You spend half an hour stressing over things you have no control over like a scientist wondering whether or not he'll go to jail for putting a baby in a box with a radio active isotope and a flask of poison following a crippling cat shortage, somehow missing the whole point entirely.

>You'd better get started on that fast food delivery, it could be Sundas tomorrow for all you know.

>You could procrastinate for a while, and maybe look around for more work because with no internet you've got fuck all else to do.

>Wait for Ed to come back then show him your contract, hope to god he's literate.

>Just go for a wander around town (and possibly coincidentally bump into the alchemist shop that Salvia lady owns)

>Previously on nerdy snake waifu quest: https://archive.moe/tg/search/tripcode/%21Me.qpOlLW2/type/op/


This twitter thing everyone's talking about - https://twitter.com/DrUnorigional

Difficulty: This crappy quest will have a difficulty setting that you can change at any time if you so wish, just ask, use it tactically.

>Easy mode: (Half XP) You get 5 dice rolls, best roll taken, the entire world is sunshine and rainbows. Only lasts for 5 in game story posts.

>Normal (defult): (Normal XP rates and encounters.)You get 3 rolls, best dice taken.

>challenging: (Double XP!) You only get 2 rolls, best of 2.

>Hard mode: (Triple XP and more loot.) You get 2 rolls but we use an average instead of the best one. Bad luck comes your way and shit is getting perilous, pray to the dice gods for mercy.

>Punishing: (Quadruple XP and allot of cool stuff just left lying around. )You only got one shot, make it count. 1 roll. Enemies are written as more competent/ better equipped, E.G if encountered then regular wolves will become larger dire wolves ect. You may get your shit pushed in.

>Nightmare mode: (10 times exp) Awww shit son u gon die. The worst of 3 rolls is taken, the world shifts to grimdderp and bad things happen. You can't turn it off for 10 in game posts.

Fate point: QM steals from khornette quest because he is a filthy hack, you can reroll one dice per session. Only once, and use that instead.

Dub rolls = +30
Trip rolls = +90

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>Current level = 26
>Difficulty = Challenging. (I didn't forget)
XP: current/total = level.
For example. 35 exp collected vs a 60 for evolution = level 58

Every 25 levels you get some kind of passive perk that might have an effect on your next evolution. Whatever you choose gets strengthened as and if you evolve.

Experience is given via difficulty and is relative. Remember to use the difficulty setting tactically, you can't raise it until after the fight is over.

>Mundane = 1 or even 0 XP. Shit like killing insects or knitting.
>Easy: 1-3 EXP, picking a lock or successfully hunting small prey.
>Medium: 5-10 EXP hunting larger prey that can fight back but really can't win.
>Challenging: 10-25: Shit that can fight back but not exactly life threatening.
>Threatening: 25-50 Something that could very well kill you and puts up a fair fight. 1V1 me faggot.
>Deadly: 50-100+ a (much?) larger/stronger opponent that may have the odds stacked in their favour

I swear I'll put a paste-bin up eventually

>>38930503
>Take the contract to Ed's home for safe-keeping
>Head to the jungle and get hunting!

might as well go see the other snake people while we wait for Eddie

>>38930542
>Take the contract to Ed's home for safe-keeping
>Head to the jungle and get hunting!

Snek? Snek!? Sneeeeeeeeeeeeeek!

>>38930503
>Take the contract to Ed's home for safe-keeping
>Head to the jungle and get hunting!

>>38930666
>>38930565
>>38930711
>6 posters.
This somehow isn't samefagging.

Guess we'll go with this

Writing

>>38930499
Goddamn it, right in the middle of my lunch break, too.

>>38930503
>Wait for Ed to come back then show him your contract, hope to god he's literate.
Then, if we have a day or two...
>Just go for a wander around town (and possibly coincidentally bump into the alchemist shop that Salvia lady owns)

>>38930503
Normally making decisions like this would be easy, you'd just browse the internet for dicks instead and let the whole thing blow over until you got chewed out by your mother for not completing that essay, then continued browsing the internet to cope with the stress of impending deadlines and raising parent-sibling tensions. But unfortunately you can't because you got hit in the head with a concrete block and magically became a snake trapped in a medieval fantasy world which you still haven't decided is real or just an impressively vivid and stubbornly persistent coma delusion.

You need the money, for stuff. Stuff like clothes, and to pay back Eddie for taking you and letting you sleep in his bed despite being dirt poor himself. Besides that the cheery atmosphere and sunshine is making you feel claustrophobic and insecure like a fat fedora atheist from /R9k/ wearing shorts and being squeezed into a crowded pool at a nudist colony.
You need some time alone, and your job which involves killing shit in the middle of the jungle provides the perfect excuse to be a loner, but first you should really stash that contract somewhere safe before you go out to fight said wild animals.... what has your life become.

(cont)

>>38931025
After an awkward time trying to navigate with only 3 feet of visible ground in front of you due to the inclination of your head and hair you finally make it back to the rather shoddily built two room house you currently call home, curiously enough the doors unlocked. Poor bastards either so poor he can't afford a lock or simple doesn't have anything worth stealing.

You take a moment to just relax, all alone by yourself, nobody judging you. Feels good man.

Taking the time to actually look around the dining room, the only other room in the house besides the bedroom, you notice Eddie actually has a few draws and a dresser, on which is a sack of something.

>Respect eddies privacy and fuck off into the jungle to fight for you life.

>Nobody will ever know you went looking through his shit, Muhahahahaha

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>>38931025
*taking you in*
lewd anons plz

>>38931037
>Respect eddies privacy and fuck off into the jungle to fight for you life.
He'll KNOW somehowwwww
Can't risk being homeless

>>38931037
>Respect eddies privacy and fuck off into the jungle to fight for you life.

>>38931075
>>38931118
You people are borin- I mean respectful upstanding sneks

Writing.

>>38931307
triggered

>>38931307
You stop that!

oh god this started an hour early somehow.

I guess we're going to go kill shit now!

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>>38931307

>>38931307
Sadly the Tsun dad ship has sailed when we were going to wrap Steve everyone went into outrage and screamed for Eddy. What could have been is gone.

>>38931307
I'm sorry for being such a shit QM anon, please for give me.
Anywho
>>38931037
It's tempting, a smile creeps up on your face as you look at the draws, you're all alone for the day so you could go sneaking through somebodies else things. But the second you actually consider it a deeply sickening feeling wells up in your gut, you can't, you can't betray that guys trust like that. But considering the lack of locks it's not like he's got anything to hide, besides. You really can't risk being homeless right now.

