>>36210424
>And before THAT, you met face-to-face with a goddess and didn't actually fuck everything up.
Time to correct that!

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>>36210424
Not that you're thinking any of that right now. So here you are, completely and utterly conked out, unconscious before Ester managed to princess-carry you back to the inn. Hell, even if you weren't sleeping, you'd totally be On Break; no one could possibly pay you enough to give a fuck about anything. You DESERVE to rest, dammit.

... which OF COURSE means that you won't be getting a whole lot of rest, because your tired, overworked subconscious may have plans. Plans involving dreams.

[ ] [THE PAST] and something you forgot.
[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.
[ ] [SOMETHING ELSE] that might not make sense.
[ ] [NOTHING] Who the hell has time to dream!? You've got a long day ahead of you!

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.
Time for more angry dorfs

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.

>>36210424
>Its happening!

>>36210461
>[X] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked. Wrapped in a nice colorful wrapping.

Man, amnesia is such a trope. We don't got time for out corrupted savestates to drag us down, man. We're a new build, fresh off the upgrade and ready for patching. The past is dead, and only the present remains.

>>36210647
The past is a scary place. The less time spent there, the better.

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PAST] and something you forgot.

>>36210424
>you'd still be out sleeping on the slushy pavement like a smelly armored hobo (although that's also synonymous with "dwarf").
i can see smelly armored
but hobo? having a fortress means not being homeless.

>>36210461
>[ ] [THE PRESENT] and something you overlooked.

>>36210794
We don't have a fortress currently though. So really, we are homeless/fortless

>>36210919
I know, but that doesn't make it dwarfish.

Dwarf = bearded, muscular, always has a home (underground fortress)
Ulrist = beardless, weak, homeless
Ulrist = sucks at being a dwarf

>>36210461
>[X] [THE PAST] and something you forgot.
We need to figure out what the wasp queen wanted with us.

>>36211030
>weak
nah

>>36210461
>[ ] [SOMETHING ELSE] that might not make sense.
a carnival going horribly, horribly wrong.

>>36210919
oh god, we're a MIGRANT.

>>36211135
Or we started in adventure mode.

I mean, the MC does represent all of DF.

>>36211135
> profession: beekeeper
> light combat skills
It all makes sense.

>>36210461
[X] [SOMETHING ELSE] that might not make sense.

Also fuck yes I've finally caught one of these threads.

>>36210461
>[x] [THE PAST] and something you forgot.

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>>36210461
>[X] [THE PRESENT]

You're suddenly back in front of the Basilicom, screaming bloody murder at the world in general and at giant monstrous flies in particular. Unlike cruel reality, though, you're actually managing to fire bolt after bolt at the flies like some sort of legendary crossbowdwarf, and the flies are dropping like- like flies, for lack of a better term. More importantly, acrid fear isn't pumping through your veins, and for the first time in recent history, you're actually ecstatic.

The reason for this becomes abundantly clear when you reach for your chin and your hand is engulfed by a properly dwarven beard, soft and luxurious and braided with the tears of your enemies. Tears of joy immediately soak your downy cheeks, and you whoop and holler as dead giant flies rain down around your head and soak you in ichor.

... wait, that's not right.

You quickly glance around. CPU White Heart's over /there/, slamming her horrific maul into the man-sized flies and reducing them to their component parts. Dressed in her traditional battle bikini done up in Famicom colors, she manages to be imposing despite her short stature; with a roar, she lets her momentum carry her further into the fray, absolutely untouchable. Ester dances around White Heart's attacks, intimately familiar with the goddess's rhythm, shouting out attack names before eviscerating flies with her sword. Occasionally, she shield-slams a fly, hurling it into the path of White Heart's hammer swings like a butcher sending cuts of meat into the grinder (with much the same result).

Except they're way over /there/, and fly parts still rain down around you.

(Cont.)

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Oh yes dorf fort time!

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>>36211638
You look up. Flies are swarming in from the sky- no, they're appearing out of thin air like an invisible portal's dropping them, and they plummet a few feet before their wings take over. Even as they appear, every third fly seems to disintegrate, insectoid bodies crumpling under some unseen force that punches straight through them with strange sounds.

zip SPLORTCH

twhip POP

zing MULCH

You don't have time to look around for your mysterious helper when a sudden impact sends you sprawling.

"Urist! Urist Twelfthbeard!"

You look down and immediately recoil as multiple alien arms, impossibly long, wrap around you; the fly monsters' leader drags you closer, yet the distance between you seems to grow. That buzzing voice screams maniacally into your ears, with enough force to make your eardrums bleed. "Why, Urist? Why did you forget? I made you forget, but why didn't you remember? Why!? Why didn't I just kill you?"

Goddammit. Even in your dreams, the damn fly doesn't make any sense. You start smelling (the nostalgic scent of) brimstone, and there are suddenly horrible hair-covered bug hands cupping your cheeks and a giant fly face looms so close that you can COUNT the weird rectangles in the thing's eyes and ew ew ew

"I /own/ you, Urist."

EW EW EW EW

[ ] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
[ ] [NOPE] right out of there with your runnin' feet because YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
[ ] [BEARD] is love, [BEARD] is life. [BEARD] will save you.
[ ] [SUMMON] your friends! You... you DO have friends, right?
[ ] [WAKE UP] because this is just getting silly and EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

>>36211670
>[X] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

>>36211670
>[x] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

>>36211670
>[ ] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

>>36211670
>[x] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
Featherweights don't push Urist around!

