>>35411506
Exalted

>>35411506
Someone made a screencap of it once.

Made a friend in college who said he loved to DM. Me and another friend headed over to his house. He told us his vampire friends would be joining us for this session. I asked if he meant his Vampire the Masquerade friends. He did not.

>>35411585
Oh you said setting. Thought you wrote session. Never mind me. Carry on.

Random Disjointed Fantasy Land With No Internal Logic

>>35411506
the infamous Magical Realm

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>>35411506
Every 'original and unique' homebrew

Some of the worst settings I've ever played are those run by friends that I was just happy to see give it a go for a session.

Now, the most painful setting to sit through was one run by That Guy, but that was more to do with who was running it rather than what it was (even though that was pretty shaky to begin with).

>>35411506
A king builder pathfinder game. Part of setting was low magic and another high magic. All npcs were overly trusting/revealing. Killed a lich after raiding its tower, apologizing for thr forced entry, work out a deal to not kill his main minion in exchange of leaving unharmed. Find the nearest church, inform then about the lich, load up on holy goodies and then returned and killed the lich and blre up the tower. Shit did not make sense

A somewhat barbarian magical realm full of NPC dick sucking whores allowed by the DM.

Went from awesome to "I feel totally awkward with what the DM is narrating"

No kidding.

Golarion

Still don't understand how a kitchen sink setting can be so bland

>>35411506
A GURPS Space setting run by my little brother. It was completely nonsensical, and the only known alien life was sapient cows which wanted nothing more than to annihilate humanity for the lulz.

>>35411585
Story time please.

A homebrew setting run by a DM who couldn't keep his notes in order resulting in a world where people, places, and things in the world changed drastically between sessions.

>>35412014
There's a screencap floating around somewhere of it. I'd rather not derail the thread. And I'm on my phone so its a bit hard to do an in depth storytime.

All you got to know is that we wound up playing VtM. And I got threatened with a knife.

The lesson to take home from this is always have an exit strategy.

>>35411506
My own. It was my first homebrew world/campaign as DM.

I got better though.

>>35412868

There's a part of me that would want to do that just to see how long it would take my oblivious players to realize.

But I would take notes and make it seem like I knew what I was doing, even as I changed names. Insist that it was "always this way".

>>35413211
Someone please find the scree cap, this sounds funny

>>35411506
RIFTS.

Then again, it's the only setting I've played, so it's both the worst and the best I've played by default.

>>35411867
What's sad is that there is an incredibly high level wizard about every 500 miles but no uses magic to domfucking anything.

>>35411506
Equestria

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>>35413211
Now I'm even more curious...

Fantasy Greenland.
THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. JUST SNOW AND ROCKS.

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>>35413812
Same here but my first game is a pure example of the need to A: test shit
And B: think it through first.

So my first setting ran in HERO system. I knew the system fairly well so the mechanics were solid but that's about it.
The premise was the group played as pimps...who were also super spies.

Shit went downhill so goddamn fast.
Many keks were had however which I think was the saving grace that let's me gm nowadays

>>35411506
That ubiquitous homogenous blob that appeared in 2001 DM's where every little setting just had to be part of the same multiverse, just because everything had a d20 game, and it was new and exciting to mix settings.

Not EVERYTHING has to fit into Forgotten Realms. I can't explain how hard it was to just explain
>"no, you can't be a Kinder, because the dragonlance setting doesn't exist in my setting"
>"But what if a planar portal, or a powerful multiversal outsider transported him there"
>"No, they aren't different universes in the same multiverse, the Dragonlance universe doesn't exist relative to my universe... at all.... no multiverse".
>"I don't understand, anything can exist in the multiverse"
>"But that doesn't mean it HAS TO"

>>35411585
I NEED that screencap.

Captcha: cultural Grecian

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>>35413211
You better fucking tell this story when you get home.

>>35411636
>>35411654
What are some things you don't like homebrew settings? I've spent the last three years working on one, and I'm just wondering, in general, what turns people off.

>>35415530
>as if you need an actual excuse to not let someone play kender

>>35415630
Laziness would likely be the biggest killer.

> The evil intergalactic empire is evil because...well because they are evil and the bad guys.
For example.

Hell you'd be surprised what adding just a little bit of politics to a setting can do.

>>35411506
>What is the worst setting you've played
Eberron
not even joking...
I await your angry responses

>>35415678
Would the villain being evil because he was bathed in the venom of the primordial serpent, whose corpse became the world after he poisoned himself by biting his own tail, be a "just because" copout?

Think more of a Melkor, archangel-level villain than a feudal warlord-level villain.

>>35411506
40k.

I don't really have a specific one, but I hate settings with Baskin Robbins elves. God dammit unless you're going to go into that extreme of detail about every other race, please don't give me twelve pages of elves when the others only get one (at most).
God fucking dammit.

>>35415720
I actually think this also. Tries too hard to be different, and still comes off as boring.

Almost as bad as Golarion, but at least it satisfies my inner araboo

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>>35414278
>>35415396
>>35415607

found the orignal screen cap but that doesn't really tell the story

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>>35415838
>my vampire friends

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>>35415722
A bit he should have a actual reason for wanting to be a bastard. Otherwise he's still just evil because...reasons. ..
Exceptions do exist.

> some people just want to see the world burn
> some people enjoy other people's misery
Etc...

If you evem think that someone might view your villian as evil just because then give him a personality that enforces his evil actions. Go over the top if needed.

Handsome jack is a good example of this. He's a pretty generic baddie on the grand scheme but his over the top asshole personality makes him noteworthy

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>>35415838

>>35413211

Mr Bombardini?

>>35415885

Do people who are bastards actually set out to be such? I think oftentimes not.

Some people - or beings - are simply at odds with the world around them (or society, or even just the protagonists), and can't or won't help that.

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>>35415967
That's a good philosophy but makes for boring story.

The best villians are often the most hated.
As long as your players want to kill the bad guy for reasons other than: Cause thus dude said to.
Then your doing something right

>>35415838
>https://archive.moe/tg/thread/19663070/#19663258

Forgotten Realms

There's just nothing...engaging about it.

>>35416195
Addendum: I do like Kelemvor and the Wall of the Faithless. Currently playing an ex-ish Doomguide paladin.

And my Cleric of Vergadain was the best character I've ever played, but that wasn't technically in the Realms.

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>>35415838
well i'm home now so i might as well give you the gist of it.

there were 3 of them. one guy and 2 girls.
the guy was tall and lanky with long hair and looking back on it reminds me or Orin from Parks & Rec but with more acne and longer hair. One of the girls was attractive but in a cutest girl in the trailer park kind of way. the other was a land whale not much to say about that. and they all dressed like a Hot Topic vomited on them. which was impressive since this was in Orlando Florida in June.

after some awkward introductions we tried to decide on what to play. all they wanted to play was VtM. and not really knowing what i was getting into me and my friend agreed.

me and my friend drew had never played it before so we spent most of the time making characters while the 3 of them and the DM picked up where they last left off. I honestly wasn't paying much attention and don't really remember much of the details as this was back in 07. but long story short i thought it would be funny to trap the guy's malkavian on the roof of a building just before sun up. His next course of action was to draw a dagger on me. Not a knife but a dagger he brought along with the rest of his props and threaten me to let him back in. the DM wound up just saying that he wouldn't let me kill his character and that helped defuse the situation. Me and my friend asked the DM for a ride home shortly after that.
I'm glossing over a lot but that's really the highlights of it.

>>35416077

Why would it make for a boring story? Why hate and oppose a villain for being "evil" when you can hate and oppose him for being a serial killer that is loose in your city? If anything being this weird, detached alien /thing/ would be suitably creepy and eerie. This kind of stuff has its place as much as whatever you think an ideal villain is (a robber baron or pirate or some other such self-consciously self-interested amoral sort?).

>>35416195
The sad part is that it used to be before it got saturated with the developer's epic level characters and assorted Mary Sues.

>>35416105
wow that brings back memories.

the old OLD DBZ tcg

>>35411506
Oh boy! Gather around folks let me tell you about dick island, or never introduce an idiot to planescape.

> Be perma DM
> Long running planescape game ends in victory for the group
> One of the guys in the group says he want's to DM
> Fuck yes finally! I have a gnome wizard ready to go and everything
> Three weeks later
> Everyone shows up, yay!
> We start having washed ashore on an island
> island covered with giant mushrooms.
> as we explore we realize that everything is described as having a long shaft or rounded head
> the truth hits the fighter first
> fighter "Is everything on this island shaped like a dick?"
> DM "the fighter disappears in a cloud of smoke"
> Whole Group "wut?"
> DM turns to guy playing the fighter and hands him a book of mazes "you find yourself at the dead end of the hallway you must solve the maze to escape"
> Fighter tells DM to shove his book up his ass. Leaves.
> rest of the group solders on.
> meet the natives
> they all wear giant fake dicks.
> try to find a way off the island
> map of island is a flaccid dick
> only plot thread we can find is the white mist cumming from the top of the Tomb of The Endowed One.
> Druid "seriously what is with all the dicks?"
> Druid Mazed
> game ends there for the night
> never gets a second night
> takes 6 months to form a new group
> fuck Dick Island

>>35416322

For me those are only half the problem. The unrelenting genericness and shit like transplanted Egyptians is the other half. This was even before the 4e writers got their greasy spazz mittens all over it.

