>>37749134
a nigger robed you, go after him

>>37749147
I don't find realistic modern games all that appealing, either.

You play as a group of adventurers who are destined to roll a piece of marble worked to have 20 even sides over and over until exhaustion takes you.

>>37749134
You're a farmer in a land of peace where nothing happens, ever.

>>37749134
Your entire party, under geas, must tend to a quadriplegic burn victim for the rest of your lives.

Realistic dnd game

>>37749134

You're peasants. And will forever be. Nothing dramatic as in "daughter elopes with bastard son of the earl", either. Just...working the fields.

Heck, it probably works with any setting.

You play a group of adventurers that escort and protect the luggage of the very powerful, very beautiful and absolutely purest GMPC princess who is on a quest to save the world.

>>37749134

> "realism"
> "ivory tower game design"
> "system mastery"
> "hardcore game"

D&D

>>37749134
You are a nine-to-five office worker in an overdemanding underpaying job with no satisfaction. Forever.

>>37749134
A campaign with endless meaningless combat and nothing else, no form of noncombat interaction anywhere in any form.

So basically, any D&D campaign.

>>37749205
>>37749247
Joke's on you, I'd totally play this.

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>>37749134
"Guys, guys, guys.
Let's try an RPG were we play as our self... and let's do this in like real time. Like if you want to go in a place 5 minutes far away we interpret for 5 minutes..."

Based on a true story.

>>37749134
It's going to be an urban slice-of-life campaign following a band of recently laid off garbage men who lack higher education as they struggle with governmental bureaucracy to avoid deportation from Canada.

>>37749134
you're all Helen Keller

>>37749134
Create your characters using the 'awakened animal' rules, nothing over size: tiny. You're all going to be playing familiars of different NPC wizards.

Your PCs are all mid-level minions in a shit-tier retardedly ass backwards evil empire.
Dealing with retards higher up the chain who set impossible tasks that will do nothing but extend the evil beuracracy's life span a few more days against the encroaching forces of heroism.
Dealing with sociopathic minions who just can't get fucking anything right. Mind you, you don't actually go adventuring, you just organize/plan them and deal with trying to get funding from D'ungwhiz'le the 5th, dark lord of funds allocation.
No way to improve, killing higher ups just gets them replaced with someone even more inbred, chinless and arrogant, the only competent creature in the entire organization is the Overlord, who is half a world away in the Emperial capital.

>>37749134
Ok, so you're all tax attorneys...

You're playing young enterpreteurs running business overlaping over several countries.
The authorities are usually suspecting of you, for whatever reason, but you can't back out of the business because of the binding contrats you're already signed.
Therefore, you have to make sure all your paperwork in in perfect order. In each of the counties. Everything done and delivered on time, complying with ever-changing overlaping legislatives, beelining between unclear and often conflicting paragraphs.

I'd go into more detail but I'm past my 30 second and I'm pretty sure you get the general idea.

>>37749323
>Average session is something like helping Ezekiel raise a new barn and then sitting back to enjoy a cold cider and reflect on the virtues of hard work and a strong community.
Sounds glorious.

>>37749205
>>37749247
>nothing happens, ever.
Doesn't work. Not sure what kind of game you've been playing, but in an RPG, you don't NEED to spoon-feed plot to the PCs for stuff to happen. The PCs can damn well decide to do interesting things by themselves.

>>37749327
Can't beat that.

>>37749134
>This campaign was made by a first-time GM without prior knowledge of the system for the high school RPG Club.
>It's for D&D 3.0
>The GM wears all black, has long greasy hair and a peculiar way of speaking.

It was also the most fun campaign I've played, mostly due to the players not giving a shit about the GM and narrating things themselves.

>>37749134
You are ticket conductors on a magic train that goes from a large city to another large city. D&D 3.5, everybody is a level 3 Expert. Halfway to the other city, the train is attacked by flying zombie piranhas.

>>37749134
Hive planet ruler quest. Everything is fine and you can give any job you don't want to your staff. Tread 1&2 is just doing the "would you keep doing the job you've been doing now I'm in charge" thing.

>>37749414

"oh, wow, you build the barn, that's the best part of the game!"

Actually i think a farm-management could be done: but needs an improbable amount of drama. Heck, even if it really is some iyashikei thing.

>>37749384

So basically Paranoia?

>>37749134
>>37749134
you work in indonesian sulfur mines
roll to cough up blood JUST KIDDING YOU TAKE 10 ON THAT
roll to support your family DC 45
is that a monster? perhaps some forgotten treasure?
nah m8 more sulfur

>>37749495
No, I mean there's nothing stopping your PCs from picking up their farming implements, going to the largest nearby town and start planning a heist against the local nobleman's manor.

>>37749290

The ways in which you may interact with the world are severely curtailed.

In encounters where interaction is possible, you are either using an extremely limiting system of interaction for social actions or engaging in the violence of combat mechanics.

The rewards of social interaction are limited only to optional narrative. The rewards of violent interaction are experience and gold, turning every combat encounter into a piñata game where enemies are simply a vehicle for holding advancement points.

