>>39324701
Places I say things (like imminent threads): https://twitter.com/Predhack

The story to now: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Re:%20Lizard%20EX%20Quest

Character sheet: http://pastebin.com/dLa1ayJX

>>39324701
>>Take his hat <stealth mode>
\If it fails tell him we like it

>>39324701

>Tell him you like his hat

Then while he's distracted by Kuru/Mom/Our adorableness

>Take his hat <stealth mode>

File: 481988712.gif (69 KB, 279x199)

69 KB GIF

>>39324701
>Tell him you like his hat
>Take his hat <stealth mode>

>>39324701
>Hey
>Tell him you like his hat
>Take his hat <stealth mode>

>>39324701
Alrighty need a d100

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>39324940

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>39324940

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>39324940

>>39324942
>>39324962
>>39324966

Stealth fail. Quite badly too.

>>39324940
Those are definitely numbers
>writing

>>39324983
I don't find this to be a problem, especially seeing as we failed so badly he might take it as a joke.

>>39324989
"I like your hat."

The lizard looks at you and you get the impression he hadn't even noticed you were there. A state he is happy to return to as his gaze returns to Kuru.

Well if he's just going to ignore your heartfelt compliment clearly he's not deserving of such a fine hat. You creep closer and around behind him. You try to lose yourself in the field of garbage he's hung all over himself but just succeed in making an awful racket. He steps back and looks at you again.

>Play it off, we were just going outside, not our fault he's hovering over out doorstep like the shadow of death
>Compliment his hat again
>Just bite him
>You're asleep, that's a foolproof alibi
>Other?

>>39325132
>>You're asleep, that's a foolproof alibi

We are a genius

>>39325132
>Compliment his hat again
>Blatantly reach for his hat

>>39325132
>Play it off, we were just going outside, not our fault he's hovering over out doorstep like the shadow of death

>>39325132
>Compliment his hat again
>cling to one of the things like it were a vine and you were sinking into the much

>>39325132
>>You're asleep, that's a foolproof alibi

>>39325132
Compliment hat and try to take it again.

>>39325132
>>Play it off, we were just going outside, not our fault he's hovering over out doorstep like the shadow of death

>>39325132
>Compliment his hat again

>>39325132
I'll I dunno There's not a lot of agreement besides complimenting the hat again...
I guess just roll a d100

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>39325371

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>39325371
How can we fail twice?

Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>39325371

>>39325371
Okay then
>writing

>>39325423
You give the other lizard your best look of confusion as to why he's looking at you. He gives you a similar look back.

"I like your hat," you remind him. Then make your way outside like that was your original intention.

The lizard grunts in annoyance and returns to glaring at Kuru. For her part Kuru seems torn between stopping you from leaving and withering under the hobo lizard's glare.

"I haven't seen him today," Kuru starts explaining. "Maybe Kasha gave him a task?"

"Mahli is well aware that his duties overrule her whims," the lizard snaps, "What could possibly be more important than his job?"

Kuru mumbles something you can't make out but knowing she's friends with auntie it was probably something derogatory.

"What was that?" he asks archly.

"Nothing!"

Seeing that he's thoroughly distracted you double back again. He's clearly not worthy of that hat. You are more careful this time as you ascend the other lizard, and you're probably aided by the fact he wears so much crap. You're getting a bit too big to sneak on top of other lizards now. Except mom. Though you're sure mom is cheating somehow. It requires further testing. Either way you manage to reach the hat while Kuru talks very fast and only panics a little bit when she notices you trying to detangle the hat from all the other stuff around it.

It's a wide brimmed number with a large cylinder on top. Its brim is decorated with bones and vines with a large flower dominating the entire thing. Really its too nice a hat for a lizard this ornery.

"He was also supposed to bring the child with the magic. Where is that one?"
[1/2]

>>39325718
[2/2]
Kuru works very hard to not notice you lifting the hat off his head. A bald patch of scales becomes visible and the change in temperature causes the lizard to stop and feel his head. You're long gone, back out the door, hat in your grasp.

"Where's my hat?"

"What hat?" Kuru asks. You get the feeling she's played accomplice to thefts like this in the past. Her bewilderment sounds too genuine.

"My hat of office!"

