Staring a thousand yard stare at a completely random tree as if it had told you water displacement didn't work with ice cubes, you think you might have blew it. You can never EVER go back there. It's not like you want to live in the jungle, hell you're going to die here. It's not even that they wouldn't let you come back.

You just really, REALLY don't want to show your face there.

>Give up and find another place that might possibly have shops and flushable toilets.

>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.

>Wade through your neck deep spaggetti and go back to the mining outpost.

>Previously on nerdy snake waifu quest: https://archive.moe/tg/search/tripcode/%21Me.qpOlLW2/type/op/


This twitter thing everyone's talking about - https://twitter.com/DrUnorigional

Difficulty: This crappy quest will have a difficulty setting that you can change at any time if you so wish, just ask, use it tactically.

>Easy mode: (Half XP) You get 5 dice rolls, best roll taken, the entire world is sunshine and rainbows. Only lasts for 5 in game story posts.

>Normal (defult): (Normal XP rates and encounters.)You get 3 rolls, best dice taken.

>challenging: (Double XP!) You only get 2 rolls, best of 2.

>Hard mode: (Triple XP and more loot.) You get 2 rolls but we use an average instead of the best one. Bad luck comes your way and shit is getting perilous, pray to the dice gods for mercy.

>Punishing: (Quadruple XP and allot of cool stuff just left lying around. )You only got one shot, make it count. 1 roll. Enemies are written as more competent/ better equipped, E.G if encountered then regular wolves will become larger dire wolves ect. You may get your shit pushed in.

>Nightmare mode: (10 times exp) Awww shit son u gon die. The worst of 3 rolls is taken, the world shifts to grimdderp and bad things happen. You can't turn it off for 10 in game posts.

Fate point: QM steals from khornette quest because he is a filthy hack, you can reroll one dice per session. Only once, and use that instead.

Dub rolls = +30
Trip rolls = +90

>Current level = 7
>Difficulty = Challenging.
XP: current/total = level.
For example. 35 exp collected vs a 60 for evolution = level 58

Every 25 levels you get some kind of passive perk that might have an effect on your next evolution. Whatever you choose gets strengthened as and if you evolve.

Experience is given via difficulty and is relative. Remember to use the difficulty setting tactically, you can't raise it until after the fight is over.

>Mundane = 1 or even 0 XP. Shit like killing insects or knitting.
>Easy: 1-3 EXP, picking a lock or successfully hunting small prey.
>Medium: 5-10 EXP hunting larger prey that can fight back but really can't win.
>Challenging: 10-25: Shit that can fight back but not exactly life threatening.
>Threatening: 25-50 Something that could very well kill you and puts up a fair fight. 1V1 me faggot.
>Deadly: 50-100+ a (much?) larger/stronger opponent that may have the odds stacked in their favour

>>38790135
>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.

Wallow then follow

>>38790135
>>Wade through your neck deep spaggetti and go back to the mining outpost.

She both needs this and hasn't suffered enough

>>38790135
>>Wade through your neck deep spaghetti and go back to the mining outpost.
Social interaction is bad... being beaten to death by shit monkeys is worse...

Also unfortunately the story of "Magical dicks fall, everybody dies" apparently does not constitute a smut bad end... oh well...

>>38790135
>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.

I've been waiting for this since the last thread ended. Spaghetti snake best snake.

>>38790135


>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.

>Wade through your neck deep spaggetti and go back to the mining outpost.

We gotta have civilization. Maybe we can skirt by having to talk to THOSE guys, but we really should if we can get up the mustard. Otherwise, village.

>>38790253
I WILL SEE YOU SATURDAY MOTHERFUCKER

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>38790299
>>38790283
>>38790207

>>38790213
>>38790253
>>38790299

Solid snek? Damn you indecisive anon I really wanted to make that pun.

Need a tie breaker.
1 is solid snek
2 is spaghetti snek

>>38790135
>Wade through your neck deep spaggetti and go back to the mining outpost

>>38790135
>>Wade through your neck deep spaggetti and go back to the mining outpost.
This is a jungle, right? Can we find a leaf of sufficient size to cower behind?
I am aware that we aren't tiny.

>>38790173
>>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.
And turn it into
>Easy mode: (Half XP) You get 5 dice rolls, best roll taken, the entire world is sunshine and rainbows. Only lasts for 5 in game story posts.

Don't want to fuck this up again. and scar our MC.

>>38790353
Fuck you man I did my best, I blinded myself reading ovipostion smut JUST for you and it was horrifying... spiders are not supposed to work like that jesus christ! Why? Just why?

>>38790378
Meant for it to be
>>Wade through your neck deep spaghetti and go back to the mining outpost.
But still easy mode so we don't scar ourselves.

>>38790135
>>Watch from the bushes, follow them and attempt to find out where they live so you can hopefully make a better introduction there.

>>38790378
Fuck no normal is our lowest.

>>38790392
Hue you dug your own grave.

>>38790353
Did HUE ever write that smut?

>>38790392
Sounds like someone's just being a faggot

>>38790253
Gib spider rape

Pay debts

>>38790406
THE BASTARD COULDN'T EVEN DESCRIBE WHAT ORIFICE THE DIES EX MACHINA PENIS WENT INTO

>>38790435
Snakes have clocoas, so y not both? Also, link?

>>38790478
here>>38774577

A COMPLETELY PATHETIC ATTEMPT TO APPEASE MY YELLING

>>38790358
Can we wear some leaves this time?
It might help us not freak out.

>>38790392
>>38790253
WHERE IS MY SMUT, HUE?!

(Yeah, you've got two shouty anons on your ass.)

Is it bad that I keep hoping Mothia Guy will run a moth quest for us?

I mean I know there are 3 RE: Monster quests but come on prohibition monster mobsters

>>38790535
>>38790511
Shout anons please. You are using up valuable thread space. Hue will deliver, he better or else.

>>38790569
He is going to add a bit more next RE: Monster quest, he apparently left a bunch of stuff out that he thought he said.

>>38790135
You let out a deep sigh, face set into a grimace as you think out your current mess, all alone outside in a jungle filled with giant spiderbutts and devolved shit flinging skeletor ripoffs, and not a microchip in sight. You're not sure you can go another day without your shitty yoai hentai...