>>37749290
>>37749554
I'd play the hell out of this. In 4e.

>>37749592
Well, what else could you play in 4e?

>>37749495
How is building a barn not fucking awesome?

Your priorities are fucked.

>>37749613

It's not dramatic.

>>37749553

True, but I said "actual farmers". At the very least you'd have to point out that the guards will find trivial to catch them.

>>37749380
>playing a wizard's shoulder devil
Lolwut, you could make a whole game system out of that concept.
Give the wizards phenomenal cosmic power but little ambition. It's up to you to convince them to do anything naughty.

>>37749134
You're a bunch of game designers designing a new p&p rpg.

>>37749719
Addendum: All but one of you agree that 3.5 had poor game philosophy, and so that one guy does his damnedest to undermine everything everyone else pitches.

>>37749719
Using what system?

>>37749656
>It's not dramatic.
And everything needs to be?

>>37749779
d20 Modern

>>37749656
>At the very least you'd have to point out that the guards will find trivial to catch them.
That's what makes it a challenge.

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>>37749147
>robed you

and thus my wizarding career began

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>>37749134
It's on a boat.

>>37749795

Yes.Drama is everything in a RPG.

>>37749923
No, fun is.

That's not the same thing.

Roleplaying is about storytelling and there are shitloads of quality stories that have little to no drama.

It's just a matter of preference.

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>>37749134
Okay, we're going to have a shadowrun game, but I'm going to change a few things, as the people who made the game were clearly trying to advance the liberal agenda. After all, the increase in free trade and loss of government power should not make the world worse, and the only way people end up poor is if they don't work hard enough, so no-one should be "forced" into the shadows.
>>37749261
You do realize the first time ivory tower design was mentioned is Monte Cook's appology for 3.5, right?
>>37749607
If you're willing to roleplay and improv instead of needing rolls for everything when it comes to out of combat stuff, 4e is actually better than 3.x

>>37749345
Fuck you man I'd play that, that sounds hilarious.

>>37749923
Paranoia has a module based around questing to find a piece of paperwork. Drama is where you find it.

>>37749345
This is the beginning of a heist-comedy movie

You are lackeys to Arogan Burningstar, DM's amazing OC who goes to fight against his nemesis in an epic battle tos ave the universe. You get to watch Arogan fight firsthand in all his glory!!

>>37749948

I would very much like to play a game of L0 characters. Blacksmith, Baker, Apothecary, Priest, Town Guard, Street Urchin, Farmer... Just a whole bunch of civilians going up against civilian or slightly L1 tier problems.

you all meet in a tavern

>>37749134
You make a choice. If you choose the first, I shoot you with my crossbow in real life.. If you choose the second, we continue with this randomly generated dungeon, complete with generic enemies, no treasure, punishing traps, and starting at level 1.

We keep going until you chose the first option.

>>37749993
Should I max out my rabid applause or encouraging shouts skill?!

>>37749981

But Paranoia IS dramatic. Farmland saga here isn't, as OP asked for.

There aren't good rpgs nights without drama, simple as that. The problem might be that there are many kinds of drama.

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>>37749993

>>37750007
Such a game would be infinitely more enjoyable in a non-D&D system but I appreciate, and agree, with what you're saying.

>>37750079
>There aren't good rpgs nights without drama, simple as that.

Yes there are, I've had plenty. That you're incapable of having fun that way is your own damn problem, don't project it onto others.

>>37749134
The adventurers must apply for an adventuring license and wait 90 days before being allowed to explore the dungeon, and then must fill out their tax burden forms for the loot when they get back. Then they get audited and must defend their earning statements.

Failure at any step in punished with imprisonment where they must complete several accounting re-education courses before refilling the forms, paying a fine, and writing a personal apology to the kingdom. The twist was that imprisonment means they are ineligible for adventuring for two years, and must forfeit any profits they made.

The rulers and guards doing the imprisonment will have rule 0 plot armor.

>>37749717
no, not shoulder-devil-witch's-familiar, just, like, "Intelligent cat bound to person's soul".

>>37750269
"I roll to do all the paperwork."
"I wait two years."

D&D 3.5

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It's a setting where anything you want to happen, happen.


The campaign never start because the world is destroyed. Some chucklefuck thought "I wish this world didn't exist." before realizing his mistake.

I fucking told you guys I wasn't running Pathfinder.

>>37749134
You work in an office at a nine to five job and have to keep up sanity and happiness points to keep yourself from snapping at your boss, family, or coworkers, all while completing enough work with a high enough quality to not get fired.

If you continue to keep everything in check you can get promotions and positive relationships with the people around you and build a sense of satisfaction about your life.

