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You emerge on the other side in a forest ancient beyond belief. Masive stone walls flank you on either side, Greek lettering carved into their surface. The trees tower hundreds of feet tall, dwarfing the pitiable twigs that filled the wood you came from. In front of you is a small marble rotunda, the domed ceiling supported by fluted ionic columns.

Guards appear on either side of you, melting from the stone. They appear as empty suits of armor, wielding chipped axes and carrying massive shields decorated with gold and gemstones. As you get closer to the rotunda you can see other figures already seated around what appears to be a small table at the center, a platter of snacks and a tea pot set out for them.

One appears as a ten foot bear in heavy armor, a sword strapped to its hip and an axe longer than you are tall resting next to it. The second figure resembles a human with impossibly long white hair. It cascades around her, long enough to serve as a dress. She's dark skinned, and wearing some manner of silk garment. The third and final figure seems to be some sort of plant woman. Her head is a red flower in bloom and her skin has an unnatural, greenish hue. This ignoring the fact that her eyes are solid black, lacking pupils or sclera.

The horned woman leads you up a flight of marble stairs, up to the rotunda. It feels as though there are a dozen pairs of eyes boring into you, despite the fact you only count four people here besides yourself. The horned woman handles introductions. “Dame Ursula, Queen Paludis, Lady Nubis-” She addresses each of the three in turn. “-I would like you to meet our guest for the afternoon.”

Shit, that seems like your cue to introduce yourself. They're all staring at you. Fuck, what are you supposed to say? They all have titles, should you make up a title? Will they laugh at you if you give them some normal name?

>Best to make something up, quick. (Write-in)
>Just introduce yourself normally.
>Write-in

>>40455652
Weren't we shot in the chest?

>>40455748
Twice in the chest, once in the head. If I recall correctly.

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>>40455652
IT'S BACK

>just introduce yourself

>>40455762
That does sound right, I'd forgotten the last one.

>>40455665
Baron Von Reichstag

>>40455665
>Just introduce yourself normally.

>>40455665
Give them a deep bow, introduce, and say we're a shaman of sorts

>>40455665
Sir Donovan, Death Knight.

>>40455665
>>Just introduce yourself normally.

>>40455665
We got Queen, Lady, Dame...

Only seems fitting that we adopt a title in this auspicious company.

Write in.

Lord Heinrick der Vungheild

>>40455665
>>Write-in
Dr. Donny M.
Spiritual Physicist

>>40455665
>Best to make something up, quick. (Write-in)

Don Glover

>>40455665
>Best to make something up, quick. (Write-in)
Satan

Let's just introduce ourselves normally so we don't insult them by accidentally mocking them or something.

>>40455665
Donovan Murphy, the pleasure is mine. Maybe a bow too if Dons inner Jew feels it apt

>>40455907
>>40455848
>>40455883
Sounds like a nice way to end up with a bunch of fairies killing us, or torturing us forever

>>40455665
>Just introduce yourself normally

>>40455925
Lucifier*
We are the light bringer, not Gods enforcer

I literally just got done reading the archives for this quest yesterday. Talk about convenient.

>>40455985
This is the thread where we get our real power up super powers anon. Up to now, we have been just playing around.

Its time to get real and they are showing us that real means a real name with a real title.

Follow the leader. What could go wrong?

>>40456316
Today is an anomaly, prepare to be disappointed

>>40456334
Except they actually have land and got those titles, also they are fae and we are in the middle of fae lands, we have no power here

>>40456337
Oh, I plan on it. I was saddened yesterday because I knew I probably wouldn't see anymore of it in the near future. I know I'll suffer that heartbreak soon, but for now, I'm just going to enjoy lifequest.

>>40456388
oh.
ok.
I give up.

Write in. Bob Smith

>>40456516
Write in. John Smith

Shit, sorry. Had a phone call.
Writin' for
>Just introduce yourself.

>>40456644
Aaand dropped my trip.

So if they got the title of lady how about we use a title of Mr. or Gentleman, to spite them like the wee lil cunts we are, aye?

>>40456882
>wanting a spiteful fae up your ass
No

>>40456882
I have already been reprimanded for expressing the sentiment that we should use a title.

Please keep up with the brow beating so you will not seem out of place.

Thank you.

>>40456950
>not wanting a spiteful fae up your ass
>implying it's not my fetish
>implying I did not put it there

>>40456995
Being turned inside out while a ball of knives us up your ass is not a good thing

I feel like I should post a reference to the incase comic with the summoner. So yeah consider this that.

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You bow low to the assorted spirits. They are evidently nobility, after all. “Donovan Murphy, a pleasure to meet all of you.”

Queen Paludis, the woman with a giant flower for a head, speaks up. Her voice is shrill and harsh, almost painful to listen to. “Queen Silvae really, why must you always insist on inviting the common trash to our luncheons?”

The woman with white hair and dark skin, Lady Nubis, ogles you licentiously without making so much as a vague attempt at modesty. “Oh do relax, Silvae's pet mortals always are so much fun. If you'd really just give one a try you'd be far more fond of them.”

Paludis scowls. “Really, Lady Nubis. Act with some modicum of dignity. You're a noble lady, even if you do come from a court of backwards airheads.”

Dame Ursula grunts, her heavy paw slamming against the surface of the table and rattling the platters of tiny pastries and cups of tea. The two squabbling women fall silent. When Ursula speaks, her voice comes out as a deep roar. “If you two don't stop bickering I'll rip your heads off with my teeth and let my cubs feed on the flesh of your corpses!”

Queen Silvae seems completely oblivious to the strife amongst her guest. She sits daintily at her seat and pats the chair next to her, motioning for you to follow suit. It's not like you really have a choice in the matter. Sliding into the seat you adopt a stiff, upright posture while Silvae pours tea for you and her.
(1/2)

>>40457045
For you.

>>40457061
The one where the futa demon fucks the trap summoner up the ass?

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Once she's finished pouring she plucks up her cup and daintily raises it to her lips. Much to your surprise she drinks greedily, slurping at the liquid within with unexpected vigor. As she finishes she smacks her lips, sighing gratefully before setting down her cup and saucer. “Wonderful as always, Ursula. You really must tell me what you put in this special blend of yours.”

The horned woman's yellow eyes turn towards you. She's watching you expectantly, the other woman following suit. With an unnatural echo to her voice Queen Silvae ask. “Tell me, Mister Murphy. What do you think of Ursula's tea?”

>Mimic her, take a sip of tea.
>You might as well take a cake as well, though truthfully you're not that hungry.
>Eating food served to you by a fae? Seems like a bad idea. Pretend to take a sip but don't actually do so.
>Write-in

>>40457086
That Dame Ursala is quite the looker.

