>>39496191
Well, okay, you didn't JUST get one rock, although the rest of it is probably just as useless as that rock:

>1 Weird Shiny Rock Key Fragment Thing
>1 Ancient Sword Bigger Than About Ten Dwarves Standing Atop Each Others' Shoulders
>Guard Vermin Corpse
>Forgotten Beast Venom
>Forgotten Beast Corpse

On top of THAT, you've got at least two close friends waiting for you in Leanbox: one's been telling you to get your ass over there for what feels like months, and the other may or may not be in some sort of twisted hostage situation. Knowing your luck, you'll reach Leanbox just in time to screw everything up for them, too.

On the plus side, you even managed to extract that ore sample that was part of some Guild quest (although you can't see WHY any schmuck in Lowee would want it, since it looks like so much junk rock to your eyes).

Anyway, you've finally, finally, FINALLY exited the underground realm and its gobs of horrible monstrosities and nemeses, and signs of habitation are on the horizon and fast-approaching. There's a distinct lack of Lowee snow around you; at the foot of the mountains divvying up Gamindustri's main continent, the landscape consists of nothing but half-barren wasteland littered with rocks, scraggly tufts of wild grass, and the occasional twisted tree.

To be honest, it's worryingly nostalgic. You spent a pretty big chunk of your formative years out in wildernesses that looked exactly like this.

(Cont.)

>>39496207
For the most part, you're all alive and well, if considerably more beat-up and leaking blood, as you all make the trek toward one of the countless border towns set up outside Gamindustri's four nations. The back half of Estelle's armor is a mess of ruined bloodstained scrap metal, looking like she had a run-in with a massive can opener, Rokko's got enough puncture holes and rents in her exoskeleton to be indecent if she actually HAD synthetic flesh (as opposed to wires in the vague shape of musculature), and- for once- you're probably looking as shitty as you feel.

Estelle's trekking along at the head of the party, peppy and cheerful as always; you're kinda worried about how much of it is feigned. She DID sacrifice her future well-being to bring you all back to full health, and sooner or later, she's gonna get hit with a glitch big enough to take her offline for a little while. It's not a prediction, but solid fact, especially after you confirmed it with DFHack. Unsurprisingly, Estelle turned down your (tentative) help when you offered it. Might be just as well, since you're a rookie at using your DFHack ability, and you REALLY don't want to accidentally melt her head or anything.

Trailing along behind you is Rokko; the Blue Bomber has something of a pronounced limp, half-dragging a damaged foot behind her. She's got her arms crossed over her chest, less like she's hugging herself and more like she's pondering something, although her robotic expression is as blank as it usually is (save for a few scratches here and there). It's not so much that Rokko doesn't have any emotions or expressions- she sure as hell does, you know that now- but you're just really, really abysmal at reading 'em.

(Cont.)

>>39496224
On a whim, you flip open your phone, just to see if you've got any- oh. Yeah. Batteries. You keep forgetting that phones aren't magic boxes that run on butterflies and fairy farts, but are actual pieces of technology that require charging every now and then. The fact that your phone is at, like, 0.005% battery serves as one hell of a reminder, even if it's sort of really, really too late.

As if that wasn't enough, you've got some sort of horribly garbled voice message- and you don't mean the audio. The title of the voice message sitting in your mailbox doesn't actually tell you who it's from; it's just gibberish. Not fucking ominous at all.

[ ] [ESTELLE] Check up on Estelle, see if she's doing okay. If she's gonna glitch out, you'd like to have an early warning. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
[ ] [ROKKO] Check up on Rokko, maybe ask what's on her mind. She's not the type to broach a conversation on her own. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
[ ] [VOICEMAIL] Check that goddamn message. It'll drain the last of your phone's batteries, but you know what they say about cats and curiosity.
[ ] [NEWS] Check the news on your phone. It'll drain the last of your phone's batteries, but what the hell, you're mildly curious how things are going in Lowee and Leanbox.
[ ] [TIMESKIP] Walk in companionable silence with your teammates. Sometimes, you all just need a little time to unwind in relative peace, which is goddamn rare as hell.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>39496244
>[x] [ROKKO] Check up on Rokko, maybe ask what's on her mind. She's not the type to broach a conversation on her own. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
>[x] [VOICEMAIL] Check that goddamn message. It'll drain the last of your phone's batteries, but you know what they say about cats and curiosity.

>>39496244
>[ ] [ROKKO] Check up on Rokko, maybe ask what's on her mind. She's not the type to broach a conversation on her own. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
We can talk to Estelle when she's glitchng out and not in any position to refuse our help.

>>39496244
>[ ] [ROKKO] Check up on Rokko, maybe ask what's on her mind. She's not the type to broach a conversation on her own. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
>[ ] [VOICEMAIL] Check that goddamn message. It'll drain the last of your phone's batteries, but you know what they say about cats and curiosity.

>>39496224
If we are not used to using our DFHack can we practice on our self?

>>39496419
That's... entirely possible!

>>39496538
I would like to vote to do that too!

>>39496419
>Practice DFHack

>>39496244
>Practice DFHack

>>39496244
>>[ ] [ROKKO] Check up on Rokko, maybe ask what's on her mind. She's not the type to broach a conversation on her own. (Includes a Therapist look-over.)
>>[ ] [VOICEMAIL] Check that goddamn message. It'll drain the last of your phone's batteries, but you know what they say about cats and curiosity.

