File: 1.png (141 KB, 900x720)

141 KB PNG

“Injecting painkillers,” says your armguard. There’s a prick in your right arm. The pain across your body dwindles to a level under complete agony.

Despite your broken arm, you feel ready to end this fight. In fact, you should think of a one-liner.

>>41483258
>Make warpaint out of your blood, then attack.

File: 2.png (116 KB, 900x720)

116 KB PNG

>>41483788
That's highly unsanitary!

“Guilty or innocent?” asks Slick.
“What?”
“Cause when I’m done with you, you’re gonna wish you picked guilty. By the way, babe, that wasn’t my only summon.”
“Okay,” you say, “that is definitely against the rules.”
“Interns!”

File: 3.png (142 KB, 900x720)

142 KB PNG

Two people in business suits rush to protect their employer. One wields a knife, the other uses a crossbow.

“Twins. That means double danger, baby!” Slick says. “Case closed, legs open, ladies!”

> Ask for their names
> Throw a taunt
> ???

>>41483230
>вeликих вoйнoв
It should be вeликиe вoйны or a word show added before it to be correct.

>>41483986
I'll make sure to edit it. Thanks, I appreciate it!

>>41483936
>Ask if he's even paying them

File: 4.png (118 KB, 900x720)

118 KB PNG

>>41484094
>Ask if he's even paying them

"I... it's not easy finding a job in this economy!" says the brother.

He charges at you while his sister loads the crossbow.

>>41484374
Dodge him and tackle the sister.

>>41484374
Grab his arm.

File: 5.png (133 KB, 900x720)

133 KB PNG

>>41484508
> Grab his arm.

You make an effort not to crush his bones when you grab his arm.

"... hey, um, we can work something out, right?" he asks. "I'm not sure I even want this job anymore."

>>41484824
Throw him at his sister before we get shot

>>41484824
I'm sure we can work something out, but first we make sure his sister doesn't try to shoot us.
So unfortunately we're going to have to use him as a shield, and a weapon.

File: 6.png (151 KB, 900x720)

151 KB PNG

>>41485005
>>41484843
You position yourself behind the brother, waiting any second for a crossbow bolt. You hope the bolts are nonlethal.

“Hey Mr. Bauer, how do I shoot your crossbow?” says the sister.
“I told you to call me Slick! Also, I don’t know," says Slick.

Now that you look at them, the twins don’t really seem like they know what they’re doing.

File: 7.png (147 KB, 900x720)

147 KB PNG

"What?" She jostles with the crossbow.

It fires off into the audience. There’s a faint scream under the thunderous cheers of the audience.

>>41485181
Fuck yes, they are incompetent interns. Ignore them and rek slick.

File: 8.png (114 KB, 900x720)

114 KB PNG

She drops the crossbow and puts her hands up.

She clears her throat. "I... uh, sorry. I think we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Kaguya Schmidt, daughter of the lord of Enenra Tech corporation. Pleasure to meet you."

>>41485216
"So is it cool if I beat up Slick?" you ask.

"I'd be shocked if you didn't."

>>41485305
Release her brother, and approach Slick in an intimidating fashion.

File: 9.png (122 KB, 900x720)

122 KB PNG

>>41485374
You march forward.

“Now, let’s not do anything rash,” say Slick. “You do know that I’m a lawyer, right?”

“Are you threatening to sue me?”

“No! God, no. Shit, don't kill me. I have family. You do too, right?”

“In America.”

He looks puzzled. “America? What are you talking about?”

> Punch in the face
> ???

>>41485655
> Punch in the gut

File: 10.png (163 KB, 900x720)

163 KB PNG

>>41485820
You wind up your punch, aiming for the gut.

File: 11.png (194 KB, 900x720)

194 KB PNG

You hit.

"SHIT!"

He crumples to the ground, panting heavily. The bell rings in your favor.

File: 12.png (80 KB, 900x720)

80 KB PNG

“Is this what Slick gets for helping orphans?” he mumbles.

“Wait, what were you going to do with the winnings?” you ask.

“Donate it to my one client, the Orphanage.”

“Goddamn it, why didn’t you say anything sooner? Just who do you think you are?”

“I’m Slick. Defender of those in need across every slum in this damned city. And investigator of the things other lawyers are bribed to keep secret. What are you going to do with the money, Unseen? I hope it's for a cause as noble.”

> What secrets?
> Answer

>>41486392
>What secrets?

>>41486392
Definitely not donate it to the orphanage. Those orphans are assholes!

File: 13.png (83 KB, 900x720)

83 KB PNG

>>41486950
> Definitely not donate it to the orphanage. Those orphans are assholes!

Some of the orphans were definitely brats, but maybe there's a few cool ones. The robot mechanic seemed mentally stable enough.

>>41486840
>What secrets?

“The Slick isn’t too sure. All that’s known is that someone’s paying off everyone who investigates those orphanages that Mr. Bronx owns. All except for me and my two… well, now it’s just me. This could be the biggest case of the century.”