Stashing the slip of paper under the shaggy rug serving as the dining table you head off into that awful bleaching sunlight that always conspires to hit you right in your face. Fuck fresh air too, too noisy, makes you apprehensive.


It's around halfway towards the settlements gate that you feel a bit off, there's some odd pressure behind your eyes... soon enough the dirt begins taking on strange hue's and you stop, eyes widening. Something wrong, everything looks, slightly weird. Eye's wide you glace at your scaly hands, yea that's fucking bizarre. the change happened rather suddenly and it's jarring, but it's like you suddenly gained the ability to perceive an entirely new set of colors in addition to the old ones, and it's freaking you the fuck out.

You breathing quickens, and your hands clench. OK clearly you've slithered over a dirty syringe and are starting to trip balls. Come to think of it, your sweating, your head hurts oh god you're going to die!!!!

(a few threads ago I completely forgot to include a scene wherein you gain heat vision, so here it is)

>Panic, make a scene, get the paramedics!

>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?

>It's probably nothing you can't handle, besides that you can't afford to foot a doctors bill.

>>38931514
>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?

Whoa Heat Vision? Also we should visit other sneks already

>>38931514
>>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?

>>38931514
>Panic, make a scene, get the paramedics!

>>38931514
sorry, you're awesome and I keep on forgetting that one can't convey subtle tone with text, especially if you're going from sarcastic to nonsense to serious
>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?
Can we hook up snake mom and not!dad?

>>38931514
>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?

Plus, she can answer our questions about the world. Okay, Katie, listen up: you are the main character. Salvia is the first major NPC you meet, who will explain what's up. Treat this like a game and you may not be quite so shit. You already killed fiddy pig. Chop chop, snek.

>>38931514
Wait, WE are the one safekeeping our contract? not the contract lady? Weird. good, but weird.


>Go sit down somewhere and hope it goes away, maybe visit Salvia, she's a snake person who deals with medicine right?
>It's probably nothing you can't handle, besides that you can't afford to foot a doctors bill.
Don't pay for shit, yo.


>>38931492
Hey, I was fine with sticking with the guy we were clinging to, but we had a choice of PREFERRED dad and it was obvious eddie's the better one.

>>38931560
No please not. I don't like this meta bullshit tbh

>>38931560
>>38931548
>>38931544
>>38931540
Other sneks must know a thing or two about this.

Writing. Also do you guys mind if I take a quick food break? I'm doing it anyway, be back in 5.

>>38931592
enjoy your snacks, guy.

Maybe we can find out what day it is, and what day we have to turn our meat in.

>>38931591
I really, really don't care about your likes or dislikes.

>>38931624
That's obvious, but I still wanted to say it.

>>38931648
>>38931591
I'm with you
Should've started that way earlier if that should be part of the game

Well, katie, look at you.
Being social and getting jobs and introducing yourself to neighbors.

>>38931679
>>38931591
Guize plz

That meta shit is a bad idea. Writing now.

>>38931726
Welcome back.
I wish we could leave a "I went out to visit sneks and then hunt" letter, but we're ILLITERATE.

Maybe someone can teach us reading. We can't even USE the internet if we can't read.

>>38931592
Go ahead Dr. Eat your food. Also sure is murder hobo in this thread today. But at least we get to meet people around town.

Come on guys keep it chill, we need to stay here for at least some time so I can get a feel for the area and write some smut.

>>38931760
Is this specifically mentioned? Maybe we know how to write, just like we knew how to speak?

>>38931794
well, it was mentioned yesterday when we couldn't read our contract.
Which I am stoked we apparently have ownership of somehow.

>>38931812
Guys? Guys... illiterate. Hw could have given us a take-away menu for all we know.

>>38931906
It was a very OFFICIAL LOOKING take-away menu.

are...are we evolving?

>>38932162
A bit. We're getting our thermals put in by some cut rate contractors.

>>38932196
They gave is Z rays. Two better than X.

>>38932162
Nah, we just finally got our power up.

We did already evolve once putting us at rank 2.

Aren't we like 6-7days old at this point? We shouldn't hit rank 3 till the 1 month Mark if we level like spiderbutt or the LN MC

Weaker monsters evolve faster,spiders are fairly high tier

>>38931514
You don't care that people might stop and stare, you could be having some kind of exotic drug induced stroke right now, you're going to panic-NO, stay calm, stay calm. Panicking will just get you thrown in jail, because you just know you won't be able to explain yourself after having a stroke and acting irrationally.

It's the sight of someone glancing at you that gets you moving, just some random ass stranger in a tunic looking at you as if he were wondering why a half snake mutant suddenly stropped in the middle of the road and started staring intensely and wide eyed at her hands for a full 100 seconds exactly. Feeling much like a deer being caught shitting on the hunting clubs lawn by said hunters, you jerk suddenly and turn around, hitting right into some guys should causing him to drop full of dried poppy resin. There's a smash, you hear much shouting, death threats and oddly enough a few guffaws of laughter fading rapidly into the distance.

Ducking into one of the side alleys, because you feel claustrophobic as all fuck in bright sparsely populated outdoor spaces, you embrace the welcoming shade like it was water in the desert. You can feel yourself panting, you'd imagine you'd look pretty crazy in a mirror right now, like an annoyed honey badger in a sack being thrown down a hill after receiving a large soapy enema via syringe. In other words not quite mentally sound.

(cont)

>>38932368

You realize you've been slithering about though the cooling shade for a while now, and it's getting you absolutely nowhere. You stop, slouching heavily on a house support post.

Then you notice the sign, a stylized image of a snakes tail coiled round a bunch of exotic plants and mushrooms that look like they'd be apt to get you pretty fucked up. It hits you, snake, Salvia. Alchemy is bullshit but she might have some kind of clue as to how to help you with whatever you've inadvertently been injected with.

You calms yourself down, can't just burst in all crazy and panicked like. You fail, but at least you straightened your hair somewhat.

(cont)

>>38932384
-
A rather slender, orange scaled lamia with green hair and an average bust stands in front of a counter idly mashing away unidentifiable substances into a bowl, humming softly to herself. She perks up slightly when the porch creeks, getting ready to greet a new customer she straightens her hair slightly and slithers towards the counter.

Everything pauses when the door slams open, revealing surprisingly enough another lamia, green haired green scaled and looking very much on drugs by the way her hair was messed up and that panicked look in her eyes. Nobody moves. The snake at the counter stares wide eyed, the snake that just burst in does the same, but breaths heavily and looking a lot more freaked out while doing so.

