on their actions and behaviors, not the labels they apply to themselves.

>>34428129

nope, homebrew. will check that out though

also, this

>>34428273

replies to this

>>34428064

>>34428288
And I pointed out that labels are a result of your actions. Calling yourself gay if you're not is stupid, nobody does it, because it isn't accurate. Labels and past actions have a correlation.

>>34428288
Applying a label to yourself is an action.

OH BOY,TIME FOR MY FAVORITE STORY
Its not very long, but its the last time I played a game in public,Ive yet to find a group after this
>Show up for a low level 3.5 game,3 or 4?
>Create a Dwarven Druid
>Rest of the party was a gnome wizard, two human somethings and an elf ranger
>Standard 'You meet in a tavern' start, Im excited since I havent gotten a good game in a long time
>Party introductions are going around, and we run into our first questgiver
>Church asks us to go retrieve a McGuffin from a fairly distant city and bring it to them for safekeeping before an advancing orcish horde can ransack the city
>Aight,I can work with tha-'And these two will escort you'
>Cue not one, but TWO DMPC's to 'guide' us to the city
>Okay, well I guess it will go alright, maybe?
>We get traveling, we have to go up a mountain pass to reach the city
>We reach the mountain late at night, and its a good sized thing so we decide well establish a camp and go up it in the morning
>When we get close, we find a pair of bards trying to repair a wagon, I offer my help
>We get it repaired, and the bards are all like 'Dinners on us' and they get some food cooking and some music playing
>Turns out those guys multiclassed into Dickwad
>They Sleep all of us, and take little bits of our money before running for it
>Not even that much, like 15g from each of us
>Why the fuck didnt they rob us blind, whatever
>Next day, discover the bards previous work and get climbing
>Its getting late just as were reaching the pass proper and a few players decide to scout ahead just in case, while me and the gnome prepare lunch
>The two DMPC clerics go with them
>So, it turns out theres a FUCKING DRAGON guarding this pass
>Not just any dragon
>Its motherfucking Not-Tiamat
>The clerics SOMEHOW know that the dragon can only fight what has seen it, and Blind all the party members there, which was everyone except me and the Gnome
>Meanwhle,we decide to play cards, the girl has a good poker face
Part 2 incoming

>>34428340
Gay does imply a particular behavior yes, but not a negative one as homosexual acts do not cause harm. People that advocate that homos should be killed for homos are causing harm, and I'm not obligated to invite those people to my game table as they could harm myself or my friends. This is a very simple situation, are you sure you're arguing in good faith? Either way we're derailing far too much here and we should end this.

File: 1408717629519.jpg (43 KB, 640x480)

43 KB JPG

I hope you both realize that right now, both of you are being that guy.

File: stewie.jpg (63 KB, 561x401)

63 KB JPG

>>34428420
>So, the Clerics go full 2hu, fly into the air and start fighting the shit outta NotTiamat
>This would be a good time to mention they were BOTH LEVEL 22
>I'll repeat that anyone who was witnessing this was fucking blinded
>I lose more gold to the gnome in poker, and we catch site of the dragon and the clerics flying around blasting the shit outta each other
>The clerics kill the dragon and say some 'Baw poor noble creature' stuff
>There is now a giant dead dragon blocking the mountain pass
>DM lets us lose, we brainstorm for a bit before I suggest just tunneling through its innards
>Imagine what must be inside those guts! Dont waste the kill, after all, use all the parts nature gave you
>DM seems to quickly realise how terrible an idea it would be to hand ancient dragon materials over to a 4th level party and the CLERICS Disintegrate the body, just like that
>The rest of the game is totally uneventful, including such moments as 'Oh no a 10 foot gap seperating us from the MacGuffin, what are we going to do?'
>Clerics refuse to just fly us across the gap
>Good think I bought ladders!
I made sure to never make contact that DM again

>>34415441

I remember you. You reminded me of that 4-part story of the worst DM I ever had who's very grins ate the shit from bowels, who could never describe anything to save his life.

