RIP Mori-Sensei. At least he got to have sex with a robot loli before he died.

>>36504750

>>36504756
He lives on through SH-3MP
and Yumi's eye

>>36504781
>>36504750
WAIT
THE SELF-DESTRUCT TIMER

>>36504804
Don't worry. We'll just grab ballbot and bail.

I heard there was drawfaggotry for this.
Where can I find it?

>>36504834
Archive.

No smut yet

>>36504841
Not good smut, at least.
>>36504834
There's drawfaggotry, you can find it on the character spreadsheet

>>36504834
Direct link to gallery is here if you don't want to go via the spreadsheet: https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0B2Qypb3FIXuMSjJ5MVdWaTdOTWs&usp=sharing

>>36504750
You hear something behind you that's not fire or rubble settling, but is instead a choked rasping.

"itwor-" says Daddy. You immediately dash to his side, more ray gun blasts veering off of their course as soon as they come within a foot's distance of your wings.

"Ssshhh, don't try to talk!" you say, hoping that something can be done to heal the man's wounds.

"it workkkd" he says, gesturing to your wings with a finger, and you see a disk pulse as a ray gun blast comes into its area, deflecting it.

Scrambling for a solution to this dilemma, you think of something, and say to him, "I can try healing you, maybe turn you into an angel like me!"

He shakes his head, and whispers, "time to leave."

He brings his hand up to brush your cheek, and you realize that you're crying. "N-nnnooooo, I can't lose you, you've been so nice to me!" you cry.

"you won't lose meee, I will be right here" he pokes you in your right eye, "and here" he points at your artificial heart, "you know what I mean!"

You nod, and hold his hand up to your face.

He looks up at the ceiling, and drawls out, "remember to forget, never forget to remember"

"SERGEANT!" one of the soldier bellows out.

"WHAT IS IT, PRIVATE!?"

"THERE'S A BOMB IN THE BASE!"

"KUSOOO, CAN SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF IT!?"

>30 seconds left until detonation

>Wipe Mori-sensei's memory with electricity
>Cut and paste his memory into your eye using a USB cord
>Vengeful Murder these fuckers

that's all folks

>>36504932
Oh yeah, you can also

>Leg it/wing it, whichever, this place is about to blow!

>>36504932
>he pokes you in your right eye
I lol'ed

>Cut and paste his memory into your eye using a USB cord

>>36504932
>Wipe Mori-sensei's memory with electricity

>that's all folks
Need someone new (old) to take over?

>>36504958
Can you please continue Felicia and Bigg or something else instead of continuing this one?

>>36504932
>Cut and paste his memory into your eye using a USB cord
>Blast his head with electricity
>BAIL

KABOOM and we live, they die

File: Mori Freeman.png (9 KB, 330x317)

9 KB PNG

>>36504969
Well, I'll put it to a vote.
>Fel/Bigg
>Rasina
>Yumi
>Something new

Also, I made Mori-sensei.

>>36505020
>Fel/Bigg

>>36505020
Leave Rasina for when Caligula gets back to it, other than that I don't mind.

File: ftfy.png (10 KB, 330x317)

10 KB PNG

>>36505020

>>36505059
>implying I ever color the skin
Hell, the yautja was left blank too.

Also, I've got a bus to catch so I'll see you fools in about an hour.

>>36505092
See you mate.

>>36505107
Ooh, does this mean we're going to continue Rasina now?

>>36505118
Only if folks want to.
And I don't have that much time but I can get some done in what time I have

>>36505134
How long do you have?

>>36505173
Enough for maybe 10 updates.

>>36505020
Rasina I guess.

>>36505192
Well I for one am interested then. ~10 updates is a decent chunk

>>36505203
>>36505199
Alright then.

Was doing some really quick private stuff, now I'm back.
----------------------------------------
Last time on Kabbalah
(Pretend you get one of those series intros with the disjointed pieces from the last episodes and a few lines that suck less than the rest of the script)

"Who'd you have to win a bet against to gain spiderlegs?!" You're pretty dumbfounded by the mere contemplation of the story behind this.

"Oh? Athena, that fucking ..." and off she goes muttering words in some strange language.
Wait, Athena? Greek mythology is not your forté, but you're pretty sure Athena is a pretty big goddess.

"Hey, you mean like, Athena the goddess?"

"More like bitchess"

Well shit.

>What do now sire?

>>36505281
>"Wait, hang on, Greek mythology is real? But I'm a devout hindu..."

>>36505281
>So! Uhhhh... what does Archon even do?

>>36505343
She starts to get anxious as you stare at her like she's grown another pair of spider legs:
"Wait, hang on, Greek mythology is real? But I'm a devout hindu..."

"Yes, of course it's real. And so are all the others" She chuckles.
"All myths of men live on in some form or another".

Interesting, interesting indeed. Maybe this is somehow related to the feeling you had earlier?
"Then my gods are real too?"

"Well yes. Like I just said, all myths live". She replies while organizing some paperwork on a receptionist desk.
"And do they grant blessings? That is, the gods, do they?"

"Not often. But some do. Why?"
"Nothing, nothing. Just some thought that popped up in my mind.
Hey, what does archon even do anyway?"

"Oh? Well I suppose I can let you know a tiny little bit can't I?"
Giggling she approaches you with a small card with your photo and name.

"That picture is so cute, my my..."
After a brief pause and a look from you she continues to answer your question

"Archon serves as an organization for mythological and supernatural defense.
Essentially we protect myths and humans from any who would try to actively harm them.
Including each other."
This is less shady than you first thought. They're like, what, mythic M.I.B?

>Say something?
>Do something?
>Try to find out more about the exam?

>>36505438
>Say something?
>"Right, and, not meaning to look a gifthorse in the mouth here, but how exactly am I qualified for any of that? Or is that the exact purpose of this test? Were there ANY qualities about my application that made me more suitable than the next candidate...?"

>>36505438
>Your rivals jumped me when I didn't show up to the exam, said they worked for Satan the Warden of Hell. How does that work, don't all myths have something like that? Like the furies, or Yama? This is just another case of Christians thinking they're important right?

Hey, is this a prequel to Slab?

>>36505469
Frantically gesticulating in her direction you start:
"Right, and, not meaning to look a gifthorse in the mouth here, but how exactly am I qualified for any of that?
Or is that the exact purpose of this test?
Were there ANY qualities about my application that made me more suitable than the next candidate...?"
This has really taken a toll on you, and you want to know exactly why you're involved in this bullshit.

Arachne is a bit terrified, but after calming down and sighing she answers.
"It's a really weird system, and I don't know much about it, nobody does except Tyche.
She came up with it and implemented it under the higher up's blessings.
Despite being really weird, it works. Every prospect ends up being a productive piece of this company"
She laughs and shakes her head while staring at the floor.
"Anything else?"

"Well I'll have to be honest here.
Your rivals jumped me when I didn't show up to the exam, said they worked for Satan the Warden of Hell. "

"Eeek! Satan? What does he want with us?"

"They just wanted me to get some information on what Archon is"
"R-really? Alright then... we tend to avoid him and the Other" She looks a bit pale.

"But how does that work, don't all myths have something like that? Like the furies, or Yama?
This is just another case of Christians thinking they're important right?"

"Abrahamics are important. They triumphed over most other myths and truth is they are far beyond us by now."
Her expressions saddens
"Even the most major gods have little power nowadays compared to them. Heads of pantheons have gone missing
and some myths just show up dead, for having been forgotten".

>What now?

>>36505560
Yes. Though I'm not exactly sure how to fit it all in right.

>>36505560
Let me put it this way:

Most people don't know about demons. Though demons are aware of the assumptions people have.
The east coast thing didn't happen yet, but it's not far away. Still the hellions and myths know shit's going down at the east coast.

>>36505600
>"Right, so...Wouldn't it be beneficial to work alongside them? Rather than maintaining secrecy which gets prospects jumped midway"

>>36505600
Fuck forgot to put in there:
her saying that all their otherworlds have been essentially abandoned,
except the nordic gods who just don't give a fuck and have stayed far away from shit.

>>36505600
>Well, that sucks. Just goes to show what the persecuted will do once they're on top.
>So, where's the next test? Gotta bring home the bacon, y'know?

>>36505643
Yeah, just like how Kronos changed his name to Kris Kringle and capitalized on one of Abrahamic religion's biggest holidays.

Hmmm, are elves a mix of titans and dryads/nymphs/naiads?

>>36505770
Drow would have to be born from Tartarus and fairy if that was the case, or maybe a spider woman.

"Right, so...Wouldn't it be beneficial to work alongside them? Rather than maintaining secrecy which gets prospects jumped midway"

Waving he left hand in a cute and oversized 'no' motion
"We can't trust them! They're the reason we're weak in the first place, there's just no way we can coexist! They'll destroy us!
She seems a bit angered at your idea, and it takes quite a bit for her to calm down fully.

Maybe things really were bad between them, you'll have to ask someone else probably.
"Well, that sucks. Just goes to show what the persecuted will do once they're on top."

"So, where's the next test? Gotta bring home the bacon, y'know?"
"Your payment is already delivered" Oh? Interesting.

