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Caede seems to have settled down, and stands in the middle of the shrine with her eyes closed. She doesn’t seem any bigger than before, her transformation evidently fully under her control, and as you approach you see her open her eyes and note they are totally black. “I am darkness.” She says, her voice holding the voice of millions before they let out a collective scream. “I am agony.” She continues, the pure blackness of her eyes like a void of unspeakable evil yet untapped. You get to her back and know what must be done. “I am the devouring blasphemy, the unspoken oath, the lie you tell in the dark to—Put my skirt down!” She shouts and kicks towards you.

You were lifting her skirt because, despite my warnings, you have this weird thing with butts. “Cats identify each other by their tails and backsides just the same as dogs, you know.” I did not, but now I do. Neat.

The kick is coated in hell flame, and your high speed allows you to barely skirt by with only a half ruined top, the same can not be said of the trees on the hillside that were behind you. The trees, notorious for their refusal to dodge because “These Color’s don’t run” take the kick, and are obliterated, as well as most of the hillside. She holds the hem of her skirt and glares at you, the black swirling into her irises to form the standard look. “Are you some sort of pervert? What’s wrong with you?”
(2/4?)

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“An astounding number of things. A truly, phenomenally, terrifyingly large number of things. I mean, have you met me? I sort of murder people just to make puns. Then I lie about what I did to someone I sort of want to lick the abs of while naming every prime minister. I’ve got issues, serious bloody issues. I need a therapist, but the last one I thought about seeing said I should be true to myself so I killed their family in front of them and ate them all. Wasn’t even worth any XP, I just—I just offed that bloke. Also I like sharing. I’m a sharer.” You explain.

She makes a face, and crosses her arms. “Well, I don’t want to hear it! What did you do to me anyway?”

Instead of answering you sneak behind her and grab hold of her cheeks. They are soft, and form just right in your hands, so you get all wiggly in the knees. “I fed you the hellwyrm.” You say.

“Let go! I am a demon! I am not something for you to pet and make silly sounds at and—what? Why?” She asks, confused.

“I think we already established that I have issues. I don’t know why I do half the things I do.” Her hair tickles your nose parts. “Hey, let me snuggle you a bit.” You ask making grabbing gestures with your hands.

“No!” She denies you, and when you leap for her she jumps to the side. “Demons don’t hug!”
(3/4)

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You go for her again, but before you can grab her you feel something like an explosion in the hole where your mind should be. You glance to the side and see something beautiful. A blasphemy that lets you know there is nothing more sublime, and makes you want to eat your own eyes. A light so bright, darkness loses all meaning, and the whole of creation is turned on its head over and over again. “Hello Risa.” The Devil, first of the fallen, Lucy Goosy, etc. says.

“Hey… you.” You forgot his name, didn’t you? I just gave you some of his titles.

“Would you like a job?” He asks.

“Do I have a choice?” You wonder.

“Of course you do, don’t be silly.” He sighs, his voice in the air like your teeth are exploding. Caede looks uncomfortable and has stopped moving.

This could be your chance to pounce her.

Do you want to hear out Lucy’s offer?
[] Yes
[] No
[] Other, please specify
(4/4)

Intro Crap: pastebin.com/mzS6YN7P
Thing I did for the image: pastebin.com/UPRMW0Aa

>>39814842
>[] Yes

also snuggle the Caede

we must become the Snuggler

>>39814842
>[x] Yes

She's expecting us to pounce her. That makes it explicitly not worth pouncing her.

>>39814842
[] Yes

>>39814842
Is.. that Azzy and Risa?

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welcome back

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>>39814942
That would be who it is. Have a black and white.
>>39814983
Thank you kindly.

>>39814842
>Yes
He's been cool about respecting what little boundaries we have, and a quest is exactly what we could use right now.

>>39814842
>[] Yes
>"Tell Caede that demons hug! It's not nice of her to lie."

>>39814842
>[] Yes
>[] Tell Caede to stop being uncomfortable. She should be strong enough now that she's mostly not fucked by Luci's presence and if she isn't then I want a refund

>>39814842

> Yes

So, does Azure making lewd of Risa mean we can finally stop beating the dead horse of her not knowing anything about lewd? Seriously, we're long past smashing a stick into a puddle of rotten goo. I think we're about to split the atom.

Also, Caede ate her own boogie. Ha. (Boogie man to be specific.)

>>39815153
Nope. Atomic war or bust

>>39815153

Risa getting character development. Psht. What sort of show do you think Azure's running here anon?

>>39815249
It did happen that one time you know, perhaps it will happen again?

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You leap on Caede, and she nearly blows you off, but likely because of her current inability to fully control her power, she doesn’t shoot any of her supernatural strength at our face place. “Let go! Let me go!” She squirms, but you just hold her tighter, the warm feeling of her wiggling self most amusing.

“Sure thing Sam.” You say. “What can I do you for?”

“Just a small thing. I am nearly finished with my plans for laying siege on the silvery gates. It would be nice if I could get someone inside of the gates to disable their primary defensive cannon by removing the energy core.” He says.

“What will that do?” You wonder.

“It might save some lives.” He answers.

Sounds nice enough. You bury your face in Caede’s hair, then take a deep breath of her smell. It’s like coconuts playing marbles. “What would I have to do?”

“I send you there, pretend to be human, and avoid running into anyone you know. Find the core, give a small tug on a, well, rope would be a fine word for it, then I pull you back before anyone knows what’s missing.” He says.

“Can I see Jesus when I’m up there?” You want to draw a moustache on him.

“If...” He seems troubled, “If it so pleases you.” What’s wrong with the J man? I am concerned.

“Well, it seems simple enough. So pretend to be a good sort of person, then hop in there, steal stuff,” plunder stuff, “yeah! Plunder! Like a pirate! Then back home we go!”

“Can you do it?” He asks, and you can tell he isn’t being rhetorical. He is genuinely worried you are unable to act like a regular sort. But yeah, you can do it, right?

Do you want to do this thing for Lucifer?
[] Yes
[] No

>>39815388
[] Yes
We will eat the core.

>>39815388
>[] Yes

>>39815388

> No, try convincing Jager


This is seriously like the time my party wanted to pass off my alcoholic, one armed, notSoviet sniper elf for the head mage of a research facility. I just really have no confidence this will work or why he would want to send Risa of all people.