Practice DFHack on yourself.

>>39496538
Forget DFhack, can we use bugfinder on someone else? Seems much safer.

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>>39496244
>[X] [ROKKO]
>[X] [TINKER WITH SELF IN DFHACK]
>[X] [VOICEMAIL] after tinkering!

With a lack of anything better to do, you really can't help but study Rokko. Thing is, the more you glance back over your shoulder at Rokko, the weirder her crossed-arms pose looks to you. As far as you can tell, she's not normally the type to worry about modesty or whatever (which is pretty damn refreshing, here in the hijinks-filled land of Gamindustri), so you're sure that she'd keep her poker face for everything up to and including her breastplate getting torn off.

For once, Therapist contains no answers.

>Rokko
>Caste: Adventurer
>Profession: Super Fighting Robot
>Squad: DLN-001
>Happiness: Content
>Thoughts: Battled monsters lately (x86), talked with friends lately (x2), faced down fears of mortality lately (x19), resorted to embarrassment-causing power (x3)...

It doesn't take particularly long for Rokko to give in- you're not really being stealthy in your inspection, especially not with how your braids whip back and forth every time you crane your neck to look at her. Probably since she knows that YOU know that something's up, the super fighting robot heaves a convincing (although static-laden) sigh, uncrosses her arms and-

(Cont.)

>Ancient sword
I sure goddamn hope it's not Gehaburn

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>>39497488
You've seen far too much shit to be moved to speechlessness- at least, that's what you try to tell yourself, but Gamindustri has a nasty knack for proving you unhappily wrong. But then, to be fair, great big honking booblights were the LAST thing you expected to see sitting smack-dab on Rokko's robotic chest, and in rather unfortunate locations at that.

"S-Side effect from overuse of t-the, Z-Saber." For once, Rokko's hesitant stutter doesn't seem like it's just a side-effect of her ruined electronic vocal chords, and she doesn't meet your eyes. "P-Please do not stare."

... jeez. You can't blame her. That's one hell of a feature to be carrying around in a place like this, isn't it.

"B-Bug. Not a, feature-"

Tonk tonk tonk.

There's some definite redness seeping into Rokko's cheeks now. "P-Please do not rap your knuckles a-against them."

You quickly step back, withdrawing your hand. Right. Sorry. Just... wanted to check and see what sorta metal they were made out of. Green glass?

"Please do not rap your k-knuckles against, them."

... nnghk. Rokko doesn't glare at you or anything, but something in her mildly disapproving stare (or mildly amused stare? It's honestly hard to tell) makes you turn back around anyway, feeling the back of your neck heating up a little. May as well take some time off to tinker around with DFHack a little.

If you're serious about helping Estelle, you're gonna need all the practice you can get, even if it's on yourself.

>Urist Twelfthbay messes around with DFHack!
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 13!

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>39497524

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>39497524
Here we go

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>39497524

>>39497524
That's hilarious.

Does everyone have some sort of embarrassing super power?

Rolled 5 (1d20)

... I'd probably knock on them too. Maybe grope them a little.

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>39497524
just because

>>39497545
>>39497551
>>39497554

Oh thank god, no nat 1s.

>>39497524
I guess that's why she didn't use it much.

>>39497607
Well we aren't in life threatening danger anymore.

>>39497488
>faced down fears of mortality lately (x19)
I wonder if that's the same thing 19 times or 19 separate things.

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>39497524

Oh hey I made it to the thread this time.

Ah damn I missed a roll.

>>39497927

And thank Armok for that.

>>39497927
>1
Perhaps it's for the best

>>39497927
>Oh hey I made it to the thread this time.

No loss there.

>>39497927
And no !!FUN!! was had.

>>39497524
>15!

The world around you sinks into the background as you cause your eyes to go half-lidded and dive straight into DFHack. Proud dwarven heritage demands that, in the interests of !!SCIENCE!!, you explore every nook and cranny of your coding with the sort of single-minded, consequence-ignoring furor that's normally seen in cackling madmen screaming "It's alive!!" in the middle of conveniently-timed thunderstorms.

Thankfully, you've got something OTHER than proud dwarven heritage, like common sense that comes from hard-won years of experience surviving in Gamindustri. The sort of common sense that tells you that you're basically a fortress consisting of one and only one dwarf. That's when you ought to barricade all entrances and take as few risks as possible, rather than start experimenting with magma physics and the entertaining properties of evil undead-raising biomes.

What time you spend tinkering with your own coding in DFHack is, at best, tentative; after that one time you accidentally crafted a forgotten beast out of nothing, you figure that maybe, just maybe, it'd be better to fucking learn from the basics before diving straight into potentially life-threatening tweaks. In the end, you don't take a whole lot of risks, even if it means skipping out on possible rewards- so all you manage to achieve is one small thing that you didn't even KNOW you had in you.

>DFHack: Tweak enabled: cleaning-priority!

... technically, it was a glitch that prevented you from giving a shit about cleaning distant parts of your fortress- something about how dwarves won't actually home in on cleaning jobs unless they're standing right on top of the dirty spot- but now that you've fixed it, you can't help but feel unerringly aware that you last had a bath like, days ago. Goddammit.

On the plus side...

>Urist Twelfthbay gains +1 to DFHack-related checks!

