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>>39416605
MOTHMAN

Seriously, they and Wendigoes are some of the few things that legitimately creep me the hell out when it comes to legendary creatures.

>>39416605
OP, what are you hoping this to lead to? Some revelation that everything connects back to Atlantis, and if the Sons of Belial hadn't sunk it, it'd be around for us to travel to and shit? And we'd have crystal based tech now and have half human, half animals like the Egyptians and the Central Native Americans grew to workship?

Were you hoping that the Jesuits had taken the Ark of the Covenant in an attempt to keep it from Hitler? Is that what you wanted to know? Or how they also have a missing codex from the Mayans dropped off by the Atlantians depicting how they know the solar system and how the Earth wobbles on a precess?

You can blame Belial for tormenting man so. His works extend even into today. You think the federal government is the only one with a supernatural department, like Delta Green?

You know nothing.

>>39416819
I know that the "wise powers" who created the Vanir still walk the shadows of Scandinavia.

And I know the true name of Ra which was destroyed in the Library of Alexandria to prevent the destruction of mankind.

I know Iraq was invaded to discover Imram of the Pillars.

>>39416913
>Library of Alexandra
Many dark secrets died with that place, not just the true name of Ra. It was for the best, that mankind should never deal with such things.

Same as the masks in Mexico. It would spell certain doom.

Conversely, we have learned that the pyramids in Russia do heal, so leaving those undisturbed is probably for the best.

I just hope you're prepared for when the Vile Vortices spew whatever they're collecting.

>>39417001
It would be quite strange if 7 strangers from around the world received genuine library cards of Alexandria in the mail.

>>39417212
Would it? I think that falls under fairly normal now.

It would be strange if they all went missing after receiving those library cards though.

>>39416605
That you like from books or caused to be more in game?

>>39417264
Doesn't matter

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>>39418177
Ahuitzotl is some kind of monster of the Ancient Mexicans, I don't even know what has to do with MLP. Also lot's of South American tribes had or have interesting myths, rarely used at all. Some are mixed with European ones.

>>39418177

Ahuizotl were servants of the Aztec goddess Chalchiuhtlicue you fucking double nigger.

>>39416605
So in multiple medias, I've seen offhand references to old beliefs, where getting hold of a piece of person, like tooth or nail clipping, gives you power over that person

Where does this originate from?

>>39416605
http://imgur.com/gallery/j32bm


based kelpie

>>39418288
Voodoo

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Is it gay to be obsessed with the phoenix?

>>39418299
My dick.

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>>39416605
There was a time in ancient Egypt where humans entered into a conspiracy to overthrow the Gods. They blasphemed against Ra, king of Gods and men, and heretical priests and magicians plotted ways to turn against the Gods for their destruction, using those very powers the Gods had given to men that they might flourish and grow great upon the earth. Ra, hearing of this plan, called to meet with him the most ancient and potent Deities, those who had been with him in the primeval waters before the time when with his eye, the sun, he had made life. The Gods counseled together and it was decided that Sekhmet, the force against which no other force avails, would appear on the earth and quell the rebellion. Sekhmet would manifest and punish all those who had held in their minds evil images and imagined wicked plots.

Then Sekhmet walked among men and destroyed them and drank their blood. Night after night Sekhmet waded in blood, slaughtering humans, tearing and rending their bodies, and drinking their blood. The other Gods decided that the slaughter was enough and should stop, but they could find no way to stop Sekhmet, who was drunk on human blood. As the carnage went on, the Gods recognized that Sekhmet, Her rage sustained by intoxication, would implacably proceed with the killing until the last human life had been extinguished.

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>>39416605
This blog might interest you, it documents some of the more obscure creatures from mythology and folklore, with illustrations: http://abookofcreatures.com/author/abookofcreatures/

Recently I've come to see a trend in many different faiths and mythologies, where some kind of sky god, possibly with lightning powers, faces off against some evil asshole from underground, who is probably a dragon. Thor fights the Jormungandr wurm, but his Slavic counterpart Perun faces off against the draconic being Veles. Every night Ra battles the winged serpent Apep in the underworld to stave off the eternal night. A little less constant to the religion, Zeus struck down Typhon with a lightning bolt, somewhat similar to how Susano-O killed his own draconic foe. Obviously the stories are different, and the morals presented are different, but that element of one sky-bound god (sometimes the chief god) fighting an evil, serpentine or draconic entity from underground or the underworld, is present across the board.

Ancient mythology was invented by people who were impressed by much less original and less interesting ideas, because they didn't exchange information across the world or live in cities of millions. Modern concepts are much better.

>>39419883
You say that, but modern concepts are also much more 'standardised' whereas old mythologies just do whatever the fuck they like. If you think ancient myths are less interesting than modern ones then you haven't read enough ancient myths.

>>39419857
Don't forget Indra fighting Vritra.

>>39419883
Nigger one Congolese tribe thought the world was created when God got sick and vomited the sun, moon, stars , and earth.

The Egyptians at one time thought the world was fapped into existence.

Coyote in Lakota lore had a detachable cock he used to fuck women from far away.

Hindu myth has a freaking gigantic mecha with chainsaw hands created by the gods to protect the secret elixir of immortality from demons.

Two asshole bros in Welsh myth started 2 entire wars JUST so they could take turns distracting everyone and raping a girl.

They were punished by getting turned into a pair of opposite sex animals and being made to breed and give birth each year for like 10 years as different species.

The Japanese believed in a gigantic foot that spontaneously appears in your home and demands washing.

Humans have the deepest lore

>>39420223
Yet when I do it it's "fuck off with your magical realm".

>>39419501
Thanks! Some of these make for great, new monsters!

>>39419400
Then they gave her a spiked goblet of blood-wine and on a distant planet the Klingons were born.

>>39420223
my favourite hindu myth was when khali was called upon to kill some crazy demon, but the dude summoned a copy of himself for every drop of blood that spattered the ground. so khali run him up in the air on her spear and caught the dripping blood on her tongue. so fuckin metal

>>39422322
Asura's Wrath didn't even try to do this shit justice.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_pumpkins_and_watermelons

tl;dr: if you keep various squashes lying around too long they take on a cursed unlife and start rolling around growling at people like assholes. fortunately though they don't have any teeth so nobody cares.

In brazilian folklore, werewolves are said to be the eight son of a family with seven daughters

The Boitatá is a giant fucking snake serpent that lives in the rivers and has giantic eyes, who eats/sets on fire those who disrespect nature

I really like the slav/russian Firebird, too. I don't know what it does, but the small details I could find were pretty good. Usually it starts with the hero finding one of its feathers and then going on a quest to find the bird

>>39422322
My favourite is when Shiva said if people don't worship his dick it will destroy the world.

>>39422430
It lures you up into the mountains to freeze to death.

>>39416819
>>39416913
>>39417001
>>39417212
frig off ya dorks

Honestly, Shinto's take on animism blew my mind. I'm worldbuilding now and will definitely be incorporating it.

>>39423191
know any good sources to read on Shintoism?

>>39423262
Start with the Wiki articles, they are a good intro. Specifically, I found the articles on Shinto itself, Kami and Yokai to be most informative. There are also different sects and regional variations of Shinto, which have interesting articles.

After that, there are two Japanese texts (perhaps comparable to the Eddas, Mabinogion, Kalevala, etc.) called the Kojiki (circa 710 AD) and the Nihon Shoki (circa 720 AD).

I admittedly have a poor, base understanding of the stuff. But it is absolutely fascinating.

>>39422421
And here I thought the cat from Bunnicula was just paranoid.

I've noticed that in myth stories for eastern and western religions, the former tends to have fantastic powers flung around like nothing special and larger than life (sometimes literally) situations, while the latter is far more subdued, making gods distant and intangible, or also mortal in a way, while the main heroism is done by mortals.

I have to wonder what trends made this happen.

>>39416702
but anon, mothman is no legend

it's in your backyard

>>39416605
There is a story in Hindu mythology that Brahma and Vishnu find a gigantic dick and decide to find out exactly how big it is. Brahma walks around the base to see its circumference and Vishnu walks the length. After awhile they get bored and turn back, neither find the total size of the dick.

My take is the moral of the story is the universe is full of gigantic dicks some even bigger than the biggest gods.

>>39423922
perhaps the greater focus on the Hero in Western culture in general (including the middle east and to a lesser extent India)

another thing is that in the east, these divine powers are so much greater, but also so much more benevolent and helpful (see like Dragons whom are both the progenitors of people there and seen as wise rulers)

while in the West divine powers are often far more distant as you said, or even belligerent to Man, look at Gilgamesh and how he would go around destroying cites just because he felt like it, or Dragons in Western myth and how they are universally seen as sinister and either evil or simply uncaring. this is before Christianity as well since dragons have always had this negative stance in the west compared tot eh overwhelmingly positive one in the east.

not to say that Asians are secretly descended from reptilians or anything

>>39423922
>or also mortal in a way,
Have you met Miach, the Forger of Flesh, from Ireland?
He made a spare arm for his kin, something his father couldn't do, so Daddy gets pissed off and takes an axe to him(Sword in some versions). First hit does nothing, second hit barely breaks the skin, third hit is a flying two-hander off of a cliff and cleaves his head clean in two, spilling his brains all over the island. I'm talking they straight up explode from his skull, and everywhere they land medicinal herbs start to grow.

He got better.

The unloved Ziz

>>39419501

Well that just makes my day. Many thanks!

Giant lame vampiric demon dogs called dips. That are the devil's envoy.


>>39422430
In argentina it's the eight son of a family of seven kids that's a lobizon (wherewolf).