>>39815388
"Well, that depends, are there crazy people in heaven? I mean I think I can act 'good' but I'm not sure about pulling off 'sane'."

>>39815388
>Maybe
This does not sound like there will be things to eat. What exactly do we gain from this deal?

>>39815453
You really have no idea why he'd send the chick with the oodles of stealth abilities?

>>39815453
Eh, I'm pretty sure that this will result in comedic hijinks as opposed to disaster and gloom. Otherwise I don't really see how this is a good idea to even ask on any level.

>>39815478
I think it's a lowered chance for our beloved NPCs to die?

>>39815388
[] Yes

>>39815479

Pretty sure he could do better, but you may have a small point. Still, that stealth isn't infallible. We've been presented with evidence on that plenty of times. There's also the not inconsiderable fact that Yahweh is overpowered as dicks, and the four beasts around his throne see everything in the multiverse specifically looking for shit to wreck with their 17 laser eyes of rape.

>>39815388
>[] Yes

metal gear risa

big boss cat

>>39815388
>[] Yes
This is a bad idea.

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>>39815453
Dude, Risa can cloak herself to look like a human soul. That is one of her primary abilities. Jager does not have these stealth abilities. She goes to heaven, she gets got.
>>39815560
You want Lucifer, the Devil, the guy whose footsteps cause the universe to weep, to just waltz into heaven? The guy who once sort of almost killed all of them, and they still speak his name in hate and fear? Wubba now?

Looks like we are going for it? Writing now

>>39815626
>Risa can cloak herself to look like a human soul
Well we had to get those potatoes some how.

>>39815626

I meant he could probably do better in terms of agents.

Little Risa time?

>>39815723

Babies and children get sent to purgatory, ye heathen.

>>39815742
Not if they've been baptized and confirmed.

Maybe you mean unborn infants?

>>39815742
Isen't that because children who are stillborn are not baptized?

>>39815721
Could he though? I mean, it seems even Lucy himself isn't too sure she can handle it, but he's still offering her the job, which means that he has some kind of confidence in her.

Maybe it's because of how she's done a number of improbable things, so he's sending her to do something also super hard.

>>39815896

There's the likelihood that any agent he has that would otherwise be able to do the job is a fallen or demon of some sort. Those would probably be more prone to immediate detection for reasons. After dealing with Mendel, who could neutralize our stealth much earlier in the game, it seems minorly suspect that we can deal with heaven now. However, like the Mendel mission, this will probably go the same way. Technology won't work when it's convenient. Let's just hope there are no boxes in heaven.

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don't forget to bring a box

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“I find your proposal agreeable.” You say as you stroke Caede’s hair. “Yes, most agreeable indeed.” You totally got this, you are the best at people.

“Very good.” He says and takes a step towards you.

“Will, uh, will this hurt?” You wonder.

“Most likely it will be excruciating.” He answers and you feel your face crack.

“Lovely.” You say and pick Caede up by her pits, then set her down.

“This—this isn’t a good idea, is it?” She asks.

“Too late, I am pot committed.” You say and morph your soul to look super human, then you remember you need to just be a regular person, and morph it to look like one of them.

“Have fun. Heaven is partially tailored to look like what is most pleasing to you. A journey could take days, or but moments. What we need you should be able to find, as long as you do not like the poison of contentment devour you whole.” He says and nearly touches you.

You feel something shimmer under your feet, then a blast of air like from a wind tunnel opens under your feet and makes your clothes go all flappy. You are about to let your tongue hang out, like Jager does when she things you are not looking, or so you imagine because you are not looking how would you know, but then you feel the Earth sort of stop being there. You wiggle your feet, and find yourself in the world between w—oh shit dimensional barrier!

“What’s that now you—“ You slam through the silvery dimension, and it hurts in ways you can’t explain fully.
(1/2)

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Fine wires the width of hair serrate your skin, your eyes boil and melt into your brain like steel, your teeth explode and you choke on the nasty gunk inside of your throat, your organs pop on out for a peek and are stung by wasps over and over, and you think something happens in other places you would rather not talk about. You laugh, the pain a new experience that sends your nerves into a dancing frenzy of not understanding, and then as soon as it starts it stops. You open your eyes, totally undamaged, in a field.

It looks like someplace in Ireland, but you can’t quite place it. You sniff the air, and it all smells just so wonderful you can’t stand it. You brush yourself off and try to figure out where you are. The grass is warm and soft, the sun warm, and the Swedish Fish splash playfully in a nearby stream. That’s normal. You see a box you like, then sit in it, the joy of being hidden in the snug fitting thing fills you up with happiness, then your realize it must be a trap, so you roll out of the way.

A large robot foot slams into the box where you were, and you thank your lucky stars you had the foresight to hope out of there! You make ready to fight, then freeze. No. That’s what the robot wants. You cross your arms and look away, and the robot falls apart!

RISA HAS LEVELED UP! GOOD JOB! HIGH SCORE!

You are about to feel happy about it, but avoid that. This place is dangerous. You remember last time you were in a place with buildings, and spires, and a bunch of other stuff so you may want to look for that. You look at the sun, and realize that it isn’t a sun at all. It is something… else?

You shake your head and remember you also wanted to see the J man. He would probably be closer to the light thing. What should you do?

[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has
[] Go for the tower. No time to dawdle! This is bat country!
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>39816356
>[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has

>>39816356
>[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has

why do you tease Tebow so?

>>39816356
>[] Go for the tower. No time to dawdle! This is bat country!

>>39816356
[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has
EXPLORE!

>>39816356
>[] Go for the tower. No time to dawdle! This is bat country!
Hunter is we. Towers have dragons. Dragons are cool. Risa want towers.

>>39816356

> Go for the tower. Something something bat country

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>Risa will never find Jesus

>>39816356
>[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has
Maybe from a distance?

>>39816356
[] Go for the tower. No time to dawdle! This is bat country!
Eat that power core!

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So it looks like ya'll don't think you need Jesus? Okie Dokie, writing now.

>>39816356
>Look for Jesus.
Our crew could use a carpenter, even if he is jewish.

