...Paranoia?

>>36493203
That's... actually not a half bad idea.

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HEY DID SOMEONE SAY TUBES

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>>36493323
I believe there was a mention.

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>>36493323
Tubes has been said.

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>>36491869
This system works equally well for Space Pirates as it does for GF Marines.

>>36494901
Huh. I honestly did not know this was a thing.

>>36494901
Really wish they'd settled for a less annoying font, though.

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SCIENCE TEAM LOG 12.890.24

WE HAVE SUCCESSFULLY CLONED THE HUNTER, IN APPROXIMATION OF 17 TIMES

TO OUR CONTINUED FRUSTRATION THE CLONED HUNTERS STILL DO NOT SEEM TO HAVE ANY USEFUL INSIGHTS ON THE NATURE OF MORPH BALL TECHNOLOGY

UNFORTUNATELY THE CLONED HUNTERS HAVE BECOME IRATE TO THE POINT OF EXTREME VIOLENCE

LACKING ANY OTHER OUTLET WE HAVE DEEMED IT BEST TO ARM THEM HEAVILY AND ALLOW THEM SKIRMISH TIME WITH LOCAL WILDLIFE, ALONG WITH A MODIFIED SERIES OF SMALL EXPLORATION TUNNELS IN THE HOPES OF PROMPTING THEM TO RECALL MORPH BALL TECHNOLOGY BASICS

>>36495566
Great, now I'm just imagining a pack of feral, semi-retarded Samus clones running naked through the woods. armed with laser cannons.

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>>36495598
>half-feral filthy long-haired crazed looking Samus clones all screaming in broken Pirate with jury-rigged armor and guns and a bizarre affinity for small dark places

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>>36495566
>WE HAVE DEEMED IT BEST TO ARM THEM HEAVILY

I fucking love Space Pirates.

>>36495731
>The pack of Samuses mostly communicate through snarls sometimes try to run on all fours, but they seem to remember how to fire guns somehow.

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>>36495851
>snarls
>not chirps and chitters in recollection of their half-Chozo nature and learned Pirate language
>implying they don't scuttle and crawl and perch
>not knowing how to use guns when Science Team specifically taught them how for reasons not even God wants to know
>not seeing their eyes light up and start to frantically chitter-chirp to one another in excitement the first time one of them is shown how to fire a pirate plasma cannon at some defenseless ecotoon

>>36495912
And then they all tear into side-hopper for dinner. Truly, the Space Pirates have succeeded perfectly in duplicating the dreaded Hunter.

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>>36495973
It was an utter and abject FAILURE. Funding is going to be heavily docked. 17 clones. 17! And not a single one with no amount of drugs, enticement, brain scans, or PSI massages can give up even a single inkling of morph ball tech.

Nothing but feathers and bird screams in those noggins. Oh well. They're good for pest control, and the stationed infantry does have fun watching them beat up the wildlife.

>>36495912
>Some of them start developing Metroid-like features
>Teeth start draining energy
>Skin starts going transparent
>One Samus develops further and becomes Queen of the clones
>This answers precisely zero questions about Metroid biology
>Space Pirates try to recapture the new Queen
>Their skin is now too tough for Pirate weapons
>Some of the others are manifesting psychic powers a la Chozo
>Telepathically communicationg
>Space Pirate try cold containment
>Samuses are getting too smart and break out
>Now 17 feral psychic birdjellyfish people with plasma cannons are running rampant all over the base
>Still no answers about the morph ball

>>36496015
>>36496264
Still, a whole lot more successful than most Space Pirate experiments. Less casualties, too.

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>>36495566
>>36496015
Hunter Clone Handling Protocols, 12.891.54

Hunter clones are not pets.
Hunter clones are not for target practice.
Finally, unauthorized feeding of Hunter clones is still strictly prohibited.

>>36496287

>Only 50% of base personal killed this time, a new record!

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>>36496297
Oh Space Pirates. I'll never grow tired of your shenanigans.