>>36211670
>[X] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
>[X] [BEARD] is love, [BEARD] is life. [BEARD] will save you.
It will go differently this time. We've got glorious, glorious facial hair.

Can we get a side-quest to de-moe ourselves?
Is that actually the main quest, and we just haven't gotten there yet?

>>36211670
>[X] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
>[X] [BEARD] is love, [BEARD] is life. [BEARD] will save you.

Do what Chuck Norris would do, punch him with you hidden beardfist!

>>36211670
>] [SUMMON] your friends! You... you DO have friends, right?
Call your big sis Urist

I hope you don't sleep talk

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>>36211670
>[ ] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
>[ ] [BEARD] is love, [BEARD] is life. [BEARD] will save you.
Combine these two. [PUNCH] with your [BEARD]! Because it doesn't matter if you don't have the Beard on the outside, what matters is if you have the Beard on the inside.

>>36211670
>[ ] [PUNCH] with your fists because THIS IS GETTING EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE

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>>36211738
>Urist de-moeing herself
>implying the physics of Gamindustri will ever let that happen
>implying the ride will ever end

>>36211814
I still want the Moesonification of Ogre Quest to appear, Blorp.

>>36211670
>Why did you forget?
Because you are a.... forgotten beast?

BADUM-TSSSSHHH!!!

File: 1407459194932.gif (1.65 MB, 280x224)

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>>36211814
Why would you take my hope away

>>36211670
>[ ] [WAKE UP] because this is just getting silly and EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE
While screaming I NEED AN ADULT.

I also find it amusing that Urist has apparently forgotten Bugs.

>>36211882
Are the flies a thing from Dwarf Fortress?

>>36211970
It was a pun. They're bugs. Like bugs in a program. DF has had many bugs over the years.

>>36211670
>[PUNCH] with your HEAD and then your fists, because this guy IS A CREEPY FUCKING FLY!
>[BEER] will help this dream make sense and take the edge off this tortured sobriety

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>>36211670
>[X] [PUNCH]
>[X] [BEARD]

Really, there's only one possible solution.

With a disgusted growl, you struggle to rip the arms away from you, but they've got you held tight. A little thing like THAT isn't going to stop you, so you curl up your beard (using muscles you never knew you had) and, with the force of your GLORIOUS HAIR FOLLICLES, give the fly monster your best right hook, cutting off its inane ramblings with a disgusting 'crunch.' Your cackle as your beard greedily absorbs the ichor, feeding its thirst for violence, and as each individual hair swells to MAXIMUM LUXURIOUSNESS, they form even smaller fists that begin wailing on the beleaguered fly monster.

Yeah, that's right, you crazy cryptic cretin, losing IS fun! You'll lose him right up the ASS! You'll- you'll-

You'll stare at the battered face of Moru, whose tan, bruised features glare up at you with a sort of sullen resignation. "I knew it," the catgirl growls flatly and a trifle indistinctly, spitting out a fang and a glob of blood. "I knew you'd snap. That's how you're wired, innit? Disgusting."

You drop Moru and she slumps to the ground, staring at you accusingly. No, that's not- that's not it at all-

"Disgusting!" The dwarf standing behind you bellows, his beard bristling with anger. "You call yourself a dwarf with that skillset? Does it LOOK like we need beekeepers here? And your /hair/!"

You grab for your beard, but it's gone, replaced by horrible /bald/. As you stammer in horror, the /bald/ spreads further up, leaving your head as hairless as an elf- no, MORE hairless than an elf.

"Sorry, chummer," the dwarf growls, pushing you away from the shining fortress gates. "You're going straight for the militia. Here's your assigned uniform of /abso-fucking-lutely nothing, you waste of space, now go join the rest of your fellows, we're fighting a bit of an infestation-"

You whirl around, only to see the brutalized corpse of Ester. And a river.

The Carp stands up.

(Cont.)

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>>36212550

Your head hits the floor with a painful thump, and you spend the next half minute whimpering and clutching your head- your thankfully braided head with its luxurious strands of golden-brown hair- and /enjoying/ it, because it means you're not dreaming anymore, thank fucking Armok, FUCK dreams, dreams are absolute BULLSHIT that every hack of an author abuses to shower clumsy foreshadowing and amateur hour emotion-tugging because they've run out of filler to vomit onto the page-

When you run out of curses to spit out to an uncaring floor, you disentangle yourself from the bedsheets and stand up, the adrenaline rush fading as you furtively glance around. It's a tastefully decorated room, in that it's not crammed to the gills with mushroom decorations and cheery colors. Instead, there's some sort of pyramid made up of three golden triangles, and the interior decorators worked THAT poor bastard to death instead, because it's absolutely everywhere.

Lessee... Ester's nowhere to be seen, and neither is Moru. Other than that, there're two beds, one small window, and one pillow fort that appears to have absolutely consumed one corner of the room.

Your left eye twitches. The pillow fort is shoddily constructed.

[ ] [EXIT] Go downstairs. The pillow fort offends your autism, this room is dead to you.
[ ] [EXPLORE FORT] Clear it out because you're a paranoid basket case who's been traumatized by bullshit tombs guarded by bullshit undeads.
[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?
[ ] [MESSAGES] Check your phone. Reaffirm your status as a zombie tied to technology.
[ ] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36212568
>[X] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?