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>>35416235
Good thing you didn't fuck with him, anon. He's actually a dark lord of the darkbad.

>>35411506
Golarion is a clusterfuck. Most bland piece of shit I've ever played.

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>>35416366
>> Druid "seriously what is with all the dicks?"
>> Druid Mazed

I think my sides just got mazed.

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>>35416366
>> fuck Dick Island
that's the idea.

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>>35416366
what

>>35416366
I don't know what you're talking about, this sounds incredible.

>>35416366
This DM is hilarious.

>>35416366

>Not doing the mazes
>Not discovering the hard, hard truth about Dick Island

I'm sorry, but you were That Guy

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>>35416366
Why

>>35411506
I've dont a Bleach setting and a Phantasy Star Onoine setting. All with BESM

>>35416366
I've noticed a strange pattern from all the forever GM's I've met. Whenever they are given the chance to play characters, they always play gnomes. It's quite strange.

>>35417052
I know a forever GM with a preference for half-elves and golems.

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>>35416366
You're a wiener for cutting and running, forever denying us closure to this genius' grand story.

>>35416366
Wow. Now I finally understand the meaning of "magical realm".

>DM is buttbuddies with one of the players
>He likes Eldricht horror so you know where this is going
>Suddenly we're trapped in a village unable to escape with a temple with an endless dungeon underneath of which we know nothing about because "hurr durr you don't know anything. Roll arcana. Roll a 20. FEAR INVADES YOUR MIND!"

>>35411506
Im in it right now.

We are in not-Europe, from the magical land of not-Scottland.

There is a post in the middle of all towns where if you are above 6 feet tall, you are slain. The entire party is 6'5'' minimum.

All the good guys have been dead for 1000+ years. We cant go back home because a fog kills you for knowing about the outside world.

Arabs roam the land, looting mass graves with licences that give them permission. Their caravans will commit suicide if you try to take them over.

All enemies, be they evil lords or standard guards have gone up in power with us. All npcs act like we are children and exist only to kee us on the rails.

Oh, and after 6 games of this, we got sent to another plane without so much as a saving throw. We are now prisoners in a giant tower in a city of wizards with 40th level guards because we did not submit to mind control.

Other little tidbits about the world

>1-40 level world, only run into level 15+ since we started
>shackled with more "nice try,kid" 40th level dmpcs than party members
>our race didnt bow to gods, got killed and now gods send demons to fuck us up constantly
>mandatory 10 levels of fighter
>enemy archers get a buff of their level to damage
>1 and 20 chance of you having murder visions in combat.
>travel between locations is as long as the plot demands it

I am so fucking tired of this shit. I know people love dark and gritty games but this shit gets old, especially since we just played a game of Midnight. Im to the point im just going to start murdering npcs that talk down to us on age alone, even more so because our characters had a age limit.

>>35417634
Planet of the Manlets

>>35417804
Planet of Manlets that kill you if you are not a manlet. If you try to go back to natty island, your gains are taken away.

Probably my own setting because I'm worthless and can only create generic fantasy garbage.
I just want a setting kind of like Legend of Zelda

NWoD where everyone was DMX.

>>35417634
>short people
>scotland

Your GM sucks at stereotypes.

>>35417939
that sounds awesome though

>>35417939
> Somehow this isn't the best idea

>>35418144
We, the pcs, are the ones from Scotland. We started at 6'5'' and got 1d10 added to our height. In not-Europe, the poles are in the cities. We can not go into cities unless we are masquerading as some of the foreigners we killed, and then we can be found out if we are invited/demanded to dine with one of the lords.

So basically, we are forced into being murder hobos with a harem of suicidal middle eastern slaves and now we got teleported to wizards-fuck-your-shitville.

We are 7 games in and im only showing up because i run the second half of the 12 hour session.

>>35413852
That could be a campaign setting in and of itself.
Like, a paradigm city sort of thing.

It was this weird pathfinder setting with a PC race of tough lizards called 'tankies', no shit, a race with +4 str that could use Large size Fullblades without penalty, and what I seem to remember was googirls.

I dropped out, and am glad of it.

>>35411697

Do you also hate fun?

>>35418268
>So basically, we are forced into being murder hobos with a harem of suicidal middle eastern slaves

sounds based as fuck anon

>>35411847

If you don't have some fertility priestesses doubling up as whores in your setting, and your DM isn't describing every sexual act as a sacrament, I do not want to play it.

Needless to say, I rather rarely get to play it.

>>35418268
Sounds like you should just go to sleep during that session. Or play video games. Or read a book.

>>35418268
Jesus fuck man, just drop this game and run

>>35418355
You spend three sessions traveling. Two 6 hour and one 12 hour, nothing but traveling and being on suicide watch.

No magic users, accept a cleric with a reduced spell list and dmpcs demanding you go in 5 different directions.

>>35413211

Son, you just don't do this to /tg/. This is the worst type of blueballing.

>>35418381
>>35418399
I spend most of the game preparing for when i run.

Also would feel like shit for dropping a group ive been with for 10+ years because of one game.

Between the sheer lack of people in my town and spotty internet, i cant really start up a good online game either.

Just ride the waves until it ends.

>>35418268
Your game sounds less dark and gritty and more shitty.

>>35411585
Oh gawd, those people that are fucking loony and you should be making fun of them, but they are so fucking loony you are afraid they might be crazy enough to eat you.

>>35418430
See>>35416235

>>35411708
>that friend that always wants a turn to DM but fucking sucks at it and it always leads to not playing for a few weeks, but you have to let him try because it is his house.

Just try a one shot buddy.

>>35411506

Well, I once played in a "Space Opera" setting that almost takes the cake for worst campaign I've been a part of. Highlights include:

> Mother of Mary Jesus Zoid
> Zerfoss aka Space Armadillo God
> The Super Hacker Chaoxxx
> Bobs 1 thru 9, the Not So Broken Dison Sphere
> A Brainship DMPC named Sarah
> Wendell
> And The Great God IthenaThorIsisMichael, because all of your religions are a lie

> This isn't to mention, the GUILD the centralized galactic government known only as such, whose acronym had no meaning

>>35415514
I was voted forever DM by my friends back in highschool back when we first got into D&D. None of us had the setting books so it was up to me to make one.

That campaign ended with the party tracking down a lvl 20 Cleric of Vecna that I intended to be a recurring villain. Turns out holding back with a lvl 20 is harder to justify against a party of lvl 2s.

>>35418642
Go on

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>>35418642
>space armadillo god
I like armadillos, please continue.

Pathfinder.

>>35412868
>get terrified this is me
>glance at the logs to make sure I didn't do that many grevious mistakes
>turns out that I had notes upon notes of which jungle was where on the map, why certain NPCs are doing what they're doing, and a small mark on the map where the antagonist was traveling and projected time for them to travel.

I'm... not sure why I was worried.

It is always when the rules lawyer in the group gets his long awaited turn and his scenario is just a page long of rule changes and the campaign just falls apart after 2 sessions.

>>35418679
>>35418752

I mean, each of these was kind of it's own brand of unique horror and it would probably take me too long to tell the whole story. If there's a strong interest, I can try. Otherwise, if you have a specific preference on where to start, please indicate and I'll try to go from there.

>>35418299
Unfortunately one player always takes notes in her journal
so I could never do that

>>35418875
mary mother of jesus zoid

>>35418477
How about you man up actually tell them about it then, and should they not want to change anything go 'hey guys, I'll sit the rest of this campaign out'. And if they're actual reasonable human beings (I know it's a fucking long shot but some groups have been rumoured to be made of them) they'll go 'ok' and you won't have to spend time on a bad game and get to come back for the next one. Christ on a bike it's not like you're fucking contracted to them.

A bad game is a worse than not playing. If you feel stuck in some social obligation, be a reasonable person, talk to them about it, and work shit out. If they're not a giant bunch of dramawhore faggots it'll be fine, and if they are, well fuck 'em. Your time is worth more than that.

>>35411506
Aqua Teen Hunger Force custom setting my DM made up.

>>35418875
start at the beginning

>>35418930
I did not come here for advice. I came here to talk about the worst setting i have been in.

I have talked to the other players and dm and already discussed why i did not like the game. Now, im not going to be a bitch and sit around for 6 hours waiting on my turn to gm. I will sit down and participate, as these games are social activities.

6 hours is not much a month and i get to be around friends i only see once a month.

Like i said here >>35418477
Im not just going to fuck off from a group ive been part of for more than 10 years. Not everything has to be solved.

>>35411506
Fantasy weird west.
Using d20.
It was pretty fucking rad. Until the GM revealed it was secretly wh40k all along.
I like wh40k. But the GM literally had gotten everything he knew about the setting from me in passing.

>>35418921

Well, I guess we'll start with zoid world then. It's probably the quickest way to get to the Armadillo God anyway.