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>>36496264
>implying that some of them don't develop different radical mutations
>a few 'normals'
>some metroid types
>a few mutant harpy chozo types
>one or two radically weird ones
>one metroid queen
>one pirate one who got modified with pirate genes to try to jar some info loose
>radiant Samus who shits rainbow lasers uncontrollably
>a few Phazon-puking ones who become writhing masses of primal Samus
>and that single seemingly stable and weirdly quiet and pleasant Samus who just wants to eat rations all day and hide in a dark hole

>the entire planet is cut off by a cosmic storm from any FTL travel or communications
>the planet is CRAWLING with local wildlife
>the Pirates were redirected 18,000% of the necessary munitions and weapon supplies for the base due to a supplier math error
>STILL NO GOD DAMN MORPH BALL ADVANCEMENTS

>>36496287
>>36496297
>>36496316
>implying the chaos hasn't only just begun

>>36496353
>A whole fucking ecosystem of Samus Aran

Just imagine the original Samus reaction to finding this planet.

>>36496436
>Thats it. Tomorrow I'm going back to terra finishing my degree and getting a real job.

>>36496454
>After nuking this planet. Twice.

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>>36496436

Same as normal, I guess.

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>>36496436
I'd like to imagine she never gets involved. We just cut to Samus periodically, doing utterly mundane things. Shopping for dinner. Out having drinks with someone. Attending an intergalactic charity fund., Checking up on an orphanage she funded. Washing her ship.

Meanwhile the actual 'stars' are some Pirates and/or Marines unlucky enough to land there, maybe along with a feral Samus or two. Utter fucking PANDEMONIUM.

Cut to Samus feeding a bird and doing her space taxes over coffee.

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>>36496498
...fuck, I want to play this now.

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>>36496566
>Not being broken up over Wii Fit Trainer
>But implying Falcon is as god damn gay as we all know he is, the handsome piece of shit

I'm torn.

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>>36496592
Falcon isn't gay, he's just friend-zoned.

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>>36496605

>>36496605
>implying Captain fucking FALCON has eyes for ANYTHING but the race track and his absurdly muscular manly rivals

We all know where his heart lies, anon.

In the cockpit.

>>36496605
what's the joke there?

>>36496636
Samus is not in a bikini like Pit hoped.

She's in something far more attractive.

>>36496636

That isn't a beach ball, friend.

>>36496636
Apparently, for Samus, "something more comfortable" means "a sphere."

>>36496592
If anything, Wii Fit Trainer gets the rebound action.

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>>36496656

>>36496656
>the more 'normal' Feral Samus' (Samii?) all seem to lie down and curl up very tightly like a ball when they feel safe and comfortable
>This is what prompted the Pirates to MAKE 17 highly dangerous and unstable clones to begin with

>>36496636
they wanted to see her in a swimsuit

she was a ball

>>36496651
Now I see it... damn, you gotta admire the girl's agility!

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>>36496746
In the Prime series, it just seems like Samus turns into energy (easily seen if you look at the morph ball from the side) rather than actually crawling into fetal position. I like both interpretations, though.

>>36496809
The ball's generally depicted as being a little too small for her to have curled up into anyway. She could probably shrink to fit using Space Bird Magic, but at that point why not just go for the full pokeball solution?

>>36496529
>Samus has a cat in her ship
Somehow I expected something like a random bug from one of the planets that just skitters around. Or a parrot or something.

>>36496809
I had always assumed it was both. That she assumes a fetal state but is in a state of energy that makes it possible, allowing her to feel like she's just freely floating and resting as she commands the sphere along. Also with the assumption it's a very 'safe' and comfortable feeling state.

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>>36496834
Also, if she's really that agile in the varia suit, she might as well just crawl.

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SPACE PIRATE LOG 12.890.30

90% OF THE PLANET'S LOCAL FAUNA HAS BEEN RENDERED EXTINCT

THERE ARE NO FEWER THAN 239 CLONES OF THE HUNTER ROAMING HQ

THEY SEEM TO BE REPRODUCING BY UNKNOWN MEANS

THE FEW MEMBERS OF SCIENCE TEAM THAT REMAIN HAVE SEALED THEMSELVES BEHIND A DOOR ACCESSIBLE ONLY BY MORPH BALL TECHNOLOGY

WE HAVE YET TO MAKE ANY SIGNIFICANT BREAKTHROUGHS ON THIS FRONT

>>36496862
>fight pirates all day
>own a parrot

I know they're future bug pirates, but still.