If you cannot then you have the chance of getting fired and possibly rejected by the people you hold dear, such as your wife divorcing you, causing you to murder that bastard you once called a boss in a fit of rage causing you to go on the run and join a secret society who could use your office blood rage for their purposes, such as working for the CIA unofficially, becoming an underground fight club style brawler, or perhaps one of the many cults who will tell you they know the 'truth' each with their different message on life and the meaningful aspects of it, perhaps causing you to become a dark chosen one for their cause....... Or maybe you will just be a drunk bastard who hides in alleyways and drinks stolen booze crying to himself about his mediocrity always on the brink of suicide and insanity. The possibilities are endless... for someone who has lost everything.

OFFICES & OVERTIME.
EDITION ONE BITCHES.

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>>37749134
It's fours hours to midnight after which the deadline for reviewing your tax returns will expire, as part of a crack team working for Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs it's your job to track down those who miss the deadline and make them PAY A FINE!!!

If they refuse you may have to employ COURT PROCEEDINGS!!!

Which may result in FURTHER FINES!!!

If they are unable or unwilling to pay these fines you my have to CALL THE BAILIFFS and later read their report on how successful they were in setting up a payment plan or recovering good equal to the value of the debt.

All this and more in... Briefcases and Bureaucrats Edition 7.A-V!!!

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>>37749134
It's this movie I saw last night.
But with the elements of this one video game I really like.

>>37749345
This could go horribly right though. Imagine the escalation of the garbage men union clashing with the government, the city and the mafia.

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>>37750622

It's based on this new anime I really like.
And here's my DMPC.

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>>37750669
>He meant Jojo and his DMPC is the Speedwagon of the group

>>37749134
Everything is somebody's magical realm, son.

>>37750948
>"Anon why do we have to play 3.5?"
>N-no reason, I just like!
>tfw fetish for bad game design

>>37749384
This sounds cool, I would play it.

>>37749522
No, because in Paranoia you're a low-level grunt.

>>37749134
That one NPC you guys bullied becomes a school shooter.

>>37749345
Yeah, I'd be interested in playing that.

>>37750305
Well as an ex felon, good luck finding employment and suitable housing! I'd like to see a homeless man attempt to roll for licensing filing.

Plus, I will be tracking encumbrance based on what normal people are capable of carrying and will make sure the PCs are eating.

>>37749134

Protect the ugly annoying poor hobo: it's a timed game, where you have to drag this guy everywhere, he got no skill whatsoever, he doesn't want to help out, and now incorporating videogame RPG "protect" mission AI so that it will jump into his death at all moments and if he dies everyone loses levels/skills/equipment/stuff with no save!

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>>37749134
Steampunk Vampire VS Zombie Apocolypse - Katana Sunrise module

>>37751274
If this was a hyper aware parody of those things I'd be all over it.

>>37749134
We'll be using my Hombrew setting where all the races are awakened animals.

>>37751211
Oh and it'll be pathfinder core only with homebrew for balance. Starting level 1 15 point buy.

>>37749380
... this sounds awesome though

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>>37749134

You are all sales people in a fast paced product selling company and role-play on a day-to-day basis. Each month only one of you can get a promotion and/or bonus, and promotion credentials are based on a combination of sales $$$ made as well as being on good behavior.

Anything goes, including backstabbing each other and/or other co-workers if it means getting to the top. If you get fired, your PC is considered completely removed from the campaign and making a new PC means starting from the bottom of the ladder again. Romance is not allowed.

>>37750712
I actually did that once.

Combat was done by having the DMPC describe what was going on in bombastic voice

>>37749717
Someone already did do a game like that, Familiars. It's published by Ganesha Games, an Italian (I think) company.

>>37751328

You're all just playing the Cat Cthulhu game, then. Everyone plays cats that are trying to stop their owners from reading the Necronomicon or do summon demons or something. You do this by scratching them when they try to do things, meowing and distracting them, sitting on the books of ancient evil when they're reading, and generally just being cats doing cat things to save your owners.

>>37749134
"Only the dead have seen the end of War"

37749134
"Only the dead have seen the end of War"
Your party of soldiers decides to commit suicide to escape the grim reality of the batlefield and go into the afterlife (except that there is only nothingness and dissolution of the soul there).

>>37749717
It sounds like a minx between Time Wizards and Everyone is John

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>>37751191

>>37749380
Not only would I play that, I have tried to play that. I have repeatedly pitched the character concept of "I play a raven familiar, my attendant wizard is just a minion I order around like most people handle their animal companions", and got shot down
>>37749451
I might play that; Experts are customizable enough that characters could still be well differentiated, and there's probably a lot of cool shit you could find to fend off attackers on the train. I'd prefer it to be a bit higher starting level and with a better antagonist force than "flying zombie piranas", but I'd consider it.

>>37749986
Glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought of that, as well as already started planning the big heist.

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>>37751211
I'm going to become the mayor of this stinking town!

>>37751363
Glorious.

>>37751017
Certainly explains the enduring popularity of warhammer

>>37749134
Real life.

Alright guys I've been working on this fantasy book and I want to run you through the plot, but as a campaign!

I have premade characters for you, we're also using a homebrew system to ensure things properly follow the narrative. Story is very important.

Realistic game set in WWI, PCs are infantry.

