>>39847334
Female
Allie
4 and a half
We are starting kindergarten in the fall.

>>39847334
>>39847343
This, but change the age to 17 and the occupation to student in Highschool.

>>39847343
I will say that obviously silly choices will be ignored. If you want to change it, I'll give you five minutes, but then I'll start writing.

>>39847549
Writing.

>>39847619
The meagre workload they've given you for this weekend is done - really, it's almost like they don't care. You flip through channels aimlessly, searching for something that might be interesting. Finally, you find...

>Write-in - what do you find interesting? Give me three interests Allie has. This can be anything - cooking, World War II tanks, voodoo, whatever. Some of this stuff may come up later, so it's not as useless as it may sound.

>In addition, pick one, and only one, perk.
>>Powerful - you have more strength than most girls your age.
>>Smart - your mind is more nimble than most of the people you interact with on a day-to-day basis.
>>Agile - you are more flexible than one might expect to look at you.
>>Tough - you are surprisingly difficult to hurt and have more endurance than might be expected.
>>Strong-Willed - you have more willpower than the average girl of your age, and you are able to resist mental fatigue and such better.
>>Quick - you are faster and react more quickly than one might expect to look at you.

>>39847726
>Interests
WWII Nazi politics
Fencing
Extreme survival

>>Strong-Willed

>>39847726
>Gaming
>Biology
>I have no idea.

>Strong-Willed - you have more willpower than the average girl of your age, and you are able to resist mental fatigue and such better.

>>39847726
>Write in
Sex
Gaming
Anime

>Strong willed

Rolled 3, 2, 2 = 7 (3d5)

>>39847765
>>39847811
Okay, Strong-Willed.

However, I've got five choices for interests. Rolling and writing.

Rolled 5, 4 = 9 (2d5)

>>39847905
>>39847811
>>39847765

>>39847906
Okay, gaming it is. Scratch the rest, I'm going to reroll, then write.

>>39847921
You've somehow managed to stumble upon a show about one of your interests - extreme survival. Screw Bear Grylls, he's small time.

You're getting pretty engrossed in the show, when a commercial break happens. As per usual, you grab the remote and press mute. Commercials bore you, much like they do most people.

>You MAY take one of the following penalties for an additional perk, other than Strong-Willed. You don't have to, however.
>Weak - you have noodly arms and poor strength in general.
>Dull - other people tend to run rings around you, mentally.
>Stiff - you don't have the flexibility most people do.
>Flimsy - you bruise easily, and you've had more broken bones than most.
>Slow - your reactions are shot, and you've never won, or even come in the top half, of any race you've been in.

>>39847994
No extra perk.

>>39848033
Writing.

>>39848179
You consider getting a snack. You're not really hungry, but it's something to do, isn't it? All of a sudden, you hear a musical jingle. It's not the doorbell, it's not your phone - it's the TV. But you muted it, didn't you?

Currently on the screen is a pair of red curtains, which open to reveal a tall, thin man, wearing a suit and carrying a microphone. "Hello, lucky winner!" he says, in an atrocious Brooklyn accent. Winner? You don't remember even entering anything, let alone winning. "You were entered into a prize draw, and your name came out of the hat. Congratulations, Allie! You've won an all-exclusive chance to appear on a series of TV shows, which will be broadcast over the whole country!"

As he speaks, he gestures animatedly, lights flash and spotlights roll.

"The first show will be next Saturday - don't worry about turning up, we'll find you!" the man continues. "There will, however, be a few rules, so I'll lay them down now."

"Firstly, interacting with anyone outside the show is a no-no. We wouldn't want to spoil the integrity and verisimilitude of the show, now, would we? Don't worry about telling the unwashed masses from the stars, it'll all be obvious."

"Secondly, if you get killed, we will scoop up the bits and put them back together. We can't promise that you'll be returned to life, but we'll do our best." He gives a wink, and a laugh track plays for about two seconds.

"Finally, there are consequences should you break the rules." He stands aside, and reveals a figure who you recognise - it's that bitch from school, whats-her-name. Victoria. She looks confused, and a little scared. "Come here," the man says, beckoning to her. She approaches hesitantly.

As soon as she's within arms reach, the man grabs her by the shoulders, moves his mouth towards her head, and does... something. Ripping sounds are audible, and splattering noises.

>cont.

>>39848335
The man turns around - and spits out a pair of eyeballs. Victoria's eyeballs. She's standing there, clearly in shock, blood streaming from the empty sockets.

You don't know whether it's extremely good writing, or whether he's expecting your horrified reaction - she might be a bitch, but nobody deserves that - but the man looks almost shocked, and says, "What? Eyes grow back!"

>What's your reaction? Write-in.

