>>35372806
"It depends how you're viewing it."
"The definition of homosexuality is two people of the same gender having intercourse, which in Ervin's case is two women having sex, so he is correct."
"However, WATCHING, two girls having sex as a man, is, in most cases, not homosexual at all. Which, in Lloyd's case, is also true, since he is simply watching it from a different perspective other than the normal Porno camera."
"So, you're both right in a way, but you're also both wrong."

>>35372806
>Take Lloyd's side, whatever that is.

>>35372806
>Write-In
You both are being faggots right now. Both of you are wrong, lesbians are gay AND straight at the same time.

>>35372912
This.

>>35372912
Seconding

>>35372912
And then a tumblr kid happens by and objects to saying gender.

>>35373039
>>35372912
Oh, sorry, you're right.
>The definition of homosexuality is two people of the same gender or sex having intercourse, sexual relations or feelings

They really are both being faggots.

>>35373061
Who says both womyn identify as women cis shitlord

>>35373112
Then it technically wouldn't be homosexual by definition.

>>35373137
This only confounds the problem then.

>>35373188
Not exactly, since no one in this issue is not identifying as women, and for the hypothetical scenario we're assuming that these are two very cis gendered women

>>35373222
Wait, would it make it less gay if one of them was a tranny? Since it would be straight sex, but technically it would still be two women.
This is an important question.

"Depends on how you look at it," you explain, "homosexuality is sexual relations between the same sex, but watching two girls having sex isn't homosexual at all. You're both right, but you're both also wrong. Mostly, you're both being faggots."

"Wow bud, college sure made you pretentious."

"Seems someone tumblr'd into his own asshole and couldn't find the way out." Lloyd and Ervin high-five each other. This is how your lunches together usually go. Well, it seems that brought an end to whatever they were arguing about, and you can move onto more important discussions like whether dwarves are better than elves. Ervin pays the bill for you three, in part out of friendship but mostly to show off his big wallet and you set out to le-

"Oh, Ervin! Hey hey, Ervin! Over here!" What's that? It sounds like a cute girl. Ervin doesn't know any cute girls, Ervin is married to a fictional galactic bounty hunter! You turn your heads to the direction of the voice, to see a slightly chubby woman approaching. She's got that secretary look to her. "These are your friends?"

"Yeah." His face curls up a little, it's a weird look on him. "This is Lloyd and-"

"Oooh, I've heard of you two." She grabs your hand in both of hers and shakes it. Her black hair is cut short and her eyes are big and blue, she looks a bit childish despite her clothes. "I'm Lucille, I work with Ervin." Your meeting is brief, and your friend is uncomfortable the whole way through. All the who's in Whoville said that the tree in Ervin's butt grew three sizes that day, but that's a story for another time. Right now...

"So, so, who was that? She was cute, a little on the heavy side but that's not bad." Lloyd pokes Ervin in the cheek, imitating a curious housewife.

"Fuck off, faggot."

These are your friends.

>Bully Ervin
>Leave Ervin alone

You didn't bring your car with you.

>Ride home with Ervin
>Ride home with Lloyd

I made a mistake choosing that brand of skub.

>>35373273
It's weird.
If they identify as a man, and are attracted to the woman, that wouldn't be gay.
BUT, if the other woman identifies as a woman, and is attracted to the other because they are a woman, and not because they identify as a male, then it'd technically be one-sidedly gay.
Fucking weird topic.

>>35373307
>Leave Ervin alone
>Ride home with Lloyd

>>35373336
I think we may be thinking about it too much.

>>35373307
>Bully Ervin
>Ride home with Lloyd
You're not escaping without explaining Ervin.

>>35373394
Wait, bullying means talking to him about that shit? If so, agreed.

>>35373307
>Bully Ervin
>Ride home with Lloyd

Hey you know what? We need a theme-song, like every good protagnist/character. Anybody got any ideas?

>>35373625
I'm just gonna put my suggestion as this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCmTJVew_tY
See, the theme music makes seem cooler than we actually are!

>>35373625
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kTBbTSjZpI

"Is she your giiiiirlfriend?" You prod at Ervin's other side, opposite of Lloyd.

"Do you liiiiiike her?"

"Do you want to maaaaarry her?"

"Fuck off, we work together, that's all."

"Ervin isn't very professional, Mr Martinello is profession, boss is half-professional, Ervin is what you say when you're discussing whether or not lesbians are gay," you tell him. Ervin glances over at you, adjusting his glasses awkwardly, he takes a few seconds pause to breath before speaking.

"She's in my guild..."

"WAIT! WAIT! Lucille? Like, Lulu? In Erquest!?"

"Who? What? What's going on." Lloyd seems to have figured something out and you want the details.

"Get this, Ervin's married to that chick in-game! Oh man, I'm going to tell everyone I know online and offline!"

"It's professional! You get bonuses for marriage! The rates on in-game real estate are cheaper!" Ervin protests, but it doesn't dumb down Lloyd's laughter. Frustrated, the man grumbles before getting into his car. A decade of some since you've met him and he's still blushing over little things like that.

"See you online then," you say, waving him off as he drives away with a finger sticking out his window. These are your friends...

"Man, did you see how red he was?" As you take a seat down in Lloyd's car, you're forced to roll down the window to get out the smell of stale smoke. It doesn't make a big difference, he lights up a cigarette as soon as he buckles in. Unlike his loud avatar, Lloyd's got a fairly plain look most of the time. Some stubble, and half-combed brown hair.

"How often do you smoke in here? Your ashtray is more than full and there's sludge in the windows." There's a fair black tint to the glass of Lloyd's car but it doesn't hide the filth.

"I can't smoke in front of the kids, so I have to make do here."

"I can't believe they let you teach," you say, bringing a shrug to his shoulders. The ride is smooth, your lungs--less so.

>CONT

>>35373700
Aww our little Ervin has a crush.
Bug him about it all the time
ESPECIALLY when the girl's near him

>>35373700
oh man, he is never going to hear the end of this until he asks her out for real.