"Were you wearing a hat? I hadn't noticed."

"Of course I was wearing a hat the little one-" you hear him turn around with a clatter of shiny things.

He's onto us cheese it!

>Under the house! He can't fit!
>Climb one of mom's rock pillars, it'll do in lieu of a tree
>Just climb the house!
>Prepare for lizard combat, you can take him
>Hide the goods! <specify>
>Put oversized hat on head, begin basking on rock
>other?

>>39325733
>>Under the house! He can't fit!

I think mom will be proud of us messing with the priests

>>39325733
>Under the house! He can't fit!

>>39325763
>>39325767
i think thats a bad idea, dont we glow in the dark?

>>39325733
>Put oversized hat on head, begin basking on rock

>>39325733
>Climb one of mom's rock pillars, it'll do in lieu of a tree
>Hide the goods! <Under the House>

He can't fit to get his hat and we will be safe up the pillar.

>>39325733
>Just climb the house!

>>39325862
This.

>>39325733
Put oversized hat on head, begin basking on rock.

And of course the quest starts just as I have to get ready for work.

>>39325808
Only when we try magic or when we go to sleep.
Otherwise, its mundane lizardness i believe.

>>39325733
>Hide the goods! <specify>

Ontop of one of moms rock pillars, run up the side away from him.

>>39325895
Changing my vote from this to support:
>>39325862

>>39325862
Genius! Supporting! We shall have hats!

>>39325733
Duplicity I like it
gimme a d100

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>39325950

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>39325950

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>39325950

>>39325971
thank you anon

>>39325971
ty, kind anon

Dice gods are teasing us today.

>>39325950
That'll do
>writing

>>39326006
You toss the hat under the house, it's dark enough under there no one will notice. But it's also dark enough you might start glowing if you go under there. There's an amazing lack of trees around your house for some reason, though the stumps of them persist. Luckily mom, in all her wisdom, saw fit to put thirty foot stacks of boulders in your yard.

The priest comes out of the house yelling about his hat as you're shimmying up the boulders. He yells for a minute but apparently can't see you from up top, burns be damned. Actually the view here is quite interesting. You can see the swamp in all directions. Far to the north and east you can see the places where the trees get super tall and thick. To the south you can just make out the line of the sea, and there's a lovely mountain to your west. Technically there's also a mountain to the east but it's way far away for a tiny lizard.

You can also generally tell where mom is. Unless there's something else big enough to disturb trees like that around here. A terrifying consideration. Whatever is shaking those trees it's miles and miles away from here anyway.

If it weren't for some cloudy weather this would be a perfect spot to spend the afternoon basking. Which isn't to say you're averse to doing that anyway. Below you can hear the crotchety hobo lizard yelling at Kuru now. Someone really needs to teach him to be nicer.

>Bask
>Explore the area a bit <direction?>
>Attempt to signal your homies
>Bird murder
>Go pick a fight with your elders <specify how>
>Other?

>>39326163
>Bird murder

>>39326163
>Bird-er

>>39326163
>Bask
+
Be on the look out for birds. I would rather not get attacked up here, even if our size means any fall would be easily manageable.

>>39326163
>Attempt to signal your homies

Call in the MOM

>>39326163
>Attempt to signal your homies

>>39326163
>Bask
Followed by a bit of
>Bird murder

>>39326163
>Bask
We aren't very good at domestic disputes are we...
>Attempt to signal your homies
Guys... what if... what if we made a signal fire?

>>39326163
>Attempt to signal your homies
>Attack Pattern Beta, Idoha, Roger, Delta, Alpha, Sydney, Halftime, Idaho, Theta

>>39326231
We could just stick to shining like a miniature light house.

>>39326234
>BIRDASHIT
Ha.

What if we summoned smokey?

>>39326246
Not going to be really visible during the day. We are not grossly incandescent enough to outshine the Sun.

>>39326163
>Bird murder

>>39326163
Let's see here... some attempts to call friends, bask a bit, and be on the lookout for opportunities toward avian homicide
I need 2d100
>writing

Rolled 36, 48 = 84 (2d100)

>>39326342

Rolled 32, 52 = 84 (2d100)

>>39326342

Rolled 39, 64 = 103 (2d100)

>>39326342

Rolled 59, 56 = 115 (2d100)

>>39326342
It's not homicide it's justice.

our dice have been horrible

Numbers and
>writing

>>39326397
Better to burn them on minor shit now.