> Our story begins as our motley crew arrives on the good Ol' SMS Chuggalugg
> At least that would have been the name had the DM not retconned our ship into his own DMPC brainship by the name of Sarah
> Anyway, our roving band of misfits was coming to this backwater world on an important mission
> Turned out this was a pre-space planet and The GUILD had decreed that they weren't to be spared a helping hand into getting back out into the stars as the rest of the galaxy was on the mend from a massive and probably magical EMP that caused electricity to stop working for a few centuries
> Anyway, we were just there to keep the dumb bastards from blowing themselves up with the equivalent of a hyper drive turned dirty nuke

> To avoid raising a ruckus, we had to say goodbye to our beloved NPC and her strangle hold on our every conversation and activity so we could go and mingle with the locals
> But first she dropped us at a military base that the GUILD just happened to have on world, only a few miles outside of a major city
> Somehow this hadn't been noticed
> Somehow, we were also informed, the GUILD had decided to cage some silicon based life forms for the purpose of cockfighting with the other ones on the planet
> These beings had also, conveniently, adapted hollow pockets in their bodies to allow for human passengers to ride in... because EVOLUTION
> Such is the story of how our group found ourselves on Zoid world

- cont?

>>35419060
you present an obvious problem and people are gonna call you on it for not doing anything about it it. that's the way of /tg/.

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>>35416434
You cheeky cunt

>>35419248
When did /tg/ turn into armchair warriors intent to fix other peoples problems?

Along that line, when did /tg/ lose the ability to distinguish between a bitching thread and an advice thread?

>>35419158

Ah, hell, guess I'll keep going

> Confused as all hell by this turn of events, our group had mercifully little time to think about any of this before we were suddenly under attack... by Zoids
> And so we scrambled to figure out how to pilot the sapient war machines inexplicably jammed into our faces
> One pterodactyl and three panthers was about it
> There was also this tiny zoid in the base, about the size of a house cat.
> Learning where zoid babies came from had to wait, however, as we were presently getting the "Danger Will Robinson, Danger" treatment

> So the rest of the group hopped in their oddly willing, domesticated death machines and took off to battle the enemies
> The last person hopped into my character and got geared up for action

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>>35419470

> Now if the previous sentence seems odd as hell, it's because my character was pretty freaking strange
> We were playing GURPS at the time, with a first time GM at the wheel
> He hadn't read the rule book, that much was clear.
> The only thing more clear was that when he said this would be a combat light game, he was lying through his teeth.
> Luckily in preparation for this, I had built my character as a walking armory, though not in the conventional sense

> A floating ball of scrap metal, Wendell was literally an armory with a personality that was about as functional as pic related
> He was basically an indestructable chatterbox chock full of mental disorders and I played him to the letter

> For all that, I had put my points into only one thing, a combat mode styled bomb shelter for the RP characters
> I'd had to save the bookworm PC no less than three times since the game had started
> But the look on her face when she got to go toe to toe with the nasties or the thanks I got from the other players was enough to leave me satisfied with my decision.
> I laughed hardest when she outperformed the murder bots, killing three of the four attacking zoids before the others could even make it out there

>>35419670

However, I feel like I may be rambling a bit at this point. Someone please stop me if that's the case.

>>35419729
Keep going, the lurker a demands more!

>>35419670
>>35419794

Alright.

> Anyway, we murderize the zoids and get going to town
> Therein we are informed, by a rather poorly disguised offworld merchant that the locals have put the dirty nuke up as a prize for a tournament
> They are hocking it as a "super zoid component" from some ancient ruins
> So we walk through the weirdest bizarre in history trying to find the noble whose about to goof
> When I say strange, I mean that the bizarre was filled with 70s tech interspersed with high precision zoid components
> Laser guns and guided missiles sat on shelves beside vacuum tube televisions and bobbleheads
> Needless to say Wendell decided he would conquer his mighty foe, the TV, having seen our hacker at work and realizing it was his true calling to hack machinery

> While he was busy trying to convince another party member to shove component cables into his head, the other party members went off to speak with the noble
> Of course, it turns out the noble family is secretly godfathered by the seemingly immortal, clearly offworld exposition alien
> This guy apparently knows the device is dangerous but doesn't bother telling his idiotic "grandson" that he might be about to kill hundreds when the damn thing goes off
> Instead, he demands we provide a replacement or a cash prize

> Apparently our space money is good here, for some reason
> The amount wasn't exactly consequential, but we decided that we might as well win the tournament with zoid cockfighting
> By that I mean, the plan was basically someone piloting Wendell, suping up the other zoids, and ripping apart the competition

> That rather simple plan worked surprisingly well once we managed to convince everyone, including Wendell, that he was in fact a new breed of miniature zoid

Planescape. Specifically, Sigil. I don't think I've ever seen a setting so far up its own ass it turns inside out before.

>>35419994

> Of course, we were then informed by the DM that we just "happened" to have a spare drive on the ship, for no particular reason.
> We obviously could have just given that to them and been done with all these shenanigans
> Of course, by then, the world's most ferocious zoid was about elbow deep in the first round contenders as the GM continued stumbling through the rules of yet another combat fueled session
> He had concluded that our "wild zoids" were incredibly weak and inferior to "city zoids" and had given the enemies a lot of extra dakka to compensate for our power level

> We responded by obliterating the enhanced competition in about two rounds of bullets, laser swords, and extremely lucky rolls
> We still made the switcharoo on the off chance we would lose, though it didn't seem likely

>>35416366
this is literally the greatest thing ever holy shit. I need to do this.

>>35420105

> That is, until it was revealed that the next enemies were even more powerfuller than the ones we had just fought
> In fact, they were magical zoids raised by zoid farming brothers and powered up by strange ruin daka
> This prompted us to go on a quest to do some ruin delving ourselves, as we went marching off to explore the old capital
> Said old capital, and the entire planet, was also filled with a horrifying, debilitating, flesh-eating nano-bot virus, for not particular reason and that had inexplicably not spread to the remainder of humanity for god knows why.
> All it really meant was that we got to play astronaut as we went ruin diving.

> And what an eventful day it was, as we found an old magitech computer, fueled by magic
> This told us, in no less than two and a half hours of rambling exposition that there was a giant flesh eating virus that had invaded this place
> Shocking
> And that it was doing weird things to people and zoids
> Who could have known?

> And then we realized that there was a distress beacon coming from down here that was still transmitting and went to go find it
> Find it we did, on top of a rather strange, shifting rock formation, described as an amorphous pile of stone-like material
> Now, we are running under the assumption that we are going to find things that need to be killed with fire
> We found zombie zoids at the front entrance, after all
> And so not being willing to take the risk, we get our friendly mad bomber to grab some ancient space janitor supplies and make something about powerful enough to level a small city block
> What fools we were, however, for in our rashness, we woke the great and powerful, The Mighty Space Armadillo God

>>35414398
>RIFTS
I've played a few settings and I'd say that RIFTS is probably the worst one I've played

Exalted everytime I'm not running it

>>35420231

> As the cocktail of ancient space Draino, Space Bleach, Space Ammonia, and a little nutmeg went off, the pile roared to life
> All the while, our DM gave us a look like we were the dumbest motherfuckers alive
> Perhaps we were, for this was no random rock formation, but a giant zoid with what seemed to be the entire armory of a dead civilization inconceivably strapped onto his body
> So as he picked himself up with only a few scratches from something that shouldn't have left a floor to this building, he roared his discontent, instantly stunning all of us unless we made some impossible stun save.
> It would seem I rolled conveniently just one below the threshold.

> But what the DM forgot was one thing, that Wendell had a bucket full of mental flaws, but that some of those were situationally useful, like having multiple personality disorder

> So as he began preparing for another drawn out wall of exposition, Wendell's actually competent personality, GX-749, came online
> If Wendell was space core, GX-749 was robocop
> And as this two story tall tower of metal and guns roared to life, the first words out of his mouth were:
> "I am GX-749 of the Galactic Central Police! Freeze dirt bag!"

>>35411906
sounds rad

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>>35416366
Screencapped and stored away for the winter.

>>35411906
>sapient cows which wanted nothing more than to annihilate humanity for the lulz.

The K'kree say "'sup?"