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Party are all babies. Literal babies.

>>37751988
I give any fun group 20 minutes to turn it into Blackadder Goes Forth.

>>37752091
I think a Rugrats inspired game could be pretty cool

>>37749380
Sean?

>>37751360
I read that in Hank Hill's voice.

Still, I'm sure players would wind up in some kind of shenanigans as propane salesmen.

>>37749380
Hamtaro Time with Wizards?
Sign me up.

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>>37752905

Oh damn, now I'm hearing his voice while reading it too, and it's hilarious.

>>37749252
10/10 would parody the fuck out of

Okay, it's in D&D 3.5 with all possible splats and

aw shit I can't keep going. I vomited on myself in horror and i have to clean this up before it sets in.

>>37752905
I'm actually having bit of difficulty conceptualizing Hank Hill saying backstab

>>37754067
>Bahk stab(p).
High on the back, low and long on the stab.

Say a few Bobbehs until you get there.

>>37749134
You're all going to be playing monstrous Chaotic Evil assholes who hate each other. Start at level 20. The entire campaign will be you killing 1st-level commoners that are thinly veiled strawmen for all the people I hate.

(does that still count as magical realm? because I can't help but imagine the GM jerking off during each session)

Your party is brought in by GW to try to save the business but they answer every suggestion and attempt at reform with WE CAN 'T DO THAT!

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>>37749134

Here's the character sheet.

>>37749134
You're all aspiring wizards in an austere wizard academy. Sessions must be played in real time, no narrative timeskips allowed. Lessons are three hours of writing long.

>>37749134
The enemies are hobgoblins.

>>37749134
You're stuck in the Rubikon Maze. Only players who specifically stated they have some parchment and writing utensils are allowed to maps out the maze.

>"Bring me 100,000 wolf pelts"

>>37749356
I'm halfway there, it's pretty fun.

I can see but often fail to decipher what images appear to me, meaning I can't reliably identify people on sight, and will superimpose threats where a similar shape caught my eye.
Sometimes the audio hallucinations, which I can usually tell appart, drown out what I need to be paying attention to.
The divergence is that most of my hallucinations are tactile, so I can never really rely on groping around to identify my surroundings.

That sounds like an interesting challenge for a one shot

>>37749205
>what is Harvest Moon

>>37749134
You all play different roles in the court (none of which have any combat abilities, or are well past their prime in terms of physically fitness), the king having been married for 15 years but has yet to sire a son from his wife and has been pushing for a divorce for 2 years now. Your efforts to secure a legal divorce from the church have so far failed and the king is becoming inpatient, time is running out. Yep, your quest is to get the king a divorce.

>>37755035
Party developes a system for sistematic cloning and killing wolves. Druids ain't be happy.

>>37755143
Kill his wife

>>37755035
>wolf pelts have a 30% drop rate

>>37755143
Someone's been watching or reading Wolf Hall.

>>37749887
What's funny to me is that "robe" actually has an etymological connection to "robbed".

"robes" (roba, rauba) referred to the spoils of robbery; cue a bunch of romantic drivel in songs and stories about bandit princes "robing" their bandit princess, that is, making it rain; but also draping her in jewelry and cloth. You see, cloth was one of the most value dense objects before the invention of auto looms and spinners. A bolt of moderately fine cloth, even hemp, much less wool or linen, represented literal tens of thousands of effort. So it was one of the most notable and prestigious articles of theft. Close identification of booty with big spills of cloth eventually made them synonyms, and then the spoils of robbery meaning atrophied.

You're a party of lanscapers hired to do work in a new subdivision. You'll start on the first house on the left and go back and forth across the street until you're done. After you finish Shady Oaks you go to do the same thing in Meadow Hills. The worst thing that could happen is getting a sunburn or forming a callus. You're paid minimum wage and will eat PB&J on white with water for lunch everyday. You get no days off.

>>37755274
(I didn't say it'd be funny to anybody else.)

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>>37755172
>"Congratulations"
>"You win"

>>37755295
>Become a crack team of blue collar criminals, using landscaping as a cover for minor theft, identity theft, and, if the going gets rough, Mrs. Landover needs a begonia patch the size of a large man anyways...

Basically, given a fun group, any plot becomes fun.

>>37755274
>>37755320

I liked it

>>37750081
>why can't I hold all these speedwagons?

you work as tv license investigation squad and it's your job to to catch people not paying the license fee. Also note, you can't enter someones home without permission, you can't use force or intimidation, you don't have any sort of weapon, not even pepper spray, you are paid a low wage, and are expected to yield result by the end of the month.

>>37749134
My homebrew system offers all the fun and strategy of your favorite childhood games, like monopoly and candyland.

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You all play as workers in a chain grocery store. The district manager is coming later today, so the managers are scrambling to have the store in tip top shape otherwise she'll reprimand them. So you're going to have to do extra work around the store to clean the place up. Not only that, but there's been a storm warning, so all the elderly are stocking up on food for the next three weeks, so you'll have to try and keep the lines moving while people are purchasing $200 worth of groceries. Sounds like fun right?