You really have no choice, you could just follow them back home but they'd tell everyone about you in any case. You're fucked no matter what so you might as well go with the option that doesn't involve potential oviposition and being digested inside a spider-silk sack... There has to be a way to rationalize this... they think you're a kid right? kids get some lenience when they act retarded... right? That though trails off into all the potential ways you could milk being a child again...

You think maybe you're just putting off going considering you've standing there thinking about how much nicer your childhood was before you developed various neurosis's. Looking up the sun seems to be on it's downward march, it's past mid day. You could probably blow a few hours not hemorrhaging spaghetti from every orifice.

>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80

>Find a bite to eat because you're feeling kinda starved.

>Just get it over with and maybe you'll have a roof to sleep under by the time night comes.

>write in?

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>38790637
>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80
>>Find a bite to eat because you're feeling kinda starved.

Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>38790637
>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80

>Find a bite to eat because you're feeling kinda starved.

>>38790637
>Find a bite to eat because you're feeling kinda starved.

Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>38790637

>>38790569
>but come on prohibition monster mobsters
The main magic is in it happening solely by the drive of the players and coming so out of the left field, I think.
Repeating it would reduce it.

>>38790571
IIRC snake quests don't run into bumplimit anyway.

>>38790637
>>Just get it over with and maybe you'll have a roof to sleep under by the time night comes.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>38790637
>>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80
Its canon now... fuck you all...

>>38790637
>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>38790637
>Find a way to clothe yourself 1d100vs a 80
We'd better find something

>>38790650
>>38790662
I have bad news anon. You can't even into clothes.

>>38790392
See
>>38790426
Dr.HUE plz.

>>38790637
>>Find a bite to eat because you're feeling kinda starved.
Find our croc and attempt #2

>>38790569
>>38790616
>>38790684

I will run a quest for /tg/ the same day I know my players stop visiting

>>38790711
We should really go back to normal (default), challenging mode is killing us.

But Such is life. Naked Snake is a go, as always.

>>38790671
not bad an 86.

>>38790781
We're challenging, best of 2.

>>38790781
>>38790781
Too late tho, we're on Challengin.

>>38790650
>>38790662
>>38790666
>>38790692
>>38790702
>>38790703
>>38790742
Clothing and fast food it is. Writing

>>38790711
Guys can we put this into easy or what.
>>38790800
>>38790794
realized it later

>>38790815
So our attempt at clothing is leaves stuck on with mud?

>>38790832
What? It's like you want to succeed or something.
Stupid namefag

>>38790832
No, this is fun.

>>38790832
Succeeding at everything isn't fun.

>>38790832
Normal at lowest.

>>38790832
The lowest we are willing to go is normal, also take the name off.

I do think it should reset to normal between threads, or at least have ot in the first post to set pur difficulty.

>>38790845
More likely we just don't find anything. Clouthing ourselves with mud and leaves sounds more like a 10 .

File: tripcodeadvice.webm (2.53 MB, 1280x720)

2.53 MB WEBM

>>38790832

>>38790935
They can fall off for maximum spaghetti

>>38790637
>>Just get it over with and maybe you'll have a roof to sleep under by the time night comes.
Just... go bother them, tell them you need a place to stay, and then stare at the fucking ground.

>>38790948
But it would only be funny if it happened in front of someone else, and we're alone again anon.

>>38791013
That's his point, we put on leaves and mud and they fall off when we reach the humans.

>>38791013
>Cake our bits with leaves and mud to hide our shame
>Find people
>Mud dries while we are talking
>Falls off due to scaly muscles.

Seems pretty straight forward to me anon.

>>38791013
>>38790948
obviously, they'd fall off mid conversation.

>>38790943
I like this.
>>38790868
>>38790854
>>38790890
>>38790898
>>38790906
I am fine with normal. Just seems like its more damaging then beneficial.
Its more about not having our main character work on not having mind crippeling panic attacks in certain situations.
And being able to talk to other, in general.
Best for short and long term. But meh only one guy. Could lead to something interesting not being able to have a conversation with people.Possibly monsters?

They are miners right? In order to impress them we should give a pickaxe a go and show off our versatility. What's the worst that could happen?

>>38790370
>The jungle
>No fun and games

>>38791122
I am actually kind of hoping they offer to let us mine in exchange for bacon and eggs.

>>38790637
Well there's still plenty of time to burn before you have to bite the bullet, blushing you can't quite believe you forgot you were naked last time you slithered right up to them in full view, might as well do something about it.

You're slowly starving to death in the middle of the jungle, so naturally your first course of action right now should be to acquire clothing so you can hopefully fit in to human society as a freak show or circus attraction and earn a living doing that instead of dying from exotic jungle STD's after crawling around in rancid animal feces. It is a good plan.... you think. But you haven't got the first clue how to make a set of clothing, but luckily you read lots of manga. All you need to do is make a leaf bikini out of leaves and plant fibers and you'll be set.

You pick out a leaf and gormlessly stare at it for a short while before sticking it to your nipple... you're making progress.

-2 hours later-

As it turns out dead sticks caked in mud and resin do not make a valid substitute for string, and leaves make utterly shit fabric. The end result is a sticky mess caked across your torso that holds if you stay perfectly still, you honestly don't know why you took it this far when you knew it wasn't going to work from the offset. If anything you guess you might just be subconsciously procrastinating, you shrug and instantly flinch as the structure covering your chest and not your back falls apart like a melting stick of butter carried by an autistic child on a hot summers day. This was a complete waste of time, and now you're covered in a sticky biological substance. It's almost like a literally average day in your life.

Regardless your stomach tells you that next on the menu is breakfastdinner.

>Go find that crocodile baby you partially ate then vomited back up.

>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50

I've been told I've dug myself a very deep grave and I should probably just cut my losses, but instead I shall struggle for you... and probably end up making an ass of myself and/or writing pure autism.

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>38791175
>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50

>>38791175
>Go find that crocodile baby you partially ate then vomited back up
Find miners ask for them to help you cook it.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>38791175
>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50

>>38791175
>>Go find that crocodile baby you partially ate then vomited back up.
Didn't we vote to go back to the miners though?

>>38791175
>>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50

>>38791175
>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50
That crocodile didn't taste that great

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>38791175
>New fast food

>>38790906
>difficulty should be reset between threads
That might be an idea actually.