At least the gradual erosion of your dwarven reluctance to bathe was well worth what you got in return.

(Cont.)

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>>39498675
Your awareness fades back in, and you get a better glance of what's going on in the world around you. You've all stopped marching, at least for now, and Estelle walked over to Rokko sometime when you'd stopped paying attention.

"Don't worry about it! That sort of thing happens all the time," your big sis says, clapping a companionable hand to Rokko's shoulder. "I mean, I can't even keep track of how many times I woke up to golden spiky hair! And look on the /bright/ side-"

"H-Headlight puns are, not appreciated."

"Hahaha! Man, nothing gets past you, huh, Rokko?"

... right. You leave them to their conversation and flip open your phone, swiping through menus and shit as fast as you can 'til you get to the bit where you can listen to your voicemail. The thing's battery is running on fumes, so that's just about all you're going to have time for-

>"Urist? It's me. Mojang!"

Huh. You can safely say that this is the first time you've ever heard her sound so... /strained/. Like she's forcing her usual cheeriness. There's a little silence on the other end, like shuffling footsteps or something, and there's also some background noise, like someone's speaking in the background /just/ beyond hearing range before Mojang continues again-

>"I just- I-I just wanted to, check in on you! See how you were doing. That's all. Ah, and I wanted to say that I, uh, saw you in a dream the other night! I'll have to tell you all about it the next time we meet!"

The barely-there voice pipes up again, but Mojang speaks over it, sounding somewhat more forceful.

>"Please come see me, Urist! It's been too long! We have to catch up on so much-"

That's... either where the message cuts off or your phone goes dead. You lower the thing and glare at it a little- you honestly can't tell the damn difference, because your phone's deader than a doornail and a LOT less useful right now. Either way, it's a good idea to check up on Mojang while you're in Leanbox. A REALLY good idea.

(Cont.)

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>>39498707
You glance back up to see what Estelle and Rokko are up to and what the hell is this.

"Please! Just a little!!" Estelle chortles, one hand on Rokko's shoulder and the other grappling with the Blue Bomber's free hand. The legendary hero is currently half-stooped over, her head straining toward Rokko's obvious chest; the only thing stopping her from burying her face between those booblights (or, given the robot's composition, plastering her cheek against the metal) is the business end of that arm cannon pressed against her forehead.

"D-Denied," Rokko growls, her electronic voice even rougher from the strain of keeping Estelle at bay. Definitely red-cheeked now, the robot shifts her footing, metal-shod boots leaving slight furrows in the dirt, and tries to half-turn her body away from the Dragon Warrior. "Charging, M-Mega Buster in T-minus. Ten. Nine-"

"Aaah, c'mon, don't be like that!" Estelle shoves forward with her forehead, completely ignoring the danger. "You don't understand! This- this is a legendary technique! The puff-puff! It's been so looong!" she whines plaintively, which would probably be more effective if she wasn't drooling like a pervert.

"Eight. Seven. R-requesting aid, Urist. Six."

Armok preserve you.

[ ] [NOPE] Sit back and watch the fireworks. This is revenge for Rokko taking pictures of you "cutely" spazzing out over that cave system.
[ ] [STOP ESTELLE] Not only is this goddamn ridiculous, but you're not allowing any stupid anime shenanigans on your watch. Or Estelle getting her head blown off.
[ ] [HELP ESTELLE] This is DOUBLE revenge for Rokko taking, like, a gazillion pictures of you while you were "cutely" spazzing out over that cave system.
[ ] [FUCK IT] Sweep their legs out from underneath them because this really IS goddamn ridiculous and you've got much better things to do. Nobody wins!
[ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>39498675
Estelle is going to be so happy. We can have a beach\hotsprings scene.

>>39498732
>[ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.

>>39498732
>[ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.

THIS CANNOT GO WRONG!

Also remember to send the fucking photos to our phone, it'll get them even if it's out of Power Urist

>>39498732
>[ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.
They took pictures of us. Only fair if we do the same.

>>39498732
>[x] [FUCK IT] Sweep their legs out from underneath them because this really IS goddamn ridiculous and you've got much better things to do. Nobody wins!

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DORF QUEST
>>39498707
This is totally not creepy at all.

>>39498732
>[ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.
Estelle can't go super saiyan just because you share an artist, that shouldn't work.

>>39498833
>Estelle can't go super saiyan just because you share an artist, that shouldn't work.

Dragon Quest 8 and 9, tension system.

>>39498833
The universe gets her confused with Dragonball-Tan because Toriyama can only draw like six faces.

>>39498732
> [ ] [PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.
Send them to Mojang.

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>>39498732
>[PHOTO] Borrow Estelle's phone and take incriminating photographs. This probably constitutes TRIPLE revenge, but eh.
What could possibly go wrong?

I have a baaaaaaaad feeling about Mojang. When we go meet her we better make sure we have some... backup.

Hey Urist can you do dfhack reveal

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>>39498833
Official art/in-game models of Dragon Quest 1's hero says otherwise because really stupid retcons!

>>39498808
SHE GOT KIDNAPPED.

Except she doesn't sound like, terrified or anything, just like uncomfortable.

She also mentioned something about it when we were dreaming too.

Vert is collecting little sisters too.

>>39498893
Blorp, did Chrono-Tan ascend? And what glitches would she have?
(Cause I'd totally like Chrono-Tan on our team.)