Taking in the sight of the intruder, Salvia quickly realized that despite the equivalent size it was in fact just a little girl, probably on drugs and having a bad trip. Thank the gods she sent her kids off to their classes.
-
You are Katie and this is awkward. You just burst into this shop and nobodies said anything for 5 whole seconds. There's some green haired lady at the counter, you can't see her tail but she must be Salvia.... 8 seconds. She's starting to look really worried.

>Uuuum, h-help me?

>I-I keep ssssssssssssseeing sssssssssssssssstrange colourssssssssssss!!!!!!

>Keep being indecisive until the other snake gets sick of the awkward silence and makes the first move.

>>38932401
>Uuuum, h-help me?

>>38932401
>>Uuuum, h-help me?

And then, after she agrees, complain about seeing colors.

>>38932401
>I-I keep ssssssssssssseeing sssssssssssssssstrange colourssssssssssss!!!!!!
THE COLORS, MAN, LIKE, WHAT THE FUCK!?

>>38932401
>Uuuum, h-help me?

>>38932401
>Keep being indecisive until the other snake gets sick of the awkward silence and makes the first move.

Ah, that's the Katie we all know and love. Tripping on drugs

>>38932442
actually, fuck that, let's just go straight for
>>38932401
>I-I keep ssssssssssssseeing sssssssssssssssstrange colourssssssssssss!!!!!!

because WHY NOT have maximum panic.

>>38932401
>I-I keep ssssssssssssseeing sssssssssssssssstrange colourssssssssssss!!!!!!

>>38932425
>>38932442
>>38932445

>>38932443
>>38932448
>>38932477
>>38932483
THE COLURS, OH GAWD THE COLOURS, I'M FREAKING OUT MAN!!!

Writing

We're freaking out already, might as well get to the point.

>COLORSSSSSSSSSS

Now to determine how long it takes them to figure out it's thermal vision and not, you know, stray drugs.

Also ask what the days in the week are, we never, uh, got told.

>>38932508
I'm colorblind, kid.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VwlMHJE82Mk

>>38932401
>Uuuum, h-help me?

I am still waiting on finding out we're actually a naga.

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>>38932401
You feel the walls closing in on you, as is happening surprisingly often these days, Yep it's another panic attack. This is what you get for being sociable, now you know why you stayed in your room all day. Come to think of it why the fuck are you even here again, you notice the snake lady making her way around the counter slowly, making placating hand gestures and her mouth is moving but no sound is coming out. oh wait yea extreme panic attacks do that to you... or it could be the drugs, it's definitely the drugs you're somehow on.

That same hideously alien yet enchanting new and beautiful color you've been seeing lately glowing from your own and other peoples skin doesn't seem to radiate as strong from Salvia as it does regular humans, peculiar....- wait hold on what the fuck are you doing here again, oh right help.

You have no idea what's happening, reality comes surging back and you hear the end of s sentence "-so just keep calm dear, you will be fine" right, it doesn't look like she's going to beat you for breaking and entering, in fact she seems pretty concerned, so you need to tell her what the problem is. OK you can do this, do your think mouth.

"I KEEP SSSSSSSSSSEEING SSSSSTRANGE COLOURSSSSS!!" Nailed it, there is no way she doesn't know you're on drugs now. This is good, you think, vaguely.

"That's OK, it's ok dear, just-" you feel her gently put her hands around your shaking shoulders and lead you around back "just keep calm, can you remember what you took?"

What the fuck, why doesn't she get a lisp.

>I-I dunno.

>I didn't take anything.

>I think I ssssslithered over a sssssstray needle.

>>38932737
>I-I dunno.
>I think I ssssslithered over a sssssstray needle.

That's what we think right now, right?

>>38932737
>I didn't take anything.
>I think I ssssslithered over a sssssstray needle.

INB4 what's a needle?

>>38932737
>I-I dunno

>>38932737
>I didn't take anything.
Because we didn't. I mean, the fuck?

>>38932737
>Nothing. Anything. What did Ed put in the food anyway?
(Parse this for panicked snake lisping)

>>38932737
>I didn't take anything.

>>38932737
>I didn't take anything.
>I think I ssssslithered over a sssssstray needle.

>>38932798
>>38932789
>>38932773
>>38932762
>>38932756
So you didn't take anything, we just slithered over a stray heroin needle? That's our story right?

Writing.

>>38932737
>>I didn't take anything.
I don't think they even have the technology to make a proper needle here... They'd likely be using a laced quill if anything as a Ersatz needle

>>38932812
Yes it... damn that sounds like the story of a moron junkie...

>>38932812
"I swear guv, slipped an' fell on a poppy guv!"

>>38932812
that's our BEST THEORY.

Because if it wasn't a needle, then what was it, snake alchemist lady?

>>38932224
>Aren't we like 6-7days old at this point? We shouldn't hit rank 3 till the 1 month Mark if we level like spiderbutt or the LN MC
Remember, evos depend on how tough you start out.
We're a tiny snek, not a murderspider, our starter evos come much faster if we are actively doing shit.

Plus, upped difficulty and all.

Once we calm down we should probably let her know she doesn't look as weird as the humans do. I'm sure eventually she'll figure out it's pit vision.

>>38932852
>>38932843
well, to be fair:

Opiates and poppies wouldn't do ANY of this shit. We'd have had to get ourselves into some serious drug.

>>38932880
>Implying we'll calm down in any environment that isn't a poorly lit cave with us alone in it.

>>38932897
It's not too late to change your hikikomori ways!

>>38932942
Japanese pornography has taught me the only way this happens is if we find some nice guy.
Or a not-nice extremely abusive guy.
But the first one ends way better.

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>>38932942

By the way OP, when this quest inevitably ends in a hilarious bad end death of one type or another (i.e. we get put in any situation requiring anything besides murdering pigs), I really hope you do another quest of some form, as you have a pretty awesome writing style.

But for the love of god learn how to properly archive you're so shit at it I actually am unable to make a proper 1d4chan listing for this quest.

>>38932970
Well we found Eddie :3

>>38932942
Indeed this is her new start after all. She can become literally anything.

No matter what she is going to be cring worthy in her social awkwardness.

>>38933001
Believe in snek-chan!

>>38932996
Why not just link it to the moe archives for the threads?

>>38933042
...because I'm a fucking moron who completely forgot moe archives were a thing.

>>38930499
Dammit I missed the last one of these anyone have a link?