>>38791184
Maybe we won't starve this thread after all. We might still get eatin though.

>>38791212
Yeah we did but right now our nerves are getting the best of us so we are procrastinating. We have crippling social anxiety, like most people who spend copious ammonts of time alone in the dark looking at manga playing Dark Souls and browsing @Chan.

Dont worry anon the spaghetti will flow. After all the ride just started.

>>38791212
You did, but tomo- I mean Katie is procrastinating.

>>38791236
>>38791232
>>38791227
>>38791195
>>38791184
Fast food it is, writing.

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>38791175
>Find an entirely new fast food item. 1d100 vs a 50
New meats!

>>38791179
SO LONG AS I AM ENTERTAIN/CAN FAP YOUR MISSION WILL BE ACOMPLISHED

>>38791175
You briefly consider going for that crocodile but honestly it's too close to the miners and that would defeat the purpose of procrastination. You haven't eaten in a day or too and you're starting to feel like you did that time you almost starved to death.... dear god you hate this place. But at least it takes your mind off the suffering that is to come.

You take off sluggishly through the brush listening to the various animals calls and letting your mind wonder in directions that aren't related to the dropping of spaghetti, mostly obscure manga crackships. The fact that your only procrastinating is hanging over your head like a research assignment you have to hand in the next day, and the accompanying dread that comes with it, good news is you're learning to tactically disassociate yourself from the embarrassment, where were you again?

You blink heavily as you suddenly forget where you were going or doing.... OH right . You were going to go kill something and eat it raw like an savage animal. Scanning around you hear grunting nearby, further investigating (I.E popping your head through a bush and staring gormlessly with maybe a few instances of snakey tongue slithering). Out in the clearing you see furry bacon- you mean wild boars, your mouth begins to water and the psychotic entity you've dubbed snake-chan emerges from wherever the fuck it sleeps when it isn't time to ruin yours and other peoples days. It's bacon time bitches.

Hunting a bunch of wild boars.

>Take on that big one with tusks, he looks like hot shit, maybe the rest will fuck off after you murder him.

>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40

>Casually drive by snatch a piglet for a quick snack 1d100 vs a 30

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>38791644
>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>38791644
>>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40
Boars are freaking terrifying grab one and run the entire pack will chase you for hours as long as they have LOS on you.

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>38791644
>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>38791644
>>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40

>>38791644
>>Kill one of the smaller pigs. 1d100 vs a 40
boars are horribly dangerous.

>>38791672
Been hunting, been witness of that.

>>38791712
>>38791714
Yup so Drop in on one bite it, kill it, pick it up and use trees to escape?

>>38791660
>>38791672
You're eating bacon tonight, just like I am right now.

writing

>>38791660
>>38791672
>>38791700
>>38791710
70,94,71,95
How curious.

>>38791791
Yeah odd ain't it?

>>38791754
So we got one and got away clean-ish?

File: 24656292.jpg (81 KB, 1024x573)

81 KB JPG

>>38791752
Nah more like, sneak in from above, tail grab!, lift into trees and strangle, eat at leisure while the other boars can't do shit.

Anyways bacon time! Delicious, delicious piggy. Who cares if its not kosher!

>>38791843
Considering who we were, not us. We might want a fire for crispy bacon though.

>>38791836
Hell, we could have nabbed that piggy on nightmare mode (though the following 9 updates wouldn't be much fun)

We need to get those miners to teach us how to take apart animals in ways that aren't horrible.
We've got no cooking ability at all.

>>38791866
Thing is instead of pigs they'd be orcs on nightmare. With magical bows.

>>38791644
Pigs are herbivores right? This should be a cakewalk. taking advantage of your long and surprisingly bulky tail you charge out of the undergrowth with what you could only assume to be a scary 'I know you cheated on me with that slut faggot' expression plastered across your mug, much to the panicked squealing of your prey.

It comes so naturally to you, pick a pig, chase it through for a short distance through the jungle, hiss when you realize you just slithered through it's shit, then grab it's back legs. The poor creature falls and you're on it in an instant, it feels weird to coil around an object as big as your human half, you think it's almost like grasping as if you were using a prehensile penis with some foreign STD from India nicknamed scale form the way it fucks up your foreskin.... You are a messed up individual. Regardless, whatever your holding seems deceptively small, if you closed your eyes you'd think you were holding a mouse. Uncaring of the wails surrounding you on every direction, because everyone knows herbivores are chickenshit. You squeeze. There's a crack. the pig lies dead.

Holy shit that was easy.

First of all give me a dodge 1d100 vs a 60

>Take your quarry up a tree so you're less of a target for other predators.

>Fuck it just eat it here, whole.

>Fuck it just eat it hear, but maybe start a fire first or something you dunno.

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>38791965
>Take your quarry up a tree so you're less of a target for other predators.

Rolled 47 (1d60)

>>38791965
>>Fuck it just eat it here, whole.
Not forgetting to eat again

>>38791965
>>Take your quarry up a tree so you're less of a target for other predators.
Then hurry the fuck up and eat it and go to the miners you procrastinating so and so

>>38791994
we dodged the shit of that...

Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>38791965
>Take it back to the miners try again. Maybe they can teach you how to cook pig.

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>38791965
>Drag it off a bit, but maybe start a fire first or something you dunno.

We have a worrying appreciation for fire so we should be fine, and roast pork is best pork.

>>38792013
If this is an option, it'd be fun to try.
Except this time we absolutely can't run away because they have our last two dinners.

>>38791994
You dodged the shit out of that wild boar.

>>38792013
>>38792030

This might work actually? all in favor of a peace offering? maybe they'd even teach us how to not fuck up at cooking.

>>38792053
Yeah, I'm up for asking miners to cook our piggy

>>38792053
Yeah I support that.

>>38792053
I'd like that, little girl shows up all panicky, throws up, runs off, comes back with a fucking boar she killed unarmed asking for help cooking it.

Best snek is a best.

>>38792053
Sound better then anything else Katie could come up with.

>>38792053
Yes, but only if we're committed to sticking around for it. I refuse to lose TWO meals because we're so awkward.

>>38792053
Yes, our hunger overcomes our spaghetti.

>>38792053
Supporting the offering.

>>38791965
Friendly reminder that boars are omnivores (not that Katie would know that) and are known to eat pretty much anything that wanders in front of them. We dodged a bullet here.