>>39848357
>"Oh god..." - shock, fear and maybe a little disgust.
>Cringe - fear and sympathy.
>"Eyeballs don't grow back..." - horrified confusion.
>Write-in.

>>39848577
Run. Run fast away.

>>39848577
>"Eyeballs don't grow back..." - horrified confusion.
>CGI?!

>>39848733
>>39848626
Writing.

>>39848788
You recoil in horror and whisper, "Eyeballs don't grow back..."

At this, the man's expression darkens. "Whaddayamean, eyeballs don't grow back?! FINE!" He turns, swings one arm at Victoria - and her head sails off, hitting one of the currtains. He angrily turns back to the camera, and points a finger at you. "Don't talk back," he snarls, and the TV cuts back to a muted commercial.

You are frozen in pure terror for a moment or two, then dash over to the TV and turn it off. You then run to your room, dive under the covers and lie there in the fetal position, shivering.

It's some time before you're able to think clearly about what just happened, simply because you're so damn scared. However, thinking back on it, you manage to get your thoughts in order and work through what you've been told.

>Welcome to Surreal Television Quest!
>As you may well have gleaned, this will be an episodic quest - there'll be two or three sessions a week, one or two mid-week and one at the weekend.
>The mid-week interludes will focus on "real-life" - school, friends, the random bullshit that makes up everyone's day-to-day existence.
>The weekend episodes, however, will be focused on Allie's appearance in some sort of TV show. Exactly what TV show will vary from week to week, but friends made and actions taken during the week (that is, in the mid-week interlude) may help or hinder you. You won't receive any overt prior warning about what show's coming up, but I may drop hints. If you're astute and connect the dots, you may well be able to figure out what kinds of skills you'll need to have to succeed.

>cont.

>>39849015
>There's one last bit of character generation left.
>Almost everyone has something about them that they'd rather not have come to light, and you're no different. So, what's your secret?
>>Con-woman - you're a good liar. A very good liar. If you were of age, you could probably make a living as a politician or some other public job where making big promises and seeming sincere about them pays well. However, you aren't, so you can't.
>>Kleptomaniac - you take thing. Trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of thing. Mostly. Sometimes, you take larger things, like that one time you managed to swipe that guy's wallet from his back pocket. You also take things from school, and you have been known to sneak into your neighbours' houses and take items while they're not there.
>>Cruiser - You're lazy. You've coasted through life on natural talent. You're getting through school simply by being smart and having a decent dose of common sense, and your grades are decent. You're pretty good at most things you turn your hand to, but nothing special. You probably could be, if you felt like it, but you've never really done anything difficult in your life, and you don't see any reason to start now.
>>Sadist - You take pleasure in causing people and animals pain. You enjoy seeing people in distress that you've caused, and you used to torture animals when you were younger. You... kinda grew out of torturing animals, but you still enjoy inflicting pain far more than is normal, or really healthy. [NOTE: This is not sexual sadism. It's just the regular, everyday kind. Inasmuch as that exists.]
>>Spiteful - You hate not getting your own way. But you don't let people know about it there and then. Oh, no. You hold grudges. Like, that one time when your pencil-case got stolen? When you found out who did it, you tripped them up at the top of some stairs, when no-one could actually prove that it was you. The fact that they got a broken arm out of it made you feel a lot better.

>cont.

>>39849105
>>Innocent - You are one of the remarkable few who has no secret. You're fine with everyone knowing everything about you.

>Each of these dark secrets has a benefit. I won't tell you what they are, but you may well be able to work it out from the description. Also, if this dark secret comes out in public, expect repercussions.

>>39849105
>>Sadist - You take pleasure in causing people and animals pain. You enjoy seeing people in distress that you've caused, and you used to torture animals when you were younger. You... kinda grew out of torturing animals, but you still enjoy inflicting pain far more than is normal, or really healthy. [NOTE: This is not sexual sadism. It's just the regular, everyday kind. Inasmuch as that exists.]

>>39849147
>If you don't feel like taking any of the dark secrets I've supplied, feel free to write in.

>>39849166
This.

>>39849166
>>39849349
Writing.

>>39849396
It takes some time for you to recover your thoughts. From what you've gathered, you're going to be facing some sort of TV show in the future. What, you have no idea. That said, you might be able to work some sort of strategy out ahead of time. However, right now, it's still Saturday - you've got a whole week ahead of you to get through before then.

>See if that show's still on.
>Turn on the computer and kill some time that way.
>Head outside.
>Read. Hey, some people still do that.
>Write-in.

>>39849495
>See if that show's still on.
>If not, turn on the computer.

Just caught up and we had to choose the worst dark secret

>>39849495
>Turn on the computer and kill some time that way.

