You vomited an arm onto a lunch table....

Then there was that time you had a mental breakdown... and that time you had another mental break down. And all those times you-

You decide a tactical redirection of thought is in order before you die from wholesale teen angst and shame. Salvia's the first thing to come to mind, your mind just pelts you with reason after reason you are bad and should feel bad, a quick check confirms the situation identical for imaginary Eddie.... Salvia's kids? Where is her husband then?

That just begs the question, earlier you discovered you could just fit your entire arm into certain parts of your new anatomy, so how the hell is mating supposed to work? You imagine the guys must look like they have really sad, really long droopy pink hats on their genitalia? Or does the female jack them off then then do the leg work herself-?

The door opens and you throw your arms wide into the air, briefly spazzing out and panicking because holy fuck where are you?!?

A smiling green haired head peeks around the door "dinners ready!" You quickly hug the smelly lavender bath towel to your non-existent chest, blushing furiously.

"Oh no need to be shy, I'm raising two daughters dear, I've seen it all before" 'I'm sure you have' is the first thing that comes to mind. your blush deepens and you wonder what the fuck that looks like with green skin.

She retreats, the sounds of hissy snake chuckles growing quieter as she leaves. You feel like you've discovered sex all over again.

-Cont-

>>39094057

You learned about snake anatomy now you're learning about snake cooking, honestly you half expected a bunch of dead mice but... it's actually a very well made helping of cooked pork.. and they're even using knives and forks.... the smallest snake still isn't back yet.
You feel like the pink elephant in the room as everyone sits eating quietly, not talking much, is this how it usually is? It's probably your fault, yes you definitely think it's your fault. Regardless the atmosphere feels tense and all your movements are in manual mode. You'll have to start eating soon or they'll discover you don't know actually know how to eat with a knife and fork.

>Attempt to use cutlery without decapitating yourself. 1d100 vs a 50

>Just tell Salvia you can't use a knife and fork to avoid the embarrassment.

>They think your a little kid, eat with your hands, it'll totally be fine right?

This twitter thing everyone's talking about - https://twitter.com/DrUnorigional

Difficulty: This crappy quest will have a difficulty setting that you can change at any time if you so wish, just ask, use it tactically.

>Easy mode: (Half XP) You get 5 dice rolls, best roll taken, the entire world is sunshine and rainbows. Only lasts for 5 in game story posts.

>Normal (defult): (Normal XP rates and encounters.)You get 3 rolls, best dice taken.

>challenging: (Double XP!) You only get 2 rolls, best of 2.

>Hard mode: (Triple XP and more loot.) You get 2 rolls but we use an average instead of the best one. Bad luck comes your way and shit is getting perilous, pray to the dice gods for mercy.

>Punishing: (Quadruple XP and allot of cool stuff just left lying around. )You only got one shot, make it count. 1 roll. Enemies are written as more competent/ better equipped, E.G if encountered then regular wolves will become larger dire wolves ect. You may get your shit pushed in.

>Nightmare mode: (10 times exp) Awww shit son u gon die. The worst of 3 rolls is taken, the world shifts to grimdderp and bad things happen. You can't turn it off for 10 in game posts.

Fate point: QM steals from khornette quest because he is a filthy hack, you can reroll one dice per session. Only once, and use that instead.

Dub rolls = +30
Trip rolls = +90

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>39094079
>Attempt to use cutlery without decapitating yourself. 1d100 vs a 50

How do we screw up using cutlery?

>>39094102

>Current level = 26
>Difficulty = Challenging. ( I didn't forget, I'm just not changing it )
XP: current/total = level.
For example. 35 exp collected vs a 60 for evolution = level 58

Every 25 levels you get some kind of passive perk that might have an effect on your next evolution. Whatever you choose gets strengthened as and if you evolve.

Experience is given via difficulty and is relative. Remember to use the difficulty setting tactically, you can't raise it until after the fight is over.

>Mundane = 1 or even 0 XP. Shit like killing insects or knitting.
>Easy: 1-3 EXP, picking a lock or successfully hunting small prey.
>Medium: 5-10 EXP hunting larger prey that can fight back but really can't win.
>Challenging: 10-25: Shit that can fight back but not exactly life threatening.
>Threatening: 25-50 Something that could very well kill you and puts up a fair fight. 1V1 me faggot.
>Deadly: 50-100+ a (much?) larger/stronger opponent that may have the odds stacked in their favor

>>39094115
You'd be surprised.