File: cba.png (98 KB, 510x546)

98 KB PNG

>>38792065
>>38792071
>>38792086
>>38792092
>>38792094
>>38792121
>>38792127
Alright looks like that's happening.

Also I apologize for the delay I ended up making coffee instead of writing. Because Op is a faggot like that.

>>38792172
A-anon, are you META-gaming?!

>>38792121
I think it's the other way around, anon, but ultimately our failure eclipses both.

>>38792193
No he was just saying boars would rape our shit if we got caught.

>>38792197
Hey we're playing on challenging anon our failure is voluntary.

>>38792193
How is that meta-gaming? Please explain that to me?

I was just saying a real world fact, followed by what the character knows. I still voted for what she knew...

>>38792229
I'm sorry, I was just joking. Intent, text, etc

>>38792219
That's more to do with our (admittedly in-character) choices for the last few threads.

>>38791965
You're not overly concerned at the shrieking and grunting going on around you like it was some kind of BSDM palace being hit by anti bear pepper spray bombs, you're too preoccupied thinking about how great an idea it'd be to take this thing back to the miners. You wince. mood droping considerably as you remember, but hey at least they wouldn't think you were a stupid incompetent child anymo-

Entirely on instinct or possibly shear accident you let go of the dead pig and sort of slacken yourself into a large knot ball which a giant wild boar just happens to barrel into, which you quickly constrict down onto. You can't believe this shit, two for one in less than 30 seconds. Mouth watering you sink your fangs into the struggling animal and instinctively squeeze tighter every time it breaths out. Tastes exactly like bacon, hell it might just be the hunger but it tastes better than bacon.

You've got that creepy, intense almost smile and stare that only girls who choke the life out of small animals are apt to have. Regardless this thing is going down.

Jaws clamped and staring intensely at the dying animal like a maniac God damn snake-chan you scary, you can only hear what the other pigs are doing.

>Disengage, dodge the smaller boar trying to headbutt you. 1d100 vs a 10

>Eh whatever, they're just fucking grass eaters, they probably won't even do shit. (you get rammed)

>Write in.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>38792410
>Disengage, dodge the smaller boar trying to headbutt you. 1d100 vs a 10
Snekfu continues!

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>38792410
>What's this? Gotta constrict another bitch? Feastin' tonight! (Kill the small boar for maximum piggy gains)

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>38792410
>Disengage, dodge the smaller boar trying to headbutt you. 1d100 vs a 10

>>38792450
This.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>38792410
>>Write in.
Kill more boars.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>38792410
>Do I have to tail-slap a bitch?

Hit the smaller pig. Just need to keep it off until this big one is dead, then we can take care of it.

>>38792450
It's actually the large alpha boar you have in your pseudo tenticlely grasp anon.

The small ones are ramming you.

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>38792410
>>Disengage, dodge the smaller boar trying to headbutt you. 1d100 vs a 10
Go up a tree, then climb from tree to tree away with your prize.

>>38792450
This

We are snek chan killer of piggy

>>38792410
>>Eh whatever, they're just fucking grass eaters, they probably won't even do shit. (you get rammed)
Murder the big one we got, he'll be trouble if he recuperates.

>>38792489
Yeah, but don't we have enough tail to grab this small one too?

If not I guess we could just maul it with our fangs or hands or something?

>>38792487
>>38792468
>>38792450
So I'm seeing tail slap a bitch or conscript the pig you already have.

>Do I have to tail-slap a bitch? 1d100vs a 30

>Constrict a motherfucker. 1d100 vs a 50 (anything above an 80 will be an outright deathblow)

>>38792450
lets do this shit!

>>38792489
We grabbed the big alpha pig? Holy shit we are a terrifying drop snake.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>38792543
>Constrict a motherfucker. 1d100 vs a 50 (anything above an 80 will be an outright deathblow

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>38792543
>>Do I have to tail-slap a bitch? 1d100vs a 30

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>38792543
>>Constrict a motherfucker. 1d100 vs a 50 (anything above an 80 will be an outright deathblow)
>>38792556
lol, guys lets just not roll a 1 and were good..

Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>38792543
>Constrict a motherfucker. 1d100 vs a 50 (anything above an 80 will be an outright deathblow)

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>38792543
>>Constrict a motherfucker. 1d100 vs a 50 (anything above an 80 will be an outright deathblow)
Fuck that guy.

>>38792556
>>38792575
>>38792619
So looks like you murder the shit out of the giant wild boar, literally.

Writing

>>38792645
Why must everything we do end up covering us with faeces...

>>38792666
Because we need to get out of this fucking jungle.

>>38792666
Well we can at least cleans these corpses up before we present them to the miners.

>>38792677

We just need to find a big city, break into a library and build a nest somewhere where they can't get us. And then never ever fucking leave, goddamn. Fuck the jungle.

>>38792666
because that is what happens when you actually kill something by constricting it. Also this QM likes poo i think.

>>38792689
We're pretty hungry, we should just grab the biggest one, skinning then is easier.

>>38792708
We could grow wings and become a bookwyrm

>>38792689
Nah, its better if we show up with a buch of wrecked pig corpses. And a smile. Like a cat that murdered some mice for its owner, on scalier and more half-neet

>>38792738
We don't want to freak them out.

>>38792689
Eat one cook one

>>38792780
They're covered in crap. Clean em first before we eat em. No monkey redos.

>>38792728
Good point.

>>38792738
Snake chan get off the computer.

>>38792808
Hey, don't diss snake chan, snake chan is a valuable part of our team.

>>38792881
Not dissing her, but everyone knows when Computers are involved Neet chan is in charge.

File: 34b.png (128 KB, 376x387)

128 KB PNG

>>38792410
You can hear the other pigs running their hooves through the dirt and preparing to charge... you think... you're getting a face full of shaking fur right now. As if sensing the end the animals begins to thrash and you realize you probably won't have time to suffocate a bitch before getting reamed multiple times by boar tusks... So you squeeze, and hard.

The animal shakes, unable to move, you feel your entire tail burning as the muscular appendage crushes the life out of it. You hear something crack, your tail constricts inward suddenly and you have the awful feeling some orifice on the boar just prolapsed judging by the smell and wet feeling on the end of your tail. It quickly stops moving after that, you detach your jaw from the bloodied fur trying to get away but of course it's too late.