Research what just happened

>>39849673
It will inure us to bad shit happening to people around us and make us more okay with hurting people if we need to. Works well with high willpower.

>>39849673
Not necessarily. That secret will have applications at some points in the future.

In all honesty, all of the secrets would have given some sort of bonus, including Innocent.

File: OnlyOneBread.png (396 KB, 401x599)

396 KB PNG

>>39849534
>>39849682
Writing.

Also, what the fuck is this shit, captcha?

>>39849799
Probably the muffins for number two.

>>39849799
You decide to head downstairs and see whether your programme's still on. Sadly, when you get down there, you find that it isn't. Instead, there's some sort of programme about gold. You stare blankly at it for a few seconds, then turn it off again and boot up the computer.

You open up the browser and go straight to Google, typing in "muted television talking". This turns up about eleven million results, and you haven't got time to look through them all. However, when you put quotes around it, you hit the jackpot. A couple of hits, on fora. Apparently, you're not the only person who's had this happen to them.

>Click the first link - some sort of psychology forum.
>Click the second link - someone's blog?
>Click the third link - you're not quite sure what the hell's up with this one, but it looks like it might be a forum?
>Click the fourth link - it looks like it might be some sort of government site.

>>39849933
>Click the fourth link - it looks like it might be some sort of government site.

>>39849824
Muffins are not bread. I don't care what anyone else thinks, muffins are not, never have been and never will be bread.

That said, I did get a picture of bara brith once, so...

>>39849950
I got a milkshake that was apparently 'ice cream', and hamburgers are NOT sandwiches. Nonetheless, captcha says otherwise.

>>39850008
>hamburgers are NOT sandwiches
Damnit, Captcha. Are you actually high or something?

The ice-cream thing is actually plausible, though. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of milkshakes have ice-cream in them.

>>39849933
>The Third link
A hidden 4chan board?

>>39850040
Milkshake made with ice cream = a fucking milkshake goddammit, not ice cream. It's liquid! LIQUIIIID.

>>39849948
>>39850056
Writing.

>>39850213
You click on the fourth link first. It looks like it's some sort of governmental site - but it's not a department you've ever heard of. Something about pilgrims and national mental health. Weird. There's a lot of jargon, and not much of any actual use.

You click back to the Google results page, and click on the third link this time. This one's equally strange, but it's more readable. If only because it appears to be a splash page for a site which, when you click on into it, appears to be dedicated to some sort of ARG. Then you notice a name you recognise. Stephen Karloff. Now why do you recognise that name?

>Dice time! Target number = 7
>Average Intellect - 3 rolls.

>All dice in this quest are done using 4d6-4. The options bar should read "dice+4d6+-4", for reference.
>Each stat and each skill has a particular level. For stats, these are "Terrible", "Poor", "Average", "Good" and "Amazing", while for skills they run "Beginner", "Professional", "Expert" and "Master". These correspond to a certain number of dice - Terrible in a stat gives you one roll when using that stat, while having an Amazing stat gives you rolls when using that stat. Similarly, Beginner level in a skill gives you one roll, while Master level gives you four rolls.
>However, when using skills, there may well be the option to apply a stat as well, given the situation. If there is, I'll say, and give you the total number of rolls.

>>39850482

>>39850482
>Since it's a simple test - "can I remember this thing?" - there will only be one success required.
>More complex tasks - "am I able to cook dinner for myself, three friends and my teacher" - will require more successes. However, they will also usually allow you to apply stats to them, so the cooking example I just gave might allow you to apply your speed or agility to get around the kitchen faster, or your intellect to allow you to work out how to juggle all the various recipes at the same time.

Rolled 5, 6, 3, 5 - 4 = 15 (4d6 - 4)

>>39850482

Rolled 6, 4, 6, 5 - 4 = 17 (4d6 - 4)

Testing to see whether /tg/ dice handle this.

>>39850561
>>39850572
One more roll, pease, unless you're not willing to count the roll I made.

Rolled 5, 5, 5, 6 - 4 = 17 (4d6 - 4)

>>39850482

>>39850561
>>39850572
>>39851772
Writing.

>>39851890
You wrack your brains over the course of the next half hour, but still can't work out where you've herd this Stephen Karloff's name before. Even putting iit into Goggle doesn't help, giving you a bunch of LinkedIn profiles and Facebook pages.

As the day, and the weekend, wears on, you find yourself thinking less and less about that incident with the TV. By the time Monday rolls round, it's still there in your mind, but you're focused on other stuff so much it might as well not be.

---------------------

>I think I'm going to call it here; I'm getting pretty sleepy.
>Next session will be Tuesday, heading into Wednesday and Thursday if needed.
>Thanks for playing, folks.
>Feel free to ask questions.