>>39094079
>They think your a little kid, eat with your hands, it'll totally be fine right?
Just be quick about it

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>39094079
>Attempt to use cutlery without decapitating yourself. 1d100 vs a 50

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>39094079
>>Attempt to use cutlery without decapitating yourself. 1d100 vs a 50

Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>39094079
>Attempt to use cutlery without decapitating yourself. 1d100 vs a 50

>>39094222
>>39094191
>>39094190
>>39094131
>>39094115
>58 and a 10
You don't die.

Writing

>>39094190
>>39094191
>>39094222
Hey, OP, I've got a request. Is it possible for us to have our in town non XP earning stuff be three rolls, and our fighty, monster punching stuff be two? It doesn't make sense for us to only get two rolls for double XP when there's no XP for us to earn, unless you give us points for when we fuck up socially.

>>39094079
>>Just tell Salvia you can't use a knife and fork to avoid the embarrassment.

we forest child

>>39094346
But I want to see us fail miserably at using utensils and have to be taught how to hold them. After all we're like a week old.

I wonder how long it'll take before we realise that even if there was a computer in this godforsaken land we wouldn't know how to use it anymore

>>39094079
>They think your a little kid, eat with your hands, it'll totally be fine right?

>>39094079
Have you guys abandoned the wage slave path yet?

>>39094717
Im looking to go hunt at the next chance, we know it's a valid job and don't want to stress finding a different one. Even if we have to sit in his store with corpses till he pays us to leave

>>39094717
Snekmom put an end to that right quick.

>>39094753
We could always try to ask Salvia for a job searching for ingredients. That way we can also hunt while out there.

>>39094760
Thank god. It's bad enough we aren't following around adopted dad everywhere like some kind of annoying beggar. Instead deciding it would be fun to get a job and manage money.

Then again I never voted.

>>39094841
Get a load of this guy
>he doesn't even want to kill animals for small change

>>39094079
While the others eat you're staring at the knife and forks like they were a covered in lube and smelled funny, you shakily pick them up with painfully unnatural hand movements due to the crippling level of self-awareness you have going on. You might not be trapped in the past but now you're trapped in the present. Salvia's shirts also smell like lavender, you should know because you're wearing one. God you hate lavender.

"Do you need any help?" the larger snake asks in a mostly cheerful yet... ever so slightly strained voice? Are you reading that right? Must be your imagination.

"n-no t-thanks" You got this. You raise the knife and fork, shaking like a disgruntled old man with Parkinson performing brain surgery on himself because fuck the government and their mental implants making him epileptic- back on track, you need to use the knife and fork, you can do this Katie.

You manage to slowly cut off a slice of pork that may or may not be too big, is it considered rude to gape your mouth at the dinner table? It escapes you a few times but you eventually manage to spear it after one two many painfully loud clinking sounds. You got this, you totally got this.

You hate eating in front of people, you always used to eat alone at school behind the bleachers...

At the far end of the table Sirena coughs, looking a little bored "You OK mom?"... You feel a little more self conscious now that you know you're making people nervous....why would she-

"Y-yes, I'm fine, nothings wrong, why are you asking" oh wait. wait no.

"Just quiet is all" Salvia nods but you're too preoccupied to notice. You think she may have heard you experimenting in the bathtub earlier, but that's impossible, no- no-
-cont-

>>39094790
This is how my smut bin starts.
Sounds like a good idea, we can learn alchemy too

>>39094057
>earlier you discovered you could just fit your entire arm into certain parts of your new anatomy
Buuh?

>>39094975

-
You are Salvia, proud owner of the only alchemy shop in town and you recently took in a poor baby girl who's went through hell and back, but you're having a maternal freakout. On the one had she's a poor traumatized child who needs love and care but on the other she's can look you straight in the eye and the only way she could have gotten that big that quickly in the jungle does not involve foraging. You had a sort of internal panic attack and planted yourself between her and your baby just before you started eating, you hate yourself for doing this, but it's just not something you can help. You know how triggering your older daughter can be.

So you're going to sit here pretending everything is alright, and you won't let either of them out of your sight. Katie seems to be having trouble with her food but is soldiering on, she's turning green-er with embarrassment, so adorable you just want to hug her.

>Ask Katie a question [Write in]

>Ask your daughter why she came home early today and try not to get upset.

Well switch back soon after. Op is a shit writer and didn't know how to convay relationships, and Katie just thinks you saw her masturbating so she'd never figure it out.

>>39095004
>Ask your daughter why she came home early today and try not to get upset.

>>39095004
>>Ask Katie a question

Did she ever get to know just how old we are? She should ask, then freak out More at about a week or so

>>39095004
>She thinks we're a wild killing machine who wants to eat her kid
At least we're cute.