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>>39416702

Here's myth about fire.

In ancient times, with the Jivaros in Peru, a guy named Takkea discovered fire two pieces of wood. Takkea was a prick, so he kept it all to himself, leaving everyone else to freeze and eat raw stuff. In comes Huimbi, the hummingbird, to be This Guy and get everyone the warm fire. What he did was seduce Takkea's wife so that she'd let him enter their home. As soon as her back was turned, he dipped his tail in the fire, flew out, and gave the other men this wonderful gift. In memory of this, the feathers on the hummingbird's tail are now adorned in flamboyant colors.

>>39423986
This was shivas dick. Brahma and Vishnu had a banter before, who is the mightier god of those two. Shivas resolves it by showing them his cosmic junk.

Let me tell you guys of a bird called the Gamaniol. It was a bird that flew.
And that's it.
This was literally the only thing it did. It never landed for any reason whatsoever. When it layed eggs, it did it mid-flight and would catch them before they hit the ground. Afterwards it carried them on its back until they hatched.

>>39423191
I prefer the Chinese Bureaucracy.

>>39420256

Underrated post

>>39418288
It's tied in with the more general idea of sympathetic magic. A common theme in occult beliefs is that things that are somehow related (such as by symbolism, physical resemblance, material derivation, or conceptual similarity) possess some kind of supernatural link, such that a symbolic action done to one thing will exert an analogous influence on something similar that it represents.

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Don't really know what hes called in english but näcken. This mother fucker is a naked guy who lures people in to a river and drown them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mets%C3%A4npeitto

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>>39416605

I studied Native American lore for a time.

Mostly creation stories from the Poncas, but they are pretty interesting.


>Sunshine is eternal, and everyone is happy
>One day Great Spirit gets pissed because of reasons
>Shrouds the sky with a dark canvas of night
>Top animal calls for all animals in the forest to help
>Bear a shit
>Cougar a shit
>Wolf a shit
>Pretty much goes through the entire roster, all shits
>Finally, little hummingbird approaches and wants to help
>Animals laugh at him
>Bird says fuck you and takes off toward the canopy of night
>Reaches the canopy and pierces it with his beak, but gets tired and falls to the ground
>Does this many many many times until he is near death from exhaustion
>With his last ounce of strength, takes off one more time and rips through the canopy
>Dies from exhaustion and falls to Earth for the final time
>Animals feel like total dicks
>Great Spirit feels like an asshole, but still mad at arrogant animals
>Decides to lift the veil for half the day, but the other half, the canopy returns to remind the animals of this lesson
>Each star is a place where the bird pierced through the darkness, and the moon is where he made his final push

cry evrtim

>>39425455
That is adorable, I love it.

>>39425455
Hummingbird best bird.

>>39420223
>The Japanese believed in a gigantic foot that spontaneously appears in your home and demands washing.

>Hindu myth has a freaking gigantic mecha with chainsaw hands created by the gods to protect the secret elixir of immortality from demons.


Sources?

>>39425615
>>39425679

They loved having small birds be the underdogs in those stories. There's one about a roadrunner retrieving fire for the tribe, but I don't quite remember it too well, it's a really long one.

You guys ever hear of the Zu? He basically looks like a reverse Griffon: head of a lion, body of an eagle.
He was the messenger of Enlil, the creator god of the civilization of Sumer, in Mesopotamia.
The Zu could cause lightning to strike simply by spreading its wings, but he wanted more power than that. And by 'more power' I mean he wanted to control fate. He was that kind of power-hungry. So one day while Enlil was chilling after a long day and taking a bath, Zu stole the Tablet of Destinies, which had the fate of mankind written down on it for every year. He took them to the mountaintop, but Enlil's boy, Ninourta was hot on his trail with his Storm Bird hommies. Zu refused to give it back though, so Ninourta caused a cloud to enshroud the place and launched a surprise attack with his bow and arrow. He captured Zu, cut off his wings, decapitated him, and returned the tablet.

The end.

>>39425694
Japan and India, respectively.
the Ashiarai Yashiki and in the Mahabharata, also respectively

Celtic mythology is really metal.

The Gae Bulg (aka gay bulge) was a spear that sprouted barbs upon contact with human blood, meaning that you had to be surgically removed from the body of anyone unfortunate enough to be impaled upon it.

The Luin of Celtchar was a spear that would burst into flames whenever all the blood from a battle dripped off it, and these flames could only be doused in a cauldron of more blood.

Fragarach was a sword that, whenever it was held to a throat, paralyzed the person being threatened and made them incapable of lying until it was removed. It was also said to give the wielder power over the winds, and to pierce any shield.

I can dumb some indian tales if anyone is interested.

There are different stories about the creation of Ganesha, and how he got his elephant-head. On goes like this: One day his wife Parvati was having a bath. Shiva got a bit horny, sneaked in the bathroom and, let's say, 'surprised' her. There are other stories were Shiva and Parvati fucked thousands years straight, but in this she isn't so relaxed about it.
For this reason she formed a guardian from clay. Shiva wanted to intruded her private rooms again, but the guardian did his job and stopped him. In return shiva decapitated him. Parvati saw this and it turned out she felt like a mother about her little clay guardian. She was sad about his death, and pissed because of Shiva. You don't want her to be really pissed. She forced him to go north and take the head from the first being he would see. It was an elephant.

After Shiva made Ganesha alive again he took responsibility as father. They lived happily afterwards.

>>39426153
>The Gae Bulg (aka gay bulge) was a spear that sprouted barbs upon contact with human blood, meaning that you had to be surgically removed from the body of anyone unfortunate enough to be impaled upon it.
"Sprouted barbs" is putting it lightly. The damn thing sends huge spikes coursing through your veins to turn you into a goddamn pincushion from the inside.

>>39416605
Some real life myth from Croatia.
Basically there's this semi aquatic version of a werewolf that lives in swamps and rivers called the Mor which means death in old slavic dialects.
It's exactly the same as a werewolf, only it can swim faster than a fish, dive in mud and soil and breathe under water.

>>39416605
I personally like the Sigbin. The hairless, backwards, demon dog-goats with their lashing tails and large, floppy ears that they can clap to produce powerful, deafening sounds. They come out on Holy Week to eat children and fashion anting-anting's from their hearts to give to their masters.

http://www.cbc.ca/aboriginal/legends_project.html

CBC Radio's documentary program "Ideas" with Paul Kennedy did a series of programs about the legends of various First Nations of Canada. The team worked closely with the people that were telling them these stories, and it's people from each indigenous community telling the stories in each episode. It's really cool. Definitely worth a listen.

The Haida Nation myths are my favoruite - love ravens, and raven is their creator and cultural hero. There's a story in the Haida Nation episode about the witch (and I'm sorry, I'm approximating the spelling here) Yaaniiquqa who lives under a slimy rotten log, has rotten seaweed for hair, eats cold worms and slugs and spiders, and steals ungrateful children and makes them her slaves, and I think she's pretty fitting here.

In any case, these are definitely worth a listen to anyone with an interest in folklore and mythology.

I had tried to commit a bunch of them to memory, but, tbh, I smoke too much weed.

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Alright /tg/, I need inspiration for a homebrew setting.

Tell me about Sumeria, as well as other Mesopotamian-based myths. All that I know is what I got from reading the Epic of Gilgamesh, which was super gay, and small scattered bits from my Elementary School World History class

>>39419857
Of course. People still remember how the dragonborn saved their souls from being devoured by jaintor Big Al.


But seriously most people were fascinated by the sky and worship of stellar objects and such is present in every single culture on the planet.
Then humanity got to the population density where wars became a necessity and a warrior god figure always fits the role of a great leader amongst the gods they worship.
Thus we got those ''heavenly warrior chief-deities''.
Indo-European myths are particularly interesting since the stories vary greatly while still containing the same story elements.

>>39423922
>Rama
>Not mortal


>pandava brothers
>not mortal

>Lu Dongbin
>not originally mortal

>>39426181
The next: The weaver as Vishnu. English isn't my first language and I'm not a good story-teller but I will keep going.

There was a weaver and his best friend, a carpenter. One day a festival was held in the city, and both went to it. There the weaver saw the daughter of a noble-man and fell in love. Her good looks were discribed among other things as having elephant-like feets
After a far too long dialogue between the weaver and the carpenter, in which the weaver didn't want to tell him what saddens him, he declared his love for the girl. Fortunatly for him, the carpenter had an idea. He made him the mount of Vishnu, the bird Garuda, from wood. He also made several arms from wood and attached those to the weaver.
With all this, the weaver appeared before the girls window, multi-armed, fyling on the Garuda. He said he was Vishnu, and he wanted the girl. She couldn't say no to a god.

The god visited the noblemans girl many times. It was only a matter of time, until her servants noticed marks on her body: scratches, signs of bites, other lewd things I forgot. The servants told her parents. They were furious and wanted to know who disgraced her daughter. The blushing girl said it was Vishnu.
They wouldn't believe her, but she told them to hide near her window the next night. To their surprise, they really saw Vishnu boning their daughter.
The nobleman was more than happy with this. Immediatly he dreamed about a son of godly origin and thought, because he had the god on his side, no other kingdom could ever defeat him. He declared war with everyone. Of course the battles weren't in his favour. He talked with his daughter about this, and his daughter talked with the weaver. He had to choose: Revealing who he really was or defeating the enemies' armies with his non existing godly powers.

As a man of honor, he decided to fight.

Will be continued in the next post.

>>39426356
City states, a lot of city states. And every city state has its own deity, which resided at the highest point, at the akropolis. If the city state was conquered it meant that the god has left the city. Conquering armies tended to take the statue of the god and take them to their city, showing that the god is now theirs.