>>36212568
>[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?

The only way to fso tce bleofwin fa tvuiin so we better get to it!

>>36212568
>[ ] [EXPLORE FORT] Clear it out because you're a paranoid basket case who's been traumatized by bullshit tombs guarded by bullshit undeads.

and then

>[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?

>>36212568
>[ ] [EXPLORE FORT] Clear it out because you're a paranoid basket case who's been traumatized by bullshit tombs guarded by bullshit undeads.
Maybe we'll strike Adamant!

>>36212568
>[MAKE FORT /BETTER!/ (TM)] may cause damage to surroundings and/or reality.

>>36212568
>[x] [EXPLORE FORT] Clear it out because you're a paranoid basket case who's been traumatized by bullshit tombs guarded by bullshit undeads.
Because fortresses WANT to be explored.

>>36212568
>[X] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?
>[X] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?

>>36212568
>[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?
Time to test our loot, but seriously fix up that shit fort

Good thing Ester want here to see Urist having a nightmare, that would have been dangerously cute.[\spoiler]

>>36212568
>[ ] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?

>>36212568
>[X] [EXPLORE FORT] Clear it out because you're a paranoid basket case who's been traumatized by bullshit tombs guarded by bullshit undeads.
Mmmm, Fort.
>[X] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?
Waited, bugged? Let's see what we can find out about that. After all, we'd prefer not to lose the materials when we take it apart.

>>36212568
>[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?

>>36212568
(For the curious, she's shouting "Kyuubeeeeee" and going sounding "gata gata" which is an onomatopoeia for a shaking sound)

>>36212568
>[ ] [DESTROY FORT **BUGGED**] Destroy the pillow fort. You can rebuild it, you have the means! You- wait, 'bugged'? What?

Stress relief.

>>36212568


[x] [DFHACK] Mess around with DFHack and Bug Tracker. Maybe you'll make some progress this time?

Time for some debugging.

So, when do we meet up with King of Dragon Pass?

>>36212931
... We need to do this. This needs to be a thing. We already know Civilization and Minecraft, makes sense we'd know King of Dragon Pass.

>>36212931
Sometime after we catch a lift from Oregon Trail

>>36213013
We could do that soon anyway, we need to visit Civilization in Playstation land, right?

>>36213053
We still got to visit Mojang in Leanbox.

>>36212568
>[X] [MESSAGES] Check your phone. Reaffirm your status as a zombie tied to technology.
>[X] [OTHER] FUCK SOBRIETY

>>36213053
There's also that concert job we can take over in Lastation (Playstation land) too

>>36213086
>>36213142
We can do both! They're likely close together due to being in the same generation, so we can travel through one to get to the other!

>>36212568
>[X] [DESTROY FORT] (BUGGED)
>[X] [EXPLORE FORT]
>[X] [DFHACK]

Right then, first things first: this fort is an eyesore. The pillows are crooked, the cushions acting as structural support are literally about to crumple under the weight of everything piled on top of it, and you don't see a single drawbridge or magma moat around it to keep the riffraff out and/or keep the riffraff screaming as their body fat ignites and melts in the most horrible way possible. So you rear back, cock your fist, and nearly have a heart attack as Bug Tracker goes off, beeping and shaking incessantly.

... half a minute later, you're sitting on the bed, poking at DFHack in mild amazement. For once, something terrible had just been averted, thanks to that new thing you picked up last dungeon run- Bug Tracker, the little mantis emblem that could. In this case, it stopped you from injuring yourself. Not FIGURATIVELY injuring yourself or your pride, but /literally/. Because for some absolutely stupid reason, the pillow fort counts as a constructed building, complete with walls and supports and everything. And it was clearly built by someone else. And since building material generally doesn't matter, as walls are literally indestructible...

Long story short, you would have broken your fist trying to punch out a Pillow Wall. With Bug Tracker guiding your actions in DFHack, you fix that shit immediately.

>Enabled tweak gamindustri-construction-rules

(Cont.)

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>>36213325
Right. That's better. You stand back up and are about to test your mettle against the laws of physics in general (and the pillow fort in particular) when it occurs to you to actually take a peek, so you get down on your hands and knees and take a look-see. Inside the fort, you see a shape curled up on top of a pillow; after a moment, you note the telltale shock of white hair and the tanned skin identifying the shape as Moru. You watch her for a few more moments, but she doesn't appear to be awake.

... huh. Well, you WERE wondering about the sleeping arrangements last night.

[ ] [DESTROY] the pillow fort, regardless. Sometimes, sacrifices have to be made in the name of !!SCIENCE!!.
[ ] [WAKE HER] If you're awake, Moru should probably be awake, too. 'Sides, you'd like to talk.
[ ] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.
[ ] [EXIT] No need to disturb her at all. You've got things to do! RESPONSIBLE things!
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36213359
>[X] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.

>>36213359
>[x] [WAKE HER] If you're awake, Moru should probably be awake, too. 'Sides, you'd like to talk.
YOUR FORTBUILDING A SHIT, CATGRILL.

>>36213359
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Take all the pillows away, but make it so they don't fall onto Moru.

Then make our own way better pillow fort.

>>36213359
>[ ] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.

>>36213359
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Let her sleep and fix up her fort for her, she doesn't even have engravings on the walls or a proper mine sublevel.