>>39498893
This had to be some sort of homage or something. I can't believe it's anything else.

>>39498936
Sadly, she didn't ascend! For one thing, she doesn't meet the requirements, since she hopped ship to Lastation (circa Chrono Cross). For another thing... well, Chrono Cross happened.

>>39498981
>Chrono Cross happened.
That's fucking depressing

Where's that Chrono something image with the three Vegetas?

>>39498981
I feel bad for Chrono-Tan. At least she had Chrono Trigger and Radical Dreamers. Those were both amazing games.

Whelp, this just confirms it Blorp. We need her in our party so Chrono-Tan can know people still love her and she's considered one of the greatest RPGs of all time.
And you know Chrono Cross isn't that bad as long as you completely ignore any hints at connecting to Chrono Trigger/Radical Dreamers.

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Daily reminder of incoming big sis power spike

>>39499075
I'd rather have had DQX

>>39499075
And then she Ascends and leaves forever.

>>39499075

What this anon says : >>39499098

Well, the dragon quest games are all on phones now, so it isn't like Estelle is being forgotten.

Not to mention DQ 9 was amazing. It also sold 1million+ copies in the western market.

I wonder what dragonball-tan is like

Did OP died???

>>39499485
This is normal speed.

>>39499485
OP is slow as usual

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>>39498732
>[X] [PHOTO]

You narrow your eyes, making a show of stroking your beard in thought (or the area on your chin where you'd be able to stroke your beard IF YOU HAD ONE). Sorry, Rokko. You're too busy to help, you reply as you casually stroll over toward the two of them.

There's a hint of desperation in the Blue Bomber's eyes as she tracks your movements, her countdown growing somewhat slower (and meanwhile, Estelle's worldview has probably narrowed to be nothing but those green booblights, given how her chortling intensifies, almost like Rokko's resistance is making her more legendary). "Five. B-Busy doing what? Four."

In one quick movement, you swipe the phone from Estelle's belt pouch and start thumbing through the screen- before raising it up to eye level. Busy taking incriminating photographs as revenge for the hundreds of photographs ROKKO took of a certain dwarf embarrassing herself, of course!

In a startling show of emotion, Rokko's lower eyelid twitches as the full horror of what you're about to do sinks in. "N-No. Please. C-Cannot, compute complete and utter b-betrayal-"

"GOTCHA!" Estelle howls, taking advantage of that momentary lapse- she headbutts the arm cannon away from her face, knocks aside Rokko's grappling hand, and then straight-up faceplants right between those booblights. For a few frozen moments, there's nothing but the sound of metal being buffed as the Dragon Warrior rubs her cheek against Rokko's chest, along with the occasional 'tonk' as Estelle's circlet clinks on that metal exoskeleton.

And, of course, the sweet digital staccato clicking of many photos being taken in quick succession, courtesy of you.

(Cont.)

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>>39499738
After a few moments, a high-pitched buzzing sound reaches your ears; you figure out that it's coming from Rokko just as you realize that she's got a strange expression on her beet-red face, which is to say, she's actually /making/ a facial expression: widened blue eyes, half-opened mouth, and pupils shrunken to absolute pinpricks as she's scandalized beyond belief.

The OTHER sound that reaches your ears is the telltale whine of her arm cannon being charged, and that's just enough warning for you to duck aside as Rokko fires off an energy blast bigger than you are.

"NNNGAAAARRRGGGH," she rasps eloquently, elbowing Estelle in the side of the head and kicking her away- not that the blows are enough to dent the Dragon Warrior's good mood, and she's grinning even as she skids back and brings her shield up to bear.

"Voila! Le puff-puff!" Estelle wards off a barrage of energy pellets with a happy laugh. "C'mon, Rokko, you're one of very few people who've experienced the legendary puff-puff!"

... you make a quick mental note to maybe be more careful with your own breastplate in the future, whenever you're around Estelle.

"SAY GOODNIGHT." More energy blasts, followed by a rain of improbable weapons streaming from Rokko's arm cannon.

"Don't be like that! I'll even return the favor to youAUGH."

You wince as Estelle's knocked prone by some sort of gigantic bubble popping in her face, but then Rokko's turning toward you, still red-faced, her mouth set in a grim line as she takes aim, and you need /absolutely no encouragement/ to run as fast as you possibly can.

You make it impressively far before Rokko catches up to you.

(Cont.)

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>>39499755
Some time later, you finally make it to the coast of Gamindustri's main continent. It's one of those beaches that's the complete opposite of your usual sandy resort beach: the only rolling dunes are littered with tough beach grass, and scattered rocks make sandals and bare feet a lesson in masochism. On the plus side, you can see the landmass of Leanbox right from the coast, so it's not so far to get there- maybe a few hours by boat, at most.

Not that most people go boating nowadays, not with Fast Travel being a thing. But there are still enough adventurers who want to avoid random encounters over the ocean to warrant the operation of ports and stuff, even out here in neutral territory.

This particular stretch of coast is the closest point to Leanbox's landmass, so it stands to reason that there'd be what amounts to an adventurer's waypoint: a few small shops and other miscellaneous services, a tiny port, and even a Guild outpost (even if it's stripped of most of its usual services). Very few NPCs live all the way out here, so from what you've seen in your own visits, it's all run by retired adventurers who didn't want to spend the rest of their lives in any one nation.