>>34428238
>This argument
I remember when I didn't realize the only way to fight intolerance wasn't to go up to them and hug them and let them carry on with their faggotry.

That's not the attitude that kept russian paratroopers off my lawn.

>>34424269
>Not saying that atheism is retarded, just that GM's worldview probably was
Duh, Atheism in a world with active gods is dumb.
Atheism in a world where gods very explicitly interacted with the world then abandoned it is dumb.
I think what he wants is Anti-theism. Which is not the same as Atheism.

>>34428155
>I think a major reason for this is most gods in fantasy worlds don't tend to have a hugely negative after image from all the shit that was carried out in their name.
Except the evil ones.

>>34427445
>>34427496
>>34427553
>>34427621

Does anyone have the Dungeon Master's Guide for 5th? I wanna try and set up a game for my niece and nephew. They are pretty smart, so they'll probably catch on pretty quick.

>>34428594
Yeah, but they're upfront about being evil, so that appeals to the edgelords.

>>34427391
>Nazis
>evil

Chaim pls

>>34427782
simple, they loved it because it was stupidly funny...and ya know he rolled a 17

>>34427837
How do girls give male servants mana

>>34427959
/tg/ doesn't usually make me mad but earlier someone was arguing that RAW meant fireball can't actually damage enemies I got mas

>>34427989
Technically they only go to Hell if they perform homosexual acts and/or don't confesz

>>34428857
Pfffft, that's a new one. What logic could POSSIBLY lead to that conclusion?

>>34428360
Surely a free action

>>34428608
Not out yet. There is a starter set and players handbook available and free rules on the website

>>34428894
Argued that fireballs explosive effect wouldn't hit anything but the point of origin because the target of the spell wasn't the creatures. Was happy to admit that they were specifically stated to have to roll a save but not for damage. I was so mad

>>34429030
Oh god, that might be my fault. I think I said something similar to that facetiously to point out how stupid that fucking mage-horse was.

>>34429077
Well as long as you weren't being serious I'll forgive you

>>34427851
To a point. The GM is free to adjust DC's for subject matter. It is even pointed out in campaigns such as Kingmaker, that subject matter will add even up to +20 DC if you are casting certain things in a bad light, or an easier DC if you are being patriotic in a military town.

It is almost as if the game is attempting to make some simulacrum of a reality!

File: the fuck is a yellow dragon.png (390 KB, 905x4232)

390 KB PNG

>>34413345
Well looks like you got a "crazy random adventure" group.
It's not really "That Guy" if the whole group is on board.
If you knew him, you could've prepared beforehand to stop caring like picrelated and had a moderately amusing time.

>>34429541
>What the fuck is a yellow dragon
everytime

>>34429680
Actually while digging through the archive for this picture, I found that there WAS a legit published yellow dragon.

https://archive.moe/tg/thread/32205344/#32216744

>>34429705
>https://archive.moe/tg/thread/32205344/#32216744
>Salt breath weapon
That's actually kind of legit. Will eventually use/10

>>34429719
It would be extra hilarious if any of your group have heard that story.

>>34429737
only one other person in my group is a fa/tg/uy, so probably not. I do enjoy Desert themes, though.

File: young-dro-fdb.png (258 KB, 617x320)

258 KB PNG

>>34413218
pic related, it's my dro

>>34428273
So basically it's your fault for not saying 'no' to his character in the first place? Got it.

>>34429719
Is there an accompanying dragon that vomits vinegar?

>>34430355
The vinegar comes out of the other end.

>>34427383
Yes, one plays baseball on a baseball diamond.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baseball_diamond

>>34430355
There's a dragon that vomits sand at people. I'm sure all kinds of crazy shit has been homebrewed as well.

File: i-af9260561b961bdfaea688b(...).jpg (94 KB, 700x1040)

94 KB JPG

>>34428839
Most Masters just kind of touch their Servant and directly transfer mana to them. Shirou was a really shitty mage and couldn't do it, hence why he had to go with the semen method.

As for the cube, yes that's an entire litre of semen. That was just a model of what the artist wanted to do - a cubic meter of semen. I think the intended artistic statement was something like a celebration of human existence by having all these sperm from different people mix together or something like that.