>>40457113
Either compliment the aroma, the presentation or something along those lines or make sure that the deal is our opinion for the cup of tea

>>40457113
>>Eating food served to you by a fae? Seems like a bad idea. Pretend to take a sip but don't actually do so.
But don't pretend, just say that its aroma is absolutely divine. They would probably catch us faking it

>>40457172
Good idea.

>>40457113
>Eating food served to you by a fae? Seems like a bad idea. Pretend to take a sip but don't actually do so.

Careful, careful here...

>>40457113
>Mimic her, take a sip of tea.

whatstheworstthatcouldhappen.jpg

>>40457113
>>40457167
I'll support this. Retracting >>40457175

>>40457086
>these cunts
Hey guys, once we're strong enough want to come back and rip these cunts a new one?

>>40457113
this>>40457167

>>40457203
>invited to tea twenty years later
>Don hasn't aged a day
>shakes one of their hands
>only a pop is heard as she is removed from existence

>>40457226
>>40457201
>>40457172
>>40457167
>Don't take a sip, but compliment the superficial aspects of the tea.

>>40457186
>Lick the candy.

Writin'

>>40457292
>superficial
Just the type of shit fae love, not like they give a shit what a dirty mortal says

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>>40455652
HOLY SHIT ITS BACK!

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You pick up the cup carefully, as though it might snap in your hand, and raise it to your lips. Rather than take a sip, you merely inhale the aroma. It hits you like a brick to the face. Cloying sweetness, it seems to stick in your nostrils and ooze down your throat. It's all you can do not to gag as you place the cup carefully on the saucer in front of you.

The four women only look at you more expectantly as you clear your throat, trying to rid yourself of the last vestiges of the smell. “The aroma is just so... invigorating, Dame Ursula.” Silence reigns. “And the presentation! That rich golden color, the design on the plate. Truly, it's perfection.” You can't help but feel you're laying it on a little too thick.

Fortunately it works. The massive armored bear bows her head in thanks, her voice coming out as a deep growl. “It's a family recipe, passed down to me by my mother through her mother before her, and so on and so forth.”

You feel a hand slide across your thigh and cast a glance towards Lady Nubis where she sits next to you. She's trying to suppress a grin by biting her lower lip and failing miserably. Before you can say anything Queen Paludis speaks. “What do you do, Mister Murphy? You mortals are always so terribly droll, I do hope you're an exception to prove the rule.”

Queen Silvae raises a hand admonishingly. “Now now, Paludis. I invited you here as a show of good faith, a show of solidarity between our two realms, but if you continue to insult my guest I'll simply have to have you sacrificed to my father.”

(1/2)

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The flower headed woman sneers at Silvae's threat. “Please, you wouldn't dare.” After a brief silence Paludis sighs moodily. “Though I suppose an apology is in order. I ought to at least allow the mortal-” The way she says it like some sort of epithet really rubs you the wrong way. “-to prove himself worthy of our attentions before I consign him the status of a useless worm.”

>Tell them about your new job as a Repo Agent and what that entails.
>Talk about your recent death and return to life after bargaining with a giant conglomerate of flesh.
>Write-in

>>40457836
>>Tell them about your new job as a Repo Agent and what that entails.
I'm also going to kill my coworker/partner and eat his heart. It's rather druidic and archaic, but you really can't beat the classics.

>>40457836
>>Tell them about your new job as a Repo Agent and what that entails.
>>Talk about your recent death and return to life after bargaining with a giant conglomerate of flesh.
>>Write-in
>Turn the question around and ask what they're all about.

>>40457937
Dude. One of the rules of the bargain is that noone can know. Else we get dead for good.

>>40457913
I'll second this.

>>40457836
>>Tell them about your new job as a Repo Agent and what that entails.

>>40457913
seconding
>>40457951
was it? I don't recall that

>>40457836
>>Tell them about your new job as a Repo Agent and what that entails.

>>40457951
Technically speaking the terms of the deal were that no "mortals" would know. You already told Anastasia, a spirit and/or ghost of Princess Anastasia of Tsarist Russia, and nothing seemed to come of it.

>>40457836
>I'm payed to go wherever people don't pay, and to change their bad habit, though I have yet to have my first day on the field.
So basically the repo job.
>And also I suppose this kind of thing, as in dealing with the non-mortal, is also somethibg I do nowadays.

>>40457986
Leverage. Telling them that gives them the opportunity to blackmail us by allowing a mortal to know of our deal. Might not be an issue now, but if we get tons of power and become a bigshot, that's a lethal liability. Still a bad idea.

>Talk about your repoman job.
Writin'

>>40457913
seconding but also vaguely mentioning the deal

>>40457836
>>Talk about your recent death and return to life after bargaining with a giant conglomerate of flesh.
>also a repo man
they aren't mortal, we can tell them

>>40457937
I support this, under the presumption that we can tell as many immortals about our deal as we please.

>>40458036
>payed
>wherever
>awful sentence structure
please learn english you lil shit

>>40458096
Yeah, we can, but we don't want to.
We want them to find us amusing enough to let leave, maybe regard positively, but not interesting enough to wants us to stay here forever or something.
I support >>40458036

>>40458044
>become big and strong
>ILL TELL PEOPLE!
>submit
>Yes sir mister Don sir
Blackmail only works when the person you blackmail can't enslave your ass

>>40458132
It's 2am here you fuck, I'm literally half asleep right now.

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What is this? what's going on?

Am I dead?

>>40458161
Anonymous communication with couriers. Mortal servants kept ignorant. A letter left on our doorstep outlining their deal and their leverage. Good lord man. It's like you don't instantly start calculating ways of how people you just met might screw you over after exchanging pleasantries.

>>40458161
you are adorable

>>40458203
Then it's not black mail, it's just getting bone lord mad at us. If their lucky, they might end up getting smited, I doubt nito would take kindly to them just handing out that shit to mortals.

>>40458228
That's not how the deal works Anon.

>>40458228
>thinking Nito has any direct power in this realm
Holy shit anon, come on, you can't be this stupid

>>40458228
>their lucky
But who, or maybe what, is lucky?

Jokes aside, stop being dumb.

>>40458248
>>40458266
>>40458271
Even in the worst "you are now ded, bad end" case it's still not blackmail you niggers

>>40458303
Shut the fuck up you pedantic slut.

>>40458324
No cockmunch, if I'm gonna be wrong, you are gonna be entirely right.

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>>40458266
>Doubting Nito

>>40458352
Alone in the dark was a shit movie.
Though I personally enjoyed it, somewhat.

>>40458352
Does "Let me in I'm a human" work on fairys?

>>40458352
Seems pretty obvious he has been sealed away or something and is using us as a means to get his foot in the mortal realm.