>>39326398
You fill your air pouch and call out in the direction of the tree disturbance.

"HEY!"

You wait for a response before repeating yourself. Still nothing. Plans for a third call are shutdown by the walking pile of shiny coming outside to see if he can find you. Your rocktop domain remains unassailable however and he still doesn't have any idea where you are. You give it up as a bad job and settle in for some basking. You do remember to keep an eye out for vict- er, birds.

After about a half hour of basking a pair of feathered fiends finally enter the small clearing around your house. Fat waddling brown birds with webbed feet, a black head and neck, and white chinstrap. Some kind of small goose you're pretty sure.

>Death from above! <max irony>
>Other plan <specify>
>Give these fat birds a pass, continue basking
>Other?

>>39326592
>Death from above! <max irony>

>>39326592
>>Death from above! <max irony>
Do a barrel roll!

>>39326592
>Death from above while still basking
Combat basking a best.

>>39326592

>Give these fat birds a pass, continue basking

They are not the clawfooted, pointy-beaked evil types. Regard them with suspicion but allow them on their way should they remain civil.

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>39326592
>>Other? Fly after them! <Flap your arms very hard>

Rolling, please oh merciful dice gods bless my flight roll.

>>39326592
>Give these fat birds a pass, continue basking
would rather not come down while the priest git is still here.

>>39326592
>Give these fat birds a pass, continue basking

Dinnae risk with the priest here.

Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>39326592
>>39326647
Backing
Rocket Lizard for the rescue

>>39326691
sadly I'm pretty sure this action has a DC of 99 and we wont hit it, but oh well.

>>39326592
>Death from above! <max irony>

>>39326592
>Give these fat birds a pass, continue basking

we might need a tie breaker roll, any chance we could negotiate one of you pass-ifists into changing to death from above?

>>39326592
Counting...

>>39326739
No, because i don't want to go down while mr no hat is here.

When hes gone sure.

>>39326758
Whats the worst thing he could do to us, its not like he has any reason to think we have his hat anyway, I mean we clearly don't have it!

Also we may be heretics now

>>39326739
I like the hat more than I like killing birds.

Rolled 2 (1d2)

Even=murder
Odd=bask

roll a d100 if we're going in hot, otherwise just wait hot

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>39326792

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>39326792

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>39326792
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>39326792
Dice+1d100 thats a thing now.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>39326792

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>39326792

>>39326800
PRAISE THE BIRD-MURDER

>>39326774
The worst thing is he realizes we are the magic child and end up being killed for it.

The Priests are our foe here.

>>39326792
82 Alright
>writing

>>39326812
>>39326811
Wasteful

>>39326800
murdered em birds


...


I wonder if we just killed someones livestock.

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>39326647
>>39326691
Here's a third roll just for lulz

>>39326837
The birds have arrived in a timely manner. You stand up and stretch. Cracking your neck. They deserve to have you make the best entrance possible. Once one of them approaches the rock tower you make your move.

You slip off the tower and dive claws first into the goose. The collision is rough and you're reminded that you were on fire earlier today. Still there's a ridiculous amount of snapping noises coming from your target so you're pretty sure it's not getting up again. If you can get up though, that is an honest question. Your bones seem to be fine but the hideous all over burn is still making itself known. You look up and find the bird's partner rearing up and spreading its wings.

Ow. There's really no time to be wasting on oversized ducks. Plunging forward you slam into this duck too. It beats at you with its wings but you're too close for it to do much damage, you step up your game and bite down on the bird's neck. The goose thrashes but after several seconds stills. You hold it down a bit longer just in case.

Alright, that's two birds with plenty of meat on them.

>Head inside via the window with birds
>Clean the birds
>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?
>Stow them somewhere safe out here and return to your perch
>other?

>>39327001
>>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?

>>39327001
>Head inside via the window with birds

>>39327001

>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?
Food is good.

>>39327001
>Head inside via the window with birds

>>39327001
>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?
Inb4 the birds were the Priest's

>>39327001
>>Head inside via the window with birds

>>39327001
>Head inside via the window with birds

>>39327001
>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?