Something barrels into your tail tusk first. You feel like you just got punched in the kidneys, except they'd been surgically replaced with bull testicles. You mouth opens breathlessly and you thrash your tail about wildly keeping the attackers at bay while you grip the ground and make EXTREMELY constipated expressions.

>Fuck that guy, fuck all these guys (constrict) 1d100vs a 50.

>Angry nerd grills bite when triggered 4d100 vs a 20

>Cry and slither up a tree, you kidneys really hurt now.

Rolled 99, 68, 61, 54 = 282 (4d100)

>>38792916
>Angry nerd grills bite when triggered 4d100 vs a 20

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>38792916
>Fuck that guy, fuck all these guys (constrict) 1d100vs a 50.

>>38792916
>>Cry and slither up a tree, you kidneys really hurt now.
We probably can't carry any more of them anyway.
Get up, wait a bit for them to leave. If they don't come back and give them snake chan episode 2.

Rolled 74, 73, 86, 90 = 323 (4d100)

>>38792916
>Angry nerd grills bite when triggered 4d100 vs a 20

Rolled 82, 5, 17, 54 = 158 (4d100)

>>38792916
>angry nerd grills

>>38792916
>Cry and slither up a tree, you kidneys really hurt now.

Seriously, we're not killing a whole herd of boar just to get one or two that we need.

>>38792943
>>38792962
99 73 86 90
Snake chan is angry.

>>38792943
>>38792962
These rolls are all so great...

>>38792916
>>Cry and slither up a tree, you kidneys really hurt now.
lets not try to murder a whole field of boars. Come on guys, we got enough food already.

File: YouThinkThisIsAFuckingGame.png (63 KB, 392x515)

63 KB PNG

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>38792916

>Fuck that guy, fuck all these guys (constrict) 1d100vs a 50.

Remove boar

REMOVE BOAR

>>38792916
>Angry nerd grills bite when triggered 4d100 vs a 20

>>38792976
No, we totally are.

>>38792976
We can make a pallet and drag them to the miners.

Moral of the story do not trigger a neet that literally has a lizard brain.

>>38792943
>>38792962
That first pig is bacon. Hell they're all bacon.

>>38792943
>>38792962
>>38792970
>>38793016
I think this comes out on top. Enjoy your pointless field of pig corpses.

Writing

>>38792992
We can turn it into a month's supply of pork jerky for the road.

>>38792916
>Angry nerd grills bite when triggered 4d100 vs a 20

>>38793037
not pointless, A peace offering to the miners!

>>38793037
Hey we can drag 2-3 of them back and then come back for the rest after. also exp. So much exp.

>>38793037
>lot's of meat
>pointless

Are you kidding? We've literally brought home the bacon.

>>38793029

No. They shall go to the killing grounds, and they will see.

>>38793037
Pointless? Hah! We have a tail for a reason, lay them on our back and slither back to the mines. Not to mention all of the delicious, delicious EXP we are getting towards our first Rank 2 advancement.

Am I the only one sad it seems that we have deadly venom now instead of Knock out venom, paralysis venom always seemed more useful to me than, HAHA killer fangs!

>>38793086
It'll get stolen, pallet + one skinned one munched on by us to help with healing. We shouldn't munch on the one we didn't bite, though.

>>38793106
I think we should get temp paralysis venom so we can awkwardly rape people.

>>38793143
Or we can just be a super strong snake girl and have guy in the region after us for mating.

File: Spoiler Image (179 KB, 599x850)

179 KB JPG

>>38793077
Delicious exp for Ranks.

Don't worry Katie this world is full of second chances for girls like you. And ranks are the path for things you didn't have in the previous one.

>>38793270
The sad irony is that we're going to get
amazing hips and belly
from our snake transformations.

>>38793294
Anon, don't you know? Humanoid monsters get more attractive every time they evolve. Especially if they're female. We level up enough we will have all the body.

>>38793335
It's dependent on the type of monster.

There's a long and boring explanation for why a snake-butt is going to have a great waist, and a fair belly. The tits aren't biomechanically required to be sweet like the hips are, though, and so they can vary widely.

>>38793409
>long and boring explanation
lets hear it.

>>38792916
The pain slowly erodes and is replaced with rage, why the fuck are herbivores fighting back this place makes no fucking sense. Sometimes you're glad you're not exactly Katie black the soon to be neet anymore, but in this instance you were always prone to fits of biting as a kid if sufficiently annoyed... and right now you're feeling pretty fucking triggered. For once it seems you and snake-chan are in complete agreement

That boar that got you in the side is grunting and shaking it's stupid head up and down like an autistic child who got into the medicine cabinet, you hiss has your jaw dislocates and you lunge forward. You'd feel bad that the fangs sank right into both it's eyeballs, but that fucker tusked you in the kidney. Fuck that guy, he's got venom on the brain now.

You throw a literal hissy fit, biting every animal in reach like a small child in a toy store with rich parents, it's a massacre, the remaining animals just run and you almost follow them before you realize your standing in a field of dead and dying pig flesh... You don't know whether to feel accomplished or ashamed. So you stand there gormless, a bit lost as to what the fuck you're going to do now with all this delicious bacon. Right... tactical disassociation time:

".......sssssssssix, sssssseven, eight...... I ssssssee sssssea ssshellssss on the ssssssssea sssshore- fuck" This lisp is going to be the end of you. Or.. or maybe not... You could make it work actually, maybe... It goes with the whole snake thing. That pig you bit in the eyeballs stops moving, the field of pig corpses isn't going away. fuck.

>You could try to carry them all I guess...?

>Just drag the biggest one away.

Also:
>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..

>save your appetite for later, you don't want to waste time eating if this place is going to be swarming with scavengers any time now.

>>38793443
>You could try to carry them all I guess...?
>save your appetite for later, you don't want to waste time eating if this place is going to be swarming with scavengers any time now.

>>38793427
The absolute shortest version is:
You need a certain amount of tail mass, and unless you are the noodliest fucking snake ever, that means you're going to have a snake tail wider than your human parts. Since the snake join to the human parts is where the hips would be, this means kickin' hips.

>>38793443
Try and drag the smallest ones up a tree (and hope the shitmonkeys aren't nearby), drag the big one to the miners.

>>38793443
>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..