>>38933061
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38849264/

>>38932897
>implying a poorly lit cave wouldn't make us freak out because something in the flickering shadows could stalk us

>>38933073
Much obliged

>>38933073
Wait crap seems I've missed two of these can I trouble you for the second or instructions on how to find these myself?

Congratulations OP, your quest has officially been added to the 1d4chan quest thread list. You are now famous in a very pitiful and insignificant way.

>>38933156
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=snake+quest

you search for tags on the suptg.

Or use the moe archive which I do not use.

>>38933156
https://archive.moe/tg/search/tripcode/!Me.qpOlLW2/type/op/

>>38933172
Shhh, he'll get a panic attack!

>>38933176
>>38933179
Thanks again I will now stop cluttering up the quest

>>38933240
This specific quest thread never makes it to saging point anyway so dont worry about it. If you managed to get this thread to sage point through anything besides blind spamming you'd probably make dr unoriginal proud. As well as get a bad huehuehue writing piece about the thread being murdered.

>still wearing oversized sweater that hangs off our shoulders
Dangit, we look like such a fuckin' poor kid.

>>38933320
...we ARE a fucking poor kid...

>>38933320
We ARE a fucking poor kid

>>38932737
Shaking like a leaf you let the older snake lead you towards the back room, it takes a few seconds for your brain to catch up with what she said. What'd you take? What DID you take, you have no idea.

Panic gives you the ability to answer in a raspy cracking voice "I-I didn't, I didn't t-take anything" you can feel tears welling up in your eyes, you don't wanna feel like a filthy drug abuser. You don't even leave the house, what is she going to think of you knowing you're a drug using scumbag, this is eddies friend, you can't just blow this... you already blew it. You notice you've been dropped onto a soft cushion, or at least what passes for soft in a place without Ebay. You're probably crying by this point, you think, it's not entirely your fault this time but still you've definitely buggered up your first impression royally.

(cont)
[spolier]I have no idea how to write drama dear lord help me[/spolier]

Eddie's gonna come back and find that in one day alone we apparently managed to sell ourselves into accidental slavery and took drugs

>>38933320
Are POOR fucking a we kid

>>38933353
You sit there shaking until she comes over with a blanket, wrapping it around you and hugging you through it, you quickly latch onto the blanket and hold it to your chest, shaking and curling up into a ball. Feels nice. "I-I-" you begin but don't quite manage to finish.

As if in realization the older lamia tells you "you're having a panic attack" drug induced panic attack? Syringe drugs in fantasy land do that right?

"i-I th-think I sssssteped on a ssssstray needle" Curled up as you are you managed to glance a bit of confusion on her at the mention of a needle. Then slowly, the older snake moves over and checks your eyes, looking intensely at the pupils for a moment and then stroking your hair. It's.. nice.

"It's going to be fine dear, I think I know what the problem is" Oh thank god, they're soft drugs.

"You're not on drugs" You eyes widen in surprise and you stare at her in confusion.

"You're just having a serious panic attack, I have a daughter, it has happened to her before a few times" You just stare blankly at the sadly smiling face of other snake.

"b-b-but t-the, t-the...."

Her eyes are full of pity when she answers"The colors? oh it... it happens occasionally, some of us develop heat vision later in life and the experience can some times be a little scary I know"

She's says more to herself than you "but for one so young" her voice is really sad for whatever reason, eyes look like they're glistening slightly when you catch a glimpse of them, you get hugged again. It's nice, so you don't complain or flinch in the slightest.
-

You feel a lot better, if eternally ashamed, now holding a cup of hot herbal tea. So you have heat vision now... and all that was for nothing.

You seriously want to curl up and die again.

There's been a bit of an awkward silence between the two of you, the other snake eventually speaks up hesitantly "it's ok if you don't feel like answering but, h-how did you evolve so soon?"

>Evolve, wot?

>Write in?

>>38933365
ARE we fucking a pwoooooah, no.

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?
We Pokemon now

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?

>>38933376
>>Evolve, wot?

Can we also asked her why we suddenly sometimes become a horrible killing machine?

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?

It was an ok-ish game but what' it got to do with all this?

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?
She'll have to explain that before we can explain how it happened.
also,
>Write in?
Try to figure out what day it is. And ask if she can read.

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?
So... Is it safe to say we are poison type? Unfortunately poison type is my least familiar type of pokemon so I'll have to look up stuff on it.

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?

>>38933376
>Evolve, wot?
I ain't no pokemon.

>>38933376
>>Evolve, wot?

>>38933428
>Try to figure out what day it is. And ask if she can read.

Please this so much, we have to know how much time for hunting we got left

>>38933437
>>38933450

OH GOD WE ARE JUST EKANS BACKWARDS! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

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>>38933376
>evolve, wot

>>38933376
>We're playing on challenging mode

>>38932996
I dunno what to say, I'm honored. Thank you anon, there's no real higher form of praise than that of a complete anonymous strangers.

I'm pretty fucking incompetant and lazy, but I think I'll go archive this shit after tonight thread for that.

>>38933179
This also works, it's what I've been using thus far. But if nobody else is doing it I'll go archive some shit later.

Okay guys, if my research is correct we should actively avoid earth elementals and psionic creatures (if they even exist).

>>38933172
AWWW shiet, my life finally has some semblance of meaning. I need to celebrate by drinking heavily tonight.

>>38933502
We should find ourselves some Fae to fuck up

>>38933515
So are we going to get racial magic powers are we still stuck to physical traits?

>>38933519
Also holy cow, poison type really is a niche pokemon type, it really is only super effective on one pokemon type. It seems the big benefit is all the things its resistant to as well as all of the status attacks and dot attacks.

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>>38933502
I'd say eagle folk.

>>38933543
We can find magic stones and be a snek mage. But we really have cool physical strength and I like the idea of a huge snake girl who s physically imposing being a NEET on the inside.

>>38933553
two anon, grass and fairy

>>38933543
Get some horns first, then it might become a possibility.

>>38933409
>>38933410
>>38933422
>>38933423
>>38933437
>>38933443
>>38933450
ok

>>38933428
>>38933463
What day is it, where am I, WHAT am I, who are you.

Writing and taking a piss.

>>38933593
Fairy type wasn't a thing when I was into pokemon.

>>38933601
Unfortunately it's a thing now.

>>38933579
>magic stones
So like classical Indian Naga?

>>38933476
Fucking heat vision.

So great.

Now we need chameleon scales. Or something.

>>38933596
So we didn't win horns last time.