>>35373653
Eh, that makes us seem like some edgy souleater dude. That's much better suited for someone else.

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"I'll see you online," Lloyd tells you, dropping you off. It's around the late afternoon, but the sun's still well and out. You send off your friend and return to your apartment, there aren't so many steps in the small complex but each one is a reminder that you're stuck here... at least, until you go there.
It's quiet when you get home, the neighbour couple must be out partying--it's one of their on-weeks. You haven't seen that girl around at all, but she's not really any of your business. What is your business, is grinding out those levels and picking up some new pets.

You log into Erquest, you've gotten used to this now. It's an instant moving from your small room into the vast other world... there aren't any milestones you have to reach, looks like you've got some time to jerk around. Little boxes float to the corner of your vision, notifying you that there're points you need to spend.

>You have two stat points to spend, your current stats are [3 STR], [2 DEF], [3 SPD], [1 MGC], [2 RST], [0 LUK].
>You have three class points to spend. You can access all Warder skills and the first three tiers of Diviner skills.
>You have one profession point to spend. You can access the first two tiers of Tamer skills.

Let's see, what will you do today. You've got a few outstanding quests, but there're plenty of dungeons to run. Looks like Lloyd and Ervin haven't gotten on their characters yet, but Pixie, Leah, Raven and Yzz are all floating around.

>[Quest] Feast for a King - The fat king of Granrose demands food, you must help the kitchens prepare him a feast!
>[Quest] Rabid Rabbits - Some big rabbits have been devouring carrot people, they must be stopped.
>[Dungeon] Lair of the Sharkmancer - A mermaid princess has been kidnapped by the Sharkmancer, you must go save her!
>Write-In

>>35373936
>>[Quest] Rabid Rabbits - Some big rabbits have been devouring carrot people, they must be stopped.

>>35373936
1 DEF
1 MGC

Rising storm
Babbling beasts

>>35373936
1 LUK, 1 DEF, 1 MGC

Still Existence
Future Strike
Big Feeder

>[Dungeon] Lair of the Sharkmancer - A mermaid princess has been kidnapped by the Sharkmancer, you must go save her!

>>35374029
Seconding that

>>35373936
>>35373936
ALL THESE CHOICES
>2 MGC
>FREE SPIRIT
>SPLIT BODY
>BEAR HAMMER
LONG RANGE FISTS ARE A GO
>BABBLING BEASTS
SEEMS INTERESTING
>[Dungeon] Lair of the Sharkmancer - A mermaid princess has been kidnapped by the Sharkmancer, you must go save her!
MERMAIDS

>>35374039
oops forgot one
Split Body

>>35374104
We can only do two stat point increases.

>>35374104
ah thats where I got mixed up

LUK/MGC then.

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738 KB PNG

>>35373936
How are our slime girls anyway? Growing big and large?

>>35374075
this

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488 KB PNG

"What're we doing?" asks Silver, your pet crawling out from your sleeves.

"Let's punch something!" Gold babbles, coming out the other. Unfortunately your slimes aren't much to look at yet, they're a little bigger but still some feet too small and far too blob-like to call goo-girls.

"We're going to rescue a mermaid from the Sharkmancer." You prod Silver where the nose would be if it had one.

"Fish, fish." The newest addition to your team, the horrific cross between a baby chick and some ugly salmon pokes its head out from the chest of your tunic. For better or for worse you got it from a little adventure awhile back and named it Fish for lack of a better idea. You'll need more than three small animals and your fists to do this job though, you'll need to make a party.
The max size is five, including yourself. You could just gather the friends of yours near your level, but it might be nice to have someone big and strong to fall back on. From what you've gathered, Leah doesn't journey without Isaac but everyone else should be good to go however you set it up.

>Invite up to four...
>...Ervin the Crusader
>...Lluthania the Enchanter
>...Pixie the Hunter
>...Raven the Sorcerer
>...Yzz the Brawler
>...Leah the Braver and Isaac the Summoner

>>35374384
>...Leah the Braver and Isaac the Summoner
>...Yzz the Brawler
>...Ervin the Crusader
We hung out with Raven a lot, let's hang out with some other people.

>>35373936
>LUK
>DEF

>Future Strike
>Earthshake
>Divine Union

>Monster Rancher

...but I'm already too late, aren't I?

>>35374384
>Yzz

>>35374384
>...Pixie the Hunter
>...Ervin the Crusader
>...Leah the Braver and Isaac the Summoner

we havent seen Pixie in a while.

>>35374446
oh, we can pick more than one.

add in:
>Pixie

>>35374384
>Yzz
>Ervin
>Leah and Isaac

Hey while we're waiting for Librarian wanna have a mini jam thread? I'll start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvWM55zDbv4

"So what's a Sharkmancer any ways?" Yzz asks. Your group of five has met up north of Granrose, in the drowned valley separating Anman lands and Human lands.

"A mancer of sharks, presumably," says Isaac, Leah walking behind him cautiously. Odd, you'd think the other way around with her having the big sword and him carrying a long staff.

"Then what's a mancer?"

"Someone who does magic, obviously," Ervin answers. You'd tried messaging Pixie but it seems she's off chasing fairies, quite literally it seems.

"What the hell is shark magic then!?" For whatever reason, Yzz is getting frustrated with the answers. She sticks her dark arms above her head, waving them around.

"The kind of magic sharks use," you tell her. The Drowned Valley appropriately stands between two cliffs, the border of two countries is a land in itself, but so the story of the game tells you, it's been long caught in an underwater civil war. There's ground enough to walk, but a poor slip into the running rapids could pull you to who knows where. The Lair of the Sharkmancer sits off to the side, a split in the streams pulls into a conspicuously shaped cavern, with jagged rocks forming an predator shape. "Why is every cave in this game shaped like an animal?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" You weren't asking Yzz but she answers any ways, not to any help though. You enter the cavern smoothly, a flaring light eats your vision as your body moves to the instance inside...

>CONT

Sorry, got distracted for a little bit.