>You could try to carry them all I guess...?

>>38793443
>Just drag the biggest one away.
and
>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..
But only if they're smaller than our head.

>>38793443
>You could try to carry them all I guess...?
>save your appetite for later, you don't want to waste time eating if this place is going to be swarming with scavengers any time now

>>38793475
This. How close are we to the miners anyway? Could we get them to help shift the piggies?

>>38793541
Too awkward, no chance.

Also congrats on level 20.

>>38793443
>Take the ones that didnt get venomed
>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..

>>38793443
>Drag the biggest plus the one we already killed and didn't bite.
>save your appetite for later, you don't want to waste time eating if this place is going to be swarming with scavengers any time now.

>>38793443
>You could try to carry them all I guess...?

Load up our snake body like one of those trains in India with all the people on top.

>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..

>>38793443
>>You could try to carry them all I guess...?
>>save your appetite for later, you don't want to waste time eating if this place is going to be swarming with scavengers any time now.

>>38793590
5 levels off? Man we shoulda chased after the fleeing pork

>>38793443
>You could try to carry them all I guess...?
>Swallow a smaller one now because you're starving...again..

>>38793590
I want to say we are leveling way too fast, but then again we just killed eight boars one of which was a big boar, and a baby crocodile thing.

Captcha: Eatin
Yummy yummy

Some thing about the eyes of the OP image really draw me in, I think we need the hypnotism thing next evolution.

>>38790122
No idea what this is but that art is fantastic.

>>38793725
>>38793713
OP reeled in a really fantastic draw-anon. He said he plans on doing more in the future. I look forward to it immensely.

Also hypnosis unnecessary with eyes like that.

>>38793725

Asocial neet becomes lamia in a world of monsters and madness. Also, disturbing smut does or does not happen in the background.

File: 1424558599154.png (154 KB, 333x310)

154 KB PNG

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>38793590
OP forgot you were on challenging mode. Pick a passive trait from the list.

Tier 1:
>Horn nubs. (unknown)
>Sharper claws (grapple)
>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).
>Spaded tail tip (you have a spear shaped tail tip now)
>Thicker scales. (you gain thicker scales on your shoulders, forearms and tail)
>heightened senses (see better, hear better)

Tier 2: (That are available right now)
>Chameleon skin (camouflage)
>Greater constrictor body (the muscles in your tail bulk up and strengthen considerably allowing you to crush the life out of larger prey)
>Deadly Venom: (Your venom can become a potent blood clotting agent, If administered to necks it can very quickly induce strokes, often with hilarious results. Also comes with the ability to switch types of venom to sedative ect)
>Acidic blood/spit (your blood becomes weakly acidic,makes treating wounds harder but certainly discourages predators from latching on)

Special attacks:
>Venom spit (You gain a natural projectile weapon)

>>38793475
Looks like you're carrying all of them, greedy snek.
>1
>>38793475
>>38793519
>>38793541
>>38793599
>>38793617

>2
>>38793510
>>38793517
>>38793592
>>38793603
>>38793672
Dice decide.

>>38793699
You are on challenging and getting into a ton of fights anon, I'd say we're about right.

>>38793894
>level 26
Looks like you're going straight to the miners.

Writing.

>>38793894

>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

Gotta get that hypnovision. Also we're basically blind at night without this, so it'd be really good for spotting incoming predators and increase the amount of territory we can hunt in.

>>38793894
Dr. We had thicker scales already. Our 4 upgrades were sclaes, body heat, constrictor and venom fangs.

>Deadly Venom: (Your venom can become a potent blood clotting agent, If administered to necks it can very quickly induce strokes, often with hilarious results. Also comes with the ability to switch types of venom to sedative ect)

>>38793894
>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself)
This is too handy to have at night time not to pick. Chameleon to further our shenanigans with the miners was sorely tempting mind you...

>>38793894
I choose
>greater constrictor body
for better hips

If nobody votes for that, then
>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

>>38793894
>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

Fuck year, that much closer to solid snek

>>38793894
>Greater constrictor body (the muscles in your tail bulk up and strengthen considerably allowing you to crush the life out of larger prey)

>>38793894
>>heightened senses (see better, hear better)

Also, mind telling us what the dice have decided, because I don't know what the parameters of that 1d2 roll was.

>>38793937
We really need a character sheet to keep track of this...

>>38793894
>>Horn nubs. (unknown)

>>38793937
Nope you definitely picked longer tail instead of thicker scales. I have notes.

>>38793894
>Greater constrictor body

>>38793894
>Chameleon skin (camouflage)

Now we can go full spaghetti and change colour rapidly when embarrassed.

>>38793894
>>>Horn nubs. (unknown)

>>38793894
>Greater constrictor body (the muscles in your tail bulk up and strengthen considerably allowing you to crush the life out of larger prey)

>>38793894
>>>Horn nubs. (unknown)
gotta have that magic son

>>38793894
Will we be able to get Tier 2 upgrades in the future again?
Muh Greater constrictor body;_;

>>38793894
>>Greater constrictor body (the muscles in your tail bulk up and strengthen considerably allowing you to crush the life out of larger prey)

Get huge.

>>38793894
>Greater constrictor body
>Deadly Venom

What unlocks hypnosis?

>>38794028
of course we will...
we're at our 2nd evolution.
tier 2 was unlocked once we evolved.

>>38793988
>Spaghetti Camouflage

Oh lawd the potential for madness

>>38793894
>>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

>>38793894

>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

So we can fight back if something goes invisible, or tries to be cheeky with chameleon cloaking.

>>38793894
>>Horn nubs. (unknown)
meh thought it was two like last time.
I deleted older post I want magic more.
venom would be nice though.

>>38793894
>Horn nubs. (unknown)

>>38793894
>Horn nubs. (unknown)
i want this.. but man did samefagging increase or what.
>x8 nah i've just been lurking man

>>38794043

Eye-related upgrades.

>>38793894

>Secondary heat vision (speaks for itself).

Come on, eye powers snake is a-go-go!

>>38794086
>>38794110
>>38794129
NIGGUH.
Are you serious?
3 to the fucking same second. And you didn't think it would be suspicious?

>>38794027
I want magic

>>38794158
To be fair there were only four new IPs joining the thread since the upgrade choice was given and there are 28 replies to the choice post, two of which are dead where players changed their vote, out of the 36 IP's in this thread.