>>38933636
Enhanced heat vision + majestic horns = people go boom through walls, even when invisible

>>38933742
Goddamn sargeras fuck off, ou dam aura is ruining this place's climate - AGAIN

>>38933629
Some of the pokemon they made into fairy type are flat out questionable. I mean Azumaril and its morphs were a pretty solid pure water type and Mr. Mime and Guadavuar were both pretty solid psychic/psychic grass pokemon.

>>38933579
I wouldn't mind practical skill bonuses healing powers like the snakes of Greek Esoterica, or the high master jewelry crafting of nagas, or of the apotropaic white snakes of Japan.

>>38933787
>Gardevoir
>psychic grass
Am I being trolled?

>>38933742
Oh for fucks sake get out.We don't need you ruining this thread like that one banished one......

>>38933817
Let's be a wise, white snek.

>>38933821
I literally haven't played pokemon for at least two generations, I'm behind as fuck and rusty as fuck.

>>38933376
You give yourself a bit of pause when she asks that almost fearful question. Why have you what exactly? And what's up with Salvia, she looks like you just told her your mom died in a car crash, suppressing your blank stare of confusion you manage to answer into your cup of tea, because quite frankly that expression is hurting you.

"...W-what'ssss ev- W-what d-do you mean b-by evolve?" Judging by the mere sound of the response you're getting you don't even want to look at her for fear of drowning in second hand sorrow, what is with this lady.

"Oh....that's.." It just sounds like you told her something really tragic. She gets up and slithers over to you slowly, what the heck is she- "come here"she whispers, now you're being hugged....

For once you don't feel like the one being weird, but it's still really awkward. "d-do you know where your parents are?"

>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>Fuck if I know.

>My moms not around anymore (she's back home probably grieving over your oddly appropriate demise)

>>38933817
So basically bonus to medicine, bonus to jewelry crafting, and bonus to luck? Strange set of perks.

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>>38933843
>>Fuck if I know.

>>38933843
>>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol
I'm a whole six days old! Already got a job.

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

I HAD TO KILL A HERD OF PIGS!

AND FOUGHT MONKEY THINGS, THEY WERE DISGUSTING!

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>>38933843
>>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

Is that not normal?

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>>38933843
>>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

FUCKING SHIT MONKEYS! SHIT MONKEYS EVERYWHERE!

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

That lol

>>38933843
>I have a mom?

>>38933843
Fucked if I know, just woke up middle of the jungle and then went on a rip and tear rampage

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle...
>Fuck if I know.
Seriuosly waking up in any forest not knowing how you got there is terrifying. EVEN WITHOUT MUTANT SHIT APES

>>38933843
>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol
Minus the LOL

>>38933909
They were shit monkeys, shit apes primarily traverse the ground.

>>38933932
Nah, shit apes are the people from /r9k/

>>38933843
>>I woke up inside an egg in the middle of the jungle lol
>And then there were shit monkeys and a crocodile and pigs and now Im here

>>38933909
>>38933897
>>38933896
>>38933897
>>38933892
>>38933887
>>38933885
>>38933880
>>38933879
>>38933878
>>38933871
>>38933865
>>38933854
Welp that wins by overwhelming majority, we just woke up as an egg.

Also not to be a complete fucking cunt, but pokemon is shit.

Writing.

>>38933932
Yeah but birds traverse the sky and on trees, since they are actuall pretty large mutant hybrids it's only save to say they are ugly shit machines. AND WE SHOULD TAKE REVENGE ONCE WE'VE BECOME A DRAGON

>>38933971

>but pokemon is shit

Can we at least steal mega evolutions?

>>38933980
We don't have a pearl yet and we haven't swam up a waterfall

>>38933971
If you didn't want so many pokemon jokes you shouldn't've made it so damn easy for us to make them in this setting.

>>38933971
>Also not to be a complete fucking cunt, but pokemon is shit.


Noooooo I'll never accept it.

File: 111111111197.png (466 KB, 689x709)

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>>38933971
>but pokemon is shit.

>>38933971
It was pretty badass for when it came out. All the secret shit they didn't tell you was crazy, too.

>>38933994
To do:
>Beat up enough pigs for our contract
>swim up a waterfall
>beat people and creatures up till we get a pearl or someone tells us whom to beat up for it
>mutant shit monkey bird vendetta
Seems legit

>>38933971
>pokemon is shit

Dropped
[Spoiler]Not dropping, I love this quest but also pokemon

>>38934031
>Try to minimize spaghetti loss
>Create and then shitpost on the internet

>>38934072
>Create and then shitpost on the internet
Hey that's from my personal list!

>quest is popular enough to have rampant shitposting
Another hallmark of success!

>>38934255
WE DID IT /TG/! HURRAY! NOW ALL WE NEED IS TO START A WAIFU WAR!

>>38934270
Snek a shit, pig a best

>>38934288
Ignorant swine shitmonkey it top waifu

>>38934288
fuk you dirty american piggu

contract waifu best waifu.

>>38934270
Who wants to seduce that spider as soon as we're old enough. Just so we can smirk at that douche steve in the street when we see him.

>>38934315
>implying we're not already old enough to seduce and be seduced.

>>38934315
dear god no, then people will demand I make a smut of that too!

>>38934315
......*Raises hand*

>>38934340
Nah, it's not like you'll deliver anyway

>>38934340
WHERES THE GODDAMNED SMUT HUE!?

>>38934315
No, we seduce ourself.

And make everyone else jealous.

>>38933843
You're starting to get an inkling of what's going on here, it feels like a loaded question, she must think you're mom died or something. Which isn't THAT far from the truth considering you were the one who kicked the bucket... you think.

You're going to have to answer the admittedly painful question sooner rather than later least this nice snake mom think the worst, you're already experiencing an unhealthy dose of doubly second hand imaginary grief. OK think, what can you tell her, you have no idea where or if the snakes who birthed that egg even exist.... might as well just tell the plain truth.

"I-I-er, I don't...w-well...." admittedly waking up alone in the jungle was fucking scary, the memories alone make your voice crack and that's not the kind of impression you really want to give off right now, you don't even know this snake lady.

"I-I just w-woke up... i-in an egg...i-in the ju-jun-jungle" around 6 days ago actually. You start to tear up towards the end there, It was a fucking horrible experience, you almost died several times. It's hard to think about without tearing up and... you are being hugged again. Well it was to be expected. The older snake is mumbling something and pulling you into her breasts. head resting on her shoulder you feel really out of place yet strangely content to just sit there.