>>36496866
In Prime it's both: as the camera changes to third person view, we clearly see Samus hunch over, as if curling up int a ball. It's a fast animation though.

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>>36496862
She probably still has the Eticoons and Dachoras.

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Literally nothing can go wrong with this idea

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>>36496877
>THEY SEEM TO BE REPRODUCING BY UNKNOWN MEANS

My terror is palpable. And yet.

>>36496877
Man, I wish that Dwarf Fortress mod /tg/ was talking about so many years ago had ever gotten made.

>>36496907
>Nurse-kun and Ampu-tan

Man, this brings back memories. Whatever happened to them?

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>>36496877
Is this...a real mod?
I have a great want

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>>36496916
SPACE PIRATE SCIENCE IS THE BEST!

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>>36496925
>>36496948
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=84130.0

Never tried it myself, but it exists.

>>36496948
/tg/ were talking about making this a real mod, and we had a few threads about it, but then everyone just got distracted and forgot about it. As usual.

>>36496939
They are in a better place now. Out of the 4chan.
Not sure if the story turned into adoptive parenthood or most forbidden love.

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>>36496877
>we now join 3 Federation Marines, 6 Science Team Pirates, 2 Pirate Elite Commandos, one sassy Geemer, one 'normal' airhead Samus clone and one heavily-armed harpy Samus clone during the War of Kendell-7

*screams, gunfire, explosions, sounds of zoomers hitting soil*

>AND NOW WE JOIN SAMUS

*Samus decides whether to order takeout and watch a movie or go to the local pub and chat up that one waitress, dismisses weird itch in back of neck as nerves*

>>36497000
Part of me knows the whole thing was most likely just made up.

But part of me wants to believe. Because it was a sweet story.

Well, apart from the sexualized suppository.

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>>36497010

>>36497056
Wait what

What are we discussing exactly

Why is Samus getting a sexual suppository

I mean God knows WHAT that fucking nurse did the month she was comatose and being fucked full of phazon, but still

>>36497085
I'm not talking about Samus, I'm talking about Ampu-tan. It's a /b/ thing from waaaay back when /b/ was only mostly shit, but still had some rare glimmers of gold in the garbage.
>>36496907 was drawn as fanart of her and her caretaker, Nurse-kun.

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>>36497075
>in these trying times, everyone is inducted into being a member of Science Team
>even the Marines
>they insist all logs and communications be centralized as from Science Team

>>36497085
>What are we discussing exactly
https://encyclopediadramatica.se/index.php?title=Nurse-kun

>>36497127
I'm just going to ignore that and instead pretend the nurse caring for Samus was a fucking creep who talked to her and did weird things to her in her coma.

>>36495200
The anon who made it linked it for the first time in the past month, so it's still a very recent thing if that helps.

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>>36497010
>one sassy Geemer
...how does this work, exactly?

>>36497127
Aw, it had a good end.

>>36497177
Its a geemer, that's sassy, because of TUBES.

>and then the rippers attacked

>>36497177
Ask the pirates, marines, and Samus clones. They'll tell you it's EXTRA fucking sassy.

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>>36497196
You know, I'll buy that.

>>36497203
>The geemer has been following them for days
>Whenever it says things it zooms about wiggling its spines
>It is especially active whenever airhead clone talks
>Rocks itself when being extra sassy

>>36497265
>everyone agrees that at LEAST it's not a metroid and it has screamed a few times in warning when a hostile Samus clone has been lurking about
>but holy shit is it ever sassy

>>36491869
well, my friends and I have been doing that exact campaign in Inspectors: InSpace! and it's working pretty well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/InSpectres
http://www.lamemage.com/releases/1110-inspace/InSpace.pdf

Be forewarned, the system can get silly and weird if your players are the silly and weird type. That is, the system's tone is almost entirely decided by those playing.