>>40458414
He revived us, I'm fine with us reviving him.

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>>40458352
I remember I had something called the flaming skeleton theory involving him if I remembered

>>40458414
What made you think that? Are you dumb or retarded? He literally said we aren't the only one with this deal.
Don't
Doubt
The
Bone
Lord

>>40458484
Obviously, all the others haven't ben successful in doing what he wants, recall that he is waiting for "the one" and we were just "he'll do I suppose"

>>40458544
That sounds like doubt
What did I just say you damn amnesiac

>>40458580
I dont doubt that hes not infallible

:^)))))))

>>40458414
Oh please, we're not even the first mortal he's contracted into this gig. If he wanted to get into the mortal realm he could've accomplished that without us.

>>40458608
I'm gonna come to your house and beat you to death.

>>40458647
Will you dress up as a skeleton?

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You wave a hand dismissively, relaxing slightly. “Oh, I'm not that interesting really. I'm a Corporate Repossession Officer, basically I-”

You're interrupted by a hand sliding up your thigh to grip your manhood in an uncomfortably firm grip. Damn it, you're a married man! What would your wife think if she saw this right now? Lady Nubis' sweet, soft voice rings out through the rotunda only a moment later. “What's that word, corporate mean?”

Trying to ignore the Way Nubis' fingers play across the straps of your armor, trying to undo the crotch flap. Would it be rude to point it out? Should you push her hand away? Would she throw a fit? For now you focus on her question. “A corporation is a large collection of people working towards the same goal, and in this case the goal is making money.”

Dame Ursula's rumbling voice speaks up. “So it's a court by another name.” It's not really a question, just a statement of fact.

You fold your hands in your lap, subtly pushing the reinforced crotch plate of your armor downward and protecting your bits from Nubis' eager ministrations. Finally, you can breathe easy again now that you're not being molested. “I suppose so, Ursula. Anyway, I work for this corporation, this court if you prefer, gathering debts owed to them. They compensate me generously in exchange. In fact, I'm about to travel far into the frozen south to recover a few things my employers loaned to a man, and whilst there I plan on killing my coworker and eating his heart.”

Queen Paludis, who'd been sitting through your story looking terribly bored, perks up at that. “Now that does sound interesting. You mortals are usually so opposed to cannibalism for some bizarre reason. How has this 'co-worker'-” She says the word awkwardly, as if she's never heard it before now. “-wronged you?”

>Tell them about your murder in the woods.
>Tell them it's for no real reason, you just feel like it.
>Try to avoid the question by asking about her.
>Write-in

>>40458677
PRAISE BE UNTO THE BONE LORD

>>40458715
>>He hurt my fucking dog.

Nature fey. Use animals to gain brownie points.

>>40458715
He killed me, I'm killing him back

>>40458715
He killed me, I got better.

>>40458715
>>Tell them about your murder in the woods.

>>40458715
>>He tried to kill you.

>>40458715
>>Tell them about your murder in the woods.

>>40458677
>Tell them about your murder in the woods.

Ok, ok..its obvious he wants us to tell them about the murder. Are we getting to the good part where they give us super powers yet?

>>40458715
>Tell them about your murder in the woods.
"He tried to kill me. Did in fact. Since then things have been interesting."
Is this a way to tell them without being specific on our Resurrection.

also supporting this>>40458781

>>40458781
>>40458715
I like this. Mix of truth and deliberate misinformation. Supporting.

>>40458781
>he hurt my dog, I will eat his heart as the sun touches the sky
I bet the bear would love it

>>40458781
this

>>40458715
>Tell them about your murder in the woods.
>Also, he kicked my dog.

>>40458715
>He hurt my dog, shot me several times, and he also might be a cliché serial killer who mutilates the corpses of his victims.
No specifying being killed.

>>40458715
>Tell them about your murder in the woods.
"It was a simple affair, he had destroyed my heart and head. Some circumstances allowed for my revival and due to those circumstances, it has become necessary to kill him horribly and eat his heart"

>>40458715
>Tell them about your murder in the woods.
Also kicked my fukkin doug

>Fucker kicked my dog and shot me.
Writin'

>>40458715
>He hurt my fucking dog.
I'm with this vote

Super vex

>>40458715
I support >>40458863
let's not reveal everything, in fear of them insisting we tell us more

>>40458923
Well then that wouldn't actually explain why we want to eat his heart, which is what they asked us.

>>40458727
More like BONER lord

>>40459274
Could just say "It's part of a deal of mine with one of the supernatural."

>>40459285
BLASPHEMY
I'm coming to your house too faggot

>>40459274
>"I saw it in a movie once."

>>40459274
I'll be hungry after the battle
I MUST GAIN HIS COURAGE
[Insane babbling]
ONLY HIS BLOOD SHALL RIGHT THE WRONGS THAT HE HAS WROUGHT

>>40459392
Threesoma sounds nice

>>40459408
>Queens decide to get a home entertainment system and a subscription to netflix.

You let a hint of anger enter your tone, ignoring the way Nubis is pouting at you. “He kicked my dog, shot me repeatedly, and killed a woman in what I assume is cold blood. Really, if I did anything less than kill him and eat his heart how could I say that justice had been paid? How could I say I'd done my job as a collector of debts owed?”

Queen Silvae rest a hand on your shoulder, a sense of calm suddenly washing over you. Oddly it makes you hungry. “Does it not seem excessive to kill a man merely for attempting to kill you? Would it not be best to attempt to kill him but ultimately fail?”

You're not wholly certain how to respond to that at first. How would you go about trying to kill someone without actually intending to kill them? Fortunately a thought occurs to you. “Oh no, Queen Silvae. You see this debt is already a few days old. My coworker has started to accumulate interest and it's this interest which has turned what would have been an attempted murder into a murder.”

The horned woman seems to accept this, dropping her hand into her lap and nodding her head. She wears a serious expression when next she speaks, her brows furrowed in thought. “I see, this must be quite serious then. Have you considered gelding the man?”

Why would you consider gelding the man? You suppose you will have to eat his flesh, all of his flesh, which means eventually you'll have to cut off his genitalia. You'd rather not think of that at the moment. “No, I haven't really. Why do you ask?”

(1/2 or 3)

Queen Silvae waves a hand and the tea, the snacks, and the table setting disappear only to be replaced a moment. A white cloth simply appears laid across the table, followed by a decanter of rich red wine and five cups, one for each of you. Come to think of it, you didn't see anyone actually eat any of the snacks that were set out, nor did anyone save Queen Silvae drink the tea. That you saw, at least.

The meal that appears in front of you on a plate is a stew composed primarily of sausages and potatoes from what you can tell. You're immediately wary of the sausages, if only because you have no way of knowing what's in them. There's also something that looks like sliced pork and some wild onions and carrots.