(cont)

>>38934370
You notice she's been crying for a while now, you've been sitting here for a few minuets, you teared up yourself, it's even starting to get comfortable. So it feels a tad bit cold when she pulls away.

"s-sorry... it's just... you're so young" Oh god now you feel like you're deceiving her, but you can say anything least everyone get the impression that you're crazy. Great... you wish she'd just hug you again.

"that must have been awful"

You nod after a while, feeling a little bit numb.

>Thank you for the Tea.

>Write in?
ALSO afterwards:
>you need to be going now

>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

>write in?

>>38934386
>Thank you for the Tea.
>you need to be going now

That's enough socializing for one day!

>>38934315
operation ntr steve is go.

>>38934386
We need to ask what day it is OP!

>>38934386
So I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands so please give me steroids and meth

>>38934386
>thank you for the tea. I live with eddie now is he on the up and up?

>>38934386
>>Thank you for the Tea.

>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....
Get all the info we need. Days, whether we are actually wageslaves or if we can quit, if she can read the addresses we got to tell us where the warehouse is, things like that.

>>38934386
>>Thank you for the Tea.
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

Any chance she has a spare sharp stick or rock we could borrow?

>>38934386
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

this so much

>>38934386
>Thank you for the Tea.
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

>>38934386
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....
>write in?
So can you read because I singed a contract and kinda want to know what it says now

>>38934406
GOD DAMMIT I FORGOT.

>>38934386
>>Thank you for the Tea.
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

>>38934386
BONDING TIME!
>Th-thank you for the Tea.
>*snuggle up to snekmom*

>>38934386
>>Write in?
Do you have any hand me down clothes I could borrow?
>you need to be going now

>>38934438
Man you're as good as Haph before I got used to the shenanigans we're doing

>>38934468
This

>>38934386
>>Write in?
Will I be able to evolve these?

(Gropes some milf snake boobs)

>>38934386
>>Thank you for the Tea.
>so I got this job that requires me to go out into the jungle and murder vicious wild animals with my bare hands....

>>38934386
>I met this nice guy named Eddy

>>38934386
Adopt snekmum. Ask to help out/get schooled between antisocial murder sprees.

>>38934439
>>38934468
>>38934431
>>38934426
>>38934422
>>38934417
>>38934414
>>38934412
>>38934401
>>38934504
So thanks for the tea, do you know a guy named Eddie (inb4 we all play matchmaker)? and so about this job I found? Also what fucking day is it.

Do we even have a nickname for your QM yet?

>>38934531

She's gonna go all protective on us and try to keep us sheltered. I just know it.

>>38934610
that's acceptable.

>>38934610
>inb4 instead of tsunDAD we get yandere MOM

>>38934636
in what way has she been yandere?

>>38934610
....I am perfectly okay with this...

>>38934610
Considering we hit evo well before snek puberty she has a good reason. I wonder what evo ranking she is?

>>38934621
>>38934668
It'll make hunting more difficult, though with heat vision sneaky out at night is an option

>>38934678
That's a point I get the distinct impression that evo is usually a late in life/response to hardship type thing

>>38934770
Well, hopefully she won't interfere with our job. And hopefully our job will only take one day a week.

>>38934774
Thing is it varies between monster types. Weaker ones evo more, stronger ones evo less. For example murder spiders usually get 1 in unless they are badasses or crazy. Lamia and harpy should get more 2-3 I imagine. Goblins and lizards should evo 4-5 times on average provided they don't die.

>>38934840
Except goblin evolutions are completely broken and literally make me start incoherently screaming when I look at that chart.

>>38934386
You both sit there not really knowing what to say, yourself mostly out of social ineptitude and as for snakemom you can only guess. You should really be going about now.

"T-thaank you f-for the tea" nailed it, social commentary on yourself always helps when you're feeling down.

"oh it's no trouble, you're always welcome here-" she seems to have come to some kind of conclusion going by that figurative light-bulb that lit up above her head "speaking of which... do you have anywhere to stay, you can stay here if you like dear I really wouldn't mind" Someones suddenly talkative.

"oh- I-I ah.....-" you stutter quietly "I'm- I'm ssssss-ssstaying w-with a m-man named Ed"

Her face lights up in surprise "You know Eddie?" and so began the long and laborious process of stuttering out how you know who Eddie was, it took a lot longer than it had any right to take, you need to practice you speaking skills when you're out killing some ferocious wild animals sometime. She also made you another cup of tea.
(cont)

>>38935008
Like this perchance?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVdP2hcnxmo&feature=youtu.be&t=21m44s

>>38935019

Thankfully you now know what evolutions are after a long and painfully awkward chat where certain blatantly obvious conclusions were avoided like the rancid black death.

You finish off the last of your tea, it's strange how lamia, or naga as you've learned you evolved into, can actually still enjoy herbal tea. right now you've relapsed into a significantly less awkward than before, almost comfortable silence. Although Salvia still wears a frown on her face and is clearly stuck deep in thought. There's just one more pressing matter you need to attend to before you have to leave.

"c-can (I a-ask).... w-what d-day is it?" This whole alien language thing as understood as english is still a bit confusing, sometimes you'll second guess yourself mid sentence and change course rather awkwardly. Although you used to do that anyway so....

"Oh, it's Fredas....why do you ask?" A curious expression, that was a bit out of the blue you must admit.

So why are you asking, that's a good question. failing to think of something that won't set her off you decide to just answer quickly "I-I, I g-got this job... a-and....-"

"what?!? Oh dear, dear you're only a week old you don't need a job you need a home" but you also need money for shit you want to buy, now she's asking politely in a very strained voice to see your contract.

>Snake-mom plz. I'm a productive member of society, and this is the complete opposite of how moms are suppose to act in your experience.

>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>Write in?

>>38935008
Oh god don't remind me anon...

>>38935038

>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>Snake-mom plz. I'm a productive member of society, and this is the complete opposite of how moms are suppose to act in your experience.

>>38935038
>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>>38935038
>>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.
Guilty admissions ho

>>38935038
>>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

Eddie comes home and the snakes in his house seem to be multiplying

>>38934660
>mom sheltering us because she thinks we've just been lucky
>gets all over protective
>we have a bad feeling about not hunting for money so we can repay eddie
>mom breaks our back so we can't slither out and hunt
I know that' s paranoid...

>>38935038
>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>>38935038
>I-I left it at eddies
>Snake-mom plz. I'm a productive member of society, and this is the complete opposite of how moms are suppose to act in your experience.
, under the mat.