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>>36497265
>It's "voice" is just chirps and screeches
>Everyone else can still attest that it's totally sassy, though.

>>36497292
>one of the marines calls the head pirate elite solider 'Blackbeard' just to be sassy herself
>but nowhere NEAR as sassy as that fucking geemer

>>36497310
>The Space Pirates don't get it, since they don't have facial hair. Nor any hair, for that matter. They still use the name, though.

>>36497010
What brings such a motley team together?

>>36497287
Keep in mind, geemers are supposedly filthy vermin that carry flesh-eating bacteria across the galaxy. But hey, the little guy has charisma, so they still love having him around.

>>36497330
Well, this particular one found a bottle of glue...

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>>36497338
Also my last one because 2big

>>36497345
Survival. The alternative is getting torn apart by Samuses.

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>>36497345
Did you not read the thread? They're under attack by a small army of deranged, deformed, and variously mutated Samus clones!

>>36497368
Yes but how did they meet up? Why are the marines there to begin with?

>>36497368
That are about to replace the planet's ecosystem, due to rampant mutation and asexual reproduction (they just split into more samuses).

>>36497376
Because they responded to the Science Team distress call from Kendell-7, before the cosmic storm hit and stranded them on the planet, preventing further comms and travel until it safely passes.

>>36497376
The Space Pirates are fucking up a whole planet, that should warrant inspection.

>>36497385
>They have to hold out long enough to call in The Hunter
>After the whole thing is over they form a band

>>36497422
>Samus isn't answering the calls, she has to do her laundry first.

Guys they got in the phazon, on the brightside I think they're doing the morphball thing.... oh wait they're just melting, beside that one that turned invisible. Did you guys see th.....................

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>>36497394
Look. The planet was FINE. They were Science Team rejects dumped there to make themselves useful with the local rich flora and fauna and maybe have a breakthrough, along with a handful of disgraced and politically unwanted Pirate elite soldiers.

Yes, they cloned the Hunter. Yes, that is a truly massive breakthrough. No, they don't CARE about that! They wanted morph ball tech to get back into good graces!

Now there's all these fucking Samuses and no evac.

THERE'S NEVER AN EVAC

>>36497422
They never get a chance. She's on vacation. They're gonna have to ace this on their own.

>>36497433
Why is that one Ridley now?

>>36497422
With sassy geemer as vocalist.

>>36497440
>There's never any evac
But is there A SEWER LEVEL?

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>>36497449
She's not actually Ridley. She's just disgustingly mutated because she injected herself with Ridley genetics and augmented herself with cybernetics after watching footage and learning about how he murdered her 'parents' and then deciding it'd be best to emulate her supposed killer.

Look, it's complicated. Just start charging up the rail gun, for fuck's sake, she's coming in for another pass!

>>36497440
>THERE'S NEVER AN EVAC

That's why we built all these tubes all over the base. If you had done your jobs and retroengineered the morph ball, you could easily escape through them.
So get back to work!

>>36497451
Their band's name is The Hunted
They're currently doing a tour of space pirate bases with their new hit single 'Tons of Tubes'.

>>36497458
The sewer is a safe haven for them, full of medical gear, clean food and water, But the only entrance is a TUBE the size of a morphball, the marines insist that they can just crawl through but the science team insists its impossible without the morphball, the geemer is too sassy to help them, and as such the entire team is forced to roam around the surface.

>>36497596
>air-head perpetually high Samus clone can easily curl up and get through but never does because nobody ever asks her until the near-end of the scenario when she just happens to go in there since it looked quiet and nice and everyone flips their fucking burgers into the street

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Weavel here to save the day bitches!

FUCKING WHAT, YOU DID FUCKING WHAT?

MY GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!

OH GODS THEY'RE EATING MY ASS TURRET.

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>>36497726
>Weavel being dragged down and drowned under a screaming horde of various glowing-eyed grinning bloodied mutant Samuses as the survivors watch on in horror

>>36497796
It's alright, It's how he wanted to go.