>>39095004
>"So I take it you enjoyed your bath?"
Accidentally loaded questions are the best

>>39095112
So much this.

>>39095082
She did yea, that or she knows she's under a month old by the lack of breasts.

>>39094518
;~;

>>39095004
>Ask your daughter why she came home early today and try not to get upset.
>Ask Katie a question [Write in]
"Well, Katie, you've been talking about getting a job in order to pay Eddie and me back. So I was thinking, would you like to help me with my alchemy shop? I'll send you out to get some ingredients around town and clean up the store, and once you've shown you can handle yourself, you can go out past the town a bit more for some special items I might need."

>>39095004
>Ask Katie
>So how was your bath?

Isn't Salvia 4' 8" from torso up? Geeze Katie is growing fast.

>>39095004
>>39095112
seconded.

>>39094997
Seconded.

WUT? Did I miss the snek quest OVA or something?

>>39095148
>Get baby out of wage slavery work
>Hire her as wage slave

>>39095148
>>39095112
These two.

>>39095148
>>39095067

>>39095112
>>39095137
>>39095161
>>39095210
>>39095224


So loaded questions and Asking your daughter about school while Katie mentally implodes?

Writing.

>>39095224
No she just took a bath.

>>39095004
>Ask your daughter why she came home early today and try not to get upset.
>Ask Katie a question [Write in]
So how old are you, exactly?

>>39095224
When she tried to remove the arm from her throat a few threads back she found she could stick her arm in her mouth along with the disembodied one. Perverted teenage mind figure stretchiness applies to the lower "mouth" as well.

>>39095302
Thanks for the clarification

>>39095253
You're scary.

And then Katie realizes they are eating the boars she killed and not the deer.

>>39095004
The atmosphere is uncomfortably tense in your comfy little home, or at least it is for you and Katie, your daughter seems preoccupied with her hair. That's good... if rude.

You should really start a conversation, something cheerful.

"So Katie, did you enjoy your bath?" because of course she did. Oh that's adorable, she's blushing and hiding behind her hair.

Kids do the silliest things, you need to do something about that shyness though, looks uncomfortable. Is it because she got the bath dirty?

"Oh Kate, you don't have to be embarrassed, you haven't done anything wrong: everyone needs a good scrubbing now and then" That girl is so strange.

Accepting the fact you're not going to get a conversation out of her you turn to your daughter "Sirena-" She avoids your gaze, you knew it "...How was your day"

"...fine..." You don't want to have this argument in front of Katie, but you have to ask "why were you home so early?"

"...No reason..." it doesn't hurts that she looked at you like roadkill, it hurts that she didn't look at you as if you were roadkill. Good thing dinner is nearly finished.

>Let it go, you'll wait until later.

>Katie could you step outside for a second i need to have a word with my daughter.

>>39095148
Voting against this.
Christ, why do you people want to work 9 to 5 in a magical setting so much?

>>39095595
>implying snake-mom letting a traumatized child into the forest to collect her ingredients a day after she rescued her from becoming a wage slave is going to happen.

Don't worry anon.

>>39095587
>Let it go, you'll wait until later.

>>39095587
>Let it go, you'll wait until later.

>>39095595
Easier to self-insert if there's some matching drudgery from our actual lives, duh

>>39095595
Dunno, but they enjoy it.

I remember in Magic Shop Quest people were fuggen dedicated.

>>39095587
>>Let it go, you'll wait until later.

>>39095595
Because I kind of want to be able to BUY SHIT.

TA-DA.

>>39095587
>Let it go, you'll wait until later

>>39095629
>Implying she isn't going to have her collect nearby herbs while observing from behind a tree just out of sight so she can watch a little girl pick flowers.

But just as thought, the big fear is that we murdered someone or another and thats why we evolved, when fortunately for us the only thing we murdered was a nonsapient shitmonkey (if they were sapient than they deserved it anyway for being shitmonkeys)

>>39095637
>>39095645
>>39095658
>>39095682
let it go, let it go, BOTTLE IT ALL UP INSIDE!!!111

Writing.

And we'll switch back to Katie.

>>39095587
Let it go

>>39095712
But wait, what if those shitmonkeys WERE someone?! What if they were some kinda collective consciousness that we MURDERED for GAINS?

>>39095777
...my god... what if those monkeys were the collective consciousness of /b/!?

>>39095825
>shit-flinging carrion-monkeys
That's about as accurate a description as you can get in four words to be honest

>>39095777
Gotta get those gains brah.

Glutesss for the Ssssslootsssss.

>>39095777
We only killed 2 of the mob, we murdered like 10 pigs though.

>>39095825
Good we did the world a favor.