Right now, you and your friends are sitting at a corner table in the one bar in town- it scrapes by by basically functioning as a combination of bed-and-breakfast, gathering spot, and a place to buy tickets for a boat out to Leanbox.

Not much anyone can do about the name, though. "Fighting Frogs" isn't as catchy as it could've been, but the owner got real tired of tourists coming by to gawk at the original name and crack repetitive jokes.

(Cont.)

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>>39499766
Estelle's nursing a few scorch marks on her armor (not burns, since she could heal THOSE real fast), and she's resting with her chin on the table, grinning stupidly as she flips through the pictures you took with her phone. As far as you can tell, she's basking in the afterglow of that puff-puff session. You decide not to think about that too hard.

Rokko, meanwhile, is sulking where she's slightly hunched over, one arm covering up her chest and the other arm scribbling madly in her little battered notebook. On one hand, you really can't blame her; on the other, it's sort of weird how this sorta situation's the one that gets her emotions to come out on parade. From where you're sitting, you think you can make out name combinations like "Pervert Man" and "Betrayal Man" and "Puff-Puff Man."

Might be best not to ask. You're lucky Rokko only flicked you in the forehead about twenty times before slinging you over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carrying you into town as such, leaving you to take the embarrassment in stolid resigned grace.

There's a fair amount of other adventurers in the bar today, judging by the low buzz of voices in your ears.

[ ] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR] Estelle and Rokko are basically out of commission. You're the only one who can make sure there won't be any trouble.
[ ] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.
[ ] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...
[ ] [INVENTORY] Sort through what you've got while you wait for your friends. Maybe you can do something with 'em.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>39499787
>[ ] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...

It can only lead to good things

>>39499787
>[ ] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR] Estelle and Rokko are basically out of commission. You're the only one who can make sure there won't be any trouble.
>

>>39499787
>[ ] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.
>[ ] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...

>>39499787
>[ ] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR] Estelle and Rokko are basically out of commission. You're the only one who can make sure there won't be any trouble.
>[ ] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...
More practice!

Does Urist even have boobs?
I figured she was flat as a cave wall.

>>39499787
>[x] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR] Estelle and Rokko are basically out of commission. You're the only one who can make sure there won't be any trouble.
>[x] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...
There's always time for dfhack.

>>39499787
So far we know of at least three things that will make Rokko emote like some non-robot:
>Inviting her to our party
>Urist almost dying
>Being molested

>>39499787
>[ ] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.

>>39499787
>[X] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.
Also, if it isn't obvious, charge the phone first.

>>39499787
[ ] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR] Estelle and Rokko are basically out of commission. You're the only one who can make sure there won't be any trouble.
[ ] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.

Any decent booze while we try to connect to Mojang?

>>39499830
Urist probably doesn't have much of a bust.

Probably still bigger than Blanc's though

>>39499830
>Does Urist even have boobs!

Surprisingly more than Blanc, at least! And Urist's logic is that if two green glass half-orbs placed in an inconvenient location is enough to get Estelle riled up, then better safe than sorry.

>>39500037
>shorter than Blanc
>bustier than her
And then Urist was Hestia

>>39499787#
>[ ] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG] Because her last call to you wasn't at ALL creepy or worrisome.
>[ ] [TINKER: DFHACK] Give it another whirl. Maybe you can learn something else new, or iron out another bug...

Maybe bar later. Also, make a note to try and get more Rokko points.

>>39499787
>[X] [DFHACK]
>Afterward,
>[X] [TRY TO CALL MOJANG]
>[X] [SCOPE OUT THE BAR]

Normally, you'd be more worried about standing guard and checking to see that no one around you is champing at the bit to start a bar fight, but... well, frankly, the aura of absolute fucking death emanating from Rokko, combined with the weird circumstances of you three's entrance, will probably dissuade anyone from trying anything.

So you bite your lip and sink back into your chair, tuning out the world around you as you reactivate DFHack.

Right off the bat, you notice some slight instability in your code- well, maybe instability's the wrong word? More like /resistance/, as if you've got something actively stubbornly trying to keep everything as it is right now. Might be something about trying to tinker with the fiber of your being one too many times in quick succession, though you're sure as hell set on NOT finding out the hard way.

>Urist Twelfthbay charges forward!
ROLL d20! (dice+1d20 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 16 (+1 bonus)

Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>39500255

Rolled 12 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>39500255

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>39500255
rip Urist

Rolled 12 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>39500255

>>39500255
Puh....Please Urist-kun let me rest first!

>>39500255
No more DFHack for Urist.

For now at least

>>39500275
>>39500281
>>39500292
At least we got no nat 1s again.

>>39500321
>Urist Bluescreens in the middle of the bar after having a framerate crash
>The normal error message is displayed instead as a Blue Screen surrounding a floating white caricature of a dorf face

>>39500415
I just can't wait for something to break so he'll go back to loudly yelling his actions

>>39500438
She probably still yells things like TERRIFIC in battle and acts a little too happy while fighting.

At least our fighting skills went up off-camera.

>>39500438
>he
Take comfort in knowing she hasn't stopped yelling in combat

>>39500468
>>39500481

So what's gonna happen when a bug will cause him to adopt a boss mob that Estelle will have to put down? Is gamindustri ready for a fun spiral?