I really don't think there's much if any samefagging

>>38794200
I want to be stealth snek, but fucking constrictor fags be samefagging.

>>38793894
>Greater constrictor body
>Thicker scales. (you gain thicker scales on your shoulders, forearms and tail)
We dragon now.

>>38793894
>Deadly Venom: (Your venom can become a potent blood clotting agent, If administered to necks it can very quickly induce strokes, often with hilarious results. Also comes with the ability to switch types of venom to sedative ect)

>>38794212
bullshit. Samefagging abound. we need a final destination vote here NOW.

>>38794212
Edit: As >>38794193 noted there's at least one muppet at it. Still, there's way less than there could be.

We should have saved this vote for after the thread was over. its really shitting everything up.

>>38793443
You take a look at the pointlessly large field of delicious bacon that you can't possibly eat by yourself, although snake-chan is chomp the pork you casually remind her that this place will inevitably be teaming with shitmonkeys by the end of the hour, you think... better safe than sorry, you hate those fucking things. You really have no choice but to bite the bullet on this one... b-but hey. Look at this kickass peace offering, they'll think you're so badass after this... probably. You hope.

It's now hard to move and takes some real finicky balancing but you eventually manage to stack the pigs across the girth of your snake half, the big one sitting on the small of your back and a smaller one cradled in your arms. If this doesn't get Senpai to notice you then nothing will. It takes a considerable amount of effort but you slowly get moving, your snake half dragging into the mud and burning with effort, your arms quickly begin to hurt and you're panting 30 seconds into the trip, maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

-
The suns going down and by the time you emerge from the bushes panting and sweating like a fat lass on a dance dance revolution on maximum difficulty there's six men packing up their gear to head home. They stop and stare wide eyed, you can feel your face heating up already.

You forgot you were naked again.

>h-hey guys, I brought you supper.

>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.

>write in?

>>38794227
Dragons don't constrict. They'd have claws, scales, and horns upgrades.

>>38794212
Look I uderstand We've a few IP's.
But lets be serious
>>38794059
>>38794086
>>38794110
>>38794129
This dipshit didn't even try to cover his ass.

>>38794277
>h-hey guys, I brought you supper.

>>38794277
>write in?
Put ARM over our FLAT TITS
>h-hey guys, I brought you supper.
>can you show me how to, uh, make it into food?

>>38794277
>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.

Look at the ground and blush like mad while doing so, also do the holding one arm thing. thing.

>>38794277
>>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.

>>38794291
We're a snake dragon? Forgive me I'm new I just stuck around for the op image.

>>38794310
>flat tits
Those tits in Op look pretty MASSIVE.

>>38794277
Uh Hi I ran into a bunch of pigs they attacked and I killed them. Thing is I don't know how to cook, help?
Cover tits with arms.

>>38794310
>>38794277

I like this. It is a good decision.

>>38794277
>>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.

Keep the big one closet to you

>>38794277
>>h-hey guys, I brought you supper.

Sorry about earlier, I am inkyonkyew days out of the egg.

>>38794322
No, we're just a snek, a spaghetti snek, but still, a snek.

>>38794277
>h-hey guys, I brought you supper.
>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.
Spaghetti is boiling nicely.

>>38794310
Second

>>38794310
sounds good.

>>38794327
The OP is not representative of how we actually look.
For one, we've got green skin that the artist didn't want to draw.
For two, we're much flatter.
For three, noshirt.

The rest is accurate.

>>38794277
>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.
I think talking is not for us.

>>38794327
The OP is us in a litte while. Look at the OP of the last thread for a more accurate picture of what we look like. We are flat like a board right now.

>>38794327
Op tits are not massive they're a good size.

>>38794277
>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.

Try hide behind our tail as we mumble.

>>38794277
>>*mumble* dump the piles of pig corpses and see how they respond.
OH SHIT, OUR VENOM, FUCK FUCK FUCK, GIVE THEM THE NON-VENOM INJECTED ONES

>>38794351
Need to trade the tits for hips

>>38793924
>>38793943
>>38793957
>>38793960
>>38794062
>>38794065
>>38794186

I think heat vision wins. You'll get it when you wake up because OP is too lazy to write it into the conversation... well I'll see anyway.

>>38794367
They're best size, squeezable but not to large.

>>38794391
Aw Yiss, or should that be Yissssssssssssss!

>>38794398
given her waist those are probably into the E to F size.

>>38794309
>>38794310
>>38794318
>>38794322
>>38794330
>>38794332
>>38794334
>>38794341
>>38794348
>>38794349
>>38794350

So a bit of everything while awkwardly covering our nips.

Writing

>>38794391
So we can all agree Greater constrictor body next for dem hips right?

>>38794391
I think horns got the same amount unless I miss counted.

>>38794434
I counted 7 for heat vision and 10 for constrictor body.

>>38794391

Pretty sure it was 10 for Greater Constrictor, but only 7 for Secondary Heat Vision. I didn't vote, but that seems to be the poll.

>>38794450
Look I'm all for constrictor body, and Horns, if it wasn't for blatant smaefagger. Constrictor might have won. But fuck him, he is the reason we can't have nice things.

>>38794450
no, hips a shit

>>38794434
Horns had more son

>>38794466
>>38794461
Some guy samefagged 4 times.

>>38794461
>>38794466
Blatant samefaggery cause dq on constrictor.

File: 1273051793335.jpg (5 KB, 160x160)

5 KB JPG

>>38794490
Get out

>>38794466
>>38794461
bitch lets be serious.
4 of them MINIMUM where by the same person.

>>38794492
Op is slightly retarded with dyslexia and also very lazy. Could you do him a favor and count up all the posts for horns while I write out this the spaghetti:

Preferably in this format:
>>38794492
>>38794492
>>38794492

>>38794502
>>38794506
>>38794517
What evidence is there for that exactly? A huge amount of the other votes could have been samefagged too

>>38794548
op linked wrong post.
Cute/10

How do you tell if a vote is samefagged? There was a ton of chatter in all the votes.

>>38794511
Hey, you like large hips, I like more slender ones, let's just agree to disagree, if hips win I will accept my defeat and fap anyway.

>don't actually care about evo
>all this
As long as it's not nubs, I'm happy.
Because fuck nubs.
Seriously.
Nubs.