>>36213359
>[ ] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.
Fine, we can just play with our toy

>>36213438
Supporting this. WE MUST MAKE IT THE BEST PILLOW FORT!

>>36213359
Refit the building material to be Dolomite. Engrave pictures of sleeping cats everywhere.

>>36213438
This.

I wonder if we could build a pillow fort next to open lava.

>>36213503
Let's leave out the Fuck the World button though, I want to stay on White Heart and Ester's good sides.

>>36213359
>[X] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.

Let sleeping cats lie. Also, I want to see if we can set off a siege of dust bunnies against her Pillow Fortress.

>>36213359
>[ ] [DFHACK] Leave her be and tinker with your device a little more.

>>36213461
The image depicts the victory of the dwarf Urist Twelftbay over minotaur Earthshaker in Lowee. Earthshaker is gathering its teeth. Urist is laughing.

>>36213359
>>36213438
support.

>>36213438
. . .
Do you engrave pillows, or do you embroider them? Do we even support the Embroider skill?

>>36213654
.............. yes.

For the purposes of this situation, I will consider pillow embroidering to count towards Engraving.

>>36213654
I'm sure we can use one for the other, it'll be fine

>>36213654
When in doubt, burn a chair into coal and use that for temporary drawings. Then hack the drawings and make them somehow bullshit permanent.

>>36213699
I support engraving napping cats

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>>36213359
>[X] [WRITE-IN: REBUILD]
>[X] [DFHACK] afterwards!

You consider the sleeping catgirl for a few more moments. You actually envy Moru a little, seeing her resting so peacefully, her expression a picture of absolute calm. Seriously, if your fortress's cats actually /slept/ instead of catching vermin and popping out kittens like small furry clown cars, they'd be a lot more manageable.

You make a note for the future. Once you get a fortress, you're totally asking Moru to teach your cats how to sleep.

The cute sleeping catgirl does not erase the fact that this pillow fort is absolute fucking trash, so you immediately roll up your sleeves, [d]esignate like a dwarf possessed, and begin taking the damn thing apart bit by bit. Because if there's one thing you have confidence in, it's your ability to build under ANY circumstance.

>Urist Twelfthbay rebuilds a pillow fort without waking Moru...?
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 15

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36213795

>>36213795
>

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>36213795
rollin

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>36213795

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36213795
LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>36213795

>>36213795
>That Urist
I would cuddle the shit out of her. Holy fuck.

>>36213820
Well show Moru what a great city builder Urist is.

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>>36213795
>17

Fifteen minutes later, you stand back and admire your creation, basking in its perfection and its miniaturized glory.

The pillow fortress stands two stories (read: pillow-lengths) tall, and each individual fluffy building block is not a hair out of position, forming a perfectly symmetrical 5x3 fort with one block for the fortress gates (a one-pillow drawbridge currently in its down position). You took advantage of the natural terrain, using the outer pillow ramparts to form a perfect rectangle against the room's walls; the sheer cliff face means that invaders can only approach from the front, namely through the room's door. The fortress is completely sealed from the top, in the rare event of a flight-based megabeast attack or invaders riding flying mounts.

The inside of the pillow fortress is... well, it's /engraved/, but you're not that good of an engraver yet. Sadly. You did what you could to put down your most recent deeds, like that time you punched out the minotaur's teeth, and gut-punched the MOBAs, and punched out the cultist's teeth (after a little thought, you decided to skip the middleman and declare the Flying Teeth to be the fortress's emblem).

There are quite a few more pictures of sleeping cats, though. See, you didn't have a whole lot of room to maneuver INSIDE the pillow fort, and you were in grave danger of bumping into Moru and waking her up; in the end, you simply slid /under/ Moru, the only way that two entities can occupy the same space without any major issues. So yeah, sleeping cats were kind of on your mind, since you had one pressed up against you.

You're proud as punch of your fortress, though, and after fluffing the trade depot pillow next to the drawbridge pillow, you beam up at your creation like a kid admiring a Christmas tree (albeit one built by your own hands).

(Cont.)

>>36214345

... granted, you're a little bummed you couldn't actually make any subterranean levels or get an irrigation system going, and even more bummed that you couldn't actually dredge up magma from the carpet. Hell, this entire thing was like barely tickling an itch that desperately needs to be scratched. You've forgotten how much you miss fortress building.

Your grin fades. With a sigh, you squirm into the safety of your pillow fortress and curl up in the corner and pull out DFHack, Moru's quiet breathing keeping you company. Before, when you tried dicking around with DFHack, it was like floundering in a featureless ocean; with Bug Tracker active, it's like being provided a compass and a little rowboat to find your way with.

... well, you're not growing any LESS bug-ridden, so you dive into DFHack and give it a whirl.

>Urist Twelfthbay messes around with her own code!
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
No DC; higher leads to a more useful fix

>>36214345
Not I'm imagining an image of SmugUrist.jpg, and she is moe.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>36214410
NAT
1
INCOMING

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>36214410

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>36214410

>>36214441
Well, you got two ones alright.

>>36214410
>couldn't actually dredge up magma from the carpet.
What kind of shitty inn is this!? We should go complain to the manager, or White Heart!

>>36214345
My only regret is Ester not being able to see a happy smiling Urist

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>36214410
Let's go fishing.