I had a dorf adopt a fucking poison fog forgotten beast once

I just realized something terrifying.

Skills go up as you use them in dorf fortress. Reasonable enough, right? And your dwarfish health goes up as every one of your skills go up, along with being affected by other qualities. Becoming legendary is sort of a soft cap; there's no upper limit to skill maximums but there is a limit before you become legendary. Socializing is a skill. Urist is gaining a higher maximum health just by talking to people.

>>39500523
>not a pair of cats instead
Smalltime.

>>39500616
Isn't it great?

>>39500616
>dwarfish health
Your what now?

>>39500616
That still doesn't help get get over the natural dwarf mortality rate

>>39500647
Turn of phrase. A farmer that has done literally nothing except farm from the beginning of the game is harder to kill then a marksdwarf that has been fighting for less.

>>39500661
It helps a little bit. Unless you run into infamous instantaneous deaths or start a tantrum spiral. Or drown.

>>39500096
Or Red.

>>39500616
Is that how that works?

I always just kinda went
>better armor
>more dorfs

>>39500748
Have the dorfs do something for a long time

Then they get more health

>>39500771
You're gonna have to provide a citation there. I'm not aware of any correlation between wound-survival ability and skills.

>>39500748
Armor reduces damage from attacks and can help prevent being dismembered, but yes, it can be a viable strategy to rotate in your older dwarves into the military along with training some easy quick skill up like pump operator.

Particularly if they have lots of pets and you induct them into a private squad of their own, since having them tantrum/go berserk in the middle of an enemy army by themselves can be helpful.

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>>39499787
>>39500281
>DC: Not enough!

One moment you're parsing through your code like the last few times you did this, and the next, you just barely stop your head from thunking into the table and you've got spots dancing in your vision like you just got punched in the face.

You close your eyes and squeeze the bridge of your nose until the dizziness and nausea go away, gritting your teeth to help yourself recover faster. Right. Okay. You learn something new everyday, and right now, it's that you can only fuck around with your code so many times in quick succession before it fucks you right back. Only sheer dumb luck stopped the backlash from making going ploin-shaped, so you thank your lucky stars and grope for your backup backup /backup/ flask of booze-

...

Right. First things first, you need to fill back up. You slide off the chair and make your way to the bar; this early in the evening, it's not crowded enough that you've got to push your way through, and soon enough, you're clambering up the bar stool. Ignoring (through long practice) how your legs dangle in the air, you signal for the bartender/owner's attention.

Oh! Right. You really, really want to try and get back to Mojang, in hopes of ensuring that your worst fears don't rear their goddamn ugly heads. Hell, you can ONLY hope that you'll look back on this in a few minutes and shake your head at your own ridiculous paranoia. See? You're not just moseying over to the bar for alcohol, you're doing something GOOD and RIGHT.

The bartender makes her way over to you- hell, you'd recognize that wiry, borderline-muscled build anywhere. Short green hair, sunglasses even indoors, and a permanent scowl to mirror your own- Gamindustri wasn't easy on Rush, either (even down to her name, which can't ever be spelled with an 'a'), so you nod to her as equals, and she returns the gesture.

(Cont.)

>>39500808
Calling in a favor and getting her to plug your phone's charger behind the bar is easy as pie- you've bought enough alcohol here to be on good terms with Rush, and sweeten the deal by ordering a Radical Rash (which has the consistency and taste of swamp muck and flies but helps you forget the pain of existence, so you rate it a 6/10). Once your phone's no longer a brick, you call up Mojang.

... damn. Not surprisingly under the circumstances, it goes straight to voicemail, and the worry in your stomach displaces any enthusiasm over the barrel that Rush slides down the bar, so you leave a message as casually as you can under the circumstances.

You'll... you'll have to cross that bridge when you come to it. And by that, you mean you may have to bust some fucking heads once you're in Leanbox.

A fortifying chug straight from the barrel dulls the edge of your incipient panic attack, and you swivel in your seat to take in the rest of your surroundings. For whatever reason, Rush went with a semi-futuristic design when she set up the place, although time hasn't been kind to it; the interior's made of some sort of veined futuristic alloy and round viewing ports, like something out of a sci-fi starship movie, but there's a distinct sheen of rust on everything. Half the furniture is wooden and beat-up, and the other half is even more beat-up and heavily dented metal.

One wall is dedicated to a pretty large television screen, at least. Right now, it's some news channel that's tracking the shares of each respective nation across a buncha variables; as usual, it's Lastation and Leanbox competing heavily, with Lowee in a solid third place (or second, depending on how you look at it), and Planeptune's slowly creeping back up to respectable levels.

As for the bar's current inhabitants... so far, there's no one who looks like they're a threat to you. Not yet, at least.

(Cont.)

>>39500818
Sharing the counter with you are a pair of vaguely medieval knights, who're sitting on the opposite end and looking like complete and utter shit. In utter synchronicity, they've got their helmets off, one hand's got a deathgrip on their respective mugs, and they're faceplanted against the counter, muttering something about monsters and bullshit and bullshit monsters. Probably sharing their horrible experiences in recent dungeon runs, although your ears prick- you think they're talking about digging, as well.