>>35420353

> Of course, that really didn't do much
> For you see, the Great Space Armadillo God had 400 Regenerative DR that instantly healed him of all damage
> So after talking down to my character, saying he was above the space police and generally ignoring that a PC would dare interrupt his monologue, the DM spent 15 minutes out of session trying to convince me to shoot up the super awesome space armadillo so he could heal all the damage we had done to him
> I patiently refused this without telling him to go and fuck himself with his 4000 point armadillo god, and was subsequently treated to three hours of messy exposition about nothing in particular

>>35420426

> It turned out that the family godfather was his soul partner, who was immortal because space magic and knew all the things about everything since he had been around since before the scream
> Somehow this omniscient jackass hadn't bothered to do a thing about repairing the goddamn planet, which my character gladly pointed out
> For that I got a mumbled response as the DM realized he had written into being one of the greatest jackasses in history

> Anyway, not to be dissuaded, Space Armadillo god started shooting out presents to prove he wasn't a dick
> This included red cores, which gave zoids magic and a single gold core, which would give a zoid intelligence
> Thus having proved that he clearly wasn't still a dick, he sent us on our way to go back and continue our mechanical cockfights

> And so we finally arrive back to what I promised
> In the end, realizing that none of us really wanted it, the bookworm and Wendell decided to give the gold core to the housecat who the GM had named Jasmine, a name he had an unhealthy obsession with
> And in a flash of golden light, out came a much larger zoid, now intelligent and voiced in the most whiny, needy way you can possibly imagine
> Of course, she wasn't big enough for people yet, and obviously she wasn't okay with giving Wendell rides in her compartment, because reasons.
> Instead, she just had to tell everyone how in the transition, she had heard a soft female voice speaking the truths of Christianity

> Don't worry, it's cool.
> We settled early on that Space Christianity was the dominant religion of the entire universe.
> Everyone just settled for themselves at one point that that was the right religion and that all other "gods" were just angels impersonating those gods while the great and mighty Christian god hung offscreen.

>>35420591

Now I could go on from here, but it's getting late and trust me when I say it only gets dumber.

>>35420629
we have to go dumber

>>35420639

Do we really though?

>>35420749
yes, the story is started now we must continue.

>>35420629
>>35420639
>>35420749
>>35420768
I need more dumb.

>>35420768
>>35420591

If the show must go on then I'm going to be rushing a little bit. Sleep is wonderful, after all.

> Anyway, with our newly suped up zoids and Wendell still being Wendell, we pretty much continued to rip the competition a new one
> Eventually this lead to a final round beat down where Elizabeth the Bookworm totally didn't roll a confirmed max critical to behead the enemy leader's zoid.
> After all, we were in a magical science, no kill stadium that would never let anyone get seriously hurt because that would be mean
> This, on a world where vacuum tube televisions are still a thing, where they don't even have Space Internet so you have to go to your Space Local Library to totally not download all of their government's encrypted files.

> Also, no, Wendell didn't abduct that cow and put it on the ship that wasn't Sarah. That would be silly.
> He also totally didn't leave a note along with some space money for the farmers and that message was completely not in a circular pattern because straight lines are hard and circles are cool and it kind of looked like him he guessed.
> Anyway, one mysteriously acquired space cow in tow, our party left that planet behind, having lost nothing but a modicum of our sanity dealing with constantly trying to restat the zoids up to spec.

> Of course, there was no rest for the wicked, and the GUILD immediately had another mission for us.
> They had lost a Dison sphere....

>>35420914
How do you LOSE a Dyson sphere?

>>35420914

> Now, when they told us this, we were taken aback
> I mean, this organization had done stupid things in the past
> They had hired a pack of lunatics as their search and exploration team to go and seek out new civilizations and cultures
> They had trusted said lunatics with their super special brainship, which was one of only a few that were better than any super computer because human babies in jar make the best pilots
> Yes, she totally wasn't an inferior pilot to the pilot PC before that retconn.
> I mean, just look at her character sheet

> Anyway, the Dison sphere in question was something they had known about and found still partly functional
> However, rather than bothering to, you know, do anything sensible with one of the greatest scientific achievements ever conceived, they kind of just left it
> And then it kind of got taken over by Space Pirates lead by the nefarious CHAOXXX!!!

> You see, what made Chaoxxx so dangerous was that he was the best hacker the GUILD had ever known
> That is until he went all evil because he was a half angel and moody and shut up it makes sense
> Also, he is now an integral part of X PC's backstory because they were childhood best friends forever
> And that means said PC is now a half-angel
> Shut up, you know regular people can't possibly be as sexy as Captain Jack Batman
> To be fair, I couldn't argue with that last part.

>>35421003

> So, yes, the GUILD had lost a Dyson sphere, and it was our job to get it back
> How, you may ask?
> Well, we had the coordinates of the Dyson sphere obviously.
> I mean, it's right there on the Galactic Map
> Even says, Unattended Dyson Sphere, Do Not Stea---
> Well obviously it's the typo's fault.

> And so off we rushed to the far corners of the galaxy to stop the nefarious plots of one of the foremost League of Legends players
> We had a pirate ship that we had stolen earlier on, which contained a contraband space cow and distinctly didn't carry a certain DMPCs central intelligence.
> Heartbroken though we were to soldier on without Sarah locking our captain in his quarter's for disagreeing with her, we left Sarah behind and worked our way into pirate waters

> However, what fools we were
> Clearly the Dyson sphere was surrounded by an asteroid sphere filled with sensors and mines and laser sharks...
> Okay, that last one I made up, but hopefully you can see the strangeness of being able to arm an ENTIRE sphere of asteroids surrounding a planet the size of Jupiter.

>>35413211
I've seen the fucking screencap, but I don't have it. Give me a sec and I'll find it.

>>35421087

> Now, you may be asking yourself, "Planet, but I thought this was a Dyson sphere?"
> Well, you see, what had happened was that the ancient race of old had built a planet around their Dyson sphere
> Or maybe they built the star inside of a planet
> The DM couldn't decide, and we frankly just gave up trying to figure it out at a certain point

> Just as well as our group had just found a breakable thing, ie an orbiting fortress satellite with giant guns that could span thousands of miles in any direction
> After we were hailed we had to dock, in which sequence, our hacker got to work trying to crack their systems wide open
> However, obviously all the computer systems in the entire base were completely isolated and they weren't making use of any sort of wifi
> I mean, Chaoxxx is a master hacker.
> Why would he leave such vulnerabilities as an infrastructure network lying around to be hacked by god knows who?

> Thus began our hacker, De Yi Sing's great trial of faith.

>>35421156

> The long and short of it was that everything was dicks
> Security cameras didn't feed back to security systems, yet they could still alert guards of the presence of individuals within the complex
> Computers had virtual reality worlds within virtual reality worlds
> Luckily the direct approach just involved us bringing our murder bots trolling through the hallways at near mach speeds
> What, did you honestly think we left them back on hick planet where they might be abused by robo-cockfight enthusiasts?
> No, we liked them slightly better than that, except for Mother of Mary Jesus Zoid, but maybe she was good for... I got nothing

Someone archive this thread when story time is over!!!

>>35421220

> Anyway, we reeked enough horror there to be able to make it safely on planet, to an abandoned patch of dirt on a planet filled with nanites for no particular reason, again.
> However, while disembarking, we encountered another pirate ship which we took down very handily by having GX-749 carry a copy of De Yi via flash drive into the enemy ship's flight deck to plug in directly.
> That almost ended terribly when we ended up having to blast some assholes who ended up being Guild Agents
> Then the ship AI tried to use the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP to kill De Yi, which was resoundingly rejected by the group after the shit this player had dealt with all session.

> As for the folks we blasted, well they were tricksy mages who refused to tell us where there allegiances lie while we had our main ordinances pointed at them
> They told us they were teleporting away
> We told them not to
> They tried anyway
> And so we shot them

> They deflected the first several shots with magic
> Let me be clear, they deflected multiple rounds of our ship's major ordinance with their personal magic
> And they survived after that as tiny white crystals which for some reason Wendell was convinced should be brought back on board
> We promptly sealed those in an antimagic bread box and figured we would be done with them

Every World of Darkness setting I have ever tried.

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>>35421340

>>35421325

> We had bigger fish to fry and it was on to the planet's surface
> And after cutting our way through a series of logic puzzles which were functionally incapable of being solved, we made our way into the core of the Dyson sphere
> It was there that we found Bob 6 of 9, the intelligence of the Not-So-Broken Dyson sphere
> It turned out that the guild was hijacking part of his brain and so clearly none of the others were able to do anything.
> A network designed to operate an artificial star siphoning network was hacked like a middle school science fair and we were talking to the product of shoddy engineering

> Anyway, Bob seemed like a pretty cool guy and so we agreed to help him
> Wendell liked him at any rate
> And so we went to find the black box to blow it up and save Bob

> This included riding a trolley down the line, finding the box completely unattended and blowing it up
> Of course it was a crazy magic box of magic made by crazy space wizards we may or may not have left alone back on the ship because it was made pretty clear he would kill us all
> However, it was still a box and we wrecked it and calmly sauntered up the steps into the pirate stronghold

This setting was both the best and worst setting I've ever played in. First a little backstory before I head right into the shit: Whenever my group can't figure out something to play we end up just making up our own quick game.

How it works: We pick a DM, usually someone volunteers since (THANK GOD) all of us can DM games competently, every player chooses two things that the game's universe has to be about, and then we make quick little characters that just show off our major skills.

I picked:The world's population is ravaged by mutation and that the most popular religion was The Trinity. The Trinity consisted of celebrities as Gods. Christopher Walken was the Father, Keanu Reeves was The Son, and Gilbert Gottfried was The Holy Ghost.

J picks: The world we are on is Mars and that it's owned by Taco Bell and Mountain Dew combined

G picks: The world is under attack by aliens nearly constantly and that there are lots of cyborgs on Mars

S picks: Giant Robots are the best line of defense against the aliens and something else that I can't remember

D only wanted one thing because he couldn't think of anything he wanted besides all weapons being swords. No guns. At all.