It smells delicious, and hunger tears through your gut like a knife. However, it's not the meal you find appetizing. Rather, you can't take your eyes off Lady Nubis. She's the weakest of the four women, you could easily consume her. Rip the flesh from her bones and feast on her essence.

You're distracted once again by Silvae's hand on your shoulder. “As for my previous suggestion of gelding the man, it's a common punishment here. Should a satyr overstep his bounds with a nymph, for instance, we cut off his manhood. It keeps order.”

Dame Ursula's rumbling voice rings out through the rotunda as she reaches for the decanter of wine. “Do you work solely for your court, or are you open to working for others as well? My father may have a task for you.”

Pick Two
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Your 'court' would be terribly upset if you started doing freelance work...
>Write-in

>Sample the wine and the food, in the hopes that a meal abates your desire to eat Nubis.
>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
>Who fight it? Unhinge your jaw and attack the dirty slut.
>Write-in

>>40459645
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.

>>40459645
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Sample the wine and the food, in the hopes that a meal abates your desire to eat Nubis.

>>40459645
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Sample the wine and the food, in the hopes that a meal abates your desire to eat Nubis.
Wait until we see someone else start eating first, however. Other than Silvae.

>>40459645
>Tell Gluttony to drop the deliquent act like a bad teenager and get in line, you're the boss here.
>Tell her it isn't entirely out of the picture, but you would need to consider it before saying anything specific.
>No food or drink.

>>40459645
>>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
And restating, DON'T EAT THE FOOD
This is like basic shit, they are fae, this is how they fuck you!

>>40459645
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
Emphasis on think
>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
DON ENDURES

>>40459645
>>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
We made Greed our bitch, we can refrain from making Nubis our bitch.
>In b4 she's into vore

>>40459645
>I am willing to collect any debt that needs collecting.
>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
Gluttony fuck off.

>>40459658
>>40459645
Alright, I'll change and delete my vote to:
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Tell Gluttony to shove it.

>>40459727
>We made Greed our bitch
I assume you mean Gluttony

Man I hope we pass this will save. Cuz if we don't we are going to vore the shit out of Nubis.

>>40459645
>You suppose you would think about working for her father.
>Try to suffer through, you're not so weak willed that you can't ignore an empty stomach.
Fey food don't eat it. Remember the rules when you meet fae.

>>40459768
Nah, if we fail, just eat some food.
>>40459645
Can I vote for this? IF we can't ignore, eat food instead of Nubis.

>>40459768
I hope we can pass it off as an upfront payment for working for the father. Besides she insulted the queens guest, how dare she

So we kicking gluttony in his dick after this?

>>40459702
>>40459706
>Sample the wine and food.

>>40459742
>>40459728
>>40459727
>>40459720
>>40459717
>>40459709
>>40459706
>>40459702
>>40459694
>>40459790
>You'll consider working for her father, no promises.

>>40459742
>>40459728
>>40459727
>>40459720
>>40459717
>>40459709
>>40459694
>>40459790
>Fuck off, Gluts.

ROOOOOOOLL 3d10+4 (+2 from skills, +2 from binds) vs DC 13 (Base 12, +2 from spirit binds working against you) to not eat anything.

>>40459795
Man if we fail I don't think we get to choice what we eat.

Rolled 8, 3, 5 + 4 = 20 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833

Rolled 5, 7, 1 + 4 = 17 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833
dc 14 or 13?

Rolled 7, 3, 8 + 4 = 22 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833

>>40459833

Rolled 6, 6, 7 + 4 = 23 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833

>>40459833
>12+2=13
How much have you had to drink?

Rolled 4, 5, 6 + 4 = 19 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833
>Base 13
Pfhhhh

Rolled 2, 7, 10 + 4 = 23 (3d10 + 4)

>>40459833

>>40459833
I fucked that up, should've been DC 14. Regardless, you pass with flying colors.

>>40459844
>>40459847
>>40459858
>20, 17, 22 vs DC 14
>Success!
Writin'

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>>40459625
>you'll have to cut off his genitalia. You'd rather not think of that at the moment.

We need to talk to Nito about this
Hopefully before we become literal cockmongler

>>40460010
>not wanting to gobble his cock
What are you, gay?

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>>40460048
No you might b though

>>40460010
Make a stew from the balls, fry the dick.
It's fine, people eat animal genitalia all the time.
If you must be so disgusted by thi, Don can just unhinge his jew and let Gluttony do the rest.

>>40460010
We can cook the flesh, so just mince it up and turn it into unrecognizable flesh.

>Eating babies is the fast food of cannibalistic sacrifice.
-Soma_QM

>>40460187
What about abortions? Just make a blood milkshake

>>40460247
Don't count, have to be somethig like a live birth.
Premature births, c-sections from third trimester on, braindead people, severely disabled all count, but stillborns or not-yet-born-but-already-deads don't.

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Good lord. The IRC is talking about making rape baby factory dungeons. Kill me now.

>>40460514
Get out normie, we riding the cannibal train now

>>40460514
Man don't go to IRC if your a bitch

>>40460514
Normal , mentally healthy people don't use IRC

>>40460514
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>40460514
...What's the channel you're using on the IRC? I wanna see this now.

>>40460839
Rizon@ #banisheddiscussion

Captcha asked me to click on food. I almost clicked on a guy getting a massage. God save my soul.

You manage to tamp down the urge to eat either Nubis or the food on your plate by simply focusing. You get the sense that Gluttony rages impotently in the back of your head, but you ignore him. He's powerless now. He's enslaved to your will. You just need to assert your dominance over the little bastard.

Leaning back in your chair, and keeping your hands folded firmly in your lap, you consider Ursula's offer. “I would be interested in working for your father, depending on the offer. My court would be quite irate with me if I delayed their greater machinations doing freelance work and I'll be leaving the area in two days time.”

Ursula nods her massive head. “I see, that is an issue then. I do not believe that either I or my father have a task you could accomplish in a day's time. I will keep you in mind, should you ever wander through our stretch of the forest, and recommend you to my father. He will be eager to meet you once you have returned, I do not doubt.”

Your curiosity gets the better of you. “Just where is your stretch of the forest? I have to admit I haven't explored much of the woods yet.”

Ursula grunts. “Cave, on the south end of the wood. Go there when the sky is darkest and the world sleeping. Dine there, on the flesh of an animal. When dawn breaks my father will meet with you.”

You make not to remember that. Certainly doesn't sound like the most pleasant way you can think of to spend your evenings but doing a task for a spirit is sure to have its own rewards. After all, they seem to delight in the process of deal making as a whole.
(1/2)

Unbidden Queen Paludis speaks up. “My realm encompasses the bogs and mires which dot the coast east of here. Should you ever wish to meet with me away from the clutches of this horned bitch and her cronies do drop by.”