"Ten thousand american dollars delivered to you and your wife's account.
And another three hundred thousand in case you somehow manage to die during the exams."

Die? Well this suck.
"R-right. So about the tests then?"
"Of course, of course. Just use your card on that elevator's card slot"

What elev..." you were about to ask but it appears in place of the door you entered through.
"I love your interior designer"
"You can compliement Janus later, now you should probably go. Good luck Rasina"
Weird, she used your first name instead of calling you sir now.

>What now? Go to the elevator?

>>36505806
>Go slant ways in the Janavator, then try going square ways.

>>36505806
>Weird, she used your first name instead of calling you sir now.
Huh, maybe we met before.

By the way, sorry for writing so much smut earlier with little interaction throughout.

>>36505943
I ain't complaining. You did good anyhow, including the non-smut bits.

>>36505806
>Weird, she used your first name instead of calling you sir now.
Oooh, romantic subplot.

>Go to the elevator.

>>36505806
You decide to move onto the next part of your journey:
Elevator riding.

After examining the card slot and deciding it doesn't have any tricks you use your card.
The elevator doors open instantly.

No one stands inside it, but there's a relaxing and bland tune playing.
You get in and check the panel. Only one button, that makes things easy.

Pressing it you're shocked when a sudden shift from the elevator launches you sideways.
The direction light indicates it's going down and the floors are... going to random numbers?
You're on floor 34i in a moment and the next you're in floor square root of 2.

Thrown once more, this time against the diagonally against the ceiling, you only have one thought.
What kind of fucking ASSHOLE does this?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The short ride which only took 20 seconds, but - felt - like it took ten minutes, finally ends.
You're going to need some pain pills.

Opening the door you're greeted by a large lab with very advanced equipment.
Two doctors stand next to a hummingbird.
The two doctors are twins, considering they look exactly the same.

The humming bird is...
"Welcome recruit. I am Huitzilopochtli, but you can call me Commander Hu.
These are the ashvins, and we're here to perform your physical examination."


>>36505770
I thought of answering this straight but I think this spoils a bit of the worldbuilding fun.

>>36505970
>>36505904
>NTRing your faithful wife
hahaha

>>36506084
>What do

Shiny happy retard caligula

>>36506084
>NTRing your faithful wife
In my defense, Rasina was originally going to have a faithful husband. All bets are off now.

Also dibs on Svarog being the next god. Never enough love for Slavic mythology.

>>36506102
>>36506084
Alright here's some options:

>Just proceed with the examinations. No questions just follow orders.
>Ask something to them now, or during the examination.

>>36506102
>What do
Submit to physical examination, of course.

>>36506138
>Modern Slavic gods
>Perun constantly squatting
>Veles wears a tracksuit and Adidas
>Jarilo yells at Turks a lot.

>>36506168
>>36506102
>Ask something to them now, or during the examination.
"How can I get in contact with the guy who made your elevators?"

>>36506174
Thanks for the laugh anon, added
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Uh, my pleasure.
How can I get in contact with the guy who made your elevators?"

The commander morphs into the form of what's essentially a buff mexican man in a silly feather hat.
He sighs and responds:
"Look, we already got dozens of complaints filed.
If you really want to talk to Janus that much just go to R&D and look for Vulkan and Svarog, the three are always
together building crazy shit and fucking with people.
It's like our decay made the gods act like kids, more than before I mean."

While moving towards a door he adds
And don't confuse either with Hephaestus or you'll get your head bashed in."

"So, come with me for the physical examination." You follow him.

The ashvin follow you in turn, giving you smiles when you look at them.
Guess they're happy to see an hindu.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"First part of the test is simple, physical strength.
Now this might seem stupid but bear with us, we need to know which
department you'll fit in more. And this is essential for any jobs in security and operations."
He gestures you to get inside a small cube that goes from the floor to the ceiling.

"Are you ready?"
"I guess."

"Alright let's start it up then."
The ceiling and floor start making some weird noises, and that's when you realize they're both getting closer to each other.
Ohhh, this sucks.

>Roll me 1d20
Best of three

Also anything you want to say while doing HEAVY LIFTING

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>36506392

>>36506439
Well frankly I don't think there's much point in continuing to roll.

File: INDIASTRONK.jpg (64 KB, 634x581)

64 KB JPG

>>36506439
Well, what

>>36506392
I was going to roll, but >>36506439 Rasina clearly has things covered.

>19
You make sure your position is firm and fix your hands against the ceiling.
The pressure makes your arms and lex flex, bulging muscle nearly ripping your shirt appart.

If there's one thing good about playing rugby is that you're no wimp.
All those years of lifting and sprinting in training gave you strong legs and arms, along with a powerful core.

Weight increasing each second all you can do is increase the force which you apply.
Your limit gets closer and closer, and soon you surpass it much to your surprise.


A small screen inside the machine indicates a number, 576. It increases, 610, 631, 640.
Your shirt gives out, the pizza parlor uniform's arms turn into blown pieces of clothing.

And that's when you feel your limbs giving up, only to hear a couple exclamations.
"Wow, not bad. Actually that was very impressive."

You get out of the machine, the ashvins and Hu stare at you.
Even a couple more people who you don't know seem to have come to watch your performance.

"So how did I do? 640 pounds ain't bad"
"Pounds? Those were kilograms son."

Huh, guess those years playing rugby did pay off. A lot.

>on to the next test?
>any questions about anything?

And you can already
>roll 1d20
For the next test by the way

>>36506632
Oh so yeah to make it clear he essentially held half a ton above his head.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>36506632
>On to the next test

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36506632
Swole Indian time

File: Boreawat.png (244 KB, 476x465)

244 KB PNG

>>36506688
Indian superman, hahahaha

>>36506688
STRONK LIKE DRAVIDIAN

>>36506708
Next test was reflexes actually.

>>36506719
FAST LIKE DRAVIDIAN

>>36506732
Haha, right, indian neo time.

So, you guys could roll already for the other test, the final one (stamina test).
Normal procedure
>1d20
>best of three

File: 213546342.png (50 KB, 224x202)

50 KB PNG

>>36506688
>>36506439
What has Hindu science done

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>36506770

>>36506770
If we get all three, do we become the living avatar of Kali?

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>36506770
>>36506830
With die, even.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>36506770
Once more, this time with feeling.

>>36506871
Well fuck feelings then.

>Hindu Hyperthrophy: +3 to Strength related rolls.

He leads you to the next test room. Meanwhile you talk.
"Back there, that result wasn't normal at all, Mr. Modi.
If you know anything about how you achieved such, please inform me or the management."

You had guessed so, maybe it was that prayer before?
Nah, you've always been strong. Probably just never realized your own limits.
Still it's weird that you can do that, maybe you should research into it later.

Arriving at the last test room you're let in, while the rest watches from the outside
a big glass panel allowing them to do so.

"So what now?"
"Now you dodge, Mr. Modi. If you get hurt the ashvins will provide care"

The door closes and locks the room.
"Dod..?" A red burst of energy comes from the wall directly at you.
You backstep it easily, but soon other two come.

At first you find it weird how you are capable of dodging them all so easily,
but soon you lose the time to think about that and just focus on the evasion.

In a minute there's a couple dozen beams at once being fired at you from multiple angles
the world flies around you in bullet time as you dodge them all.

You backflip a beam headed straight for your feet and land with a single hand supporting your body. With a single twist of your mass you let three other shots fly right past you.

Nothing can hit you, you're unstoppable. You jump across the walls, swing yourself, drop to the ground, roll. You know exactly what to do to evade.

Soon the room is almost completely filled with red light attempting to hit you, but even a hundred different shots can do nothing against your perfect reflexes and speed.

"Alright that's it, stop, stop! You reached the system's cap."
You exit the room, and he comes to shake your hand.
"I'll be fucking damned, only one other in god knows how many people ever did that,
your file is going with a special recommendation from myself, Mr. Modi, you bet your ass it will"

>1/2

>Raja of Reflexes: +4 to Reflex and Speed rolls
>Good Stamina: +1 to Stamina and Endurance rolls

You go to what is the next, and final, test. According to Hu the next test is
going to have little impact in your overall score, considering you reached top marks on one
and just surpassed the top in the other.

The final test is simple, you just run on an inclined mill for as long as you can.
While pushing a big rock, sure. But that doesn't really matter does it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After an hour your body gives in, you did above average, which is good.
But it wasn't nowhere nearly as impressive as the other results.

"Don't worry recruit. Your file is already on the top of the list when considering physically demanding jobs".
You aren't sure that's good, but at least it seems exciting.

"You can go now to the last part of the exam, the written test. After that it's just the interview and you'll get assigned"
A written test? That's more your area really. Well time to go then.

Wait where to? How...? You question him and he points it out to you.

Oh no.

Not again.

Not the elevators.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Aight guys I'm probably cutting off for now.

Anything ye wanna ask, or criticize, or suggest, or mock?

>>36507088
Nah, you done a good job. I suppose either QuestKiller returns and Yumi continues, or I do something else?