Not so many steps into the cave, the brown stone of the valley takes on blue and white colour. The split of the river further divides, drawing dozens of different paths through the maze-like complex.

"Let's get to know what each of us does before we continue, I don't think we've introduced ourselves properly yet. I'm Ervin, a Crusader. I'll be our primary tank."

"Isaac, bartender, part-time Summoner. I'm specced to do... anything really."

"Leah, Braver. I stab things."

"Aste-"

"We know who you are. Just punch whatever and follow my lead." Ervin must still have his panties in a knot from this afternoon. "Yzz, you're a Brawler right? I need you t-"

"CHAAARGE!" Yzz yells out, running out ahead of the party and around a corner. Ervin and Leah freeze, taken aback by the Noman girl's attitude. Isaac chuckles, seemingly amused. Before you can act, Yzz's voice echoes from further ahead. "RUUUUUUN!" she screams, seconds before you see her coming back from around the corner with shark-headed fish-folk chasing after her, waving around tridents.

"Well then..." Isaac waves his staff around, and a large horned dog steps out from the air behind him, intercepting one of the shark-men. Leah and Ervin are quick to get on point, but...

"SHIT! SHIT! FUCK!" Yzz slams right into you on her return, and it seems one of the mobs has slipped past your vanguard chasing her. It leaps up, jumping down with its tri-point first.

>You are [Balanced].
>Your health is [Full].

>[LIGHT] Slip out of the way, and retaliate.
>[HEAVY] Draw your Bamboo and lance against the trident.
>[GUARD] Turn over, protect Yzz.
>Write-In

Rolled 2, 5, 4 = 11 (3d20)

>>35375063
>[HEAVY] Draw your Bamboo and lance against the trident. Lion Fist too.
We have to roll right?

>>35375063
>[GUARD] Turn over, protect Yzz.

>>35375063
>[HEAVY] Draw your Bamboo and lance against the trident.

Lion fist the trident. Disarm or stun chances.

>>35375115
Course. And up to three skills a round.

Rolled 14, 9, 16 = 39 (3d20)

>>35375156
>>35375115
Then do a Balanced Strike first then Lion Fist. Also reroll

Rolled 8, 18, 20 = 46 (3d20)

>>35375156
Supporting Balanced Strike to Lion Fist.

why is Yzz so cute.

>>35375361
Shes a guy.

>>35375407
That's even better.

Your Bamboo Lance forms into your hand as you jet your arm up and forward, the tip of it clashes into the space between the trident's points. Pressing harder, you invoke your [Balanced Strike] and carry the tip of your spear forward, past the shaft of the trident and against the shark-man's chest. The trident slips inward at the same time, but it just harmlessly stops with the center point an inch off your nose and the sides hovering not much further from your eyes.
Now with your weapon caught against the shark-man's body, you swing it wide and upward, your [Lion Fist] is invoked, summoning forth a majestic shape that tears the shark-man through the air, and leaves him flattened against the floor behind you, alongside his weapon.

"All without getting up!" you say, quite proud of yourself.

"I could've done that!" Yzz still lays on top of you, she smacks the balls of both her hands against your chest a few times before getting up--and dashing over to the stunned and dropped enemy. She kicks it a few times, until it fades into light. "Come on! You and me! Let's compete!"

"Right now? You want to duel right now?"

"NO! We're going to see who takes out more sharkmanders! I'm at one!" That was totally your kill.

"A little help over here!" Ervin yells, three shark-men jabbing against his shield with repeated, light thrusts.

>You are [Staggered].
>Your health is [Full].

>[LIGHT] Draw one of the shark-men and wear it down.
>[HEAVY] Leap into the pile of shark-men and clear them out!
>[GUARD] Slip into the battle, and support Ervin.
>Write-In

>>35375553
>[LIGHT] Draw one of the shark men and wear it down.

>>35375553
>[HEAVY] Leap into the pile of shark-men and clear them out!
I SEE NO DANGERS IN THIS PLAN

Rolled 14, 14, 8 = 36 (3d20)

>>35375656
ROLL

>>35375553
>[HEAVY] Leap into the pile of shark-men and clear them out!

Guys, don't forget we have future strike. Decent balance recovery, since it seems we can't kill them in one round anyway.

>>35375553
>[HEAVY] Leap into the pile of shark-men and clear them out!

Have we died yet? Cause I don't remember MC ever respawning.

>>35375731
oh yea, Future Strike, and then finish it next turn so she cant steal our kill!

>>35375731
WELL THEN FUCKING QUOTE THE OP AND DO WHAT YOU SAID
AND ALSO DON'T FORGET TO ROLL WHEN MAKING SUGGESTIONS

Rolled 8, 19, 20 = 47 (3d20)

>>35375689

The man among men that you are, you leap into the pile of shark-men. One leg stretched forward and one leg stretched back, your bamboo lance over your head; you're an angel of war and you've taken flight.
One of the shark-men bites your out-stretched leg and drags you down without missing a beat, his buddies peel off of Ervin quickly to get in on chomping on you. Thank god this is virtual, because it'd probably hurt a lot more if it were real. Your health shrinks in fair, repeated chunks and your screen flashes red each time they attack.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?" Ervin yells. It takes you a moment to collect yourself after hitting the ground head first, but a fierce swing of your fist into one shark-man's snout sends it flopping backwards against the stone. Ervin sighs, swinging his shield fiercely into another one.

"I was being manly!" Doesn't look like your health-bar is too bad after all that, the exchange did more to them than it did to you... still, things could be better. One of the sharks is still gnawing on your leg, but a few fierce stomps send it flattened. You make sure to collect this time, so that Yzz doesn't get the one up on you.

It seems most of their numbers are cleared out now, but there's a few left to go through. Leah and Isaac seem to be having little trouble on their end, but two of the three sharks near you still stand. They kick their feet against the bluish-white dirt, before lunging through the air at you with their top-fins facing up.

>You are [Unbalanced].
>Your health is [Medium].