>>38935008
Well anyone doing a goblin evo chart would have to retool them to make them not insane obviously. Much like REQM did to arachne so we didn't end up as spider queen during 3rd evo. I figure ogre level would be like 6 evos or more.


>>38935038
I need to pay Eddie back, he says I don't but I won't live on charity. I'm pretty good at hunting things.

>>38935038
>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>>38935038
>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.

>>38935038
>>I-I left it at eddies, under the mat.
>Write in?

I want to thank Eddie somehow, and that was the only way I could figure out how...

>>38935097
This.

>>38935038
We need it read, be it by Eddie or snekmom. Doesn't matter. In fact lets go see if Eddie's there right now. Snekmom will want to talk to him anyway and now's a good a time as any.

>>38935008
What/where are these evolution tables from?

>>38935097
>>38935095
>>38935091
>>38935090
>>38935088
>>38935083
>>38935080
>>38935075
>>38935074
>>38935065
Yep it's at Eddies.

>>38935082
Jesus anon. Get to work on writing me some smut pronto.

Writing, after I take a brief break walk about to ensure I don't die of blood clot related ailments.

>>38935038
See >>38935097
The man nailed it

>>38935139
Taking some acetylsalicylic acid?

>>38935139
>Jesus anon. Get to work on writing me some smut pronto.
I've been having urges to, but I've got a stuck-up principle that I can't stand breaking the character. So on spiderstuff I'm getting nope because the only spiders we got are civilised and wouldn't do that, same for momsnek.

Well maybe Katie shlicking in a dark corner or vore by a random non-monstregril snake

>>38935250
I can see that,[spoilers] get too it.[/spoilers]

Writing.

>>38935139

>Jesus anon. Get to work on writing me some smut pronto.

Careful what you wish for.

>>38935250
>Eddie and snekmom having ass-slappin' freak sex, while Katie embarrassingly watches from a dark corner, unable to stop from touching herself.

>>38935275
God fucking dammit. Twice in one thread.

>>38935250
Is that you Papa-N?

>>38935313
got leave those s of the end of spoilers Doc.

>>38935250
What about gentle momdom?

>>38935250
You could probably do an entire short text on Katie simply trying to figure out how to shlick one out with her new anatomy

>>38935313
>not using 4chanX
>or using it but not knowing that you can highlight and hit ctrl+s to wrap text in spoiler tags

>>38935139
I'm actually working on one right now where Katie gets in the reptilian version of "heat" and her urges overpower her and she goes after an adventurer passing through the village. Royally flubbs it and winds up poisoning and, as innocently as possible while snake-chan has the wheel, rapes the poor confused man. Most of it so far is her paniking about how to approach someone who she considers a romantic interest.

So what type of guy would Katie be into? Bishonen Elf? Super Saiyan looking dudes? Any particular features like hair or face that makes her snakey parts quiver?

>>38935370
>Bishonen Elf
Come on you know this is the answer

>>38935370
From what my comics on this subject display:

Anyone in a dateable range paying romantic attention to her.

Goddangit anon you better post that at some point

>>38935402
Though she does have leanings towards this kind of thing for sure.

>>38935370
Athletic, Shepards son types.

>>38935318
No, I never namefagged.

>>38935364
Well. That would also require me to figure that anatomy out first.
Proobably something like vagina in human place with snake cloaka that is pretty much just an anus down the tail.

>>38935366
Don't even need chanx. Seriously, most of it's stuff is native now.

>>38935370
It's not rape if it's an Elf

>>38935446
Gas the elves, race war now

>>38935428
>shepards son
Oh jeez. That's the heavy stuff.
>>38935436
Snake cloaca 100% is the best way to do it. Fuck this 50/50 shit, I say. Though I don't know if we really should be talking about this.

>>38935436
Fair, it's been a while since I used native. ccd0's 4chanX fork is still super handy though

>>38935135
I'd love to know myself.

>>38935250
Man I'm I glad he didn't reply to you, that spoiler made me cringe.
>>38935275
Then that happened...

File: Goblin_rank_up.png (430 KB, 701x616)

430 KB PNG

>>38935497
There is the one from Re:Monster the Manga.

And I think the person running Re:Monster Spiderbutt made a few trees as well. But I don't know about anything else.

>>38935459
You.You i like

>>38935135
>>38935497
The Re:Monster EX, Re:Lizard and Re:Snake quest are based a lightnovel getting adapted into manga called Re:Monster.
In it, the MC is a guy that gets reincarnated into a goblin in a world in which monsters evolve like pokemon.

These quests have taken reincarnation and monster evolutions angle but went with original on everything else.

LN later devolves into 2edgy4you wankfest, so everybody pretty much spits on it and just takes the cool stuff from before it got shitted up.

>>38935581

...May I ask how it devolves into an edge fest? I like the manga, but if it's going to turn out shit I may reconsider.

>>38935581
I was reading the translated version, thanks for saving me the hassle.

Beginning was nuts, sucks that the author fucked it up.

>>38935622
He takes it's not rape if it's an elf way too seriously

>>38935038
In the heat of the moment, or perhaps due to some instinct born from living with a biological lie detector your entire life you end up spilling the beans almost immediately.

"i-it'ssssssss at e-eddies" but seriously fuck this lisp, and you only wanted a job because you had to pay Eddie back. You don't want to live off of selfless charity from people who already have so little. You mean, sure you did that pretty much all your life with your own mother, but that's different.... you think. And now you're sad again, fuck.

(cont)

>>38935622
Well remember in the start of the manga he mercy kills the goblin-making raped women?

He later gets into a war with elves, captures a bunch of them and reinstates the rapecamp.
And the author claims that it's totally morally clean because they agreed to it. After getting drugged up on aphrodisiacs and left to sit in and go crazy for a while.

File: 337.gif (538 KB, 400x263)

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>>38935746
There's something really scare about a mother fighting a perceived injustice against a perceived newborn little girl, even if it's not hers. And you feel bad for inadvertently troubling her like this, but you can't help but feel she's getting into some kind of vendetta here, for your sake no less. It's as touching as it is worrying, you grimace with guilt even as you do the snake equivalent of power-walking to keep up with her, all the way back to Eddies house.

"w-wait- p-pl-pleassssse it'sssssss n-not-"

"It'sss ok dear, I'm jusssst going to take a look" oh lord now everyone is hissing. And she keeps saying that every-time you try to stop her, it's incredibly disconcerting.