>>36507130
Well, Fel/Bigg got one vote. But I don't think anyone else is here if you do decide to do it...

>>36507130
Thanks.
Good luck folks,
also wondering what does Rasina even look like,
I'll leave it for you folks to decide hah

>>36507159
I'm here, but I haven't read any of the Fel/Bigg stuff yet. I'm only caught up on the siblings.

>>36507253
Ah well, things should go fine anyhow. Unless you want I should start an... eighth plot line anew? I'm up for some chargen.

>>36507287
chargen pls

KABBALAH QUEST, CHAPTER WHO-THE-HELL-KNOWS-ANYMORE

The Catalonian sun shines upon your face as you trudge up the hill. You are a humble shopkeep in Andorra, on a usual hike through the mountains. But who are you?

>Name - Write in

>Gender - Roll a 1d3
1 - Male
2 - Female
3 - Some ungodly state between the two

>Age - Roll a 1d20 +15

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>36507438
Name - Gender dependent. If male: Jean Molné. Otherwise: Dalita Molné.

Rolled 17 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>36507473
Dalita it is! Also
>1d20+15
>Not making it yet another loli.

Rolled 6 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

>>36507486

>>36507486
thank god it's not another loli

>>36507486
>>36507473
A mature woman in Kabbalah quest? Preposterous! If there are no other replies in ~10 minutes, I'll begin writing for Dalita.

>>36507508
This quest is like smutty To Aru, innit?

You are Dalita Molné, 21 year-old shopkeep of Andorra. Selling erotic pastries and hiking are nice and all, but you long for something more. A life beyond this quaint Iberian town, an adventure like the ones you used to dream of in your youth. The summer sky calls to you, the forests below offering unspoiled wonders, the river burbling ancient secrets to any who would hear them. But reality is a bitch, and wandering in nature all day doesn't pay the bills.

Ever since the rise of the Fourth Reich, tensions have been high in Andorra. It's nice to be able to escape every once in a while. You ponder a chance at 'adventure' conscripted into fighting Kaiser Merkel, but any ruminations are cut off by a sudden flash in the sky.

You shield your eyes, but your ears are left unguarded to the cacophonous roar that follows. A crash to the northwest grabs your attention, and your eyes open to a thin trail of smoke about half a mile from your position.

As you run towards the impact zone, thoughts of UFOs and alien invasions pass through your head. Whatever it was hadn't been flying overhead before, it just... appeared! You round an ancient stone precipice to see the crater. It's surprisingly small, only about ten feet in diameter, but the depth suggests a rather fast impact.
In the center, a soft green light pulses. Its source is obscured by dirt and debris, but it can't be very big.

What do you do?
>Get the fuck out of here, this is too X-Files for me
>Investigate closer, but cautiously
>Pick up the thing to look at it
>Other (Write in)

>>36507772
This quest is many things.

>>36507923
>Investigate closer, but cautiously

>>36507923
>Pick up the thing to look at it
When did this quest get anywhere by being cautious?

>>36506084
>NTRing your faithful wife
Hey, all I'm saying is that maybe we were a fly fellow who met her in a previous life.

>>36507186
Thanks for running, I'm enjoying this.
Rasina's appearance...He's pretty much just become >>36506466 in my mind now.

>>36507923
>>36507978
Changing to: >>36508019

File: Rasina Squad.jpg (86 KB, 634x497)

86 KB JPG

>>36508411
And here's the team Rasi will lead

>Investigate closer, but cautiously

You shuffle along the crater, finally resolving to get a better look at this thing. Kneeling down near the center of the impression, you notice that the thing is about the size of your thumb, ovoid in shape. Its green light seems to be internal, as though bio-luminescent. It can't be that though, you think, since the item is very clearly not organic.

>Pick up the thing to look at it

Well, you've gone this far on your bravery. No time to quit now. You brush the dirt away from the item, picking it up tentatively between two fingers. No flesh boiling, no violent lasers, seems pretty safe.

Turning it in your hand, it is almost flawlessly smooth, no lines or cuts to be seen, save for a near-invisible ring running near the tip. Odd.
The pulsing grows more intense as you hold it, is it reacting to your body heat? As the light grows brighter, so does an odd compulsion, one you can't quite place...

Roll a 1d20, will save lol.

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36508462

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>36508462
2240 pciame

>>36508462
Oh, I should mention, this is roll-under.

>>36508482
How many of these have we rolled per thread?

Also, fuck yeah, Great Gatsby Quest

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>36508482
I guess that takes car of that.
>>36508507
SHIEEEEEEEET

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36508462

>>36508482
>this much will

>>36508507
Nobody does that, and you literally just said it because of the roll.

I dislike to scream it but...
Roads on Rails

>>36508507
Booooooooooo!!!

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>36508524
Enh, not strictly true, plus a QM running the Mori-Sensei section earlier was doing it too

>>36508482
The one time you don't want a 20.

>>36508524
I just thought doing roll under for once would be fun, I hadn't even seen it ;-;

In any case, as it usually is highest (well, lowest now) roll out of three goes.

>>36508539
He was doing percentile roll under.

Never saw d20 roll under.

>>36508549
Well, true, but does the number of sides really matter to how someone interprets them..?

>>36508559
I have no actual problem with the roll system,
the real issue is the whole "I'll flip a coin. Oops heads, you lose" feel I get from this situation.

>>36508539
I also announced that it was going to be "low is good" before the rolling started.

>>36508573
Well, let's just take it as it goes for now and if we don't fall forward it'll put an fairly swift end to this arc I imagine.

>>36508584
True, but from the time between Maus' announcement of it and the 20 I really DO think it was benign mishap.

>11/20

You put aside the odd thoughts for now. Still, perhaps it would be better to keep the thing around, not often odd green pill-things. What to do with it, though?

>Take it into town, maybe the internet will have some information.
>Poke and pull at it, maybe something will happen.
>Other (write in)

>>36508611
>Eat it.

>>36508611
>Eat it.

>>36508611
>Poke and pull at it, maybe something will happen.
Best feedback is always tactile

>>36508606
>>36508584
>>36508573
Things I wish I had included in the main update...
Either way, I didn't use the 20 since it seems to be contentious.

>>36508635
Booooooooooooo!!!!!

>>36508627
>>36508629
...did I double post or something?

File: 1415560663628.gif (1.49 MB, 384x288)

1.49 MB GIF

>>36508627
>>36508629
>4 seconds apart
So it shall be.

>>36508635
Don't worry about it man, stuff happens like that.

>>36508611
Fuck it, let's eat that thing.

>>36508662
I guess we're swallowing the mysterious glowing green thing that just fell from space then
What could go wrong?
I now really want to see what happens.

>>36508659
Oh look, a kindred spirit!

>>36508691
I hope we don't kill a baby.

>>36508710
I hope we do.

>>36508718
I hope you're the baby.

>>36508732
Me too. Please release me from this eternal flesh prison. I've been stuck here so long...

>>36508744
Poor Baby Jesus, he suffers to save us all.

>Eat it.

The compulsion from before returns, stronger this time and yet... different. You turn the pill-like item in your hand, watching almost mesmerized by its light. You don't realize until drool falls down your chin that you've been salivating. Even as your minds struggles with the absurdity of the situation, you pop the item in your mouth.

It doesn't taste like that Lego you accidentally swallowed when you were little, not really like anything you've ever had between your lips. Sort of sour, maybe a bit... crunchy?
The thought is punctuated by a loud crunch, as the 'capsule' is cracked by your teeth. Some sort of liquid trickles from the inside, pooling in your mouth and some finding its way down your throat. It tastes sweeter than the capsule does, almost like apple juice, but... different.

You almost want to stop chewing, but it tastes so good! The thing crumbles and practically melts in your mouth, releasing more of that sweet liquid until you've emptied it of its contents. Swallowing the last of the now cream-like mixture, you hold a hand to your stomach and come to terms with the act you've just committed.
Why the hell did you just eat a strange, glowing green thing you found falling from the sky?

>(Cont)

You figuratively slap yourself for your impulses, then literally slap yourself for the complete idiocy of the act. Fuck, you hope that thing is digestible.
Your worries almost distract you from the odd closeness of your pants. They feel itchy, uncomfortable. Your shirt, too, and socks. Like a sudden case of dermatitis, but why would that happen? There's hardly any time to put two and two together before your skin starts to itch, flesh practically rippling as you scratch instinctively at it.
You look on in shock as your outer skin flakes away, peeling back to reveal a bumpy, brownish, exposed inner layer. Wait, brownish? Your fear is mixed with confusion as the old skin gives way to a wood-like dermis, knuckles almost gnarled and long lines reminiscent of bark running down your legs. Finally, the itching and flaking slows, stopping once your whole body is covered in - you give a trepidatious tap to your forearm - w-wood? You can still feel sensation on this new skin, so some form of nerves must have been retained.

At this point you're too shocked to despair, looking at as much of yourself as you can, fingers exploring the odd texture of your new body. A stray hand touching your face grazes your ear, and you pull it back with a surprised cry. Your ear! It's grown longer, the cartilage forming a pointed extension at the top. It seems almost extra-sensitive at the new tips of your ears, and you're reminded of the fairies in old storybooks.