>>39816625
Deleted my old vote because meeting Jesus is something that Risa seems to have independently expressed a desire to do, and I feel like that's something that should be encouraged and probably won't disastrously backfire.

>>39816661
I think people might still be a bit too shy.

>>39816356
[x] Go for the tower. No time to dawdle! This is bat country!

>>39816661

Actually, looked like it came down to a tie. Either way.

>>39816728
Like I don't know, I -think- it's a fun thing AE would like to write, as opposed to Risa failing the mission and then everything being ruined.

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>>39816367
>>39816432
>>39816440
>>39816625
Look
>>39816438
>>39816463
>>39816484
>>39816498
>>39816633
Don't look
>>39816774
At the time I posted it, it was not a tie

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>anon is afraid of Jesus

>>39816837
>>39816356
>[] Look for Jesus. You sort of want to see what sort of J man this continuity has
Am I too late?
We friends with azzy, why not Jesus? He sounds like a swell guy last we heard from his biography section in the bible.

>>39816837
I posted
>>39816463
and
>>39816625
and later remembered to delete my old vote.

>>39816916
Like I don't know, if this is a scene you wanted to write, I feel like you should just go ahead with it, as opposed to getting bummed out this quickly.

>>39817027
I am just trying to figure out the vote here. Seriously guy, don't be a debbie downer.

>>39817083
Try to ignore him. We've got him or someone similar in WOL as well who always screams at us for "Not Choosing What Azure wants!"

>>39817105

To be fair, those nights where we picked the "wrong" thing were pretty shit. I don't really see it much on this one. The whole point is just to end HQR right now. Direct route is good route.

>>39817142
>The whole point is just to end HQR right now.
I don't see that being satisfying. Especially if it means we won't be able to fight Izanagi or Squad Zero.

>>39817171

Somehow they may become involved, but it's important to accept the part where HQR is coming to an end and soon. Azure has directly stated that he wants this mostly wrapped up before he leaves on vacation if not completely wrapped up. There won't be time to lick every doorknob or flip every skirt on the way. That's just how it goes.

anyone else feel Jager is the Krillin of HQR?

>>39817250
Even if there's lots of lasers, I feel like DBZ and this quest aren't really comparable.

Quests, everybody.

Waiting patiently for our heavenly travels.

>>39817271
>not as strong as the protagonist
>close ties with protagonist
>loyal to protagonist
>comedic relief bits

just saying I see similarities is all

>>39817210
I know. I'll just really miss it though, because even with all that's happened, I still have a lot more good memories than bad ones regarding this quest.

>>39817333
The number of characters that set of traits could describe is astronomical.

>>39817333
>not as strong as the protagonist
m8 I have some news for you

>>39817360
I picked Krillin because I like him more than Yamcha

>>39817333
That is ridiculously broad and vague. Like I'm pretty sure it'd be difficult to count the protagonists who DON'T have an ally that meets those definitions.

Like... is this the second piece of media you've ever consumed?

>>39817333

A bit of explanation is nice, but (>>39817271) this anon's pretty much got my sentiment on it. HQR isn't DBZ. It kind of stopped even being Bleach at a certain part.

As for being Krillin, Jager kind of turned too dark and angsty for me to consider her, well, really at all. I try not to think about her or the quest too hard.

Also this(>>39817369), Jager, like pretty much everyone else in the story with a name, is stronger than Risa.

>>39817372
But Jager is hardly used for comic relief at all anymore. She's the straight man/wrapped up in some kind of hedgehog's dilemma with Risa where they hurt each other the closer they get.

>>39817399
>>39817369
even Krillin had the destructo disc

not really that useful if she can't control it

So she's more like Kuwabara?

>>39817438
Why are you pushing this?

Also I'm pretty sure regaining her memories let Jager master her powers, or at least reprogram them.

It's too bad Jager 10 isn't really useful against most opponents.

>>39817407
It's just because people do not understand that Risa is not like people. They just assume she is quirky when infact she is just really banged in the head and in need of help.

>>39817438

Krillin had one extremely useful and very cool ability that he never was able to use to its full effect. Jager is kind of just overdone. She has super technology, the ability to make MacGuffans, high combat ability, and the only thing that stops her from doing whatever she wants is her own angst.

It's more like we have Deadpool teamed up with a Grimderp Superman.

>>39817479
Not sure why you'd bring it up since I'm not sure Risa is allowed to get help, and even if she was, it'd be a lot of work that most players wouldn't want to put in, and even if they did there's not enough time.

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>>39817510
I can dig it

>>39817510
>Grimderp Superman
No, that's Sin-Fin who has truly absurd powers that is only held back by her crippling personality flaws, and might be the cause of the biggest threat to reality. Jager's more of a Batman. Especially since the only reason she could be a big threat to us is that we don't want to hurt her.

>>39817468
Wasn't Kuwabara's thing that he was really earnest but not that bright? Jager used to be like that a long time ago, but that changed fast. I don't think most characters in HQR can be neatly mapped to any battle shounen archetypes, which I approve of.

>>39817528

There isn't and has never been a point to trying to fix Risa. The entirety of this story is about how everyone is broken, horrible, and insane and the arguably interesting ways they try to interact but inevitably fail to make headway toward their goals because of their crippling, irrevocable flaws. No sense waving a banner. That war was lost when we started this game and Azure made up his mind.

>>39817617
I feel like you're being really bitter about this and I don't get what you're trying to accomplish. Like, I'm pretty sure Sin-Fin, even if she's a long way from actually being happy, is in a much better place than she was when she started, even if that's more a testament to how far she'd fallen than our competence.

I wonder if this Jesus looks like Ted Nugent too

>>39817613

Jager is the ineffectual repentant with a chip on her shoulder. I kind of hate that she became a stereotype once we got backstory on her.

>>39817671

I think Azure officially told us via Jager that everything Risa has done has only made SinFin worse, because the oscillating highs and lows were worse than her just not having anyone.

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“Let’s find Jesus.” You say, huffing like a Risa Cat huffs. Kay.

You turn towards the golden light, the beautiful orb of saturated glory. The smell of angels tickles your nose as you go, and you have to hope and hide in various constructs. Mostly boxes, you leave a trail of boxes through the crystal landscape of heaven with the words “Don’t Look for Risa’s in here!” On them.