Lady Nubis rest her hand on top of yours where it rest on your lap, leaning her body towards you. “I live in the sky, you can't escape me. I'll be keeping an eye on you.” She states, her tone lethargic. You can't help but feel immensely uncomfortable.

Queen Silvae clears her throat to draw everyone attention. “Yes well, while our guest is no doubt a fascination I believe we did come here for a luncheon, did we not?” She's met with a round of nodding heads. “Good, then shall we eat?” Yet again, a round of nodding heads.

Silvae's head rips itself in half, a long worm-like creature sliding out of her throat and twisting itself towards the soup on her plate. It submerges its head, attacking the chunks of meat floating within with surprising ferocity. Nubis dips her fingers into the bowl, and the liquid within slowly turns to a sort of fog which she then drinks in. Queen Paludis just exudes an aura of rot and decay, her bowl as well as the contents in it seeming to slowly break up into their composite pieces. Only Dame Ursala eats in a manner resembling normalcy. She reaches in to pluck out a chunk of meat with her clawed fingers and tosses it into her jaws, snapping it up and swallowing it whole.

>This is getting too weird for you. Politely excuse yourself, you really ought to be getting home.
>Run the fuck away, holy shit.
>Well if everyone's eating the food how bad could it really be?
>Write-in

>>40461039
>Well if everyone's eating the food how bad could it really be?

>>40461039
now the question is which is worse, offending our host by not eating, or eating and dealing with whatever she wants in turn

>>40461039
>>This is getting too weird for you. Politely excuse yourself, you really ought to be getting home.
Contacts acquired. Now lets scram.

>>40461039
>>Well if everyone's eating the food how bad could it really be?

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>>40461039
>Silvae's head rips itself in half, a long worm-like creature sliding out of her throat and twisting itself towards the soup on her plate. It submerges its head, attacking the chunks of meat floating within with surprising ferocity. Nubis dips her fingers into the bowl, and the liquid within slowly turns to a sort of fog which she then drinks in. Queen Paludis just exudes an aura of rot and decay, her bowl as well as the contents in it seeming to slowly break up into their composite pieces. Only Dame Ursala eats in a manner resembling normalcy. She reaches in to pluck out a chunk of meat with her clawed fingers and tosses it into her jaws, snapping it up and swallowing it whole.
>Don's face when

>"Holy shit."
>This is getting too weird for you. Politely excuse yourself, you really ought to be getting home.

>>40461039
>>This is getting too weird for you. Politely excuse yourself, you really ought to be getting home.
Ah sorry, I'm married. Gotta get back to the wife now.

>>40461039
>>Well if everyone's eating the food how bad could it really be?
Unhinge jaw and eat the bowl

>>40461039
>Wait patiently until they finish.
>If asked, apologize, but we have a previous promise of dinner tonight, don't want to lose our apetite.
>Wait until they finish, then politely excuse ourselves, we should probably be getting back home.

>>40461039
this: >>40461173

>>40461173
This, a milltion times this

>>40461173
Sure

>>40461039
>Well if everyone's eating the food how bad could it really be?

>>40461039
put on the mask

>>40461154
>>40461122
>>40461090
>>40461305
>Ehh, might as well eat if everyone's doing it.

>>40461099
>>40461132
>>40461152
>This isn't what you signed up for.

>>40461212
>>40461173
>>40461286
>>40461293
>Wait until they finish, then excuse yourself.

Calling it.

VOTE
>1
To eat the food.

VOTE
>2
To politely wait for them to finish and then excuse yourself.

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
1

>>40461333
2

>>40461039
>Write-in

Just pour the soup on your head. Be the most interesting human they've ever met.

>>40461173
This

>>40461333
1

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
2

>>40461333
1

>>40461333
2

>>40461433
Last valid vote.

>>40461433
>>40461422
>>40461391
>Eat the food.

>>40461354
>>40461362
>>40461366
>>40461380
>>40461395
>>40461426
>>40461427
>Wait politely, then excuse yourself.

Writin'

>>40461333
2

>>40461132
Man I miss BQ.

>>40461558
Damnit..that was supposed to be spoilered.

>>40461580
YOU FUCKED UP

>>40461580
>>40461593
NOW YOU LIVE WITH THE SHAME. OF FUCKING UP.

>>40461884
THE SHAME

>>40461930
He's a cool dude, really. Not his fault his parents have an awful naming sense.

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This is decidedly not where you'd thought this evening was going. You sit with your hands folded in your lap, watching the four of them eat. Urusla you understand, you're familiar with. She doesn't use what you'd call polite table manners, but at least the top of her head isn't dangling behind her while a giant worm monster squirms its way out of her throat.

Compared to Queen Silvae, the other spirits are tame. Sure, Queen Paludis is unsettling in the way she eats, but she just rots her food away. It's honestly not that bad. Lady Nubis is downright dainty in the way she dissolves her food into some sort of gas.

You sit uncomfortably for a time. Lady Nubis is the first to finish eating and she clears her throat daintily. She's followed soon after by Queen Paludis. Silvae spends quite some time with her face buried in her bowl, you count four rows of teeth gnashing away at its contents. Eventually she finishes, and the body of the worm turns towards you. The head hovers at your eye level, allowing you a hellish view of its teeth.

Much to your surprise it starts to speak, a pair of plump limps revealing themselves at the back of the worm-creature's throat. Its voice is refined and delicate, just like the voice of Silvae. “Are you not hungry, Mister Murphy?” This inner-mouth ask. If you hadn't already thrown up your breakfast this morning you'd be struggling to keep it down.

Trying to downplay your disgust, you muster every ounce of willpower to respond politely. “I'm afraid I've got dinner plans and I'm trying to save my appetite for later. Thank you, though. It smells wonderful and looks lovely.”

(1/3)

The worm-creature speaks again. “Very well, I recall you mentioning a wife. Be a dear then and pour me a glass of wine? I'm just the clumsiest thing after I've eaten.”

You're trying not to panic already so the last thing you want to do is piss her off. Nubis is currently holding the wine decanter, pouring herself a glass. Once she's finished she dips her fingers inside and passes the decanter to you. Carefully, you pour the rich red wine, which you note seems unusually thick for a wine, into a glass for Queen Silvae before setting the decanter down in front of you.

The worm cranes itself towards the glass, poisoning itself above. A proboscis slowly slides out from within the creature, touching upon the surface of the wine and sucking out the contents of the glass greedily. It's utterly disgusting. Ursula is the last to finish, she seems to take her time eating. As soon as she's finished licking her bowl clean you decide to make your excuses.