> Question his suspicion
> Agree with his paranoia

>>41487097
> Agree with his paranoia

>>41487097
Oh, I missed this starting.
> Question his suspicion
I mean, it's Slick. We should ask him to show us this orphanage as insurance.

>>41487097
> Agree with his paranoia
Yes, there's definitely something suspicious going on there.

>>41487097
> Agree with his paranoia
Woo!
Minion number 2!

File: 14.png (78 KB, 900x720)

78 KB PNG

>>41487207
"I mean, that fact that it's called Mr. Bronx's Orphan Party is a bit suspicious. Can you take me to one of Mr. Bronx's orphanages?" you ask.

"It's not that easy, Unseen. All of the locations are locked down tight unless you're a member of the Orphan Patrol."

"Orphan Patrol? What."

"Yeah, even the Slick wouldn't make that up."

>>41487268
>>41487238
>>41487191
"I guess you're right. But only a little."

"Yeah, shame I don't have a team anymore. Unless... were you looking for a nine to five job, Unseen? How about it? I'll even hire that apple friend of yours, Fuckface."

"His name's Applehead."

"RIght, Fuckface."

> Accept Slick's offer
> Accept Slick's offer on basis that he isn't team leader
> Refuse Slick's offer

>>41487505
> Accept Slick's offer on basis that he isn't team leader
It doesn't sound too bad, assuming that he plans to actually pay us, but he isn't a very respectful person and wouldn't make a good leader.

Also, we need the money to cure Applehead, can't forget about that.

>>41487505
> Accept Slick's offer on basis that he isn't team leader

>>41487505
> Accept Slick's offer on basis that he isn't team leader
Slick, you're fired!

>>41487505
Wait, what specifically is he offering? Is he hiring us to fight in the arena for him, or...?

>>41487640
He's hiring us to help the orphans.

File: 15.png (127 KB, 900x720)

127 KB PNG

>>41487568
>>41487593
>>41487612
It does sound like a worthy quest for a aspiring hero, doesn't it?

"Okay, Slick. As long as you're not team leader," you say.

You shake hands.

"AHAHA, the Slick is back in town, baby! First order of business, let's fix up your hair. Bad style, my friend."

"You did this. The hair thing."

He continues smiling.

"You know, when you hired someone to murder me and -"

"A story for another time."

>>41488020
I'm starting to slightly regret this.

Now we have to figure out how to repair the hat.

File: 16.png (172 KB, 900x720)

172 KB PNG

You are an officer of the Orphan Patrol, a security branch of Mr. Bronx’s Orphan Party.

You are on a quest to find an orphan that has escaped from the mines - you mean, local orphanage.

You have decided that the best place to start looking was a bar. To blend in, you started drinking. All for the mission, of course.

The bartender is available for you to order more drinks - you mean, ask for more information.

You partner is out investigating some dark alleyway around back. His name was… what was his name? In fact, you can't even remember what bar this is.

>Name partner
>Ask bartender for more drinks
>Ask bartender name of bar
>Ask bartender about escaping orphans

>>41488141
I almost forgot.
The hat must live again.

>>41488243
...that was fast.
Where is our hat?
>Ask bartender name of bar
>And also directions to nearest hat-craftsman.

>>41488243
>Ask bartender for more drinks

>>41488243
>Ask bartender name of bar

>>41488243
>Ask bartender for more drinks
GLUG GLUG GLUG

File: 17.png (196 KB, 900x720)

196 KB PNG

>>41488350
>>41488321
“Greetings, citizen. Orphan Patrol," you begin, you suave motherfucker.

“You’ve already said that twice,” she says in a light German accent.

“Where are we on this fine Neu-Moskau night?” She's totally into you.

“The Busy Beehive. Can I help you with anything else?”

You're not sure why, maybe because you're such a stud, you ask her about any nearby hat-craftsmen. God knows why, considering you don't own any hats or know anyone who wears a hat.

"Sure, there's a woman in the Gnezdo called Natasha. Your kind might not be welcome though; it is a Russian slum."

>>41488408
>>41488344
"How about another round for me and my partner, when he gets back."

"Listen, friend, I'm not sure you should be drinking anymore."

>Insist on drinks
>Capture her heart
>Ask about escaped orphans

>>41488632
>Capture her heart
It's the least we can do.

>>41488632
>>Capture her heart
In your mug, of course.

>>41488632
>Insist on drinks

>>41488632
>Capture her heart

File: 18.png (172 KB, 900x720)

172 KB PNG

>>41488810
>>41488740
>>41488658
"Babe, are you an orphan, because of your face, I'm a fan," you slur out.

"Man, it's two hours past closing time. Can you please just leave? Also, I'm pretty sure your partner is coughing his guts out in the back."

"Well, anything for a lady."

You stumble off your seat and shambled out the door. You head to check on your partner, whose name is...