"We're playing Deadlands."
"Yay!"
"You're all Confederates, and this is going to be the game where we make the South rise again!"
"What?"

>>37755035
>"Bring me 100,000 wolf pelts"

>Not "Bring me 100 nazi scalps"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SF-iGTocZPA&feature=youtu.be&t=2m17s

"ok guys it's a sandbox game where I don't have anything prepared you decide what to do" and the GM has a terrible imagination and hates fun

>>37756511
Shit, meant to have that clip start at 2:17

>>37749958
I'd totally play this. Fuck Shadowrun, and cyberpunk in general, for their thinly-veiled commie agenda that ignores reality for the sake of their stupid wankfest against capitalism.

>>37749134
aSoIaF set on Earth The seven kingdoms are made up of North and South America. Tech level old west.

>Why unappealing?
Could you imagine all the fucking work it would take to get a campaign like that up and running with maybe two people playing it?

>>37756560
That doesn't sound horrible at all to play.

>>37749134
Involves any of the following, even without magical realm ongoings
>Furries
>Ponies
>Sonic the Hedgehog
>Anthropomorphism of any kind really

aka how to make everyone uncomfortable without technically doing anything explicitly wrong

everyone is Lawful Good. even the BBEG and the NPCs.

EVERYONE.

>>37757358
you and everyone you play with is really immature

A sorcerer cursed you and your party with constipation so you have to venture out in search of magical laxatives before your bowels burst.

>>37757549
So like a weird game of L5R?
>>37757358
>>37758055
I don't know that can be pretty horrible, but someone can make it playable. If they try hard.
>>37756689
No but making it would suck.

Here is one setting that's unplayable without magical realm
A game based on homeworld.
A game of thrones set in modern times
"All the players are ____ in a _____ but it's really ____" or any TWEEST game.

I am a squid and had my ink sac stolen. Return it to me and I will give you all the ink you will ever need.

>>37759311

> L5R
> Lawful Good

>>37759351
>Hewlett Packard fantasy equivalent exists in this setting
>Ink is worth more than blood

I'd play this campaign. Does it culminate in the PC's taking ye olde printing press out in a field and beating it with clubs?

Your party must tend to the morbidly obese that enter their hospital.

You lost your house keys and you have to find or replace them

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>>37759311

your group is lost in a constant state of dimensional flux. You are currently stranded on the bathroom realm. The next realm will be the couch realm.

We are doing an accounting simulation. there is no character customization. the players aren't allowed to talk.

You are all petty thugs and pettier crooks with no money and shitty Saturday Night Special guns. You will not gain XP. You live in Gotham, a horrible wretched hive of a city where criminals rule and normal, innocent people suffer every day. You work under one of the local crime bosses, Oswald Cobblepot, and he fucking owns the police, so if you try to run or squeal, you will die. Lately, though, there have been rumors about some fucking clown running around, and other rumors about a giant bat that kills criminals at random. You don't believe that crap, but others do, and hey, it means more work for you. What could go wrong?

>>37749451
The plot of Pitch Black.
>>37750007
The plot of Canterbury Tales.
>>37749993
The plot of Star Wars: A New Hope.
>>37750566
The plot of Fight Club
>>37751191
The plot of Fast Times at Columbine High
>>37751273
The plot of Live Free or Die Hard
>>37751360
The plot of Glengarry Glen Ross
>>37751988
The plot of All Quiet On The Western Front
>>37754419
The plot of Wall Street
>>37754706
The plot of Harry Potter
>>37754847
The plot of Cube

You play as an unnaturally normal commoner.
You live an uneventful and normal life and as a matter of fact, it's because the universe bends itself yo make your life the most plain possible.

>>37749134
Playing as highschoolers in a normal modern setting.

>>37755143
The plot of Tudors
>>37755295
The plot of that one subplot in The Wire
>>37756511
The plot of... oh, you got that already
>>37759351
The plot of Spongebob Squarepants
>>37759512
The plot of What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
>>37760218
The plot of Brazil

>>37760901
>>37761111
Do you have brain problems

>>37761149
The plot of Memento

>>37750177
No there aren't, you just keep using words you don't understand.

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>>37761331

>>37761331

Well played.

A game about the lives of trees, played out in real time.

>>37749134
You go from tavern to tavern, gathering with other adventurers and receiving quests, but never getting around to actually going on them.

Welcome to the Land of the Eternal Introduction!

>>37749134
you work at the DMV

>>37761798
"I'll trust you, elf.... for now..."

>>37749134
You are a courier. You must deliver this box to this man who lives at this place, X miles away from here. And no, you cannot open the box.

>>37762025
The plot of Fallout: New Vegas.

>>37760901

>The plot of Glengarry Glen Ross

Never even watched or knew a movie like this existed.

>*AreYouAWizard.jpeg intensifies.*

>>37749134
There is a box that we want opened. We do not know what's inside of it. It is up to you to figure out how to open it. The method in which you open the box doesn't matter, and any resources used to attempt to open the box you is on your budget. And whatever you do, do not let the box get stolen.