>>36214410
>In the end, you simply slid /under/ Moru, the only way that two entities can occupy the same space
> without any major issues.
Considering that a dragon and a dwarf can take up the same space despite size differences, I always attributed this to the 'square' in DF being a rather abstract measurement.

Polite sage for off topic.

>>36214503
>fishing
are you fucking crazy!?

>>36214582
That's the point. Urist runs on DF rules, so an occupied space counts as a DF space for Urist.
See the whole "would have broken her hand punching a pillow wall" thing earlier.

>>36214410
>15!

It doesn't take you that long as you expect to wade through your code. Seriously, you were a little terrified that you'd have to go through it like a minefield, with one wrong misstep turning your leg into forgotten beast extract, but your insides are surprisingly orderly. Rather, it's /messy/, but there's a definite pattern to the chaos.

The Bug Tracker's doing most of the legwork, but you're learning a lot about yourself just by watching it go to work. Lines of text scroll by on the screen of DFHack, and the little mantis emblem runs through some sort of diagnostic, looking for problems to solve. It's almost anticlimactic when it comes across something and highlights it to your attention, and-

>Enabled tweak patrol-duty

You blink as a fog lifts from your mind- a fog you weren't even aware of- and squint at the text. "Long Patrol Negative Thoughts seem to escalate, even with long break"? Is THAT why you were so damn tired back there?

You're... you're actually /cheerful/. That quickly bumps up to /ecstatic/ once you slug down enough alcohol to clear your throat (you're wearing a white nightgown right now, but you wouldn't be a dwarf if you couldn't store a flask /anywhere/). Hell, you haven't even /cursed/ that much over the past few minutes. It's almost scary.

Maybe there's something to this whole professional adventuring thing, after all. Or does this count as self-help?

(Cont.)

>>36214503
DID YOU NOT HEED THE WARNING?!?!

>The Carp stands up.

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>>36215106
"Moru? Urist? Hey, are you awake yet? I brought breakfast!"

Ester's voice is slightly muffled, and it's quickly followed up by a light knock to the room's door. A quick glance at the catgirl reveals that she's STILL sleeping, so you wriggle forward and poke your head out of the pillow fortress's main gateway, brushing (okay, shoving) your braids out of the way as you consider your options.

[ ] [DOOR] Get the door, Urist!
[ ] [FORT] GET IN THE DAMN FORT, ESTER
[ ] [AMBUSH] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then jump her.
[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE
[ ] [CALL OUT] ... call out to Ester like a rational person.

>>36215159
>[X] [DOOR] Get the door, Urist!

>>36215159
>[x] [CALL OUT] ... call out to Ester like a rational person.

>>36215159
>[ ] [FORT] GET IN THE DAMN FORT, ESTER
Why wouldn't you be in the fort

>>36215159
>[x] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

This "normal person" thing sounds dangerous. Why stray from what we know?

>>36215159
>[x] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

We're not a rational person.

>>36215159
>[ ] [CALL OUT]
>[ ] [FORT]

>>36215159
>[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

>>36215159
>[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE
We've been expecting a new shipment of immigrants, she can lead the Militia.

>>36215159
>[ ] [DOOR] Get the door, Urist!

>>36215159
>[X] [CALL OUT] ... call out to Ester like a rational person.
>[X] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

Then Raise the Drawbridge.

>>36215159
>[ ] [CALL OUT] ... call out to Ester like a rational person.

>>36215159
>[X] [DOOR] Get the door, Urist!

>>36215159
>[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

>>36215159
>[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE
WE #OCCUPYPILLOWS NOW

>>36215159
>[x] [FORT] GET IN THE DAMN FORT, ESTER
There's keas around and they steal stuff!

>>36215226
Legendary Lucky, we got a mastersworddorf

>>36215159
>FORT
When she comes near
>ABDUCT

>>36215159
>[ ] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE
We should take this time to reinforce to Ester how, not balanced Urist is without a fort. Seriously, I expect her to go half cocked insane preparing for attacks from goblins and leering about suspiciously whenever the drawbridge is lowered.

>>36215505
I was thinking we abduct her to be cute.
because its funny, and lister sisterly, and we are in a good mood.

>>36215159
>[ ] [DOORABDUCT] Impatiently go answer the door, grab Ester and princess carry her and whatever foodstuffs she comes bearing into the FORT!

>Ester wants to know how we rebuilt the fort without waking moru
>Show her by going under her, occupying the same space as her simultanously
>Watch her freak out hilariously at the sensation

>>36215159
>[X] [ABDUCT] Stay silent, wait for Ester to come in, and then DRAG HER INSIDE

>>36215757
>going down on Ester
lewd

File: 1415564391684.gif (4.18 MB, 480x272)

4.18 MB GIF

>>36215159
>[X] [ABDUCT]

You narrow your eyes and wriggle back inside, stationing yourself just inside the pillow fort's gates, back behind the pillow drawbridge. Soon enough, the door opens, and-

>Some migrants have arrived.

- you hear Ester stepping into the room, her steps light and carefree. Then she pauses, and there's a low whistle of appreciation as she catches sight of your pillow fort and it does NOT cause you to giddily plaster your hands to your cheeks at her approval because shut up IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

"Urist? Moru?" the Dragon Warrior calls out quietly, sounding a bit more hesitant than before. A few more steps toward the window and plops something down onto the long windowsill- there's no table in this room, you make a mental note to build one using a spare pillow- before stepping closer.

Four squares away, three squares away.