>[LIGHT] Dodge between them and swipe wide with your lance!
>[HEAVY] Charge straight at them, two fists to two sharks!
>[GUARD] Get behind Ervin and retaliate when he catches them.

You guys and your rolls, or lack of. I took a few liberties on this set since I didn't want to rewrite everything on the second roll, hope you don't mind the fiat.

Rolled 16, 2, 19 = 37 (3d20)

>>35376088
>[HEAVY] Charge straight at them, two fists to two sharks!
LETS DO THIS

Rolled 17, 17, 15 = 49 (3d20)

>>35376088
>[GUARD] Get behind Ervin and retaliate when he catches them.

Rolled 6, 8, 13 = 27 (3d20)

>>35376088
>[HEAVY] Charge straight at them, two fists to two sharks!

If you lose an arm, you can just put it back on. If you lose two arms, you can just have someone else put them back on--there's nothing to worry about! You rush the sharks, and swing each of your fists fiercely into them, you can feel their bodies sinking as your arms tear through. It's over in an instant, there's not enough left of them to make a soup.

"Seeeeee that?" You turn around, a big grin on your face. "Manly!"

"That barely worked out. Barely."

"Three for me then."

"Fuck you!" Yzz sticks a tongue out at you. Looks like Leah and Isaac have cleared out nicely on their end, they come to join you. Combat has ended, and both your balance and your health is returning...

Although it takes a bit of work to rein in Yzz and stop her from spilling blood in the water, the dungeon progresses smoothly for the next while. A pull here, some bait there, and a lot of fish-related puns all over. You notice the water creeping up your bare feet as you descend deeper into the dungeon, your reflections show between your footsteps.

"What're you at?"

"Twenty," you answer Yzz.

"Pfffft."

"You?"

"...also twenty." You haven't been counting her kills, but the way she said that doesn't sound too reliable--it doesn't help that she's glancing away with her count.

"Since we have some time, let's chat a little. How do you know each other?" Leah asks, her plated greaves kicking up water as she walks.

"Aster and I are old friends," Ervin explains.

"Yzz tries to kill me, mostly." What else do you know about her, she's angry and she cries easily... hm, that's it isn't it. "You and Isaac?"

Isaac doesn't answer, he's been quiet the whole time, just tagging along. Leah takes some time to think over the answer. "We live together, actually."

>Bother Ervin about that Lucille
>Ask more about Yzz's life
>Get specifics on Leah and Isaac
>Write-In

>>35376756
>Ask more about Yzz's life
PLOT AND BACKSTORY

>>35376756
>Bother Ervin about that Lucille
>Ask more about Yzz's life

>>35376756
>Ask more about Yzz's life

>>35376756
>Ask more about Yzz's life
I like Yzz.

>>35376756
>Get specifics on Leah and Isaac
Curious about how they treat AR headset stuff while you've got a roommate (or more than a roommate, we dunno.) Do they log in to bug each other about stuff if one of them's already in-game or what?

>Write-in
Might be worth mentioning that Ervin bugging us is the reason we ended up trying this out in the first place, maybe see if we can get an idea of how they all got started.

"Living together? A couple then?" Ervin puts on a little frown.

"No, no! Not at all," Leah says, blush creeping up her face, "we're just splitting the rent right now."

"You're paying rent?" Yzz's question carries an innocent ring to it.

"Of course."

"Aster and I live alone, though we shared a room in college."

"Huuuuuuh. Must be fun living with a friend, I want to moooove oooout."

"What's it like where you are Yzz?"

"I'm uuuh, living with my parents..." Her voice is a little soft there, she hides her face away. You can't see any red on her ash-like skin, but you can certainly hear the embarrassment.

"You're in high school right now?"

"...no."

"College?"

"...no."

"...tough economy huh. Tried finding a roommate?"

Yzz shifts her golden eyes to you, her lips curl as she finds her words, but it's a weak noise that escapes--barely enough for you to hear it, probably not enough for anyone else. "I don't have any friends..." It's half a complaint, half something else. "Aaah! Who wants to pay rent any ways! Let's go punch that Sharkmander!" She marches on ahead, her arms swinging with her step...

...at the end of The Lair of the Sharkmancer, is the aquatic-wizard himself. His sanctum, a round room with an grand pool in the center, you see no end to it from the top. He has the skull of a hammer-head, and his more feral brood circles the pool between him and you. Hanging far above, a vaguely feminine silhouette, hanging in a steel-barred cage.

"Weeeeelcome, HEROES! I am the SHAAAARKmancer, and you--shall blee-"

"I hate this speech, I hate this dungeon, let's clear it and get out." Ervin readies his hammer.

"INSOLENTS!" The Sharkmancer yells, his greyish robes fluttering behind him. He waves a half-human hand forward, and from his finger-tips... sharks rocket forward!?

>[LIGHT] Run around the sides of the pool, dodging projectile predators.
>[HEAVY] Leap across the pool at The Sharkmancer.
>[GUARD] Deflect the sharks with Split Body.

Rolled 14, 7, 13 = 34 (3d20)

>>35377291
>[LIGHT] Run around the sides of the pool, dodging projectile predators.

Rolled 18, 9, 1 = 28 (3d20)

>>35377291
>[LIGHT] Run around the sides of the pool, dodging projectile predators.
Rising storm and future strike

Rolled 14, 4, 20 = 38 (3d20)

>>35377291
>[HEAVY] Leap across the pool at The Sharkmancer, while using foresight, then LION FIST, and finally BALANCE STRIKU
THE ULTIMATE COMBO

>>35377291
Man, Yzz is too cute. We'll be her friend.

>>35377474
She's in middle school, dude.

>>35377497
Doesn't mean we can't be her friend. Just not in a weird way.

>>35377497
And? You're the sick one if you thought I was speaking sexually.

Thinking fast, you duck behind the combined guard of Ervin's shield and the cover of Isaac's emerging eidolon, a white sleek turtle-like shape. You start a run along the side of the pool, cutting distance between you and The Sharkmancer in the initial distraction.