>>36497864
He doesn't die, mind you. Mortally wounded, but he doesn't get to die. He just gets half his shit stolen by screaming harpy Samuses while the other half beat him up and steal his blood for more genemods.

In the end after escape is secured they find him bound and being cooed over by one barely-sapient insectoid Samus.

The funny part is that his arrival is hailed like their ultimate saving, only for him to be torn down and dragged away.

Aliens: Samus Jumpscare Marines

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>>36498083
>pass by vent
>harpy talons dart down to grab into your shoulders and try to drag you into the nice dark morph-ball friendly space
>a half-jelly giggling monstrosity of a metroid Samus shambles down the hall in the dark at the same time, glowing with the need to feed
>ANOTHER Samus that's mostly melted radioactive death forces a hand through a grate to grab your leg
>spaced out Samus clone asking why you're screaming over the headcoms

>limited supply of cryo-throwers used to ward off direct attacks
>they're the only thing that seems to drive off the clones other than an absolutely extreme amount of firepower

>>36491869
>So anon, tell us about your character! You said her name was Samus right and that she is a bounty hunter right? Sounds cool.

Well she is part Chozo, which are an ancient and technically advanced race who died out. They gave her technology and a nice suit and stuff before that though. Also she is part metroid, a race which mutates when exposed to energy and are super tough and she was exposed to phazon, a super deadly energy source which mutates people but shes okay and still looks like a really hot blond in her suit. Also she can turn into a ball. And she killed all sorts of pirates and blows up planets too!
She really is mary sue isn't she?

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>>36498307
Hey, hey. Samus EARNED those fucking scars. She went through shit after shit after shit to get burned with a bunch of gross templates that left her a mutant mass of horror. She had her campaigns and spent her points like any honest player.

>>36498344
Oh I know, its just funny out of context.

>>36498344
One shudders to think what she spends on gene therapy in a year to keep herself looking human. Or since the metroid infusion, sweaters.

>>36498307
No, she's a protagonist. They've very similar, but not quite the same.

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>>36498436
>fine in the suit
>out of suit always seems to feel just a LITTLE too cold now
>always has some really fluffy big heavy sweater on save on volcanic or tropical planets

Samus of Zebes, you have a great cold in your heart. Welcome to the Turtleneck Sweater Corps.

What if

guys

what if

listen

what if the whole party

seriously guys

what if the whole party was Samus?

They all start with the same stats and then choose a couple of mutations/perks/whatever. And then SCIENCE!

>>36498436

She absorbed the Samus X parasite clone, her DNA has been reset as of Fusion.

God, so few people pay any fucking attention.

>>36498463
That's dumb.

Your dumb.

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>>36498452
Sometimes even the Varia isn't enough.

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>>36498463
THE ENEMY IS SAMUS

THE PARTY IS DESPERATE MARINES AND PIRATES AND SOME SAMUS CLONES AND A SASSY GEEMER

THEY ARE...

*SCIENCE TEAM*

>>36498480
What about my dumb?

And why? Seriously wondering; not trolling even if it does sound like it lol

I mean, instead of everyone being various classes of human, they'd just be different "classes" (clones) of Samus.

>>36498467
Like hell it's been reset. I bet you think Other M was canon, too.

>>36498499
If we are all samus, how can we TUUUUBES?

>>36498505

>HURR DURR I DONT LIEK FUSION THEREFORE IT NEVER HAPPENED

You are the worst kind of person.

>>36498467
See, I played Fusion, and I remember her absorbing Samus X. What I don't get is how absorbing her freaky space parasite doppelganger (my but she does accumulate those) with her new space vampire genes somehow resets her to some kind of genetic save state. Did they ever specifically say that she'd been reset in-game?

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>>36498463
What, some kind of "Everyone is John." but with Samus?

>>36498543
I love Fusion. It was literally Alien Resurrection: Samus. Nothing in it ever said Samus was 'reset' and lost her Metroid genetics.