Standing stiffly you bow to the table. “If you'll be so kind, ladies. I really must be getting home to my wife.” Thank God, or Lucifer, or whoever you ought to thank your armor has a crotch plate. Despite yourself, Nubis' attentions had their intended effect. “I thank you for this wonderful luncheon, and hope to see you all again soon.”

The worm creatures slithers back into Queen Silvae's neck, receding inside of her. The top half of her head snaps back into place with a loud crack, the flesh knitting itself swiftly back together. “Please! I can't let you leave.” She pauses, and you start to feel sweat bead on your brow. “Not without first giving you a parting gift!”

(2/3)

The smile which splits her face from ear to ear does nothing to ease your worry. Nor does the dagger which appears in her hand. You still have your rifle, but it's slung across your back. You won't be able to get it before she can plunge the blade into your chest.

Fortunately she doesn't do that. She flips it in the air, catches it by the flat of the blade, and offers it to you handle first. You take it, hesitantly, and when you open your mouth to thank the woman you find yourself standing instead at the entrance to the trail into the forest. You're alone, and unharmed. Glancing at the dagger she gave you, you note that the blade is shaped vaguely like the beak of a crow.

Fishing your cell phone out of a pocket you check the time. It's just past one in the afternoon, which was the appointed time your wife was set to get home. Of course, if she's not already home she's going to be at least an hour late. She's never actually on time.

>Return home and change out of your body armor, stash your weapons.
>You never actually got to bind a new spirit. Look for something minor to enslave.
>You're starving, you need to feed quickly before Claire gets home.
>Write-in

>You're starving, you need to feed quickly before Claire gets home.

>>40462146
>get home, eat food, stash armor/weapons, commune with gluttony

>>40462146
>>Return home and change out of your body armor, stash your weapons.
>Kick Gluttony some more. Bitch needs to learn his fucking place.

>>40462146
>Return home and change out of your body armor, stash your weapons.

>>40462146
>Return home and change out of your body armor, stash your weapons.

>>40462146
>we took it
FUCK

>>40462146
>The smile which splits her face from ear to ear does nothing to ease your worry.
Is this because it's unnaturally wide(is it?), or because it's the "I'm going to eat your flesh off your bones, dear~" kind of smile?

>>40462228
Both.

>>40462146
>You're starving, you need to feed quickly before Claire gets home.

Shoot a deer or something.

>>40462233
God damn it, she seemed nice.

>>40462256
Hey, "I'm going to eat your flesh off your bones, dear~" smiles might entail something entirely different amongst fey.

>Head home, change, stash weapons.
After this post I'mma run out and get some food.

>>40462146
>>Write-in
Ask about the significance of the blade, if there is any, and thank her for the wonderful luncheon.
>>You're starving, you need to feed quickly before Claire gets home.

>>40462427
We've already left the party. No one else is around anymore.

>>40462268
Well thank God, Lucifer, Buddha, and the entire hindu pantheon for that crotch plate then.

>>40462095
I just like to thank god for giving me an over active imagination I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up soon

So, is this that fabled crow companion, a fuck-you-over-sideways "gift", or a real gift that nonetheless has a a catch, like letting her monitor us?

>>40462552
Crows are usually assholes

>>40462576
They are smart assholes though

>>40462552
I say we meditate on the crow dagger and see what we can learn.

DAMNIT AGAIN!!

>>40462576
Crow very very smart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JY8-gP3Sw_8

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>>40462587
Great just what we need around here. Another smart ass

>>40462576
Corvids are the broest of bros.

>>40462884
If you keep them fed they are

>>40462647
Bet he's a crow.

Rolled 4, 8, 10 = 22 (3d10)

test

Rolled 9, 6, 3 = 18 (3d10)

>>40463466
We Rollin now?

>>40463529
Nah, don't push us towards bump limit, just had trouble rolling in another thread.

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>>40462884
They can be.

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That was, well, an experience to say the least. You got molested, you might have secured some work on the side, and you nearly shit your pants. Overall, you'd call it a good lunch. The only downside is that you didn't actually get to eat anything, and your stomach is tying itself into a tighter and tighter not, the hunger harder and harder to ignore.

You eye the forest, some part of you urging you forward. Urging you to track down some poor unsuspecting spirit and rip it limb from limb for your own enjoyment. You tamp that part of your mind down and turn sharply on your heels, marching towards home. It's not a long walk, but it seems to stretch on for an eternity. The hunger makes you intensely aware of each passing second.

Eventually you reach your stately two story home, your cars parked out front. It doesn't look like Claire's back yet. You duck through your front door and shut it behind you, the sound of Sally startling awake on her bed in the den reaching you in the foyer. She barks once, the noise echoing through the largely empty house, and you promptly shush her. “It's just me, Sally. No worries.”

You can hear her growling as she comes around the corner but she relaxes immediately at the sight of you, dashing down the hall with impressive speed to bump her head into your leg. You scratch behind her ears briefly before making your way up the stairs, Sally following at your heels.

Once you reach your bedroom you start the process of removing your armor. It takes a while, you have to undo all sorts of straps in order to loosen the armor, but eventually you're able to slide it up over your head and slip your arms you. You store it in your closet, which is nearly inaccessible due to all the shit you have crammed in there, and then strip off your khakis and button down and changing instead into a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt.
(1/3 or 4)

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Finally comfortable you make your way down stairs and into the kitchen. Opening your fridge, nothing seems particularly appealing. You're starving, but you don't want a sandwich, cereal sounds disgusting, you're not in the mood for an omelet, the thought of red meat makes you nauseous. Just everything you so much as glance at becomes suddenly unappetizing. You want to eat something that's still kicking.

Ignoring your desire you reach inside the fridge and pull out everything you'd need to make a sandwich. You end up stacking it high with three types of meat and two types of cheeses, then you toast it on your stove top.

You devour the sandwich in a handful of bites. It sits in your stomach like a weight, but at least you're not as hungry as you were before. You'll live, for now. Kicking back on the couch you start to wonder what you ought to do until Claire gets home, but just as you're about to flip on the TV Sally starts barking and you hear a key sliding noisily into the lock.

Pushing yourself to your feet you jog over to the doorway where Sally is currently busy wagging her tail with a furious passion while Claire crouches in front of her, scratching behind Sally's ears while inspecting the bandages around her chest. When she sees you she stands, quickly closing the distance between you to wrap you up in a tight hug.

Just to have her in your arms again is a wonderful feeling, a sense that all is right with the world again. Her smell, her weight, the feel of her skin, it all just feels right. God, you missed this. Unfortunately your tender moment is ruined by the modulated sound of her father's voice. “Sorry to interrupt you kids.”