"What's this, it seems a little MINNOW has crept past the net!" The Sharkmancer turns to you, and swipes his hand up, two sharks with steel-plated hammer-heads burst from the pool, they spin around in the air in their flight, but you're too fast--they're too slow, they come nowhere near hitting you when their faces crush the stone they meet.

"Future strike," you whisper to yourself, a brilliant amethyst glow taking to your hands. "RISING STORM!" you yell, as you swing your fist into the gut of The Sharkmancer.

"Huuuurg- what? Hah! That didn't hurt at all, I SWIM freely!" Not so much, at the end of his words the storm starts, wind funnels around his feet, the initial gust blows up his robe and he covers himself for unnecessary modesty--the second wind comes lifting his body, and pulling him airborne.

"Goooood, he's annoying. Who talks like that?" Yzz comes in from the other side of the sanctum, with Leah some steps behind her. Looks like they've left the adds to the veterans. "When's he uuuh... coming down?" You look at the up-lifted sorcerer, he continues to spin round in your bit of fist magic.

"Heh.... heheh, Sharknado." Leah giggles to herself, stepping into place to make a triangle around the spinning Sharkmancer with you and Yzz.

>You are [Balanced].
>Your health is [Full].
>The Sharkmancer is [Lifted].

>[LIGHT] Play it safe, pummel him with [Split Body] [Balanced Strikes] while he's stuck.
>[HEAVY] Wait for his descent and [Lion Fist] to try and keep him locked down.
>[GUARD] Set up [Stone Wall] and [Warding Hand] while you have time bought.

Rolled 14, 3, 1 = 18 (3d20)

>>35377740
>[GUARD] Set up [Stone Wall] and [Warding Hand] while you have time bought.

Rolled 14, 5, 20 = 39 (3d20)

>>35377740
>[HEAVY] Wait for his descent and [Lion Fist] to try and keep him locked down, the use [Foresight] and finally [Balance Strike]
ULTIMATE COMBO

Rolled 9, 2, 2 = 13 (3d20)

>>35377740
>[HEAVY] Wait for his descent and [Lion Fist] to try and keep him locked down, the use [Foresight] and finally [Balance Strike]

Rolled 1, 20, 7 = 28 (3d20)

>>35377740
>>[HEAVY] Wait for his descent and [Lion Fist] to try and keep him locked down.
I would also like to either harass him with Split Body attacks or set up Stone Wall before he lands.

Using Balanced Strike with Split Body is mostly pointless (aside from the speed boost from spending Balance), since Split Body uses MAG for damage and Balanced Strike gives a STR bonus, and we don't even have Warding Hand unlocked yet.

We need cool/ridiculous sounding names for when we pull off multiple skills like above.
Maybe BALANCED SPEED LION STRIKE for >>35377860
And LION STRIKE ROAR or LION SPIRIT WALL for >>35378013

Diviner looks like it wants to be at lower balance. A good half of the skills seem to combo fairly well at dumping it for big magic damage, then becoming a fortress for a turn or two.

The winds split and the tornado vanishes, from on high The Sharkmancer drops, his head first. You draw your lance and spin, swinging up and at him with it, your [Lion Fist] erupts from the ground and meets him... but his hard head snuffs it out, and it takes a quick step back to avoid being struck in his drop.

"What was that!? That was so wimpy! Here's how it's done!" Yzz cracks her knuckles, facing the now upside-down wizard. "Dragon Claw!" She spreads her fingers wide, and her hand catches fire when she swings in fiercely forward; but before she connects, The Sharkmancer's hand jerks out and a ghastly finned tail smacks her across the gut and shoves her onto her bum.

"I uuuh... huh, that was weird." Leah blankly stares. "I think I'll just wait this out, I don't want to break a nail."

"THIS IS VIRTUAL! YOU CAN'T BREAK A NAIL!" Yzz gets up, shouting furiously. "What the hell was that!?"

"Shark magic," you answer. Well, for better or for worse you didn't seem to have been able to do any meaningful damage this round, you hold off on the [Balanced Strike], but you activate [Foresight] in preparation of the next. The world around you seems to slow, but you can see the forward-blurs of The Sharkmancer jumping back to his feet, and the soon-to-come lunge of his head straight at you.

>[LIGHT] Hit him with [Split Body] [Balanced Strike]s as he approaches and dodge at the last moment.
>[HEAVY] Duck underneath him and try a second [Lion Fist]
>[GUARD] Catch The Sharkmancer in a [Stone Wall] to give room for your companions to act.
>Write-In

Rolled 10, 8, 2 = 20 (3d20)

>>35378249
>[LIGHT] Hit him with [Split Body] [Balanced Strike]s as he approaches and dodge at the last moment.

Rolled 20, 9, 8 = 37 (3d20)

>>35378249
>[HEAVY] Duck underneath him and try a second [Lion Fist]
ALL HEAVY ALL DAY

Rolled 5, 6, 6 = 17 (3d20)

>>35378249
>>[GUARD] Catch The Sharkmancer in a [Stone Wall] to give room for your companions to act.

Rolled 4, 17, 4 = 25 (3d20)

>>35378249
>>[GUARD] Catch The Sharkmancer in a [Stone Wall] to give room for your companions to act.

>>35378249
>>[LIGHT] Hit him with [Split Body] [Balanced Strike]s as he approaches and dodge at the last moment.
This looks like a heavy attack.

Light beats heavy.

Rolled 13, 14, 16 = 43 (3d20)

>>35378249
>[GUARD] Catch The Sharkmancer in a [Stone Wall] to give room for your companions to act.
He's got a hard head, so it's going to be a waste to hit him from the front as he approaches.

Either ducking under to strike or holding our ground so the rest of our people can attack on less well-protected angles seems justifiable, and the latter feels less risky.

Rolled 8, 1, 18 = 27 (3d20)

>>35378288
>>35378302
>>35378324
YOUR DICE-FU'S ARE WEEEEEEEEEAK

>>35378417
YOUR'S IS PRETTY GOOD THOUGH

>>35378418
>nat 1

Also, threadly reminder that this is a rock-paper-scissors system.