>>39095825
>collective consciousness of /b/!?
I regret nothing then

Oh shit, snake quest
>those opening revelations
I now know things about katie that were secret before. Neat!

THough seriously we're making a growing tab here. We owe eddie at least 23 gold, and we have to wash those blankets.

I told you snekmom was afraid of us, but noooooo

when we evolve again she's gonna freak the fuck out if we aren't a well adjusted member of society by then

Katie should slip up and call her mom on accident once.

>>39096017
>One month old Katie hype about getting an A-cup
>Runs off
>Comes back 6 foot 8 from torso up with freaky scale patterns and jacked.

>>39096090
Snekmom would probably nose bleed and pass out.

>>39096165
Then Katie would think she's more of a terrible person because clearly snake mom was disgusted by that and cry

>>39096151
.....I'm fine with that....

>>39096090
B-but what about when our real snek mom shows up? She's coming one day right? We should ask her that! She'll know. She probably even knows our mom! She's a snek too!

>>39096151
Saddest part is, she only upgraded to a B.

>>39096207
She's either dead or a snake mom that abandons snake babies, current snake mom, best snake mom

>>39096187
What a life.

>>39096207
We didn't already ask her yet? We should really do that. She's sure to know. Adults know everything.

>>39095587
No, you'll talk about it later. You don't want to have that argument again in front of little Katie. Who for some reason is being painfully silent. That's a little bit worrying actually.

You feel the intense urge to pick up your daughter and run but put that feeling away and flagellate yourself mentally, you shouldn't ever think like that, it's disgusting. No you'll be polite and let her maul you to death while you hug her so your daughter can run away... DAMNIT Salvia what is wrong with you!!

-
You are Katie black and your heart is currently obstructing the blood supply to your brain by virtue of being lodged in your throat. She heard you masturbating. You blew it. This is either going to get really awkward or judging by the way she said it was fine pretty molesty, you don't which you'd prefer. Would she show you the bad touch?

You're staring at what little remains of your pork chops like they were actually your mom's aborted fetus nobody told you-you were eating until you were allowed to pull the blindfold off. Good think your hair is just long enough to cover your face if tilted directly at the ground. Focus on the future Katie not the past, that was your promise to yourself, not all you can imagine is masturbation jokes hovering like a black cloud over your head or a sore pair of nake lips if you know what OP means

-cont-

>>39096243
Exactly.

>>39096237
She didn't abandon us! She just.. forgot where she laid us.. yeah!

>>39096245

You become vaguely aware of people talking, realizing you zoned out again. "katie?" Her voice sounds strangely concerned in a way you can't quite place. Worried concern?

"Are you going to eat your meat dear?" Eat your meat suddenly sounds really dirty. You need to look natural, get it over with. You mechanically scarf down whatever is left on your plate.

Snake-mom collects your dishes with what seems to be apprehension? She looks a bit stressed out. What did you- oh you know what you did, but why is it stressing her out so much? Is she one of these anti-masturbation nuts? You're going to get a lecture later aren't you?

You notice Sirena has already left the table and went into the sitting room. Salvia says she wants a word with her later before she heads towards the shop to re-open for the rest of the day.

>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.

>Go to your room to stare mindlessly at the ceiling for hours on end, try not to cry. Probably end up masturbating more instead.

>>39096269
That's not our room. It's the room of one of the sisters. We have to give it back.

>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.
Tell her she can have her room back, and we'll take over sleeping in the sitting room. It's only fair.

>>39096269
>>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.

>>39096269
>>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.

>>39096269
>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.


Damn it OP you are making my job as a smut writer easier but you are taking material away from me, Damn it all.

>>39096269
>You don't have a room here you can't do that.
>Leave get out of here, you need to be productive. If you are busy people wont talk to you.

>>39096269
>Ask Salvia if all sneks are supposed to have moms.

>>39096269
>Follow Sirena into the sitting room, maybe you can start up a convers- ah who are you kidding. You can still try.

>>39096269
As tempting as Snekneet masturbation is...

>go talk to Sirena

>>39096311
>taking material away
You're not doing a very good job if that's taking your material away.

>>39096302
>>39096312

I'm surprised you caught that anon, I was going to have her come over and ask wtf we were doing in her room.

>>39096312
I like your write in. That kind of poor decision making is exactly in character.

Anybody else want to change their vote to this later?

>>39096302
>>39096308
>>39096309
>>39096311
>>39096357
looks like we're trying to start up a conversation, but we can always go outside and try to get a job later.