(2/3)

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He walks through the door, hands shoved into his fur lined coat. Even now, well into his eighties, he's an imposing man. He stands tall and straight, just an inch shorter than you are. His face is lined with wrinkles and his head is almost completely bald save for some fuzz on the side, but what really draws your eye is his prosthetic. He lost his jaw and most of his throat to a car bomb, the attack was perpetrated by a handful of anti-AI activist. Since his father's invention indirectly led to the creation of the AGI, they've always been targeted.

The two of you have always gotten along fairly well, he respects that you served in the military though is critical of the fact that your Naval career never amounted to much. Generally he's fairly laid back, but you get the sense he's not particularly pleased with you at the moment.

He turns his attention to Claire after a moment. “Would you excuse us dear? I'd like to have a talk with Don.”

Claire waves him off. “Really, Dad. You don't need to worry about it. I was just acting irrationally, I was emotional.”

It's hard to pick up on tone with Claire's father, the modulator that allows him to speak really screws up his voice. It's an old model, he could've gotten it replaced decades ago, but he never did. Still, you think you detect an edge to his voice. “It's a conversation I've got to have regardless.”

>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.
>Try to talk your way out of this. There are things you wanted to do today besides get lectured by your wife's father.
>Write-in

>>40463819
>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>>Try to talk your way out of this. There are things you wanted to do today besides get lectured by your wife's father.

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.
Fucking get it over with

>>40463819
>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.
But listen tho don't zone out like a cock

>>40463819
>>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

>>40463819
>Take your talking to like a champ and move on, you'll probably end up doing the same thing to your daughter's husband, if you ever have a daughter that is.

Foreplay is going to be really awkward and uncomfortable with Gluttony inside us

>>40463908
>>40463894
>>40463891
>>40463887
>>40463868
>>40463867
>>40463860
>>40463855
>>40463851
>>40463845
>Don't fight it, just let it happen.

>>40463885
>You're not my real dad!

>>40463919
That's why we tell him to shut up tonight or he gets no dessert for a month.

>>40463965
Or he could force us to eat Claire and be happy now.

>>40463919
So...no edible panties for her then?

>>40463984
He's bound to our will, there should be some duties like having him follow direct expicit orders.

>>40463919
>"C'mon man just take a lil bite. I guarantee you'll love it"

>>40464018
Actually, I think that would count toward appeasing both of them.

>All this talk of cannibalistic penis consumption is making me hungry.
-Soma_QM

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>>40464223
Hear that boys? Soma is cockhungry. Gotta watch out for your willies. Else the Druid is gonna catch 'em. Gonna fry 'em. Gonna nobble-gobble all those cute little tackles.

>>40464259
>little
maybe yours, mine is xbox huge

>>40464332
More for the eattin

>>40464332
All dicks are tiny in the face of Soma's cockhungry, gaping chasm. He requires a feasts of phalli to sate his famishment.

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>>40464389
Yup sounds like Soma

Claire turns to face her father, one arm slid around your waist. “Really it's fine.” She assures her father. “We've talked it over. I would've appreciated a little advance warning but I shouldn't have flipped out like I did.”

You put a hand on hers and slip out of her grip reluctantly. “It's fine, honey. I'd probably do the same thing if our daughter came home distressed because of something her husband did, regardless of the circumstance.”

Claire huffs, blowing a lock of hair out of her eyes. After a moment she seems to decide it's not worth it. “Fine, I'll get my stuff out of the car and take it up to our room.” Turning to her father she wags a scolding finger at the old man. “Don't take too long! He's my husband, I don't like other people nagging him. It's my job.”

She doesn't even really nag you, too much. Unless it's to take out the trash or put away the clean clothes or other such domestic task. Come to think of it you might look into hiring a maid, since now you'll both be working. You can worry about it later.

Claire heads for her father's car, you spot two security guards standing outside in black suits and sunglasses. Meanwhile, you invite her father into your den. You'll have some modicum of privacy there, and the two of you can sit down. You take a seat on the couch, where as her father eases into a leather armchair you've had since your first college apartment.

The two of you simply sit for a time, neither of you saying a word. Sally comes to curl up by your feet. Eventually his robotic breaks the silence. “I know why you did whatcha did. I hate feeling useless. Why I still work, I'm eighty seven years old and I'm still in the office every day. I can't stand being idle.”

(1/3)

He leans forward, the leather creaking as he does so. “That's no excuse to go runnin' off doing what you wish, without consulting your wife. I know my daughter isn't always the most rational woman in the world. She can be a spoiled brat sometimes, but God damn it son you married her. You agreed to put up with her until one of you kicks the bucket.”

He eases himself back again, a crackle of static accompanying his sigh. “Take it from someone who's been married forty six years longer than you have, Don. The trick to a happy marriage is just talking to one another. Doesn't matter if you're yellin' and screamin' or havin' a polite discussion over tea-” Images flash through your thoughts of a Claire's head ripping in half, and a twisted monstrosity of a worm sliding out of her throat. You try to ignore them. “-just so long as you're bein' honest with one another.”

He pushes himself to his feet. “I've said my piece, I won't hold you too long.” He starts towards the foyer, but stops in mid-stride and turns to you once more. “One more thing, actually. My wife and I would like some grandbabies before one of us dies. Put some lead in your pencil, Son. Hell after seven years of marriage I already had three of the little bastards.”

You blow out a relieved sigh, this was not nearly so trying as you were expecting it to be. “If all goes well you won't have to wait too much longer, Arthur.”

He nods, and you escort him to the door. Claire is waiting by the door when you get there, and she stands up on the tips of her toes to give her father a kiss on the cheek. You shake the old man's hand before he wanders out the door towards his car.

(2/3)

Almost as soon as the door's closed Claire reaches up to put her arms around your neck, pulling you down to her level so she can press her lips against yours. Her tongue meets yours, the hunger twisting in your gut at the contact. However, it's a different sort of hunger this time. You're compelled to pin your wife against the door and take her right there in the foyer, to make up for lost time, to test the limits of your new found stamina.

Instead she breaks the contact, and the urge subsides. “I missed you, Donny. I'm sorry for acting like such a bitch.” She glances towards the empty stand that once held a vase, now shattered. “I can't believe I got so angry over something so stupid.” She mumbles, more to herself you think. You've never known Claire to be the self-loathing sort, you wonder if she's just guilty or if something's up.

>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.
>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.
>You're honestly still sort of mad at her. That wasn't cool, your mom gave you that vase.
>Write-in

>>40465321
>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.

>>40465321
>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.
>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.
>>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.
>>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>>Apology accepted, you admittedly should've consulted with her. Take her upstairs to make up for lost time.
and then
>>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
>>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.

>>40465321
Tell Gluttony to put a sock in it right now, if he doesn't interfere we'll go out and hunt down 2 spirits tomorrow.