Light dodges heavy
Heavy breaks through guard
Guard blocks light.

>>35378474
Still beat everybody I quoted there though.

You lift your foot, and you wait. You can see the trail of his flight, the path it takes, the destination--the faded forms in the air, your vision tells all. At the last second, when his head drops on level with your gut, you stomp. The bluish-white stone of the cavern sanctum floor springs upward, it catches The Sharkmancer in the gut and all his momentum vanishes. Fast as he is, he's no match for you; he bounces--flops into the air, then back down on top of your summoned stone wall. "Now!", you shout, "hit him!"

"Don't need to tell me that, jeez!" Yzz steps forward, her body drops and she touches her palms to the ground before somersaulting above the held enemy. "Break Lightning!" Her leg comes down, an executioner's swing coupled with falling thunder, there's a crackle in the air when she meets the mage's back and a shattering noise when he's driven straight through your wall.

"Uuuuh, Brave Strike, I guess." Leah steps forward and lazily swings his sword at The Sharkmancer thrice. There's an orange streak that accompanies it but... it's hardly heroic. "Okay, is he dead now?"

"NO! That was the calm before the STORM! And here comes the TSUNAMI!" Still stuck on the ground, The Sharkmancer bats his arms against the floor. The pool in the center of the sanctum spirals and grows, and in a count of seconds it bursts out. The Sharkmancer's body drops below the water, the surge carrying your party upward.

"Oh my god, I'm wearing armour! I'm going to drown!" Leah yelps, splashing helplessly on the surface.

"I can't swim! I can't swim!" Yzz cries out. Neither of them seem to be sinking though... game mechanics, you write off.

"This is why I hate this dungeon, water stages are shit." Ervin sighs, swimming over to you. Isaac calmly rides over, dry and seated on his white turtle.
The slab of rock you separated from the floor pops up from the water's surface, making a small platform beside you.

>CONT

You can see the shadows of sharks circling around you, the blubbering laughter of The Sharkmancer echoes through the enclosed space.

"This is the second phase of the fight, it doesn't take much to kill him but... keep your health up."

"Why's that?"

"The shark spawns will tear up people with low health, how's everyone doing?"

"I'm fine, so is Leah," Isaac says, bringing his turtle over to the armoured woman and pulling her onto its back.

"I'm okay," you tell them, "Yzz?"

Yzz gives you a look of horror, gulping down her breath. "I... took some damage earlier." You can see the shades circling towards her...

"That's fine, because you'll all SINK soon!" The Sharkmancer raises from the depths, free of his robes. Serrated fins come off of both of his elbows, he bares a toothed slasher smile on his hammer-head. He surges through the water at you, his mouth opening wider and wider as he approaches with the waves following behind him; and in the same moment, four sharks leap up over Yzz.

"That's not magic at all!"

>You are [Diminished]
>Your health is [Full]

>[LIGHT] Swim to catch Yzz, prioritize taking out the sharks.
>[HEAVY] Rush into The Sharkmancer, your allies can watch your back.
>[GUARD] Dive into the water, try to buy time for the others.
>Write-In

Rolled 8, 17, 4 = 29 (3d20)

>>35378933
>[HEAVY] Rush into The Sharkmancer, your allies can watch your back.
PREFORM THE BALANCED SPEED LION STRIKE COMBO

Rolled 13, 1, 18 = 32 (3d20)

>>35378933
>[LIGHT] Swim to catch Yzz, prioritize taking out the sharks.
It seems like this phase of the fight is the Sharkmancer doing a bit of damage to people, which leads the summoned sharks to them where they deal most of the substantial damage.

Balanced Strike the nearest shark for the Str/Spd bonuses from Like the Sun/Like the Wind and clear out the sharks and get Yzz on solid ground before they can do anything substantial. We can all refocus on the Sharkmancer after that.

Rolled 17, 16, 15 = 48 (3d20)

>>35379014
Wait scratch that, [Rising Storm] the sharkomancer and surronding sharks.

>>35379122
Okay using that roll,
>[LIGHT] Swim to catch Yzz, prioritize taking out the sharks. Use [Foresight] then [Rising Storm]

>>35379166
I don't think we had time for a refresh in between phases of this fight, but I suppose it's worth mentioning in case we did, and Rising Storm is only single-target until [Relentless Storm] in tier 4 of the Diviner skill list.

Rolled 12, 11, 14 = 37 (3d20)

>>35379218
Oh your right, shit. Just do what this guy is saying Librarian
>>35379114

Rolled 4, 8, 6 = 18 (3d20)

>>35378933
>>[LIGHT] Swim to catch Yzz, prioritize taking out the sharks.

No Rising Storm to hold off that mage unfortunately, you'll have to hope for the best without it. You cut through the water towards Yzz, more concerned about the sharks around her than The Sharkmancer chasing you.

"Tonight, you swim with the FISHES!"

"No thanks." Ervin slams into The Sharkmancer, pushing him underwater. "Clear the adds while I deal with this." Guess that's why you're friends with him.

Your pet Fish slides out in front of you, splashing in the water in front of you like a mark. He makes a leap through the air over one of the sharks, and in a denial of any real physics, you bend your knees and kick yourself out from the pool to follow. This time, you won't screw up, you call your bamboo lance forward and [Balanced Strike] the first of the four sharks through the back of the head, your passive skills activate and the momentum carries you into the second of the sharks behind it. Not quite enough to kill either, but enough to leave them with some nasty marks and some turned attention. "Get on the platform!" you yell, pointing Yzz to the floating slab. She gives a look at it, then an annoyed look back to you.

"Fuck you! You're trying to win the contest!" The third of the sharks comes down at Yzz, and she grabs the ceiling and floor of its mouth with her hands. With all her might, she swings it into the fourth shark and sends them both flying at Isaac. His eidolon turtle raises its head, and snaps down on them as they approach.