>>36498533
Maybe Phazon Gooball Samus can ooze through TUUUBES? That could be a perk, I guess?

>>36498548
Not exactly what I meant... but maybe not a bad idea, either. Maybe each part of her hideously haphazard DNA is trying to get her to do wildly different things?

>>36498582
No, you don't understand. It's not about interacting with tubes, all samuses can do that. It's the love, the obsession, the uselessness. I gotta be a space pirate man.

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>>36498547
It wasn't in game. It was in an FAQ with Sakamoto that was released alongside Zero Mission but never got outside Japan.

A lot of things really shouldn't leave Japan.

>>36498561

Nigger, when she absorbed the SAX it neutralized the Metroid DNA, Thats how she was able to use the Ice beam to defeat the Omega Metroid.

Her vulnerabilty to cold is why she couldn't use Ice weapons until them.

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>>36498548
>WE SHOULD BLOW UP THIS PLANET
>bird seed bird seed bird seed
>Wait no let's go hunt some bounties!
>BLOW UP. THE PLANET.
>bird seed delicious bird seed
>I think funding another orphanage is a better use of our time.
>crunchy crunchy bird seed must eat bird seed
>What the Hell is wrong with you? Bounties is where we make the dosh, we can do bounties if we blow up this planet.
>BLOW IT UP, SELL THE REMAINS.
>sell the remains for bird seed soft sweet bird seed
>What about the ooooorrrphaaaaaannns?
>MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD
>on sale on sale what's on sale?
>it's bird seed

>>36498606
Ohm that makes sense.

>>36498606
Neutralized? Bitch, it gave her the ice beam powers which allowed her to use it and also be immune to it. She is Metroid PLUS now, stupidass. Metroid + ICE.

>>36498636
And NOW they sound like the various Personality Cores from Portal 2.

>Where we going?
>Space.

>>36498595
>Sakamoto

Disregarded and ignored. Thanks.

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>>36498649

Are you fucking serious?

>>36498675
Yes? Nothing in the game stated that wasn't the case. Why the hell would she STOP being part-Metroid after eating an Ice Beam SA-X?

>>36498698
Occam's Razor

It's more sensible that she would lose the factor that inhibited ice use rather than gaining more immunity.

>>36498718
That's not Occam's Razor. It still makes no sense. She absorbed her strongest suit and the Ice Beam which granted her the power to use the beam and a suit that kept her safe from it, and then nuked the Omega and became Queen Fuckbitch Metroid Overlord.

>>36498606
That makes no sense. The metroid DNA that lets her snack on Xes like energy bars gets overwhelmed and eliminated by a not-particularly-large X that just happened to look like her? Even if that did happen, now she's got the X infection again, but without her souped-up immune system. Which means, guess what, goodbye Samus. She'd be dead before that omega metroid got anywhere near her.

>>36498595
Someone should introduce Sakomoto and George Lucas. I feel that they would have much to talk about.

I want art of Samus looking grumpy in a fluffy sweater. Or classy in one. Or both.

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>>36498698
>>36498718
Alternative hypothesis: She absorbed the Varia suit into her DNA twice.

>>36498728
Yeah it;s 1am razor

Still i figure the reduction makes just as much sense and is a bit closer to a good end.

>>36498744
That's also a good point.

>>36498698

Because their DNA is incompatible which is why metroid DNA was used in the vaccine.
It stands to reason that a parasitic clone of herself would neutralize the changes made to her by the metroid cells as the SAX was based on her unaltered genetic template that the parasite had originally encountered and infected.

>>36498748
This just doubles the theory. All she did was absorb the Ice Beam power she needed. She was ALREADY immune to Ice-X and extreme temps, what she wanted was the Metroid-killer beam from the final X.

>>36491869
Mongoose Traveller

>>36498728
The other reason it makes sense to lose the metroid is that she gets the Varia suit back. The rest of her Fusion suits were all... fusion-y... but the last suit looked just like her normal suit.

>>36498756
...she needed Metroid DNA to even absorb and survive the X. Why would eating one 'neutralize' it? Why not just allow her to become the ultimate Hunter with the Metroid DNA and eat the doppelganger?