P didn't pick anything until later and it fucks us all.

Thus the monster that we came to know as Dew N' Dew was born.

>>35421442

> Now, from here it is a bit of a blur.
> The next part of our plan might have involved Captain wearing drag while we snuck our way through the pirate base only to have a final, somewhat awkward standoff with a character that should have mattered, but didn't
> The mighty, Chaoxxx ended up taking many things to the face including a flying tackle from Wendel
> Wendel then initiated HUG mode and armored up Chaoxxx
> Why would he do this, you may ask?

> Well, have you ever tried moving power armor when the suit's security measures are online and the power of the suit itself is fighting you?
> Have you ever fought a robot crazy enough to program his own suit to dance the Macarena unattended because he thought it would be funny?
> Have you ever been trapped inside of such a suit with what may or may not be an incredibly venemous snake named Mushu?
> Probably not, nor had Chaoxxx.

> The snake was the most terrifying part, of course, something the DM had forgotten about despite Wendell's constant reminders.
> "It's okay Mister. Mushu only bites bad people. You aren't a bad person are you? TSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

> So began two long weeks of dance therapy while we carted Chaoxxx back to the GUILD.

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>>35421453

>>35421546

> Chaoxx was left fairly well insane by this point and our group was out of plot hooks
> Luckily, the GUILD knew exactly where we needed to go
> To the planet of [Reference not found] we went
> It was a religious planet, with vikings or something
> The DM was pretty vague on that because he was trying to entice our space nord ship wizard to show some interest
> It worked, of course, and so we found ourselves in an ancient city occupied by religious authorities digging up something they were calling The Maze of Thor
> Thinking that was about as apt a pairing as The Prohibition of Dionysus, I was kind of curious what our DM was thinking.

> Well, the answer seemed forthcoming when all signs pointed toward their encampment in a certain part of the city
> However, De Yi's player and I felt like we might choke on another two to three hours of exposition and so set off into the rest of the city to find our own adventure
> We passed 30 minutes out of game and an hour looking for a damn dig crew, anything adventure worthy
> What we found was only quiet disappointment as we thereafter had to out-of-character sit through another two hour slog of babbling as the giant minotaur "with legs as big around as your chest" called everyone "little one" and rambled on about this or that. Being out of character at this point, I contented myself with making everyone some stir fry while I waited for the plot to move along.

I love this anon. You are love and life.

>>35421453
The DM that had volunteered to run this game was...something. He was just brilliant at making everything so ridiculous yet perfect in this fucked up universe. Players J and P were both Taco Hut (Pizza Hut being owned by Taco Bell in case you didn't know) Delivery Men who went around the super-space capital of Mars delivering Dewrito Loco Tacopizzas to the starving citizens while also doubling as the Judge Dredd-esque protectors of the capital as well. This led to them whipping razorblade-like Tacopizza boxes at evildoing McDonald's Mafia Members and smothering an old man to death when he couldn't pay for the tacopizza he ordered, leading to a line that has became a common joke in our group, "You can't tell where the blood ends and the pizza sauce begins".

>>35421653

> After that, we finally had the privilege of being lead directly to an open mine shaft, covered in electric lighting in which the mining team was supposedly digging.
> Where were the dig crews, I wondered, or the equipment, or anything that would constitute a proper excavation effort?
> Well, it turns out they didn't need any of that.
> They didn't even need people watching up top for cave-ins because they were "super crystal warriors of justice" and had blades that would cut through any armor and could shoot lightning out of their eyes and they were really just so cool, you guys.

> And so these shiny gentlemen escorted us to "the Maze of Thor", which was basically a pyramid with a forcefield around it.
> The Maze part, as it would turn out, just meant ramming your face into a wall of force and passing a series of stupid rolls that statistical averages said you wouldn't make.
> Only one person did, in the end, reaching the end to discover, and you'll never believe this one, Thor himself

>>35421453
That honestly sounds pretty fun. I'm gonna try and get my group to start doing that

>>35421754
It's surprisingly fun as long as you have a DM who can impov with pretty much anything at a moment's notice. Another one we did which turned out pretty well was Post-apocalyptic Russia that had degenerated and been built up all the way to the Medieval Era again with werewolves and strange cultists. The game ended with one of the players finding and old missile silo and re-nuking Russia.

>>35421734

> Well, I shouldn't say, one person
> First of all because it was two living entities, second because both were NPCs
> The first, you will not be surprised to know was Mother of Mary Jesus Zoid
> The second was Mushu, who leapt out of Wendel's head and charged into legend (and apparently sapience because science-magic)
> Anyway, both were then greeted by the mighty god Thor, who was actually Athena, but also Isis, but was really just the Archangel Michael when you threw out all the fake religions.
> There he stood before them claiming he was a ghost genie and would grant them each one wish, as he had promised to do for anyone who reached the end of his maze

> And so Mother of Mary Jesus Zoid wished for Mama Elizabeth to come to her
> Mushu, having been a goddamn snake for her entire life, just asked him to bring "the strange metal one" to her so she could take a nap inside of his head casing, like normal.
> Of course, this meant that those two were then standing at the end of the maze and were thus completely entitled to their own wish
> Elizabeth wished for something I can't recall
> Wendell looked left, looked right, and then said "I wish all my friends were here."

>>35411506
Dark Sun.

I know its a /tg/ favorite, but I fucking hated it.

Boring, dead desert where everything is an edgelord and magic is killing the world.

Yeah, I'll just play Warhammer if I want a crapsack fantasy world.

The art was pretty fucking sick tho.

>>35421726
>"You can't tell where the blood ends and the pizza sauce begins".
OH GOD MY FUKKEN SIDES!!!

>>35421818

> Now to put into context, there was not a single person in the entire campaign that Wendell had not at some point or another identified as a friend.
> Even Chaoxxx was his dance buddy.
> And this is a robot who had lived hundreds of years on dozens of worlds, traveling the galaxy from airlock to airlock
> So came a deafening explosion as a thousand thousand thousand people briefly appeared before Thor's gaze for but a brief moment
> And then the DM realized that granting wishes to everyone was kind of a stupid thing to do and banished everyone but the PCs.

> However, there was one PC who hadn't come in the first place.
> Our space nord wizard, Olegg, had decided to stay behind on the ship to look into virus samples we had gotten from zoid world
> He was a skjald, and he took his studies seriously
> He experienced a pull at a point that he recognized as a force trying to pull him elsewhere and he resisted.
> He, in fact, rolled a four to resist being pulled elsewhere.
> This prompted our DM to give his psychic inclination caller ID that claimed it was from Thor.
> Olegg called bullshit and kept on working.

>>35421726
S and I decided that we would join the military to fight the alien menace in giant Eva-like robots. S played the by-the-book soldier who was exceptionally at war but always got 2nd place to some weird hotshot...and I was the weird hotshot. My character's dark secret was that he was a mutant, which to clarify mutants were banned from the military, but thanks to a sympathetic officer who believed that if I wanted to die for Mars then he'd give me the best opportunity he could. This meant he hooked up my character with a mech that supported his needs. His needs being that his two arms could split into four arms, each being as strong as a regular arm. This meant that in rough parts of battle my mech would go four-armed and start dual-wielding massive greatswords. After the largest fight of Mars' history my character attained the most kills by murdering tons of these giant spider creatures and his rewards was...substantial. I found myself in a dark room with only a chair, a pedestal and a monitor. The monitor flickered on and showed me that I was talking to none other than The Son, Keanu Reeves. He told me to keep up the good fight and sent me a bottle of rare Mountain Dew Black from his personal collection as a reward.

>>35421850
yours just got mazed too huh?

>>35421802

That sounds really cool. Why renuke us though?

>>35421890

> Realizing that he clearly must not have heard correctly, THE GREAT GOD THOR gave a mighty yank on Olegg's chord
> And with a natural 3, Olegg told him to go fuck himself
> But the DM didn't bother respecting the dice this time
> And so Olegg was pulled through reality by the command of a being identifying himself as his god and plopped down in terrifying god space
> There Olegg saw the image of Thor made up grander than mortal imagination whereupon Thor declared once more that he was who he was

> And at this point, Olegg and his player had had enough:
> "Images mean nothing, and I swear now by my ancestors you are not my god. By Wotin's name you are a liar and a cheat, for my gods don't intrude into their follower's lives nor do they rip them from their homes during times of crisis. They trust that with their own sweat, blood, and tears they will carry their own burdens. Get out of my sight, and get me back to my ship so that I can get back to work."
> And thus began an awkward conversation as a DM who knew absolutely nothing about Norse mythology tried convincing his much better versed player's character that he truly was Thor.
> He even tried offering to bring his dad in to prove it.
> But eventually Olegg got his boots back on the ship and "Thor" out of his hair.

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>>35421895

Lmfao, what the fuck am I reading! XD

>>35421895
D and G were cyborg soldiers who basically just fought off the little bugs during the war so that the big boys could handle business. The cyborgs and us robots didn't really do anything funny, but the combat was pretty fucking fun even though we were limited to swords and railguns that shot, you guessed it, swords.