Luckily none of the angels are blokes you know who… lasses who know you… uh, individuals who happen to—“What if they are more than one person? Check your privilege scum.” You say pushing up your thick plastic rimmed glasses.

Inventory?

~S’yes

A large knife shoots out of your eye and stabs the glasses into the golden field. Do that again, and you are going straight home without dinner! And, like, no pants! You fear having to do the no pants dance through heaven, so you seal that item away. You get closer to the orb, the light filling you up, but then your unseen hollow hole draining the full feeling out of you as soon as it enters you. Looks like you can’t get full here.

You make it to the center of the orb thing, and find yourself in one of the passageways of the golden spire. You walk along the walkways and wonder just where Jesus is. “I wonder if he is going to be Passion version Jesus and be all beat up. Oh! Or Black Jesus! He is more historically accurate. Since I am English he probably won’t be Middle Eastern Jesus, because that doesn’t fly with the Queen too well. You sniff around, and the strange scent of sweat hits your nose.
(1/2)

I'm surrounded by pessimists

>>39817757
but...I'm here for cheek pinching, rhyming, and happy vibrations

Is that pessimistic?

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You look around, but decide to follow the trail until your find the source and find a guy on a bench lifting weights. He is huge, his muscles are all way too big, and honestly he is a little scary because no one should look like that.

You hear him grunting, so you get closer and hear what he is saying. “Got to get huge, got to stay huge. Got to get huge, got to stay huge. Build mass, and build bulk.” He grunts, and you are a little concerned that his muscles are going to eat his face or something. He has piercing blue eyes, but they are fixed at some point in the ceiling as he angrily gets huge. Has… has he been lifting since he got nailed on a stick?

“Probably stop any Romans from trying again, that’s for sure.” Think Lucy can beat him? “His arm muscles are bigger than me. I am very concerned by this.” You say as he finishes his set, then immediately jumps and does a different exercise. We should leave, because I think his muscles are about to explode. You slowly step back through the door and walk back on the pathway.

It takes some time, and the trail of boxes is truly astounding, but finally you find what looks like a big ass cannon. You sneak by, then see standing in front of a shining orb are two humanoid forms of light. Angels, probably. You will have to think of a cunning plan to get by them, but what?!

[] Seduction strategy! Clearly you can do this thing now!
[] Throw out various items until they are distracted!
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>39817683
I don't know, I like that she's no longer so self-deluded regarding us and thinking we were a good person who was competent. It used to make me guilty whenever we hung out with her to see how much she seemed to look up to Risa. I think Jager and Risa are getting closer to honestly understanding each other, which means that it is possible for them to begin to help each other out as well.

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>>39817770
Jesus Christ.

>>39817770
>[] Seduction strategy! Clearly you can do this thing now!


ear nibbling then we go onto frontal lobe nibbling

then drink the gizzards

Jesus is depicted with six pack for a reason

>>39817770
Just you know. Walk past and take the thing.

>>39817770

> Seduction strategy! Clearly you can do this thing now!

>>39817770
>We need to get these angels to dislike each other. We need to saunter up to them as a fake human soul and ask them questions because we are the curious sort...learn things about them, and then ask questions that will get them to start a fight with one another.

>>39817770
>[] Throw out various items until they are distracted!

>>39817770
Can we imitate the go juice and appearance of an angel?

>>39817770
> "Hi. I'm Jesus' new trainer. He wanted someone that new how to get STRONK!"
> Use shape shifting to comically inflate your arms like cartoon muscles.
> discretion and running away if this doesn't work.

And thus we have /fit/ Jesus now.

>>39817770
>[] Seduction strategy! Clearly you can do this thing now!

>>39817770
>[] Throw out various items until they are distracted!

>>39817827
That IS cunning.

>>39817827
>>39817770

Second

>>39817973

It's Risa levels of cunning anyway.

So people just want to walk up and take it? Okie dokie.

>>39817827
Well then. Alright.

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we better shout "YOINK!"

For the record.. I was being a smart ass when I wrote that.

>>39818056
Eh, it's hard to tell how many people voted for it, and weren't just commenting on it/being sarcastic.

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>>39818110
You should know better.

>>39818110
which part did you write?

>>39818137
I should.

Goddamn her figure is amazing.

>>39818110

Good times.

>>39818110
Figured as much. That's why there should never be joke write-ins. Like even if they're unfamiliar with deception and trained to respect free will, they probably will try to stop us or at least show some skepticism fro whatever lie they make.

And seeing as they're theoretically even worse at lewd than Risa is, we might be able to actually seduce them, or at least disgust them into leaving.

Even tossing the contents of inventory at them could maybe have done something?

Like I don't know, I wouldn't be surprised if it actually worked, but I would also be unsurprised if it really didn't work at all.

>>39818187
Just you know. Walk past and take the thing.

>>39818214
sounds like a solid plan. More thought out than we usually are.

>>39818137
I can't really tell i you're being serious or not, but if there's gonna be a whole big thing about it, >>39817989 is the only other person who actually voted for it, though I guess you could count >>39817973 as well, which would tie it with seduction. >>39818016
Can't really be counted as a vote since there's no way of telling if it's >>39817989 or >>39817827

>>39818214

If Azure wants to crumple it, he can, otherwise I don't particularly care. Let's see what happens.

>>39818305
>otherwise I don't particularly care
Why do people keep saying this when it's pretty much saying the QM is failing to interest them? It's rude.

>>39817770
woo I was late but I still made it in time
>[x] Throw out various items until they are distracted!

>>39818338
I'm interested! I'm excited!

My attention is rapt, except for the shiny things on the tv. And the rumblies. Surprised we haven't gotten the rumblies.

Wonder how filling luminous beings are?

Bet they're a light snack.

>>39818374

Hate to tell you, anon, but you missed the vote. The present game plan is to walk up and grab the thing.

>>39818399
I think we're pretty far from where we can casually kill angels without any problems, even if these are the two scrubbiest angels God has ever made.

>>39818459
You're kidding right? We have casually killed angels. We killed a hell wrym a bit ago.

The angels that scare us are high tier.

>>39818492

It depends. God's classical model angels, the ones with names rather than file numbers, are dangerous to us. If he left scrubs to guard what may be one of the most powerful defenses left on the gates of heaven, I guess we're about to find that part out.