>>39327001
>Go back in the front door. Hunting is an alibi right?

>>39327001
Bold entrance is now
>writing

Hauling the shattered remains of two birds onto your back you go back in the house. Kuru seems smart she can help you clean them since mom's hunting trip is apparently running long.

As soon as you enter the door the priest is in front of you.

"Where is my hat?" he demands.

"Your hat?" you mirror, making a show of looking at his head, "Oh no! What happened to your hat?! I liked it!"

"You aren't fooling anyone, return it!"

You feign confusion and then clutch your birds defensively.

"NOT THOSE," he yells.

"But I don't have any hats," you tell him, "except..." You feel the crow head charm that auntie helped you make that you've taken to wearing as a headpiece. "You don't want my hat do you?" You ask in your most pitiful baby lizard voice.

"Oh, leave her alone, she clearly doesn't have your hat," Kuru lectures the priest. "Mahli isn't here and there's nothing to be gained from torturing a baby."

He grunts and holds out a hand. "Let me feel your hand."

>Creepy, no
>uh... kay
>Do a thing <specify, no barrel rolls>
>Other?

>>39327309
>Other?
Hiss at him.

>>39327309
>>uh... kay
Aren't our hands covered in blood?

>>39327309
>>Do a thing

"MOM TOLD ME ABOUT PRIESTS LIKE YOU!"

>>39327309
>uh... kay

It's obvious he has a way to test for magic with touch.

>>39327309
>Other
"No! Not giving you my hat! I killed crow! I kill rat thing! I make hat! Keep hat!"

>>39327309
>Creepy, no
Momma told me to not let strangers touch me. Something about perverks

>>39327338
This.

>>39327309
>>39327338
Backing
>Creepy, no

Our hands are covered in fresh (read hot) bird blood, grit, and feathers, especially after clutching a dead broken bird to our chest.

>>39327352
changing this into
This: >>39327338

>>39327338
Pfffttt... hah +1 support

>>39327366
How adorable!

>>39327338
Oh god yes backing this.

>>39327338
Adding another one to this.

>"Did anything happen while I was gone"
>"Your daughter stole a priest's hat, killed a pair of geese then accused said priest of being a pedophile"

>>39327338
Oh god this. Run past him and hide behind Kuru.

>>39327309
Okay catholics be scary yo
>writing and getting food

>>39327456
She'll be so proud of little Sunny

She might also be a bad influence.

>>39327574
Get off of twitter and write faster damnit!

>>39328013
You look at the hand and an idea strikes you. Dropping your birds you turn and run to hide behind Kuru yelling. "Mom told me about priests like you! I'm too young for that!"

Kuru proves herself again a champion conspirator and shifts her arms to shield you from the priest.

"Aha! You are the-," he cuts himself off, "Wait... What? What?! What has she been telling you! I'm not a- This is an outrage!"

"Maybe you should come back later," Kuru suggests gently.

"I will NOT! I am not any of the things she's been saying I am," he yells at you, "I am respected. I am important!" He stomps his feet and the knick knacks arrayed over him jingle angrily.

"So you're not a powerful magic lizard who is the voice of the gods?" you ask quickly.

"NO!" he yells. "Wait, I mean yes. I am those things but not the other things. GRAGHAGH!"

"Is there a problem here, Wasem?" a voice whispers from the front door. Barely audible but still drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

Mom fills the doorway, your siblings filing into the house beneath her dragging various dead animals, including one decent sized gator.

"You!" the priest yells. "What have you been telling your children about me?"

Mom looks at you seriously for a moment before you catch a twinkle of amusement in her eye. "I haven't told them anything. Why?"

The lizard priest rounds on you and you try to look deep in thought. "Maybe it was auntie?"

Kuru picks up from there, "That's probably it," she agrees with you, "You have spent a lot more time with auntie than your mom." she turns to the priest, "And we all know how Sarissa feels about just about anything relating to you."

[1/2]

>>39328210
[2/2]
"Of course she would seek to undermine my authority with a new generation. I will have words with her! Where is she?"

There's a large round of shrugging that starts and ends with Kuru. "She took off into the swamp just before Kasha returned. We haven't seen her."