The other corner of the bar, directly across from the table with your friends in it, is inhabited by two... adventurers? You're honestly not sure. One's some silver-haired girl with thick sunglasses, a worried expression, and the reluctant pose of someone who's trying to be a badass and abashed at how she's failing (the cutesy t-shirt doesn't help, either). The other's clearly an idol of some sort, cuddling up against Silver Hair and whispering in her ear; occasionally, they shoot speculative glances at you, and then at Rokko. There's either a lovelorn confession or really, really bad news in the making.

The other OTHER corner of the bar has only one person sitting at the table; whoever she is, she's cloaked up tightly enough that you can't make out what she looks like, and the edges of her ragged cloak are billowing a little in the utterly breezeless bar. She's just nursing her mug between her hands, staring off determinedly at nothing in general and looking at no one. Like someone who's trying desperately to NOT be suspicious and absolutely failing at it.

(Cont.)

>>39500826

[ ] [FRIENDS] Go back to the table with Estelle and Rokko. Maybe they'll both be- well, slightly more recovered in their own ways.
[ ] [COUNTER] Slide over and chat to the two medieval-looking knights. If there's something about digging and monsters and bad news around these parts, you want to be the first to know.
[ ] [SILVER HAIR] Approach the table with the silver haired girl and the idol. If there's going to be any trouble from that corner, you want to head 'em off at the pass.
[ ] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.
[ ] [BARTENDER] Talk to Ra- er, Rush a little. She's... not really the best conversationalist, and it'll strain YOUR abilities as a conversationalist, but maybe you'll get some tidbit of info.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]

>>39500841
>[x] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.

What's in the box?!

>>39500841
>[X] [WRITE-IN] We're Guild members, right? Surely they have some sort of directory to determine who's also a Guild member and who's a suspicious character you shouldn't hang out with. Let's go looking through that and comparing faces.

>>39500841
>[ ] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.
This'll go great, I swear.

>>39500780
After some checking in DFhack it looks like straight health gain is from older versions, but endurance and so on is a still a stat that impacts taking damage in the first place.

Endurance can be raised, but it looks like skill rust has been incorporated... which can affect stats over time. Similarly, scarring or semi-permanent injuries can do the same thing.

>>39500841
Who is rush, anyway? Or is she not a game-tan?

> [ ] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.

>>39500885
And maybe this.

>>39500899
> Similarly, scarring or semi-permanent injuries can do the same thing.
Not that it matter when cure magic is handy.

>>39500841
>[ ] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.
WHAT'RE YA BUYIN'?

>>39500918
Rush is Battletoads-tan. Actual name is "Rash", after the Battletoad on the front of the cover.

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>>39500841
>do >>39500885, and then after approach the mystery lady in cloak
What could possibly go wrong?

>>39500841
[ ] [BARTENDER] Talk to Ra- er, Rush a little. She's... not really the best conversationalist, and it'll strain YOUR abilities as a conversationalist, but maybe you'll get some tidbit of info.
[ ] [FRIENDS] Go back to the table with Estelle and Rokko. Maybe they'll both be- well, slightly more recovered in their own ways.
Get your friends over to the bar. Let them meet an acquantaince of yours.

>>39500841
>BARTENDER
Then
>SILVER HAIR

>>39500937
Ah ok. Woulda helped if I'd remembered their names. All I remember of battletoads is some punching and repeated high velocity disasters.

Oh god, I just had a thought, somewhere in this god-forsaken world, Duke Nukem exists. The thought of a moe Duke does strange things to my neurons.

>>39500841
>[ ] [STRANGER] Mosey on over to the cloaked stranger. If she really is suspicious, you can try and see what's going on; if she's not, then you can give her pointers on how NOT to draw attention to herself.
Hiya, my name is Booze.

>>39500968
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3j8FA3806pU

>>39500963
Hell, I didn't even know the toads had names until I googled it five minutes ago.

>>39500968
Damn, now I want Compa to check out some western franchises, or PC franchises, to put in Neptunia. They have to know how popular these games are round here.

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Blorp IS DED

Remind me, why Ogre Civilization was abandoned again? I forgot a reason...

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>>39500841
>[X] [GUILD DIRECTORY]
>[X] [STRANGER DANGER]

Y'know, you're a card-carrying Guild member now. Sure, it comes with quotas and requirements and the sorts of responsibilities that make you a fully-functioning member of society (much to your horror), but it's supposed to have its perks too. Maybe, just maybe, you can use it to help yourself out.

You plop your barrel down on your lap and slowly sip from it while you flip back through your phone. A few minutes' worth of fiddling around with the official Guild appclibathion or whatever doesn't get you a whole lot of usable info, at least not yet- you're enough of a rookie that looking through the directory only gets you a list of names, rather than the associated mugshots of everyone involved.

However, you find a workaround pretty quickly- sure, security and privacy are important, but so is recognizing the achievements of fellow Guild members. And as luck would have it, you're apparently sharing bar space with some relatively successful adventurers, you find some pretty reasonable matches soon enough-

You can't get a positive ID on the first knight, either due to lack of time spent searching or notable achievements, but the second knight is Souls, identifiable by the bags under her eyes, thousand-yard stare, and the almost palpable aura of suffering around her. Her dubious claim to fame is a record number of hospitalizations on any single mission, although to be fair, she's also got the highest success rate on the hardest missions at the lowest cost.