>Hey! Stop!
>No
>You can't go in there!
>NO!
>B-B-But we're not supp-"
>YOINK!

>>39818551
They'd never expect what we're about to pull. It would be insane to even consider it, and they are creatures of perfect thought.

It will confuse them.

>>39818563
Or they'll raise the alarm, and might distract Jesus from pumping iron.

>>39818563

See. That's what I mean about not caring. If Azure wants to do something fun and creative with a terrible prompt, he will, and we'll have a good time.

>>39818625
here here!

>>39818625
To be honest, either one of the prompts he suggested could just as easily turn out horrible if that's what he wanted. Like attempting seduction on aromantic beings is something I shouldn't even have to elaborate on, and if we just randomly pull stuff out of Inventory we could very easily pull out something awful, like our severed head collection, or our BFFs poster with Lucifer.

It really just depends on if AE feels the same way, or if he feels like we're dissing him.

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“I will seduce them.” You conclude, your eyes flashing. Risa, there is nothing that could possibly go wrong with this plan.

You tear your clothes around the midsection, and pull your underwear up a bit so they can see the edges, then lean on one of the pillars. “Hey there handsome, you come around here often? Well let me—“ You fire lasers out of your body, cascading, screaming things that tear parts of reality with it as they fall over them.

Spikes of flesh sprout from the ground and pierce their stomachs, holding them in place while your laser seduces them. You explode your chunks that are inside of them and scatter their pieces into the air, but they move to reconfigure as you sonido onto the orb. “My ball!” You say and the angles stab your back. You tug the rope, and feel yourself tear through the dimensions once again.

Something like sirens blare as you fall through the worlds, and while everything hurts forever you swallow the orb. Yeah, you like that, swallow it you dirty cat. You hit the ground at Lucifer’s feet. His gentle smile hurting you in ways you do not want to talk about. You still feel the sirens and, as you look up at Lucy, you say the most important thing in your mind. “Jesus has really big muscles.”

He looks slightly concerned, but not at you. “Yes. Yes he has.”

“No one should look like that.” You continue.

“No. No one should.” He agrees.
(1/2)

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“There was a loud siren thing. Was that bad?” You wonder.

“It means they are going to mobilize while they try and replace the orb. It is the best time to strike.” He explains.

“So, hold on, we really doing this? Sieging the pearly gates?” You wonder.

“Yes.” He replies.

“Like, just now?” You wonder.

“In a moment, yes. I am already pushing against the barrier, and will open up a sizable hole at their gates. Then we break down the gate, and stroll through, and have a nice little chat with Father.” He says.

Do you want to try and get in on this heaven swapping war? You do like war. “Yes I do.” Oh, well I was going to—okay, well, is there anyone you want to bring with you?

[] Yes, write in
[] Nah, you and Lucy can do a pretty good job you think.
(2/2)

[X] Yes, write in

Caede should be able to survive, ask Sin-Fin if she wants to come. Don't want to risk anyone else.

>>39818824

> Anyone wanna tell Jager we just did the exact opposite of what she wanted?

>>39818824
Maybe Sin-Fin? I don't know, this seems to be moving way too fast and now I'm really sad.

>>39818824
[] Yes, write in
Caede and Sin fin, also plantdoka. Maybe Azzy.

>>39818824

> Caede, Sin Fin, Jager, Plant Bro

Alternately, you might want to offer suggestions.

>>39818824
>Well, it is just a talk.
Jager may be interested and it would be the best time to stab Lucy in the back and she might be all for that.

Sin Fin may have some questions for her Creator

Caede of course needs to come for some angel food cake

And our plant is just adorable. She should come.

>>39818933
Not sure about Caede, but yeah having Plant couldn't hurt maybe?

>>39818965

She kind of killed the Hellwyrm. Clearly that makes her a champion of good.

>>39818931
I feel like I already explained my position on this, but if you want to stick around at the end of the thread to talk about it you are more than welcome to.

>>39818959
If this is the end, I'd like Jager to be there, but then again I'm really scared for her, and not just because one or two players really seem to dislike her now.

>>39818824
>[] Yes, write in
take caede

>>39819007

Well, we did her loyalty mission, for whatever that's worth. If Azure kills her off, he kills her off. If not, then super fun time /u/-boat ending. I don't know. Just relax

>>39819039
Besides, killing god could end up being like killing the soul king, we can drag jager back from redeath kicking and screaming maybe? or she has a plan to kill god

She has that kind of plan with science? Right?

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So seems we are leaning towards Caede, Plantbro, Sin-Fin, and Jager?

>>39819099
Fuck it, why not Ryoko as well? Unless it'd mean she'd miss school.

>>39819064

More likely than not, knocking on God's door just leads into some convoluted second act wherein Lucy is going to kill us and finish juicing up with his completed set of Cthulhu bits. We have a journey into the soul assisted by whoever we brought along. Shit gets even more confusing and bizarre, and then we end the game.

What music should I listen to for the storming the pearly gates scene?

>>39819152
Oh god he is gonna eat us because we thought we'd have time to gitgud.

>>39819158

Now you fucked up, on loop. Alternately, Big Bad World 1, by Jonathan Coulton.

>>39819158
Risa Schroedinger vs. The World

Except instead of coins...there are red meaty bits we shove into our pockets.

>>39819099
Wait...don't we have the Norse Pantheon willing to throw down with our side?

>>39819128
I would like to see her again, though maybe it would be best if she just moved on from us.

>>39819280
I don't think they'd really be able to do much. Also we need some people left on our side if the Time Devourer is still something to deal with unless he's just the bad ending.

>>39819280

They agreed to help us with the great ball of nonsense that is the TD. While vengeance against Christianity might be on their agenda somewhere, we're probably going this one alone.

>>39819389
It's honestly kind of hard to convince people to fight God. Given you know it's God.

>>39819580
Maybe when Lucifer says he wants to have a nice little chat he's being serious? He IS an angel, after all.

Remember when you used to argue about powers?

>>39819706
There is only one thing to do. We have to kick the demon of sloth a couple thousand times to get him off his ass and helping.

>>39819706

I kinda miss those days. So simple and optimistic, even amongst so many people getting mad and arguing about shit. Or that could just be nostalgia vision.