>>39426713
Oh, that works perfectly since I'm making the leaders of their various provinces Divine Giants anointed and blessed by a Fully Divine Gilgamesh expy. I guess that they can have officially sanctioned methods to conquer and subsume provinces that are inadequate.

Also, would having Half-Giants and Nephilim like entities be a good idea? I was also planning on injecting it with some Dark Souls Gwyn stuff as well.

>>39426674
The weaver stood before the enemy, on a wooden mount, with wooden arms. He could not hope to defeat these armies.

Meanwhile, in the heavens, Garuda said to Vishnu: "Have you seen what that mortal did? He impersonates you."
"Yes, I know."
"And now he has to fight these armies."
"Poor mortal."
"Vishnu, if everyone believes that guy is you, and they defeat him and kill him, then everyone will think that Vishnu is no god, has no powers, no authority."
"Well, fuck."

So the god went into the weavers body. The wooden Garuda became alive and flew over the armies. Vishnu struck those down with his divine weapons. The god showed his might this day.

Afterwards the weaver was allowed to marry the girl and everyone was happy. The end.

>>39426864
I don't think I have ever heard about them in a sumerian context. But the hebrew tribes are just a bit further east from them, so it shouldn't be a problem.

>>39425319
in dutch that's called a nicker. no joke.

Anyone have any interesting Egyptian monsters that aren't mummies or sphinxes?

>>39419501
wow thanks

Man we really need a book named
"World Myths told by 4chan"

It would be fucking amazing.

I've heard on /tg/ that African witches aren't humans, but I've never seen that anywhere else. Is it true?

>>39429538
or at least a 1d4chan page

>>39429538
>And then Zeus cucked everything.
ugh, it feels awful just saying that. I hate /pol/ for making that word common on 4chan

>>39426153
I worked in an Irish folklore museum and that's about as interesting as it gets. Ended up being bored of the entire thing.

The stuff you mention was Irish, there's other Scottish, Welsh, Manx, etc tales, but I stopped caring.

My favorite collection of mythology from around the world: http://pantheon.org/

>>39416702
How is mothman scary?
Moths are cute. He'd be giant and fuzzy.

>>39429538
>And that's where Enki came from

>>39416702
I can't be afraid of something that looks that sad. Poor dude probably just lost his gf to Chad "Bigfoot" Thundercock or some shit.

>>39429621
Yep. "Sorcerers " are humans who use magic to fuck with people.

"Witches" are a lot like fertile vampires/liches who prefer to suck out souls but human flesh/blood is good too.

>>39431375
Isn't he bloodthirsty, like a Wendigo?

>>39432061
Next you'll tell me voodoo isn't actually black magic! Yes, I'm aware voodoo is actually a helpful spirituality.

>>39431375
Chapssssssstick

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The dingonek is a creature from african lore. It is described as a large (around fourteen too fifteen feet), sabertoothed feline that sports a massive horn, thick scales, and a scorpion tail. It is semiaquatic in nature and preys primarily on crocodiles and motherfucking hippos. A man claimed to shoot this creature with a .303 caliber rifle and stated that the round only served to piss it off. I want one as a mount.

Remember when Huizilopotchli fought demonic skeleton hermaphrodites with rattlesnake dicks from beyond the stars?

The aztecs did.

>>39433134
>Huizilopotchli
I can't even pronounce that, how am I supposed to remember that?

>skeleton hermaphrodites
I don't think that's possible...?

Thor couldn't wade through a river cause a giant was pissing in it. So he pluged her up with a rock.

>>39434547
In the magical realms of myth, they are

>>39434547
>I can't even pronounce that, how am I supposed to remember that?
The Left-hand Hummingbird.

>>39434664
Vikings also invented rap battles, with their gods showing how it's done.

>>39434675
>myth
Okay, so I'm retarded with that point. But still, how can you describe a skeleton as hermaphroditic? The Aztecs are silly.

>>39434710
>The Left-hand Hummingbird.
It's a what now?

>>39434664
>So he pluged her up with a rock.
>Not killing giant
>0/10 would release Loki again

>>39435019
Hummingbird of the south is the translation of his name from Nahuatl into English

>>39435019
Huitzilopotchtli's name translated.

>>39435019
Oh, and they were only HALF skeleton

>>39435079
>>39435094
Oh. You're telling me that a motherfucking hummingbird did this? Native American Hummingbirds are too stronk

>>39435127
They were only mostly dead, got it.

Makes more sense I suppose. I mean, I guess if they're demon things, they're powered by magic.

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>>39435232
...oh you innocent boy

>>39435395
I'm fairly certain I've seen this in my fever dreams.

Otherwise, metal as fuck, and I wish he was used more often.

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>>39435232
The "Hummingbird" stuff was a noble title.

Huizilopotchli was the ultimate warrior born of Coatlicue: goddess of motherhood and childbearing.

She was impregnated by a ball of feathers and had 401 kids. Coyolxauhqui: goddess of the moon, and the 400 Centzonhuitznahua (Southern Star Gods AKA skeleton hermaphrodites with rattlesnake dicks).

They were disgusted by their conception method and plotted to kill them mom.

But Huizilipotchli was born from his mother's brutal murder and shined out like the sun.

He defeated drove back the Centzonhuitznahua and ripped off Coyolxauhqui's head.

He threw it into the sky and it became the moon we know now.

The star gods are always trying to destroy the world and that's why Huizilopotchli needs blood.

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>>39435464
They sort of do. Not quite though.

>>39435559
I'm reminded slightly of the Izanami and Izanagi creation myth. I'm sure people are more familiar now with it thanks to Persona, but it felt similar, with Izanami pretending to be a good wife but actually dead and when Izanagi finds out, she freaks and starts killing dudes. Izanagi counters with something like "For every 1000 men you kill, I will create 1500!"

And that's how humans are born or something. I don't remember the rest of the story.

>>39435598
Eh, underuse is almost better than overuse. Still a fairly unique character.

>>39426561

>Rama

Rama is LITERALLY Vishnu taking form on Earth. He's a God.

>>39423986
>>39424599

It wasn't his dick, it was his Cosmic form.

Which is basically the Universe.

>>39426181

There's another Version of the Story where the Elephant in question volunteers its head so Shiva blesses their entire species.

Is there any other Mythology with a Power Level that even comes close to Hinduism's?

I mean, you have Hanuman trying to eat the Sun as a baby, getting put into a Coma by Surya, then Vayu, the God of the Wind and Hanuman's dad, drains all the air from the Earth until Hanuman is healed.

That's one of the tamer stories.

>>39419905
Fuck off Technocracy shill

>>39422322
I like the one where she fought a demon that couldn't be killed during the day or night, on or off of holy ground, so she killed it at twilight on the threshold of a temple.

>>39435907
But Rama was a man.

He was an AVATAR of Vishnu.

Just like how Jesus was a man.

>>39436074
The Chinese legends of the monkey king read like some kind of awful Dragon Ball Z fanfiction. like the Emperor of Heaven attacks with a hundred league-sized weapons at once but the Monkey King summons a hundred copies of them to defend himself with.

>>39436161

That was Narasimha, who is an Avatar of Vishnu.

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>>39435835
Izanami got killed giving birth to the god of fire.

Izanagi tried to retrieve her from the underworld but she had eaten the food of the dead.

So when he saw her face in his torch it was an /x/ tier rotting nightmare face.

He ran like hell and she chased him with her scary ass maidservants.

He threw stuff behind him like rivers to slow the down and plugged the entrance of the cave with a boulder.

>>39436074

Consider the fact that the Entire Universe was almost destroyed by accident during the Mahabharatha.

>>39436228
Ah, my bad, thanks for the fix.

>>39424240
I like the ziz.
I always make sure to include the whole triad.

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>>39436161
It was an avatar of Vishnu
>>39436074
MAYBE Buddhist lore.

Oh yeah and don't forget the time Parvati playfully covered her husband Shiva's eyes and the entire world went dark, so he opened his third eye and accidentally vaporized shit with its sheer light and glory.

Or when Vishnu crossed the entire universe in 3 strides.

>>39436250
Hey, that's the part I didn't remember! Thanks, anon.

>>39436185
Not if you talk to Christians. He was a Man-God. All man, all God, at the same time.

Not even they understand it.

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>>39436074
Yes, China's

They have lawyers in Heaven.

Anything else is irrelevant.

>>39436416

That's cause Heaven is a Bureaucracy in China.

Which is more akin to Hell.

>>39436416

It's not really Heaven in the Western sense. It's a combination of Heaven, Hell, and Fae Realms.

>>39434710
One of my favorite bits from norse is that magic dealing with animals is women's business, and if you're a dude and you do seidr, you are 100% likely to like taking it up the ass. Now, doing other dudes up the ass is perfectly fine and manly and strong and stuff, but enjoying TAKING it up the ass was a requirement for talking to wolves and sending hawks to spy on your enemies.

Anyway, there's a rap battle somewhere where one of the participants goes something along the lines of
>My opponent is fat.
>My opponent is fat, because he is ass pregnant.
>My opponent is ass pregnant with NINE wolf cubs.
>My opponent is ass pregnant with NINE wolf cubs, and *I* am the father.

>>39436345

What the fuck is going on in that picture?

>>39436491

Narasimha, one the Avatars of Vishnu, is ripping an Asura in half, while the Asura's son is apparently giving him a garland.

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>>39418233

that's a "Duende" or quite literally Goblin. The illustration is from an artist her ein my hometown in Santa Cruz de la Sierra (Eastern Bolivia).