Writing

>>39096269
>Ask Silvia where when our snake Mom is coming for us.
>Follow Sirena

>>39096417
I want to do something productive after we actually ask the people here what some productive things to do are.

And we need to pick up our shirt. So I guess we can do that.

>>39096245
>You feel the intense urge to pick up your daughter and run but put that feeling away and flagellate yourself mentally
Is she feeling an urge to run away from us?

>>39096408
Well mostly he is making me need to rework my filler, unless people don't mind Katie having similar thoughts on different days.

Trust me it'll be fine.

>>39096446
What we need to do is calm our shit and grow up. We've got the perfect chance to do it. Trying to rush and be productive with someone like Katie is just going to keep her in this sort of weird self loathing spiral.

>>39096446
That's right we do need our shirt. Tell snekmom we need to go get it. Let's see if she lets us go by ourselves

>Find an empty room and practise talking to ourselves to see if we can get over that fucking lisp already fuck why is it alwayssssss usssssssss

>>39096446
NEW CLOTHES!

>>39096480
>>39096506
step A. calm our shit
step B. give room back
step C. calmly collect shirt.

Spaghetti snek goals.

>Find explanation for strange world. Including "evolving?" "Level up?"
>Aquire worthwhile goal or quest.
>Achieve maximum evolution.

>>39096463
It's just like we figured. Salvia's afraid she just brought an emotionally damaged megapredator snakegirl into her house and we might just kill her and her entire family if we have a really bad day

>>39096572
Well, not much we can do to dissuade her of that.

Other than, I don't know, get assaulted a few more times and continue not defending ourselves.

>>39096269
You almost retreat back into your room to beat your head against a wall before you remember that no, not your room, Sirena's room. That now smells like deer because of you. That's going to be an awkward conversation you'd want to avoid.

You could always just stay here, but Salvia can very easily see you from the counter if she just turns around, saying as there's a bunch of beads clicking and dangling about in the stead of a door. Nice touch. You don't want Salvia to look at you right now after she knows what you did.

Sitting room it is, or at least you assume it's the sitting room, maybe you were just in the sitting room. This is a storage closet full of exotic ingredients with a opening for light in the ceiling. They actually have glass too, neat, there's also a small snake looking at you expectantly with just a small frown, sitting slumped against a sack of potatoes which you feel may or may not qualify as alchemy agents.... You realize you followed her into a one way storage closet, here comes that conversation you wanted to avoid.

"i-I- uh-...ha-hi"

"hello" she raises an eyebrow.

You wring your sweating hands nervously, feeling like you just fucked up, and you kinda did because you can't leave now, that'd be rude.

>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?

>Ask her why she came home early.

>Write in

>>39096670
>>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?
Were going to get tackled or some shit aren't we...snakemom thinks were a murderer.

>>39096670
>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?
Just the basic plensantries, you can talk about the weather next right?

>>39096463
No, she's afraid for her daughter. She has the urge to pick up her daughter and relocate her, then go back and hug Katie.

>>39096572

>>39096631
We can tell her we don't have any idea what we are, and that this whole world is different and new for us. Also that we've had no localized education for this strange new life.

Which is all true, and would severely help us to ask.

>>39096670
>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?

>>39096697
I think we can disavow her of that idea in due time.

>>39096670
>>Write in
C-can I swap to sleeping on the couch?

>>39096670
>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?

>>39096697
It'll be jokes

>>39096670
>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?

>>39096717

This we gotta give her, her room back

>>39096670
Well this is going to be awkward if Salvia turns around to find her daughter cornered by us

>>39096670
>>Write in
"So, your Mom was talking about Evolving. Could you tell me a bit about that?"

Lead in to things like what kind of evolutions she has, what her mom and sister has

>>39096749
This.

>>39096711
And this

>>39096749
>>39096670
>>SSSSSSSSSooo....... how aaaaare you?
Followed by

>>39096749

File: Spoiler Image (1.93 MB, 320x454)

1.93 MB GIF

>>39096711
Keep it short though guize, katie isn't the most fluent speaker.

-

I'm taking a brief break to unclot the blood inside my ass cheeks while possibly pondering on whether or not to buy a new chair.

that pictures just for show, i am sorry for the delay

>>39096670

Eh, swapping vote to this. >>39096749

>>39096807
>>39096793
>>39096786
>>39096749
So ask about evolution after generic greeting.

Writing

>>39096670
>>39096749
This, please. Might be a nice way to break the ice.

>>39096865
Yeah. We'll have to ask at some time and maybe Salvia can be put at ease if we're open with her.

"I know I'm different, what might happen to me when I get older?"

>>39096670
She has this curious sort of expression on her face that seems to you like a mix between a look of casual disinterest and that of someone who just watched you spit in their food. This is going great.