>?

>>41488916
Hermann.
He's continental.

>>41488916
Stanischlavikovanov.

File: 19.png (208 KB, 900x720)

208 KB PNG

>>41488990
You find Hermann, your continental friend, puking behind a dumpster. How unbecoming of an Orphan Patrol officer.

Germans usually aren't allowed in any position in the Colonial Administration, but you pulled some strings for Hermann. He's as good as any Russian or American could be in your opinion.

>Yell to Hermann
>Puke on Hermann
>Puke with Hermann

>>41489185
>Puke with Hermann
Pukesters in arms.

>>41489185
>Puke with Hermann

>>41489185
>Puke with Hermann
Cross the streams.

>>41489185
>Berate Hermann for failing to hold hi-blaaaaaarghh.

>>41489185
>Puke on Hermann
Wahey
Off to sleep with me, thanks for running man

File: 20.png (218 KB, 900x720)

218 KB PNG

>>41489488
(See you next week!)

>>41489270
>>41489251
>>41489223
>>41489217
You go to join your brother in arms.

"No, don't come. It's a trap!" says Hermann. He coughs up blood.

“50 Jim in the house, bitch!” says the dumpster.

A man pops out of the dumpster and delivers a haymaker to your face. You puke.

>Ask who this daring man is
>Announce that this man is harming officers of the Orphan Patr-blaaaaargh

>>41489541
The fuck.
>Announce that this man is harming officers of the Orphan Patr-blaaaaargh

>>41489541
>Aim at the dumpster and then slam it shut

>>41489541
>Announce that this man is harming officers of the Orphan Patr-blaaaaargh

>>41489541
>Announce that this man is harming officers of the Orphan Patr-blaaaaargh

>>41489541
>Ask who this daring man is

>>41489541
>>Announce that this man is harming officers of the Orphan Patr-blaaaaargh

File: 21.png (187 KB, 900x720)

187 KB PNG

>>41489654
You miss! It splatters to the right of the dumpster.

>>41489722
>>41489706
>>41489597
>>41489780
"Citizen, you are attacking the Orphan Patrol, a personal elite security branch of Mr. Bronx, American Administrator of Neu-Moksau!" you yell.

"I was quite aware of that," says the man. "Charmed. My name is Jim. I'm the local mafia boss. I have cousins inside Mr. Bronx's orphanages. Where are they?"

> Give a witty retort
> Admit you don't know
> Jim... cousins... !

>>41489838
> Jim... cousins... !
does this mean we know, or is it just gasping? I want to find out

>>41489838
> Jim... cousins... !
I guess?

>>41489838
> Give a witty retort
Not letting ignorance stop us

>>41489838
> Give a witty retort
"Looking for their cousin Jim, possibly. Why do you ask, do you have a birthday present for one of them?"

File: 22.png (168 KB, 900x720)

168 KB PNG

>>41489895
>>41489871
It's Fifty Cousin Jim! The Grim fucking Reaper of the Orphan Patrol.

You've heard stories of him, of how he attacks Orphan Patrol bases with his cutthroat band of miscreants, looking for his cousins in the orphanages.

One time, he forced four members of the Orphan Patrol to eat their own helmets and shit them back out.

You struggle to maintain your sense of cool.

>>41490090

"Looking for their cousin Jim, possibly. Why do you ask, do you have a birthday present for one of them?" you ask.

He grabs you by the collar.

"50 Jim gets what 50 Jim wants in this town," he says. "Tell me where my cousins are and maybe I won't burn you both to death."

"A-ask Mr. Bronx! I don't know," you tell him.

"I've been trying to make an appointment for a while now. I suppose I'll just have to drop by his house very soon."

Chapter 5 is over, ladies and gentlemen. Good night, and see you next week for an episode of 50 Jim, hair styling, and Mr. Bronx's dysfunctional family!

>>41490220
Thanks for running! I ended up missing half of it sadly, but it was fun.

>>41490220
Thanks for running

File: slickCard.gif (15 KB, 272x371)

15 KB GIF

>>41490310
It was my bad, man. I'm never decisive on picking either Saturday or Sunday to run every week. But thanks for being a regular reader!

And fuck me, I forgot. Slick friendship card, collect them all, bitches.

>>41490368
Fancy!
Oh god, don't get my collection autism involved please. Anyway it's almost 5AM here so ending suits me fine.

File: gordon ramsay.jpg (77 KB, 670x503)

77 KB JPG

>>41490393
Jesus Christ, 5AM. I'm fucking honored, man. Sleep tight.

And don't worry, I won't be cruel about holding back the cards. They'll get out, one way or another.

>>41490220
>It's Fifty Cousin Jim! The Grim fucking Reaper of the Orphan Patrol.
If our character already knew that, it's the kind of thing we should know before we have to make a decision. It doesn't really work to learn who someone is and decide how to deal with them in the same post.