Basically there have been cases of children disappearing for weeks at the time,and many of them claimed they have been kidnapped by a shot naked deformed man.

El duende usually targets naughty children who are playing far away from their houses and lands, they take the children hostage and bite and scratch and basically bully them. This goes for a week or two until he returns them.

Some say his knees are backwards that's why the image has his leg twisted that way.

Oddly enough in this illustration he wasn't drawn his his huge Sao hat (a common hat made of straw in our region) that covers his face and most of his body which he uses to hide from people.

according to legend, only one Duende is allowed to exist at the time.

some people claim to have even caught el duende on tape.

>>39432738
That movie legitimately fucked me up. The lines can be silly as fuck on paper, but they still freaked me out.

>>39435559
Don't remember her name, but...
>Goddess takes on the mantle of the sun, requiring bloody sacrifice to keep going
>Is actually really nice and sweet and stuff
>Smoking Mirror, a jerk, gets pissy for some reason
> Has to go and >imply she's only doing it so people will like her
>She's sad
>So she starts crying
>Blood
>For the next 54 years straight
>Drowning humanity and the world and requiring a universal reboot

Other cool moments for Smoking Mirror include casting the world into darkness so his sacred jaguars can eat everyone, but also giving up his foot to distract the giant-planet-sized-crocodile-with-mouths-on-its-elbows-and-knees so the rest of the gods can shank it to make the world from.

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>>39436388
True.

Many Hindus even claim Buddha was just an avatar of Vishnu.

Whereas many east and southeast asian Buddhists regard Buddha as something akin to big G God. He's the one who stops Sun Wukong from kicking everyone's asses in the chinese "Journey to the West".

Buddha himself never claimed divinity.
>>39436491
Brahma was the hindu creator god (Brahma the creator, Vishnu the preserver, and Shiva the destroyer) with the bad habit of giving awesome boons out like candy.

On the PREVIOUS episode of Purana Ball Z, Vishnu achieves his avatar form of Varaha (Half man, half boar) and rescued the earth from the Asura (Demon) lord Hiranyaksha.

With his mighty tusks he slew Hiranyaksha and raised up the earth and its goddess from the bottom of the cosmic sea.

Varatha Vishnu was so big he could touch the stars from earth. His fiery mane was so intense the god if water Varuna asked him to turn it off.

Then he slew Hiranyaksha in an epic battle and rescued the earth goddess who fell in love with him.

NOW! On Purana Ball Z.

Hiranyaksha had a baby brother named Hiraṇyakaśipu who wanted revenge on Vishnu.

He spent ages meditating and performing spiritual trials to gain 1 boon from Brahma.

He asked for immortality but lord Brahma says its impossible.

Instead he gets to be indestructible inside and outside any residence, night and day, earth or sky, human or beast, living or (un)dead, god or demon or eldritch abomination, as well as ruler of the living beings and magical powers on top.

Brahma literally says "So be it" and gives him the boon.

Hiraṇyakaśipu's home is attacked by Indra and the other Devas but he kicks their asses.

His son Prahlāda is born basically as a saint who adores and worships Vishnu.

The demon lord tries to murder his son but Vishnu always protects him.

Frustrated, he points to a giant pillar and says "Is your precious Vishnu there?"

The boy says "Vishnu is everywhere daddy" and the demon smashes it.

>>39436829
>The one that stops sun wukong from slapping everyone's shit
CHIM versus even the brokest shit from Weeaboo Fightan Magic is not even a contest.

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>>39436829
There's a cataclysmic boom and Vishnu appears in his Narasiṁha form.

As a half man and half lion he kills the demon on his porch at twilight with no weapons but his claws upon his thighs.

Before this the gods fought the demon lord and someone unleashed a Bramastra (Basically a magical nuclear bomb, the stronger version can UNMAKE REALITY ITSELF but it never even gets used)

Narasiṁha kills hundreds of thousands of demons in a death rage and only stops when the demon's little boy begs him.

Narasiṁha Vishnu makes him king and vanishes.

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The quest for the Golden Fleece was bizarre to read.

It was basically a crisis crossover of Greek heroes.

>>39436490
You tryin' to say that Odin likes taking it up the ass?

>>39436829
They tried to do away with the whole "Buddha-is-an-avatar-of-Vishnu" a while ago, saying everyone should just forget about it.

Guess it didn't take.

>>39437247
He probably didn't like it, but like losing his eye to gain power, he did what he must because he can.

>>39436969

This is why Hindiism never gets used in anything. It's either too obscure, or people learn about it and realize it's too overpowered.

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>>39437638
See, while that's certainly true for the age of the gods.

The legends of mortal heroes are much lower in powerlevel.

The Pandava brothers and Krishna mostly run around doing fetch quests and killing the odd Rakshasa.

>>39437638
Well, bits of it show up in Exalted, but that setting is specifically designed to be OP.

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The Mahabharata is a great Indian epic about a civil war between two factions, the Kauravas and the Pandavas of the Kuru dynasty who are cousins.

It was allegedly written by the Hindu sage Vyasa (Valmiki is the other one who wrote the Ramayana) after the god Ganesha (Elephant headed guy) told it to him.

The epic starts with King Shantanu, the ancestor of the Kurus falling in love at first sight with (unknown to him) river Goddess Ganga whose condition for marrying him is that he should refrain from questioning her about anything that she does.

Ganga however appears to be a crazy bitch and drowns every single child she has as soon as they were born.

Shantanu finally asks her to stop, only to find out that her sons are holy souls that, who, due to a crime of vandalism that they had committed, were forced to be born as mortal humans, and that by drowning them, she's letting them go back to the place where souls go after having transcended the cycle of rebirth (Nirvana/Moksha).

Ganga leaves and her son, Devavrata, becomes the apparent heir. Shantanu finds his second love, a young fisherwoman named Satyavati whom he cannot marry due to her parents refusing. The wise prince Devavrata promises to step away from the throne and to remain celibate for the rest of his life so that Satyavati's children can inherit the throne. Satyavati is allowed to marry Shantanu. Devavrata is hence called Bhishma or the 'one with a terrible vow'.

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Vichitravirya dies without an heir to the throne, and as Bhishma is unwilling to procreate, Satyavati calls on the sage Vyasa to impregnate the two widowed queens. Vyasa is the illegitimate offspring of Satyavati and Parashara, a wandering sage, before her marriage to Shantanu who was brought up by his father. Three children result, and are deemed to be the sons of Vichitravirya. Blind prince Dhritarashtra is the oldest, but due to his blindness, the right to be an emperor was passed down to prince Pandu. Dhritarashtra marries the queen of Gandhara, Gandhari who brings along her brother, Shakuni. Pandu, the second son is sickly. He marries princess Kunti and a second woman named Madri. He begets five children by magical means - his wife Kunti has the power to call any God to father her children. The third son, Vidura is wise, but since his mother was a servant of the palace and not a princess, he cannot rise beyond the rank of prime minister.

Pandu dies shortly after he exiles himself to the forest and Dhritarashtra remains king. The children of Dhritarashtra are called Kauravas and the children of Pandu are called Pandavas. A rivalry quickly develops and Duryodhana, the oldest of the Kauravas, resolves to eliminate his cousins. When Duryodhana attempts to wipe the Pandavas off by tricking them into living in a palace made of lac and then burning it down, they escape and resolve to hide their identity till they are in safe territory. On the way, they marry Draupadi, the princess of panchala. Meanwhile, King Dhritarastra learns of the plot to kill the Pandavas and, obviously displeased with the infighting, gifts them with half the kingdom. This does not please the Kauravas, and only add to their dislike of the Pandavas. Duryodana and his uncle, Shakuni, challenge the Pandavas to play in a dice game where the Pandavas stake and lose their kingdom, wealth, themselves and even temporarily their wife Draupadi (who is married to all five of the brothers).

>>39419501

Thank you based anon

>>39435559
>400 Centzonhuitznahua (Southern Star Gods AKA skeleton hermaphrodites with rattlesnake dicks).

What the hell.

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After being humiliated, they are exiled for thirteen years. King Dhritarashtra promises to give back their kingdom if they are not caught by the end of the Exile. His sons, however, are desperate to prevent this. Peace is exhausted and a war ensues.

The Pandavas are five brothers

The archer - Arjuna.
The smart one - Yuddhisthira
The strong one - Bhima
The youngest ones - Nakula and Sahadeva
Their wife - Draupadi, not much of a peacemaker

The "Gandalf" behind the scenes of the story is Krishna (An avatar of Visnhu in the shape of a handsome young man)

The Pandavas and Draupdi have numerous adventures during their 13 years of exile.

The sage Vidura advises Dhritarashta to let Yudhisthira come back. He says "no" and the sage joins the Pandava gang in the wilderness.

One night a Rakshasa attacks their camp. It uses it illusion powers to become extremely terrifying, but the sage chanted mantras to dispel them. Arjuna shot arrows at it to no avail so Bhima whacked it with a tree and then beat the living shit out of him until he died.

Yudhisthira goes emo for a while because of how cocky he was about winning the dice game. And Krishna comforts him and gives him advice about dealing with temptations and saying "no" to friends about to do a stupid thing. Draupdi, Yudhisthira, and Bhima have a conversation about free will, forgiveness, anger, and virtue.

Then Arjuna goes off alone to meditate and is attacked by a demonic boar. He and a wild mountain man shoot it with arrows and kill it together. They get into a fist fight over who can claim the kill. The crazy mountain man effortlessly beats him until Arjuna realizes that it was Lord Shiva in disguise. Shiva was proud of his spirituality and gave him the boon of a Bramastra (Remember the magical nuke from earlier?) in the form of an arrow. Arjuna has a chat with Indra and the other gods.