>>37749401
I actually have a cyberpunk campaign idea that starts that way. You are trying to get mega corps to pay taxes. They are uncooperative and need convincing.

>>37749134
SO you guys will be playing my HILARIOUS Drow Princess servants as she goes out and convinces every other nation to take up the drow way of life, then she's going to remove all the men to get rid of war, You guys dont have to do much, i've already got most of the story written, i just need the guards perspective, then when i turn it into a book you can say you were part of it, oh, and my little brother/sister will be playing my body guard, s/he thinks that screaming monkey at people is the be all end all in comedy and he is paying a kender rouge.

OH and im a half vampire, half demon, half angel, half werewolf, half ghost, half god, with heterochroma.

no you cant leave, i've put butter on the door handle, get back into your RP box and pass me the Cheetoes and your dice, you wont need them.

>>37749252
> not wanting to play Male Harem Quest
wut r yew, sum kinda fagit?

>>37749134
The war is in 1 week, and the armoury is all dusty and rusted from neglect.
Can you and your companions clean the equipment in time?

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>>37749147

You and your players are captured during a quest and forced to become slaves. You never escape. After being put up for sale you are forced to work at a gay brothel, cleaning up cum off the floors and hand washing all of the sheets.

>>37764414
>After being put up for sale you are forced to work at a gay brothel, cleaning up cum off the floors and hand washing all of the sheets.
This is the exact opposite of a bad end.

>>37749134
The party is a family/tribe/squad/etc., of [insert race from campaign here] and the campaign consists of your group's day to day activities.

>>37749134
You play the entire campaign as the enemies of a band of adventurers. You absolutely cannot win any battles, but you have to fight them, anyways.

>>37749134
You walk through the town and speak to the king. He tells you that there's a dragon in the mountains and you need to go kill it. You accept this quest, kill the dragon, and become heroes.

Campaign over. Choo choo.

>>37749656
Even with a generic "farmer" character, average stats all round and no particular skills, the players still have die rolls and the table wide disappointment of a TPK to keep them alive and fucking around.

Can't incite a riot? They go to the next town and try again.
Get thrown in jail? They take twenties on trying to bend the bars.
Get into a fight? They run. Farmers are going to have at least above average endurance, if not adventurer level.
Somehow manage to do something that would get them killed without any way out? Unless the GM fiats, "Great. We can play a better game, now."

The world is a peaceful place full of helpful monsters, flexible diplomats, and caring individuals.

>>37756216
Literally anything can be fun when all you have to do is decide and roll a die.

You people are thinking of things that aren't fun IN REAL LIFE.

>>37764579
isn't this Boss Monster?

>>37749411
>Go hang out with Plague of Gripes and laugh about that time that rich guy's farm flooded.

>>37749134
FATE

>>37765133
FATAL. You play a pack of niggers out to steal everything that's not nailed down and if you can pry it loose, it doesn't count as nailed down. Try not to get shot by the po-lice, cause they heard you guys raped a blonde white chick, and you gonna get shot sixteen times in the back resisting arrest if you so much as smile at another white bitch or if a cop sees you. Get stealing, niggers!

>>37752091
>>37752172
Among the Sleep.

>>37749134
We're going to play this awesome new game i found called F.A.T.A.L!

>>37749134
You're walking in the woods, there's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him (Shia Labeouf)

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>>37765610
I shouldn't have laughed, I knew what was coming.

You're all playing chakats and I premade your characters.

>>37765311
OP said no magical realm.

>>37749134
Campaign set in the USSR where everybody plays a peasant
>Life is awful
>There are no great beasts or hidden magics, they all died years ago
>There is not sense of danger or excitement, just a slow trudging walk towards wasting death
>You have only one knife, and it is too dull to kill yourself with.

"We're doing a bit of freeform roleplay. The party will be open and anyone can join and volunteer to DM. How great is that!"

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>>37766084
Do we at least get to work on the moose domestication program?

>>37761926
Is it in Jersey?

Your characters are playing Monopoly, we will simulate this with a 3.5 homebrew I've been working on.

You are a nail in Ancient Rome around 33 AD.

>>37766193
The Moose spirits have already been broken.

>>37766235
But a D20 is too random, instead we use 3d6+2, and movement involves quadratic equations for maximum realism.

>>37766646
What are you talking about? Of course we're using the money on free parking rule

"Steampunk post-apocalyptic dungeon delving" is m three least-favorite things, but put together it actually sounds kinda cool.

You are a broke homeless man living in South Dakota.
Your goal is to buy some shoes.

>>37766665
Also, you can only auction off properties if you're broke.

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>>37765086
Will we have to talk about duck penises?

Or that creepy sex thing?

>>37753968
>implying core only 3.5 wouldn't be infinitely worse

You are the head of Tony Abbott's PR department.

>>37749134

you are in a white room and have to fill forms.

that's it.