"sssssssoo....-h-how're y-you"

The same expression greets you "Fine" Oh wow she's really moody about something. Is it something you did? it's probably because you came in here, why else would she come in her but to brood. Regardless you need to think of something to talk about before you end up making everyone supremely uncomfortable.

"ss-ssssso-" she mostly ignores you "w-what t-thissss u-um....what'sssss t-this e-evolution t-thing"

Her eyes glance at you and she frowns, glowering "what about it?"

Oh fuck what did you say? "u-um" theres a brief period of silence wherein she looks you up and down, her annoyed expression slowly wistful

She sighs heavily "you know, you're really lucky"

What?

"You got to go outside, my mom's never going to let me go outside"

What?

"I wish I was like you"

>u fukin wot m8? (or Katie equivalent)

>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face

>....OK....Thanks, I guess.

>Write in

So... Finally finished a smutbin: http://pastebin.com/Z7S9enSE
36k characters / 6.6k words
Don't read it all at once

I'm tempted to write a followup but that took a while as it was so no guarantees. It happened in several disjointed sessions and I couldn't be bothered to reread all of the previous stuff but hopefully the characters are consistent throughout.

Oh, and there was a bit I was writing on my phone on the train. I think I caught all the incorrect words that the swype gave me but I probably didn't.

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
It's REALLY SCARY out there!

>>39097133
>>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
>Write in
Well, I'd trade that for having a mom...

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
>u fukin wot m8? (or Katie equivalent)

ARE YOU INSANE KID? THERE'S SHIT MONKEYS OUT YONDER DUMBASS!

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
>Rant more about how your first few days were terrible
>Realy rant hard and angrly

>>39097183
>>39097133

Something like this.

>>39097133
>>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face

Its like fucking /b/ out there!

>>39097150
ALL DEBTS HAVE BEEN PAYED, PRAISE THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

Gonna have to read the shit out of it when the quest is over. Good job smut-anon.

>>39097150
Ágimus tibi gratias, omnípotens Deus,
pro universis beneficiis tuis,
qui vivis et regnas in
sæcula sæculórum. Amen.

>>39097183
Second

>>39097211
I'm not Hue mind you. He stills owes us all, the lazy motherfucker.

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung in my face...

>but I would trade it for a quiet life of love, onee-san

>>39097244
I hereby grant you the honorary title of huehuehue, you may now become the shitposter you have always wished to be!

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
>u fukin wot m8? (or Katie equivalent)

>>39097133
>I don't think you know about the shit I've had flung at my face
>bond over disgusting shit-slinging monkey monsters

>>39097273
Why would I ever want to be become YOU?

>>39097133
>u fukin wot m8?

>>39097157
>>39097183
>>39097184
>>39097189
>>39097193
>>39097200
>>39097253
>>39097282
>>39097283


Well I wish I had my mom, I dunno where she is.

Writing

>>39097273
Why would a successful deliverer of smut want to take the name of a failed one?

>>39097273
Fuck off attention whore.

>>39097150
Well done, good sir. Now I need to work on finishing my debts.

Also

>>39097133
>Shit Monkeys, SHIT MONKEYS

>>39097297
Dr., I....

>>39097133
>my mom's never going to let me go outside
What are you doing all day then ? Must be boring since you don't even have intern...hrm. live in a shitho... damn, socializing is hard.

>>39097244
>>39097273
Seing the passing of a nameon 4chan
Glorious.

>>39097133
You can't believe what you just heard. She really has no idea what kind of nasty shit flinging wildlife is strutting around out there looking for somebody, anybody to defecate on, murder and molest in any given order.

"n-no you- you don't w-want that" That was a surprisingly coherent sentence actually.

"of course I do, you got to live outside and do whatever you want". Something feels tight inside your chest, you absolutely fucking hate the jungle. Whatever she just said it's, it's just downright offensive to you.

"y-you d-don't know w-what it'ssss l-like o-out-ssss-sss-ide....."

She frowns and stares at you hard for a moment "hey, you don't know what it's like."

You stare at one another.

"...n-no y-" you try to say before she cuts you off.

"You're just a little kid, you don't know what it's like to be coped up all day and made to sew" What the fuck is this bitch talking about.

"..."

"I hate sewing"

You need to tell this bitch how delusional she is "....m-me too?" well done brain. "....a-at l-leassssst y-you have a n-nice h-house to live in"

Clearly frustrated she looks away "w-well, you never had a mom who made you sew, you got to live out in the jungle and do whatever you want"

The discussion seems to be over, you both sit in silence for a few moments. You have absolutely no fucking clue where that came from, why it was necessary. No she's the stupid kid, there's something that pisses you off about the way she talks about her mother, considering the fact you no longer have one you have an inkling as to why.