They invite Arjuna to see heaven and see the divine city. They forge magical weapons and armor for him.

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The goddess Urvasi wants Arjuna's cock REALLY badly and slips into his bed late in the evening. Arjuna is a married man and refuses her advances. So she's like "IF I CAN'T FUCK YOU, NOBODY CAN!" and removes his cock.
Indra can't directly undo this, but he allows Arjuna to choose exactly ONE year to be dickless (He later uses this to help disguise himself later on).

MEANWHILE! Yudhisthira's all "CRAWWLIIN IN MY SKIIIIN!" over the dice game and calls himself the worst person who ever lived. The sage Vrihadashwa tells him about prince Nala and princess Damayanti who never even met each other but fell in love across a vast distance due to a swan telling each about the other. They use the swan eventually to send love messages back and forth. Damayanti's father announces a Swayamvara - a contest between eligible bachelors so that Damayanti can watch and choose the man she wants to marry. The gods arrive to win over Damayanti, the gods pick Nala as their representative and messenger. Nala is in a bind, but tries honestly to convince Damayanti that she marry Indra, or one of the deities. Damayanti picks Nala, the human. One of the gods gets upset at Damayanti's choice, so he challenges Nala to a game of dice. Nala, like Yudhisthira, loses the game and the kingdom to Pushkara; he goes into exile, Nala and Damayanti are separated even though they want to be together. Damayanti runs away from her father's kingdom. The two of them have lots of adventures and perils. Damayanti's father finds her, she returns to the kingdom. A new, second Swayamvara is announced. Nala comes to the kingdom disguised as Vahuka. Damayanti discovers Vahuka, knows it is Nala. They meet and talk. Nala gets the kingdom back from Pushkara. Damayanti and Nala take over the kingdom, live happily ever after. Yudhisthira stops being emo.

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The Pandavas meet a sage who suggests that they make a round trip pilgrimage to all the holy sites of India. They talk about the ancient legends of the Gods.

There is a tale told of king Shibi. He sees a pigeon flying for its life from a hawk and rescues it. The hawk says Shibi has violated Dharma (The laws of righteousness) by preventing him from being fed and doing what is natural. Shibi says it's HIS dharma to protect the weak. The hawk says that he, his mate, and his chicks will die without the pigeon's meat. So Shibi agrees to feed the hawk and his family with chunks of his own flesh to equal a pigeon. It's not quite enough so he gets on a giant scale and then the two birds reveal themselves as Agni (God of fire, who played the bird) and Indra (King of the gods who played a hawk). They praise his selflessness and compassion and heal him.
They tell a few stories from the Ramayana.

A demon then kidnaps Yudhisthira, Draupdi, and the twins. Bhima kicks its ass and Arjuna comes back from heaven.

Arjuna tells his companions all about heaven and shows off a Bramastra by nuking the flying city of Hiranyapura (Relax, the people there were degenerate assholes) and runs around showing off hire abilities. The sage Narada told him to stop using weapons when it is not just wartime and that wanton violence is evil.

A giant snake captures Bhima in its coils and says it will only release him if they can answer his questions. It's more like a pop quiz in Hinduism 101. Dharma, Samsara, and Moksha. It also says that caste is kinda stupid anyway and that people should be able to freely marry and interact, a person's heart is all that matters. The snake reveals he's king Nahusha freed from the curse (He was a huge asshole who openly lusted after Indra's wife and disrespected sages) and lets Bhima go. Nahusha goes to heaven.

Satyabhama (Krishna's wife) asks Draupdi how to make Krishna desire her more. So Draupdi gives on a long speech about what a good wife does.

>>39439186
Mahabharata is dumb and boring.

>>39434710
>The Left-hand Hummingbird.
Aracely is fine too.

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The Kauravas talk about how they should go after the Pandavas out in the wilderness and kill them. Dhritarashtra says no so only Karna and Duryodhana make the trip. They get into a fight with Gandharvas (Beautiful, immortal, and charming young men who have enchanting music fit for the gods) and have their asses kicked and captured. They sneak out a message for the Pandavas to save them. Yudhisthira urges his brothers to save the men who exiled them, stole their lands, and tried to fuck them over. Besides the Gandharvas were getting too big for their britches and trying to lord over humans. The Pandavas arrive and look so badass doing it the Gandharvas just give up without a fight and hand over their cousins.

Duryodhana can't even comprehend this level of kindness especially after they were so cruel to the Pandavas and cries. Karna (asshole) comforts him and they go on a conquering spree.

Yudhishthira has a dream of a deer. The deer says that team Pandava (tm) have invited so many people to Dwaitavana forest that the animals in being overhunted. Yudhishthira knows that it's against Dharma to be so careless to the living creatures of the wild ad moves their party to Kamyaka forest.

A sage comes and reminds the Pandavas to stay moral.

The Pandavas went on a journey and left a sage to watch over Draupdi at their base in the forest. A king from what is now Pakistan named Jayadratha saw her and fell in love. He was already married into the Kaurava family, but wanted her all to himself anyway. She welcomed him as a brother in law but when she refused his advances he seized her and dragged her off to his domain. The Pandavas save her and Yudhisthira believes he should be killed for his crime, but Draupdi doesn't want her cousin to be a poor widow. So they shave him bald like a slave and send him away. Jayadratha's all "Grr! I'll get you Team Pandava! And your qt wife too! HOW CAN SHE SLAP?" and plots revenge...

It would figure the only ones I can remember right now are full-on weaboo.

>Susanoo, god of storms, is kind of a Chaotic Neutral That Guy
>decides to be a fucktard and chucks a flayed horse through the window of the room where his sister Amaterasu and her handmaidens are weaving
>one of them is scared so bad she (in the version I read) jumps up and accidentally slams her ladygarden into the weaving loom, causing her to die
>Amaterasu is so shocked and enraged she goes into mourning in a cave
>she's the goddess of the fucking sun so shit goes cockeyed
>all the hundred gods and goddesses of Japan sit around and ponder how to fix this shit
>it's resolved when a goddess dresses up and supplicates Amaterasu with a "seductive dance"
>she peers out to see what's up with the broad gyrating on her front porch
>another god holds up a mirror, she catches her reflection in it and becomes entranced in the mouth of the cave
>the god of strength grabs her by one arm and hauls her out completely
>while another sets a ward across the entrance to prevent her from going back in

Then there's the one about the origins of the silkworm;
>daughter of noble family
>has horse
>loves horse
>horse loves her back
>wuv, twoo wuv
>she tells her father she's gonna marry the horse
>the father goes"oh hell naw" and has the horse slaughtered and skinned, the hide staked out to dry
>then tries to marry his traumatized-as-fuck daughter off to someone else
>the day of the wedding the drying horse skin comes to life, flies to the girl and wraps her in itself
>the end result of horse hide and girl begins to sway its head back and forth and issue forth multitudes of thin threads that were alarmingly strong

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>>39416702
A MANMOTH?!

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There once was a princess traveling alone when she discovered a young hermit meditating. He opened an eye and they fell in love. The hermit had a birth defect that would kill him in 1 year. They married anyway. And the two hardly ever leave each other's side. The hermit fell down dead one day and Yama (God of death) came to collect him. The princess followed Yama and begged for her husband back. Yama was compassionate and tried to explain the inevitability. She is utterly relentless and eventually gains 4 boons which she uses to bring her beloved back to life. They live happily ever after.

Then we have a flashback to Karna being born to sun god Surya and the human princess Kunti. Kunti was given a boon by a sage to be impregnated by any god she wanted. Baby Karna had armor and a set of magic earrings as birthday gifts. Kunti was scared of what would happen when everyone knew she was an unmarried mother and sent him down the river in a basket. He was rescued by a general and his wife who raised him as their own. He became a great archer and traded his earrings for an arrow from Indra.

The Pandava brothers go on an adventure to catch a deer who stole a sage's incense sticks and fall down tired. They each go to a river for a drink and they all die. Yeah...Yudhisthira dies last and then is asked a series of questions about morality and the nature of human existence, which he aces. The questioner is revealed to be Dharma himself who rewards him by bringing them all back to life and giving boons for the final year of exile.

The Pandava brothers and Draupdi enter the court of king Virata in disguise. One of his generals sees Draupdi in disguise as a maid and lusts after her. Draupdi says she's married and that the way he stalks her all over the place is against Dharma. General Kichaka just wants her even more. One day the queen asks Draupdi to bring her wine from Kichaka's house. Draupdi's like "Oh boy" and cautiously enters.

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Kichaka goes crazy with lust and tries to rape her until she fights him off and runs. He catches her right at the court of King Virata and kicks her down. Yudhisthira and Virata promise her justice, but it must wait until the end of the exile in 1 year. She berates them. The next day Kichaka harasses her again and this time she appears to give in to his advances and promises him sex in a secret place. Bhima's waiting there instead and kills the fuck out of Kichaka. Kichaka's family and friends are enraged and try to burn Draupdi alive for this, but they all get BTFO by Bhima.

MEANWHILE! AT THE LEGION OF DOOM!

The Kauravas are tearing their hair out over their failure to catch the Pandavas with their spies and assassins. They decide that good guys like the Pandavas always create joy and prosperity around them and pinpoint the kingdom where they're hiding. The allies of the Kauravas launch a raid against Virata's domain and pillage it. Virata is captured and the Pandavas rescue him. They agree not to kill the enemy king even though he's an evil cunt. Arjuna in disguise faces off with Karna and they become arch rivals. And Bhima fights his rival Duryodhana. At last the exile ends and Team Pandava reveals their true identities to all.