The silver-haired girl is named Tekken, and the girl on her lap is Ai Masushita. One's a bare-knuckled no-holds-barred brawler best known for taking absolutely no prisoners and leaving behind piles of bodies, and the other is a successful pop idol who managed to stay relevant by remaking her image once or twice. Gamindustri being Gamindustri, you had to do a few double-takes to figure out which equally cute and bubbly-looking girl was which.

(Cont.)

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>>39501271

... well, you're not sure WHAT you were expecting, but you feel a little better that they're all apparently Guild members and are not secretly vampires or axe murderers or vampire murderers or anything. Which leaves the first knight and the cloaked stranger as unknown variables.

Barrel of booze under one arm, you saunter over to the ~mysterious adventurer~ and casually take a seat at her table, noting how she steadfastly keeps staring straight ahead. You're about to open your mouth, and maybe try to make a smartass remark or something, when she beats you to the punch.

"Guided by the fates, ushered in by northerly winds, destined to repeat their never-ending waltz; when the time-lost sisters are reunited, the untold tale shall be revealed, and their wanders shall know their broken destinies."

The stranger didn't even need to lift her hood slightly to reveal that asymmetrically tattooed face and scraggly blonde hair that's almost the pallet swap of Estelle's. You can't possibly mistake those stupid monologues as being anyone but Ein's.

[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]

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Okay, it's really, REALLY stupidly late, so I'm going to have to call it a night here!

We'll pick up next time on THURSDAY, 4/23, most likely at 9-ish pm EST; updates to scheduling will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go either here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest.

May will most likely be another blackout month, so I'm going to do what I can to cram in a few more threads before then. Thanks for participating, guys, and hope you enjoyed the thread!

>>39501280
>Ein
Oh, I guess, but that cast list. Let's hope nothing big and dangerous shows up with ask of us here.

Thanks for the thread Blorp.

>>39501271
>Tekken and Idol
I wonder if she took that one body guard job we saw.

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Would be a good idea to befriend Souls, and The Hunter too, should they know each other. They'll be some of the best fighters in the world, and hardmode games should stick together.

>>39501304

So Urist and Souls enter a dungeon together......

>>39501280
This is actually a coincidence and she wasn't just following us right?

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>>39501304
>Let's hope nothing big and dangerous shows up
>remember there's nothing preventing Asura or Kratos or BOTH from showing up

>>39501303
Why is she here?
>>39501315
I can think of lotsa punishing and !!FUN!! games.
xcom, FTL, nethack, etc.

>>39501338
Kratos is pleb tier compared to Doomgirl.

Or Rogue.

Nobody wants to be anywhere near someone who has blessed scrolls of genocide in their pocket and a fondness for eating dead bodies to gain their strength.

Or just because they're feeling peckish.

In point of fact in most roguelikes there's no friends at all. Everything is hostile or about-to-be killed status even if peaceful (loot and EXP).

>>39501393
>Why is she here?
She followed us/Estelle

>>39500826
Okay I'm not very good at games, all I can guess is that the two knights are the Souls games (or Bloodborne too? Do Dark and Demon Souls count as one series in here anyway?) games or something?
Who are the others?

>>39501524
Keep reading anon

>>39501539
Yeaaah I forgot to update thread. So the one knight is Souls as I guessed and the other is probably Bloodborne given notes freshness?

Still don't recognise who's Ai Masushita and google isn't helping. Idolmaster?

>>39501303
Thanks for running!

>>39501393
>>39501393
It's not just game hardness that dictates how badass the personification will be though. Popularity and cultural/industry impact is a part of that as well. From Software games sell in the millions, so they'll be titans, Dwarf Fortress, while not necessarily that popular, has a huge intellectual footprint and is featured in MoMA exhibits and such.

Other roguelikes and small indie games that are punishing will be at or a bit below Urist's powerlevel.

>>39501564
Masushima actually, a mistake on Blorps part and yes, she's Idolmasters. She's from the newest Neptunia game, Noire's.

>>39501271
>but the second knight is Souls, identifiable by the bags under her eyes, thousand-yard stare, and the almost palpable aura of suffering around her. Her dubious claim to fame is a record number of hospitalizations on any single mission, although to be fair, she's also got the highest success rate on the hardest missions at the lowest cost.
We totally need to invite Souls-Chan to our party. Or at least give her our Soapstone or something.
I wonder if she still has an Undead form in Gameindustri.

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>>39501617
Game's popularity, huh?

ALL SHALL FEAR THE COMING OF FARMVILLE

EVEN THE CAPTCHA CAN FEEL IT

>>39501271
I can't say for certain, but I want to throw a guess at the first knight being Shovel Knight.

>>39501280
Anyone but ein? Im not so sure.
When i read through that the first time, before i reached the next line, i was almost 100% we were sitting next to the moe personificaition of Soul Calibur

>>39501837
How do you think gameindustri gets fed?

>>39501837
>finally build a fortress
>"A vile force of darkness has arrived!"
>It's Angry Birds

>>39503801
>that feel the day we get wrek'd by talking tom

>>39503816
>talking tom catsplosion
By Armok how horrifying

>>39503761
[Narrator talking about epic battles while the camera pans and the stage loads]

>>39501444
some of them have allies. Sometimes those allies are abused as meatshields to farm high-level mobs, but....

>>39501303
I just realized that megaman isn't the only game that's reduced to a mobile. Is Breath of Fire-chan in the same pickle as Rokko?