>>36498773
It wasn't. It was her Fusion suit, just in her classic colors.

>>36498755
>Still i figure the reduction makes just as much sense and is a bit closer to a good end.

I mean, Samus can have Metroid DNA and be fine. That's still a good end, and it's even poetic. It's a parallel again to Alien and also makes her that which she hunted to extinction, her life saved by the baby twice and bonded with it, and she's also bonded with the very creature her own parent species created to save the galaxy.

>>36498773
It actually didn't. She never got the shoulder things (which you can see on the SA-X's in-game sprite but never on Samus), and if you look at one of the Eng Mission screens it shows her in an orange fusion suit.

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>>36498823
Also in Metroid Prime itself, it's the Fusion suit with the Varia colors. But yeah her end game mission screen shows her with it.

We need to face facts. Samus is forever a member of the Turtleneck Sweater Club. We just have to live with it.

>>36498854

But Prime takes place before Fusion.

>>36498867
But if you plug in a GBA with fusion in it then you can use the Fusion suit, lots of people believe this means its post fusion, which is the dumb.

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>>36498867
...it was a tie-in bonus. Not literal. In Prime, if you own Fusion, you can hook the games up and have the Fusion suit as a skin in Prime. When you gain the Phazon suit, you get the Varia colors on your Fusion suit. For fuck's sake, anon.

>>36498886
>>36498879

I honestly had no Idea that was a thing.
I know what I'm doing next time I do a play through.

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>horde of feral Samuses
>a ceasefire happens at one point only because Science Team manages to secure a crate of sweaters for them to raid and distribute

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>>36498915
>Nullifying their only weakness

VAPOR FOR BRAINS

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>>36498985
Look. It was the only choice they had. Honorary Science Team Member Federation Marine Human Codenamed 'Sally' suggested that since there was 87 known cold-vulnerable clones, and it was going to be cold for the next two days, and there was only 50 extra-soft sweaters in the crate, that the resulting war for control of the sweaters might whittle their numbers down and buy they at LEAST a day of safe time to do recon and scavenge for supplies.

Well, 48 sweaters. Honorary Science Team Member Hunter Clone X-77837 #16 Codenamed 'Sammy' and Honorary Science Team Member Hunter Clone X-76437 #3 Codenamed 'Samuel' both claimed one for themselves.

Sammy wanted four of them, but was denied permission with the diplomatic persuasion of Honorary Science Team Member Federation Marine Human Codenamed 'Torrence'.

Science Team makes sacrifices to stride ever forward. DESPITE allegations of gaseous substance for gray matter.

>>36496834
I thought it was a full poke'ball solution? It's the 'meditation morph ball', because it turns her into energy, freeing her from fleshiness and allowing her to focus her thoughts.

>>36499074
That's just what she says. She doesn't care about being free from flesh. She just loves being a sphere and able to sneak and hide in little dark passages, the fucking birdbrain.

>>36499106
You ever think Samus giggles to herself just a little when she wreaks havoc in a pirate base, then rolls into a ball and sneaks off through an air vent? I know I would.

>>36499137
It's like the wive's tale about the ostrich with its head in the ground. She feels safe and IMMORTAL when she's hiding in some vent in her little sneaky morph ball mode.

>>36497796

I'd love a game like Alien: Isolation, except replace the Alien with Samus.

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>>36499171
>you're some woman at a gala event to celebrate something important and Metroid related
>well SHIT the Federation tried to clone Samus but the Metroid genetics went wild and they broke out during the gala
>now insane half-metroid Samuses shamble down the corridors looking for people to feed on
>the last thing your lady sees half the time is some gross mutant transparent Samus with monster jaws laughing as she freakwalks down a hallway to embrace you and start draining

>>36499171
But under desks or beds are the best places to hide, but with Samus just rolling around that wouldn't be an option.

>>36499245
Obviously, rolling would only be a thing that happens later in the game to get you. At first, vents and beds SEEM safe.