Vitara weds his daughter to Arjuna's son. And Lord Krishna says that the Pandavas must reclaim their birthright. The Pandavas want peace, but one of their advisors says that the Pandavas are evil and evil people can't change. The Kauravas build up vast armies and allies from all over India. They want Krishna to fight for them, but the Pandavas want him to be an ambassador of peace. Krishna explains to Karna that he was secretly a Pandava brother too and should switch sides peacefully. Karna flies into a rage when he meets his birth mother Kunti. He says she was never a mother to him and that everybody just wants to use him for something. He wants people to really love him and respect him for once in his life.

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Karna says he will only kill Arjuna who he hates the most but spare his other brothers for the sake of his mother if that will please her. She despairs and Krishna is saddened by his response.

Krishna comes back and says they have no hope left but to go to war.

Vyasa gives Sanjaya the gift of omniscience and he describes the vastness and beauty of the world to Dhritarashtra. He describes forests, mountains, seas, rivers, villages, far away lands with white men, yellow men, and black men, and the cosmos. But Dhritarashtra is bitter and learns nothing, just going on about the war.

When the two sides assemble on the battlefield (Over 4 million infantry troops present with hundreds of thousands of elephants, chariots, and cavalry) Arjuna breaks down and cries at the thought of the senseless death and suffering about to happen. This is the section called the "Bhagavad Gita". It's an EXTREMELY important text in mainstream Hinduism, it's basically what the New Testament was to the Christians. It was the answer to both Buddhism and the stuffy old Vedic cults. Krishna reveals himself as not only Vishnu, but God the almighty. Brahman, ultimate reality. He teaches him all that is needed to know of spirituality and living a righteous life. He shows him his true form and Arjuna flips out over seeing the absolute. Krishna turns back into a humble charioteer and finishes his pep talk.

The other Pandava brothers feel grief over the war and take off their armor and move close to the enemy line. They clasp their hands and bow in "Namaste" which is peace. And then they ask permission to fight them. Both sides begin to weep at this humanity The Kaurava Bhisma wishes them both luck. And soldiers on all sides cheer the nobility of the Pandavas. They return to their positions, and thousands of conches give a deafening blow and the two sides clash.

>>39416702
Mothman was mostly an owl spotted by stoners.

Amonhotep III was obsessed with Sekhmet more than any other Pharoah in all of Egyptian history by a long mile and commissioned more than 700 statues in her likeness to preside over his burial temple - the grandest in all of Ancient Egypt.

Sekhmet's name appears as a chief protective spell on the main gable overlooking the entrance to the burial chamber of the Pharoah Unas - the pyramid containing the earliest and oldest known spells in all of Ancient Egypt and the foundation upon which all of it's future religious beliefs were built (including The Book of the Dead).

Additionally, as most people here are probably already aware, there's a strong circumstantial case to be made that Barak Obama could indeed be a clone or reincarnation of Amonhotep III's son, Akhenaten, revived and contrived back into power at this point in history to fulfil the goals of the Atonist cult that he primarily established

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>>39439477
Ma Nmoth?

>>39416605
I rather like Norse mythology because the gods are so flawed and human in behaviour.

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The sky turns black with clouds of arrows, and the sounds of screaming and bowstrings were like thunder. Bhisma cleaves through dozens of men like wet tissue and the day is lost for the Pandavas. Bhisma kills Virata's sons.

The next day, they make a point of attacking Bhisma first and they break through his personal bodyguard. His horses panic and lead him away from the battle. The Pandava Bhima kills over 800 soldiers solo.

And later on Bhima kills dozens of elephants solo with nothing but an iron mace on foot.
He was hit in the chest with an arrow and slunk down.

Arjuna kills tens of thousands of men solo with his bow. But he didn't have the heart to attack his cousin Bhisma who was wrecking hundreds of men each day. Krishna grew tried of this and tried to throw a chariot wheel at Bhisma, who was ready to die at his hands. But Arjuna stopped him and reminded him that he SWORE not to get involved directly in combat.

They later distracted Bhisma with a "woman" who was really just a man who happened to remember everything about his past life as a woman. Because Bhisma would never harm a lady. Arjuna shoots dozens of arrows into his back.

Later Arjuna battled a king who owned a Bramasta and Krishna shielded him with his own body, turning the Bramastra into a necklace of flowers.

Jayadratha who previously tried to rape Draupdi killed Arjuna's son by having him dogpiled. (He was a tough kid).

Arjuna raged and killed Jayadratha by shooting an arrow so hard it chopped off his head.

Bhima is ordered to kill a good man named Vikarna and weeps because he protected him during the Bramastra attack.

Bhima's son flew over the battle field and chopped down numerous enemies. He fought his uncle Karna until he released a divine arrow which killed him. The son of Bhima grew to an enormous size and fell down dead, crushing thousands of soldiers.

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One of the Kaurava generals quit when he heard his son was killed (He actually just shared a name with a mighty war elephant) and just let someone kill him.

Bhima found the man who tried to humiliate them by ripping off Draupdi's clothing (Krishna helped her out by giving her an infinite sari that just kept on unwinding) and destroyed his chariot with one blow, he then ripped off the pervert's arms, tore open his chest, and feasted on his blood.

Karna casually defeats 4 Pandavas and goes to fight Arjuna. Arjuna must lay down multiple curses, ask for the gods themselves to help, AND use a Bramastra to kill Karna.

Oceans of blood and gore take their toll and even the Pandava brothers act like cunts to each other.

Bhima kills one general by hitting him when he's already immobilized and his underlings are so offended they murder the Pandava soldiers in their sleep.

On the final day, out of millions and millions of soldiers: 12 were left alive.

There is no celebration...only tears

Yudhisthira is crowned king and Arjuna expands their domain far and wide.

Krishna is killed in old age by a hunter who mistakes him for a deer.

Team Pandava renounces worldly life and ascend up the Himalayas. One by one they die until only Yudhisthira is left. He is utterly shocked to see evil people in heaven and good people in hell.

He demands to live in hell if this is the kind of sick world that exists.

The Gods reveal it was all an illusion and commend him for standing up to even the Gods in the name of Dharma. He turns and sees Team Pandava all in heaven and happy.

The end.

Whatever is here is found elsewhere. Whatever is not here, is nowhere else.

—The Book of the Beginning

>>39419857
Also God fighting Satan
I'm not trying to make any kind of religious or anti-religious argument, just pointing out that the Judeo-christian mythology incorporates these elements

>>39440343
Universalist theories like Joe Campell's aren't taken very seriously anymore. Nowadays students of myth focus in the differences over similarities

Coyote is a cool guy

>>39432061
Yeah but is there a source for this?
I've seen this on /tg/ only.

>>39440816
>coyote
>siding with a trickster god
>EVER
0/10 would not convert

>>39430227
Didn't he mostly bang single ladies though? I know he banged Minos' wife and stuff, but he usually just went after any girl who gave him the eyes. Or had eyes.

>>39439316
>>39433134
>The aztecs did.
>did

They still do, Anon. Mictlan rises.

>>39436198
>The Chinese legends of the monkey king read like some kind of awful Dragon Ball Z fanfiction.

No anon, Dragon Ball is a Monkey King fanfiction. His name is even Son Goku for fuck's sake.

>>39437638
I read an abridged version of the Ramayana and it was ridiculous. Everyone is overpowered. Everyone.

Rama's wife is captured in Ravana's awesome island capital of Lanka. So his friend, Hanuman the 5-star monkey, decides to go tell her hubby is on his way. Rather than swim like a puss, the monkey simply grows so large he only needs one step to be on Lanka, then shrinks back down. He finds the girl and tells her everything will be alright, then gets captured. When brought before Ravana he gives the demon king of the universe so much shit that Ravana gets enraged and lights his tail on fire. This was all a clever ruse, and Hanumen jumps around Lanka, torching the entire city to the ground, douses his tail, and leaves. But Ravana has all the world's best architects, so the next day Lanka is rebuilt even bigger and better than before.

Even the fucking architects are OP in this book.

>>39439979
I did not know that right-wing conspiracy nutjobs were this well read in mythology.

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>>39442726
Nonsense, what about this reminds you of the Monkey King?

>>39439979

Dare I ask what this case is?

>>39443141

The extending pole, the monkey in human form, the flying cloud replacing the winged boots, the insanely powerful martial arts master who adapts to everything easily and who is always ready to fight but is actually pretty stupid in most ways.

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>>39416605
>Badgers work together to dig their holes in the mountains. One will lie down at the entrance to the hole, holding a stick in its mouth, while the others pile earth on its belly. Two badgers take hold of the stick with their mouths and drag the loaded badger away.

>The badger protects itself from blows by inflating and distending its skin.
Source is Pliny the Elder.

>>39433134
Huehuecoyotl is still my favourite Aztec deity.