"Nfufufu, nfufufu-" Armok preserve you, Ester's doing that dirty-old-man laugh again. She's totally preparing to sneak in and act like she woke up covered in little sisters, isn't she.

Two squares away, one square away.

Ester's legs appear in the gateway, clad in those weird... stockings? Kneesocks?

Right in front of the gate, she gets down to her hands and knees, peers in. And then there's a beautiful, beautiful moment where her green eyes are staring right into yours and her mischievous expression completely skips surprise and goes straight to /absolute horror/. Cackling gleefully, you grab her by the face and bodily drag her in kicking and shrieking and laughing into the maw of the beast, and the noise is enough to wake Moru, who screams in terror when the first thing she sees is flailing limbs in a claustrophobic chamber.

The fort then turns into an absolute clusterfuck as you do your best to corral two people who're desperately trying to escape, mostly by pinning them down underneath you; Ester laughs and plays along. Moru is absolutely terrified.

WELCOME TO THE FORT. ENJOY YOUR STAY.

(Cont.)

>>36216547

Once everything settles down enough that Ester can actually /breathe/ and Moru isn't about to cry out of sheer terror, the three of you see absolutely no reason to leave the pillow fort (except to nab the breakfast Ester had left on the windowsill).

"O-Okay," Moru sniffs, her tail lashing back and forth- evidently, she's still a little butthurt about waking up to anarchy. "But we'll leave a mess if we eat on the floor-"

Your conversion of the bed's pillows into a table and three chairs small enough to fit inside the fort shuts her up quickly enough. It's a tight fit in the fort, but it certainly beats having to dine on any non-bed pieces of furniture in the room- and it sure as hell is a party trick good enough to impress your friends.

"There's no doubt about it, Urist; you can't be anything BUT a legendary builder!" Ester gushes indulgently. She's a little worse for wear, her hair mussed up and her normally immaculate armor disheveled, but that doesn't stop her from breaking off pieces from one of the croissants and popping them into your mouth. You allow this with your dignity intact, because you /totally/ deserve it this morning. "No wonder you're so set on getting what you need for a fortress!"

"She's also completely insane," Moru mutters lazily, her eyes half-lidded. The pillow chair and table are ridiculously soft, and it's halfway to putting her right back to sleep. "I mean, with the whole teeth-punchin' thing-"

- doesn't happen EVERY day, you're quick to add. You wash down your meal with another pull from your flask before going on. Anyway- Ester went back to the Basilicom, right?

(Cont.)

>>36216562
"Yup!" The Dragon Warrior puts her finger and thumb together in the universal sign for a-okay. "We're in the clear. Not much we can do about the cultists without a point of reference, though, but Blanc at least knows to keep an eye out, now."

Moru shifts a little uncomfortably. Probably hasn't met the goddess before, you think.

"I also went to the Guild. Two quests, cleared under our names, with the payment split three ways-!" Ester pops out three small coin bags, tossing two to you and Moru. The catgirl catches it easily, while you fumble for a few moments before it goes onto your lap.

You don't have time to give Ester your thanks before she keeps right on going. "And guess what- I've signed us up for another job together!" she exclaims happily, puffing out her chest.

... aaaah. Well, uh. Huh. You... you kind of had a few OTHER plans. You think.

Next to you, Moru stiffens as well, frowning a little in consternation.

[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
[ ] [OKAY] Your obligations can wait. Running a dungeon with someone as strong as Ester with you is the fast track to getting stronger.
[ ] [DECLINE] You WERE thinking of heading out to Leanbox. Maia's (probably?) waiting for you, and you DID promise Mojang a visit...
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36216588
>[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
The job may take us to Leanbox for all we know

>>36216588
>[x] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?

Always demand the QM write more words check first before we say no.

>>36216588
>[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
If it isn't near Leanbox then:
>[ ] [DECLINE] You WERE thinking of heading out to Leanbox. Maia's (probably?) waiting for you, and you DID promise Mojang a visit...

>>36216588
>[x] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?

>>36216628
Seconding this one

>>36216588
>[x] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
Are there any carp involved?

>>36216588
>[X] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
>[X] [WRITE-IN] Does Moru want to come or not? Despite Ester's love of collecting little sisters, we're. . . Not exactly the sanest travelling companion (Though we are working on it!). She should totally get a say in those decisions before being foisted upon her.

>>36216562
>"She's also completely insane," Moru mutters lazily, her eyes half-lidded. The pillow chair and table are ridiculously soft, and it's halfway to putting her right back to sleep. "I mean, with the whole teeth-punchin' thing-"
Geez. AGAIN with the violence complaints? It was ONE TIME. Well, two times, but they were both on the same day, so. One time. Come on Moru no one likes a complainer.
>>36216588
>[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?

>>36216628
Yeah, pretty much this. Seconding.

>>36216588
>[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
Maybe we'll luck out

>>36216588
>[ ] [ASK] Might as well double-check first: what kind of job is it, and where? Is it going to be a milk run or a cross-country dungeon gauntlet?
>[ ] [DECLINE] You WERE thinking of heading out to Leanbox. Maia's (probably?) waiting for you, and you DID promise Mojang a visit...

>>36216628
This. We do have a people to see so if its quick and eay, we'll help out.