>>40465346
>>40465359
>>40465395
>>40465402
>>40465417
>Ey bby benis 21cm :DD

>>40465426
>>40465417
>>40465402
>>40465395
>>40465381
>>40465375
>>40465359
>>40465345
>Talk about your feelings, like some sorta pussy.

You'll do one and then the other. Writin'

>>40465477
yTell Gluttony to put a sock in it right now, if he doesn't interfere we'll go out and hunt down 2 spirits tomorrow.

>>40465461
Gluttony isn't trying to get us to eat her, anon. He wants us to fuck the shit out of her. Which isn't a bad thing.

>>40465491
We don't have to be rushed by him.
If we want to take it slow at first, then we will, and he will just have to deal with it.

>>40465321
>Ask her how she's been feeling lately, you remember she was throwing up yesterday morning.
>You're honestly still sort of mad at her. That wasn't cool, your mom gave you that vase.

>>40465528
>not jackhammering her right from the get go
What kind of man are you?

>>40465569
>not making her beg for it
>not making her cum just from your fingers at first

>>40465569
Anon you just don't rip The band aid straight off you goof

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>>40465606
I should never have answered that question.

>>40465614
That's funny because I'm the same guy who asked it

Aww don't worry Soma we've all done terrible shit in our lives take solace in that at least

>>40465603
>not pounding her for hours on end with our inhuman stamina until shes nothing more than a gibbering mess unable to think or speak coherently
Just like my chinese cartoons!

>>40465614
Hey man, at least it turned out okay, and we know we can ask you for advicce on the topic!
>>40465712
>not doing that after easing her into it at first
Come anon, have some faith.
We should stop before she faints though, I want them post-coitus cudles and pillowtalk

Hey guys what's that about THE BANDAID that you're talking about?

>>40465856
When Soma was about to lose his virginity he asked a friend for advice.
His friend's advice was "it's like a bandaid, just get it over with quick"
Soma followed that advice. His girlfriend wasn't happy.

>>40465856
Don't worry about it, anon-kun.

>>40465614
Yo, you don't have to write the smut right now, you can just pastebin it.
Because this is a special occasion, make it the best it can be.

>>40466123
The most Soma does is softcore porn that would get picked up by some obscure channel

>>40466266
Anon, you do realizes he has stated that he started his writing career by writing smut, right?

>>40465614
I'm not gunna lie. I laughed way to hard at that. Now I have more reason to love you Soma.

>>40466286
I am going to need some sources for verification there, anon.

>>40466345
I'd verify your source, fruitboy.

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You reach down to give her well toned ass a playful squeeze, she ups the ante. Leaning back, one of her hands reaches between the two of you to run a finger along the length of your erection. “Really, Donny.” The contact is cut off, her hand slapping you lightly on the abdomen. The urge to bend her over against the wall is damn near overpowering. “My father's just barely out the door and you're already hard.”

You tilt her head up gently, savoring the taste of her as your lips meet again. The contact is tragically short, but you're not going to pass on the opportunity to tease your wife. “Don't lie. You know you love it.”

She steps away, taking you by the hand and leading you towards the stairs. “Who ever said that I didn't? These have been the most sexually frustrating three days of my life, you'd better have plenty saved up for me.”

You find yourself pulled into the bedroom, where Claire's already taken the liberty of unmaking the bed. She lets her hand drop, turning on her heels to face you. Her sweatshirt comes off, granting you full view of her flat stomach and generous breast. Next come the shorts. She pulls on an errant string, the gym shorts she stole from you falling to the floor. Biting her lip, she runs her fingers through the neatly trimmed crop of hair that crowns her womanhood, fingers brushing against the nub of her clit.

Six hours later you're both laying in bed, covered in sweat. She's curled up comfortably against your side, a far off look in her eyes. You're not even sure how many times the two of you went at it. Eight? Nine? Honestly you couldn't bother to keep track after a while. Even as a horny fourteen year old, you still had to stop for breaks in between rounds. That doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Her voice, filtered through a satisfied haze, drifts through the room. “Fuck.” You're inclined to agree with that sentiment. After a few seconds pause she finishes her thought. “That was better than our honeymoon.”

(1/2)

You're fairly content to simply enjoy your afterglow for now. You're not hungry anymore, thankfully. You're not sure why sex resolved that issue for you. Unfortunately there is a question which has been bothering you since long before Claire got down on her knees to attend to you. You figure now is probably the best time to ask, before the both of you fall asleep. “How have you been feeling lately? I remember you said something about throwing up in the mornings.”

She nods, her head still pressed against your chest. “Yeah, it's real bad. It passes after a while but I can barely keep anything down for a solid three hours after I wake up. It wasn't as bad this morning, but I didn't even wake up until noon.” She cranes her head to look up at you. “Do you think I might be pregnant?”

>EEEEEND THREEEAAAD

>>40466417
>>40466435
Pastebin of those 6 hours when?
Pastebin of the honeymoon night, maybe?

Well, Arthur got his wish.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Life%20Quest
Archive here.
Banished Quest tomorrow.

>>40466465
Maybe.
Maybe not.
It's a ~mystery~

>Don is now the Nympho

MY HOW QUICKLY THE TIDE TURNS

>>40466484
So when's the next Life Quest gonna be, champ?

>>40466435
Thanks for running dude, when do you think you'll do it again?

Also, is it true you got your start writing lewd stuff? Just curious as to whether we can expect a pastebin.

>>40466508
If I can, I'd like to run one of either LQ or CNQ every weekend.
We'll see how steadily I hold to that schedule.

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>>40466518
>LQ every weekend

>>40466516
I probably won't do a pastebin of the smut scene, since I don't want people pursuing smut over plot.

I will say, the chance is greater than zero.

>>40466518
Fuck yeah. Even if you miss a weekend or two, it sure as hell beats "Sometime in the next 6 months".

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>>40466543
So between 15 and 25%?

>>40466561
It'll vary between 20% and 50% based almost entirely on how much alcohol I have in my system.

>>40466561
I hate to tell you, but 10^-100 is also greater than zero, anon.

>>40466578
Better drink some more, then.

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>>40466578
>Soma drunken smut

Why does this terrify me?

>>40466578
Oh come on, we both know that's a lie.

>>40466578
If we mail order a case of whiskey to your house, will that increase those odds?

>>40466516
Oh, and to your other question. Yeah I got my start doing smut. When I was twelve years old, and fucking terrible as a writer. I haven't really truly written smut in about.. three-ish years now though.

>>40466618
>implying the 50% chance isn't when he's completely sober
Here's the catch: he's never sober

>>40466627
Does that mean that you're fifteen now. Are you a qt shota fuccboi?

>>40466663
It means he was writing smut for 4 to 5 years

>>40466663
/as/ is a terrible fetish