The weirdest thing however was that Gilbert Gottfried was actually a ghost, but not just a normal ghost no...he was a ghost inside of machines. He could (and would) appear inside of random electronics and (luckily our DM could do a spot on impression of him) would scream at the top of his lungs "DEW THE DEW" and then everyone within earshot would have to trace a lightning bolt across their chest and murmur "Dew the Dew" or they would be abducted by the Secret Taco Police and would never be seen again.

Unfortunately I don't have our notebook where we chronicled the great stories of Dew N' Dew or I'd go into detail about them. We haven't played Dew N' Dew for a long time now since the DM of the campaign pretty much lives with his girlfriend in Canada now (amerifag here) and rarely comes home to play with us.

>>35421978

> The rest of us weren't so lucky, because for our incredible performance in besting his maze, the GREAT GOD THOR had clearly seen in us the potential to shoulder even more power.
> As the second god to start shooting out gifts when his authority was questioned, this time we were individually brought to a room with 7 super sentai orbs of rather vague elements.
> And so we were asked to pick from them to choose our new super sentai powers.
> Some people got two apiece by guile, but all were then teleported out of the Maze of Thor with a strange desire to go to super sentai world to receive training in the ways of rainbow ninjutsu

>>35421947
It wasn't out of malicious intent I assure you! He was a Medieval era turnip farming peasant and upon discovering the old missile silo under a giant dried out fountain in the plaza of New Stalingrad was enticed by the most horrifying and alluring thing that an uneducated person could happen upon...

...A big red button.

>>35422049
>...A big red button
Every time

>>35422044

And at this point this tale is just about reaching it's end. The DM was pretty much as lost as us at this point, but that didn't stop him from continuing. Onward, to super sentai world we went.

> There our characters received elemental training.
> Wendell, being an airhead, picked air
> And thus he was put on a tough regimen of running....
> "DM, Wendell doesn't have legs..."
> Ah, right, he meant to say, pushups
> "DM, Wendell doesn't have arms..."
> Okay, swinging from vines and jumping off cliffs
> "DM, Wendell doesn't have hands and he can fly."
> Well, he could turn that off
> And that's why Wendell spent a little under a month throwing himself off cliffs because the nice people told him to.

All of this ended up being in preparation for nothing in particular as we meandered about wondering what to do with our new found power. The final showdown happened on a world filled with exploding zombies where we fought a lich who was secretly using a planet to seal the DMs OP past character from destroying the universe. We succeeded, of course. Arguably we won the game, but damned if it wasn't like dragging a sack of rabid wombats to the mall. I mean, we did it. At times it was painful. At others, it was enjoyable in a "we couldn't be doing anything stranger" way, but at the end, you have to ask what the hell you were doing and whether you've contracted an illness in the process that might slowly drive you insane.

And that's it. The end.

>>35422049

Ah, well, that happens to the best of us.

>>35422138
I know, my character was the only decently educated person in the game seeing as he was the Royal Advisor to J who was the King of New Stalingrad. My character was also the leader of the cultists in New Stalingrad (oops) and I murdered a few innocent people hoping that the eldritch gods I followed would heed my prayers, which they did, but not in the ways that I wanted.

>>35422157
Thanks for the long retarded story. I want to play something like this some day.

>>35411906
That reminds me of a April Fools edition of Challenge where they published "Cattletech: The Herd Invasion"

>>35422157
ARCHIVE. THIS. NOW.

>>35422276

Your welcome, anon. I've been meaning to do this for a while and while I'll be tired as hell in the morning, it's been fun. Thanks for reading along.

I honestly can't see how better this thread could have been. You are truly a fa/tg/uy amongst neckbeards

I'll see if I can get our Dew N' Dew notebook sometime soon so I can share the full Dew N' Dew experience with you guys. Until then someone please archive this other guy's story because it's goddamn brilliant. Look for me in other setting threads fa/tg/uys!

>>35422304

It's on sup/tg/ now. Feel free to vote it up or to save it elsewhere. "TG Does Strange" is the title.

>>35416322
>>35411867
>>35415720
naw dude, all these white bread fantasy universes are totally interchangeable and totally boring. oh, wow, you guys have a true neutral god of nature too? and a neutral good god of justice? ca-razy!

don't get me wrong, there are still interesting stories to be told in any of these places. i've had some really very interesting campaigns set in forgotten realms, golorian, greyhawk, all of the sort of 'standard' i guess you could say fantasy settings, but not a single one of them is dependent on the setting, they could very easily be pushed from forgotten realms to greyhawk, for example.

there ARE interesting fantasy settings, they just, uh, don't tend to get used in tabletop rpgs. the eldritch venice of the locke lamora books, the stifling despair of perdido street station, things like those are the fantasy stories that are dependent on their settings; try to port them to golorian and it all falls apart.

>>35411506
Shadowrun

>>35418901
Or do it anyways, wait for her to ask you why the thriving metropolis is now a backwoods village, give her your biggest shit eating grin, and simply ask "Yeah, funny. Why IS that?".

Then watch them go crazy trying to figure out the big secret plot behind everything.

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>>35421897
Why did that just make me think of:

"The druid...he got mazed too."

>>35421156
>Or maybe they built the star inside of a planet
My sides

>>35422526
>perdido street station
Ugh. That book was so far up its own ass it could crawl out of its own mouth.

>>35411506
Exalted

>>35418336
I hate shitty dime-a-dozen GM's who come up with these wellsprings of banality and ill-fitting conceit.

>>35422526
we actually have a game running the Lamora book setting, funnily enough not as our own band of thieves but as merchants/venture capitalists/opportunistic privateers
that last one came recently after we managed to purchase our own brand new sloop and a basket of half-feral cats

its on and off because the guy who DMs it isn't always around(works on a rig) but it really is quite fun, its made a lot easier since the books do a lot to detail the cultures and styles of the setting, especially since Locke spends half his time pretending to be completely different characters

I was once low magic game, we were told that elves bad been extinct for millenia and spellcasting was a lost art

So naturally our very first combat was against an elf necromancer

>>35411506
Homebrew ERP Doctor Who-based pathfinder campaign where everyone was gnomes.

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>>35411506
Generic high fantasy setting, not bad for 3 months, untill...
"An 8 foot tall man in green armor with a giant single golden eye steps from the pod, you see others awaken, they grab strange weaponry from their backs and begin to kill the advancing undead horde just by pointing the devices at them and pulling a trigger"

We were then informed that these Spartan warriors would help us to get to the vessels that would take us off the planet before the metal shell we knew as the surface collapsed onto the real planet underneath.

Guess what the DM had recently played?

>>35427187
If your GM(or storyteller period really) tells you that an ancient extinct race existed with some lost power, always expect one or the other, or both, to make a major appearance as a 'shock' twist.

>>35427536
Mario Kart?

>>35427480
that doesn't sound terrible, that sounds awesome
what was so shit about it?

>>35427536
For some reason that looked like that Covenant dude was just killing a Turian.
>Halo Effect

>>35415352
I actually got landed with a bunch of ponyfags who were doing a homebrew once, didn't have much of a choice so I just rolled with it and made a unicorn wizard or some shit. Was surprisingly fun and not as awkward as I though as it'd be, the fact that it was based on ponies hardly came up at all. It was like a fantasy kitchen sink, but everyone's a pony. 6.5/10 would probably play again.

Probably the homebrew setting for the first 3.5 game I was in. There were six continents, and each continent had exactly one thing to do on it. The entire game was "go from this continent to the next, make a few search checks until you find the only thing of note on the entire continent, fight the boss there, and activate the Plot Orb for that area" There was one small island at one point, that was pretty useless until the DM shoehorned in some bullshit about it at the last minute. Really boring.

>>35418962
Proper story's supposed to start at the beginning. Ain't so simple with this one.

hrmm, this might turn out a bit long winded, but sure I'll have a go

It was Birthright.......sort of.
It was Birthright set in a weird cosmic dimension where instead of just being the lords of different lands we were the rulers of floating islands/sections of the dimension, entirely shaped by their alignments.
We were leShay, yes THOSE mary sue super elves, and started at level 20 of whatever classes we chose to pick. This should of been the first sign of things to come, I ignored it.
As it turns out not everyone chose wisely and effectively made the worst level 20 characters possible and this was not helped at all out by the DMs thing for his own numerous DMPCs and liberal use of GM fiats.

To really get an of what the setting was like let me describe two of the nations, one was the barren land of the evil populated by the undead and the other was the golden fortress city of paladins and constant vigilance. Seems simple, except they were connected by an indestructable bridge, the only two lands connected like this, the rest had easily defensible transportation gates. The poor newbie who ended up playing the ruler of the undead nation ended up having to deal with the DMs minmaxed personal DMPC leading crusade after crusade over and generally being humiliated for amusemt.
That really should of clued us in.

Especially as this DMPC ended up being a majorly central to the plot, better at combat than anyone else and also morally superior by virtue of being Lawful Good, at least on paper anyway.

Then another guy who had to get his people in line, who were evil nation I believe, had to put down unrest and when he said he was going to be ruthless and keep killing any groups that dissented was ruled to have depopulated his entire kingdom and that the bodies were now causing a miasma ala dwarf fortress, all in the span of a single year. He also became a target for constant humiliation at the hands of DMPCs and fiat.