>(Cont.)

>>36505665
>Well, that sucks. Just goes to show what the persecuted will do once they're on top.
Eh, now that I think about it, that I chose to say this seems kind of lame. I don't really know much about the origins of Abrahamic religions.

You fall back, landing on your rear in the dirt as the last of the itchy, tingling feeling subsides. Note to self: do NOT consume strange things sitting in craters!

'Yeah, you can say that again.'

Wait, what the hell?

'Oh, you can hear me, lovely.'

Who's sayi-

'YOU UTTER YAXI! YOU ABSOLUTE DICKMUNCHER, WHAT ON EARTH WERE YOU THINKING?!'

Woah, what? What are you talking about.

'You fucking ATE me! Why would you eat me?!?'

It was an odd, heat of the moment thing! You don't even know why you did it yourself, it was like a compulsion!

'Well that's just GREAT! Absolutely fucking alcarinqua! Ten seconds on Arda and I've been eaten!'

Alright, this is the weirdest day you've had.

>What do you say?

>>36509245
>"Arda? Funny way to say Earth"
>"For the record, you were delicious. I'd consider eating you again."

>>36509245
>Arda
>Pointy ears
>tree-like skin
I think I see where this is going...

>What do you say?
"Sorry! I didn't know that there was someone in there!"
"Uh... who are you, by the way?"

>>36509245

Alright, Chief. I'm gonna need you to calm down. First, What are "you?"
Second, AAUGHHHHHHHOLYSHITBALLS SOMETHING'S INMYHEAD

>>36509310
I don't get the references. Where is this going?

"Alright Chief. I'm gonna need you to calm down."

'Calm down?! CALM DOWN?! I was just EATEN!!'

Sorry, I didn't know someone was in there! And it was so delicious!

'...'

First, uh... what are you?

'What I am is a Lindar, of the Quendi race.'

A what of the who?

'An, eh, Elf. I am an elf. Or WAS, at least.'

An elf?! You mean those arrow-slinging effeminate treehuggers you hear about on anonymous image boards online? Those aren't real!

'We are very real. Just look at yourself if you don't believe me.'

You must be going insane. How did eating that thing make you like... this?

'Well, as you may have noticed there aren't a ton of elves here now. I was sent to this place in the capsule - the one you ate - and would have corporealized in a few minutes' time as it opened.'

But then you...

'Yeah. Then you ate me. I can't really explain it, since this wasn't exactly supposed to happen, but seems like the capsule did its best to make an elf out of what it could. Problem is, it can change the body but wasn't made to alter a mind. So now we're here.'

>How do you respond?

>>36509544
So...

If I touch myself, is it sex?

Or still just masturbation?

>>36509544
>"I hope you're not expecting me to breed your a race of elves on our planet. I have hopes! A Dream! Can't let being an elven matriach get in the way of that!"

>>36509544
"What did you come here for, anyways? Maybe we can help!"

>>36509544
>"Wait, so in a few moments I saved Earth from an elven invasion? Do I get a medal for this I wonder..."

>>36509645
Mhm, of course you don't want that...
>>36509403
Well, Mausoleus has said it. We've got Elves. Tolkien elves, apparently, except with dryadesque skin.

>>36509715
We can become famous as the sexier version of the elephant man!

>>36509544
"Well we can still make more elves right? This body is an elf body, and I'm a HUGE slut."

>>36509737
>>36509732
>>36509715
>>36509645

I like where this thread is going!

What did you come here for, anyways? I hope you're not expecting me to breed your a race of elves on our planet. I have hopes! A Dream! Can't let being an elven matriach get in the way of that!

'Breed a- what? No! We're not here to repopulate!'

Oh. Well, we can still make more elves right? This body is an elf body, and I'm a huge slut.

'Osse above, no! Elves can't breed with humans and make elves, they'd be Pereldar, half-elves! And stop talking about breeding!'

Wait, so in a few minutes I saved Earth from an elven invasion?

'We're not invading, either! If you didn't notice, I'm the only elf here!'

Alright, so earth is safe from being invaded or fucked to death. Glad that's settled.

So...

If I touch myself, is it sex or masturbation?

'What is it with you and sex? Are all humans like this? I don't know, it's still just one body!'

>Anything else to say before we move on?

>>36509841
>"Time to find out then!"
-Some internal screaming later-
>"Maybe it's rape...?"

>>36509871
EXCELLENT!


>inb4 it's never rape with an elf

Fuck it, I'll go with this if no one has anything else to do/say.

>>36509841
>"So are you a male or female elf anyway? Nevermind, silly question - there's no difference!"

>>36509921
>>36509901
Stereotypes will not earn you favor with mind-Teleri, anons.
>>36509841
>What's your name, anyways?

>>36509871
Seconded

(I'd object to slut Dalita, but I opened by saying she owned an erotic bakery so I have no ground against it.)

You don't know? Well, maybe we should find out~

'What are you talking abou - oh.'

You unbutton your shirt, pulling it aside. It was still feeling kind of itchy anyhow. Next to go are your pants, shimmying out of the trousers and tossing them away.
You glance around, a brief moment of modesty to check and make sure you are alone, before unstrapping your bra. The modest mounds give the slightest jiggle as you act, but they're hardly anything to write home about.
Not that you'd write home about your tits.

'You couldn't even wait to do this in your own home?!'
Oh hush, you'll enjoy it.

Leaning against a large stone, you trace a hand down your stomach, fingers slipping beneath your underwear to find your eager cleft. You grin slightly as your hand runs down the labia.

"Ah, why do you have tooooohh!'

The elf's comment is cut off as your thumb brushes your clit. She can obviously feel it, then.
You enjoy the slightly wooden feel of your labia, the feeling still pleasant despite its oddity. Venturing a finger inwards, you find that your insides seem to be unchanged.

'W-we shouldn't be, ah, do-doing thisss...'

Your new headmate's protests fall on deaf ears as a second finger joins your first, pressing with insistence to enter. You begin pumping the digits in earnest, thumb circling and brushing at your clitoris with each piston.

Soon, the elf is moaning like a well-used whore, and your own cries are hardly more dignified. You oscillate with needy intensity, fingers moving faster to bring yourself to a finish. The heights of your pleasure cause you to arch your back, pressing against the rock and lightly thrusting your hips as though to pleasure a man who isn't there.

>(Cont. Not much more sex though, I swear.)

>>36510376

Finally, your climax crashes upon you and your new companion, a scream of ecstasy sounding throughout the hill and startling some deer to the south. Your hand plunges as deep as it can reach within your pulsing loins, and you slide down the rock in satisfaction as the orgasm subsides.

'Haah... ah... that, th-that was...'

Rising on shaken legs, you give a long sigh and set about redressing. Once you're fully clothed, you decide it would be a good idea to head home. It's getting kind of late.

Oh, what was your name, by the way? Are you a woman or what?

'Erenyë. I was, er, am a man.'

Enrenyë? Well, nice to meet you. I'm sure we'll be getting along very well.

What next?
>Head home, I'm tired/hungry/interested in arguing with strangers online
>Head to the library, see what I can learn about these 'Quenya'
>May as well finish that hike I started
>Go somewhere else

>>36510536
>Head to the library, see what I can learn about these 'Quenya'
We should possibly be wary about strolling into a library looking like a tree... they might try to make books with us
Should we find a balaclava?

>>36510536

>May as well finish that hike I started

>>36510536
>Head home, I'm interested in arguing with strangers online

>>36510536
Seconding >>36510672, and combine with >>36510564.
>Just google it, Wikipedia will tell you.

>>36510706
>sitting in our own home, wearing a balaclava just to be safe

You decide that heading home would be prudent. Thankful that your hiking trail is mostly unnoticed, you slip into your home without anyone noticing.

'This is where you live? It's a bit small...'

Yeah, well I don't often entertain guests. Quiet.

Locking the door behind you, you close the blinds and click on your computer.

'Oh, this must be one of those televisions!'
Actually, it's a computer. That said, you're pretty nonchalant about this stuff. I've seen the movies, shouldn't you be wondering what everything does and trying to talk to the toilet or something?

'Well, I got a bit of a primer. Not any use sending someone into a world they don't know anything about!'

Fair enough.
You open your web browser, and start searching google for 'Quendi' and 'Teleri', when a stray look at 34chan distracts you.

- - - - - - -

'I don't understand, if she is your wife, why does she not live here?'
No, "waifu", it's diff- nevermind, busy!
'You are not busy, you are typing angrily into the computer!'
He called her a slut! She is too pure for that, I have to make sure he knows he is wrong!
'Why not just get off of the computer? It would save you a lot of stress.'
No, I'm practically enjoying my anger!

- - - - - - - -

A couple hours later, you finally exit 34chan. Fucking mods banning people for nothing these days!

'You did threaten to disembowel his family while he watched.'
He called her a slut!

Anyways, where were you before? Oh right, this elf in your head, what's she all about?

'You could have just asked me, you know.'