"Really? Now?" You follow Yzz's lead and flick the sharks away to Isaac's turtle, before turning your attentions back centre. Ervin hasn't quite come up yet, but you can see the shape of a massive jaw closing in on the two shadows in the depths.

>You are [Balanced]
>Your health is [Full]

>[LIGHT] Descend the depths, and slip into the fray carefully.
>[HEAVY] Dive fiercely into the water, attack the unseen.
>[GUARD] Trust in Ervin, wait cautiously.
>Write-In

Rolled 18, 9, 13 = 40 (3d20)

>>35379436
>[HEAVY] Dive fiercely into the water, attack the unseen.
We need to do this fast

Rolled 5, 14, 17 = 36 (3d20)

>>35379436
>Write-In
We know the game is capable of long-distance communication, so we should probably at least tell Ervin there's something big incoming even if the game won't let him respond to us from underwater.

>[LIGHT] Descend the depths, and slip into the fray carefully.
Harass the large thing with [Split Body] in an attempt to draw its attention away from Ervin. If its mouth is open, make a point of focusing our strikes on its exposed throat.

Rolled 13, 19, 11 = 43 (3d20)

>>35379436
>>[LIGHT] Descend the depths, and slip into the fray carefully.
Careful not

"Hey, hey Ervin... Ervin, I'm in here you head. But no seriously, there's something big coming."

"I KNOW THAT! I'VE RUN THIS BEFORE!"

"Wow, way to be a douche Ervin."

"COME HELP ME!" Despite his tone of voice, you do feel some obligation to dive down. You drop under the pool, and slip towards the shapes. You can feel yourself taken in by the water but your breathing stays the same, there's little resistance as you press on but there's little time to think about it--it's not long before you see Ervin caught in fight with The Sharkmancer, and beneath him the rising shape of a massive shark. "Listen Aster," he says between swinging his mace, masterfully catching the few moments of freedom, "the thing down there can't be hurt in this dungeon, so we have to kill The Sharkmancer quickly. I don't care how you do it, but do it."

Ervin's holding out decently enough but it's clear that he can't put out the damage needed to handle this encounter fast enough. Guess it's up to you. The Sharkmancer is weaving in an out of the slow Crusader's range, playing keep away while the creature below arises.

>You are [Balanced]
>Your health is [Full]
>You have a bonus!

>[LIGHT] Pursue The Sharkmancer, you have no time to waste.
>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.
>[GUARD] Swim up, call for the others.

Rolled 6, 20, 16 = 42 (3d20)

>>35379833
>>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.
>call for the others in party chat.

>>35379833
>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.
MASSIVE DAMAGE

Rolled 12, 4, 9 = 25 (3d20)

>>35379833
>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.

Rolled 1, 19, 12 = 32 (3d20)

>>35379896
Oops roll

Rolled 7, 7, 17 = 31 (3d20)

>>35379833
>You have a bonus!
Huh.

>>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.
Get one really good shot in while he's focused on playing with Ervin, then try and corral him up toward the surface so everyone else can focus on him as well.

Which also has the added bonus of getting greater distance from the rising shark.

Rolled 1, 10, 11 = 22 (3d20)

>>35379833
>>[HEAVY] He hasn't noticed you yet, sneak behind him and hit him with all you have.
Hit him with Lion Fisting time

You move slowly, but meaningfully. Time's running down but you can't rush this, somehow you're not sure you can out-swim a shark.

"We'll make FISH FOOD out of you!" The Sharkmancer taunts Ervin.

You strike The Sharkmancer. Emerging from behind him, you use your [Lion Fist], delivering a heavy hit to his back. His fish eyes widen up when he's [Stunned] and his movements freeze. With all your might, you drive him towards the surface. "One serving of shark coming right at you guys," you communicate through the party chat. You push The Sharkmancer out first, and come out second with him firm in your grip and drive him up against Isaac's eidolon, pushing him up the side of it and sending him flying up and onto the back on your rush.

"Now what were you three doing while we were down there?" Ervin drags himself out of the water, and onto the floating slab.

"I didn't want to get wet," Leah explains.

"My hair's pretty hard to dry," Isaac says, touching his afro.

"I can't swim..." Yzz admits, begrudgingly.

"Whatever, let's finish the job." Ervin swims your way, and you help him aboard the turtle after climbing up first. Drawing your bamboo lance, you skewer the shark...

The water sinks, dropping you gently to the wet floor. It's a moment before you all realize what's happened, but it seems you've completed the dungeon, celebratory words float around in the air. A large chest sits where you first saw the vanquished Sharkmancer, and opening it up reveals a set of items. Most of no interest to you, but in particular are two suitable pieces.

"Let me see! Come on, come on!" Yzz peeks over your shoulder, her wet red hair gets into your face. "Warder gear? Is that warder gear?" Looks like you'll have to split it, but first...

>CONT

First, the treasure you came here for, the mermaid princess!

"What does she look like!?"

"How does she taste!?" The situation safe, your slimes slip out of your pockets and onto the ground. They bounce around babbling to each other. Fish is floundering around somewhere here, but if you walk too far he'll return to your pockets any ways. The hanging cage far above the pool swings left and right, and as while you watch it intently, it snaps loose of its hold.
Down the cage goes, making a splash when it hits the pool in the centre. A mist fills the room as the barred cage opens, but just barely you can see a small white hand reaching out from within it...

"Are you the one who freed me, my hero?"

The voice is soft, melodious. You could run after it now, but there's a weak tugging on the cloth of your heels.

>You took the...
>...[Robes of the Shark], gives you a [Speed] bonus moving in water.
>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.

>Answer the call, help the mermaid princess out
>Stay where you are, wait for the mist to clear
>Write-in

>>35380251
>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
>Answer the call, help the mermaid princess out

>>35380251
>>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
>Stay where you are, wait for the mist to clear

>>35380251
Mace
Answer the call

>>35380251
>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
Magic bonus is starting to look really good now with Divine Fists/Split Body.

>Write-in
> You could run after it now, but there's a weak tugging on the cloth of your heels.
Uh, what's up? Then if it's nothing critical:

>Answer the call, help the mermaid princess out
Time to meet Fish's cousin.