"No doubt running from her righteous judgement. Nevertheless I will find her!" The priest marches out of the house, railing on about how she won't get away with this. His voice carries back to you long after the sound of his decorations has disappeared.

"What was that about?" mom asks.

>What say?

>>39328228
"He wanted to touch me"

>>39328228
>"He wanted to touch me"

>>39328228

The priest lost his hat then told me to let him touch me.

Hey, maybe his hat fell under the house! I'll go look there, finders-keepers!

>>39328228
He wanted to touch me. I said "Mom told me about priests like you! I'm too young for that!" and he got so angry he forgot. Also I stole his hat.

>>39328228
>"He wanted to touch me...wanna see my new hat?"

>>39328299
This, but add on that we got some birds too

>>39328228
>>39328310
Seconding

>>39328228
"I stole his hat."

>>39328257
>>39328272
>>39328272
Secondin.

"Also his hat is under the house. Somehow."

>>39328299
>>39328310
Seconding being unrepentant hat thieves.

>>39328299
If asked to explain, just talk about the last lizard who wasn't family who tried to play with us
(The alligator)
and how we learned a lot of new swear words.

>>39328228
>>39328310
Seconded

Maybe we could've asked him if there was a sun god(ess. I don't know) in the lizard pantheon? Oh well.

>>39328228
Alrighty
>writing

>>39325718
>"He was also supposed to bring the child with the magic. Where is that one?"

Hold the fuck up

Did Dad tell the priests about Sunny's magic? Despite being told repeatedly not to?

Jesus christ why is dad such a spineless asshole.

>>39328466
He had done so before mom had gotten back.

He's a coward. Why mom puts up with him I'll never know.

>>39328466
Dad's in a no win situation. He is literally hiding behind mom so as not to let all his kids die and end up the priests whipping bitch.

Mom probably tolerates it because he does what she says, and probably other reasons before the conflicting power struggle started brewing.

>>39328560
Or he could just be a man and tell the priests to go fuck themselves because Sunny is the best daughter.

File: momhat.png (50 KB, 300x250)

50 KB PNG

>>39328445
You tell mom all about the priests visit. About how he came, and had a nice hat. But then he lost his hat, and he was really upset. But you were out hunting down these nice gees so you weren't here for that. But then you got back and he wanted to touch you and you hid from him and he got REALLY angry.

"And then Kuru said he should come back another time, and then you got here," you finish explaining.

"I see," mom whispers, "It's a good thing auntie told you all those things about priests then." She sounds amused by the whole story.

You nod and mom continues. "I do wonder where his hat got too though. I'm sure he misses it."

"Oh! Maybe it fell under the house! Be right back," you jump out of Kuru's lap and dash out of the house. The hat is right where you left it, a little dustier but you manage to brush that off. You carry it back inside.

"I was right! Can I keep it? He lost it anyways," you explain.

"I don't know... It's kind of big for you right now."

You look at the hat. It is kind of large. You could fit your whole head in it. Then an idea strikes you. You gesture for mom to lower her head, and when she does so you put the hat on it.

"You can hold on to it til I'm big enough to wear it!"

Mom looks slightly embarrassed but doesn't take the hat off. "Then I'll do that. Now go help your siblings get the food ready to cook. I need to talk to Kuru"

You nod and dart off to help the others. You're apparently the only one to kill any birds today, very sad. You fall into the rhythm of food preparation and soon everything is cooking.

>That's it for today, gotta get ready for work. Thought I'd get to go longer but I've been informed that isn't the case. Sorry.
>Next thread will probably be the usual time on Thursday. I don't actually know my schedule past today.
>If you've got any comments criticism or questions just hit me with them. I'll answer them when I get a chance.

>>39328520
She thinks he's handsome and that she can change him.

>>39328520
Childhood friends

>>39328882
That too

>>39328855
Thanks for running! How does mom like the hat?

We just crowned Momma as head priest of the village didn't we?

>>39328855
Moms adorable
TY for running <3

>>39328855
Thanks for running.

Mom is probably having flash backs to her youth about how much trouble she caused.

>>39328898
She didn't immediately take it off

>>39328918
>>39328908
>>39328898
Np thanks for coming!