People may lie, but the internet always tells the truth. Erenyë sighs, but you continue. Turns out these guy are all from books by Tolkien.
Hey, he directed that film with Orlando Bloom in it, didn't he?

Enrenyë sighs again.

>(Cont.)

>>36511085
>'Erenyë. I was, er, am a man.'
>Oh right, this elf in your head, what's she all about?
>she
kek. Even the MC.

>>36511085
Wait, if these "Quendi" were just made up by Tolkien, what the hell are they doing here?

'He didn't invent us! Sure, he got some things wrong, embellished a bit, but the Silmarillion wasn't a work of fiction.'

Are you saying that Elves were wandering around a few thousand years ago, fighting dragons and shit?

'No, no. Like I said, Tolkien got some things mixed up. Heck, even to the end of his life he hadn't gotten it all worked out fully. Did a whole lot more of it than most, though. Anyways, we didn't leave across the sea a few millenia ago. We left across space, about a hundred thousand years ago.'

You'd be more incredulous, but stranger things have happened today. Seems like she
'He'
he may be telling the truth after all.

>So, why are you here then?
>So, does that mean Orlando Bloom is actually an elf?
>So, why do I have bark for skin?
>So, (Write in)

>>36511270
>So, why are you here then?
>So, does that mean Orlando Bloom is actually an elf?
>So, why do I have bark for skin?

>>36511270
>So, does that mean Orlando Bloom is actually an elf?

So, does that mean Orlando Bloom is actually an elf?

'What? Finwë's prick, no. Why would he be? He doesn't even look like one!'

You mean the wooden skin? You were actually wondering about that.

'Yeah, that. I did mention Tolkien got some things wrong. We're tree lovers, after all, denizens of the forest. It's just sort of... how we are. Look, I'm not an expert on anatomy, but suffice to say that this is as natural to me as your old skin was to you.'

Heh. Natural.

'Shut up.'

So, what are you even doing here?

'Not much point in hiding anything, now that I can't do it. I was sent to prepare your region for Dagor Dagorath.'

Dagger what?

'Dagor Dagorath. You, uh, you don't want to know.'

Wait, you said "this region". Does that mean there's more of you?

'Yes, about 300, all counted.'

Yes! So you CAN breed new elves!

'Stop talking about breeding!'

>(Cont.)

You wake up the next morning feeling a bit stiff. Oh, right, your bark. Seems you've got a bad case of morning wood.

Erenyë groans. 'That was terrible.'

Ignoring him, you get out of bed and get dressed, preparing for wor- oh yeah. Serving customers is going to be pretty difficult looking like you're cosplaying Groot. Hmm...

Shuffling around in your closet, you find a large poncho from Halloween last year. It's not stylish or anything, but it should do. Putting it on with some high boots, concealing pants and gloves, you realize this is hardly better for work. Looks like you're taking the day off.

Uh, what am I supposed to do? I can't do any work looking like this!

'Hey, I'm not the one who ate a glowing green thing from the sky.'

Right. Well, there must be something to do...

>Go use the internet
>Hey, maybe we can help Erenyë with their thing!
>Do something else, within reason.

>>36511727
>Go to work, say you have a non-contagious skin condition.
We need to go back to work at some point, the sooner we try the sooner we'll know if we fail or not

>>36511727
(Slice-of-life quests aren't my forte, this was going to be a lot more adventury, but it went off the rails when you all decided to Eat the Elf.)

>>36511806
Ah, simple:
We post a blog about our situation, secret service come to investigate, then we go on the run

You decide that you may as well try working anyways. You can just tell you customers you're feeling sick. Though then they won't want to buy the pastries, hmm....

Maybe not a good idea to work, then.

>>36512016
Enh, in that case ask our headmate if he has anything he wants to go do since its his first time on earth.

Then ignore him and masturbate

>>36511727

>Hey, maybe we can help Erenyë with their thing!

>>36512072
Hmm, well, what do you want to do now that you're on Earth?

'Well, the technology of modern firya always fascinated me. We could drive a car, or fly in a plane, or...'
Mhm... As Erenyë talks, you slip a hand in your pants and sit down at the computer.

'...and even fire a few guns! Oh, it would be quite the - hey, what are you doing?'

Oh, don't worry. I'm listening, honest.
You open some dirty chinese cartoons, dredging your depths with abandon as Erenyë is forced to join the ride.

'I don't understand, these creatures are clearly incompatible for procreation! And why does it have so many tendril-oh.'

After a while, you finish, grinning as you turn the computer back off and stand again.

'Ah.. ahem, yes. So, now that that's done, what did YOU plan to do today?'

Hm, well riding in a car is boring and riding a train or plane is money I don't want to spend. Why not help him with his thing?
'My thing? You mean making preparations? I'm not sure, you may look like an elf but you certainly aren't one! I can't even control this body so you know what to do.'

You could just guide me, you know...
'Alright, alright. It can't make things any worse, at least...'

>(Cont.)

(Apologies for the long updates, winging things means this stuff takes a while to think up.)

>>36512308
So, where would one even go about preparing things for "Dagger Dogwrath"?

'Dagor Dagorath. And I'm here to try and clear the way for some, ah, rather important cargo. You see, there's these things called Silmarils...'

Yeah, yeah. alright. Where do I need to go and who do I have to fuck to get this done?

'It's somewhere in these mountains, but the fissure should stretch from this place, Andorra, to the coast. So you will want to go... Mount Canigo, southeast of here.'

Alright, let's just get in the car and go.

'Oh, we get to use a car?!'
Yeah, most people do.
'Right, sorry. Just that, I've never really been in a motorized vehicle before!'
Fair warning then: neither have I!

>Steal a car
>Fuck, we'll take a bus.
>Walk there (Nigga what, that is like five days walking at least)

>>36512527
>(Apologies for the long updates, winging things means this stuff takes a while to think up.)
Speaking from earlier KabbalaQMing I quite understand

>Steal a car
watcudgowrong

>>36512527
>"What is Dagger Dogwrath?"

You walk outside, and see your Peron loading up his Mondeo. Excellent.

"Hey Peron, how's it been?"
"Oh, good, you kno- aach!"
Before he can finish you punch him in the cheek, knocking him to the ground.
"Hey Peron, can I borrow your car?"
"Wh-what the fu-ooof!"

Once again cut off by a swing of your foot to his midsection, Peron keels over and holds his hands to his stomach. You pick up his keys off of the road. The man tries to reach an arm up, but a kick to his groin puts a stop to that.

"Thanks kindly, neighbor! I'll be seeing you around. And don't worry, I'll fill up the tank when I'm done!' You close the door, slotting in the key and starting the engine just like you've seen others do when riding in the passenger seat.

The car jerks forwards, and you remember to change that gear-thing. "F" is forward, yeah? You set off, going far faster than a person of your experience really ought to be.

>(Cont.)

>>36512527
>Steal a car

>>36512897
I hindsight he might've given us a ride if we asked...

Also did he just not care that we look like a tree?

>>36512897
'What the hell was that?!'
What? I got a car, you said I should get a car!
'No I didn't!'
Huh. Sure someone did... anyhow, it's good, I'll give it back to him when I'm done!

Erenyë stays quiet, perplexed at the behavior of modern humans. Luckily for you, the road is mostly empty today. And by lucky for you, I mean lucky for any potential drivers who have the bad fortune to come near you.

The little speed-dial reads 90kph. That's under average speed, ya? Better hurry up if we want to get there soon!

The cars whirr by, and you have to veer and swerve to avoid some of them hitting you! Crazy, these knobs are on the wrong side of the road! You've seen it done the proper way in all those American films.

Slowing down for the stoplight, you slam on the brake. The wheel leaves a small mark on your poncho from the sudden stop, and Erenyë is shouting in your ear. But what does he know? Elves can't drive!

>(Cont.)

>>36513007
He hardly had time to react, and we're covered in clothes to try and hide it remember?

>>36513149
After half an hour of near-death experiences, sudden stops and screeching tires, you hear sirens behind you. Drats, the polizei have caught up! Well, we've got to shake these shakers.

>Go faster! Go faster!
>Try to knock them off the road!
>Give 'em the Scandinavian Flick!
>Something else/

>>36513304
>Bail and hide in the forest

>>36513304
>Give 'em the Scandinavian Flick!
I don't know what this is...

>>36513304

>Give 'em the Scandinavian Flick!

>>36513351
Heheh, 'won't see the tree for the forest'...

>>36513359
It's a cornering technique.

>>36513387
But why would WE need to corner to police? You've got it backwards anon

>>36513432
>corner the police*

There's only one way you're going to outpace the rozzers, and that's with some high-level maneuvering!
You approach a wide turn in the road, around a bend in the hill. There's some cones and marked barrels there, but you don't have time for that.

Turning left, you flick the car to the right suddenly, releasing the throttle as you are slingshotted down the turn. The cops drive after you, but you quickly leave them behind as you rocket around the turn - and through the cones.
>(Cont.)

>>36513432
Nono, not a cornering technique, a CORNERING technique

>>36513531
Erenyë is still shouting at you.
You should probably be shouting at yourself right now.
Thinking you could perform an advanced driving technique when you've been behind the wheel for all of 45 minutes, honestly. Well, now is hardly the time for reflection.