Rolled 11, 18, 10 = 39 (3d20)

>>35380251
>>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
>Answer the call, help the mermaid princess out
Check for that vagina, we have a thesis damn it

>>35380354
Second

>>35380251
>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
>>35380359
Woah anon we have a middle schooler with us not yet.

>>35380354
This

>>35380251
>...[Hammerhead Mace], gives you a [Magic] bonus when wielded.
>stay. check the tugging.

"Something the matter?" you ask, to no response. The tugging stops, and unabated you go to meet your new love.
You brave the mists, and reach to the floating cage, your finger tip touches that of the beautiful hand, which jerks back in surprise--a second touch, and the princess lets yours slip between hers. Her hand is wet from the drop, and her palms are cold from captivity... she shakes, she shivers...

"There's nothing to be afraid of, I'll get you out of here."

"Th-thank you, so much... I owe you my life, hero."

You lead her out by the hand, she stumbles in your pull. Her bare toes patter against the ground, her legs are slim but they have a shine to them. Your eyes trail up, it's naught but two scales on a strip that covers her delicates, your mind wonders what lies beneath. Her stomach is flat, it shimmers around her petite navel--but her chest is bountiful, a soft, almost translucent green cloth covers them. Droplets of water still catch to her collar bone, a prominent shape but none too much so... you raise your gaze, you meet her eyes.

Big black orbs, that face left and right and surrounded by silver scales. Her lips are certainly large, but they don't look any soft. Her hair... there isn't any.
She looks like a trout.

"FISH! FISH!"

"Fish, fish." Your loyal pet flops over to you from heaven's knows where, it takes a pause before bouncing again.

"This is another reason I hate this dungeon," Ervin says with arms crossed, "come on, let's leave."

"AHAHAHAH! KISS, KISS!" Yzz is on her butt, kicking her legs in the air, pointing and laughing. Your two slimes bounce around her, imitating her sound. Leah covers her mouth, but you can see her whispering to Isaac who just gives you a clever smirk and a slow nod.

Perhaps now is not the best time to work on your thesis.

>Write-In

Let's wrap this up.

>>35380542
Ask her if she has a vagina?

>>35380542
Okay bye, time to go

>>35380542
Hey Fish this your sister or something?

>>35380542
>We will not be responsible for unleashing this horror upon the world. Back in the cage it goes!

>>35380542
It was nothing, happy to help and all that,see if see can give us a new crown princess' can do that roght

>>35380542
"Think nothing of it, I'm simply doing my duty as a hero. So... do I escort you somewhere, or are you good."

"Are you... are you related to Fish?"

"I am a mermaid...?" She doesn't seem to understand your question.

"Do you... do you have a vagina?"

"Y-yes..." She turns her head away from you, not for much though given her eyes are on the side of it--rather shyly, her legs cross over each other, one arm dropping down to try and hide her indecency better.

"I swear to god Aster, that does NOT count if we get back on that topic," Ervin yells.

"Hey, are you seriously thinking of fucking a fish?" Yzz gives you a look, the look of sub-urban mother on discovering her son's coprophilia fetish porn collection. Women, they just don't understand science.

"Can you give me a crown?"

"Hey... are you seriously thinking of marrying a fish?" Yzz gives you a look, the look of a sub-urban mother on discovering that her son wants to marry someone of another race. It's worse than the first look.

"O-oh, are you thinking of... marriage?" The Mermaid Princess raises both of her hands, she touches them to her 'cheeks' and sways left and right, 'cutely'.

"Well, you have a good day then. It's time for me to leave now." Your hand bounces against her chest as you shove her back over the side of the pool, and into the cage. A small respite in the greatest disappointment of your life. You spin around, and make a mad dash towards the newly opened back entrance of the sanctum.

"What the hell Aster! You can't do that, she's a girl!" You ignore Leah's deaf calls.

"Run fast my friend, if I never do anything for you again, know that I watched your back today." You thank Ervin's loyalty.

"HAHAHAH! I'M GOING TO TELL RAVEN AND PIXIE THAT YOU'RE A FISH-FUCKER!" You can do no more than accept Yzz's teasings.

"Nice." Isaac's words are the last thing you hear, as you ditch the instance into the open world... a flash of light consumes you, and though you nearly drowned in an abyss you'd never escape from--you reach salvation, you see the sun.

Most importantly, mermaids totally have vaginas.

>LOGGED OUT

File: EVEN IF YOUR PARTNER HAS (...).jpg (177 KB, 681x1023)

177 KB JPG

>>35380542
>Perhaps now is not the best time to work on your thesis.
A man must hold his principles above his dignity.

That said, I'm pretty sure Reverse Mermaids don't really count for our purposes, so we can probably give this one a pass. Such a shame.

>>35380714
Should at least ask this. Rescuing the princess and leaving her to promptly be eaten by the sharkbeast in the depths is poor form, even if we think she's ugly as sin.

>>35380769
>Most importantly, mermaids totally have vaginas.
Fan-fucking-tastic

>>35380782
>Reverse Mermaids don't really count

>>35380769
>"I swear to god Aster, that does NOT count if we get back on that topic," Ervin yells.
...fuck, I'm Ervin.

Thanks for running, etc.

It's oveeeer, thanks for playing.

Again, my apologies for the infrequency of threads. Job related complications ultimate death of QMs yada-yada-yada. Good evening and good night.

>>35380769
DOES A REVERSE MERMAID COUNT THOUGH? I THINK WE NEED TO ENCOUNTER A REGULAR MERMAID TO KNOW.
Saw it coming from a fucking mile away
Also thanks for running and shit

Archived

>>35380889
thanks for running.

Well, since we have odd collector, what kind of pets should we get?

>tentacle set
mini-krakens, ropers, floating jellyfish(helijelly?)

>slime set
gold slime, silver slime, eye goo, gelatinous cube, ooze, Jell

>gore set
abomination, flesh spiders, rib cage monsters, frankensteins