Yet we continued despite it only getting worse.

>>35427791
I had a DM who ran ponyfinder once, it honestly wasn't awful and no one took it into magical realm territory. It was one of those "just tell yourself they're fey creatures and roll with it" kind of games.

>>35427556
That's the thing: there was no big reveal, there was just an elf that showed up, said he was an elf, and then we got jumped by (his) skeletons while he fast spells at us. First encounter. No buildup to it.

The GM must of thought he was terribly clever or original to have the big reveal of this in the very first fight, but it just felt assinine in practice.

>>35416195
Yeah, Forgotten Realms was awful. Coming from a long Greyhawk campaign into FR was like eating at a 5-Star restaurant for years and then switching to McDonald's.

Eberron was slightly worse, so kudos to Wizard's of the Coast for managing to pull that off.

>>35411506
Seascape.

>>35418933
Must have been pretty accurate to the show, then.

>>35417052
Seconded, I'm a forever GM. Guess what I play?
>captcha "the whelpoli"
No captcha, it is the gnome.

>>35429514
Honestly I thought FR had a chance to be really good but alot of the books and characters just piled on top of each other to make it substandard.

>>35429514
>Eberron was slightly worse

how do you figure? eberron has a more consistent theme than FR and has less of FR's problems (no super-powerful NPCs wandering around, no metaplots intruding every new edition, ect)

>>35429514
I like Eberron.

But your opinion is just as valid as mine.
I guess these things really comes down to your DM and how you interact with the world you're flung into.

>>35411506
40K

>>35415885
The SunnyD kills me in this picture.

>>35416235
>Orlando
>Tfw these kind of people exist within a few miles of my town
Thankfully, everything's boring and normal(ish) here.

>>35417052
This happened in my group too. Any idea why?

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I played in a session once with my friend's friend's friend DMing for a party of 5. It was pretty much just a standard rapey magical realm.

It was pitched to me as a lawful evil campaign where the party would be mercenaries. It started with us selling sex slaves and devolved from there.

>>35420314
The game mechanics of RIFTS are pretty terrible, but I always thought the setting was its one redeeming factor.

I'd play RIFTS all day with a different system. I'm thinking of converting the world to Fate Accelerated and having a go at running it.

>>35421453
That's pretty close to how the book says to start a Fate campaign. Except the players and GM also decide on the genre and the players weave their backgrounds together as part of choosing their starting aspects.

It can be incredible with the right group and disastrous with the wrong one.

>>35430735

I like you.

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>THIS THREAD

>>35427536
>GM tries to do something different and unexpected
>Obviously bad

Screw off /v/, I'd play the shit out of that setting.

>>35418771
Because you're the kind of person who is worried about that failing, you don't fail that way, ken?

>>35423545
>"Yeah, funny. Why IS that?"
I suppose you could do that, but I always feel like that gives the game away. The players will instantly know somethings up and you are pulling something.
I would just say "What are you talking about? This has always been a small time village."

>>35432722
>...then he woke up ending
>good

Yeah, no. If they had played for a session or two before the GM pulled that, and the GM turned them into Spartans who had similar roles/powers as their original characters, that would be awesome. But playing for 3 months - plenty of time to get attached to the characters and setting - before that happening is just painful.

>>35411506
Almost every homebrew setting is terrible. As far as published, I'd have to say Rifts.

>>35419296
You want to bitch about a problem you aren't willing to even try to solve?
Go bitch somewhere else, your autism is showing.

>>35411506

Long story short, it was a Star Wars saga game where the story took place 5,000 years after episode 6.

Everything was the same, except different; we had all the usual characters and all, but we it wasn't the same because fuck you.

Case in point: We met Jabba the hutt except he was a descendent of Jabba the hutt. He acted exactly like Jabba, had the same palace, the same mannerisms, except he spoke common and was the descendent of Jabba the hutt.

We ended up kicking the GM out for unrelated bullshit but the overall game was just a crapshoot.

WWtA where Werewolves and Vampies were coexisting in some alternate realm where they were all becoming Buddhists. There really was no game progression, just a confused party punished for any violence, railroaded into building temples.

>>35411506
Homebrew Alternity setting with two additional special snowflake GM made races that were 300% better than any of the core races. Never fail, no save mind reading race, and never fail, absolute immunity to mind reading race. Don't pick Telepathy as a skill, as the least baby of this race is better than you at it. Don't expect your high WIL stat or resistances to mean anything, your mind is read unless you are the other race.

On top of this, the setting was pitched to us as 'like Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy.' Mistakenly beleived that we would then be making a ship crewed by Zaphod Breeblebrox, Marvin the Paranoid Android, Ford Prefect, Hotblack Desatio, and all the most bizarre and fun characters we could muster to inflict wacky, pink mohawk shenanigans on the galaxy. Instead, regardless of what our characters background or quirks were, we were all Arthur Dent. Completely confused at every turn, unable to affect their surroundings in any meaningful way, dependent on the various side characters to resolve plots, and passively sitting around and letting shit happen to us, never able to take any control of the narrative. The setting itself could have been salvaged, but those two races had to go.

>>35418336
Any homebrewed setting advertised as 'unique' or 'original' will probably be neither.

>>35415885
I always thought he was staring at you with his face half shadowed in that picture.

I'm sad now.

>>35418414
Fuck it I give.
What is it really from.

A 'kingmaker' game where no knowledges were allowed. Had three boss battles, a player introduced as a boss battle, and a priest that kicked people out of town for agreeing with him.

>>35418336

Any setting that uses "unique" and "interesting" as a descriptor for their settings is either a tryhard or an uncreative bell-end whose creative output basically amounts to comma-splicing several settings together in a blender.

>>35418268
>second half of the 12 hour session.
>12 hour session
And I was afraid our 8 hour sessions were overkill.

>>35431081
>Orlando
>Normal and boring
Man, I don't know where you live but SWAT is out here once a year minimum. This place is a fucking shithole.

>>35425306
>>35439059
>>35439358

What if the GM realizes it's generic fantasy and just doesn't want to use something that exists already?

>>35436498
Is RIFTS still made of 1950s B-movies, autistically detailed histories about generations-long wars between a pair of tiny post-Apocalyptic city-states, giant stompy robots, hand-head nuclear bomb launchers, and munchkin semen?

>>35440240
Well yeah. You make it sound like a bad thing.

Forgotten Realms is really the only setting I dismiss out of hand.

>>35436498
Nah, I've been in multiple non-shit homebrew settings. What you want though, is a homebrew setting that isn't trying it's hardest to be unique or isn't the DM's special baby setting that's going to be in his novel. The best DM I ever played with ran Alternity with three different homebrew settings, D&D twice with homebrew settings and once with planar Greyhawk. His settings were all really fucking good - his problem was his hombrew rules, which if I wasn't there to curb his excesses, leaned WAY too far into the simulationist range and out of the 'fun to play' range.

>>35415799
>Baskin Robbins elves
What

Magical Realm the Rapening

>>35442260
21 different flavours of Elf. High Elves, Wood Elves, Dark Elves, Valley Elves, Wild Elves, Sun Elves, Moon Elves, Star Elves, Desert Elves, Snow Elves, Valley Elves, Star Elves, Aquatic Elves...

That's thirteen I can name off the top of my head. You get the idea.

>>35442895
Whoops, I put Star Elf twice.

>>35442913
I don't know why but that just makes it even funnier.

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I made this thing for anyone who wants it.

>>35442913
Maybe one Star Elf is a type of space elf.

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I have three contenders for worst setting. And I confess that I was the DM for 2 of them

1. MLP: Roleplaying is magic. Alien AI invades a future steampunk Equestria.
>[redacted due to shame]

2. Shadowrun campaign that had been going well... up to a point
>home brew San Francisco
>Mayor of San Fran is a dragon
>Alcatraz is a magic dead zone where they imprison mages
>There is a giant AI Called the Leviathan inhabiting the San Fran area's Matrix.
>one shadowrunning group who just make mistakes in the best way
>time goes on. game goes well
>DM decides she wants to try pulling some Phillip K. Dick reality bending story arc
>and gets time travellers from the future mixed into the mess
>and somehow Starfleet's founding was involved
>The fuck was I thinking?!
>the group is trapped in a virtual reality that might not be a virtual reality
>3 out of 6 PC's commit suicide. they don't do something dumb equivalent to suicide. They commit suicide
>one by seppuku
>one by panicked suicide note followed by bullet to the head
>one chugs bleach
>game did not improve. died shortly after

The third contender for worst setting is actually some of the most fun I've ever had in a game. It's all about who's running it.

synopsis- Firefly zombie apocalypse caused by robo panda with the voice of a japanese schoolgirl
more to follow

>>35444399
in b4 the Eldar jokes

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One of my friends whom I had gamed with often before (notably in my short lived rifts game, and in his fallout game) was going to run the firefly RPG.
Before the Story begins proper you must understand one very important fact- This man was and is insane