>>39819806
I too miss the power sperg...it may too be nostalgia vision.

Say, what is Caede now? She's too big to be a knight of hell? Is she a duke? I bet she'd make a kick ass duke. Or Viscountess.

>>39819872

Even better.

She is a cutest.

>>39819806
we were mad at each other and not just spewing a blanket of bile on the quest


also, Risa and Satan storming heavens's gates demands heavy metal soundtack

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwIX8OcSqDk

>>39819872
Captain of the Round table of cuteness?
the Superhero Captain Kawaii
Uguu the Watcher?
the Desu Knight?

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>>39819905
>>39819880
I Need an edit or redraw of this with Caede and someone else from the cast.

>>39819905

People can only take so much compounding grim and derp before something breaks, and now we don't have those people anymore, along with quite a few others. I guess we can at least be thankful for the silence.

>>39820064
but AE liked the discussion. it showed people were invested.

we takes the silence as disinterest.

...
Ink squirt was cool!

>>39820160

Are we being silent now? I wonder how Jager will react to being told we're storming st peter's gates

>>39820188
>oh that's nice Risa have fu- WHAAAAAAAA?

>>39820215
AND YOU'RE COMING TO JAGER BOMBASTIC!

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2 Year anniversary in 22 days

>>39820064

The saddest mental image comes to mind, of a small girl tearfully holding up her much abused doll, restitched and cobbled together from mismatching parts after countless mishaps and innovative ideas on her part kept demanding new additions. She's trying to explain why her doll is special and unique to a darkly silhouetted audience. She excitedly chatters on and on about how she's an angel, cat, ghost, super model and her best friend is a....

The schpeel goes on and on as she tries to convey just how it all makes sense and how the grape juice stains her doll got after a few arguments she had had with some friends who don't come over to play anymore aren't so bad, really...

>>39820372
Risa would be an action figure

with kung fu grip!

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>>39820372
The feels.
I'm imagining the girl is Sin Finn and Risa is the doll

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“Let’s get Jager. She is made of spaceships, and we can fly her into heaven! Yeah! Best plan!” You say.

You hop into the shrine to find your muscular wolf woman. She is not under her bed, why did you look there first, I don’t—nor in her shower. Seriously, you are making me feel very nervous with you choice of places to look, and I don’t—nor is she in her closet. You sort through her clothes, putting some against yourself to look in the mirror, but without serious shapeshifting you will not be able to fully fill in her tops. Still, you throw on some of her outfits and let them fit loosely over your smaller frame. You hear someone clear her throat and look back to see Jager standing in the doorway amused. “Playing dress up Risa?”

“Yes. I am bringing sexy back.” You say looking as the oversized pants slip down your hips.

“Well, just put it all back when you’re done.” She sighs, then looks up as if in thought. “Actually, want me to do your makeup? You never really wear any, right?”

You almost go for it, but then remember you have business you need to get done. “Actually…” You explain what you did and, by the end of it, Jager has her eyes closed and is pinching the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger.
(1/3)

>>39820372
oh god...my heart

>>39820372
this quest stopped making sense to me a long time ago

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She sighs, so you open your mouth to say something, but she just holds up a finger and you sit back down and play with the too large tank top. Ha ha, it’s breezy. You flap it while she takes more steadying breaths, and you see her finally calm down. “Why did you think that was a good idea?” She wonders.

“Well, because I really thought he would be a nice Jesus and give me shortbread, but instead he was—“ You start but she shakes her head.

“The other thing.” She prompts.

“Oh! Well, uh, he asked me for help so I, um, I helped him get ready to kill God? Which is not what you told me to do!” You realize suddenly that is not what she told you to do. “Bloody hell, that isn’t what you told me to do! Damn you and your guiles Lucifer! Gillies? No, guiles sounds right.”

“So you kick started the apocalypse?” She asks.

“Technically it was an apocalypse already in progress.” You clarify. “I am just sort of giving it that last push.”

“So the world is destroyed, we all die, and Lucifer walks off in the throne of God?” Jager asks

“We, hrm, it, hrm.” You furrow your brow. That might be bad. “That could be bad, yeah.”

“God damn it Risa,” he just might, “why didn’t you come talk to me about this first? Why didn’t you just say no? We don’t have an army, or any preparation, or anything else!” Jager objects.

“But we have each other, and… and… and fashion sense!” You say with a pout.

“What if I don’t come with you?” Jager asks.

You freeze, your eyes watering over, and your lower lip quivering. She—but—Jager is our—you—I—“You aren’t… you aren’t coming with me?”
(2/4)

>>39820512
I like to think that she was just standing in the middle of the room the whole time but we just didn't notice.

Also, does Jager wear makeup?

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Jager rubs her eyes, still very annoyed you think, then she sighs. “Of course I am coming with you, you dingus. I just really, really wish you didn’t spring this on me like this. Or went about it like you did.” She called you a dingus. Make mad love to her.

“Monologue, I don’t even have Sir Quackington with me at the moment.” You note, shaking your head. “You will never learn, will you?” Yes I will. For example, your arm makes a really cool noise if you move it just so. You move your arm and it makes a strange oscillation noise as it ripples through the time stream. See? Didn’t even know we could do that, but I learned. “I stand corrected then.”

“Who else are you taking with?” Jager wonders.

“Um, Sin-Fin and Caede and Eugene.” You say

“I’ll go get ready. And put your clothes back on, you look unseemly.” Jager instructs, and you put your outfit back together.

You climb he wall to Sin-Fin’s room, then slip in through the now repaired window. “Hey buddy, how you feeling?” You ask.

Sin-Fin looks at you, then down, then at the wall. “I do… not. It is easier than being… sad, but then I remember I des…erve it and stop feeling no…thing.” She explains, then sinks a little as she reminded herself about how she should feel. Neat.
(3/4)

>>39820538
Oh god damn it, I should have known you'd do this.

You're not holding back at all.

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>>39820588
>he doesn't even wait for the updates to finish

wipe the egg off your face anon

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“Well, we are going to storm the pearly gates. It will be a hoot, come on!” You say making an overly enthusiastic arm wave.

“Ok..ay.” She sighs, getting up and slowly walks towards the rope that leads out of her room.