Finally you follow her inside while she makes almost herself at home, she takes a deep breath and asks in a very strained voice"w-where is it darling?" You can swear you can see the wrinkles forming on her face.

"u-under t-the mat" you point, keeping well out of her way.

She finds the thing and takes a look, stares blankly. You think something just broke, oh Jesus was that an eye twitch...

You stand there fidgeting apprehensively, wondering how you're ever going to repay Eddie at this rate. Finally she replies in an icy cold voice "you wait right here ssssssweetie, I'm... I'm going to have a chat with the bald man"

That was scary. Your spine is tingling, dem chillz, you sincerely hope this doesn't end in blood. Although your hopes die with her rapidly disappearing tail as she charges out the door. Well fuck, you think you heard something muttered about 'sick' 'child' and 'jungle'.

>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.

>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?

Snakemom is awesome as hell

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?
We need some alone time....

>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?
We are not a social creatures. Lets let momma snake handle this.

>>38935749
Oh and also the background gets elaborated. Turns out he was a mega-awesome supersoldier that was sociopathic as fuck even before they did mad experiments to grant him his cannibalism power.

>>38935771
>>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.

Its happening!

>>38935771
Sit down and wait quietly. If she's pissed about that, imagine how pissed she'll be if you RAN OFF INTO THE JUNGLE.

>>38935771
>you could probably just go out

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?

This has more spaghetti potential

>>38935771
aw shit.
I don't know what to do about snakemom.

Can we sort of, uh, ask her not to lose us our job?

Or just sort of waste time worredly?

>>38935771
Curl up.
Try not to cry.
Cry a lot.

>>38935771
>>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.

>>38935749
What. I thought he was actually carving some sanity out of that place and we'd see awesome politics, slice-of-life, and some decent trope reversal. Fuck his shit.

>>38935370
For the love of god anon you'd have better post that at some point.

>>38935461
I'm fine with this

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?

>>38935827
But just think of the spaghetti when we come back from the jungle with an armful of pig and say 'look, we can totally do this!'

>>38935771
>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?
HUEG SNEK NAO

>>38935771
>You could probably just go out and finish your job while she's out and about doing business. Hopefully everything will work out just fine right?
Snakemom is Basedmom

>>38935846
>>38935461
"OH FUCK WHERE IS IT" gotta be hilarious.

>>38935827
Baldy cowering before snakemom's rage, suddenly our protagonist shows up
"hey you can eat tigers r-right?"
Drags in very dead full grown junglecat

>>38935771
>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.

>>38935867
>>38935860
>>38935857
>>38935856
>>38935849
>>38935837
>>38935827
>>38935812
>>38935806
>>38935803
Well this is going to be a spaghetti fest for a spaghetti snek. But hell might as well go out and fight viscous animals as well.

Writing

>>38935871
>panicked searching
I 100% vote for this to go into whatever horrible thing is being made for the pastebins.

>>38935771
>You have to stop snake mom. You need the money and also for her to not go to jail for literal cold blooded murder.
We can probably get out of the contract, at least, but snake-mom shouldn't stuffer just because that manager is an arsehole.

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>>38935919
>viscous animals

>>38935919
Does Eddie have any knives or daggers?

Because we might want to pick one up before we go hunting, it'd be nice to be able to shank the things we constrict.

>>38935919
What's that you said about snekghetti?

>>38935958
we are the weapons I think some sort of game carrying sack would be more useful

>>38935948
actually, yeah.
>>38935919
can we convince the snakemom in any way to not stick her head out so far for this? I worry about random strangermom.

>>38935958
Yeah, we really need to find a replacement for that chunk of obsidian we lost to Magilla Shitrilla.

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>>38935771
NO SNAKE MOM, NO!

>snekmom desperately slurping on baldys dick, In an attempt to get the contract annulled.

Pls

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>>38935370
A powerful Naga could become a Nagarishi, powerful sages that wear enchanted jewelry and has powers of seduction and shapeshifting.
While they do live underneath the earth near demons, they are not demons themselves and are not malicious like the Raksha. Their city is known as Patala, a jeweled paradise deep beneath the earth that is as bright as the surface due to the magical gem lamps.

>>38936190
noooo
we haven't turned it up to grimdark difficulty specifically because of that!

>>38936190
You're not thinking like a naga snakemom shows up with a massive bulge in her stomach and says you no longer have to worry about the contract

>>38936190
It's fine for smut pastebins but not for the actual quest mate

>>38936233
Sounds legit.

Also we are in auto-sage.

>>38936233
That works for me in so many fetishy ways.

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>>38936191
So yes, we could eventually become a semi-divine water spirit and enlightened sorceress of the bila-svargas despite starting off as a socially crippled neet.

>>38936271
>>38936305
Dangit anons get your head out of the gutter that your entire body is in.

>>38935771
Maybe you could.... what if.... fuck she's already complete gone, miles gone. That poor bald administrator. You sit down, feeling defeated and fairly stressed out. How you ever going to repay Eddie now, after everything the literally poor bastard has done for you... and that snakemom, you feel seriously uncomfortable with how far she's willing to stick her neck out for you....

You collapse backwards onto the cold concrete floor and stare at the ceiling, you would have totally bought him carpets, you'd bet he'd love carpets.... but wait.

Wait, wait, wait. What if.... what if you killed two birds with one stone. It's crazy, but maybe you could convince Salvia you're not a child in need of protection AND earn some money at the same time to help Eddie out... by going out and killing shit for quick cash. It... it could work, you think.

You sit up, eyes wide. Yea this could work. You briefly consider ransacking the house in search of a kitchen knife, but you remember Eddie only owns 3 spoons.

Yea you totally need to buy him more cutlery. not quite sure of yourself, but driven with the conviction that you don't wanna live of the charity of poor people, you leave the house and head for the gate in the midday sun.

-------

The treeline gradually appears as the thickness increases. And you have a massive feeling of dread well up as you gaze into the curiously not as dark as before forest. Why the fuck did you ever even consider going back out into this god awful place again?

>Head deeper into the jungle, animals don't tend to congregate here... at least nothing worth catching. 1d100 vs a 20. Dubs (post or roll) is danger.

>Find something small on the outskirts, you might be here all day though. 1d100 vs a 70, no danger but it's more a how long does it take to find 10 rabbits worth of protein kind of roll.

Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>38936325
>>Head deeper into the jungle, animals don't tend to congregate here... at least nothing worth catching

>>38936325
>Head deeper into the jungle, animals don't tend to congregate here... at least nothing worth catching. 1d100 vs a 20. Dubs (post or roll) is danger.