You're barreling down a steep hill in a battered Ford Mondeo, barely missing large trees by the grace of some higher god. Branches whip across your windscreen, and the sirens grow fainter as you fall farther from the road. Well, at least you won't be getting arrested.

A great thump reverberates through the chassis, and you could swear you were lifting off. As the ground disappears beneath you, that may be more accurate a thought than you'd hoped.

>Roll a 1d20 (still rolling under, mind) and make peace with whatever god(s) you worship.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>36513638
Rolling whilst we roll
We're going for low now right?

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36513638
>Fuck the gods, pray to waifu

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>36513638

>>36513658
You got it man. And you got it, man.

>>36513785
>>36513658
Any god/entity in particular you would like to dedicate this roll to? Or shall it be QM's choice?

>>36513806
Iorise-chan

>>36513806
Erm, why not this >>36513671
Dalita doesn't strike me as the religious type

You careen through the air in a borrowed car, and your life flashes before your eyes.
No, it can't end like this... you think of your life, your losses, your one true waifu: Yumi-chan.

As you fall, the image of Yumi dominates your mind. Precious Yumi Kuroneko would never let you die, not after all the times you defended her honor online! Not after the lascivious fan art you had commissioned of her! Your devotion can't go un-rewarded!

With a metallic whine, the roof of the Mondeo is torn from its bearings, flinging off and out of sight. This is your chance! You undo your seatbelt, slipping out of your seat with surprising dexterity for someone falling off of a cliff. As the Mondeo plummets downwards far faster than you, you thank Yumi-chan for saving you.

Well, now you're just freefalling. So "saved" may not describe it. Miraculously - well, about a 5% chance - your descent is slowed as the poncho you're wearing billows out, catching the air like the flaps of a flying squirrel.

You float downwards, into the trees. Looking up, you see the edge of the cliff, several police cards parked along the cones. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, you guess.

>(Cont.)

>>36514006
Erenyë has stopped shouting, at least. You wonder what she's on about.

'...the Sickle of the Vala and consume the world in shadow. Oh, we're still falling.'

Yep, but at least you think you'll survive. Thanks Yumi-chan!

'Who?'

Shush. Now, where to land...
You aim for a less thick patch of trees, hoping that the branches will cushion your fall.
Wait no that's a terrible id-oof!

You're clocked in the head with a large elm branch, turning on your back and colliding with yet another branch from behind. Falling further, your resilient wooden skin is brushed and bruised by any number of leaves and branches on your way down.

Hey, that's the last of them! Now you just need to laaaaaaa- *smack*

>Wake up
>No, I like this dream!
>Yumi-chan!

>>36514183
>No, I like this dream!
Maybe we can interact with Erenye in the dreamscape

>>36514183

>No, I like this dream!

>>36514183
>Yumi-chan!
Is the wake up option really just an itwasalladream?

>>36514238
I would never do that! That would mean making up an entirely new plot and I can't be arsed to do so.

Your skin looks normal, like it did before you found that damn capsule. Even your ears feel normal. Wait, no - they're still pointed. The hell?
>I can't explain it either.
What?
>Well this is odd. Never shared a dream before.
That makes two of you, then. Erenyë?
>Who else?
What happened? Where are you? Where is she?
>You took a big fall.
A man is in the limbo. Was he there before? You can't say. He looks like a tree.
>Please stop calling us trees.
Shit, is that you Erenyë?
>As much as you are yourself here. What's on your brain?
Probably the sediment. Is this really limbo, then?
>I'm not sure. We're in the same predicament since I took that little fall with you.
Right, yeah. But hey, you survived. Did you survive?
>Well we aren't dead. If I was I'd be in the Halls of Mandos by now, so that isn't the case.
Alright, so... what's with this then? Do we just wait here until someone decides to pull us back to reality?
>Your guess is as good as mine.
My feet hurt.
>You don't have feet at the moment.
But I-
>Anyways, I suppose I should be a bit more forthcoming now that you can see me.
>Well, "see" in so much as your conscious can per-
Yeah, alright, what's this coming forth?
>Dagor Dagorath, the one I was telling you about before.
Yeah, right... (Shit, you really should have listened better).
>You're probably not going to survive it. Actually, you won't. No one will.
Shit. That bad?
>The Return of Melkor is not an event to take lightly.
So, if I help you, then everyone gets killed?
>They're going to die regardless. At least this way, they will not have died in vain.

>(Cont.)

>>36514645

Uh huh... heavy stuff.
>I don't see the relevance of weight here.
Yeah, okay Doc.
>Doc?
Nevermind. So, how the hell did I survive that anyways? I felt sure I was done for.
>I mentioned that many things were just the product of belief.
Sure, yeah.
>Sometimes events can be as much a result of faith as entities. It isn't easy to explain.
Not like we don't have time in here.
>Yes. On that note, we do have a lot of time. Is there anything you would like to discuss?


What do you want to talk about?

>>36514736
>Who's Melkor and why is he coming back?

>Why is everyone going to die regardless of if he comes back or not? Is there nothing anyone can do about that?

>>36514736
With options, even.

>Dagor Dagorath
>Why are my ears pointy?
>What's that about faith and events then?
>So... how's life?

>>36514837
>So... how's life? The earth everything you expected it to be?

So, who exactly is this Melkor guy? What's his deal?
>He is Morgoth Bauglir, the Destroyer, the Enemy: a Vala who rebelled against Eru and fell from grace. After many eons of war, attrition, and evading capture he was defeated by the other Vala and locked away beyond the stars.
Sounds like a capital fellow. So why's he back then?
>It is known that, during Dagor Dagorath, Melkor will return from his prison and consume Arien, the Sun, and Tillion, the Moon. Their light is a reminder of the Two Trees, and he loathes them.
Right, and then, eternal darkness?
>Not really eternal, it won't last terribly long.
Yeah, about that, why is everyone going to die?
>The song was imperfect, its notes corrupted by the Enemy. It must be rewritten, the Second Song must begin anew.
Right, so everything's gone then. Nothing we can do?
>It is in the will of Eru that it should happen. So no.

Lovely...

So, how's life? The earth everyyyaaaaaahhhhhhh

>(Cont.)

>>36515238
Your head hurts. It feels like someone dropped a mountain of lead on your skull. Or, more accurately, you were dropped off a mountain. Light floods your vision, the afternoon sun shining bright into your eyes. A welcome sight after so long in the dark. Feels good on your skin. Oh hell, are you photosynthesizing or something?

'That's absurd, you lack leaves of any kind.'

Ah, so Erenyë has joined you in the world of the awake.
'Naturally. Ugh, I don't deserve to feel YOUR headache!'
I said sorry. Still, at least we survived.
'I can't say the same for your stolen goods.'
Shit.

The Mondea lies several yards away, on its side. You're lucky you got out in time, as the smashed windows, crumpled frame and trashed front end are not conducive to a pleasant driving experience.
You pick yourself up, arms aching like all hell and legs still weak. After a bit of wobbling, you right yourself and look around.

All you've got on your person are your clothes and an elvish headmate.
You're completely lost, and you haven't eaten in hours.

Still, you think as the sun starts to dip low, things could be worse... somehow.

>>36515545
And that'll do it for me, for now. This was originally going to be a short little one-time thing, but it seems to have expanded far beyond my intentions.
Even if not a lot of people seem to have followed it.

We now return to your regularly scheduled QMs.

>>36515599
I liked it.

>>36515721
Yeah, eventually I will be tying it into the rest of the plot. For now though, I'm going to bed. Anyone foolish or brave enough to run a new thread now is free to do so.

>>36515599
I enjoyed it too

Oh hey, this thing is still around. And since no one has taken up the reigns, I suppose I could continue. If there's anyone around to do it, that is.

>>36521098
Anon, reporting in!

>>36521098
I'm here for a bit too

>>36521159
>>36521130
Aight then, I'll get going.

Agh, your neck hurts. Of course, so does the rest of your body, but mostly your neck.
You stretch your arms wide, forcing yourself into consciousness with a long yawn. The grass around you is still wet with morning dew, and it tickles your skin as you rise from the ground.

'Mára arin.'
What?
'Good morning. You slept quite a long time. Do you know what it's like being inside in a sleeping person?'
Not really. In any other situation that sentence would be really creepy.

Looking around, you don't see much of use, like last night the only thing you've got with you is your clothes. Far from ideal for survival, even if it is just getting out of the woods.
You look at the wreckage. Hmm...

>Try and construct something useful out of the wreckage. (1d20, rolling over again for simplicity's sake)
>Try and find a road or something to get back to civilization.
>Do something else (Write in)

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>36521322
>Try and construct something useful out of the wreckage. (1d20, rolling over again for simplicity's sake)
Dunno what we might make, but let's just hit things together until something useful turns up

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>36521322
>Try and construct something useful out of the wreckage. (1d20, rolling over again for simplicity's sake)

>Try and construct something useful out of the wreckage.
>15/20

You head over to the car, still rubbing your neck to try and work out the kinks.
'It would take several ages to work out all of your kinks.'
Oh be quiet. How about making yourself useful and helping me make something useful?