It feels like there's an icicle in your chest "w-well a-at- at leasssssst you have a mom".

She doesn't actually reply, she just looks away from you at a particularly interesting potato. You hear Salvia calling your name, probably searching around. She sounds a bit strained.

>leave the storeroom.

>Write in? (anything you want to say or do before you go?)

>>39097150

This was very well written.

>>39097848
>leave the storeroom.
>Go do your things that people with no mothers do.

>>39097848
>Write in? (anything you want to say or do before you go?)
I never even saw her face...

>>39097848
>>Write in? (anything you want to say or do before you go?)
Ssssorry.

>>39097848
>"....Sssssorry, that was uncalled for... bye...."
>Leave

>>39097853
Glad you enjoyed it

>>39097848
>>39097911
Seconding.

>>39097961
Don't guilt her, man. We've already done enough.

>>39097848
>Write in?
> Seven, seven days.

She told us her age earlier, it's only fair.

The dark wood is unkind even to those who live there.

>>39097993
oh, I can support this.
We never did tell anyone but eddie how old we are.

>>39097993
Seconding this deleting old vote

>>39097848
>>39097993
seconded

>>39097848

>>39097993
Supporting, its a good enough comment to make me change my mind about abstaining.

>>39097911
ditto

>Katie is gonna tell Sirena she's 7 days old
>Sirena is gonna call bullshit and tell snek mom we're a liar
>Snek mom is gonna think we're some kind of retard OR some kind of crazy ass mutant stalker that only LOOKS young to get under the defenses of foolish, trusting parents

>>39097993
Damn.

Writing.

>>39097853
That IS really well written, halfway through it as we speak and loving it.

10/10 anon.

>>39097150
Anon you hit too many of my fetishes at once, I don't think I can handle this

>>39098124
Fuck now I need to read it...

>>39098095
I don't know if that is a Damn, that's cold. Or a Damn, you fucked yourself.

But I love it when anons rally behind my write ins.

>>39097848
You turn to leave, not really annoyed so much as drained.

"Sorry" You stop and turn around wide eyed. "...it's just, I've always wanted to go outside... you just...look like you lived more in your short life than I have in mine" Wasn't she meant to be like 4 years old? wow. You need to ask Eddie about this.

"i-i'm only ssss-ssseven dayssss old. i-I-..._ I a-almossssssst died."

"...sorry"

Salvia panics, or at least that what she looks like she's doing when she bursts in the door before taking a moment to compose herself. A single deep breath and long exhale then she speaks "There you are.. I was so worried that...that-" strange place for an awkward pause, she glaces at you "... you'd went outside. Yes don't go outside without telling me, It's dangerous"

Her daughter doesn't say anything, but you can imagine. In a way you feel kinda sorta vaguely bad for her, but you feel worse for yourself. Salvia gently pulls you away asking if you'd like to help out with shop work. You can't help but imagine that gentle tugging as something else being the filthy hikki need to be that you are/were going to be.

>That's it for tonight. Need muh sleep being a britbong and all. Thanks for playing and sorry for the short thread.

>>39098412
aw geez.
See you next time!

>>39098412
thanks for running!

Well, I'm adding that to the "list of shit we owe".
Gotta do something to cheer up that eldest.

>>39098412
Does she really think were homicidal?

>>39098412
>thread end
I'd feel sad if I wasn't long overdue sleep as a fellow britbong. Thanks for running.

Also, I'm glad people seem to like the smut. I was worried I'd put too much non-smut and masturbatory abstract stuff in it

>>39098412
Was hoping for more of a reaction but maybe it bounced right off her seeing as kids are shits.

Thanks for running. Get your rest you filthy limey.

Also to the lewd anon now dubed New Hue. Thanks for the smut. Dan/Dan

>>39098412
thanks doctor.

you da best.

>>39098519
Are you suggesting we aren't?

>>39098549
>NewHue

laughed

>>39098412
Thanks for running, Doc.

When do you think the next thread's going to be?

>>39098570
I'm suggesting we so far haven't killed anything that was actually smart enough to do anything other than throw shit at us.

>>39098519
She'll come around.

Jesus Christ, I figured this was going to be turn into a fucking dragon and kill the jungle quest

Turns out this is becoming emotional rollercoaster quest

>>39098535
Finished reading your fic, it was pretty fucking Top-fap, hit most of my fetishes too.