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> Long time ago, before the iceage, people lived in perfect harmony with the nature in a system that didn't give possibility for overpopulation> As the axis of the planet (plan-et) was in its right position, straight, all the planet was under stable tropical climate. So was also Odenmaa at the northpole
> There lived the Asers who held the highest knowledge on earth with the ROT (root)-language. Outside Odenmaa lived the vaers in their ringlands.
> Everybody paid respect to Per who due to the breeding-system was the allfather of all mankind (everyone is a PER-SON)
> Over 50 million 10000 years ago the axis of the planet shifted and caused the iceage when the ringlands outside were covered by ice, a period called
>ALT-LAND-IS
>ALL LAND'S ICE
> As the Gulfstream came to heat southern Finland, Odenmaa remained clear of ice and the Asers learned a new way of life
> Agriculture and new animal species were created for staying alive for 50 milj. years surrounded by huge icebergs
> As the ice startd to melt and drown Odenmaa the very few of them left took pairs of the animals with them and sailed through a passage way melted by the stream to Bockland an island outside of Sweden, later named Goatland (Gotland).
> After staying there for a thousand years the Asers headed back to Odenmaa except SVEN and DAN who went to Sweden and Denmark to rehabite the ringlands.
> During ALTLANDIS the Vaners developed into ten different races, mythologies and languages outside the icebergs
> The asers lived in Odenmaa again till the year 1050 when the crusader army sent by the Pope destructed Odenmaa and created a new information system based on the written word not spoken as it used to be.
> This is a tiny part of a story that takes 20 years to tell two hours a day brought to us as family tradition by the last Aser since 1984, according to the saga 10 000 years after the end of the iceage.

>>39435929
The universe is a giant penis?

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>>39443404

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>>39443404

>>39438045
>Shantanu finds his second love, a young fisherwoman named Satyavati whom he cannot marry due to her parents refusing. The wise prince Devavrata promises to step away from the throne and to remain celibate for the rest of his life so that Satyavati's children can inherit the throne. Satyavati is allowed to marry Shantanu.

What a pussy king. Just beat the shit outta those fishers man.

>>39438683
Can someone explain why random people has blue skin often in indian art?

>>39443936
But MUH DHARMA

>>39439313
It sounds cool for now.

>>39443404
Is this what Finns actually believe?

>>39444282
Hell no. That's an epic meme copypasta from /int/ and /pol/. This crazy German guy is obsessed with Finland.

>>39444368
Well, I guess it's a good thing I don't browse /pol/, then.

>>39444036
It's a symbol of divinity, think of the blue sky and seas.

Just like how the multiple arms symbolize omnipotence, think of what you are capable of with 2 arms and imagine what 10,000 arms could do.

>>39444442
Well, but in that picture only one of the brothers is blue.

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>>39444282
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huFWO9782Vg

>>39443248
>BR detected

>>39423922
Pretty much all heroes in greek myth are half-god and a lot became regular gods after, though.

>>39444560
Hmm, not sure why Arjuna is blue

>>39443248
My favourite is Tlaloc because he is the only relevant one with a reasonable, pronounceable name.

>>39444877
>this anon can't pronounce Quetzalcoatl, Ehekatl, or Tezcatlipoca

kek

>>39444877
>liking the one God who demands the sacrifice of screaming and crying children who've just been tortured to death

Nice one, edgelord. At least water garden heaven is nice.

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>>39435929
>It is not his genitalia, you guys!
>It has a deep meaning, I swear!
It's called linga, and this things is even worshipped today. And why shouldn't you worship the dick of a god? I think it makes more sense than all that feet-worshipping in india.

I know I'm not allowed to post porn but fuck it, here have his cock penetrating a cunt.

>>39439471
I had no idea Amy liking ladies in Okami had mythological precedent.

>>39444282
This is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finnish_mythology

the Penanggalan (from Malaysia), the flying detached head of a woman with the organs hanging below. during the day is a normal woman

>>39445923
Medusa heads exist outside of Castlevania?

What the shit?

bump

>>39440816
Coyote argues with rocks.
And loses!

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>>39422322
Some mythology book I´ve read told this myth with a diferent conclusion, that she strangled the demon with a scarf to avoid spiling his blood. The authors claimed that this myth inspired the killing method of the Thuggee cult.

>>39422322
The version of the Firebird legend, that´s most often t
After a cursory look, on Google, most versions I´ve found seem to portray her lapping up the blood, instead of the stranglation, so I don´t know If they made the Thuggee conection up or if it is just a less common retelling. Any there any mythlogy buffs here who could shed light on this?

>>39422430
The version of the Fire-bird story
that´s the most popular here in the Czech Republic, which has been collected by one of our most famous poets and folklore collectors
goes like this:
>The king of a land far far away has a prized >apple tree, but a fire-bird keeps eating the >apples at night.
> So bthe kings sends his three sons to keep watch over it
>They all fail and fall asleep, but the youngest >one shoots at it,
> it leaves and doesn´t come back.
>then the kings grows obssesed with the bird
>so he tells his sons that whoever brings him >the bird as a pet, shall become his heir.
> they set out to find it and the yougest one is >guided by a fox, whom he helped.
>they find a castle made out of bronze which
has the bird in it, but it´s king will only give it away in return for a stallion with a golden mane.
>they find that stallion in a silver castle, but its king agrees to give it to them only in return for >meeting the maiden with golden hair. They >find her in the golden castle on an island in the >middle of a black lake but he has to pick her >out of twelve idetically dressed, veiled maidens
>the animals the prince has has recued during his journey help him and he choses corrctly, >gets the manden, horse , finally the bird
As he returns home, gets ambushed by his >other two brothers who kill him and chop up the body. (1/2)

>>39442392
Tricksters are the god of men, our accusers and apologists.

>>39447234
You'll always lose an argument with a rock because you can't change a rocks opinion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Any38uNUelM

>>39447244
>the fox joins the youngest prince´s body back
>together with the water of death and revives
>him with the water of life.
> the price presents the horse the maiden and the bird to the king, he has the tracherous older
>bothers excuted and the prince marries the maiden, rules half the kindom until his father >dies, then he gets the other and then they lived happily ever after.

Now there are some twists, like when the prince is heas to give away one of the macguffin for the folowing one, the prince dosn´t want to give it away, so te fox shapeshifs into the horse and the maiden to trick that king.
The scholarly interpretaion is that the golden-haired maiden represents the sun, and her rescue from the golden castle represents the winter solstice and the return of the Sun and life. (As with the return of Persephone in the Elysian myth and so on)

Look a up the Mythlogical school of interpretation for more info on this. The poet who collected this has been viewd as a part of the Solar school because of the sun motifs, so you might find it interesting to take a look at this: https://faculty.unlv.edu/jmstitt/Eng426B/solar.html.

>>39445097
>liking the one God who demands the sacrifice of screaming and crying children who've just been tortured to death

I though that was all the aztecs. And all their gods too.

>>39445100
In my opinion, we should put dicks everywhere again just like romans did. Whorshipping penises is just what it feels right as a man. I love my dick, if there's a God for me, he lives there.

>>39440343
Well considering Jhvh is just a derivation of Enki.
As well as the fact that Christianity wasn't properly formed until the 4th century by which time it incorporated indo-european myths and deities as ''saints'' to propagate its spreading.
Before Constantin forced every single religeous leader to follow Roman law christians were very much like the mudslimes of today. In fact Nero didn't really burn Rome. The Christians really did it. He was just a stupid fuck and build him self a new palace on the fresh ashes.

>>39448387
Tlaloc specifically wanted small children covered in rubber and drowned. Why, I'd rather not speculate.
How many breaths they took underwater was supposed to foretell how many seasons of rain the country would get.

>>39443404
Hitler pleas go and stay go.

No but really the Nazis fabricated this shit,

>>39448678
And? We should respect other highly evolved cultures

Mahabharata anon (or anyone, really) do you have a recommendation for a good english translation of the text?

>>39435559
I'd heard about the Star Gods before, but never that they were skeleton snake-dickgirls. Do you have a source?
Man, that shit is metal.

>>39448990
I think the newest (in english) would be the translation by John D. Smith.

>>39448624
Well, he was the god of water, so the drowning part makes kinda sense. The other parts probably had sense in the mind of the mesoamericans. Sacrifaces to the gods have to be thematic, they pretty much always are.

If it helps sacrificing humans and, specifically, kids would probably mean that what they're asking for is very urgent and needed. Rain is prettty important for agriculture.

>>39448990
Sacred-Texts.org. You can read basically all of Euroasian mythology for free.

>>39449213
Was making a magical realm joke, anon. A lot of aztec stuff can kind of go through that lens.

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>>39416605
I've been reading on ancient and modern aymara cosmology and mythology (which is similar to quechua/inca one) for a paper I'm doing for the university.

Since I'm literally doing it now, I can't really waste a lot of time explaining stuff, but they have some seriously cool ideas. They divide the world in a very diferent way than us, far from our manchean divisions of good and evil. I'm gonna post some graphs (all in spanish, sorry) that explain it pretty well.

Aztec religion was actually extremely advanced.

They were panentheists much like Hindus. The entire polytheism/sacrifice cult existed so that the common peasant could comprehend it. The upper classes had very esoteric beliefs.

Even the grand sacrifices of the 15tu century were the result of political scheming by the high priests who wanted to consolidate power (they were bloodthirsty psychos before, but lower key)

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>>39449836
Note that the terms taypi and puruma both refer to time, places and even more. In fact, taypi is basically everything where things that do not merge meet. But it's also order, while puruma is the place and the time of chaos and darkness.

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>>39450171
This final graph belongs to the modern times, where most aymaras define themselves as catholics or other forms of christianity. Notice the gigantic syncretism, with saints, mass (misa) and God (Dios).

Manqha pacha is "hell" and alax pacha "heaven" but, while the creatures of the alax are undeniably good (they can do harm, but in a just way to punish evil people) it's more complicated for the manqha place, the underworld (this included underwater too). Evil creatures live here, most of the inhabitants of this "hell" can bring benefits even when they can also do harm when they're angry (they're angry mostly when you don't feed them with sacrifaces). The pachamama, who belongs to both worlds but has a clearly chthonic feel, is basically a capricious mother earth. This "Tío" mentioned in the graph is basically represented as the Devil, and since he rules in the mine he can be a complete dick, but the miners offer him constant sacrifaces since he's also who brings mineral riches.