>>37749554
So a video game RPG

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>>37767796
Yes.

>>37749134
Safety procedures the RP, we're roleplaying proper evacuation protocol, handling emergencies and first aid.

>>37767796
regular or reverse mermaid?

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>>37762633
Are you Grace?

>>37749134
You have been hired to kill rats in someones basement

>>37768644
pfft

>>37768644
Well I have that screencap somewhere

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>>37762633

>I put butter on the door handle

>>37749134
"So you're high schoolers at a fantasy school where they train you to fight as well as normal subjects"

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>>37749205

>implying this game wasnt the best

>>37749134
Real Housewives the RPG

>>37755143
How does this in any way sound unfun to you? This sounds fucking awesome.

>>37761798
>Every night is dark and stormy
>Unless it's a festival, in which case it's hot or cold, but beautiful all the same

Okay, so you know like diablo or whatever? We're playing a dungeon crawl like that, only in gurps with none of the roleplaying or fluff. Oh and I've made this random character generation houserule, making a character only takes two days this way and is much more exciting.

Most of these ideas are actually fantastic ways to start campaigns.

What the fuck is wrong with you people that you throw out the best ideas as horrible?

>>37762046
The plot of the Transporter

1d4 down the line, reroll 4s.

>>37768632
Explain this.

>>37749134
Roll a d20. Whoever rolls the highest is DMing a game in a high school students bedroom. The rest of the party are players.

The party is entirely fa/tg/uys

the goal? win an internet argument

>>37749134
He's a Space Marine.

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>>37749134
you play as a french dragoon in Napoleon's 1812 invasion of Russia.

>it goes well at first
>after moscow burns and your army is on the retreat
>cossacks everywhere
>army in desperate rout
>horses all dead or eaten
>people getting crushed trying to cross bridges
>yells of COSSACKS!
>panic and half frozen corpses
>unburied dead from the battles leading into the campaign, stomachs bloated and flies and lice everywhere.
>so cold
>no food
>pain and suffering everywhere
>become steeled to the suffering of others
>pass peasants dying and give no fucks
>feel nothing
>COSSACKS!
>eventually limp back into france, all your friends dead and your ego smashed.
>so tired
>kill self

>>37749898
I DMed a pirate game that rebooted halfway through so we didn't have to sail anymore. This guy knows whats up.

>>37750626
>and the mafia.
Why the fuck would the Mafia get involved?

I want to know what the hell the garbage men did..

Dungeons and dragons
everything is combat
it is against the same npcs every time, with a vague plot
the GM has a sammer so massive it takes him around 20 seconds to speak a single sentence

We're going to be playing in the 40k setting, using a modified version of D&D 4e

>>37749134
A realistic dark souls d20. Roll anything other than a 19 or 20, you're damaged. Roll anything below a 15, you die.

>>37749134
"We're going to play D&D"

>>37757358
>Sonic the Hedgehog
You know, the irony of the Sonic fandom and the cringe-worthy OCs they produce is that they often veer pretty close to Sonic's original concept. The first mock-ups of him, as received from Sega Japan, gave him fangs, a spiked collar, an electric guitar, and a girlfriend with huge tits, named Madonna. It was only when Tom Kalinske and his team at Sega of America reworked the character into the family-friendly mascot he became that the tryhard elements were dropped.

Considering the proclivities of the fandom, though, maybe Sega of Japan was onto something with their first draft.

>>37749134
Traveller, but you're stuck on an uninhabited planet with no equipment or ship.

the fact that the whole universe is out there doing stuff and having fun would taunt you as you bake and die in the sun.

>>37770209
So... dying during character creation?

>>37770264
No, because your slow but inevitable death in a backwater world empty of conflict, danger, or pleasure would be played out

one

day

a

session

>>37749134
Accountant Quest.

>>37770353
Sounds like a Pitch Black game. I can dig it.

>>37749134
Pathfinder's Kingmaker campaign retooled for 4th edition D&D where everyone has to play a human with no access to Mythic levels.

>>37749134
"Guys we're going to play this system which is an adaptation of Ragnarok Online."
>GM proceeds to implement the actual drop and xp rates
>GM also implements the respawn times
>Also implements other players as NPCs
>"The creatures you're looking for are nowhere to be seen, it seems they're being systematically hunted by people who only respond to with with "gtfo noob huehuehuehue"
>"Since we play on weekends you'll always miss WoE, which happens on Wednesdays, no guild wants you because of that"
>NPCs who are on guilds are getting significantly ahead of you and farming areas where you needed to go very effectively to the point that the only way you can make some progress is to stick to killing low level monster to acumulate cash so you can buy the NPCs 30 million zenny items you need to take on sub-optimal areas where the rewards aren't that good but the critters are tough as shit.

>>37770203
That's almost as awesome as if we found out that Eario was closer to the original Mario.

>>37749411
>Random encounter, a lightning storm rolling in while the buffalo are out on the pasture! You and your family must round them up in the storm before anything bad happens!

>>37749656
>Barn building
>Not dramatic
Man, you haven't built shit, have you?