That project was happening when FSN was all the rage so I suggested on /a/ that if this cube was created, it would be the ultimate weapon for the Holy Grail War, although you better watch out if your servant finds out about it because then can then kill you and live off the cube.

Incidental it was actually mentioned somewhere in the Fate universe that you can indeed buy potions of 'mana' off down on their luck mages looking to make some quick money.

Be honest /tg/, you would play a setting where semen was the sole source of mana/magical fuel

Not really a player being that guy, just being committed to his role to the point of folly.

>Guy was playing a barbarian who couldn't read and didn't understand the customs outside of his mountain village. His people are firm believers in the 'rule of the jungle'
>Ignorant of wildlife outside of his mountain village
>Party was crossing the ocean on a boat
>Attacked by pirates, PC's board the pirate ship and kill their captain
>Pirates surrender
>Barbarian lines up all of the surviving pirates and, after inspecting them begins throwing them one by one into the ocean while they beg for mercy
>Sharks that had been attracted by the blood in the water go into a feeding frenzy
>Pirates death screams and pleading to not be thrown overboard attract everyones attention.
>PC's watch in horror as the barbarian throws another overboard and demand to know why the barbarian is doing this
>Player turns to the party and says with a straight face 'my character has never seen the ocean, he doesn't know what a shark is' and tosses the next pirate into the sea.
>DM rules it is an evil action to continue but accepts his excuse
>Player stops thinks about it, hands the remaining pirates knives and throws them into the ocean
>Party and DM stare in shock
>Player shrugs 'I gave them a fighting chance.'

>>34410804
Do it ffs.

>>34431634
I don't see the problem here

>>34429541
Don I remember another post where he said he actually had a lot of fun

>>34431675
Here:>>34411855

>>34431696
He says that in the beginning of the last post.

File: 1408885263495.jpg (229 KB, 800x800)

229 KB JPG

>>34430979
>art heist campaign
>police arrive
>gunshots everywhere
>Big Good policeman takes cover behind the spermcube display
>player critical hits
>spermcube is kill
>big good policeman is covered in stale semen
>the PCs escape
That would be an awesome climax.
Get? awesome CLIMAX? haha.
He wouldn't see that cumming
Haha, i'm funny.
So rowry

File: Killermanlaser[1].png (316 KB, 714x399)

316 KB PNG

>>34415628
This is a unforgivable disgrace to the name Killerman.

>>34410734
Thats the best thing I've ever seen. You get an internet today sir.

>>34430979
Would you take a dip in the semen cube?

We haven't started and I'm already getting red flags.

>We're getting high
>Tell him a mutual friend and I are looking to start a group for D&D 4e
>Says he's interested
>Excitedly bring out the books and let him flip through to see what he likes
>"Yeah so he's playing a human wizard."
>"I want to be a wizard!"
>Explain to him why I dont want too many casters for balanced play, and every class in 4e is on par
>Says he wants to play a high elf, cause, haha, high, get it?
>Tell him we're going to smoke during games, but it's not drug centric.
>Says he'll play a dark elf thief instead.
>Set him up with a Rogue Drow
>"Can I backstab -friend-?"
>"I mean, yeah, but I rather--"
>"Like steal his shit and stuff? I want to kill him in the end."
>"Well the end is going to be pretty far away, might not even live."
>"Yeah but all my guys will be evil."

>>34413531
That is glorius

>>34431929
He's excited to give RPing a try and you shut him down because "muh balance". You sound like a massive cunt.

>>34431929
>>We're getting high
You put up the flag yourself.

Come back and redo the character concept on a fresh head. Once the character is set, it is easier to follow when high.

>>34431929
>>We're getting high
>>Tell him we're going to smoke during games, but it's not drug centric.
You fully deserve whatever's coming at you, junkie.

>>34424830
Sounds like an imagined up scenario where you get to call other people faggots, despite it never happening in real life.

>>34425469
We all have our low and shameful moments, anon.

>>34425309
Yes, that's called roleplaying. Have you read about it?