In fact, the ancestors all belong more to the underworld than to the heavens in the mind of the aymara (for despair of the missionaires). The death can be spooky, but fo you think your loved grandma belongs to the evil side?

So, the Aztecs, who called themselves the Mexica at the time, started out as Vassals to the city state of Culhuacan. And, one day, the Aztec ruler asked the king of Culhuacan for his daughter. The king assumed that she was getting married, and agreed. When he was invited to what he assumed to be a wedding feast, the king was surprised to see the Aztec king wearing his daughters skin. So, the Aztecs were b& to a swampy corner of Lake Texcoco, where the plan backfired, the Aztecs built a rad city, got swole, and dominated the greater metropolitan Aztlan area.

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>>39450881
>the Aztecs built a rad city, got swole,
AYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAA

>>39438045

You forgot the bit where Shantanu blesses Devavrata with the Boon to only die when he wants to.

>>39444560
>>39444864

His Dad is Indra, who is Lord of the Skies and Stuff. Hence, blue.

In some depictions, Yudhistr is black because his dad is Yama, the God of Death.

>>39451106
AWAKEN MY MASTERS

>>39418299
Oh my fucking God that's horrifying...

>>39451106
AWAKEN MY MASTERS!!!

>>39450423
I remember reading a thing on /tg/ back in the day about chilean miners worshiping the catholic devil because the missionaries did a shitty job explaining things because get back in there and mine us out more gold and silver.
The were used to multiple gods, so they just kind of assumed that satan needed appeasing too, and started giving him booze, cigarettes, pornography, and dynamite.

>>39452225
Pretty much, but it's more that the missionaries identified the "Tío" (or however he was called first) with the Devil. They were succesful on changing the name and the external appearence of the deity, but not on changing the real spirit of the entity as perceived by the local tradition.

So the result was actually worst, since instead of pagan savages now you have convinced catholics whorshiping Satan.

>>39452225
>>39452319

That's fucking hilarious. I love stuff like that, and I think I'm going to steal that idea for my setting.

I know that the Islamic faith is really against wizards, witches and sorcery of any type.
Is there a way around that, like how the African Witch is an inhuman monster, but there are priests capable of doing magical things?

>>39454289
bump

Bump

>>39418233
Is he smoking a cigarette?

>>39457450
Dude, there's a Filipino monster horseman who just smokes cigars and talks shit to lost travelers in the jungle

>>39457473
Yeah that's the Tikbalang, and he occasionally does more than talk shit. Every now and then he'll slap the shit out of a traveler, then disappear, then reappear a bit later and do it again for shits and giggles. This generally continues until the traveler finds civilization.

>>39452225
>>39452225

>Offering dynamite to a mine god, in a mine

Gee, I wonder what could go wrong there!

>>39457473
>>39457597
Who is selling tobacco products to these monsters?

>>39458066
Probably offerings like >>39452225 said.

>>39438045
Okay so I'm piss drunk right now and I may be misremembering, but you forgot the bit where Vyasa is (depending on who you ask) either an Avatar of Vishnu or just an immortal badass that appears to chronicle the most important parts of history when the time is right.

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>>39445206
Great titties cross cultural boundaries

>>39445206

I'm kinda worried that Japan's most important goddess was a hikikomori at some point.

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>>39416702
My nigga.

>>39458720
Be more worried that their moon god entered the magical realm of the food goddess and killed her

>>39460321
>>39460321

Care to elaborate?

>>39460918
She pissed, shit, snotted, spit, and vomited out a meal of rice and seafood for him. He was so sickened by this he cut off her head.

Slavs would hang dead and dried moles around their necks to ward them from diseases.
They also believed that milk gets sour when gnomes piss into it - and some of them would still drink it.

>>39461371

Woah.

>>39416819
>Atlanteans*

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In Russian the name Chernobyl literally translates as “Black Grass” and is semantically linked with the name Chernobog; the Slavic god of death, darkness, and destruction.

According to Helmold, the Slavic people had, in times past, worshiped a very peculiar deity who embodied both life and death, creation and destruction, heaven and earth, light and darkness and would shift between one personality and the other depending on the time of the year.

During the months of spring and summer this god was known as Belobog (lit. “White God”); a benevolent, white cloaked figure who carried a staff. However, when the seasons changed to fall and winter Belobog would also change into Chernobog (lit. “Black God”), a demonic figure shrouded in darkness. However, as soon as winter ended and spring returned so would Belobog.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/myths-over-miami-6393117
Sit back and read some modern myths, featuring as Miami as the location for a holy battle, the mysterious absence of god, and the Blue Lady who protects from demons and gang warfare alike.

>>39461424
Ancient slavs thought that thunderstorm demons and satan were scared of bare vaginas so sometimes they'd send naked girls to run around in the rain to drive them off

Jack o’Lantern or Will o’ the Wisp is demonic appirition of Weyland the Smith, blacksmith of the Scandinavian gods. In Norse mythology, Weyland married a Valkyrie, who gave him a ring before she eventually left him. King Niðhad in Nerike desperately wanted this treasure so he abducted Weyland, severed the sinews of his feet, and imprisoned him on an island, forcing Weyland to forge whatever items he requested. The king also gave Weyland’s ring to his daughter, Bodvild.

Weyland did as the king asked, waiting for his opportunity for revenge. When the king’s sons visited him in secret, Weyland killed them, crafting goblets from their bones, jewels from their eyes, and a brooch from their teeth – which he sent to the royal family as gifts. Later, when Bodvild brought Weyland her ring to be fixed, he raped her, took back his ring, and escaped on wings made from bird feathers.

In English folklore, Wayland is condemned to wander the night. Travelers would often report they saw fire from his forge above marshes and heaths.

Azazel is a demon of the second order, guardian of the goat. This ritual was performed on the Day of Atonement, which is Biblically described (Leviticus 16:8); "Aaron shall cast lots on two goats, one lot for the Lord and the other for Azazel." The one on which the lot of the Lord fell was sacrificed, and his blood served for expiration. The High Priest then placed both of his hands on the head of the other, confessed his sins and those of the people, charged the animal with them, and permitted him to be led into the desert and set free. And the people, having left the care of their iniquities to the goat of Azazel-also known as the scapegoat-returned to their homes with free consciences.

According to Milton, Azazel is the principal standard-bearer for the infernal armies. It is also the name used by Mark, the heretic, when producing his magic spells.

>>39439477
Bringing a Mammoth back is no big deal but a MAN MOTH. Thats what gets his attention. These are how rumors start. You Orange headed mong.

>>39418233
This is the caipora, protector of the woods from the tupi-guarani mythology. Its feet are backwards to confuse hunters. It punishes poachers but helps good hunters, who in return leave firewater and tobacco for it as offerings. She also rides a pig and ressurects animals that shouldn't have been killed, like young animals that aren't fair game.

Alright, most of my knowledge about this subject is from Wikipedia and Chinese whispers on /tg/ which I can't source. How should I go about actually understanding this?

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>>39464724
You can learn more at your local library.

>>39418417
No, but that doesn't mean you're not a fag. It's the cocksucking and ass-stretching that makes you a queer.

>>39463429

>Chernobyl disaster happened in the spring, April 26th.

Weeks earlier, and it would have been a chilling coincidence in regards to the god. Then again, maybe the region was always destined to become an irradiated wasteland.

So one day Heracles is walking down the road, and he passes this group of priests walking another way. He asks what's up, and they say "Oh, this one town didn't pay denbts, so we're gonna poke out their eyes and cut off their fingers,and something else unpleasant I don't remember." He may have disrespected Heracles or maybe he was just being a dick that day, but Heracles goes "Cool" and proceeds to poke out the priest's eyes and cut off their fingers, and then just continues on his merry way.

Priapus Bump.

These poems were written in honour of the Greco-Roman Boner-God Priapus.
http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/priap/priapeia.htm

He is a protective god due to how funny he is. The Romans believed laughter warded off the Evil Eye, a magic gaze that demons could direct at humans to cause bad luck, and nothing is a funny as dicks. That's why they put dicks on everything, especially places where accidents were liable to occur, such as thresholds and bath houses.

He was also a vegetation god (you know, boners, fertility, that sort of thing), which is why he is the guardian of the garden mentioned in the poem. You can see this protector aspect in the way he threatens to rape thieves with his massive dong.

Fun fact:
The Romans gave newborn babies rings with cocks carved onto them in order to protect the child.

>Other Fun Fact:
Priapus' priests had to ritually destroy an ass in his honour.

>>39469395
....what kind

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>>39471430
The beast of burden kind. But the joke writes itself.

You see, Priapus was really proud of his dick. It's a pretty impressive dick, if you ask me. Priapus boasted that he had the largest cock in the world, bigger than any other living creature's dingus.
The donkey heard Priapus' bragging and decided to make him feel inadequate (or something. Donkeys are assholes). The donkey went up to Priapus and said "if you think that's a big penis, take a look at THIS" and whipped out his ginormous Donkey Dong.
It was indeed larger than Priapus' wiener, which caused Priapus to fly into a rage and kill the donkey.
And that's why Cockgod demands we tear apart that ass.

>>39468574
>Wasteland
Actually, Chernobyl is quite beautiful now. The radiation keeps away the humans, so nature thrives. I don't think the deer care about cancer, anyway.

>>39472091

So does vigorous ass-fuckin' count as an offering to Priapus?

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>>39472155

Pic related

>>39472158
Only if it's a little boy

>>39463700
This feel like something that happened because some horny old shaman way back when wanted to have a bunch of wet naked girls running around.