You circle the totaled car, stepping gingerly around broken glass, and briefly wonder why the hell the police haven't shown up yet. A piece of metal from the boot lid juts out in a rather convenient manner, you think. Carefully prying and pulling it away from the rest of the metal with a warping creak, you are left with a sharp metallic 'blade', about seven inches long and pointed at the tip. You could just hold the blunt end and use it as is, but you might want something more.

>We can make a spear! (1d20)
>We can get a handle on it (1d20)
>Nah, it's fine as is.
>Other.

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>36521457
>We can make a spear! (1d20)
Spears are the best for prodding people

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36521457
>We can get a handle on it (1d20)

>>36521478
Sure, but making a spear will make it a bitch to use as a knife which is vastly more useful at this stage when we're going to have to catch and skin things.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>36521493
That's... reasonable, okay switching.

>15 < 18
>We can get a handle on it

You decide this would be a lot more comfortable, and a lot more useful with a handle.

Hey Erenyë, you know anything about crafting wood?
'Enough, I believe, to make a knife handle.'
You grab a tree branch from a nearby larch, yanking it off with a tug. After snapping the leafy bits off and removing the excess wood, you have a roughly cylindrical piece of timber, about five inches to each end.

After a long half hour or so of whittling away at the wood with your improvised blade, you have a workable hilt. You tear off a piece of your poncho, wrapping the fabric tight around the wood and strapping it to the metal. Nested snugly within the wooden handle, your knife is now much easier to carry and wield.

Alright, so you can defend yourself from murderous hobos. Now what?

>>36521622
Check the position of the sun and ask Eren which way we need to be headed. Dunno if we can navigate by the sun but an elf like him should be able to.

>>36521642
Sounds good. Maybe nick the wiper fluid from the car first, use it as hand sanitiser? No idea if it actually sterilises though.

You step with your new ankle shanker out of the shade and look to the sun. Well, it's still morning, and the sun rises in the west, so you must be facing west!
'East.'
Hmm?
'The sun rises in the east.'
Right, so you're facing east then! So, where are we going?
'Wait, you're honestly still doing this? After you stole a man's car, nearly killed several pedestrians, and nearly killed yourself when you fell down that cliff?'
Well of course, not like I have anything better to do.
'Like seeking medical attention, maybe?'
Hah, nah I'll be fine. So let's get going, yeah?

Guided vaguely by Erenyë, you make your way southeast towards Mount Canigo. The going is a lot slower on foot, unfortunately.

After an hour or so of walking, you come upon a quaint hillside town, and a road theretowards.

>Thank god, I'm starving
>Maybe there's a car there I can use.
>Fuck that, I'm staying innawoods.

>>36521838
>Thank god, I'm starving
Let's try not to kill anyone with our hoboshiv

>>36521838
>Thank god, I'm starving
>Maybe there's a car there I can use.
Can we try asking for a lift this time rather than nicking one?

>>36521899
>asking for things
Hah.

Thank god, you think, I'm starving!
You begin to jog down the road, tucking your gut cutter into your pants and hiding it under your poncho.

'I trust you have money to buy food then? I'm feeling hungry as well.'

Hmm. Yeah, you hadn't brought any money with you. You actually didn't bring ANYTHING with you on the journey.

'Prepared for everything, I see.'
Less snark, more jogging.

No cars pass you as you approach. Odd, must be a small town indeed. You pass a few cottages and the like on the outskirts, but you're set on the town itself.

The streets are eerily quiet, it seems like there's no one about - a ghost town. Cars line the streets, unused. Only shadows and pigeons look back at you as you wander the road. This is really odd, even for someone who's currently half-tree.
'Hey!'

Well, even an empty town's gotta have food. Where to?
>The only diner around here: Cafe Paicaros
>The grocery store
>One of these houses should have food in them!

>>36521998
>The only diner around here: Cafe Paicaros
Hot food is best, although it might well not be if it's been left for a while.

>>36521998
Just a question, how do your alien elves fit with the 'spiritual' elves (elf queen, belief based elves).
Are they supposed to be the same thing but subtypes that headed different paths, or are they different things (a real different species for one and a belief construct for the other) but that humans named the same?

Well, at least with no one in town you won't have to pay for anything!
You make for the only visible eating establishment: Cafe Paicanos.

Luckily, whoever left the place left it unlocked. The door opens with a creak, and you search for a light switch. With a flicker, the overhanging lights illuminate the diner. It's a small place - only four tables and a booth to sit at. You head for the kitchen, flicking on the lights to that room as well.

The place is equally small, with a pair of ovens sharing a convection stove on top, a little sink, and a fridge. There are some snack bars and candy in the display case, and some cooking ingredients in the fridge and cabinets, but nothing really prepared. Damn, whoever left didn't leave anything good for you to eat. Maybe they took it with them?

'You could always make something yourself.'

Oh yeah, you're an erotic baker! Making a meal should be no issue. But what will you make?

>Dildough (White or Pumpernickel bread)
>Posterior Pastries
>Tit Cake
>Cream-filled fuclairs
>Something else

>>36522092
Elf God-Queen and the like were pleb tier Grey Elves. These are Teleri master race elves. Started out from the same branch, but the Grey Elves never left Earth and became woody.

>>36522192
>Dildough
Make a pumperniggel one to masturbate with and a couple white ones to satiate our appetite, making a bunch to take with us.

Whilst we're here we may as well make a couple sweet pastries too, though the cream filling won't keep if we try to bring any with us so not that many necessary.

>>36522192
White Dildough

Well, either way I liked your plot idea. Good work.
I do, however, have another question. If you'll please indulge me that is:

what are your plans for fitting this into the other stories, which other arcs are you intending to try and connect to?

>>36522223
This was taking place before Slab brings about the destruction of the east coast. So, what happens when there's two separate apocalypses trying to go off? Find out, on: This Elf is a total slut.

>>36522264
The real question is... what would have happened if we masturbated with the green thing rather than eating it?

>>36522264
So now we have two prequel arcs? interesting

>>36522271
The original plan was that Eren would try to convince you to help her-eh, him, and husubando adventure quest. Of course it's hard to husubando a voice in your head.

>>36522295
Hahah, we ate our destined husbando... I wonder if that's happened in any other quests before? Kabbalah quest, forging new ground!

>>36522295
we can try. Plus we can always find someone kind enough to pluck him outtav us.
Do you plan to have your arc based mostly in europe?

>>36522313
>based mostly in europe
It would be a nice compliment to the predominantly UST and smattering of Nippon we've had so far.

>>36522329
I was thinking it'd be nice to see what people render from those stupid ideas I threw around before.
Will be cool to see Europe.
So far we had a bit of "Mexico", Japan and a lot of UST. A single "scene" in Ireland too.

>>36522358
You mean the post mentioning the nations, like Kaiser Merkels Germany and the new British Empire and whatnot?

If so, repost cus I forgot half of it and have no idea which thread it was in

>>36522374

If I recall correctly:
Kaiser Merkel leading the Fourth Reich
New British Empire (maybe lead by Cyborg Elizabeth?)
Second USSR lead by Comrade Chairman Putin
and finally the French Caliphate

You decide to make some Dildough, they usually fill you up. Crafting the dough into a familiar shape, you set it to bake in the oven.

'Hm, are pastries among humans usually so... anatomical?'
Oh, you're an elf, I'm sure you're well associated with dicks.
'I-'
Hey, it's done!
'That was very quick.'
Well, it wouldn't be called a Dildough if it was fully cooked!

You remove the tray from the oven, admiring your handiwork - two pumperniggel ones, larger than the others due to some odd aspect of their yeast, and six white ones, for later.

Once they've cooled, you decide that you're hornier than you are hungry.
'As you tend to be.'
Shut up.

Pulling down your pants, you lower the darker dildough and and tease it inside. Erenyë protests as usual, but less so than previous times. Maybe he's just given up the effort, maybe she likes it. Either way.
You pump with vigor, drawing your confectionery creation in and out as you approach climax. You finish with a cry that, were the town not deserted, would likely have gathered a good deal of attention. Removing the now-dampened dildough from your nethers, you take a bite. Still tastes excellent, as you expect! Almost a hint of... sap? Odd.

You pull your pants back up, finishing the pumperniggel and packing the rest for later. Your hunger's been sated, and your lust as well. But what next?

>One of those cars might still have a key in it.
>We could just ride a bike.
>We'll hoof it, I guess.
>Wait, there's something else I want to do here... (write in)

>>36522313
Likely, since he's just assigned to the local region. And I don't think there will be many international flights during the Apocalypse.

File: Spoiler Image (1.48 MB, 2736x3648)

1.48 MB JPG

>>36522422
Ah that sounds about right. But which Elizabeth? Is it an old one kept alive by cybernetics or a new one desiring to stay the youthful ruler forever?

Personally I like the latter, and she assumes the form of Brittania.

>>36522534

The old one's mind transplanted into the new one's body and upgraded with cybernetics.
How about that?