>>38794563
oh fuck dude. look here:
>>38794297

>>38794580
when you pay for 4chan gold you can see everyone's IP address.

>>38794563
Maybe, but when a guy writes in caps in the exact same style on each vote with posts at the precise post delay apart it's pretty obvious what's going on.

>>38794548
Horns got 6 cause a guy deleted his post.
Eyes got 7 cause no one deleted.

You are fine OP.

>>38794563
>>38794580

here
>>38794059
>>38794086
>>38794110
>>38794129
4 votes at one minute to one minute one second apart all for the same thing. The text is changed each time to avoid spam blocker.

>>38794623
See:

>>38793924
>>38793943
>>38793960
>>38794062
Look at all the time between them, note none of them have the same text either.

If constrictor is guilty because of suspicious behaviour then so is heat vision. Constrictor just stands out more because it is all at the end.

I suggest a more strict voting structure if people are going to do that.

>>38794665
Two of those are less than a minute apart so they couldn't have been samefagged. Additionally the samefagged was more or less exactly a minute apart these were not. They may have been samefagged but the constrictor body is a certainty.

>>38794665
Check the seconds on the first four (which are now DELETED lol)
18 secs past, 19 secs past, 19 secs past, 19 secs past. That's someone typing up a reply and hitting autosubmit which then goes through after the minute delay.

The four you linked do not conform to that behaviour.

We get it, you use 4chanX and have relative times rounded to the minute rather than timestamps, but please stop being so retarded.

>>38794717
We need final destination.
>captcha nsfew
Captcha we have enough problems with you going nuts because Hue a shit.

>>38794548

6 for Horns
7 for Secondary Heat Vision
10 for Constrictor Body (Adjusting out the three repeats: 7)

Other QMs do secure voting when things get like this, one post, only a single number response with no link. I don't particularly care though.

Sigh i don't care anymore can we just continue the damn quest?

>>38794200
>>38794158
>>38794124
>>38794089
>>38794027
>>38794014
>>38793974
7
meh it's neck and neck.
not more but even.

>>38794800
>>38794774
>>38794753

Guys please can't we save this for later after the quest ends, we burned though all our posts!

I just realized something. Between the constrictor and building-up-to-hypnovision stuff, aren't we basically building ourselves as a monstergirl version of Kaa from Jungle Book, but with way more spaghetti?

Make it happen, guys.

>>38794846
>more spaghetti than Kaa
I recall him being pretty noodly too to be honest..

>>38794872

It's been a long time since I saw the movie, so I can't remember what he was like. I'll have to pick it up again some time.

>>38794908
Same, and I might be confusing him with Sir Hiss from the robin hood disney film/

Well guys we passed the bump limit feel free to shit post as much as you like, heck we're already on page three thanks a lot faggots for over bumping the thread so OP can't run for as long as he might have been able to.

>>38793725
Funny enough, I actually know that artist! Their deviant art account can be found here: http://sarinth.deviantart.com/

Horns!

>>38794951
Dude... OP can just make a second thread, y'know? Call it thread 6.5

Have you never seen quest sessions require a second thread before?

>>38795032
Nah, I know, I just like yelling at people. Also .5s a shit.

>>38794991
I agree man.
Horns, indeed.

>>38795066
Yeah, they're an extra handhold for if we get raped!

>>38794991
Horns are laaaame

>>38794277
"holy shit"

"yep" replies Steve.

Pipe man takes a puff, a man you didn't embarrass yourself in front of yet kinda grips his pickaxe looking like he just came face to face with a mountain lion. "T-that the 'little girl' you were talking about earlier ed?" Well this is going swimmingly. You avert your eyes to the ground and the words just don't come out the way you intended "i-i ah- I g-got you ah *mumble* d-dinner i-if y-you want-" You laugh nervously and dump the large pile of what will hopefully become bacon into a heap next to you and quickly cross your arms over your chest in a way you hope doesn't make it obvious that you're hiding your nipples, tilting your head at the floor and hoping to got they take this the right way.

Meanwhile the men are having a group huddle of sorts "so... think we can outrun her?"
"Jesus frank, look at her, she's harml- more scared of us than we are of-"
frank bites back at eddy "Look at that giant pile of bacon and tell me it isn't a viscous predator"
Pipe man takes another puff "She brought us a ton of food, she's alright in my books"

You can't quite make out what they're saying in hushed whispers but you really don't want to be here right now, you feel more naked that you actually are, and you're pretty fucking naked. You're standing next to a massive pile of pig corpses, and it's getting really awkward. You need to think of something, because this is going spectacularly badly.

>>38795260
Suddenly the men break up and you see that guy called Eddie coming over, he shook your hand before so it should be OK right? Why does he look so apprehensive, you eyes widen and you start to sweat and shake, suddenly it dawns on your that you might have just made a very poor impression.

"I-ah-I-I-I" you need to explain this, or you might have just permanently fucked yourself out of any chance of civilization. You notice he's been standing there awkwardly scratching the back of his head and avoiding eye contact.

"soooo" he coughs. "A-are these for us?"

OK this is good he's getting the right impression now you just need to reply before things get too awkward and shit you've already waited too long "I uh... yess-ss-sss?"

"I had a feeling" He relaxes somewhat and bends down to your level, you'd feel pretty patronized by the way he's talking to you if your brain wasn't clouded by crippling anxiety "thank you, that was very thoughtful of you" oh that's right, he thinks you're a small child. You feel sorry for these poor miners, having what they think is a neurotic kid dropped in front of them, 'oh god' you think to yourself, what must this look like. A kid runs off sobbing and brings back a truckload of dead animals like some giant mutant house-cat, what are you retarded, this is awful, plus you've been standing here for a full 10 seconds. "I-i'm ssssorry..t-thank you" why are you thanking him.

>write in, OP has nothing.

>>38795280
Y-y-y-you t-t-t-to!

>>38795280
So, uh, can you guys tell me where we are?
Also, how do we make this stuff into real food?


Did we get stabbed by a boar? Maybe it's time for rest.

>>38795280
Clearly we need to capture Steve and take him into the jungle to look after us.

But (more) seriously:
>Curl up and bury our head inside our coils
>Cue muffled sobs

>>38795280
>point out the ones you bit.
>mumble something about poison