>>36216562
>"She's also completely insane," Moru mutters lazily, her eyes half-lidded. The pillow chair and table are ridiculously soft, and it's halfway to putting her right back to sleep. "I mean, with the whole teeth-punchin' thing-"

How long until the new fists/weapons get a rider of +2 teeth knocked out when applied directly to the face.

>>36216821
Can our new fists/weapons be made of the broken teeth of our fallen foes?

>>36216547
>spoiler
Will Urist ever stop being cute

>>36216588
>[X] [ASK!] but if it's not near Leanbox...
>[X] [DECLINE!]

... huh. Well, it's nice that she went through all the trouble, but, y'know. What kinda job ARE you all looking at here?

The Dragon Warrior picks up on your hesitation, and her grin fades a little; it fades even more when she glances over to the catgirl and apparently sees much the same thing there. "Ahahah- well, you know, it's not a big job," Ester replies, fidgeting a little in place. "It's just a bit further out from the capital than the snowfields, down underground! They just want us to gather some ore samples-"

You cut her off here, trying to sound apologetic (dwarves don't really DO apologetic, so you probably just come off as gruff or something). Sorry, Ester, but you really don't think you can. You promised Mojang that you'll visit her in Leanbox, and there's someone else you should probably meet...

Besides, you're fairly certain that Ester's strong enough to take on ANY dungeon in Gamindustri on her own, but you keep that thought to yourself.

"I dunno if I can, too," Moru chimes in, her ears at half-mast. There's something off about her- but then you realize that her customary wariness appears to be gone. "I got a friend comin' into Lowee later this week, and she... uh, she kinda needs help with a lot of things, nowadays."

"Oh..." You blink. Ester actually looks sort of- well, not /disappointed/, per se, but she's definitely down in the dumps a bit. For a brief moment, she doesn't seem so confident or experienced; just a wide-eyed girl who looks a little distraught. "I-I understand, but- are you sure you won't reconsider? I can't do it without either of you! I can't dig like you can!"

(Cont.)

>>36217299
... hng. You don't have the heart to tell Ester that maybe she should have asked first and THEN taken on this job after, but you murmur something about how you probably shouldn't put it off.

"It won't take that long. I promise-" The Dragon Warrior's green eyes light up again. "Ah, I know. I can even travel with you to Leanbox afterward, Urist! And I'll help you with your friend later, Moru!"

"I-I don't know if that's a good idea-" Moru stammers, taken aback. You really feel her pain on this count.

"Either way... please!" Ester claps her hands together, bowing her head a bit.

It's really not THAT bad a deal; it's a fair distance from Lowee to Leanbox, after all. On the other hand, ANYTHING can happen in a dungeon, even an easy one, and you don't want anything unexpected to hold you up.

[ ] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
[ ] [SORRY] There's a good chance you'll save more time by NOT doing the dungeon run, given all the shit that could happen: stronger bosses than you anticipated, sudden plot hook, etc etc. And the Lowee-Leanbox journey isn't known for being rigorous, you've run it quite a few times before.

[ ] [ESCORT] How about... Ester comes with you to Leanbox /now/, and you'll owe her a favor and/or dungeon run /later/, when you finish up there?
[ ] [MORU] Ask Moru about her friend. What kinda help does she even need, anyway?
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>36217334
>[ ] [WRITE-IN]
Is there a time limit on the quest?

>>36217334
>[ ] [FIIIIIINE]
>[ ] [MORU]

>>36217334
>[ ] [FIIIIIIIIIIINE] too cute to refuse
>[ ] [SPEEDRUN] gotta go fast!

>>36217334
>[ ] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
[ ] [MORU] Ask Moru about her friend. What kinda help does she even need, anyway?

Ester is cool, we should totally help her out and we'll get to show her off to our friends.

>>36217334
[x] [SORRY] There's a good chance you'll save more time by NOT doing the dungeon run, given all the shit that could happen: stronger bosses than you anticipated, sudden plot hook, etc etc. And the Lowee-Leanbox journey isn't known for being rigorous, you've run it quite a few times before.
This is urgent. Sorry but we have to do what's best for us.
Chin up, this should be easy for you.

>>36217334
>[x] [FIIIIIINE]
>[x] [MORU] Ask Moru about her friend. What kinda help does she even need, anyway?
>believing there's actually a friend and it's not Moru trying to get away from us

>>36217334
>] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
Ester stop being sad at me, it physically hurts me

>>36217334
>[ ] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
Ester has always been good to us

>>36217334
[X] [WRITE-IN] Is there a time limit on the quest?
If there is no time limit:
[X] [ESCORT] How about... Ester comes with you to Leanbox /now/, and you'll owe her a favor and/or dungeon run /later/, when you finish up there?
If there is a time limit:
[X] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.

>>36217334
>[ ] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
>[ ] [MORU] Ask Moru about her friend. What kinda help does she even need, anyway?

>>36217334
>[X] [FIIIIIINE] You'll help Ester on her dungeon run, and get her to travel with you to Leanbox in return. You won't lose that much time, and a treasure cube AND an armed escort across Gamindustri ain't that bad.
Also, another bit of loot could come in handy. What we have now is so useful!
>[X] [MORU] Ask Moru about her friend. What kinda help does she even need, anyway?
In an interested about her life sort of way, not a "Oh we might be able to help" way.

>>36217334
>[X] [FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE]
>[X] [MORU]

You drum your fingers against the pillow table (given the plushy material, it's not very loud). It's VERY hard to look at Ester, and even harder when she looks up at you, waiting for your answer.