>>36522527
Are you placing your apocalypse after Slab and Purification? Just asking because there were no mentions of anything in Europe up to the demon exodus. And then it was just the European mechas.
Maybe have it be placed during Punch and Slab's fight and make it so those mechas were part of the fleeing European forces?

>>36522576
It's going to be mostly synonymous with Punch's fight with Slab, since at first Eren assumes the event is part of Dagor Dagorath. The apocalypse is a bit more global, though, so the Mechas would probably just be there for colonial reasons.

>>36522626
Alright, I just thought it would go later since shit happened after the fight and the world wasn't ending, so it should take place a few weeks, a month later

Is this your way to build an opening for


Assvengers

>>36522685
Maybe.

Any response for >>36522527?

>>36522527
>We could just ride a bike.

>>36522702

>We could just ride a bike

Clearly fucking the bread was just a warm-up. Time for a bumpy ride.

Well, since you clearly aren't qualified to drive and walking will take months - 'Melodramatic.' Shush - you may as well ride a bike.

After a short search, you local a postman's bike leaning on a post. Putting your dildoughs and knife in the basket, you set off. The streets start to grow bumpy as you leave town, these windy mountain roads were never paved too well. Still, you think as the seat rides up into your pants, it could be worse. And it's a lot more enjoyable than walking!

Still no cars, not a single person all day. This is like something out of the Twilight Zone. What the hell is going on?

'I don't know, this wasn't part of the Hymns. This is not how Dagor Dagorath was meant to begin...'

Well, hard to predict Armageddon. So, how much longer till we get to that mountain?

'About eight hours, by bicycle.'

Lovely. This may be a while. But at least you've got good company.

END CHAPTER I-DON'T-EVEN-KNOW, Part I.

>>36522838
Thanks for running.

>>36522868
No problem, I may be back later, if things pick up again. For now, I've got classes to attend.

>>36522882
Thanks for running, I look forward to it.

>>36522576
>old mind transplanted
Sounds good, my only criteria now really is just that the end product resembles Britannia.

Anyone around to pick up QMing?

>>36526327
I will be in an hour, but I've done it quite a bit already!
Also, imma draw Dalita/Erenye so they can join the cast of characters. They're currently the closest to 'human' stats, since they don't seem to have any remarkable areas other than Sexual Prowess.

>>36526380
Yeah, I feel it's been a lil while since I took my turn but I still need to arrange my thoughts on how to proceed. It's namely figuring out character interactions, but I need to ponder it and I'm drowsy tonight

And yeah, Dalita will be a curiously mundane character. Rasina filled that role quite well until his physical examination occurred and people rolled all the dice, making him an unassuming mini-hulk.

>>36526446
I mean, he's still within human limits but I've placed his strength and ninja on the boundary cus if there was a peak human fitness he seems to have it.

>>36526473
>>36526446
Rasina is definitely a secretly hulkish character. And he's got the blessing of Kali.

Dalita is just a woman with an insatiable lust, bark-like skin, and an elf in her head.

>>36526327
Well, I've done it twice in a row now.
>>36526508
The lust part was initially unintentional (erotic baking being mostly a joke. Okay entirely a joke). But after we took the green pill and became the elf, people wanted to do a ton of masturbating and I felt that an unabashed pervert was a good foil to the relatively prudish Teleri.
Also he's a male elf stuck in the body of a lascivious woman, more disparity.

>>36526552
I didn't mind it, not like Kabbalah Quest isn't smut central anyways. You're not terribly bad at it, either.

Did this one get archived already?

>>36528985
No.

Hey, do people wish to play as Yumi again, or is someone else interested in doing that, or something else?

>>36526473
Reminds me, did we place Krag's post ascension stats up yet?

>>36529008
I'm interested in playing as her.
>>36529023
Not yet, but I can probably make those.

>>36504750
NUMP

>>36522264
>This was taking place before Slab brings about the destruction of the east coast.
Huh, guess Yumi's famous internationally as a jetfighter pilot of the JSDF or something.

>>36504954
>>36504958
>>36504990
You pick up the old man's body, his last breath already vacated. You walk over to the computer, plugging his nodes into the computer port and, after fumbling with the USB cord and your hair a bit, hook your mind up to the machine.

"SIR, THAT BITCH IS DOING SOMETHING!"

"FORGET ABOUT HER, WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NNNNnnnnnghh" the sergeant says as he pulls out a knife and stabs it into his gut, keeling over. The stormtroopers all look visibly shocked and start freaking the fuck out.

"""""OH MAN, WE CAN'T EVEN LEAVE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!!!"""""

Thanks to your machine bits, with a will you immediately boot up the transfer program.

"Ohaiyo! What would you like to do?"
>Wipe
>Copy

One of the stormtroopers points his ray gun at his head, saying "F-f-f-forgive me Aki, I'm not gonna be able to-"

When it looks like he's about to pull the trigger, his arms fall to his side. "Initiating 'Will of Heaven' protocol," he says, with a weird monotony in his voice.

The other stormtroopers calm down as well.

>Bail
>Defend

>>36531027
>Huh, guess Yumi's famous internationally as a jetfighter pilot of the JSDF or something.
Some of my jokes were not thought out with accuracy in mind. Ah well.

>Wipe
>Bail
Like hell I'm sitting around for Amaterasu to come and fuck shit up.

>>36531027
>Wipe
Loving Mori-Sensei was all a ruse.

>Defend what?

>>36531101
I voted for wipe, but Mori-Sensei was our daddy so shut your face.

>>36531126
Tee heheeh

I agree with you

File: Spoiler Image (624 KB, 320x240)

624 KB GIF

>>36531027
Forgot pic.

>>36531027
>Wipe
and
>Bail
Sounds bad. And since we aren't YandereYumi any more, sticking around is not a wise decision.

Oh yeah, I feel I should be more clear: Wiping can be done instantly, but copying/transferring will take some time.

But I'm gonna get a headstart on writing "Wipe" unless people vote against it.

>>36531371
All the more reason to Wipe, then.

>>36531089
>>36531101
>>36531309
The soldiers reload their guns, and begin firing at you once more. The sanctuary your wings provide you with deflects any shot from damaging you, the corpse, and the computer.

You glance at the Mori-sensei's face, a pained grin on fixed upon it. You consider copying his last moments with you in your mind, but think better of it, unplugging the USB cable from your noggin. That man already died, and even rejected your offer of second life. What he has left you is what he wished for you to carry on.

You click "Wipe," and then click "Yes" when it asks, "Nani? Are you certain? This cannot be undone. Proceed?"

You hear a buzz from the old man's being, your body safe thanks to your protected exoskeleton. Some parts of his body jump and jerk a bit, but eventually still.

Mori-sensei now has a peaceful smile on his face. Pulling the nodes off, you give your daddy a kiss on the forehead before setting him down on the ground.

"Raygun fire insufficient. Utilizing close-quarters combat procedure #11037," says a stormtrooper as he calmly charges at you with a combat knife.

>Roll 1d20, best of three, aiming high

>Fight
>Run

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>36531765
>Run
We don't need to hurt them, just defeat the Emperor and free their minds!

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36531765
>Fight
We got upgrades, this should go fine

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36531806
11 is nice, but we can do better.

Fight or run?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>36531847
And now we're equal, but we can go higher.

Rolled 8, 5, 17 = 30 (3d20)

>>36531894
Uhh... run?

These guys seem a bit different from before, and this place is about to explode anyways. With that in mind, you rush for your things, the trooper's knife slicing through the air like like lightning where you were at previously. Jeez!

You pick up your helmet, and reach out for your sword, but it comes flying to your hand instead. Neato.

Eyeing SH-3MP near you, currently stripping a stormtrooper of unnecessary limbs and organs, you walk over to him.

"Hit the button on his head," you hear, though it's more of a soundless thing.

Shrugging, you press the button among the many buttons on SH-3MP's head, and it pops right off his body. He floats up, and starts shooting the troopers with a laser beam coming from his one eye.

You move swiftly over to the stairs, SH-3MP drifting behind you, and note that your wings don't move like regular ones. There shouldn't be any wind here, but they're acting as though they're being buffeted by some force, not that you're complaining. The ray blasts chase you, tearing up a lot of the lab, not that it's going to mean much a few seconds from now

When you move up the stairs to the next level, you can hear one of the troopers below saying "Initiate 'Will of Heav" before the door shuts closed, one of their blasts having damaged its mechanism.

You arrive in Level 3's hallway, lots of spare parts and destroyed robots laying about in the hallway, as well as a few dead bodies. There are still some living ones who are surprised to see you, but they hold their hands up to their headsets as they try to make something out.

They start pointing their guns at you, and one of them gets out what look like grenades.

You think there should be about 10 seconds left on that countdown.

>Roll 1d20, best of three, aiming high

>Fight
>Run

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>36532575
Keep running!

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>36532775
Doop. Trying for something more respectable.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36532799
And once more. Anyone else playing?

Rolled 4, 16, 7 = 27 (3d20)

>>36532859
I am now. Just got back.

>>36532575
>Fight