It was really well written, had good humour, I love the crazy lonely spider rapist Esmeralda, I take it she named a dead animal Gerald?

>>39098601
I have plans tomorrow so either the day after or considering how big a fag I am 3 days, I have that as a mental limit.

Where's the fic

>>39098412
"Bitch, why you trippin'?"

>>39097150
god damn that was a good one.

Thanks

>>39098965
>Tfw my name is Gerald
>Tfw I am an imaginary friend
>tfw I am writing smut too

Aww, man. I missed the thread. I just got caught up and everything.

Aaaand missed the thread again.

>>39103080
They tend to be kind of short. OP needs to plan some. Do some brainstorming and pre-writing. He's good, but rack disciprin.

>>39095595
>work 9 to 5
This isn't 9 to 5, it was go into the forest once a week, kill shit and bring it back. A couple runs at most if the selection is tiny rabbits rather than one solid haul of a deer/boar.

>>39095650
>I remember in Magic Shop Quest people were fuggen dedicated.
That title sounds like /running/ a shop, which is another thing. Everybody wants to be the boss.

>>39096017
>I told you snekmom was afraid of us, but noooooo
Pretty sure nobody ever doubted that.

>>39096229
Letter is size relative to the rest of the body, a 'B' on HUEGSNEK is going to be melons.

>>39096311
>>39096474
An extended writefaggotry over a subject that was merely brushed on in the main quest is perfectly fine venture.

>>39097150
Oh yessssss.
Now we just need some lizard stuff for a full set.

>>39103152
He's also in yurop, so that puts most active time on the board into deep night for him - he dropped off at local 3AM

>>39103575
Was thinking about crackhead abuse/rape/mutilation ending in Katie killing him when Snake-chan has enough of his shit, leading to a purge of the monster girls. Too dark?

>>39103575
Still, I would rather see him do one longer weekly session. As is, it feels like we get nothing done. Granted, I'm not complaining. Spaghetti snek is best snek. Just observations.

>>39103680
Well this is in part due to nature of the snek - instead of running around doing shit like the spider or going on the extended lizardventure, most of the time is allocated to suffering societal panic attacks.

So yeah as much as longer session sometimes would be noice, "getting shit done" is not a metric to measure by.

>>39103663
yeah that's a bit too dark for my tastes

>>39103750
>most of the time is allocated to suffering societal panic attacks.
In that context, surviving through a civilised dinner without a horrible fuckup, counts as something done.

>>39103680
I just want the ironic evolution of becoming a incredibly long spaghetti snaek. And the humor of trying to hide all our length and failing at it.

>>39103956
Until the panic reaches maximum and we just curl up.
Into one compact ball of snek shame.

>>39104649
We then call roll away liked a particular scaly tumbleweed. Blown away by the wind of shame

>>39104649
> Town uses giant ball of snake as a scare tactic.
> Look at our protector, she is "asleep" right now but look at the size of her.

>>39098965
>I take it she named a dead animal Gerald?
Open to interpretation, I never bothered deciding if it was a dead animal or just a figment of her imagination.

I decided to write a really weird fic of this taking many years later.

>>39097150
>Don't read it all at once
Too bad!

Now write more! p-please?

I really think we should do more powerleveling... or at least something productive, so we earn us a place in society

>>39110874
We tried!
But then everybody was all "waaagh child labor" and "how do you dare send a child to kill things" and so on.

Well, we probably can still stick to providing meat for the tables of our surrogate mom and dad as a form of repayment, rather than convert it to cash.

>>39111630
Even if we don't have a contract, dropping by that guy with meat in hand, and just waiting till he pays us to go away will be good enough.

>>39112788
Especially since we'll just tart crrying if we stand there long enough... awesome plan anon.

Dunno if OP is still here, but if he is, have you thought about setting up a ask.fm account so we can shoot annoying questions at you outside of quest-time?

File: groovy.gif (873 KB, 500x275)

873 KB GIF

>>39098412
Gotta tell you Doc, I loved mothering-snek-mode Salvia to begin with, but I'm gonna have to invent a new emotion to handle mothering-the-jungle-snek-beast-so-it-eats-me-and-not-my-snek-babbies-mode Salvia.

For now, you should just feel pretty bassssssssed, Doc!

>>39111630
>>39112788

Good luck with that, you heard Salvia. She doesn't want us to go outside without telling her. She'll do everything she can to keep us from going back to the jungle.

so we don't evolve and get bigger and killier so as to more easily murder her family

>>39115555
we should try tavern wenching.
or I guess tavern maidening.

>>39117216
Just imagine how hard we're going to fuck up due to having a tail in a crowded room!