You pick up your plant while you leave the building, then tuck Caede under the other arm and smile. You plop them down on the ground then look over at Jager as she gets out of the shrine.

“Spaceship?” You wonder.

“Really? Wouldn’t it be better to stealth into the place, then try and be sneaky while—“ She asks but you pull on her arm.

“Spaceship! We can fly in there, and be all fwoom! Shewowm! Jager, we are storming heaven, bloody bleeding, ten angelic choirs, oh would you like a scone with that heaven. Can we pretty please go there in a spaceship?” You wonder.

Jager takes in a breath, then slowly lets it out. “Okay, fine. Go make your final preparations. I’ll pull the damn thing up.” She grumbles pushing some buttons.

You sit down and…
[] Play with Plantbro, just let her do her thing
[] Do one last thing before you go (What?)
[] Other, please specify
(4/4)

>>39820588

Logic is temporarily suspended. Comport yourself anon.

>>39820602
Eh, I knew she'd come with us, but telling us how dumb we are again just makes me sad.

But the again, it wouldn't be Jager if she didn't chide us.

>>39820608
>[] Play with Plantbro, just let her do her thing

spot her

>>39820608
>[] Play with Plantbro, just let her do her thing
It's been too long since our playdate with plantbro

>>39820608
>[] Play with Plantbro, just let her do her thing
>[] Do one last thing before you go (What?)
Maybe give Ryoko a goodbye present/strongly suggest she stay at Asgard?

Ask if Fuego wants to get in a man-off with Jesus? That could maybe be funny.

JESUS LIFTS

>>39820608
>Do one last thing before you go
Tell Ryoko to initiate evac procedures to rainbow her teen tucas to asgard and the funigami & nofunigami to prepare to defend humanity from above and below as the end times are nigh!

>>39820608

> Play with Plantbro
> Call Fuego. Tell him we met a man with bigger muscles than him. (He'll arrive in milliseconds)

>>39820608
>[] Do one last thing before you go
Tell Shiba and Ryoko that they should find some other reality (such as Asgard) to take temporary shelter in while the Apocalypse happens.

Also tell Fuego that Jesus lifts and is HUGE and has bigger muscles.

>>39820688
Is Asgard even safe? I guess it might be safer than here maybe?

Also should we ask Azzy if she wants any presents from us?

>>39820608
>[X] Do one last thing before you go (What?)
--[X] Tell Ryoko that the end is here so she may want to get far far away.

Is Jager going to sing rocketman?

>>39821183
as long as its the spoken word version a la Shattner

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hARDXYz2io

Should we put Timothy E. Devourer on our mantle?

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“I should probably go make sure Ryoko stays safe.” You say and hop up. Wait, were you sitting? Maybe not.

You sonido into the city, the warm air prickling your skin as you find Ryoko’s soul signature. You tap on her window a few times, then wait. She doesn’t show up so you keep tapping on it until you see her figure beyond the curtains tucking and adjusting her outfit, and when she opens the curtains you see she is wearing a towel. Your keen deductive skills conclude that she just got out of a shower! Good Job Risa! “Was that sarcasm?” You wonder. Nah, I think that robot rubbed off on me.

“Sensei! Hey, I just got out of the shower.” See? You earned that good job. “Come on in.”

You hop into the room and sniff around the area. “Your grandma isn’t here?” You ask.

“Nah, she has this thing she is going to with some of her friends. She won’t be back for about a week.” She sorts through her stuff. “Anyway, it was good you came by. I was looking through some of the magazines I, uh, I got, and I thought maybe if we tried some of them we might be able to figure out how to get your sex drive back up. I mean, do it enough times and you might find something else you like about it too, so that would be fun. We have at least a week, so—“ she starts but you shake your head.

“Can’t got some stuff to take care of. You, uh, you should get the cool people in the shrine and take them to Asgard. You are probably not going to want to be on this planet for a while.” You say.

She puts down the tentacle thing she is holding, then looks over at you. “Sensei, what happened?”

“Oh, you know, just this and that. Shouldn’t take took long to get sorted. Just grab your mates, and make sure you put some pants on, and you should be right as rain in a bit.” You explain.
(1/2)

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She sighs. “Fine! Jeez, I’ll go make sure everyone is sequestered away in another dimension. You better tell me what it is all about when you get back!”

“Scouts honor.” You were never a scout.

You leave her all blue… girled and make your way back to the shrine. You see no one there, though you can feel Lucifer pressing himself against reality pretty hard. You look around and, just before you cry because you get lonely easily, a strange beam of light falls over you. When the light fades you are standing on the command deck of the USS Wolfu. Jager is sitting in the captain’s seat with a nice little hat on, and honestly it is quite adorable.

“I want to do things to you that, in my mind, make no sense.” You say to Jager.

“Like what?” Jager asks, and you tilt your head.

“I don’t think I should say around young ears, but it probably involves my tail.” You explain and she adjusts her hat.

“Well, I will try and take that a compliment.” She says, and you imagine she is blushing, because that is how you roll.

“All crews reporting in, dimensional rift opening.” Jager says.

You need to take position in the ship somewhere, maybe push some buttons!

[] Take the weapon control system from the robot! You are best at weapons
[] Take the helm!
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)

>>39821422
>I, uh, I got, and I thought maybe if we tried some of them we might be able to figure out how to get your sex drive back up. I mean, do it enough times and you might find something else you like about it too, so that would be fun. We have at least a week, so—“

Ryoko staph

you were already best scrub a long time ago

>>39821446
>[] Take the weapon control system from the robot! You are best at weapons
Shit, did we miss our chance for Plant?

>>39821446
>Plantbro! Take weapons control! I shall sit on Jager's lap like the kitten of Docter Evil!

>>39821446
>[] Take the weapon control system from the robot! You are best at weapons

>>39821446
>[] Other, please specify

Ask Jager what we can do to help! She's the cap'n, after all!

>>39821446
>[] Take the weapon control system from the robot! You are best at weapons

Risa has a damn good track record with lasers and murder.

she wrote the book on lasers and murder. So what if it was just 12 lbs of blood and organs bound in human skin with a vas defrens as a book ribbon and only published in rural Australia?

>>39821446

> Spit up the core to Heavan's Main Canon
> Take the weapon control system from the robot

Strangely, Risa does (occasionally) seem to have an advanced grasp of physics and geometry. She'd do well as a gunner.