... it's hideously unfair. Someone as ancient and powerful as Ester /really/ shouldn't be allowed to use goddamn puppy-dog eyes without even trying.

In the end, you sigh and shake your head, your braids thumping against your back with the motion. Ester's damn lucky that you're a no-good treasure-greedy dwarf, you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been suckered so easily.

Armok help you, there are /stars/ in her eyes now. "Then...?"

Of course you'll agree to it! But only on the condition that you don't spend a gazillion years stuck in the dungeon due to some unforeseen circumstance, alri- and that's as far as you get before Ester slips over to you like a /goddamn ninja/ and somehow sliiiides herself between the chair and your butt like she's been navigating narrow fortress halls her entire life.

You are now sitting on the Dragon Warrior's lap, she's basically buried beneath your braids and rubbing her cheek against the top of your head, and your OWN cheeks are burning red.

"Nfufufu, thank you, Urist! I knew you'd give in!" Ester chortles, sliding her arms underneath your braids to wrap them around your shoulders. "If you scratch Big Sis's back, Big Sis will scratch yours~."

Goddammit, that sounds like something a mob boss would say, not something the hero that Lowee deserves would say!

... but, well, you don't get much of an answer from Ester, so you turn to Moru. She's frowning, but not so much at either of you as she is at the table. So what's her story? If she doesn't mind you asking, that is.

(Cont.)

>>36217970
"Huh? Ah..." Moru shifts uncomfortably, her tail lashing back and forth. "I can't say. It's nothing, really, it's just... my friend's got some issues to sort out. She doesn't want it to get out there."

You tilt your head, half out of curiosity, half because you've been hanging around Ester too long, and the THIRD half is to try to dislodge said Dragon Warrior's cheek from your hair (it fails). You... well, alright, you wish Moru luck, but at least her friend's getting into adventuring in Lowee, right? That's a big step?

"More like she's coming /back/ to Lowee," Moru mutters, still frowning.

Ester perks up at this, and she finally looks up. "Oh? Is it anyone I know?"

"N-No! I mean, probably not. I mean..."

... jeez. Even YOU'RE starting to feel a little bad for Moru and her miserable-looking squirming, so you bump the back of your head into Ester's chin. Look, it's fine, she- Moru doesn't have to answer if it makes her uncomfortable, right? So she'll be sitting this out, then?

Moru flashes you a grateful look before realizing that she's giving YOU a grateful look and glancing away. At least her ears aren't flattened against her head anymore. "Yeah, I really can't come. So I'll... uh, I'll go sort things out with the innkeeper, then I hafta start getting ready. Sorry, Ester."

"It's fine, it's fine!" Ester disentangles an arm from your hair to wave languidly. "We'll definitely run again some other time. We make a pretty legendary party, right?"

(Cont.)

>>36217994
Moru snorts, but there's no heat behind it or her following words. "In more ways than one." The catgirl drops down to all fours and starts scampering out of the pillow fort- but pauses to glance back over her shoulder, hesitating. Eventually, she licks her lips and settles for the following- "An' YOU owe me a few runs, Urist. For the leatherworking. But you'd better bathe first, okay!?"

Fine! Fine, but just for /that/, you're going to squish her under your pillow drawbridge! Once you get a pillow lever working. But- wait, no, you'll need a pillow mechanic's shop first, so you'll have to disassemble the pillow mason's workshop that you used to make the furniture, and fffffffffffffffuckdammit, Moru's long gone when you look up again.

You huff a little to yourself, and make to squirm out of Ester's grasp when she buries her face in your hair again. "Thanks, Urist. Just... thanks," she murmurs, her voice muffled.

... after a moment's confusion, you awkwardly pat her arm. Totally welcome. Seriously, it's just a dungeon run, right? C'mon, what are friends for? Or... big sisters/little sisters or whatever dynamic you two have by now. Yeah.

Ester doesn't answer, but her hug tightens around your shoulders and she keeps her face buried in your hair. You continue patting her arm as best you can for a few minutes. It's not bad, sitting in someone's lap like this, and Ester is really a pretty cool person (and/or a really warm person), but at the same time...

You can't help but wonder if you'll ever figure her out.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

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>>36218014
IN WHICH THE PROTAGONIST AND HER FRIENDS SAT IN THE SAME ROOM FOR A SIX HOUR THREAD

... anyway, that's a good place to end the thread, mostly because I've been on the ropes for the past two hours, need sleep, fff tomorrow's a weekday, and so on!

Next thread will be on WEDNESDAY, 11/19 at 7 pm EST, and as usual, updates will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest.

Thanks for participating, you guys, and I hope you enjoyed it. If you've got any questions, suggestions, comments, etc etc, they can totally go in this thread (I'll try to answer them on Twitter if this thread archives before I get back to it tomorrow) or ask.fm/BlorpQuest! Hope to see you all next time.

>>36218063
Thanks for the thread, Blorp.

>>36218063
Thanks for the thread Blorp, Looking forward to the next.

>>36218063
We also made a fort and messed with a dwarfs inner workings

Fun thread Blorp, I'll see you Wednesday

>>36218063
>SAT IN THE SAME ROOM FOR A SIX HOUR THREAD
AND THE PLAYERS LIKED IT!

most of that was tinkering with our bugs, or making *Pillow Fortress*

See ya next thread Blorp.