>>37765086
Does Plague actually live on a farm?

>>37749134
Deathwatch Campaign ran by Matt Ward

>>37749134
You are all mormons that are in the afterlife, there's nothing to do but talk.

>>37764478
That could be fun.

>Grogar, my brother, the tribe of Broken Spear has sent word that they will come and take our grain storage! What shall we do?

>>37766799
I'd totally play a literal hobo quest.

Imagine it, you get different skillsets depending on background and set yourself a "goal" upon character creation. When you achieve that goal you gain a level and pick another skill. This goes on until you are off the streets.

Meanwhile you have to content with rival gangs of hobos and other petty crims, along with hunger and disease. Maybe you'll be lucky and make a friend in "proper" society.

>>37768483
Regular, obviously. They would have vaginas like Dolphins.

Anyone who doesn't realize this obvious fact is a complete fool and not a man of taste and education.

>>37771388
Contend, not content. Imagine finally coming across a dumpster with some uneaten chinese food and having to defend it from a rival bunch of vagrants.

>>37749134
You're playing in Faerun.

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>>37762633
>i've put butter on the door handle
...

Good thing there are windows to jump through.

>>37749134
You are a Transotherkindemisexual and staunch advocate of LGBTQOPD rights. You must smash the patriarchy of a heterosexual, homophobic, CIS fantasy kingdom.

>>37771645
brb, homebrewing social justice warrior class

>>37762633

>rouge

This is what got me, oddly enough.

>>37750079
>Farmland saga
You better not be talking the shit i think you're talking

>>37771503
Murdered out windows, two exits: street or nosedive to the next life in seconds. And suicide ain't your stallion. So you're surrounded.

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>>37771658
>>37771645
>Paladin, Oath of Social Justice

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>>37771687
I laughed

Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37771726
That door's gotta go then.

Rolling to break through my prison cell!

>>37771761
thanks, i went looking for this image but couldn't find it

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>>37771931
.....RNG WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

All party members are pacifists.

Not 'technical pacifists', mind you, but straight-up 'literally-wouldn't-hurt-a-fly' pacifists.

>>37769031
That was the plot of a greentext about a lesbian named Grace I think, it has been a while so I could be wrong.

>>37749134
>You have thirty seconds to give me the most unappealing campaign pitch you can imagine, WITHOUT incorporating anything Magical Realm.

You play a group of Librarians attempting to supplant the Dew Decimal system world wide with 'something more logical'.

You play a group of school teachers writing yearly lesson plans for various K - 12 class levels. Hard mode - kids can't be bored to death. God mode - write it all the last week of summer vacation.

>>37769952
Waste Management and the Italian mafia are already pretty tight. I could see them sticking their nose into anything garbage men do.

>>37749134
do your taxes (without a calculator). roll initiative

MAID RPG played straight.

I know you guys are getting a bit tired of 3.5, so I found something new to try. It's called From Another Time, Another Land.

>>37771344
We gather our men and raid them first Krag! Steal their grain AND their women, and show them thr might of the Brokentooth Clan!

>>37749134
A people without songs, legends, or even words for colors have appeared on your borders because all of their neighbors are trying to kill them.

You must convince them to leave without being repulsed by their alien non-ways.

>>37749134
Okay, before we generate characters, I wanted to do a roleplay exercise. You're all bowls of milk, and a cat is approaching.

>>37749345
And the system is paranoia.

>>37749288
Ah, so it's time to go postal and live an exciting life of crime.

>>37749407
This could be played, but only if the GM puts in the work.

I'd totally play a whirlwind global adventure of a corporate paperman, meeting new and interesting and new and boring people everywhere.

And if all else fails I can just go postal.

>>37749401
>>37762609
Given a choice between the IRS or a cyberpunk megacorp, I'd go with keeping the IRS happy.

>>37762633
Sorry, the OP said WITHOUT going magical realm.

>>37749993
I was, for a very short time, part of this campaign almost exactly.

>>37749134
"To win this campaign you can't kill anything and you have to work together."

>>37749345
Ah, I see you are a fan of socialist realism.

>>37783261
The system? Paranoia.

>>37769551
Sounds like a good round of Only War, would play.

>>37755811
This would be good for a challenging one-shot.

>>37783261
That can be cool if done properly, especially with a party of characters set up for it. There's lots of ways to fuck over a target without getting into killing them. Non-lethal traps, social stuff, subdual damage and whatnot if you even end up needing to fight at all.

It certainly would require players that were capable of the mindset needed for it. I'm not sure I could be one of them, but I'd fucking love to WATCH.

>>37761012
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interesting_number_paradox

>>37766184
Tell us more.

>>37766289
Go on...

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>>37771645
>implying I don't do this in real life.

>>37774434
JAIN QUEST!

The adventures of DMPC and his merry band of lackeys.

Oh wow, everyone's here? Sorry guys, I didn't prepare anything this week, but we can watch the Superbowl instead.

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>>37784663
I'm ok with this.