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>>36499245
Truly, the Morph Ball is the greatest ability ever conceived.

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>Zero Suit with Samus wearing a sweater over it and still looking sort of grumpy and chilly

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Did someone say sweater?

>>36501063
Got any more?

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>>36501085
Some. A few get a bit too lewd, though.

>>36501104
Just slap a spoiler on it, it's fiiiine.

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>>36501126
It literally isn't, posting NSFW pics with spoilers is a good way to get your ass banned. Also a dick move.

>>36501126
Or cross-link to e. They got sweater girl threads up most of the time last I checked.

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>>36501141
Meh, I don't have enough for a whole thread, and I don't feel like doing a new thread at the moment. Just gonna post some more Samus for now.

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Nobody ping pongs like Falcon.

>>36501140
No, it's not a dick move, you unbelievable jackass. It's polite.

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>>36501227
>DO NOT USE SPOILERS TO HIDE PORN OR ANY NWS CONTENT.

See.
Or I could just not post anything at all, if that's better with you.

>>36501250
you could post a link to something that has NSFW stuff?

>>36501250
If you're going to be such a shithead? Yeah, fuck right the hell off. It's not a dick move, cocksucker.

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>>36501302
Just search for you own porn, it's not hard. I am not your Google.

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>>36501311
I can no longer tell if you're being ironic or just genuinely rude.

>>36501311
If you are directly violating the board rules which have been clearly stated then it is kinda dick move.

But it is kinda self correcting since it is most likely to cause you getting banned.

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Gonna post some varia suits now just to spite >>36501311.

>>36501311
As an outside party... yeah it is. If I'm at work and I open a spoilered link, I do not expect tits and shit. It's bad enough if someone sees me on here, nevermind if they think I was browsing porn at work.

>>36498344
Wiifit trainer is eight foot two?

>>36501211
Why isn't Samus wearing panties? She's a bounty hunter, not a commando

>>36502787
Samus is 6'2~4"
Except in new Smash, she's the same height as the other two. In Portal heels.

>>36503064

Which is annoying in some respects, but good for hitboxes in others.

Okay, to get back on Space Pirate SCIENCE, what would you guys give insane doses of Phazon to see what happened?

>>36504569
Everything?

>>36504569
Well, they've already injected rocks, metroids and themselves with it. So... one of those cute animals from Super Metroid?

>>36504569
X-Parasite
Double points if I inject the SA-X

>>36504569
I would start with a croissant bug, see if I could get a giant speedy beast to ride and mount ridiculous amounts of cannons and explosives to.

>>36504569

What if I injected it into yet more Phazon?

For double Phazon?

>>36504823
Try to make it immune to ice weapons.
Stop the Hunter forever, by making her unable to make platforms.

>>36504569
Inject it into the Chozo ghosts. Sure they don't have corporeal bodies, but surely SCIENCE! will prevail.

>>36504882
I suspect that you would get a promotion. Maybe become Chief Scientist if you managed to use your double phazon on tubes.

>>36505114

...I was thinking of using it on another sample of Double Phazon. Thus creating Quad-Phazon.

Then Octo-Phazon.

I figure I'd stop somewhere around Mega or Kilophazon when I accidentially drop some on the floor. and it melts through to the core of the planet turning it into a sentient Phazon Planet that eats other planets and spits giant Phazon Asteroids at things it does like.

>>36505149

doesn't like even. In fact it just spits Phazon Asteroids everywhere and at everything.

Has anyone gotten to try that one guy's new game yet, by the way? I have yet to find a group interested in learning such a system-or time among the issues of November to find those who would.

>>36506205
Who's what?

>>36508604
The Metroid RPG that was posted earlier. >>36494901

>>36496495
>Same as normal, I guess.
Private citizens having access to nova bombs seems like a very bad idea.

>>36501536
>Bwhaaa, I'm a stupid bitch stupid enough to browse fucking 4chan at work

You deserve every single thing you get.

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>>36508869
Samus isn't exactly an ordinary citizen, not that she really needs a nova bomb to destroy a planet.

>>36504569
The Hunter clones.