>group makes characters
>Me: Garret, the midget Captain of a firefly class ship with a name relating to wolves. dual wields revolvers
>Player 2: Marrien, first mate and war buddy of Garret. throws knives
>Player 3: forgot name, ship's doctor. on a quest to be the best doctor in the verse.
>player 4: samurai ronin guy.
>player 5: I forgot
>player 6: also forgotten
>
>First session
>as we make our way to a planet to conduct crime things we pick up a distress beacon from an alliance ship
>Being a thief with some honor I decide we're going to help them
>The ship was not a democracy
>ship is seemingly abandoned as we try to find survivors.
>find lab area
>doctor swipes some samples
>hear noises outside
>fight our way through the walking dead.
>fight our way back to the ship through zombies and alliance black ops clean up crews
>continue on our way like nothing happened
>do some jobs for this local crime boss.
>crime boss dishonors our ronin
>Ronin and player 5 take a shuttle and infiltrate the Boss's space station to seek revenge
>Garret holds a rare democratic vote to decide if they will go in to save/help their fellow crew mates
>Certain that 2 guys will surely fail when storming a mafia base, we load up for war
>said 2 guys are pulling their plan off without a hitch
>get into Boss's bedroom
>kill boss
>rescue party arrives
>load mule with explosives to clear way
>mule kills 2 guards who had no idea what was coming. absolutely no resistance in the base.
>most poorly defended mafia base ever

next- vacation planet, bandits with nukes, and the doctor who would be highlander

>#2 mafia guy, Mr. Darcy, is now #1, so he sends us to a secret vacation planet for the rich and famous to show his gratitude
>after shenanigans at customs we hit vacation mode
>alliance cruiser crashes into city
>zombies
>Now the party is fighting its way through the city, trying to save civilians if we can.
>hijack hover party bus. use it as roaming fortress
>We find ourselves in the crashed alliance cruiser trying to find a ship off the planet
>we find tactical nukes nukes
>I decide that the nukes are worth risking the lives of my entire crew for
>This was not a democracy
>we escape the planet, and get back to our ship
>loot: 36 tactical nukes, some civilians, spec ops grade military gear
>We fly to our good friend Mr. Darcy's space station, and escape the blockade, and subsequent glassing of the planet
>decide to sell off some of our nuclear arsenal for some sweet sweet cash
>Mr. Darcy finds two buyers.
>Monte the gambling crime lord. flies a riverboat in space. never confirmed, but I imagine it was so.
>Ping-Ping the robotic panda with the voice of a Japanese schoolgirl
>being a thief of honor I don't necessarily want nuclear armed crime lords. BUT I want their money
>decide to sells nukes to both sides in the hopes that they will wipe each other out. I get money and do a good deed. a win-win
>both buy my nukes
>I kept some because I want them
>Ping-Ping kills Monte and uses him as a sock puppet
>Ping-Ping now has all the nukes I sold
>
>While that was happening
>The ship's doctor decides to strike up a deal with Ping-Ping
>He would give Ping-Ping the sample of the zombie virus he swiped, and in Return Ping-Ping would kill every other doctor in the verse that it could
>this is how our doctor planned on becoming the best doctor in the verse. he would be the only doctor in the verse

next- How we brought about the end of all things, Colonel Walken- the best Alliance officer, and the nuketastic conclusion

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>Later we learned of what our doctor had done. We are unhappy with him
>Mr. Darcy then informs us that the zombie virus can not only survive a nuclear explosion, but feed off it and use it to be dispersed over a planetary area.
>We Realize that we are facing the end of days at the hands of a robotic panda with a high pitched voice.
>We decide whether or not to kill our doctor
>He is about to be one of the only doctors so we need him.
>I use the money we gained by selling off the nukes to arm our ship with multiple cannons, and torpedo tubes for our nukes.
>Armed to the teeth we set forth to stop the apocalypse we brought about
>The planet Persephone is being over run by zombies
>for reasons that escape me we needed to go down to the surface
>planet is quarantined and alliance won't let anyone through
>we argue with alliance officer about how we need to get down there for reasons we made up. insult him,
>another officer comes on. The DM is doing a spot on Christopher Walken impersonation. We name the officer Colonel Walken.
>Colonel Walken liked our style so he lets us through
>no clue why we went down there in the first place
>after leaving the surface we decide on a plan of action.
>I call Ping-Ping and insult him
>Ping-Ping is now coming to kill me
>We need an army to fight Ping-Ping
>I send a message out to Reaver space and Insult them
>Reavers are now coming to kill everyone
>We need an army to fight the Reavers
>I call Colonel Walken and plan a coup de tat of the local alliance fleet.
>we storm the alliance flag ship and make Colonel Walken the head of the fleet
>Ping-Ping arrives
>Reavers arrive
>everyone then starts arming their respective nuclear arsenals
>One glorious nukefest and it was all over
>We were big damn heroes, who had nearly ended the human race

This could be the worst setting because of how over the top and not firefly it was, but the DM was crazy enough that when he ran it it was fun. if anyone else ran this it would be a mess.

>>35411506

Did someone already say 40k?

>>35446084
They would be admitting they had played 40k. No sane person is going to do that.

Besides, people that play 40k don't have enough sense or taste to recognize bad settings. They don't even have enough sense to bathe.

The worst thing I've ever played is DnD 4e.
The best thing I've ever played is DnD 4e.

The only thing I've ever played is DnD 4e.

>>35437189
So, someone can not bitch in a bitching thread without them being autistic?

Im already dealing with the problem, i do not need you to tell me how to deal with shit.

I posted what i consider the worst setting that i have played in, you are the cunt making assumptions i have not already tried a solution. Sorry if someone not walking away from their friends upsets you.

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>>35446043
I can't stop laughing. I'm imagining Joss Whedon reading this.

>>35446043

Most amusing, good sir.

>>35426309
i'd be very curious to hear some stories from that game

>>35446201
I feel sorry for you

>>35430807
I like how the lamp is strategically positioned to make the Sunny D glow.

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Played a 3.5 homebrew a few years ago

It was pretty much vanilla D&D but with Bahamut and Tiamat as the main pantheon, it also had a bunch golem tech which was pretty cool

Had a lot of potential but was wasted because of railroading and the DM constantly hamfisting his DMPC's into every session

Also the DM revealed he was a furry partway through which explained why half-dragons were just as common, if not more so than humans

>>35446043
It was amazing. Period.

>>35447585
Yeah, well, most of its a pretty standard game, although rather than plumbing dungeons for treasure we are hunting down a former employee who was skimming funds off the top or establishing trade routes to new cities or nations.
Some stuff has stood out though, such as getting chased out of Talisham for smuggling in drugs along with a shipment of spices or the time we had to negotiate with a low level bondsmage about a shipment of what were essentially spell components all while the merchant writhed on the ground in paid. Probably the best was artificially causing a huge demand in Tel Verarr and then profiteering off the starving masses.

>>35411506
In all honesty? Any generic medieval fantasy setting. I prefer my settings to have something that distinguishes it from other fantasy settings. For instance, the current campaign I'm in is in a magitech setting where the "walls" surrounding the universe (effectively blocking it off from other universes, the whole universe was trapped in a time loop as a prison for one of the big bad extra-dimensional entities) have broken down thanks to the actions of the previous campaign about 75 years ago in-universe.

The sole exception is if the setting if focused around dragons, cause I love dragons more than I should.

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>>35446043
>>Colonel Walken liked our style so he lets us through

>>35446201
4e is a system not a setting

>>35452245
yes it is,where do you think Dragonborn came from?

>>35452520
Forgotten Realms?

>>35452520
Skyrim?

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>>35446432
Does he stop every third sentence to remind you how fucking witty he is and swearing an oath to never let a scene flow naturally?

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>>35422018
I can't stop laughing at this horse shit.
pls anon, you must find those notes. i wont be able to go on without this tale in my life.

>>35411506
>humor my friend to GMing for us, might be fun
>it was not
>Succumbs to every cleche, Every Trope, Every rookie mistake you could possibly do.
>All the races had a "Different" Spin on them, some were irrelevant, some should jave just been different races all together.
>Elves were all japanese and worshiped the Japanese pantheon, the names weren't even changed.
>Orcs were fucking Octopedal Bug things
>Couldnt even have a fucking Goblin without some sort of stupid twist
>The rest of the setting was ether lifted from Warcraft or Forgotten Realms, creating a terrible amalgam between the two.

Never
again.

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>>35452228

>>35416235
>Not a knife but a dagger he brought along with the rest of his props and threaten me to let him back in.
...I think I need more details. Is this the character drawing a dagger or the player drawing a dagger? Because if it's the latter, that's WAY too much crazy.

>>35445745
>>I decide that the nukes are worth risking the lives of my entire crew for
>>This was not a democracy
kek

>>35419729
No, don't stop! Carry on! More!

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>>35452664

>>35418268
>12 hour session
Yikes.

>>35411506
Define "worst". I have a particularly autistic canon that I've played in, but I actually enjoy it as a sort of guilty pleasure.

>>35442913
And Valley Elf.

>>35445745
>loot: 36 tactical nukes
WHAT

>>35453156
it was the player