>>39821446
Take position on Jagers abs for good luck

>>39821480
She does have a lot better aim than we do. But I feel like we should maybe to do something.

I forget, can we boost morale with Idemque?

>>39821496
>>39821446


To specify, I want to hook up the main canon from Heaven's ordinance and load it into Jager's canon. Her sync technology should make good use of it.

>>39821446
>[] Other,
Take Comms!

And yeah, Ryoko's grandma is probably going to die. Unless Ryoko can find her and take her away to Asgard while this planet gets scourged by the Apocalypse, grandma's as good as dead.

>>39821518

Ryoko's grandmother is a valkyrie-esque Norse being. This has been hinted at somewhere close to a half dozen times. Don't worry about her.

>>39821510
If we haven't already digested it yet, then I don't see why we wouldn't give that a shot. Give them a taste of their own medicine sounds like it should work.

>>39821518

Or gramma had an inkling about what was going to happen and took cover.

>>39821510
>cannon's name shall be "Risa's toy gun of Heaven, Hell, Humanity, and Doctor Who"

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>>39821501
If... by boost morale you mean drive them bonkers. Then yes.

Oh, wait, what about Caede's human friends?
Are they all going to die?

>>39821547
I mean we're heading off to fight God, you'd HAVE to be bonkers to feel good about that.

Seriously though nah.

>>39821581
no, they ducked and covered.

they saw the PSAs

Weapons system is a go, it seems.

space invaders

>>39821604

What of the orb?

>>39821604
Can we do the Heaven cannon thing?

No, the orb is in your tummy

>>39821663
Curse our gluttony. Ah well.

>>39821663
what's it taste like?

ranch dressing?
Waffles?
Purple?

>>39821663
can we cough it up like a cat with hairball?

>>39821663

Well, that's disappointing. Kind of the first time in a while someone has bothered to cook up a functional plan.

>>39821692
Like a jawbreaker made of barbed wire, salty pennies, and milk

>>39821699

Just stick with the prompts anon, and we'll get through this.

>>39821716
...Heaven is lewder than I thought. What are they doing up there?

>>39821745
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKfupO4ZzPs

Would Risa wear those guys out?

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You kick one of the robots off of the weapon system, then glance back at Jager’s abs for just a second. No, no risa, you can’t lick them like they have a chocolate center. Even though they do. You push random buttons, make vague ship commands, then look up confused at Jager. She sighs and the control panel opens up and your arms fall into some pink wiggly things.

They squirm and dance, and the feel like tongues on your arms as they sink lower, and lower into the control port. You get up to your shoulders, with some of the tongue thingies stretching and tickling your armpit, but then they stop and you realize you can control the cannons of the ship with your mind. You point them left, then right. Then you fill them with energy and are delighted when they sputter purple. You’re inside Jager. Hee hee.

“Okay, okay the portal is opening. Wait for it. Wait for it.” Jager narrows her eyes, then slams her fist into her chair. “Now gun it!”

Plantbro pushes forward at max speed and you fly through the portal. In an instant you are before the great silvery gain of heaven. Below you is a scourge of blackness on the otherwise pristine dimension. Flashes of light and screams reach even up to the ship as Demons, Fallen, and Angels all duke it out over what is, honestly, probably just a misunderstanding. Your ship points at the pearly gates and you see a group of angels fly towards your massive ship.

“We’re so gunna die.” Jager sighs.

Hollow Quest Redux 128 end.

Okay, here seems to be a good place to stop. Around for questions, concerns, comments, accusations, etc. for a bit as per normal.

I will let you use the orb thingy on the gates next thread, but not because I like you or anything you d--double baka.

>>39821853
Thank you for running. I really mean it.

also this question
>>39821777

I know Azzy would

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>>39821853
>I will let you use the orb thingy on the gates next thread, but not because I like you or anything you d--double baka.
AzureEarth best girl.

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>>39821887
Risa would confuse them

Thanks for playing and being awesome. I also really mean that!
>>39821896
D: <

>>39821853
Did we only have time to talk to one NPC and had Ryoko over Fuego and Plant? I don't mind saying goodbye to best scrub, but I'm still sad that by the time plant was back, we never really made time to hang with her.

>>39821896
Is this what AE looks like? I need to know for....reasons.

>>39821920
we're bringing time plant to battle so there will be plenty of time to exchange one liners with her (and by exchange I mean we imagine she makes quips with us)

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>>39821920
Yes, just time for the one thing.

>>39821853
Thank you for running, and let's try and make the prelude to your adventures in glorious Nippon as fun as possible.

Have you tried Japanese beer and/or sake before? If not, are you looking forward to it?

>>39821956
I hear their instant ramen is loads better than the stuff we get here

>>39821967
As in it's actually food?

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>>39821938
I have no such knowledge of such a creature!
>>39821956
Thank you for playing.

I have tried them. I will enjoy them as much as I can!

>>39821991
you could get actual ramen made by a street vendor if you wanted actual food.

they don't have to settle for freeze dried stuff like we do, but we won the war.

>>39821991
>>39821967

Ramen is something like actual food over there, and because the expectation nutritionally is higher and the domestic nature of the food means there is more competing brands, they try harder to market to the consumer.

>>39822011
should we bake or fry the time devourer?

>>39822072

Please don't mention TD. Every time you do my brain hurts, and I get sad.

>>39822083
Timothy E. Devourer

with ranch dressing and BBQ sauce for dipping

Have fun in Jay Pan

I hope senpai notices you

>>39822072
Saute
>>39822138
Not until it's too late

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jlHz0wF0Ig

>>39822179
Wait when are you leaving for Japan?

>>39822305
This month

>>39822441

When is HQR running next?

>>39822441
Any chance of another world of lewd before you disappear?

How long you gonna be gone for?

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>>39822450
I may have something going on next week, so I am not sure. May be able to do something this weekend
>>39822476
Yes, people are just jumping the gun!

A month or so

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>>39822513
what is the caliber of the gun they are jumping?

>>39822598
Just a nine mil

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After 10,000 years in MSP I'm finally free
Its time to conquer Earth

>>39822754
Ha ha, awww

Fell asleep. Thank you for running!